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I'm getting a full body massage by my naked crippled harem when a knock at my door erased the greatest dream I've ever had. Dammit. Somebody better be fucking dead or something.

I yanked open the door, nearly off its hinges, and screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

I pause for a minute and remember the other thought I had before opening the door, "SOMEBODY BETTER BE FUCKING DEAD!" I grunted in satisfaction for adding that.

There stood Misha, nearly jumping backwards from my introduction. "Eep!" Her arms instinctively recoil to her chest, one leg up, head leaning away. I would say it's rather cute, if not for my anger over the spoiling of my wonderful dream.

"Hicchan, you scared me!"

I sigh to alleviate my boiling blood, "Well, what is it, Misha?"

"Hicchan, you know today is Shizune's birthday, right~? Right, so we're having a costumed party tonight and I'm inviting you~!"

"Why a costume party? It's not Halloween."

"Because it's fun, Hicchan~!"

I raise an eyebrow. I've been largely ignored by her and Shizune ever since I turned down joining the student council. By screaming that I don't want a blowjob from them at the top of my lungs during class. They mysteriously stopped bugging me about the council after that for some reason.

"What's the catch? "

"There's no catch, Hicchan~!"

I leaned in closer, "Really?"

She's a terrible liar. "Well ... I don't want it to be a disaster like last year. We had about 30 girls and only a couple of boys and everyone was bored. So this year I want to make sure there are a lot of boys~!"

"Uh huh. Well, I don't don't want to be the only guy, so who else did you invite?"

She blushes. "Well ... I was hoping you'd get a lot of boys from this dorm to go to the party."

I arch one eyebrow again. "And there will be girls there?"

She enthusiastic nod her head, "Yup, yup, lots of girls~!"

I think it over for a moment. I have no plans for tonight. There will be young, nubile, desperate for cock bitches. Okay, I'm in. Misha was ecstatic and reminded me that it's a costume party, and give me the address.

I bang on Kenji's door.

"THIS IS THE POLICE, WE KNOW YOU'VE HIDDEN THE BODIES IN THE CRAWLSPACE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

I hear the sound of the disabling of way too many locks. Kenji comes out and yawns, "Dammit, Hisao, I was having a good dream."

"Did it involve a harem of hot naked cripple girls giving you a sensual full body massage?"

"What? No! It was the zombie apocalypse and I was mowing those motherfuckers down with my sub-machine guns."



eff iff allf

Words fail me.

Light and fluffy. Humorous. Um... that's all I can say, really.

...

That is all I can say, for this... This was your namesake, right here. When people ask you why you have the username that you do, you just point to this fic and go "that's why, bitches."

Hoitash wrote:...

That is all I can say, for this... This was your namesake, right here. When people ask you why you have the username that you do, you just point to this fic and go "that's why, bitches."

haha, this was just one of those things where I click POST NEW TOPIC smash on the keyboard for 5-10 minutes, then go "WTF did I just write?"

lolawesome wrote:haha, this was just one of those things where I click POST NEW TOPIC smash on the keyboard for 5-10 minutes, then go "WTF did I just write?"

it shows.

nemz wrote:

lolawesome wrote:haha, this was just one of those things where I click POST NEW TOPIC smash on the keyboard for 5-10 minutes, then go "WTF did I just write?"

it shows.

Yeah, all my stories are written impulsively and spontaneously I guess. As such I know it's filled with warts, moles, freckles, scars, lesions etc - and I'm fine with that.I'll never be a writer who plots and plan a story, write a pre-draft, rough draft, rewrite, tune, fine tune, do it all again, to final perfection. I do not have the patience, skill, or desire for that.

o.o....

I meant it shows in THIS story. Usually you do quite a bit better, but this was just randomness.

This story was very ... written in English. From the minute I started reading this, I continued reading until I stopped.

looking pretty bromont there.