Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Surreal-mind]

I've officially been accepted into college.

Way to go man !!! That's awesome! I'm really happy for you !
*internet high-five*

[Gandara]

Congratulations! Hope you're going to do well!
While we're at it, I've applied for that Sign Language minor ...

Funny, I'm also going to be taking a sign language class. They offer one at the college I'm attending, and even though it's not at all related to my degree (IT-Computer Support Specialist) and I don't think the credit will help, I'm taking it anyway.

Damn it, Katawa Shoujo, stop influencing my life so much!! =)

[Walrusfella]

A spot of good news - I've officially been accepted into college. Turning dat life around, one step at a time.

That's awesome! You're really grabbing this by the reins.

"I was only doing this because..."

Wow... I can't even... thoughtlessly, casually, horribly cruel. I can see why it took years to recover. I took me a while to recover just reading it.

Good on you for sending that message to your online friend. You didn't have to do that and it probably would have been easier not to, but you did anyway. I've got a couple of people I should send messages like that to. Actually, I think I'll do that this evening.

I'm glad so many people (me included) are getting nudged in a better direction because of KS and the community surrounding it. The devs were unwittingly doing God's work when they made this "cripple porn game".

[Total Destruction]

@New Bloods in the HBHC: Welcome, and thanks for the stotytime. Would say some more, but this board's full of way cooler cats than me that kinda nailed it.

@Gandara: SICK. Get your generals done FIRST, if you can. That way, you don't end up an over-educated burnout like yours truly and drop out.

Redbullet612: FUCKIN' A. Work is whatever, a paycheck's whatever. Finding something you enjoy, regardless of how mundane or world-changing, matters the most, and you NEVER know when what you really enjoy might come outta nowhere. Hell, I dropped right the hell outta art school and for some reason picked up sheetrocking and tiling. Go figure. Moral of the story, HBHC, is if you're some directionless 20-30-something like a lot of us (me included) are, just get out and DO things. You never know.

[Kutagh]

Congratulations! Hope you're going to do well!
While we're at it, I've applied for that Sign Language minor ...

Funny, I'm also going to be taking a sign language class. They offer one at the college I'm attending, and even though it's not at all related to my degree (IT-Computer Support Specialist) and I don't think the credit will help, I'm taking it anyway.

Damn it, Katawa Shoujo, stop influencing my life so much!! =)

My Bachelor is Computer Sciences, but I don't care. I'm Deaf, I need to know Sign Language lol

[Kormy]

Thanks to everyone who read my story.

This is quite weird, but even though I haven't told pretty much anyone what has happened to my in past, I've told it twice in the last two days. Once here and about three hours ago to one of my friend's friend who I just met, only because I was listening to her talking about her past. Five minutes later I was telling her about my past. Quite interesting.

But again, Thanks to everyone, it's nice to have someone listening to me, even if It's on a forum.

[Episcia]

Alright, looks like I have something more to say.

No, me and my significant other haven't broken up - in fact, it's the total opposite. We're so close, it hurts us both each night to be so far away. We can't even chat often since we're on very different timezones, even more now that her college classes started this week. I've had the most powerful bouts of loneliness I've felt (Breathlessly sets the mood just right), and I admit, I cry regularly. She's so far away..and I might not even get to see her this year.

I really do need her, as much as she needs me. As much as we want- no, need to hold each other just to stay sane, it just cannot happen. Not for what I will feel would be a very long time.

I can only hope we don't emotionally shatter and put our relationship into a spiral. I know better, but..you can never be sure. Isolation from your beloved can do things to you, you know.

That will be it, I guess - hope you got at least half of all this rambling. Episcia, signing off.

[Xiious]

Tomorrow is the day, guys... I don't know if I'll be on or not... I'm not sure how exactly I'm going to handle this...

[introfate]

Okay, okay.. Where to start.

Well, Gandara. Congratulations on that, Starting something new is always beneficial. I wish you well on that journey.

Xiious, If you need to speak to someone I'm more than willing to. The only bit of advice, I could possibly offer right now is to come spill your emotions here. Writing, reading, or any other activity that uses a lot of your thought process will keep you occupied and potentially lessen the grief you put on yourself. I've bottled enough years of emotion to say that writing here actually feels great. I'm not much of a writer or a reader but within the past week I've done more of it than I have since High School. I mean hell it seems a bit late in the game but I've started to pick up a new language from this too.

Episcia, Long distance relationships are a bit rough because you don't have that physical connection. From what I experienced, the emotional connection is much stronger though. Time away makes a relationship stronger but the rule applies only if it pertains to being a long distance relationship. I don't believe the whole "We need time apart." That is always the backing for a second interest put forth before you. You have no reason to worry about that and I wish your relationship well. I could suggest on your free time use it for creative writing, write a poem or a poem book, possibly a book long love letter? You'd be surprise how many thoughts will pop into your head from this. I know personally when I couldn't sleep during my past relationship, I wrote her 12 page text messages, she ended up compiling them all. Once again though, I wish you well and I have no doubts on how emotionally involved you two are.

Walrusfella, That specific day was hard to overcome but in the end I guess I grew a bit stone-hearted. That could have been a siding factor to why I was so quiet too. Despicable as it was, I don't hate her for it really, I'm the better person. It shows how classy she really was and I hope she matured but I have a bit of doubt surrounding that.

Ehh, I think that sums it up, If any of you want personal feedback from me I will give it my best.

[Exbando]

First off, now I can't even go to my local card shop. My days off no longer coordinate with the days of the magic events, which just sucks (I could get them changed if I really wanted to, but the days that I have off take longer, as those days are when the store that I work at gets shipments of beer and pop).

Alright, time for my replies to things...

Yeah, not knowing what to talk about... Usually that happens because of a lack of confidence. I'd start with the people that play Magic, talk about them, ask them how they designed their decks for example or why they use specific cards. If they made an interesting choice, feel free to debate it. Don't be afraid to say incorrect things, everyone does that at some point.

I think that part of it is my way of thinking as well. If they don't talk to me, then they don't want to talk to me, so I'll just leave them alone.

Are you me?"
-snip-

I don't really know what goes on in the area where I live. The most I feel I could do is walk around downtown when I get done with work (in fact, I'll do this tomorrow if I get out of work at a decent time).

As for the career stuff, my family seems to think differently. When I didn't have a job, all they would do was pester me about it. Even now that I have a part-time job, I think they want me to get another job, even though they haven't said anything yet.

That's all I got for right now on the stuff about me...now onto other stories.

A spot of good news - I've officially been accepted into college. Turning dat life around, one step at a time.

Congratulations! Hope that it all goes well!

Alright, looks like I have something more to say.

No, me and my significant other haven't broken up - in fact, it's the total opposite. We're so close, it hurts us both each night to be so far away. We can't even chat often since we're on very different timezones, even more now that her college classes started this week. I've had the most powerful bouts of loneliness I've felt (Breathlessly sets the mood just right), and I admit, I cry regularly. She's so far away..and I might not even get to see her this year.

I really do need her, as much as she needs me. As much as we want- no, need to hold each other just to stay sane, it just cannot happen. Not for what I will feel would be a very long time.

I can only hope we don't emotionally shatter and put our relationship into a spiral. I know better, but..you can never be sure. Isolation from your beloved can do things to you, you know.

That will be it, I guess - hope you got at least half of all this rambling. Episcia, signing off.

I think that you can handle it. Why? Because you're hurting. I know it sounds weird, but I feel that if you weren't feeling anything, then something would be wrong. It'll be tough, but I think you can handle it.

Please note that I have never been in a relationship. Therefore, this might be the worst piece of advice. If this is the case, then don't listen.

That's all I've got right now. I have read everything, though, just so you know.

6:20 am and I haven't gone to sleep again! I never learn...

[Kouryuu]

Hey guys.

I need a short break, yesterday I broke. I snapped, I lost control. The reason why is really irrelevant.

I am stuck where I always been stuck. I am completely paralysed by fear, always have been and feel like I always will be. It's this realisation that I am fucked. It's not about knowing what I need to do, I just dont know how to do what I need to do. I just hesitate, freeze up. I am scared of being in an unknown situation where I dont know what to do.

Essentially my life has been run by fear. Every action I have made has been motivated by fear. Now its just natural to fear everything. I need to apply for a job but anytime I find a suitable one and decide to apply my mind is filled with doubts and what-ifs. I scare myself out of it. I have never actually gotten myself a job, someone else has always done it for me. Maybe thats the answer? Get someone else to apply for me?

[Axelownz]

Hey guys.

I need a short break, yesterday I broke. I snapped, I lost control. The reason why is really irrelevant.

I am stuck where I always been stuck. I am completely paralysed by fear, always have been and feel like I always will be. It's this realisation that I am fucked. It's not about knowing what I need to do, I just dont know how to do what I need to do. I just hesitate, freeze up. I am scared of being in an unknown situation where I dont know what to do.

Essentially my life has been run by fear. Every action I have made has been motivated by fear. Now its just natural to fear everything. I need to apply for a job but anytime I find a suitable one and decide to apply my mind is filled with doubts and what-ifs. I scare myself out of it. I have never actually gotten myself a job, someone else has always done it for me. Maybe thats the answer? Get someone else to apply for me?

Sorry to hear that, I have broken down before hard, so i might have an idea of how you felt.

As for the Job, it probably wouldn't be good for someone else to apply for you, but they could help you with an online application and help you fill it out, no harm in that at least, i have helped my friends that way. As for the fear of a new job, i think some fear is natural when doing something new, i just transferred to a new area at my work, and i was pretty nervous when i got over there, but after getting a warm welcome i got into it, i dont want to sound to optimistic, but you gotta kind of push the doubt out of your mind and tell yourself it will be fine, and if the job is just horrible you dont have to keep it and can try again. I would say just go for it for the jobs, and if they dont work out, or you don't get it, just brush it off, there have been many times where i didn't get a job.

Not sure if my advice is great, just trying to help, im not that confident in my ability or experience to be giving advice honestly, but i want to try to help out and contribute.

[Kouryuu]

As for the Job, it probably wouldn't be good for someone else to apply for you, but they could help you with an online application and help you fill it out, no harm in that at least, i have helped my friends that way. As for the fear of a new job, i think some fear is natural when doing something new, i just transferred to a new area at my work, and i was pretty nervous when i got over there, but after getting a warm welcome i got into it, i dont want to sound to optimistic, but you gotta kind of push the doubt out of your mind and tell yourself it will be fine, and if the job is just horrible you dont have to keep it and can try again. I would say just go for it for the jobs, and if they dont work out, or you don't get it, just brush it off, there have been many times where i didn't get a job.

Not sure if my advice is great, just trying to help, im not that confident in my ability or experience to be giving advice honestly, but i want to try to help out and contribute.

Thank you. I know what I need to do, all of what you've said, I have said to myself. I just need to do it. I just get that panic, that moment when I am about to apply and I just get so nervous I start shaking.

I feel so stupid and pathetic really. It's like theres this thing thats really easy to do but I cant do it.

[Axelownz]

Have you talked to anyone about it in real life? It could be a case of Anxiety and not something you can really control, if its that bad that you start shaking.

[Kouryuu]

No I havent, I kept meaning to for months to my mum, but I just felt so wierd. I didnt know how to say it either, just kind of like "oh btw I'm scared of everything". That doesnt make sense... I think she thinks I am just lazy or something. I dont know, I barely talk to my mum and I avoid my dad like the plague. It's always super awkward when I talk to anyone in my family.