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Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 4:35 pm
by Shaddox
Hello, everyone, first time being here. I played (more like read) Katawa Shojo, enjoyed a lot, and now I finally got the guts to post my appreciation. I want to express my appreciation for your work, and especially Emi. I feel I am resonating with her, because I am a cripple too. I lost a leg as a kid (knee-down) and it still gives me nightmares even now. Sometimes, I wake up and crash to the floor, forgetting about the missing leg and feeling normal for about 15 seconds. I've seen people here saying Emi doesn't have to be in such a school. Let me deny that : I wear a prothesis too, and let me describe the experience : When school starts (after summer break), I can hold out even 6 hours/day without feeling any pain, but after about a week or two, the time I can withstand goes down because my wounds open and it is starting to hurt like hell. Fortunately, I can minimize the pain supporting myself more on my healthy leg, at the cost of looking like a pirate. I have only one friend, and he is the only person capable to make me laugh sincerely, something I thought I had forgotten.

Thinking about my experience, I feel Emi's been at least 5 times as hard (for another leg missing and no healthy leg to support on), yet she is still capable to be so cheerful and happy-go-lucky. One thing I can tell about her is that she comes from no poor family, hell, my prothesis is not high-end and it costed my family a helluva-lot. Those things, even in double quantity, must have costed a fortune. I hope in the full game she'll keep her good-willed nature and confess her experiences towards Hisao. I wouldn't be surprised if Emi's good nature is a side effect of her trauma as a child.

Thx for making such a great game, and thx for listening me out.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 5:18 pm
by SnowSong
First of all, welcome to the forum! Your account is fascinating, and I thank you for sharing it. It is those things we often do not think about, such as pain from prostetics, that are the most difficult. As well, I am sure some of the other members of this board may have some suggestions that may help you in that problem, too. Because I do not know a great deal about this field, I will guess that more layers of gauze/clothing over the wound area may help. As well, if you do not mind, I would like to hear more about the unique aspects of living with prostetics, from the difficulties to the advantages.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 5:23 pm
by DuaneMoody
If it was so long ago, why is your wound still opening up? My limited understanding of these things is that usually the surgeons strive (during amputation) to leave a flap of skin which is folded over the stump so that the stitches are not on the end. Or have they changed procedures on these things?

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 5:31 pm
by Envy
Shaddox wrote:I lost a leg as a kid (knee-down)
What was that like?

All of it, I mean. What was it like to lose a leg? What did you feel at the time, what did you feel afterwards and how did you cope? What medical treatment and support did and/or do you get and was/is it any good or is it shit? What about social stigma; how do/did friends, family and strangers act towards you? Be frank.

I realize I'm throwing a lot of questions at you but these are all questions I'd ask anyway in the long run if you're willing to share your experience.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 7:04 pm
by Shaddox
SnowSong wrote: First of all, welcome to the forum! Your account is fascinating, and I thank you for sharing it. It is those things we often do not think about, such as pain from prostetics, that are the most difficult. As well, I am sure some of the other members of this board may have some suggestions that may help you in that problem, too. Because I do not know a great deal about this field, I will guess that more layers of gauze/clothing over the wound area may help. As well, if you do not mind, I would like to hear more about the unique aspects of living with prostetics, from the difficulties to the advantages.
First of all, welcome to the forum! Your account is fascinating, and I thank you for sharing it. It is those things we often do not think about, such as pain from prostetics, that are the most difficult.
It's not very comfortable going from my own memory, so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask away.

SnowSong wrote:As well, I am sure some of the other members of this board may have some suggestions that may help you in that problem, too. Because I do not know a great deal about this field, I will guess that more layers of gauze/clothing over the wound area may help.
I don't know of any help you guys can offer me, but thanks for the thought. The only thing I may ask is not treat me like a circus freak, but human being. That would help me a lot.
DuaneMoody wrote: If it was so long ago, why is your wound still opening up? My limited understanding of these things is that usually the surgeons strive (during amputation) to leave a flap of skin which is folded over the stump so that the stitches are not on the end. Or have they changed procedures on these things?
I think you misunderstood my message. Yes, they do leave a flap of skin, but how do you think that a piece of skin can cope with an average of 10 hr/day friction with a piece of plastic/rubber? Wounds are bound to happen.
Envy wrote:What was that like?

All of it, I mean. What was it like to lose a leg? What did you feel at the time, what did you feel afterwards and how did you cope?
I don't know if you're trying to troll me, but I'll answer my best. At first I didn't know what was going on. I was trying to lift up, but I was falling. It was about 2-3 days later they finally told me I lost a leg, which I couldn't believe. I felt it was there, but the reality of not being able to stand told me otherwise. It took me about 2 weeks to accept that my leg just wasn't there.
Envy wrote:What medical treatment and support did and/or do you get and was/is it any good or is it shit? What about social stigma; how do/did friends, family and strangers act towards you? Be frank.
I don't remember much of the medical treatment, but I do remember that since then dad started acting with a velvet golve. That day I knew I lost my father. I wasn't his "little man" anymore, since I wanted to follow him up in a boxing carreer. I was his responsability, his mistake ( he keeps blaming himself to this day). At least mom kept part of her humanity. Also, in the same way, Ifelt like I lost all my friends, since everyone around me started treating me artificially good. It took a while until I met my very best and only friend, who even calls me Captain Jack as a nickname. He doesn't treat me like a mistake, and that makes me feel human again. Generally speaking, strangers treat me with either a velvet glove (out of mercy, smth like "That poor faggot..." ) or an iron fist (some people find amusing bullying me).

Well, I'm currently doing bad in college and feeling like a worthless piece of shit, but I still have the fighting spirit inherited from my father, and that keeps me going on. I hope I'll learn something this summer and do good in college next year. Before other questions or comments come : Yes, I am aware I am pathetic and there are people far worse than me. I know what I should do, yet I don't have the strenght to do so ...

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 7:46 pm
by Caesius
Nobody here is going to troll you or treat you like a circus freak; if they do it's likely they'll be banned. Alright?

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 7:49 pm
by Mercutio
welcome to the forums, man. and thanks for sharing your story with us. :mrgreen:

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 8:04 pm
by Roxius
I actually kind of teared up reading that story of yours. Really. :cry:

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 8:20 pm
by Pimmy
Nice to finally see some Emi appreciation! I love her, heck, I'm perfectly able-bodied and I wish I could have half of her energy! Great to hear that people with similar difficulties can relate to her.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 8:45 pm
by SnowSong
Shaddox wrote: Before other questions or comments come : Yes, I am aware I am pathetic and there are people far worse than me. I know what I should do, yet I don't have the strenght to do so ...
Uhmm.... If I was a psychotherapist, I would say that it is not doing bad at school that is making you unhappy, but yourself who places too much emphasis on success in school that is depressing you (I know that sentence will get me several month in prison at least from the grammar police; Therefore, tell me when they are coming so I can hide). But back on topic, can you tell us more about prostetic legs? How are they attached? How long do they usually last? Is there a large adjustment period to one?

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:07 pm
by DuaneMoody
Thanks for clearing up the wound thing -- I had misunderstood to think it was reopening the original surgical scar. I think you'll be treated decently here, and if not TPTB will step in.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 1:10 am
by Bara
Shaddox wrote: I've seen people here saying Emi doesn't have to be in such a school. Let me deny that : I wear a prothesis too, and let me describe the experience : When school starts (after summer break), I can hold out even 6 hours/day without feeling any pain, but after about a week or two, the time I can withstand goes down because my wounds open and it is starting to hurt like hell. Fortunately, I can minimize the pain supporting myself more on my healthy leg, at the cost of looking like a pirate.
Here is an interesting experiment for anyone willing to try. Tomorrow morning, instead of climbing out of bed and standing on your feet, get down on your knees and walk. Put some kneepads on and walk on your knees as long as you can that day. Hell, I don't think I'd be able to make it to the bathroom from my bedroom and its 10 feet from my bedroom to the bathroom.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 1:26 am
by Shaddox
At first I was reluctant to post my appreciation for Emi because I didn't want to get a Drama Queen tag. Thanks again. :)
SnowSong wrote: Uhmm.... If I was a psychotherapist, I would say that it is not doing bad at school that is making you unhappy, but yourself who places too much emphasis on success in school that is depressing you (I know that sentence will get me several month in prison at least from the grammar police; Therefore, tell me when they are coming so I can hide).
Well, it's not like I have anything better to do ... so natural school comes first.
SnowSong wrote:But back on topic, can you tell us more about prostetic legs? How are they attached? How long do they usually last? Is there a large adjustment period to one?
Well, there are a lot of types of prostetic legs, but the better ones cost around 8000$. No way my family could afford such a thing, especially since it would have to be changed every 3-4 years. I suppose you are more insterested in mine, though. Mine is attached via belts/straps and it lasts for cca 2-4 yrs (they become obsolete because of either personal growth or because it just can't hold on anymore). There isn't really any adjustment time, since wearing that thing is as confortable as it will ever be. I don't wear it around the house when I'm home alone.

Any other questions/curiosities? I have an exam in Probabilities/Statistics at 10:00 GMT, so I think I'll keep an eye around here and one in the slides.

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 1:33 am
by Sturm
Shaddox wrote:At first I was reluctant to post my appreciation for Emi because I didn't want to get a Drama Queen tag. Thanks again. :)
SnowSong wrote: Uhmm.... If I was a psychotherapist, I would say that it is not doing bad at school that is making you unhappy, but yourself who places too much emphasis on success in school that is depressing you (I know that sentence will get me several month in prison at least from the grammar police; Therefore, tell me when they are coming so I can hide).
Well, it's not like I have anything better to do ... so natural school comes first.
SnowSong wrote:But back on topic, can you tell us more about prostetic legs? How are they attached? How long do they usually last? Is there a large adjustment period to one?
Well, there are a lot of types of prostetic legs, but the better ones cost around 8000$. No way my family could afford such a thing, especially since it would have to be changed every 3-4 years. I suppose you are more insterested in mine, though. Mine is attached via belts/straps and it lasts for cca 2-4 yrs (they become obsolete because of either personal growth or because it just can't hold on anymore). There isn't really any adjustment time, since wearing that thing is as confortable as it will ever be. I don't wear it around the house when I'm home alone.

Any other questions/curiosities?
Have you ever considered a wheelchair?

I would imagine that a wheelchair would be more economical, since they don't need to be replaced as often (Though the initial cost is more or less the same as a prosthetic leg)

Re: Personal Appreciation for Emi

Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 1:41 am
by Shaddox
Sturm wrote: Have you ever considered a wheelchair?

I would imagine that a wheelchair would be more economical, since they don't need to be replaced as often (Though the initial cost is more or less the same as a prosthetic leg)
Haha, yes, it would come out cheaper, but so totally not worth it. I live at the 10th floor. The elevator is at the 9th. Also, there is about 1/4 floor distance worth of steps before actually getting out of building. Imagine the joyride. :lol: :lol:
That and the fact that I don't have any means of climbing into a public transport means I'd have to leave home at least 2 hrs before classes start, since the road is going uphill