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Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:33 pm
by griffon8
Hmm, should I go ahead and start posting the story I've started? Maybe it will encourage me to work faster on the rest.

What the heck. With obvious inspiration from chaix's 'Christmas with the Nakai's' I present:

Emi's Winter Break

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

***

I knocked on the door in front of me, my standard three knocks.

“Who is it?”

Every time. Every single time. WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS, HISAO? Three more knocks usually gets him going, so I repeated it.

“All right, all right, I’m coming.”

Hisao opened the door, allowing me to see that he was already dressed for our morning run, knowing exactly who would be here.

“And what brings you to my doorstep so early on a fine Sunday morning like today, Emi?”

“Very funny, mister. You know why. Just because it’s the first day of Winter Break doesn’t give you an excuse to slack off on your exercise.”

“You know,” he began, looking over his shoulder through the window of his room, “I was really hoping today’s weather would be bad. Wind, rain, heavy snow, anything. But it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful clear day.”

“And why would you want that, Hisao?” I said, already knowing the answer.

“Well, there are… alternative ways of getting exercise.”

Alternative ways? Reminds me of a description of Fate/stay night I read.

“And we’ve explored them a few times, but I seem to recall that most of the time it’s as a replacement for running in bad weather.”

“But Hisao, what kind of precedent would I be setting, allowing you to shirk your exercise program on a nice day like today?” I said, teasing him.

“Well, it’s pretty cold out. Not supposed to get over 10 below all day.”

“Hmm, well, it is the first day of break, and seeing as your parents aren’t likely to afford us the space to explore such ‘alternatives’ while we’re staying at their place… I guess we can exercise in other ways.”

“What other ways?”

Now who’s teasing whom? “You know perfectly well, Hisao.”

“Me, Emi? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you! Let’s just get out of the hallway and into your room.”

Closing the door, I turned to Hisao. “So, loud or soft?”

“We’re in luck. Kenji left a note which, after cutting through the ‘Feminist Conspiracy’ nonsense, said he left last night, not feeling secure in a building that had been abandoned by the staff.”

“Great! Loud it is!”

***

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Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:42 pm
by TipsyRooster
That was really great. I enjoyed how this is actually taken from the perspective of one of the girls instead of Hisao.


O-ho,"exercise" wink wink nudge nudge

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:46 pm
by Leotrak
*snickers* I see what you did there.

Very interesting. Can hardly wait to see more. My only complaint would be that it's too short, except that happens to my own stuff -all- the time, so I really shouldn't be talking -_-"

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:39 pm
by griffon8
Leotrak wrote:My only complaint would be that it's too short
It's do it the way I did, write in the sex scene (not happening soon), or put in a note about [time passes].

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:44 am
by Mirage_GSM
There's so many fics containing sex scenes here already...
I wouldn't mind if you skipped them. The story seems promising so far.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:58 pm
by neumanproductions
The way its going thus far I don't expect it to end in a Kosher way. Hurray something straight for once. Anyways, I like how your starting this out.
I actually pulled an interesting question out of this story. I can't recall if it specifies in which part of Japan Yamaku is located because that seriously affects the weather; like how likely snow or cold weather happen.
This also reminds me how I've really got to get back to my writing. Been busy with my parody works. :?

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:14 pm
by griffon8
neumanproductions wrote: I can't recall if it specifies in which part of Japan Yamaku is located because that seriously affects the weather; like how likely snow or cold weather happen.
I don't think it has been specified, but there is that picture after you've achieved all five paths which show the girls in fall. So I'm going with snow being possible.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:38 pm
by Mirage_GSM
There is definitely nothing in the ingame text concerning the location of Yamaku. I don't know if there's been Word Of God on the topic, but so far I haven't heard any. I wanted to know, because it affects when the rainy season is going to start, and thus in what timeframe I would have to place my fic. In the end, I played it safe and set it only two weeks after the festival.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:12 am
by kosherbacon
neumanproductions wrote:The way its going thus far I don't expect it to end in a Kosher way.
OH U...

Anyways, a good start. I look forward to the rest.

My only gripe is the initial "*knock, knock, knock*" Since you've got a narrative and not script format, you might as well incorporate sound effects into Emi's internal monologue.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:37 pm
by griffon8
Emi's Winter Break, Part 2

***

“Hisao?”

“Yes, Emi?”

“I guess we better get ready for your parents to pick us up. When are they going to be here?”

“Hmm, looks like we got about two hours.”

“Plenty of time for me to get showered and to pack. We’ll meet them at the front gate, right?”

“Yeah. Do you need any help with your things? Anything for a big, strong man to carry for you?” he said, flexing his arms in an exaggerated manner.

“Hmm… Nope! I’ll be fine. Will you need any help? Need help finding a good place to hide my present?”

“Present? What makes you think you’re getting a present? Just because you’re my girlfriend? Just because you’re meeting my parents for the first time? Just because my parents invited you to stay with them for a week? Just because—OW!”

“Yes, exactly, because of all that,” I said, drawing my hand back from slapping Hisao’s leg, the closest part of him to me.

“Heh. No, I don’t need help hiding your present.”

Stretching out, Hisao wiggled his toes. I started to grab each toe in turn, humming something as I did.

“Are you playing ‘This Little Piggy’?”

I froze as I realized what I was doing. “Oh, uh… yeah.” I turned away to hide my face.

“Hey, is something wrong? I don’t mind—”

“No! Nothing’s wrong. I-I just didn’t know what I was doing. I…” I couldn’t get the words out.

“I think I know you well enough to know something’s wrong. It’s not like seeing you flustered like this is common. What is it?”

“I…” I tried to stay calm about it. “My mom used to play that with me before…”

Hisao sat up at this. And no wonder. “You’ve never talked about… before.”

“It’s such a silly little thing. Mom would play that with me all the time. After the accident, I think she was more upset than I was. And one of the things she cried about was not playing ‘This Little Piggy’ with me anymore.”

Hisao sat there looking at me, waiting for me to continue if I wanted to. I was surprised to find tears on my face. I thought I was over that.

“I’ve tried to make the best of things. I’ve called the loss of my legs a blessing since I’m so great on the track team. But every so often…”

“Go on,” Hisao said quietly after I let my words trail off.

“I wonder what it would have been like, you know, having legs all these years. You do the same, right? Wonder how your life would be if you didn’t have arrhythmia?”

“Sure. Anyone who becomes disabled thinks about that. Probably anyone who has a disability thinks about it, even if they don’t remember ever not having it. I’m sure Rin has wondered what it would be like to have arms, Lilly to have eyes, and Shizune to be able to speak and hear. Just because it’s impossible for them to really imagine it wouldn’t stop them from wondering about it.”

What Hisao said made sense, naturally enough. Rin once told me she had a dream where she had arms.

Of course, this was Rin. The dream also included her having tentacles instead of legs, and teeth like a shark. She was chasing people all over Tokyo until Godzilla and the combined JSDFs took her down.

“Certainly Hanako wishes she didn’t have her scars. But right now, I think the worst thing about my life if I didn’t have a bad heart would be that I’d have never met you.”

I had to laugh at that. “Oooh, good answer. Massive boyfriend points.”

“I’m just glad to get a smile out of you. I thought seeing the puppy dog eyes was bad; tears are much worse.”

“Okay then. No more tears over this. I’ve got to get going anyway. I’ll meet you at the front gate by ten, okay?”

“I’ll see you then.”

***

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Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 4:52 pm
by Leotrak
Woohoo! There's more of this! ^_^ Awesome story :)

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 5:20 pm
by neumanproductions
“Yeah. Do you need any help with your things? Anything for a big, strong man to carry for you?” he said, flexing his arms in an exaggerated manner.
Oh, mister big strong man. :lol:
I have to say, I enjoy the way you brought Emi's thoughts about legs into this.
But right now, I think the worst thing about my life if I didn’t have a bad heart would be that I’d have never met you.”
I had to laugh at that. “Oooh, good answer. Massive boyfriend points.”
Classic line, with the never met you part. I've used that a few times and it still brings a 'how cute' thought to my mind; that's saying a lot when I'm the one writing it.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 12:09 am
by kosherbacon
Of course, this was Rin. The dream also included her having tentacles instead of legs, and teeth like a shark. She was chasing people all over Tokyo until Godzilla and the combined JSDFs took her down.
:lol: You paint an awesome mental image there.

Also, Emi playing "This Little Piggy" is so moe I could just die. I'm so glad I'm an Emifag. :P

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 7:29 am
by griffon8
kosherbacon wrote:My only gripe is the initial "*knock, knock, knock*" Since you've got a narrative and not script format, you might as well incorporate sound effects into Emi's internal monologue.
That is a good point. Thank you.

Re: Emi's Winter Break

Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 11:13 pm
by griffon8
Emi's Winter Break, Part 3

***

Just after ten I came out of the dorm to see that Hisao was already there. Good, I didn’t have to worry about his parents arriving before he did.

I hauled my bags toward him as he saw me coming. “Hey, Emi. My parents haven’t arrived, but they called to say that they should be here in about ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes from now or ten minutes since their call?”

“Ten minutes since their call. Which should be… hey, there they come! Good timing all around.”

Hisao’s parents pulled up in front of the gates. Hisao had told me how he had seen those gates as the separation from the world he had known and the new world inside Yamaku. Now he’ll visit the old one again.

“Hicchan! How wonderful to see you!” Hisao’s mom cried out as she got out of the car. I had to giggle at that. I knew Hisao didn’t like Misha calling him ‘Hicchan’, but he didn’t mention that his mom called him that.

“And this must be Emi! I’m so pleased to finally meet you.”

“I’m very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Nakai.”

“Well, let’s go. We’ve got a couple hours’ drive ahead of us.”

“If you and Dad are all set, I guess we can get going.”

Mr. Nakai helped Hisao and me get our bags into the car. “Nice to meet you, Emi. I’ve heard a lot about you, but I’m afraid my son wasn’t able to convey just how pretty you are.”

“Come on, Dad! You’ve seen plenty of photos of Emi in the e-mails I’ve sent.”

“One should always make a compliment when meeting someone for the first time.”

“And insult your son at the same time?” Hisao teased.

“Well, that’s a parent’s prerogative,” Mr. Nakai teased back.

We settled into the car, and Mr. Nakai started driving.

“So what are the plans for the week? You mentioned some party going on the last time I called.”

“Oh my, yes, Hicchan. There’s a big party planned at your old school on Tuesday. Everyone in the neighborhood is invited and I’m sure you’ll be able to see lots of your old friends there.”

“Huh. Well, I haven’t heard from anyone at my old high school since I got out of the hospital. What are the details?”

“There’s going to be a DJ and dancing. They’ll have decorated trees outside and plenty of decorations inside. And it’s a potluck dinner; we’ll be bringing dumplings.”

“Nice. You make great dumplings, Mom.”

“That’s a lot more than we ever had where I grew up. We never had organized parties for Christmas,” I said.

“It’s a pretty big deal for us, too. There have been parties done for small neighborhoods, but never this big,” Mr. Nakai added.

“Sounds like it will be a lot of fun then. How long is the party supposed to be?” I asked.

“It starts at five, but the end is kind of open. The school will be open until midnight,” Mr. Nakai responded. “Most of the younger kids will have left by eight I expect. There will be chaperons until the end of the night.”

The conversation drifted to topics about home and school for a while. After that had died down, Mrs. Nakai brought up a subject that seemed to embarrass her a bit.

“So, Hicchan, I was wondering… that is, your father and I were wondering… um… have you… I mean, have you and Emi…”

“Yes?” Hisao said, giving me a look that I recognized as his way of saying, ‘let’s have some fun with this’.

“Well, have you and Emi… slept together?”

“You mean, have we had sex with each other?”

“Uh, well… yes.”

“Oh sure, lots of times. Most every day in fact. Why just this morning, we had sex instead of going for a run on the track. It’s really good exercise after all.”

Mrs. Nakai couldn’t hide the blush on her face. “Oh, uh, that’s… well I guess that’s kind of expected for, you know, a couple who are in a new relationship. You are… um, being safe?”

“Well, we rarely draw blood, we don’t use whips, and we always establish a ‘safe word’ at the start. Is that what you mean?”

“Um, no…”

I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I started in on a great big laugh, soon joined by Hisao. Before long, Mr. Nakai joined in as well.

“Oh, I’ll never get used to your jokes. This is all your fault, you know,” she accused her husband.

“Hey, you used to find my pranks amusing. You wouldn’t have accepted my proposal if I hadn’t done it the way I did.”

“Yes, and then I told you that you had better never do it again.”

“Heh. Well, there is that.”

“Oh I’ve got to hear this story,” I said.

“Not now. In fact, I forbid you from telling it to her while she’s our guest,” she informed her husband.

“Some other time, then,” Mr. Nakai said, resignedly.

Hisao silently mouthed to me, “Tell you later,” and gave me a big smile.

***

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