Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

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Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by JustAFerret » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:36 am

Alright so to give some explanation, I had originally written this for FanFiction.Net until it was suggested to me that I post it here. So here I am! Hello all, how are ya doing?

Introductions aside, I will say that this is my attempt at a story set after Hanako's Good Ending. There is also going to be an OC as a main character. Sorry if that isn't your cup of tea.

So that's pretty much the gist of it. Enjoy the story!
Chapter 1: Walk about Town

It wasn’t every day Hanako made a valiant effort to lead. But today was no ordinary day. Both she and Hisao, after spending some time trying to mend their relationship together, were waiting patiently at the airport terminal for Lilly. Since they’d arrive, Hanako had been anxiously pacing back and forth; waiting for any sign of her best friend’s return. Hisao always found it endearing the way she expressed her excitement. Ever since the two began to break down the walls between them at the park, she had been working hard to break herself out of her self-imposed shell. It was slow, but Hisao wasn’t going to push her. They both worked hard enough to get to where they were as is.

“Maybe that’s it?” Hanako pointed at one of the incoming planes. Hisao followed her finger and shook his head solemnly.

“No, wrong colors, I think.” He says. He could see Hanako visibly deflate out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh.” She mumbled. Hisao suppressed a smile and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. She peered up at him through her fringe. Hisao had only done this once before, during their late-night voyage into the city with Lilly and Akira. Although she let him, in hindsight, it was a risky move. Now it felt like the most natural thing to do for her.

Hanako seemed to share his mindset. A small, warm smile graced her lips before she settled her head in the curve of his arm. She wasn’t used to this kind of contact, but by no means did it make her uncomfortable. She leaned into him while watching the planes come and go, savoring the feeling of her body pressed against his. Instant warmth bloomed in Hisao’s heart. Having this kind of casual but intimate contact with Hanako was something he never thought would become reality and yet here they were, holding each other like any new couple would.

The two stayed in comfortable silence. Occasionally, Hanako would ask Hisao if one plane was the one, only for Hisao to disagree.

After an indeterminable amount of time, Hanako pointed at another incoming plane. “How about that one?”

Hisao’s tired eyes turned towards the sky. His mouth opened to allay her hope but he stopped before a word could come out. “That might be it, actually.”

Hisao could see a sparkle light up in Hanako’s dark eyes. She excused herself from Hisao’s hold and put her hands on the wide glass window like an exuberant child. They both watched as the plane inched closer and closer to the runway before landing. Hanako pushed off the glass and took Hisao’s hand.
“C-come on…They’re getting out…soon.” She mumbled barely above a whisper. Hisao squeeze her hand lightly before leading them both towards the plane’s location. As they entered the throng of people, Hisao could feel Hanako move closer to him. Even after the slow process of healing her time-tested scars started, she was still the wary girl he met in the library a long time ago.

The two came to a stop near where the passengers were being offloaded. Hanako eagerly scanned the crowd until the striking sight of blonde hair caught her eye. Hisao noticed the unmistakable sight at the same time, waving his hand in the air to get their attention. Within seconds, one of them noticed and pushed through the crowd to greet them.

“L-Lilly!” Hanako let go of Hisao’s hand and embraced her closest friend. Lilly stumbled backwards but quickly regained her footing, returning the gesture in equal force.

“Hanako, it’s so good to see you again.” She replied in her typical calm fashion, though there was no mistaking the smile on her face. Akira came up behind them, slapping Lilly on the shoulder before giving Hisao a casual wave.

“Yo, how did the time treat you?” she asked with a wide grin. Hisao rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging as he did.

“Been quiet for the most part. Hanako and I…just spent tried to do whatever we could to kill the time.” Hisao said. He briefly contemplated the idea of telling them about his and Hanako’s recent relationship upgrade. He felt confident they wouldn’t disapprove of their bond, but a piece of him overrode his reasoning. They’d have a better time explaining everything once they were settled in and no doubt Hanako would appreciate being in a more comfortable area when they broke the news. It was her who decided to be the one to tell Lilly about them becoming more than friends.

“Good to hear. At least you guys had a killer time.” She replied with the same snarky grin.

“So, why the delay? We didn’t expect to be waiting out here for so long.” Hisao half-joked. Akira’s grin shrunk to a grimace as she recalled the day’s earlier events.

“Yeah, it was pouring something awful when we got to the airport. We got soaked just trying to get to the entrance.” Her gaze lilted to the side before adding, “The jet lag didn’t help Lilly much either.”

“Oh? And you didn’t feel a thing?” Lilly retorted, turning her cloudy blue eyes towards her headstrong sister. Akira puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips.

“Nah, I’m used to it.”

Akira checked the watch on her wrist. A frown etched itself on her face as she said, “I gotta go. Guess I have no time to rest after all. You guys can find your way back right?”

Lilly clasped her hands together, a questioning look plainly written on her face. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yup. No rest for the wicked, huh? I’ll catch you guys later. The taxi I called for you guys should be around…somewhere. I’ll call you later Lilly. Ciao,” Akira held her hand up high as she walked off, leaving the other three in a thick crowd.

“Need help with your bags, Lilly?” Hisao offered. Lilly gave him another one of her sweet smiles and nodded.

“Thank you, Hisao. I see you haven’t lost your gentlemanly touch,” She said with a soft laugh, probably because of her use of the word ‘see’. Hisao shrugged it off and led the way to the bag retrieval without thinking anything of it. He had learned long ago that he didn’t need to worry about tripping a sensitive landmine when it came to Lilly’s blindness.

It only took a short span of time for Hisao to grab Lilly’s luggage before exiting the airport. A fresh blast of air hit his face as he stepped out. The warm summer wind tickled his skin as he basked in the sun’s rays. Hisao’s arms protested slightly as he carried Lilly’s suitcase with her and Hanako on either side of him. Lilly reached into her bag and fished out her cane, extending it with a flick of her wrist before continuing on.

“Were you able to enjoy yourself while I was away, Hanako?” Lilly’s airy voice broke the silence as they walked. Her cane lightly tapped against the concrete, punctuating every word. Hisao and Hanako shared a quick glance with Hanako absently rubbed her arm, trying to muster a good response.
“Y-yes. I-I spent on a lot of time in the library…and with Hisao,” she answered her. Another few taps from Lilly’s cane filled the pause before Hanako added, “We…we went to the park the other day to…relax.”

“Yeah, just another lazy day. So how was Scotland, Lilly? Is your aunt alright?” Hisao interjected. Ready to change subjects.

“Yes, she’s quite fine. She gave us a bit of a scare, but the doctors say she’ll make a full recovery.” Lilly said with relief evident in her voice. Hanako smiled and stared down at the ground.

“I’m happy for your aunt.” She said meekly.

“Thank you, Hanako.”

Another lull entered their conversation. Hisao’s arms felt like they’d give way under the amount of exertion he was putting on them. Of course giving out now and putting the burden on someone else wasn’t a better alternative. He had to be the gentleman, after all.

A yelp drew his attention towards Hanako. She looked up, like a deer in headlights, at the person she bumped into. A boy with black hair no older than them stared back at her, his eyes wide but his face blank. It wasn’t hard to notice he was staring at Hanako’s severe scars and, true to custom; he quickly looked away, preferring to look down at the sidewalk. Hisao was reminded of the old man that ran the antique store where he bought Hanako’s birthday present. And just like before, he felt some irritation at the boy’s blatant attempt at looking casual.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. Before Hanako could give a reply, he walked away, his eyes still planted firmly on the ground. Hanako’s shoulders sunk as she did the same.

“Hanako, what happened?” Lilly was still staring ahead of her, unaware of her collision. Hisao looked back the boy for a brief moment before giving Hanako a slight nudge on the shoulder. She tilted her head up at him, looking dejected.

“Hanako just had a run in with someone.” Hisao said. Lilly perked up and glanced at Hanako’s general direction.
“Is everything alright?”

Hanako’s eyes darted from Hisao to Lilly then back before saying in her best strong voice, “Y-yes. I’m fine, Lilly. It’s…nothing to worry about.”

Hisao watched with some pride as Lilly processed her words. Her face was blank with concentration before turning back to its usual calm expression. “Very well, shall we move on?”

Hisao nodded before realizing the futility of the action. He mentally slapped himself on the head and said, “Sure thing.”

Hisao soon caught sight of the taxi Akira had called. After making sure it was indeed the right one, Hisao loaded the trunk with Lilly’s belongings and the three piled in the backseat.

“Oh, I forgot to mention. Do you two have any plans for the three day weekend?” Lilly asked. Hisao and Hanako exchanged shrugs.

“Not really, no. Did you have something in mind?” Hisao asked. Lilly nodded. She tapped a slender finger against her pale cheek as she spoke.

“Indeed. I was thinking that we could spend the weekend in my family’s summer home in Hokkaido. Akira says she’s planning to go there herself and thought it would be better if we went before her.” She said.

“Sounds like she’s trying to get us to clean the house for her.” Hisao speculated. Lilly laughed and pressed her hand against her lips.

“I wouldn't put it past her. She’s clever like that.”

“Well in any case, I’m all for it.” Hisao said. Hanako shared in his agreement, nodding while she spoke.

“I-I would like it too…” she said. Lilly nodded with a large smile.

“Very good. Looks like I’ll be packing once again.” Lilly said with a cheeky grin. Hisao chuckled lightly.

Something took hold of Hisao’s hand. He looked down and felt the blood rush to his cheeks when he saw Hanako’s fingers intertwined with his. Hanako was blushing as well but she kept staring down at their hands rather than him.

“This is new.” Hisao whispered low enough for Hanako to hear and not Lilly. At least, he hoped she couldn’t.

“I-I thought since…we…we were trying to know each other better, I thought…” Hisao placed his other hand over hers. His fingers ran gently over her scars. The contrast between her smooth skin and taut, leather-like scars still felt jarring to him, but he tried his best not to show it.

“I’m okay with it, Hanako. This is what two people do in a relationship, right?” Hanako’s blushing deepened as she squeezed his hand lightly.

Hisao could swear there was a small glint in her eyes as she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her dark locks of hair dangled over her face as she whispered, “I-I like that we can do this.”

Hisao returned her sentiment with a light squeeze of her hand. The rest of the car ride passed in silence.

Hisao stood in front of the girl’s dorm, his arms protesting under the weight of Lilly’s baggage. He finally showed some mercy and dropped them to the ground, letting Lilly take them, “Thank you, Hisao. It feels nice retuning to Yamaku.”

Hanako came to his side and held his hand. Hisao turned his attention to her and smiled. Hanako returned the gesture before turning to Lilly. “Umm…Lilly?”

“Yes, Hanako?”

Hanako mumbled under her breath, unsure of how to phrase her statement. Hisao’s eyes jumped from Lilly to Hanako. A part of him wanted to help her along, but they both agreed to let her be the one to tell Lilly. Ever since she and Lilly met, she always followed the path that remained away from the spotlight, away from any chance of attention. And now Hanako, that shy and nervous girl Lilly knew almost through and through, needed to show how strong she became in the short time Lilly was gone.

“While you were gone…Hi-Hisao and I…” Hanako gulped nervously but pressed forward without breaking stride. “We…We found out about each other. We’re…together now. We’re dating.”

Hanako’s entire body stood uncomfortably still. Her hand kept a tense grip on Hisao’s as they both waited for a response. Lilly’s expression remained pensive with her hands clasped in front of her. Before either Hanako or Hisao could entertain the thought of explaining themselves, a bright, cheerful smile erupted on Lilly’s lips.

“Hanako, Hisao, I can’t tell you how happy I am for the both of you.” Hanako fidgeted slightly before vigorously nodding.

“Thank you, Lilly. I-I almost thought you wouldn’t approve of us.” She said. Lilly shook her head and took Hanako’s hand in hers.

“Nonsense, Hanako. If anything, I’m ecstatic that you two have grown closer. I always felt there was some connection between you both,” Lilly released Hanako’s hand and chuckled lightly to herself, “You two deserve each other; however amusing it was to see you both trying to act normal around each other.”

Hanako blushed while Hisao stuttered sheepishly. Exactly how long did Lilly know about their affection for each other, he wondered? Thinking back, there were several times that he could have interpreted as Lilly subtlety prodding them to get closer. She already admitted the reasoning behind their late night excursion into the city. Were there other times she tried to indirectly help them?

Regardless, Hisao forced an awkward cough and wringed his hands, “Well, thanks a lot, Lilly. We owe you.”

Lilly waved a hand in front of her, dismissing the notion, “I’d do anything for my friends, Hisao.”

A period of silence followed as Lilly gathered her things, “I must be off to my dorm now. I’m exhausted after that long flight.”

Lilly took a hold of her bags and nodded, the cheerful smile never leaving her face, “Hanako, could you please help me to my room? And I will see you early in the morning, Hisao? The trip to Hokkaido will be a long one.”

“Sure thing, Lilly.” Hisao said. Hanako took a step towards Lilly’s luggage before freezing in place. She hesitated briefly before whipping around and wrapping her arms around Hisao’s neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. Hisao’s arms stayed limp at his side before regaining his senses. He rested his hands on her sides and returned her affection. The kiss lasted a moment longer before Hanako pulled away, leaving a lingering warmth on Hisao’s lips. Hanako’s cheeks were flushed, almost red.

The dainty smile on her face grew as she spoke, “See you tomorrow, Hisao.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

The two stared at each other for a moment longer before Hanako nodded abruptly, taking Lilly’s bags and ushering her inside. Hisao released a light sigh and walked back into the male dorm, beaming all the way to his room.
For the first time in months, he felt genuinely happy.

“Hanako, there is a question I’d like to ask.” Lilly said. Her suitcase lay agape on her bed as she fished out random articles of clothing. Hanako, who kept her eyes glued to the view outside, nodded timidly.

“Wh-what is it?”

Lilly turned away from her bed, staring at Hanako with her clouded blue eyes. “I don’t mean to pry, but I am rather curious. How did you and Hisao find out about each other’s feelings?”

Hanako opened her mouth but said nothing. A multitude of things jumbled in her mind. What could she possibly say to her? Hanako didn’t have a doubt in her mind that she could trust Lilly with anything, but remembering what happened that night, let alone relaying it, was at the very least, uncomfortable. Even though she and Hisao agreed to put it behind them, she still felt disgusted with herself. She confided in Lilly about many things, but this time she wasn’t sure if this part of her life should be told to others.

The internal battle raged on inside her as she held a hand over fringe covering her scars. Seconds ticked by with a suffocating silence descending between them. Lilly, curious by Hanako’s lack of a response, released a quiet sigh and searched for her friend’s shoulder. After finding it, Lilly gave her a relaxed smile, “You don’t need to tell me anything, Hanako. I was only curious. If you don’t feel the need to tell me, I won’t force anything.”

Hanako immediately regretted saying nothing. On one hand, she felt an immense amount of relief. On the other, her silence was far more telling than her own words. Maybe later on, when she felt more sure of herself, she could tell the whole story. However, her last chance to explain herself now vanished as soon as Lilly changed the subject, “Hanako, would you mind grabbing me a tin of tea?”

Hanako agreed and exited her room without a sound. Lilly shuffled towards the door and shut it behind her, the smile dropping from her face. If she had to keep up her charade any longer, she was afraid she’d let something slip. Lilly navigated to her bed with ease and sat down on the firm mattress. While she was grateful neither Hisao nor Hanako delved too deeply about her trip, a part of her wanted to tell them everything; including the ultimatum posed to her by her parents
Ever since that day, her mind had been constantly rattled by the ominous cloud looming over her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t think of an end that could solve everything. Her family, the people she hadn’t seen for six years, wanted her back. They wanted her to come back to Scotland; and in doing so, cut all ties to her friends.

When Akira told her about it she was furious. Not at her parents, but at the situation she was stuck in. She didn’t know how to deal with any of it so she kept her feelings bottled up, letting them fester as she desperately looked for some way to appease everyone. Of course, there was no such thing. She either had to disappoint her parents or her closest friends; and she despised disappointing anyone.

The remnants of her calm mask crumbled. Her hands clutched the sheets of her bed, twisting them in her fists. The more she thought about it, the more her frustrations took control. Anger seethed inside her as she released the sheets and collapsed her head in her hands. She couldn’t leave Hanako or Hisao. Even if they found each other, she could not, in good faith, leave them after all they’ve been through together. She worked so hard to build a life for herself without her parents. Now the foundations were being pulled right under her feet.

Lilly took a deep breath to calm herself. Her sharp hearing picked up Hanako’s footsteps coming closer to the door. In one fluid motion, she sat up straight and rebuilt her calm exterior, her inevitable choice shoved aside. She still had some time before her parents expected an answer. But try as she might, she could see no silver lining. Just dread filling her as the same ominous cloud came ever closer.

A powerful bright light stung his eyes the second he opened them. He tried to shield his eyes from the intense beams but his arm refused to cooperate or the rest of his body for that matter.

Something cool brushed against his cheek. Was he in a bed? The heavy wool blankets covering his body suggested as much. He struggled to regain control of his body, but it fought against his exertions. Soft cracks sprang from his spine as he stretched himself. A sudden wave of exhaustion overwhelmed him and he fell back into his bed with a muffled sigh. His limbs felt like they hadn’t been used in ages and whined against the slightest amount of force. A dull throbbing reverberated in his skull. He tried to remember what happened but was only given a swift jolt of pain for his efforts. His brain felt like it had been stabbed with a hot knife several times. Maybe he was stabbed in the brain with a hot knife.

A strong, antiseptic smell suddenly assaulted his nostrils. He recognized that smell anywhere. The odor was pretty much a trademark for hospitals everywhere. His surroundings seemed to confirm it. Plain tiled ceiling, linoleum floor, and generic wallpaper adorned the room. Hospitals spent a lot of money on a lot of things. Making someone feel at home was obviously not one of them.

Fatigue continued to beckon his weary form. His body put up little resistance. He ran his hand over his head. A rough texture appeared where his black hair should have been. They felt like bandages.

Why am I here? Was I always here? How long have I been here? And for that matter, who am I?

His brown eyes searched the room, hoping the answers were written somewhere. Luckily, one of his answers popped into in his mind, clear as day.

Oh right, Takeo. I’m…Takeo.

He scrunched up his brow as his brain tried to remember more. “Takeo…Kio? Or was it Takash? Maybe it was Keto?”

A clipboard hanging off a heart monitor to his left caught his attention. Takeo reached out and grabbed it by two fingers, holding it close enough to read.
“Takeo…Kato. Close enough.” He muttered. “Now for the big question…why am I here?”

He let go of the clipboard when he was overwhelmed with another wave of exhaustion. This time it overpowered him, taking him into a deep sleep.
Bits and pieces of something flooded his mind, but none of it made any sense to him. Soon enough, those disappeared as well, leaving him in a void of dreamless slumber.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:50 pm

Welcome to the forums!
The story is looking very good so far. The wording is a bit awkward in a few places, and the tense should be past perfect in a few instances near the beginning, but no major complaints.
Your description of Lilly's feelings about her parents' summons makes her a lot more likeable than her reaction in the original VN :-)
I assume you plan to pair of your OC with Lilly, which is okay, but it might be a bit hard to put all that in the maybe two or three weeks (?) between the start of the story and Lillys departure for Scotland
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by sanduba » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:45 pm

Very good writing, I'll definitely bookmark it.
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:37 pm

Welcome to the forum! I like you're style and the story so far :D

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Blasphemy » Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:11 pm

Woah, third person, past tense narration feels super weird now when most other fanfics, and the VN itself of course, are first person narrator and in present tense. Though 'Closure' had a very good third-person narration...

Anyways, so far pretty good. Again, this kind of narration just feels a bit weird to me right now but should go away in case there's nothing else wrong with the writing that makes it feel a bit off.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Munchenhausen » Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:10 pm


This has caught my attention, good sir. I shall be watching this thread ;D
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by JustAFerret » Fri Jan 10, 2014 11:52 pm

Hey guys! Just wanted to pop in to post the latest chapter and to say I'm very grateful for the support you've given me. It's encouraging to hear anything from you guys, whether it'd be praise or critique. Thank you so much! :D
Mirage_GSM wrote:I assume you plan to pair of your OC with Lilly, which is okay, but it might be a bit hard to put all that in the maybe two or three weeks (?) between the start of the story and Lillys departure for Scotland
I've thought about it, yeah. Although I'm actually not sure if it'll happen. Maybe I'll make it a choice of sorts later down the road. But as of now, it could go either way.
Blasphemy wrote:Woah, third person, past tense narration feels super weird now when most other fanfics, and the VN itself of course, are first person narrator and in present tense. Though 'Closure' had a very good third-person narration...

Anyways, so far pretty good. Again, this kind of narration just feels a bit weird to me right now but should go away in case there's nothing else wrong with the writing that makes it feel a bit off.
I've done a few first-person pieces but third-person writing is what I'm usually comfortable with. It's my good ol' foundation of composition.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by JustAFerret » Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:25 am

Alright so in the interest of not having an absurdly long post, I'm cutting this chapter into two parts and posting them on two separate posts. Enjoy!

Chapter 2: The New Student

Hisao stared blankly at the board in front of him. Normally, he’d make an effort to listen to Mutou’s lectures. But after spending the three day weekend in Hokkaido, his brain was still in hibernation even after a few school days had passed. Hisao would often catch himself reading the same equation over and over again, reading the problem without actually understanding it. Mutou had knack for boring most of the class; today even more so as he droned on about his lesson in harmonic motion. The eraser of Hisao’s pencil tapped against his wooden desk, making a steady beat that Mutou’s words seemed to follow.
The memories from Hokkaido were still fresh in Hisao’s mind. Rather than take a bullet train, Lilly and Hanako suggested riding one of the more traditional ones. Their travel time grew ten-fold but Hisao managed to find a way to kill time, either by playing cards with Hanako or reading one of the books he brought with him.

By the time they arrived, the sun just barely peeked over the horizon, washing the landscape with a comforting orange glow. After settling themselves in, Lilly gave Hisao and Hanako the only bedroom in the house, leaving the pull out sofa to herself. Hisao could remember Hanako’s cheeks flushing into a deep red when she told them they’d be sharing a room. The memory brought an amused smirk to his lips.

As the days went by, they’d occasionally go into the nearby town to explore and shop. Hanako and Hisao would often spend time alone, either checking out some of the shops themselves or enjoying a lunch together. Hisao peeked out of the corner of his eye to see Hanako staring at her open textbook. A sparkle reflected off the partially concealed bracelet on her wrist. It was a simple silver chain design with various ornaments attached, but it meant the world to her when Hisao gave it to her as a gift.

A small object poked Hisao in the side. His attention snapped towards the source. The offending object, which turned out to be nothing more than a pencil, was held up by none other than Misha. A wide grin grew on her face as she slid him a note. Hisao gave her an accusing glare before unfolding the wrinkled piece of paper.

Did you enjoy your weekend, Hicchan?

Hisao arched an eyebrow in her direction. It felt like such a strange thing to ask in the middle of a lesson. Why couldn’t she wait until the end of class? Regardless, Hisao wrote down his response and covertly slid it back on her desk.

Yeah, it went by fine. Yours?

Misha suppressed a giggle and energetically wrote something down, her tongue sticking out all the while. She carefully folded it up again and slid it towards Hisao.

It was great! Shicchan and I had lots of fun!

After jotting down his reply, Hisao returned the note, maintaining a vigilant lookout for Mutou.

That’s nice to hear.

Before Hisao could focus on the board again, Misha thrusted the note back in his face. This time, her happy, carefree expression turned into something resembling a forced imitation of Emi’s puppy dog look. Unfortunately for Misha, her expression was…less than heart tugging.

But we need your help, Hicchan! Shicchan and I need to file a lot of paper work, including the forms for a new student! Isn’t it exciting?! Remember when you transferred in, Hicchan?

Hisao glanced at Misha, who was struggling to keep her puppy dog look as genuine as possible. So that was what she wanted.

So you want me to file the paperwork for you while you show the new student around?

Yup! Please, Hicchan? You wouldn’t leave two cute girls at the mercy of paperwork, would you?

Hisao took another glance at Misha then at her mute counterpart. Shizune kept her attention straight ahead, her eyes peering over the rims of her glasses. Hisao had no doubt in his mind that the class president put Misha up to this. It was just another ploy to get him to spend more time with them.

I can’t Misha. I have some things I need to take care of. Maybe I can help you guys another time?

Misha’s expression turned genuinely sad before the familiar smirk resurfaced. She hastily scribbled on the paper before returning it.

Do you mean a girl? Naughty Hicchan!

Hisao face palmed. He could swear that his red cheeks would be visible if not for his hand covering his visage. He shook his head with an exasperated sigh and wrote down a reply with a dramatic swoop of his hand.

It’s personal, Misha. Could you just keep it between us?

Misha giggled. It was obvious it took all of her restraint not to burst out in her trademark laughter.

Awww, okay Hicchan. But don’t think you’re off the hook yet!

Hisao grumbled something under his breath. If Shizune and Misha had one talent, it’d be their ability to interrogate someone mercilessly; sometimes without even trying. One way or another, they would find out about Hanako and him. Hisao only hoped that he could avoid it for as long as possible.

With their conversation dried up, Hisao redirected himself towards the board. Mutou didn’t notice their brief exchange and droned on about various applications of the equation he had written on the board. Hisao already had a firm grasp on the material and just barely followed along as he stared blankly out the window.

Yamaku’s grounds stood silent. Not a soul could be seen or heard in the impressive complex. At first glance, the building looked completely abandoned and it unnerved Takeo to no end.

Place gives me the creeps. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a hot idea after all.

Takeo winced when he remembered he had no choice in the matter. His hand reached up and scratched the bandages that wrapped around his head. Some of them had been removed before he was discharged from the hospital, leaving a mound of his black hair exposed on the top of his head. His conversation with his doctor echoed in his mind.

“Since we’ve been unable to find your parents or guardians, we’ve had to act accordingly. Until further notice, you will be classified as a ward of the state until your caretakers are found.” The doctor told him in an emotionless tone. Takeo shook his head.

“You have my name, right? Can’t you just use that?”

“Yes we’ve been able to ‘identify’ you,” the doctor said while making air quotations, “but that’s only because of a scrap of paper we found in your pocket when you were recovered. The only thing written on it was your name written in crayon. But so far, we haven’t found anyone that could be your parents.”

Takeo’s hand absently fished into his pocket and pulled out the torn paper in question. Just like the doctor said, his name was the only thing written on it. The handwriting was amateurish, like a preschooler wrote it. The top edge was torn and dots of dried blood were stained on it. Takeo tried to remember what happened, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate.

“So…what happened to me?” he asked after sitting up. Over the course of a few days, Takeo could feel his strength slowly returning to him, but he hadn’t gathered enough to walk around. The doctor looked over his charts before answering.

“According to eye witnesses, you were walking down the street when you were struck by a car. The good news is your injuries were light and should heal quickly enough, but the bad news is that you suffered some considerable brain trauma, which is the cause of the retrograde amnesia you have right now. I believe that until you regain your memory, we won’t be able to find any concrete evidence about your life before your accident. So, I’ve decided that until you do, you’ll be transferred to a facility where people with your…specific needs are catered to.”

Takeo passed through the wrought iron gates and stepped into the courtyard. The smooth rustling of the trees that dotted the campus welcomed his entrance. As he wandered around the courtyard, Takeo pulled out another piece of paper, a signed order for a number of prescription medicines. The revelation of his injury and subsequent memory loss were hard enough. Finding out about the main reason for his transfer into Yamaku was even worse.

“My…needs? What do you mean? I just got a little bruise on my head; I don’t think that needs special treatment, right?” Takeo asked. Despite his cavalier attitude, he felt a kernel of fear sprouting in his heart. None of it felt right.

The doctor shook his head and told him in a stern tone, “I’m the doctor here, Takeo. And the reasoning for sending you to a specialized facility goes farther than the ‘little bruise’ on your head.”

The man ran a hand over his greying hair; his baggy eyes scanned the contents of the clipboard in his hand as he spoke, “Takeo, you may have been aware of this before your accident, but we ran some tests and found a massive spike in your body’s cellular degeneration. We ran some more tests to confirm our findings and diagnosed a potentially fatal condition if it’s not treated. Basically, your immune system can’t tell the difference between actual antigens and living tissue. Your white blood cells are attacking your organs.”

Takeo shuddered when the doctor’s voice replayed everything in his mind. He was sick. His body was literally trying to destroy itself. What made it worse was the absence of a cure. Correcting his immune system wasn’t possible, so the doctors had no choice but to prescribe him medicine to suppress it. Of course, once his immune system was weaker, he would be more at risk from things as simple as the common cold. Either his immune system would kill him or a fever would. Both were equally morbid ends. One mistake and he’d be a goner by the end of the day. As far as Takeo was concerned, the thing that saved everyone else was making a special effort to kill him and there was nothing he could do about it.

“…This has to be a joke. How can that exist? There’s…there’s no way…”

“Unfortunately it is,” The man said softly, “you have a variation of Auto-Immune disease. There’s no cure, but we have medication that will keep it in check and keep you from getting sick. That’s why we’re sending you to a school that is appropriately outfitted for someone such as yourself , Yamaku Academy. There’s a 24 hour nursing staff, a dorm building for you to live in, and every accommodation for the physically disabled is met. It’s an ideal place for you until we find your parents or until your memory is restored.”

After the doctor’s explanation, Takeo hardly put up any resistance to the idea. As much as he didn’t like being put in a hospital masquerading as a school, he didn’t have much choice. The best he could hope for was a quick recovery so that he didn’t have to deal with what appeared to be a depressing place.

He came to a stop at the school’s front door. The doctor told him that someone would be waiting for him, no doubt a teacher or nurse that will show him around before escorting him to his hospital bed. Takeo opened the door and took one step inside, freezing on the spot. A lone girl stood in the lobby, a hand on her hip. Her other hand was lightly tugging one of the twin braided locks of hair on either side of her cute face. When she caught sight of him standing in the doorway, she smiled and came towards him with energetic steps.

“Hey there! You’re the new guy, right?” Takeo opened his mouth to reply but was promptly cut off, “Asami Sasaki’s the name. I’m your class rep. I was asked to show you around before taking you to class.”

Asami held out her hand which Takeo promptly shook. He couldn’t help but notice that Asami looked oddly normal for someone who was attending a school for the physically disabled. He expected someone that was missing a limb…or a part of their head, maybe.

Okay, stop thinking like that! It’s just plain rude. You’re in the same boat as everybody else now.

Still, Takeo couldn’t deny his curiosity. Asami had no obvious disabilities. It made him wonder if her problem was internal like his. Asami continued talking, removing any chance of him asking, “Although, by the time I’m supposed to take you to our little family, classes will be over for the day. If the president had told me a little sooner things could have been different, but we’ll work with what we got.”

Takeo rubbed the back of his head and shrugged, “I guess. So…this is an actual school?”

Asami looked at him like as if she had heard the question plenty of times before. “Well yeah. Yamaku is pretty much like any other school. We have tests, projects, and boring lectures just like any other one would. Sorry to disappoint,” she said with a coy grin.

“At least I’ll be able to get a decent amount of sleep then.” Takeo said. Asami snickered.

“That’s the spirit. You’ll fit in class 3-1 like a glove.” Asami looked at her watch and began making a hissing noise. Takeo was about to ask her what was wrong before she grabbed the cuff of his sleeve and tugged him out of the lobby.

“W-Wait, where are we going?”

“The president, or more specifically her foghorn of an interpreter, told me to at least take you to the nurse’s office before classes were over. Something about your medications,” Asami shoved the front door open and pulled Takeo back into the daylight.

“Sounds like you have something against the president. She’s not that bad…is she?” Takeo said. Asami sighed and took a sharp right towards another building that very much resembled the main campus.

“She rides us constantly. I swear, sometimes I feel like giving up my class rep duties because of her. It doesn’t help that we have to talk through her interpreter too. If you do, it’s a miracle you don’t end up like the person she’s interpreting for.” Asami looked over her shoulder and smirked again, “The president is deaf by the way. I probably should have said that sooner.”

Asami pulled Takeo inside the auxiliary building. The inside looked much more modern than the 19th century architecture suggested. Asami stopped at a white door to her left and pointed towards it, “This is the nurse’s pad. He’s a pretty cool guy. Professional, but laid back. You’ll like him.”

A bell rings out from outside, signaling the end of classes. Asami slapped herself on the forehead and gasped, “Oh boy, I totally need to get back to class. I’ll catch up with you later then. See in class tomorrow!”

Before Takeo could get a word out, Asami bolted past him and straight out the door. He was left standing motionless for a few seconds before coming back to his senses. He brought up his fist and knocked lightly on the door. A muffled ‘come in’ emanated from the other side.

Takeo lightly pushed back the door and was greeted with the wafting odor of hand sanitizer mixed with other things he couldn’t describe in any way other than ‘cleanliness’. The nurse was sitting in his chair, turning towards him as he entered.

“Hello. I uh…I was told to come here.”

The nurse responded to his muttered statement with a sly grin, “Ah, so you’re the new guy. Takeo Kato, wasn't it? Just got your file in the morning. Auto-Immune disorder, not something typical here in Yamaku, but we took care of that, didn’t we?”

Takeo pulled the doctor’s prescription out of his pocket and held it out to him, “I was told to give this to you.”

The nurse took it and scanned over its contents, making a few humming noises along the way. Meanwhile, Takeo took a look at the Nurse’s office. It looked like a piece of the hospital followed Takeo all the way to the school, the only exceptions being the nutritional posters hanging on the wall and the nurse’s desk which was riddled with countless forms and folders.

“Yes, your prescription. This is a formality mostly. All your medicine is already in your dorm along with some extra uniforms and the textbooks you’ll need. The room’s 118.” The Nurse said, “Now, since your immune system’s the problem, you’re going to need to eat plenty of vitamins so that you can stay as healthy as possible. So you be sure to have a diet that consists largely of fruits, apples and such. Also keep some basic medicines for anything ranging from the sniffles to a fever.”

The nurse’s expression suddenly turned stern, catching Takeo off-guard, “Be sure to get plenty of rest. Sleep deprivation can decline your immune system. Couple that with your medication and you’re in trouble. Don’t over-exert yourself either. Too much exercise will tax your immune response as well.”

“That’s…quite a lot to work on.” Takeo admitted. The nurse’s stern face evaporated, replaced by his earlier ear to ear grin.

“Welcome to my world, Takeo. So long as you take your medication and stay healthy, you should be fine.” The nurse cracked one eye wider, adding, “By the way, if you need anything you can always ring us up. You can call me by my name or ‘The Nurse’, whichever strikes you.”

Takeo was going to use his name to be polite but noted the lack of a name tag on his coat.

Well I guess I know what I’m calling him now.

“Alright then. I guess I’ll head to my dorm. Thanks for the help.” Takeo said.

“See you around, Takeo.”

Takeo gave him a polite bow before showing himself out. He stood in the middle of the hallway outside, looking up and down the corridor. There wasn’t a soul to be seen.

Maybe I should head to my dorm. Room 118, right?

Takeo exited the building out into the courtyard. A gentle rustling could be heard in the campus as students migrated towards two identical buildings. Takeo, having no idea where the dorms were, decided to follow the stream.

He felt a little out of place in the congregation of people. He noticed how a lot of the students looked like him and Asami, no distinct or obvious clue about what their disability was. It made him feel slightly more at ease. There were however, a few people who weren’t given the same luck. Takeo made a double take when he noticed a girl missing her left eye and a boy with no fingers on his hand. It made Takeo visibly flinch. He didn’t want to stare but his eyes kept gravitating towards one person to the next. Takeo stared down at the floor instead, keeping his eyes away from other people.

Just don’t stare at them. Look at their feet, look at their feet, look at their feet…that guy’s missing a foot.

Takeo cursed under his breath and lifted his chin. There was really no avoiding looking at them. In truth, he felt a little hypocritical and disgusted with himself for turning his gaze from people who were just like him, boys and girls cheated by fate to live in a less than whole existence. The mere thought depressed him.

On top of that, I have to deal with years of my life being ripped away from me.

Strangely enough, Takeo wasn’t as distraught about losing his memory. He couldn’t place his finger on why, but he felt it wasn’t something he should worry about. His mind will decide when to bring it all back. Until then, he had to bide his time.

The two buildings similar to the main campus soon came before him. A number of students were hanging out around the entrances chatting or exchanging notebooks. Takeo had to assume it was the dorms, “Well, I guess some much needed relaxation is in order.”
Last edited by JustAFerret on Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by JustAFerret » Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:36 am

Hisao took a deep breath of fresh air. Fall was still a ways away, but Hisao could tell he would miss the gentle rays of sunlight.

Hanako was by his side, standing inside the girl’s dorm, “H-Hisao?”


Hanako inched closer to him and slid her hand in his. Despite her usual skittish nature when it came to physical contact, she found herself enjoying the small moments when she could hold hands with Hisao. She felt safe when he was nearby, at ease. Despite their rocky moments, she trusted Hisao implicitly, “W-would you like to come inside?”

Hisao gave her a soft smile and patted the top of the hand he was holding, “I’d love to Hanako, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on. Besides, we still have that date tomorrow, right?”

“R-right,” Hanako released his hand and gave him a quick kiss. Hisao responded by giving her a quick peck on the forehead, prompting a giggle from his girlfriend, “S-see you later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

The two went their separate ways. Hisao ran his fingers over his lips, the lingering warmth of Hanako’s kiss following him. For all her attempts at staying hidden and unseen, Hanako knew how to make a lasting impression. Hisao quickly crossed the space between the female and male dorms and went inside. He didn’t take more than two steps before he heard the familiar and unpleasant sound of Kenji rambling.

Ugh, is he bothering other people now?

Hisao quickened his pace to his room until he came face to face with an astonishing sight. He had half a mind to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly. Kenji was indeed shouting at someone else and that someone else turned out to be someone familiar. Hisao recognized him as the same person who bumped into Hanako on their way out the airport.

How did he get from bumping into Hanako to coming here? Was he a student too?

Regardless, it was obvious from the sight that the boy had no idea what to do. Kenji could only be reasoned with at the best of times. From his theatrical stance and adamant arm motions, Hisao could tell it was the exact opposite. He decided to help him out, even if the boy did stare at Hanako, no one deserved the verbal insanity that Kenji dished out on a regular basis.

“Listen here, and listen well. What I’m going to reveal to you is going to rock your world. It’s going to blow your mind!” Kenji exclaimed. Takeo frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, shaking his head all the while.

“No, no I don’t want my mind blown. It’s gone through enough in case you haven’t noticed,” Takeo pointed at the bandages wrapped around his head.

What am I saying? He’s got glasses thicker than that scarf he’s wearing.

“You’re scared, I understand that. The conspiracy scares a lot of good men. So much that they don’t want to admit the truth. We need to stick together, bro. It’s us against them. Before you know it, they’ll be sneaking behind you and then we’re all doomed. Men will be treated as slaves, forced to do all kinds of girly crap for their amusement. You can help me build my fort, man. We need to make it big, impenetrable. There may be a day where they try to enact a siege, but we’ll be ready, bro. We’ll be ready.”

Takeo rubbed his temples and sighed. He tried making it as clear as possible, but this guy wasn’t taking no for an answer, “No, I don’t want to make a fort with you. I don’t even know how to make a fort.”

“Hey Kenji.”

Takeo and Kenji both turned towards the voice, almost bumping heads in the process. Hisao came up to both of them, giving Takeo a once over. He wore the boy’s school uniform, opting to button up the green jacket all the way. But what caught Hisao’s attention were the bandages wrapped around his head.

That wasn’t there when he brushed into Hanako. That’s got to be recent.

“Sup? I was just recruiting another man to fight those damn feminists. We three shall be the vigilant guardians, protecting all that is masculine from those witches,” Kenji declared. Takeo gave Hisao a pleading look that could only be described as ‘help me’.

“Listen Kenji, I recruited him a while ago. He just came back from a serious recon mission. I almost couldn’t believe he made it out alive. He’s a brave man,” Hisao patted Takeo on the shoulder for emphasis, “You need some rest. Be sure to give me a report later.”

“Good man, good man. You took control, Hisao. I respect that. You too, guy. I bet you went through a lot of epic shit. We should hang out later. We need to plan our next step. Later dudes.” Kenji rotated on his heels and slammed the door shut behind him. Takeo breathed a sigh of relief and turned to his savior.

“I owe you one. That guy just ambushed me outside my door.” He said with a genuine smile. Hisao pondered for a moment. He wondered if he could find out what this guy was doing here. Kenji and he were the only ones living in their hall. That meant this person was definitely new.

“Don’t mention it. Who are you anyways? Nobody else lived here besides me and Kenji.” He asked. Takeo held out his hand.

“Takeo Kato. I just transferred in.” Hisao took his hand and gave it a firm shake, his inquisitive face staying still.

“Yeah, Hisao Nakai, um…,” Hisao briefly entertained the thought of asking Takeo a straightforward question, but decided against it. If Takeo was anything like him when he first came to Yamaku, he may not be entirely comfortable with whatever was the cause of his admission to the school, “So…do you recognize me?”

Takeo furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side like a curious toddler, “No, am I supposed to? Did I see you in the hall? I accidentally stared at you, didn’t I? Sorry, I’m trying to work on that.”

The rapid fire questions and his sudden nervousness caught Hisao off-guard. For a second, Hisao was reminded of Yuuko before waving his hand, “No, no. Not today, a few days ago. You bumped into someone?”

Takeo scratched the side of his head, shifting his bandages with the constant motion, “Umm…no. Doesn’t ring a bell. Was it at the hospital?”

“No, in the street. You bumped into a girl, she,” Hisao took a deep breath. He didn’t like identifying people by their disabilities, especially not his own girlfriend, but it was the only way for Takeo to remember who he was talking about, “she had burn scars on her face.”

A lull cut between them. Takeo scratched his head again, probably a common reaction for him. Soon enough, his eyes lit up just like Hisao hoped, “Oh…no. Still nothing, sorry.”

“Really? You don’t remember? It was before last weekend,” Hisao said. Takeo’s eyes lit up again, except they were now accompanied by an agape mouth.

“Well there’s the problem. I kinda…don’t remember anything before the weekend. I got a bump on my head from an accident, that’s what the doctors tell me at least. Yeah, everything’s foggy around that time. It’s a wonder I still remember my own name,” Takeo stared down at his deep green jacket and muttered something Hisao couldn’t catch.

“What about your parents? Wouldn’t they bring you up to speed?” Hisao suggested. Takeo’s brown eyes looked up at him, but the rest of him stood still.

“It’d make things easier. But obviously fate has a sworn vendetta against easy. I have no idea where my parents are. Neither does the hospital. They could be on the other side of the country for all I know. Maybe I was on a trip here and this happened,” Takeo pointed at his injury, “I don’t really have a choice in coming here. I’m by myself in some strange part of the world, no idea what happened, and no relatives to speak of. Until I remember, I have to live in this school and go along with whatever goes on here. And on top of all that, I have-“

Takeo stopped and suddenly stared longingly at his room’s door. His sentence was left hanging in the air, leaving Hisao wondering what he was going to say. Takeo’s lips tightened as he grasped the door handle, “I need to go. I’ll…yeah.”

Takeo marched into his room and shut it behind him in less than a second. Leaving Hisao dumbfounded in the hall. Takeo’s mood swung from sociable to solitary at the blink of an eye. Whatever he was fixing to say obviously had a large effect on him.

Hisao shrugged despite being the only person around and went back to his own dorm. The first thing that caught his attention was the letter on his desk that Iwanako sent him long ago. He already decided to not respond. His past wasn’t left in any ambiguity; Iwanako’s letter made sure of that. Despite the times he reminisced about his life before Yamaku, he knew the life he was leading now would be infinitely better than the one before. He had a future, he had reliable friends, and he had a love life; three things that he held dear.

From the letter, Hisao’s gaze fell on his textbook. He wasn’t lying when he said he had a lot of homework to do. With a reluctant step, Hisao stopped at his desk and flipped the textbook open. He had a long night ahead of him.

Takeo stared at the suitcase at the foot of his bed, then at the bottles of medication sitting on his nightstand. In total, there were about five plastic containers sitting next to a neat stack of textbooks ranging from math to history. Takeo grimaced. He hadn’t thought about the actual educational aspect of the school. His hand reached out to the book on the top of the stack.

Mathematical Theory and Applications

“I don’t think I remember a shred of math,” Takeo muttered to himself. Regardless, he popped open the book and scanned through it, hoping to find anything that struck a chord in his mind.

“Tan A minus B equals Tan A minus Tan B divided by one plus Tan A times Tan B.”

“Yeah, I’m done for.”

Takeo tossed book aside and fell backwards on his bed. Somehow he got the feeling that math wasn’t his forte even before he lost his memory. His entire vision filled with the beige ceiling. His mind wandered back to his conversation with Hisao. He seemed like a well-rounded person; or at the very least, he wasn’t as insane as his next door neighbor. However, he didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking about his disorder with him when he almost blurted it out. It was a personal thing he had to deal with, as was his memory crisis. Takeo had told Hisao more than enough about his problems; he didn’t need to know his entire life story.

“Funny, considering I wouldn’t be able to remember it anyways,” Takeo joked aloud. Thinking back, he probably could have explained his reluctance to explain his disability, but there was no changing it now.

Takeo peered through the window in front of his bed. It showed a perfect view of the woods near the school. The lush canopy seemed to cover the ground in a sea of green, leaving only the sky out of its clutches. Takeo allowed himself to snicker when he glanced around the room. In a way it reminded him of his life, empty with not a lot going on and the shelves missing things that would fulfill their purpose.

“Guess I’ll be joking about my situation from now on.” Takeo said. He re-oriented himself so that he lay along the length of the bed and closed his eyes. Night was still hours away but he was content to just sit in his room and wait out the rest of the day. The suitcase called to his attention from its spot on the bed. With a grimace, Takeo sat up and opened it, revealing a combination of school uniforms and basic living necessities. Whatever belongings that he had on him before his accident were also inside.

Among the folded and pressed articles of clothing were a set of casual clothes. He didn’t recognize it, but the doctors told him it was the clothes he was wearing before he had his incident. Takeo reached inside and pulled out a clean black zip up hoodie. It looked worn and faded, but Takeo drew some kind of comfort from it. He ran his fingers along the soft cotton fibers, eventually coming to rest inside the pockets. He grazed a smooth, leathery object and pulled it out.

“Huh, wallet. Well at least I have that going for me.”

Takeo opened up the flaps and found a pair of folded bills. He pulled them out and stared at the twin notes.

“Two thousand yen. Better than nothing.”

Putting the money back in its rightful place, Takeo continued to rummage through his wallet’s contents. A small, optimistic part of him hoped to find something that could jog his memory.

A soft crinkle interrupted the silence of the room. It felt like paper.

Takeo pulled out the object and unfolded it. He stared at the item in his hand, losing all sense of time. His hand trembled slightly as he stared at a picture of him and a young boy. Both of them were smiling and looked like they were in a carnival of sorts. Takeo kept a hand on the young boy’s head, ruffling his hair. The picture practically radiated happiness, but Takeo only felt unease. He couldn’t remember who the boy was, but for some reason, he didn’t want to look at him anymore. He folded up the paper and tossed it at his night stand, coming to rest near his medication.

Not a word left his mouth. Not a sound entered his room. It stayed that way until Takeo fell asleep with his head leaning against the wall, facing the silver moon that hung motionless in the deep, dark night.
Last edited by JustAFerret on Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Lost In The Fire » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:51 am

At first you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. Great job.
Some one-shots.
He Didn't Listen - Hanako Bad End
Observations - OC POV

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:06 am

I believe that until you regain your memory, we won’t be able to find any concrete evidence about your life before your accident.
A boy of about 18 years going missing, and nobody reported him missing? No local papers reporting about the mysterious amnesiac boy who turned up in an accident? I hope you thought about a good explanation for that...
“Unfortunately it is,” The man said softly, “you have a variation of Auto-Immune disease.
Especially someone with such a rare condition. There should be medical records about him, likely in the same local hospital he was treated for his injuries...
Though it might be an explanation why his parents didn't report him missing. Maybe they were just glad he was gone from their lives.
“That’s the spirit. You’ll fit in class 3-6 like a glove.”
Minor nitpick: There are only four classes, 3-1 through 3-4. 3-1 is for deaf students, 3-2 for the blind, so if you don't want to put him in class 3-3 he will be with Emi and Rin in class 3-4.
Hisao took a deep breath of fresh air. Fall was rapidly approaching.
Did you do a time skip to after the summer holidays somewhere? Lilly would be gone by that time.
“Tan A minus B equals Tan A minus Tan B divided by one plus Tan A times Tan B.”
Is that supposed to make sense? Because I don't think it does...
On the technical side, since you're writing past tense, remember to use "would" instead of "will."

Interesting chapter. I'm certainly looking forward to see what else you have in store for us.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by Machoman » Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:46 am

Good so far

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by sanduba » Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:25 pm

If this was already finished, I don't think I would read it. But since you're still writing it, I feel like I have to follow you until you finish it lol

The story is good so far, keep it up.
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:51 pm

The one piece or advice I would offer (besides what mirage said) would be to add a index at the top that links to each chapter to make it easier as the story gets longer. Also Mirage he could be on a trip far from his home and that's why they couldn't figure out who he is. It's only a guess but that's my theory.

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Re: Can You Confront the Past? - Post-Hanako Good Ending

Post by JustAFerret » Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:12 pm

A boy of about 18 years going missing, and nobody reported him missing? No local papers reporting about the mysterious amnesiac boy who turned up in an accident? I hope you thought about a good explanation for that...
Oh yes. Everything is going according to plan. If these forums had a face that twirled a mustache, I'd be using that right now.

Aside from that, next chapter still has some hoops to go through, but I'll post it relatively soon.

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