One more down, four to go!
Quarantine has given me some free time, along with actually being sick for the last few days. Hoping my fever breaks soon - it hasn't been a fun time, to say the least. Hopefully it's nothing more serious, but hey, gotta do what you gotta do and hope for the best with the way the world is right now.
This chapter clocks in at a little over 8200 words. After posting it, I'm going to go back and do one more final editing pass on the whole story fixing up broken links, moving pictures to different servers so they'll hopefully stay up this time, and fixing inconsistencies and errors that I noticed but haven't gotten around to fixing. 260k words can be a lot to keep track of.
Thank you guys for all the feedback, constructive criticism, and support you all continue to give. It makes me really happy and gives me the confidence to push forward to the end of this behemoth.
The title for this chapter comes from the song
"Antigravity" by Starset.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and you're all staying safe, however you're all riding out this storm.
Act 4: Liftoff
Scene 9: Antigravity
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
Saki fidgets with the head of her cane. “I’m...I’m a little scared.”
I place a hand over hers and give a reassuring squeeze, not saying anything. I could tell her things will be fine, or that they’ll all work out somehow, but anything I say would sound contrived. All I can do is acknowledge her fear.
Noriko surprises both of us by putting her hand on ours. “Whatever happens, we’re here.”
Saki nods a bit, still clearly nervous. She seemed to be just fine this morning when we woke up, but after we both got dressed and actually made our way down to the bus stop at the bottom of the hill, it was pretty clear that it was more of a facade than she was letting on. When Noriko met us at the station, things seemed to pick up again, but that was short lived; the closer we get to noon, the more anxious she becomes. She’s been checking her watch every few minutes for the last half hour
All I can do is what I’ve been doing; let her know I’m there for support.
“Besides, we get to eat ramen afterwards!” her friend says, bright and chipper as ever. It’s enough to make Saki laugh, and when she settles down, she’s able to let go of a bit of her tension.
We pass the final few minutes in silence until the numbered train we’re waiting for pulls up to the platform. There’s a large squeal and a hissing noise as it comes to a stop, and an electronic buzzer announces the doors automatically opening. I stand up so I can get a better view, looking down along the length of the platform to see if I can recognize Chisato in the waves of people stepping down onto the concrete.
It doesn’t take long to spot her, two doors down the platform. She pauses, looking first the other direction, then our way. I raise my hand and lift up onto my toes to try and get her attention, and it works. I see her smile a bit before pulling her backpack a bit higher onto her shoulders and starting to walk towards us.
“Hey Chisato,” I say by way of greeting when she reaches us. She puts her arms around me and gives me a large hug.
“It’s good to see you, Hisao. You’re looking pretty good for someone that just had a machine put in his body.”
“You too, except the machine part,” I answer her, and I genuinely mean it.
I step aside so Noriko can give her a hug and exchange similar pleasantries, and then it’s Saki’s turn. She’s standing with the rest of us, holding back a bit. The two of them stop about a meter apart from each other.
“H...hey,” Saki says, trying to give a smile that doesn’t quite match the fear in her eyes.
The two of them hold their gaze for a few heartbeats, then both go in for a timid embrace. I can tell Saki wants nothing more than to hug her friend earnestly, but neither of them do. It’s stiff and awkward, but it’s there.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Chisato says.
Noriko and I cast a quick glance at each other, both of us letting out the breaths we didn’t know we were holding.
“Chisato, I’m sorry-” Saki starts, but is immediately cut off.
“Don’t. Not right now. Later,” Chisato says, her tone turning a few degrees cooler.
Saki dips her chin, and doesn’t say anything else.
“Got everything you need for tomorrow night?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
“Most of it. All my stuff is still back in the dorms, so the only things in my backpack are the clothes I took home with me. I need to grab something else while we’re here today though."
“What’s that? Noriko asks.
“I couldn’t find a tie I liked for my outfit tomorrow. I’m hoping that I can find one down here that works.”
“You could just borrow one of mine if you want,” I frown.
Chisato shakes her head. “Nah, that won’t work. I need a striped one to go with the vest and pants.”
The four of us start walking the few blocks to the plaza, Noriko and Chisato in front, and Saki and myself bringing up the rear. Her hand grips mine, but there’s not the usual strength there - her entire body and spirit seems to be subdued, and her eyes tend to remain focused on the ground in front of her. We make various efforts at small talk for the ten minute journey, some more successful than others.
When we finally reach the open city center, all of us slowly drift to a stop, the tension settling over all of us again as we seem to run out of things to say. The silence doesn’t last long, however.
Chisato takes a deep breath and looks around. “So, Saki. Where are we doing this?”
“N...Nagina has free refills on coffee,” Saki answers timidly, trying to make an attempt at humor. It chips away at Chisato’s exterior though, and I see the other girl smirk.
“Okay.”
I look again at Noriko, both of us agreeing beforehand about this.
“We’ll catch up with you later, then?” I ask.
“We’ll text you when you’re done,” Chisato says.
“Okay then.”
Saki glances at me one last time, an optimistic yet pained look on her face. She returns my brief wave, and the lines of her mouth settle into a hard line for a fraction of a second. Without another word, both her and Chisato turn away from us and make their way across the plaza to the cafe. Noriko and I watch Chisato hold open the door for Saki, and the two of them are gone.
Well, for better or for worse, one way or another, the two of them are talking. All the rest of us can do is simply wait to see what happens.
“I could use some caffeine myself,” I tell Noriko.
“There’s another cafe right around the corner,” she says. “I haven’t tried their coffee, but their tea is good.”
------------
Twenty minutes later, we’re seated at an outdoor table, the waitress bringing both of us a refill. Once she leaves, I take a sip and my mouth puckers a bit.
“Nope, I’m sure of it now. This coffee isn’t as good as the stuff at Nagina. Good thing the two of us are here instead of them.”
Noriko fidgets a bit as she takes a sip of her tea. “Maybe it’s for the best, then.”
I look back in the general direction of the plaza, even though I won’t even be able to see the restaurant where the two of them are. “I’m worried. I know they’ve been talking, but Chisato seemed a little..cold.”
“I don’t think I blame her. She’s hurt. They both are.”
I nod, but I’m not nearly as assured as she is. “After the fight the two of them had in the dean’s office that day...it was pretty bad.”
The conversation we had the last few minutes was fairly easy and inconsequential, but like Saki and Chisato, eventually we knew we’d circle around to this topic.
“Saki kind of told me, well...everything...earlier this week when I was staying over.”
I stare down at my own cup, the dark liquid reflecting the impassive look on my face. “She did, huh…”
Her voice is timid, yet doesn’t waver. “It’s been really hard for her since she’s been back. She kept telling me how much she missed you.”
I sigh. “Trust me, the feeling was mutual.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think it was worth it?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, following her eyes to my chest. “The pacemaker?”
“Yeah,” she says. “You didn’t have to do it. You could have stayed up here, or at least come back a lot sooner and spent time with us.”
“I could have, but everyone left after Christmas, so...I’m here
now, and that’s what matters to me.”
“I don’t know if I could ever ask a doctor to push up surgery...just the thought of any kind of surgery scares me…”
Noriko’s voice falters a bit when she mentions this, and she immediately looks apologetic.
“I’m sorry. That came out as really insensitive-”
“-not at all,” I say, cutting her off. “Why would you think that?”
She hesitates for a second, clearly uncomfortable, but answers. “I’m here talking about how much surgery, and medical stuff scares me...when people like you and Saki and others don’t have a choice. It makes me feel like a hypocrite and coward.”
I drum my fingers on the table, trying to think of a response. “Being scared doesn’t mean that you’re a coward. It just means you’re scared. There’s a difference.” I shrug. “I mean, I talked myself into it. There were reasons for it. But no matter how much you convince yourself, it’s still scary.”
“Still hypocritical, though.”
I grin. “Only a little. But seriously, it’s okay. You never did wrong by me.”
She nods and smiles, even if I can tell she’s not entirely convinced. “I can’t believe we graduate in two days. It didn’t feel real until the first rehearsal yesterday.”
“I know what you mean. I feel like I couldn’t wait to get here and now that I am, it’s like I missed something along the way,” I muse.
Noriko goes to take another sip of her coffee, then pauses. “I feel the same way. It’s...weird.”
“How so?”
“I guess I didn’t expect to really
feel this way about it. Yamaku. I didn’t really like coming here, when I first started.”
I chuckle a bit. “I’m pretty sure we
all felt the same way, Noriko.”
She shakes her head. “No, not because of that, but...sorry, there’s no way I can say this without it sounding bad,” she grimaces. “I was normal.”
I try to brush off the mood with humor. “What counts as normal, anyway?” When she shoots me a look, I can tell I missed the mark.
“You know what I mean, Hisao.”
I nod. “Yeah, I do, sorry. So by being normal, you’re the only one who wasn’t?”
Noriko sighs, lost in the memories of those first months. “I guess...normal is what you’re used to. There were a few people that were kind, but none of them were really friendly. Not until I met Saki and Chisato.”
“They must have cared,” I say with a smile.
She shakes her head. “They didn’t, that was the thing...and that’s what I needed,” she finishes, returning it.
I look again down the street, trying not to let my anxiety show but pretty sure I do a poor job. “How do you think they’re doing? You’ve known them longer than I have.”
(...continued...)