Katawa Shoujo Forums

Time Bruises Memories
Written by Doomish

Sorry I don't ever finish anything. There's nothing left to say, really.



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So here goes, Iwanako. One last letter to you before I give up. Ever since you called me out all those many months ago and I responded to you and you never got back to me, I've been writing. Writing hard about who knows what. Maybe I'm just looking to vent about things, the goings on that drag my daily life along by the nose. Maybe I'm just lonely.

I don't think I'm even going to send this one. I've basically given up on ever getting a letter back from you and though really I could just look up your number and call you, I think it's better this way.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. My mind has been wandering back and forth between subjects at random and it's kind of affecting my ability to pay attention in class. One minute I'll be writing down notes or copying them from over Shizune's shoulder- the girl who sits next to me, I mean -and another I'll be far away from here, far away from the school and normal life and everything, in a world in my head. Some would just call that day dreaming but I think it's something more than that.

What if there are other worlds out there that we can't see? What if there are a thousand, a million universes where anything can happen and anyone can do anything? Where anything, no matter how dumb sounding, can be possible? There could be worlds where everything works as normal with a few changes or even whole realities where everything is exactly the same as our own just by chance. Wouldn't that be amazing?

But I guess that's too wax poetic to be true, really. I guess my girlfriend is just putting ideas in my head again- you remember her, I'm sure, I talk about her a lot. That's still a weird prospect even after all this time. I think some of her ADHD might have transferred over to me just from being around her.

The thought is still interesting regardless. I mean, think about it: Anything is possible even if it's not possible right here, right now. It's just like writing, in a way. I've been writing a lot lately too, though not to you as much as I used to.

Been going through kind of a rough patch lately. It's no big deal, I'm sure I'll get over it, but sometimes my heart acts up for no good reason and it makes me wonder if I'm finally past my expiration date, so to speak. Stuff like that gets me thinking about what I'm doing with my life. I've been talking to my parents recently and they're wondering what I'm gonna do when I graduate from Yamaku. I'm wondering that too. I asked Misha what she plans to do after school and she just shrugged at me so at least I'm not alone on that one. I wonder what you're doing right now.

Forgive me for noodling around a bit. There's just some stuff I want to get off my chest one way or another and whether I'm gonna send you this letter or not I think I want to write it down just in case. We've been talking about getting out of here, the two of us. Leaving Yamaku and skipping town and going somewhere far away to live on our own. I think that sounds nice but I don't know if I want to give up the friends that I have here. I've made a lot of them. I don't think two kids fresh out of high school could survive on their own these days anyway. Maybe in some other world we already left and we're happy; maybe we're miserable.

I don't know if what Misha and I have is love. In fact I don't think it is. It feels mostly like infatuation, like I found interest in what I saw on the outside before thinking about what the inside was like. For a while things were amazing between us but now we've gone back to being mostly just friends and I think that's fine.

Moving on is the best thing I can hope for. I'm not very good at it, it turns out. Leaving the past in the past is not one of my strong points. I keep going back to that day; that snowy field, that stay in the hospital, and the choices I've made that led up to where I'm sitting right now. It's been a long road for sure.

...

Honestly I don't know what else to write here. I've hit a brick wall in the middle of the letter I chose to write. It feels a bit short as is. I have a habit of starting these and not finishing them so I guess I'll do myself a favor for once and just wrap it up while I'm ahead.

So that's mostly what I've been doing. I've decided now that I will send this one and if you get back to me then that's great, but if not that's fine too. It doesn't mean anything important anyway. In the end what I've learned from my time at Yamaku and writing to you is that outside the pages of these letters, life goes on no matter what. As corny as that sounds, I mean. Maybe that's the best I can ask for.

-Hisao

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See you later.

That was interesting and well written. Not much else i could say.

So I guess Hisao "cured" Misha here?

It's a solid piece. It does a very good job at hinting toward a larger and broader context, leaving all sorts of implications.

I also get the sense that this isn't really a letter from Hisao to Iwanako.

A lot of people will be happy to see that you've returned, even if it's only for a short snippet and never to be seen again.

Regardless of any of that, I liked it.

But, since I'm here, one glaring bit jumps out that I can't ignore:

But I guess that's too wax poetic to be true, really.

I think I understand the idea trying to be conveyed here, but something went wrong with the phrasing.

I'm not sure if anyone else will bother, but I want to mention that listening to the provided musical accompaniment while reading added a nice ambiance.

This sounds like the Hisao that first started at Yamaku, if only a little bit more optimistic. It reads as intended, like a letter to someone he hasn't seen for a while who used to be a big part of his life, or maybe even himself. Given the format, my only critique is that the grammar is almost too perfect in places, like there ought to have been more ellipses and cut-off phrases and such, but it works either way.

This kinda makes me sad you never finished your Misha route, because this feels like something that would appear as a footnote on that story; like a last bit of writing on the final page that comes straight from Hisao's pen, interpreted through the vocabulary of the character, giving his final impression of the story he shared with Misha.

I'm just rambling at this point.

Welcome back, Doomish. Even if you don't stay long, it's good to see you.

Doomish! Very glad to see you here again, as I enjoyed most of your writing.

That song set a perfect mood for the letter, so I thank you for including it. Made me feel exactly as described; a bit reminiscent and melancholy, but there is still hope and the world won't stop turning. A short addition, but a powerful one nonetheless.

I know you've said that you have stopped writing KS fanfiction, so is this some kind of statement to the renai as well? Or coincidence?

Anyway, very good to have you back for the time being!

Helbereth wrote:there ought to have been more ellipses and cut-off phrases and such

Of course you'd say that

Mournful3ch0 wrote:is this some kind of statement to the renai?

I'm very much getting that vibe as well.

This is a rather melancholy feeling piece, I feel. Bittersweet, even. I'm disappointed in myself that I am questioning whether my liking it is due to my liking of Doomish's writing or to my liking of the piece on its merits. All I can say for sure is that misreading a word near the end has given me somewhat of an idea for a piece of my own. Something a friend said sums this up pretty well, I think: "...this is pretty finite. Though it hints at a lot of unsolved/unresolved things, it definitely has a 'finished' feeling to it."

Welcome back, buddy. And, if this is indeed a meta-statement, then allow me to add: see you space cowboy.

As always your writing is excellent.
In this case almost too good to come from Hisao. Still a very good short - welcome back!

Just gonna go ahead and post again, if that's alright.

Doomish wrote:Maybe in some other world we already left and we're happy; maybe we're miserable.

With that song playing in the background, that one sentence sets the tone for the whole story. I'm not certain about much, but I know we're not happy.

So what if I've read this a half dozen times? I think it's some of your best work.

Thanks again.