Wetterl wrote:Can't you people decide what you want?
It seems to me that the suggestions have been entirely consistent:
Either ALL thoughts are italics or none of it should be (preferably the latter).
Doublespace between paragraphs.
Start a new paragraph when changing speakers.
Use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.
I've posted this on some other locations too, and they've had different thoughts on how to write, but I'll stick to what this forum wants me to.
About the italics: I've used italics as a kind of thought that he doesn't "control", the kind of thoughts that just show up in your head and you can't get them away. (This was slightly misused on my part in earlier chapters, where I thought I'd use it in another way) It's supposed to be used more like an inner confrontation between his mind and his heart, so to say. Could get rid of it if people really want to, though.
Doublespacing will begin with tomorrows chapter.
I'm pretty sure I've started new paragraphs with every new speaker so far.
Proper grammar is something I really hope I've had, can't really change much if that isn't the case, though.
Elcor wrote:I love Lilly, just like the other girls but in this...I'm finding it hard too.
I can't help but see Emi having it out with Lilly in someway.
It just seemed like Lilly to try to blame it on other people when it actually comes to something that really hurts her, therefor she put the blame on Hisao even if she didn't want to. Of course, Hisao's pretty much the opposite and instead sees the problem as himself to begin with, which just makes it worse when Lilly puts blame on him, even if she doesn't mean it.
...So yeah, Lilly's basically a douche.
Sorry that I haven't posted in a few days, but I've had it quite stressful lately, there's been quite a lot going on. Well, I can now say that I am a few chapters ahead if I were to stick by a one chapter per day schedule, which I will try to. Enjoy!
Chapter Seven - Thinking of Falling
Walking into Nurse's office he turns to me and shows his trademark smile.
”Hisao! I wasn't sure you'd be able to get up and run another time!”
”Well, there was this girl who forced me into it...” Emi hits me in my back once I've said it. She closes the door behind me.
Like he usually does, he checks my heartbeat from different angles. The stethoscope is as cold as ever, but I ignore it. There's not much I can do about it.
As I put my shirt on he turns to his desk and grabs two papers. He turns to me.
”Here's a dietary and and exercise plan that should fit with the capabilities of your body.” He hands me the papers and I take a quick peek. Extremely healthy.
”You seem to care about my health quite a bit,” I say as I read through the papers.
”Actually, you should thank Miss Ibarazaki about that. I just gave a few quick changes so you wouldn't have another heart attack.”
Emi? She did this for me?
”Then I guess I should thank her...” I say, without much of a thought. Nurse laughs at this statement.
”You should! Now get out of here, we can't take all day.”
I exit the door to see Emi sitting on a bench. She turns to me and gives off that smile of hers that can brighten up anybody.
”Don't worry, you'll be attracted to girls again one day!” I hear from behind me. Emi sticks her tongue out, and I assume that Nurse notices since he starts laughing again. As Emi stands up and walks towards the door I turn to her.
“Emi...” What was I going to say? I'm not the spontaneous type, I should have realised that by now. She turns to me with a curious look.
“It's just... Thanks, I guess.” She gives off her trademark giggle.
“No problem.” That smile of hers returns as she runs into Nurse's office and closes the door behind her. Probably not intentionally, but the sound of the door could probably be heard throughout the entire school. Not that there would be people here to hear it.
With nothing else to do I decide to head down to town. I have to buy some things, anyway. Unless I were to want to eat the “food” served in the cafeteria, that is.
Walking down the road memories flood my mind. The first time Lilly and I walked down this road when Hanako had lost track of time in the library. She needed help and I was there. Maybe I wasn't as useless as I felt, but I know that Lilly wouldn't depend on me the way I depended on her. The way I still am depending on her.
She called me... What is she trying to achieve? Does she want me to feel better? Does she feel better if I feel bad?
Whatever it is that she wants, I'll help her, whether I choose to or not. I know myself enough to know that I will do what she wants me to. Is that what love is? Willingly letting someone control you like a puppet? If it is, I'd prefer not to be in love. But that's not up for me to decide anymore, is it?
I decide to let those thoughts pass and instead just focus on the task at hand. As I enter AuraMart I find myself grabbing two baskets. I put one of them back as I walk into the store itself, instinctively whispering out the names of products I pass. I try to stay silent, but a small whisper still escapes my lips.
Walking at the speed Lilly's gotten me used to is quite annoying, so I speed up slightly. I grab things that can be cooked in a manner of minutes, since I don't feel like pushing my luck and ruining something that could have been nice, when considering that even though I've been used to cooking for myself for years I've never really done anything big.
I load up the contents of my basket and the cashier scans them. Two plastic bags join the rest of my groceries before I pay, load up today's catch and head back to the school.
After unpacking the grocery bags I find myself without anything to do, so I lie down on my bed. Is there anything I can do now that would make it all better? No. How should I have acted? What should I have done?
I don't need these thoughts right now. Please, stay quiet. You should help her. She needs you, and you need her. You're not complete without each other.
Since when did my thoughts start speaking about me in second person?
To try and avoid this inner discussion between myself and nobody I sit up. Doesn't seem to help, since my thoughts continue. You're a nothing, a loser. The only thing that made you feel better was Lilly, and now she's gone. You can't go on now, can you? It would be so much easier to just fall down and stop everything. Why not do that? Just let it all away, just stop it all. It's so much easier.
Stop being depressed, Hisao. You can do this.
And now my inner self is starting to influence the thoughts I actually think for myself. Great.
I'm not going to let it all go this easy, I need to get going, to start everything over without Lilly. Might not be the easiest thing for me to do, but it's something I'll have to do if I really want to continue with my life. Even if I'm still in love with her it's not something that would last even if I was able to make her stay. If she got that close to leaving once, what's stopping it from happening a second time?
And I don't need Lilly. I have Hanako and Emi there to help me, even if Hanako does so without even noticing. Hanako pushed me forward and Emi helped me up when I fell, both literally and figuratively. Even if I can't go through by myself there are more people around me to help than I make it look like!
…
Why am I pushing this so hard? Trying to hate Lilly... I guess this is what a breakup's really like. It hurts to actually think of it, but I need Lilly as much as I did before, even if we're separated and not even a couple anymore. Why must it be this hard?!
I throw myself out of bed and start walking around, annoyed by my own thoughts.
I can do this, I can push myself through, and even if I can't do this alone I do have Hanako and Emi helping me forward. Get away from the past and live in the moment, try to make the future brighter. Live like yesterday never happened and tomorrow won't come! But that's not how life works. No, it's far from that easy. What happened yesterday comes back to bite you in the ass while tomorrow's horrors tower in front of you, making you wish that it had all ended before it even started, like some kind of inverted story.
I feel my eyes watering, and I feel how the flows of tears leave my eyes to run down my cheeks before finally leaving my face, for most to just fall onto my shirt and lose all memory of their presence. Nobody's following through with the only reason they exist, not even daring to change their path and rebel up against their existence. A lot like myself.
A person cries and feels like a useless nonexistence while their tears are running down their cheeks without reason to all fall to their doom the moment they leave the person's face. I don't want to be that, someone who just follows whatever it is that has been planned for him. I can take control of my own life, and if that life involves a lack of Lilly I'll have to take that recipe and turn it into something better. Love isn't all to life, far from it.
Thinking this I still can't stop feeling so low about myself. Love's nothing but a chemical in your brain, but it feels like so much more. I'll go through with this template, and I'll try to make the best of it, knowing that pain might be around the corner. I do know that I still love Lilly, and that it'll take time for the wounds to be healed.
I know this, I know of the scars they'll leave, and I'll go through. Because that's what life is: Going from one event to the next, only armed with the experience of the earlier. Learning to walk is hard, but once you've it's in your head you can do it whenever you want.
Pain is there, it always has been, always will be, but that's just a part of life. You have to risk the chance, hope that you win this gamble and can be happy, knowing that if you lose it'll hurt. Sometimes the risk is worth the reward, sometimes it isn't, but you'll go through anyways, because that's just how it works. If you feel better with someone you'll spend time with them, but sometimes they'll have to leave, and maybe they won't come back, that's as easy as it is.
Even though I'm saying this it hurts not having Lilly here, but I guess that's just how it is. That's what life is.
I lie down on my bed again, this time entirely empty and without thoughts. That's a relief.
Chapter Eight - Lost Again
The days pass and I continue feeling depressed. The runs take a lot off of my mind, though, and I can actually feel how it's getting better. I guess that's what Emi does to people, give them a smile on their face. She's just that kind of person.
Lilly hasn't called, but I'm not really sure what I'd do if she did. I'm not even sure what I feel right now. It's likely that it would end up with me blaming myself again, so it's probably for the better. Just being able to think that makes me feel good.
Today is Sunday; the day I take off to leave Yamaku for a few days. It feels slightly off to visit a girl like that just a week after my girlfriend's left, but Emi and I are no more than friends, and all she wants is for me to feel better. I thank her a lot for that, even if she doesn't want to accept my thanks. I think that she sees potential in everybody and just thinks of it as showing them what they really can. Maybe that's what it really is, but she still deserves a lot.
I look up to check the time from the clock. Quarter past ten. Just above three hours until departure. My eyes wander down the fall to fall on the phone on my desk and once again think of calling Lilly. The thought scares me. After our last conversation I felt even worse, and I don't want to feel like that again. Emi would probably kill me. I try to tell myself that she's sleeping and I would wake her up, even though I know that that's not part of the reason at all. I'm scared of facing my past, that's it. I'm scared of facing the thoughts that she brings to my mind.
Three hours. What should I do in three hours? Emi specifically told me to save myself up and not eat anything, since there was supposedly a meal to be ready for us once we arrived. “...enough food to feed the country for a year!” is an exact quote from Emi. I wonder how Rin would react to that. It would be worth hearing, that's pretty sure.
Suddenly I hear a familiar beep from my phone. A text message.
“Please not Lilly please not Lilly please not Lilly” are the only thoughts I can find in my mind. I look back at the phone, relieved when I find the name on the screen as Hanako. I have nearly forgot about Hanako these last days, with all this “living in the moment” I've been forcing upon myself. I get up from the bed I've been sitting on for quite a while and head for the desk.
Grabbing my phone, I press the button to open the message. Included seems to be a picture, which I look at first. It's a picture of Hanako and Naomi on some train, which seems to stand still in the middle of nowhere. Through the window you can see a grassy field and in the distance there appears to be a lake. It's quite a beautiful picture, even not considering the two girls. Naomi's eyes are closed and her face gives off a bright smile. Hanako's smile is not as big as her companion's, but it's clearly visible. From this angle you can't see her scar at all, which I presume is something she made sure of. They probably asked a fellow passenger to take the picture, since it's clearly not taken by the two on the picture.
I press the back-button to go back to the text.
“Hope you're having a good time, I know we are. See you in a week. /Hanako”
The message doesn't sound like something written by Hanako, but then again, what does? I read through the message a few times before looking at the picture again. I wonder how jealous that picture might make Natsume; a girl besides herself sitting next to Naomi, together for two weeks without anybody else. The thought makes me chuckle.
I decide not to send anything back, since I don't really have anything to say at this time. Mentioning that I'm staying at Emi's house could be taken in a way that it's not supposed to, and I don't feel like trying to explain it to Hanako. It would be pretty meaningless to explain it to her anyway, since there's no reason for her to know.
Extremely bored, I put the phone into my pocket after deciding to go for a walk. I don't really have anywhere special to go, but I guess checking to see if I can find Emi would be an idea. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't find anyone around here anyway, and even if I did I don't really know anyone.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump.
Emi running along the track is quite an amazing sight. Her body moves like it's a wind following the lines of the track, knowing exactly where to go. It's her face that really shows her love for running, though: She seems to have lost all thought and just run because it's what she knows the best to do and it's like nothing else could give her that emotion. It's like this is where she's really herself.
She notices me and gives me a wide grin. I return a small smile, which seems to be enough of me, according to her. She speeds of at the track again and I continue watching this amazing sight. Like an eagle gliding through the air towards it's prey without the prey. As she seems to have finished the main part she slows down and continues at a much slower pace to cool down. She turns around and starts running backwards, looking at me the entire time. We share a small laugh and she goes faster. And faster. I'm surprised that she can actually keep this speed going backwards, but I guess nothing's really strange when it comes to Emi. She seems to have reached her max speed and gives me a grin that looks more like a challenge than anything else. Of course I don't dare take it.
And then it all goes wrong. A twig that seems to have blown up on the track with the wind is stepped upon by her left leg, and flies up in the open space of the right one. The sudden change makes her right leg move in a slight angle, which combined with the lost balance from stepping on the twig causes her to fly backwards in the air in a fall.
I start sprinting towards her as she gives away a shriek. All the power in my body is put into my legs and I run faster than I have ever done before, and probably faster than I ever will. Mere seconds after she's fallen I'm there beside her, on my knees. I out my arm under her back and push her up up slightly.
“Are you okay?!” My words come out as shouts, but that's not something to care about right now.
“I... I think I'm fine. Just a scra-” Her mouth stops moving as her eyes get stuck on something. I turn to see whatever it is that she is seeing.
Her leg. It's bent.
It appears as if her left leg took all the force of the fall, resulting in it bending. It's not a pretty sight, Emi's leg in that state, but I guess it's better than if it had happened on her hand or something else that actually contained bones.
“M-my l-l-leg...” She seems to be in shock from seeing her leg. I guess it would make sense, it's sort of like losing a leg for the second time for her. I turn back to her face and I can see something in her, something that I'm pretty sure I've never seen before. The look of someone who lost it all for the second time.
I realise that she can't walk like this. I have to carry her. As I put my left arm further behind her back and my right arm under her knees she snaps out.
“You don't have to! I can walk! I promise!” I ignore her, even if it will result in her pouting at me. Sometimes you have to take the consequences.
Being quite light, it's easy to lift her. She can't weigh much more than 90 lbs. Her complaints die off as she realises it's useless. She does hit me on the arm once, though. I walk towards the nurse's office, carrying Emi. It would probably look really idiotic to anyone watching, but the school's still pretty much empty. I feel a slight pain building in my arms, but I guess that's what happens when you're in the shape I am.
As we come up to the nurse's building I let Emi open the door, since it's a lot easier for her. A few minutes later we are in front of the door with the big, fat letters spelling out NURSE. Emi knocks on the door, and soon it is opened to show the purple-haired man I have come to know as Nurse. He takes a quick look at us.
“Oh, another couple who wish to have my blessing?” His trademark smile fades away when he sees Emi's leg. He immediately moves into the room and I follow. I put Emi down on a chair and continue standing next to her. Nurse kneels and inspects the leg.
“What happened?” he asks.
“She fell,” I answer.
“I fell,” Emi continues. Nurse continues to remove and inspect the leg for a minute or two.
“You didn't get hurt anywhere else?” he finally asks, standing up and looking directly at Emi with his worried face. His worried face looks a lot like most people's angry face, which I presume would put most people off.
“Just some bruises, nothing important,” she answers, still with her own worried look. Nurse looks at the metal piece in his hand.
“Well, you're not using this leg again. I could get the school to fund a new pair, due-” He's interrupted by Emi.
“No, I'm paying. I wouldn't want money to be spent on me because of something that's my own fault.”
“I would say it's more my fault.” Nurse turns to me as I say this, probably having forgotten I was in there to begin with. Emi turns to me with a smile I wish I could tell was fake, but all Emi's smiles look as natural as the others.
“Don't be silly, I was the one running backwards outdoors. I should have known something like this would happen.”
“Well, whoever caused this doesn't matter now. All I can say is that if you want to keep running you're going to have to get a new pair. You're lucky it didn't press up and hurt you, then you'd be in a wheelchair for weeks.” Finally, Nurse's trademark smile returns. “It could easily be taken in another way if you were to go carrying each other around like that, so I'm suggesting you borrow a wheelchair. Unless that's the case, of course.” Emi hits Nurse and points her tongue at him. His smile goes wider as he walks into one of the rooms connected to the office and rolls out a wheelchair. He puts it next to Emi who pushes herself over into it. We get out of the office after saying goodbye and start heading back to the dorm. During the conversation, Emi seems to have taken off her right leg, too.
We walk (well, roll in her case) back towards the dorm building, but we have to take an extreme detour to be able to get there since the dorms are blocked by stairs and Emi won't let herself get helped moving again. I take out my cellphone from my pocket and see that we're leaving in two hours. I tell Emi this and she smiles. I think these next few days are going to be quite enjoyable.
Energy return running prosthetic like the Cheetah are made of carbon fiber and titanium. Still love the story and anyone that doesn't have a degree in prosthetics probably wouldn't notice this fact so take it for what you will.
YOTC wrote:Energy return running prosthetic like the Cheetah are made of carbon fiber and titanium. Still love the story and anyone that doesn't have a degree in prosthetics probably wouldn't notice this fact so take it for what you will.
Did not know that! Although it's too late to change it now unless I want to rewrite several chapters, so I'll stick with it as it is.
