H23 - Waterfall

[cpl_crud]

H23 – Waterfall

"The hours from my late night reverie to now pass as quickly as the past few days."

"It's almost like I arrived here before throwing my phone across the floor."

"My hectic pace of the last few days has scattered my memories beyond any recognition."

"Or maybe it was my restless sleep last night."

"Who knows?"

"Either way, I think I can feel some degree of clarity this morning."

"Maybe it's the slightly cooler weather."

"I lazily get dressed, and open my drawer full of drugs."

hi "Actually…"

"If the befuddlement of the last week has had something to do with these pills, maybe I should lay off them a little."

"I'll be seeing the nurse first thing tomorrow anyway."

"My medication changed almost daily at the hospital, so one day won't make a difference."

"I want to be there for Hanako, and I'm not sure if I can do that with my mind fluttering like a torn flag in a gale."

"I close the drawer, leaving its contents intact."

"Ten minutes before the appointed hour, eleven am, I arrive at the school's main gate."

"Why Lilly wanted me to meet them here I do not know."

"Perhaps she was concerned that Hanako and I had made enough public passes of the gardens, and was trying to kerb the tide of the rumours surrounding us."

"Such trivialities evaporate when I see the girls approach."

"Hanako, dazzling in her light yellow dress, and Lilly in a matching dress in pastel green."

"Such sights are a delight to the senses, and just what I needed on this fine morning."

hi "'morning Hanako, Lilly. You're both looking dazzling today."

#Hanako bashful smile, Lilly motherly smile

ha "T…thanks."

li "You are ever the gentleman, Hisao."

li "And now it is time for you to escort your lady."

"Lilly give Hanako ever the slightest nudge forward, and she stumbles towards me."

hi "M'lady, may I have the pleasure of escorting you?"

"Hanako flounders, but smiles gently and takes my proffered arm."

hi "Lilly, do you require an arm, or shall you be right?"

li "As much as I would like to leave you both to your own devices, I would greatly appreciate the help."

"Lilly reaches out into the void with her free hand, and I guide her to my side."

"As we make our way forward, her cane sweeps out delicate arcs barely a foot ahead of us, yet she manages to walk with a dignified grace."

"Hanako, on the other hand, has wrapped her fingers between mine, and hides her bad side against me."

"I feel her warmth, and her fragility, as if they were my own."

"The road to the café is all but deserted."

"And with good reason, too."

"Whilst this morning was abnormally cool, the day is heating up, rapidly."

"You'd be safe to say that this was shaping up to be the hottest day this summer."

"The black of the tarmac is distorted in the distance as the heat haze rises to the sky."

"I can tell the girls are starting to feel it to."

"I feel a slick of sweat forms between our intertwined limbs, at once sticky yet lubricated."

"But it's too late now for us to complain."

"As competent as Lilly is with her cane, she is much faster with a guide."

"I doubt Hanako wants to let go, and truthfully I don't want to let go of her either."

"So we suffer in silence, knowing that the ordeal will be over once we reach the air conditioned confines of the Shanghai."

#I feel like putting in a countdown of some kind. I'm revving over this.

"Cicadas and songbirds fill the air with their song, and I feel slightly more aware of the formations of clouds that are streaking the sky in great roads."

"Scents waft into my nose; the sweet smell of a patch of carnations, the building humidity, and the differing, yet somehow exciting, perfumes that the girls are wearing."

"It's like someone has turned the dial on my sensory perception up to 12."

"I am tempted to start licking the air to see if I can taste colours or something of the sort, but we arrive at our destination."

#Do I know if this is usual behaviour before a heart attack? Do I care? No and No.

"As always, the Shanghai café is deserted save its waitress."

yu "Welco-Lilly!"

yu "You came back!"

li "But of course, why would you think otherwise?"

yu "But last time… I… I made her cry… didn't I?"

"It would appear that the gravity of the situation was lost on this girl."

li "No, it was by no means your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."

li "But we are here to make amends, and also to have a little break."

ha "I… I'm sorry, Yuuko."

ha "I… wasn't well."

"Yuuko looks confused, but then, before our very eyes, she cheers up."

"Perhaps her brain put the whole matter into the 'Too Hard' basket and decided to move on."

yu "That's okay, that's okay. Now. Where was I?"

hi "Welcome."

yu "Ah, Thank you."

yu "Welcome!"

yu "Please, let me show you to your seat."

"The human mind is an amazing piece of evolution, yet there are some examples that are truly unique."

"If I were an anthropologist, I think I could spend a lifetime studying girls like Yuuko…"

"…Something about that sounds wrong, however I will have to look up how one becomes an anthropologist when we get back tonight."

yu "What would you like to drink today?"

yu "Or eat? We do have food here."

yu "But not everyone eats here."

li "Could we please have a jug of iced jasmine tea and a platter of sandwiches?"

yu "Yes! Of course! Iced Jasmine tea and Sandwiches!"

"Yuuko reads back Lilly's order like a list of commands, bows sharply, then disappears into the back of the store."

hi "So. Here we are, eh?"

li "Indeed. It's quite warm today, isn't it?"

ha "N…no."

"Lilly and I retreat a little, as if Hanako had suddenly become toxic."

ha "It's hot. Really hot."

"A conjoined sigh of relief."

li "My my, Hana-chan, was that a joke?"

li "What a rare occasion."

"Hanako smirks a little under her fringe."

hi "You're right though. It's maddeningly hot out there."

hi "I don't think I could have gone much further."

hi "And the humidity…"

ha "That's the bad part."

li "Quite right. It's much harder to deal with high humidity than high temperature."

hi "I wonder if that's why people can stand living in the desert."

li "Perhaps."

ha "But no-one really lives in the desert."

ha "People live near rivers. Always."

hi "I suppose you're right there, rivers or some other water source."

"As we contemplate the fates of desert people, Yuuko approaches carrying a large plastic jug."

"The ice cubes inside it rattle out some strange melody, and I wonder, briefly, if that kind of noise has inspired any of Hanako's favourite songs."

"Melodic or not, the iced tea is just the elixir for a day like this."

hi "Lilly, commendations on the choice of drink."

ha "It's good."

li "Yes, you simply cannot beat iced jasmine tea on a day like this."

"By the time Yuuko arrives with the platter of cut sandwiches, the large plastic jug is empty."

yu "Would you like another jug?"

li "I think we should be fine for the moment."

yu "Oh, okay."

yu "If you need me, please just call."

"As Yuuko turns from us, the door of the café opens, and a gust of wind blows in behind a pair of new customers."

"Yuuko rushes to serve them, but Lilly looks slightly worried."

li "Hisao-san, would I be right in thinking that outside it is now fairly windy?"

hi "Huh?"

"I take a glance out of the window, and notice the tops of distant trees waving about."

hi "Yeah, it looks like it."

#Lilly frown.

li "Did anyone bring an umbrella?"

hi "Um, no. Hanako?"

ha "N… no. What's the matter Lilly?"

"Lilly sighs."

li "I hope I'm wrong, but I think we may be in for a bit of a storm this afternoon."

hi "How do you know?"

li "With this heat and humidity, there's always a fair chance."

li "The wind is one of the last phases."

li "I'm afraid we may be trapped here for some time."

"Sure enough, as Lilly finishes lamenting, another group of customers enters the store."

customer_1 "Looks like rain out there."

customer_2 "And heavy at that…"

"Hanako and I gawk at Lilly in amazement."

$doublespeak (hi, ha, "How did you know?", "How did you know?")

li "It's simple meteorology. We covered it in science last trimester."

hi "That makes sense, it seems very much like something Muto would teach."

"I get a chuckle from Hanako and Lilly."

ha "But… we can stay here… right?"

hi "I guess so. It doesn't look like there's many people here."

"At that moment, the first splats of rain start to be heard overhead."

"Even the un-Muto-trained ear can tell that these are not your ordinary, petite raindrops."

"They sound fat, ferocious, and incessant."

li "Hisao, could you please call Yuuko over?"

"I gesture to the flippant waitress and she comes immediately."

yu "Can I help?"

li "Yuuko, would you happen to have any spare umbrellas here?"

"Yuuko looks deep in thought for a time."

yu "No, however it looks like it just started raining."

yu "So, if you came back tomorrow, people will probably leave some here today."

"…"

"Even Lilly appears flabbergasted at this answer, and the fact that it is entirely correct."

li "I see. I shall keep that in mind."

li "Could I please order a pot of black tea and some cakes then?"

yu "Right away!"

"Yuuko scurries away to do what she does best; approximating a waitress."

li "I suppose we should just try and wait it out."

ha "Okay. I don't mind staying here."

hi "Sounds like a plan then."

"The barrage of rain intensifies until all that can be heard is white noise around us."

"Occasionally, a peel of thunder rolls through the café."

"However, the storm has an unexpected affect."

"Shortly after the rain reaches what seems like its peak, the door to the café opens."

"The noise of the rain seems to double instantly, and a howling wind rips around the small room, blowing menus around in a mini cyclone."

"But the most disturbing thing to pass through the door is a troupe of soaking, young teenage boys."

"There's about fifteen of them in all, in soccer uniform, all panting from the mad run here."

"They must have been caught out during practice, and made a bolt for here, knowing that it would be relatively dry."

"However, the little café isn't the world's largest eatery, and the soccer team quickly crowds it."

"Excited, panting voices drown out the noise of the rain, and Yuuko goes into some kind of overload and tries to serve them all at once."

"But all of that is a secondary issue."

"Hanako, who had been relatively relaxed until now, is clutching onto my arm with a vice-grip."

"Her head is bowed lower that I've ever seen it before, and her eyes are fixated, unblinking, in some kind of terror."

hi "Hanako? Hanako?!"

"I try to shake her shoulder, then I try to hold her, but to no avail."

"She is as solid as a rock, and half as responsive."

li "Hisao? Is something the matter? What's going on?"

hi "It's Hanako… she's… she's… oh hell, I don't know… Hanako!"

#Thumps centered or magiced however we did it before.

*Thump*

"The boys fill the store with their energy."

"Their bodies want to be out, running around fields, but now they are trapped in this little space."

"Like wild dogs in a cage, they can't stay in any one place for more than a number of seconds."

"It only takes them a few seconds to find us."

boy_1 "Hey there's some girls back here!"

boy_2 "Really? Are they cute?"

boy_1 "They're a bit older, buy you like them that way, right?"

"Hanako's shaking becomes more pronounced, and I can't help but share her fear."

*Thump*

hi "Lilly… we've got to get her out of here… I…"

"Pain grips my chest, like a red hot skewer being driven into my chest."

boy_2 "So? What do they look like?"

li "Hisao? Hisao! Please, calm down!"

boy_1 "Come look for yourself, lazy bastard."

li "We need to remain calm here, for Hanako."

*Thump*

hi "We… I… need to go."

"I stand and try to drag Hanako to her feet."

boy_1 "You're scaring them off! They're getting up!"

hi "Come on Hanako, let's just leave"

boy_2 "Fine I'm coming, stall them…"

"My body heaves with the effort of moving Hanako"

*Thump* *Thump*

li "Hisao? Are you alright?"

hi "I… I think so."

hi "Come on, up you get."

boy_2 "Right, I'm here, what's the WOAH"

"Hanako's body shifts, and her fringe falls away from her face, revealing her scarred face to the young boys."

boy_1 "What the fuck is that?!"

boy_2 "They're the freaks from the school up the road!"

li "Oh no…"

*Thump* *Thump*

"Hanako's body convulses, and she stares directly at the two boys."

"Never have I seen such murderous intent…"

boy_1 "Oh no the freak's gunna get us!"

boy_2 "Run! Ahahaha!"

"The laugher of these boys burns into my mind, however it has a profound effect on Hanako."

"She grabs her ears, and shrieks."

"The ear-piercing shriek silences the howling boys."

li "Hisao! Take her and run!"

"My body reacts to Lilly's words, and I grab Hanako's wrist, and drag her with all my might into the driving rain."

"But it's not rain, it's a torrent of water issued forth from the sky, as is someone had redirected a river to fall upon our heads."

*thump thump thump*

"Hanako is like a rag doll, and stumbles as I pull her away from the little café."

"Lightning flashes and thunder roars, but still I run."

"The pounding of the rain is drowned out only by the pounding in my chest."

"I feel every limb, nay, every muscle in my body tense with the strain, but still I keep dragging Hanako through the rain."

*Thump Thump THUMP*

"Burning pain shoots down my left arm, and I involuntarily release Hanako's hand."

"She stumbles forward, decelerating, but continues past me."

*THUMP THUMP TH-*

"I can take no more."

"My knees buckle, and I collapse around myself."

"As I topple, I see Hanako turn to face me, her face a picture of terror."

"I see her watch me hit the ground."

"I see her face change in ways I've never thought possible."

"I see her stumble over to my limp body, her mouth open in a silent scream."

"No, that's not it… I just can't hear anything. Not even the pounding rain on my face."

*Thump*

"As my world turns grey, I see Hanako straddling me, her fists clenched together and raised above her tear- and rain-streaked face."

"The last light drains out of my world just as I see her brining down her fists."

#ftb

*Thump*.

[cpl_crud]

tl;dr Hisao dies, I go back to see if I manged to beat 9000 words.

Edit: it was 8763. Bummer. Almost got a meme.

I guess I should also mention that this is the end of Hanako's Act 3.

Also, I will admit that I got a little.. passionate towards the end there. I haven't actually *read* it yet, but I'd like to know if some of that intensity actaully made it onto paper or if it's been lost to the aether. tl;dr for that bit; feedback plox.

[cpl_crud]

This is acutally a scene from teh first draft of the Hanako path.

Originally it was mistaken for an actual ending, and for a time I was going to keep it that way.

Hisao's heart attack is no longer a part of the Hanako path, but I like this scene a lot, and what we could have done with it, so I figured I'd chuck it up here instead of straight into the "rubbish" forum (where we keep all of our rejected scenes. Mostly mine.)

[Vertical]

Damn that was a good read! But part of me kicks me for spoiling myself. (Am I really spoiling myself?)

Edit: it was 8763. Bummer. Almost got a meme.

LOL. Well in return you delivered with brevity. Something I lack. Where I find it hard not to inlcude "like" and "as" in every descritption your short prose dodges the necessity on many occasions.

What I appreciated the most outta this were those little slice-of-life observations, such as the trio's arms getting sweaty. Makes me say "I know! Right? Rubbing arms on a hot day sucks! But the first person to complain is an asshole!" Sympathetic stuff right there.

One last thing I wanted to point out. I was impressed by how you shifted from a cheerful afternoon to the tense atmosphere near the end. You managed to shock me with Hanako's behavior too. There's nothing frightening than watching something your comfortable around become unrecognizable.

Gooseflesh, Crud. I has it.

[DuaneMoody]

"peal" of thunder, not "peel."

Any new content from you folks is welcome, even Bad End stuff. Thanks, even if it wasn't Over 9,000 words.

[Aura]

Being from March 2008, this is hardly new.

[Vertical]

True enough, but attention for KS and this board didn't happen until your demo released. Expect even more thread resurrections by me and others... but mostly me.

[Seroanth]

This is acutally a scene from teh first draft of the Hanako path.

Originally it was mistaken for an actual ending, and for a time I was going to keep it that way.

Hisao's heart attack is no longer a part of the Hanako path, but I like this scene a lot, and what we could have done with it, so I figured I'd chuck it up here instead of straight into the "rubbish" forum (where we keep all of our rejected scenes. Mostly mine.)

Yay for no heart attack!

Nice story.