Page 1 of 3

Learning to Run (Emi and Hisao Reconnect in their 30s) (COMPLETE)

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2023 10:27 am
by guthrum06

INTRODUCTION

Hi everyone! I’m a fairly recent convert to Katawa Shoujo, only finding it earlier this year. After I finished the game I was so desperate for more stories that I also consumed pretty much all the fanfiction there is. While there are lots of great stories out there, Eurobeatjester’s Learning to Fly is the one that really captivated me. So much so that I decided to take my first crack at writing fanfiction.

In Learning to Fly, Hisao ends up with Saki Enomoto who suffers from a condition that is fatal. I thought ahead to the inevitable tragic ending, and came to the realization that a Hisao who has known such terrible loss could really stand to reconnect with Emi. That’s what this story is. It’s about the two of them reconnecting in their 30s and helping one another cope with the loss and grief that is weighing them down.

It takes place in a similar continuity to Learning to Fly. I say ‘similar’ because LtF currently isn’t finished, and to tell this story I needed to fill in the ending. So, here are the big events that are relevant to this story that I filled in. Ultimately, EBJ will finish Learning to Fly, at which point the continuities will be clearly distinct. Here are the things that I filled in:

  • Saki and Hisao got married at 18 so they can be together as long as possible, and to free her of her father.

  • As Saki’s ataxia worsens, she has to give up on performance and becomes a composer. She becomes a very successful and prolific one in the years she has.

  • Chisato and Mitsuru broke up when he went to university in Korea, but once he graduates he returns and they get married not long after that.

  • By 28, Saki’s ataxia is advanced enough that she is ready to go. This story picks up on the sixth anniversary of her death.

While it isn’t crucial that you read Learning to Fly for this story to make sense, I do recommend it. Although, if you’re on the forum, there’s probably a really good chance you have anyway.

STRUCTURE

22 chapters encompass the main story arc. Each of these is from the perspective of either Emi or Hisao.
There are also 9 Epilogues which cover a greater span of time, and are divided into parts with different POVs.

Table of Contents:

Chapters 1-4 (This Post)
Chapter 5-7
Chapter 8 & 9
Chapter 10 and 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16 and 17
Chapter 18 and 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Epilogue 1: Keeping Pace
Epilogue 2: Track Meet
Epilogue 3: Clearing Hurdles
Epilogue 4: Photo Finish
Epilogue 5: Marathon
Epilogue 6: Relay
Epilogue 7: Rest Day
Epilogue 8: Talk Test
Epilogue 9: Finish Line

There's also Yamaku: The Next Generation, which is in the same continuity.


Chapter 1 (Hisao)

"Okay, class. That does it for today. Remember to do the reading on the laws of thermodynamics before Monday, as we'll be doing an exercise in class. Have a nice weekend everyone."

As I pack up my things for the day and say goodbye to my students, I start to steel myself for the events that are coming this evening.

Today is the anniversary. I'm going to visit her grave later with Chisato and Mitsuru. We were good friends before Saki's passing, but over the last few years we've become a lot closer. Sometimes I feel like they think they have to take care of me, especially on days like today. It can feel a little degrading sometimes, but truth be told, I do appreciate everything they've done for me over the last several years.

...

"Do you want us to leave you alone? We can go wait in the car until you're ready."

Chisato and Mitsuru have already paid their respects to their friend, but then can tell that I'm not ready to go yet. This is the usual way of things. I always want to stay later than they do.

"Yeah that would be good. I'll just be a few more minutes."

With Chisato and Mitsuru gone, I feel my vision start to blur as I look at my wife's grave, and tears start to silently flow down my cheeks. I don't feel like I can cry in front of them, because they are always so worried about me already. They look at me like I could break at any minute. Who could blame them? It isn't that far from the truth.

I feel pathetic that it has been six years and this day still affects me this much. I feel so much despair and sadness every day, but it's so much more intense on the anniversary. But why wouldn't I feel this way? I loved her…still love her so much. I've felt a hole in my life for the last six years. It just isn't fair. Why did she have to have ataxia? Why did she have to be taken from us so young? She deserved so much more of a life than she was given. Now the tears are really starting to flow.

Eventually I've cried myself out, and most of my negative emotions seem to have left with my tears. She wouldn't want me to think so negatively about this. I smile as I read her name and trace it with my finger. She did so much with the life she was given. She loved so hard, and really left her mark on the world with all her music. I'm so happy and thankful for all of that. She really did live a full life with the time she had. I'm happy I was part of it. I'm happy she was able to go out on her own terms.

But I still miss her. So much.

I stand up and wipe away my tears before walking back to the car. I get back in without saying anything, but give a nod to Chisato, and we head back to their place.

...

We've just enjoyed some takeout from Saki's favorite restarauant, and now we're just laughing and reminiscing about some of our favorite Saki memories. I talk about the day we met by chance, when I was just trying to find some art supplies, and how she almost immediately began teasing me like she had known me for years. We laugh about the time she made us miss the bus back to Yamaku and we ended up stuck at the beach. We talk about how incredible her performance was at the end of the year concert the day before graduation. We talk about how amazing it was when her first song won a national contest.

Before long it has gotten late, and I stand up, say goodbye to my friends and take a few steps towards the door.

But before I can leave, Mitsuru says, "Hisao, can you just stay a little longer? There are a few things we'd really like to talk about with you. We're…worried about you."

I scoff in frustration but sit back down. "It isn't news to me that you're worried about me. Do we really need to have this conversation today?"

"Yes. I think a day where Saki is at the forefront of all our minds is a good day for this."

I sigh loudly but gesture for them to continue.

Chisato takes over from here.

She looks at me with deep concern all over her face. "Hisao…you made a promise to Saki that you would keep living life to the fullest without her. You promised you'd find happiness, and even find love again one day. But you aren't doing that. You aren't trying to make new friends. Hell, I'm pretty sure the only places you go are the school, our house, and your house. You don't even like to go out with us. You don't ever want to come over when we have company. At some point…you need to start living again. It's great that you've thrown yourself into school, and that you're accomplishing some great things in your professional life since we lost her. But what about your personal life? She... wouldn't want to see you like this. We don't want to see you like this."

Something in my mind snaps, and I leap to my feet and scream at them.

"Don't you THINK I already know that? Do you really think I need YOU TWO to tell me that I'm letting Saki down by being like this? Don't you think I know she would probably HATE the person I've become? Don't you think I hate the person I've become?"

I feel my heart rate start to elevate. I need to calm down. I shouldn't be yelling at them anyway. They are just trying to help.

I sit back down in my seat and avert my eyes from them, and I quietly speak.

"I get it. She was all about doing everything she could with the time she had, and right now, I'm wasting mine. I think about it all the time."

Chisato comes over and crouches to hug me while I'm seated. I feel her body shaking as she starts to cry quietly. I put my hand on her back.

"Look. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just upset. I'm not angry at you two. I'm thankful for everything you have done for me. I wouldn't be in as good of shape as I am now – such as it is – if it weren't for you two. I promise that I will eventually turn things around. I just… I need more time. But, I am trying, okay? I'm doing the best I can. I won't always be like this."

Neither of them seem convinced by that.

With Chisato incapacitated, Mitsuru takes over.

"Well, that's all we can ask for. Just keep trying, okay? But...we're not just worried about your mental state. We're worried about your health too. With your condition, don't you need to be exercising? It doesn't seem like you've been doing that for some time."

He's not wrong. My exercise regimen has really dropped off. Swimming became too painful to do without Saki, and I haven't really picked anything up to replace it. I do at least walk a lot in my daily life, but I should be doing more. Still, I don't want to talk about this right now.

"Can't you just…lay off? Isn't discussing one of my major shortcomings enough for one night?"

"Can't you at least…think about taking better care of yourself?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Chisato breaks our hug and seems to have recovered, and she rejoins the conversation.

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

I sigh loudly again and cross my arms.

"I know you're right, okay? My doctor isn't exactly thrilled with the turn things have taken either. I've already been thinking about finding some new way to exercise. I probably need the outlet. It will probably help in more ways than one."

"Good, I'm glad that you've already been thinking about it. I'm sorry we ambushed you like this. It wasn't…exactly planned. But seeing you like this tonight was really hard. You…don't seem well, Hisao. We love you, and we wouldn't be good friends if we didn't speak up about it."

"Oh, so I look awful too huh?" I say half jokingly. "You were right to talk to me about this. I just...have really shut myself down. I need something to get me going again. I'm going to try to do better. Hopefully, by the time of Saki's next anniversary, I'll be in a better place and you two won't have to lecture me again."

Chapter 2 (Hisao)

I am quietly reading a book in my apartment when I'm startled by my phone. It's a little embarassing I was so easily surprised, but I don't get a whole lot of phone calls these days. It seems to be a number that isn't programmed into my phone, but something about the number seems…familiar.

"Hello, this is Nakai speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Nakai."

I recognize this voice, but it has been quite some time. I feel like it is a voice I heard a whole lot of, but it has been awhile. After a few seconds, I realize who it is.

"Mutou! Hello, how have you been?"

He laughs, "I'm glad you still recognize my voice." He laughs, "I suppose it would be hard to forget, given how much I like droning on. Anyway, It has been some time."

He's right. The last time we talked was when he called me after Saki passed away to offer his condolences. I was surprised to get a call from my old teacher, but I really appreciated it. We talked for a couple of hours, catching up on things. We mostly talked about science, which was a nice way to keep things off my mind. He helped me quite a lot during a very dark time.

"It has. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well, I'll cut right to the chase. We'll have time later for some pleasantries. I am going to be retiring at the end of this trimester. The board wanted to know if I had any recommendations to replace me as homeroom and science teacher here at Yamaku. I told them I had only one."

"You mean?!"

"I do. I recommended you for the position. How could I not? You are an alumnus and you are doing quite well for yourself as a teacher. However, I told them I would call you first before I get the ball rolling. I know you've been teaching at that school in Tokyo for awhile now, and you may not want to leave. So, are you interested in the job? I can give you some time to think about it, but not too much I'm afraid. They want to get rolling on the hiring process, so I will need an answer by tomorrow."

I have always wanted to go back and teach at Yamaku. If I'm being honest, it is the first thing I imagined when I decided I want to become a science teacher. Yamaku was a special place for me, and I would love to go back. This is like a dream come true. I know the pay is better too. The only downside I can think of is that I would have to move. But given the rut I'm in, maybe it would do me some good. I don't need time to think about this.

"I am interested in the job, sir. Very interested, actually."

"I'm glad to hear it! I will let the powers that be know. You will have to do an interview of course, but I think you're very likely to get the job. There is still some other faculty here that knows you. I will see if I can extract any recommendations out of them. Expect a call phone tomorrow to set up the interview."

"Thank you so much for recommending me, sir. I look forward to the phone call."


As Mutou predicted, the job interview was mostly a formality and I got the job. It was hard saying goodbye to Chisato and Mitsuru, but they were both really happy for me. I think they thought I could use a change of scenery. Now that I am here, I have to admit, I do feel a little better. I will be keeping in touch with them, and visit them often.

I think Saki would be happy I ended up here. She never thought Yamaku was perfect, but we both got a lot out of being here. Now I'm back, and I can help students the same way the Yamaku staff helped me.

So, I've moved to the town down the hill from Yamaku, where I found a nice apartment. I am walking up that old familiar hill.

It is Spring Vacation. I moved up here early to get settled in my new surroundings, and to take part in some special training at Yamaku. While this sort of thing was pretty awful at my old school, I think this will actually be helpful. While I have a whole lot more experience with disability than most teachers, there are still some things I need to learn when it comes to teaching at a school like Yamaku. I was always impressed with how calmly the faculty and staff could deal with emergencies. Mutou always knew what to do when Hanako had a panic attack or Naomi had a seizure. Hopefully this training can help me be prepared for that kind of thing.

I stop for a moment at the familiar iron gates, reminiscing about the past. I do the same while walking the school grounds. I visit the places that were special to us. I think about the festival where I first really spent time with Saki. I think about sneaking around the dorm security so we could spend the night in eachother's rooms. I remember meeting her by chance outside the performing arts center. I remember proposing to her there after her final performance at Yamaku. I remember our graduation day.

This place really is special to me. I'm happy to be back.

Just as I am walking past the performing arts center, lost in my happy memories, I pick up something in my peripheral vision. Before I can identify what it is, I feel an impact on my side and stumble a few times before falling ass first on the ground.

Meanwhile, the person that ran into me has already pulled herself up and is dusting off her skirt.

"Sorry about that. Are you okay? I was in a hurry and you came out of nowhere from the other side of the building!"

I rub my eyes, because I can hardly believe who I see. Surely I have somehow stepped in the past. Did I some how end up within my own memories? Am I in the Twilight Zone? Have I lost my mind? Thes explanations all make more sense than what appears to be the reality. This isn't the first time this particular person has run into me.

I pull myself up off the ground and say, "E-emi?"

She looks up at me and scans me with her eyes, but she ends up with a confused expression, as if she kind of recognizes me, but it isn't quite clicking.

"Do I…know you?"

No doubt about it. This is definitely Emi Ibarazaki. The Fastest Thing on No Legs, as she used to call herself. Well, based on what just happened that might still be what she calls herself. I haven't seen her since graduation. She looks different of course. After all, it has been sixteen years, but there's no mistaking it. Those bright green eyes, her petite frame, and of course, those prosthetic legs that start just below her knee. In high school she used to try to conceal them by wearing tights or socks, but it seems like now she's fine with people seeing them as they are out in the open.
Gone are her trademark twintails, in favor of a simpler and more adult ponytail. And she certainly looks older than she used to. In high school she could have passed for a middle schooler. Now, I'd say she looks like someone who has just finished college and recently became a working adult, despite the fact that she must be in her mid-30s. She's dressed professionally in a knee-length black and white pinstriped skirt and a white blouse.

"Yes, you definitely know me. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time you've knocked me over while you were rushing somewhere. Though it has been about 16 years, so maybe you forgot."

She walks up to me and looks at me for a few more seconds in silence, walking around me as if she'll uncover some clue about my identity if she looks hard enough.

I smile at her. "You've probably knocked over a lot of people, so don't feel bad if you need me to remind you."

I can see on her face that the realization has finally dawned on her.

"Hi…sao?" she says as if she almost can't believe it herself. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing myself."

She laughs, "I work here now, believe it or not. I'm on the medical staff as a physical therapist. Been back here for...about five years now. I'm also the advisor for the track club of course," she says with a wink.

"Wow, that's great. I work here too, though I only just started."

"Holy crap." She slaps herself in the forehead, as all the pieces fall together for her. "You're the new science teacher aren't you? They sent out an e-mail about the new hire but I normally don't read those. Guess I should have this time."

She pulls out her phone and checks the time.

"Listen it has been really cool seeing you again, and I'm sure I'll see you around, but I have to go teach a first aid class for some of the staff and faculty, and I'm getting close to being late."

I laugh at the fact that this is yet another coincidence, and she looks at me confused for a moment, unsure of the joke that she missed out on. Then the light bulb goes off in her head.

"You're…headed to that class right now, aren't you?"

"Yep. Lead the way!"

...

I learned a lot from Emi's first aid seminar. I already knew some of it, but I gained a lot more insight on how to respond to a wider variety of situations. It was really interesting being taught by her after all these years. She is her same old chipper, bright-eyed self. She infused some much-needed levity and humor into what would otherwise have been a very dry two hours.

After the class has emptied out and she is getting ready to leave, I walk up to her.

"That was a really helpful lesson Ibarazaki-sensei." I say this with mock respect and get the laugh out of it that I expected.

"Really though, it was very good. I was a little worried about this side of things, but feel much better now. More prepared."

"Glad to hear it. What are you doing now?"

"Well, there is time for a lunch break now, and then I have another workshop this afternoon."

"Do you want to join me for lunch? It would be nice to catch up."

"Sure! I brought my lunch. Should I meet you on the roof?" I say with a laugh.

She crosses her arms and sneers at me. "Real funny, Nakai. For your information I do still eat on the roof sometimes. Not usually when classes are in session. But that's exactly where I was planning on having my lunch today."

She realizes how silly that sounds and adds, "You must think I haven't changed at all since high school. From your perspective it is like you left Yamaku and I've just been here all along, eating on the roof with Rin, running through the hallways, winning all the track meets, and breaking all the boys' hearts."

I give her a hearty laugh. The most genuine laugh I've had in a very long time.

She adds some mock sentimentality to her voice, puts her hands on her hips, and acts like she is looking off in the distance, "Ah, the good ol' days."

She steps out of her silly pose and says, "Come on Nakai, let's go to the roof!"

...

We have just finished our lunches on the roof. This is surreal. The last time we were up here together she gave me a rice ball while trying to pump me for information about me and Saki. While she has changed in many ways, the very unlady-like way she devours her food certainly hasn't. We're both finished, but not really saying anything.

I get the conversation started.

"So, are you still close with Rin?"

She smiles, "As close as I've ever been. I still don't really understand her of course – no one does, but we do talk from time to time. She lives in Sendai, so it also isn't too hard for me to go to her fancy art shindigs from time to time. We hang out sometimes too. What about you? Still friends with any of your old Yamaku buddies?" The question hangs in the air for a moment as I hesitate about how to address her question, and then her smile turns into a guilty frown.

"Sorry, I…shouldn't have asked that." She pauses, clearly thinking about whether to add something. "I was…sorry to hear about Saki, Hisao. She was a great girl. I was in classes with her all three years here, you know. I probably should have sent you my condolences back when it happened…but I'll offer them now."

"That's okay Emi. It isn't like we really kept in touch, so I'm not offended you didn't reach out or anything."

"Yeah well, maybe I should have made more of an effort to stay in touch. I'm pretty bad at that. Other than Rin I don't talk to anyone from Yamaku, and I don't even keep in touch with people from university. But anyway. I really am sorry. I'm…sure that was hard."

"It was…it is. But I'm coping. Anyway, to answer your original question about my other Yamaku buddies, I am still quite close with Chisato and Mitsuru. I'd say Chisato is probably my best friend, actually. And I see Noriko every now and again."

"That's good. Are you still swimming?"

Shit. Leave it to Emi to think of one's exercise regimen as one of the first things to ask someone about when you're catching up after sixteen years.

"No. I kept at it for quite awhile but I…stopped actually. I mostly go for walks these days."

Her facial expression become one part confused and one part concerned. "Don't you kind of…have to do some cardio because of your condition?"

"I…yeah. I'm supposed to. My doctor, my parents, and my friends are all on me about it, and I know I need to but I just…haven't."

She smirks. "Okay, when I tell you this you're really going to think I've never left Yamaku and haven't changed a bit," she laughs "...but I run at the track every morning. If you're interested in trying to take up running again, I can help! Oh, and this time I won't overlook your condition and try to get you to race me on your first day." She giggles and then winks at me. "I actually know what I'm doing now. I went to college and everything! See, that's different!"

I laugh, "Well, that's a relief. It is really nice of you to offer, Emi. I'll think about it."

She shifts from a silly face to a serious one in less than a second. It is more than a little frightening. "You need to do more than think about it, Nakai. The only reason I got off your back about it back in the day is because you started swimming. You need to be doing something. You can try running with me. I'm there most days at 6:30 a.m., so it is a standing invitation. If you try it and don't want to do it, and even if you don't want to try it all, I can help you find something else that will be good for your heart."

I have a serious case of deja vu.

"I…kind of feel like I'm talking to the old head nurse. But I guess having talks with students about how to take care of their physical health is your job now. So it makes sense."

She laughs, "Funny story about that. That head nurse from when we went here? He's married to my mom now."

My mouth falls wide open in shock, causing Emi to laugh at my surprise.

"I guess you didn't know this back in the day, but I've actually been kind of close to him since before Yamaku. So…there's probably more truth to what you're saying than you might think. He is definitely my professional role model."

Her face suddenly turns serious again.

"But don't try to change the subject Nakai. You need to be doing cardio, and I am going to make sure that happens."

Now her face shifts back to happy-go-lucky Emi. How does she do that?

"Here, put your number in my phone. I will be checking up on you."

Chapter 3 (Hisao)

It's 5 a.m. I can't sleep.

It doesn't happen nearly as often these days, but sometimes my medication can disturb my sleep. Of course, maybe it is just the anxiety of starting a new job that's keeping me up. Even somewhere this familiar.

There are a few days before the first trimester of the year begins. I guess I could get up and look over my syllabi and first few lesson plans.
I groggily pull myself out of bed and stumble to the living room and get out my laptop and start working.

Around 9 a.m. my phone vibrates, I have a text message from an unknown number.

"Hey Hisao. This is Emi. Did you figure out your cardio problem?"

Dammit. I was kind of hoping she had forgotten. I haven't seen her since that day on the roof and thought I might be in the clear. I type out my answer.

"Not really. Have been busy with all the training I was required to do."

She responds surprisingly quickly.

"You need to find time for this. Your well-being depends on it."

I can't help but picture her new scary-serious face when I read that text. I think I can count on her being relentless about this. And it isn't like she is wrong. Maybe a relentless trainer is exactly the motivation I need. Most of the other people in my life tend to back off when I deflect this issue because they feel bad for me, but I don't think she will. I do need to do something about my health. Saki really wouldn't like it that I'm not. I wake up early anyway. I guess I can meet her at the track tomorrow, give things a try.

I type out my reply:

"Will you be at the track at 6:30 tomorrow?"

"I will! Are you going to come?"

"Yes, I will come give it a try."

"Okay, see you then!"

What did I just get myself into?


The next morning I arrive at the track around 6:25 a.m. Emi is already there stretching. She waves at me cheerfully when she spots me. She is wearing a red and white Yamaku track outfit, and is sporting her running blades. If she had twintails instead of a ponytail, this would be a carbon copy of the morning I tried to run with her 16 years ago. Let's hope it goes a little better than that.

I start stretching next to her. "So, what are you going to have me do today?"

"I don't quite know yet. I need to ask you a few questions first."

"Okay, that makes sense."

"When is the last time you did exercise like this? I guess in your case, when did you last swim?"

"Um…it has been about six years."

"...YEARS, Hisao? She lightly slaps my arm. What the hell have you been doing?"

I do my best not to show any emotion on my face, but apparently it didn't work, because she figures out why I stopped swimming.

She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Oh…here I am putting my foot in my mouth about this again. Don't worry about it Hisao. I mean it's not great, but I can work with it."

I give her a nod, so she continues.

"So since it has been awhile, I think today you should just do one lap. I don't even want you to run the whole time. Just run on the straight parts of the track and cool down on the curves. If you feel like anything is wrong, get my attention and I will check on you. Sound good?"

I nod again.

"Alright then, let's get started, Nakai!" she says with some serious drill sergeant energy.

While I do the routine she instructed, she does what must be her usual morning routine. I lose track of the number of times she passes me in the time it takes me to complete my single circuit. She is still the fastest thing on no legs.

Once I am done with my lap, she comes bounding over. She is barely out of breath, while I am breathing heavily. I don't feel too bad though.

"Here, let me listen." She pulls a stethoscope out of her bag. I guess that's what she meant when she said she would check on me. She puts it on and listens to my chest for a few moments.

"It sounds good. You definitely got it pumping and the rhythm is good, nothing irregular going on. Cool down on the bench for a minute while I finish."

She puts the stethoscope away and gets back on the track for at least 4 more laps and then she runs some sprints.

When she is done, she comes over to the bench, sweaty and a little bit out of breath. I am glad to see that even she has her limits.

"So, how was it?"

"Good, I think. It felt good to get even that little bit of exercise."

"Glad to hear it! So you'll be back here tomorrow?"

"I will."

She stands up and wipes her face with a towel.

"Okay, I will write you up a fitness plan, so you can see how we will gradually increase your routine. We need to get you to the point where you can do about an hour of cardio a day. I will bring it with me tomorrow. See you then!" She starts to walk off towards the gym, where she must be going to take a shower.

"Hey, Emi?" I call out after her.

She turns around, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for this. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, I want to get you healthy. See you tomorrow!"


I am sitting down on the bench cooling off while Emi finishes her routine.

I have been training with Emi every day for about two months. I am now at the point where I can run for three laps without stopping. I haven't had any heart flutters or anything.

Every day we stretch together, she reminds me what I am supposed to do, and she listens to my heart when I finish.

We don't talk a whole lot other than exchanging pleasantries and small talk and it is starting to make me feel a bit awkward. We see each other almost every day but we barely talk. I would like to change that. She has really gone out of her way to help me, even making me a fitness schedule and monitoring my health during these runs. I should really do something for her. Luckily I have a plan for that.

When she finishes her routine and sits down next to me to drink her water I ask, "What do you normally do for lunch?"

"Hm? Oh, it depends. Today I was just going to grab something from the cafeteria. Why?"

"Well you've really done a lot for me, so I wanted to do something for you. I made enough lunch for both of us today. We could meet up later and have lunch."

She hesitates, and for a moment I think she is going to tell me she can't make it. I don't know whether it is his her gluttony or guilt that gets to her, but eventually she agrees.

"Okay, that sounds good. Where should I meet you?"

"Do you remember the room where Hanako and Lilly used to eat their lunch? I think Lilly called it their "tea room."

She laughs, "Man, there's two people I haven't thought of in forever. But yeah, I know the spot. See you there at lunch. And Hisao? You're doing really good with this fitness plan."

...

When I get to the tea room, Emi isn't there yet. I've been eating my lunch in here for a few weeks. It really hasn't changed at all. The few times I joined Hanako and Lilly in here all those years ago it had a really relaxing atmosphere, and it still does. It is quiet, and has a large window with a great view.

It's also the place where Saki first opened up to me about her ataxia and the place where we embraced each other for the first time. Even if that last part was kind of an accident. I smile at the pleasant memory.

A few of my fellow teachers have invited me to lunch, and I go sometimes. But I feel more comfortable here most of the time. I guess I'm still not too good at putting myself out there and making friends. Emi's the closest thing to a friend I have here at Yamaku.

Soon I hear a knock at the door and Emi sticks her head in. She smiles when she sees me.

"Oh good, I got the right room this time." She laughs. "I thought I knew where it was, but I got it wrong the first time. Luckily no one was in there."

She comes in and sits across from me, eagerly eying the bento boxes.

I slide hers over to her. "Have you ever had pasta carbonara?"

"Had it? I don't think I've even heard of it. I am not the most worldly when it comes to food. I mostly stick with Asian stuff when I cook. I am guessing this is Italian from the name?" She opens the box "Smells really good though, and I love pasta, so seems great to me."

"Yeah it has bacon and eggs in it, basically."

She nods and digs in with her usual gusto, and doesn't talk until she is finished.

"This was really good Hisao, thanks." She takes a moment to look around the room.

"What ever happened to Lilly and Hanako anyway?"

"Well, Lilly moved to Scotland, where her mom was from, before the end of our last year. Last I heard she is still over there. Teaching English, I think?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot that whole business with Scotland. She was actually going to help me with my English, but she ended up moving. Which sucked, because I ended up having to do remedial lessons."

I laugh, "Yeah, English was always my worst subject. I barely squeaked by. I could have used her help too."

"And Hanako? I remember we were all really worried when Lilly left, but she surprisingly started to come out of her shell and joined newspaper club, right?"

"Yep. She actually ended up going to the same university as me. We weren't really friends or anything, and we didn't have any classes together, but we ran into each other sometimes and made small talk. She was studying journalism. She seemed like she was doing quite well. I guess it turns out she wasn't the fragile girl everyone thought. I'm not too sure what she is doing now, though."

"Yeah, it is easy to lose track of people after all these years. I mean, before you started work here, you and I hadn't talked since graduation and we got along pretty well back in the day. "

"That's true. Thanks for everything. We may have lost touch for all that time, but you took me under your wing almost the moment I got here, and you didn't have to do it. My doctor is really happy with the progress I have made, and I've managed to get some people off my back. You're always welcome to have lunch with me. In fact, I would like it if you did."

Emi breaks eye contact with me, clearly uncomfortable with something I said.

"Hey, no problem Hisao. I am glad you are already starting to see results from your training. It is only going to get better from here. Soon you won't even need me. Well, I've gotta go. Thanks for the meal, see you tomorrow!"

"Sure thing, I wouldn't dream of missing and suffering your wrath."

Emi gets up, gives me a halfhearted wave and smile, and goes out the door.

What exactly happened there?

...

I get home for the evening, put down my things, and collapse on the couch.

That was a pretty long day. It was my first day as the advisor for the science club, and their meeting ended up going pretty long. It is nice that such a club exists now though. We didn't have one in my day. "In my day," huh? Jeez, I've gotten old.

I'm still not sure what happened with Emi. I told her she could have lunch with me if she wanted, and she basically ignored the invitation, told me we probably wouldn't be running together that much longer, and then ran away from me.

What made her so uncomfortable that she had to do that? I don't get it. As I replay our conversation in my head, the pieces start to come together.

Oh no…does she…? Yeah, I bet she thought I was hitting on her. That makes sense. I can even see why she would think that. We're both single and the the same age. I made her lunch, and told her I want to eat lunch with her more. She doesn't have to jump to any especially wild conclusions to misunderstand that. I will have to clear that up in the morning.


I arrive at the track the next morning, and Emi is there and seemingly as chipper as usual. But she is behaving a little bit differently towards me in subtle ways. When I go to stretch next to her, she tries to subtly increase the distance, and she won't look me in the eye. When I complete my run for the day she listens to my heart, but seems a bit uncomfortable that she has to get so close to me.

Once she finishes her routine, she quickly gathers up her things without saying anything except, "See you tomorrow!"

"Emi? Can I talk to you about something before you go?"

"Sorry Hisao, I'm really in a hurry. We can talk another time." She runs off towards the auxiliary building.

Wow, she is really trying to escape. I guess it makes sense, she must think I am about to confess to her or something. I wanted to do this a little more subtly, but I think if I don't tell her this now, she is going to quickly disappear from my life, and I don't want that. I could try texting her, but I suspect she wouldn't believe what I say if she can't see me say it.

I raise my voice so she can hear me, as the distance between us is quickly increasing. What is the best way for me to say this in the fewest words that get my point across?

"I...don't want to date you!" Hopefully that works.

This causes her to freeze in her tracks and turn around on the spot. She closes the distance between us as quickly as you'd expect from the Fastest Thing. As she gets close enough for me to make out her face, it is the angriest I have ever seen her. Oh boy.

"Don't yell something like that. Anyone could hear you, including our coworkers and students." She looks around, confirming no one is watching or listening.

"Did I hear what I thought I heard?"

"Yeah...I don't want to date you. I noticed I made you really uncomfortable yesterday. Then today you were acting really strange. I thought maybe you thought I was hitting on you when I said I would like it if you would join me for lunch more often. I wasn't."

She crosses her arms and looks up at with skepticism in her eyes. "So…you weren't hitting on me when you made me lunch and said you want to spend more time with me? Because that's sure as hell what it sounded like, Hisao."

"No. I realized later it might have sounded that way. But I…I'm not even interested in that kind of relationship. With anyone. I do want to spend more time with you. I'd like to talk to you more and have lunch with you. But I just want to be friends."

She narrows her eyes and analyzes my face closely. "You seem like you're being honest, but I'm not sure."

"Why would I lie about this? Wouldn't I just confess to you if I felt that way? If my goal was to date you, what good would it do for me to say that I don't want to date you?"

"Hm. I don't know, maybe you're playing some kind of mind games, Hisao. It wouldn't be the first time a guy tried to pull that."

I sigh in frustration.

She laughs, "Alright, fine. I believe you. I thought it seemed a little bit out of left field. I mean, I've never even caught you looking at me that way, and I have a pretty good radar for that kind of thing." She winks at me. "You're on probation though, so watch yourself."

"What does that even mean in this context?"

"That I will be keeping my eye on you, make sure this isn't all part of some elaborate long-term plan to get me to fall in love with you." She smiles mischievously at me and then lets out a big sigh. "Truthfully, though, that is a big weight off of my shoulders. Since yesterday I have been very worried about this. I have enjoyed our friendship too. I like having you as a running partner. I also didn't want to reject you and make you feel bad. I felt like I was in a lose-lose situation, so I was thinking...maybe I'd just run away." She smiles at me. "Not having to worry about any of that definitely improved my day."

"I feel a lot better now, too. I was worried you weren't going to let me talk to you about it. I am glad this is all cleared up now."

She pats on me on the arm, "Yep. All clear. Now we can focus on running. That's what matters the most anyway, right?"

I chuckle, "Sure, Emi."

Chapter 4 (Hisao)

I have been training now with Emi every day for three months. I can now do four laps around the track with little difficulty. Physically, I feel the best I have in six years. This has all been good for my mental state too. I am really enjoying teaching here, my students and colleagues seem to like me, and I have been a lot less depressed.

For the last month or so I see Emi more than ever. We have lunch together most days. We even have a lunch schedule so we alternate who is responsible for our food on each day, and we have had fun trying eachother's cooking. We have even hung out outside of work a few times. We've gone to the Shanghai, she's helped me pick out some new running shoes in the city, and the last time I was in Sendai for a doctor's appointment she happened to be visiting her family and she met me for dinner. I also go to all of her club's athletic events. It is fun, and honestly kind of touching, to see her mentor other disabled athletes.

That might not sound like much, but compared to my social life the last few years, those are some big outings.

Our conversations rarely get very personal, but we talk about our jobs, food we like, TV shows, and stuff like that.

The Yamaku festival is coming up, and we will be going to that together too.

Emi is definitely my best friend here at Yamaku. And I think I am hers. She rarely talks about other people. In fact, she seems so isolated that I worry about her sometimes, but who am I to talk? So far, neither of us seems to want to broach personal subjects, and that's fine with me

Things are definitely looking up.

After my morning classes the day before the festival, I notice a student who doesn't usually seem to be especially interested in my lessons has stayed behind to talk to me.

"What can I do for you, Miss Matsui?"

She gives me a stiff bow. She looks nervous. Far more nervous than she normally looks when she talks to me. It's like she is about to speak to some high-ranking noble or a celebrity.

"N-nakai-Sensei, I am in the m-music club, and I p-play the v-violin. At the festival tomorrow, me and two of my classmates are going to perform one of the pieces written by your l-late wife, Saki Enomoto. W-we wanted to invite you to the performance." She grimaces. "I-I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier, but I only l-learned y-yesterday of your r-relationship to her."

She shows me the flier. It features a photo of Saki, with the years of her life underneath it, as if they are just some cold hard figures. It is the photo they always seem to use for these things. It must be the first one when you do a Google image search or something. It's the one they use when they talk about her accomplishments like they occurred in some fossilized, distant past. The one that always reminds me how wonderful she was, and how long it has been since I lost her. The one that reminds me how desperately I still miss her. The one that always reminds me I haven't followed through on my last promise to her. The one that reminds me that she would hate who I am now.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I need to calm down.

Matsui looks quite concerned. "S-sensei, are you okay?"

I stand there for a few seconds and control my breathing, and the pounding stops.

"Yes, Matsui. I am fine. But I need to be going."

I take the flier from her and mindlessly make my way up to the tea room. It feels like I have concrete shoes on. Each step takes maximum effort.

When I walk through the door, I lean my back against the wall, and slide down it until I am seated against it, and I cry with my hands on either side of my head and my head between my legs.

Emi gets there a few minutes later and sees the sorry state I am in. She runs over to me, clearly prepared for a medical emergency.

"Hisao! What's wrong? Is it your heart?"

"No, I did have an elevated heart rate for a minute, but it came down."

She frowns, "I…I don't understand, what are you doing on the floor then?"

I look up at her, and she sees the tears silently streaming down my face. Her face becomes wracked with worry and for some reason, there's also a hint of fear.

She sits down next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. It seems a little unnatural for her.

"Did something happen?"

"N-no. Not really. That's the problem. This was enough to do this to me." I show her the flier.

"One of my students in the band gave me this and asked if I would attend and I just…well, you see me. I broke down. Luckily I managed to make it up here before I completely lost my composure."

I look over at Emi, and she still looks concerned for me. But the fear I detected earlier is even more pronounced.

She fidgets with her pony tail. "Do you um… want to talk about it?"

She says the words, but she sounds like she's hoping I'm going to say 'No.' But I can't turn down her help right now.

"Yeah, maybe that would help. I…just still really miss her, you know? I'm…always a little sad about it, but then something like this comes up and pushes me over the edge. It isn't…rational, but it upsets me when one of these performances comes up, like she is some long-dead composer or something. No, it isn't even that…exactly. I mean that's part of it, but seeing her picture...and the years of her life. It reminds me that I am still like this, a complete mess, six years later."

Emi grimaces and thinks for a moment while massaging her neck. "W-well, grief can be really hard. I don't think you need to beat yourself up about it. It is hard enough dealing with the grief, you don't want to throw shame into the mix too, do you?"

"Y-you're right, but…the thing that really bothers me lately is a promise I made to her."

"A promise?"

"Yeah…one of the last things she ever said to me was that she wanted me to keep living life to the fullest, to take advantage of the time I have, to be happy, to find love again…and I promised her I would…" My silent stream of tears is starting to become a torrent now, they are making it difficult to talk.

"But…I…haven't…done..any..of…it." Emi puts her head on my shoulder and hugs me, trying to calm me down. It helps a little, and I regain enough of my composure to continue.

"I shut my life down in most ways when I lost her. I stopped swimming…I stopped going out…I stopped socializing...I stopped doing pretty much everything but working. I'm afraid to get close to anyone because I don't want to lose them like I lost her. She would hate who I have become. And I know that, and I still can't get my shit together and honor my promise to her. At all. I'm a fucking mess."

Emi is still hugging me, when she says. "Well, Hisao. Since you came back to Yamaku you have been doing some of those things, right? You are doing a better job of taking care of yourself since you started running, we have gone out and done some stuff together, and I'm a new friend aren't I? I mean, I guess a renewed friend is pretty close right? Anyway, the point is you're being too hard on yourself, okay?"

"Y…yeah, you're right. I have been doing better since I came back here."

Then her face gets serious, her voice gets sharp, and she pokes me in the ribs with her finger.

"Saki would never hate you for this. I don't want you to think that way. You're trying your best to honor your promise to her right? If you weren't, you wouldn't be this upset about it. You can't do anything more than try. Personally I think you're doing a pretty damn good job."

She hesitates for quite some time while she wrings her hands together and looks lost in thought.

"S-some days are worse than others, right? Like today. But grief isn't linear. I think you are trending in the right direction overall. Saki would understand, I think. So, try to focus on that."

"You're right. I keep wanting to just reach this point when I don't fall to pieces anymore, but I guess the most I can hope for is that it happens less."

She releases me from her hug.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. This helped, thank you."

"Good. What are you going to do about the concert?"

I sigh. "I'm going to go. That undoubtedly means they will make an announcement about how I am there and they will awkwardly ask me to stand up, but I think I can handle that. I do love her music, and I am so proud of what she accomplished. She would love that they are performing it at this festival, just like she used to do. I just…it's hard sometimes having people talk about her as some distant abstract idea...when she's…still so present for me…"

I shake my head in an attempt to break my negative train of thought.

"Anyway, yeah, so I will be doing that as part of the festival tomorrow. You can come with me to that part if you want…or we can meet up after."

She doesn't respond. I see the same look of fear on her face I saw earlier. Her eyes are darting around the room now, as if she's considering her best escape option.

"A-actually Hisao, I found out today that I won't be able to make it to the festival this year. Something came up."

She looks at her phone. "Oh shoot, I've gotta get going. Things to do. Your lunch is on the table over there, okay?"

She stands up and makes a break for the door, but turns around and looks at me with some concern. "You are okay, right?"

"Yes, Emi, I will be fine. Thank you." She looks relieved.

"Good. See you later!"

Well, that was confusing. First, she was exactly what I needed in a really low moment and helped pull me out of it. And then…she abruptly canceled our plans for tomorrow with a questionable excuse and looked like she couldn't wait to leave the tea room. It kind of reminds me of the time when she thought I was hitting on her. Surely that isn't what she thinks this time, given what we just talked about. She is so hard to read.


Chapters 5, 6, and 7

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2023 2:01 pm
by guthrum06
Chapter 5 (Emi)

I am in my apartment, switching to my running blades. I don't normally go for a run in the evening, but I really need to clear my head. It's a complete mess in there right now. I start my run, and try to process things.

It was really hard seeing Hisao like that today. I knew he was struggling with stuff that he didn't want to talk about, just like me, but I still didn't quite expect that. I didn't know he was hurting so much. Or that he was so hard on himself. That was especially heartbreaking. I was happy to help him think through everything, and to comfort him during such a hard moment. I think I helped. I was a good friend to him today.

But I was also a horrible friend. He opened up to me in a big way. Bared his soul to me. Showed me the part of him that is broken. It made me want to tell him about that part of me. That scared the shit out of me. So much that I canceled our plans and basically sprinted out of the room once I was sure he was okay. He invited me to go to an event where he could probably use some emotional support and I straight up turned him down.

This friendship is getting too real. It's already gotten too real. Why couldn't we just keep talking about every day life kind of things and running and eating lunch together? This is the point where he expects me to be open and vulnerable with him, but I don't do that. With anyone. I can handle my own stuff. I don't need to rely on anyone. I can't rely on anyone. I never have.

This is usually the point where I run away. I can just keep making excuses about why I can't have lunch with him, or run with him, until he gets it. Then I don't have to tell him anything.

But there's one thing he said that is making it harder than usual. What was it? He said that he was too scared to get close to anyone ever again, because he might lose them. That hit me so close to home.

Maybe he is someone I can open up to. It seems like he would understand me in a way no one else could. He understands grief, isolation, losing a loved one, the fear of loss, and depression just as well as I do. He's going through it all too. And he has been for years. Just like me.

Maybe he is the right person. I helped him today. Part of the reason I was able to help is because I've experienced the same feelings. It felt good. I want to help him more. Maybe he can help me? Maybe what we both need is a friend going through the same thing?

The fact I am even considering that must mean that he is the best friend I have ever had. God, that's pathetic. We've only been friends for three months and he might be my best friend ever? I should get us some matching bracelets.

I get back home and change out of my running blades and get in the shower, where I continue to think about my situation.

I can see myself actually telling him…everything. I am scared as hell, sure. But even the fact I can picture it is more than I can usually do. Normally I wouldn't be having an inner monologue about this at all. It would just be a done deal. Friendship over, on to the next one.

I get myself dried off and get in bed and stare up at my ceiling fan.

But…I want to be there for him tomorrow. I want to tell him about me. He'll understand. It feels right with him. Especially after what he showed me today. Maybe it's okay if I let him help me. I can do this.

I pick up my phone and type out a text to Hisao, "Good news! Turns out I will be able to go to the festival after all." But then I delete it and throw the phone to the other side of my bed.

I need to sleep on this. This is a big decision. There will be no going back if I decide to open up to him. If I still feel the same way tomorrow, I'll go to the festival and support him. And maybe even tell him what I never tell anyone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My alarm goes off, and I open my eyes to my bedroom, bathed in light from the sun. I can hear the birds singing. Do they have to sound so happy?

It is 7:30 a.m. I haven't slept this late in a long while. Hisao and I decided to take a day off from running because of the festival. He's earned it. I have been impressed with his steady progress. He hasn't missed a day, and he is really improving his form. And his heart too, which is a lot more important.

Ugh, Hisao. As I become more awake, I remember yesterday's events, and the decision I'm struggling with. I'm still not sure what to do. I get up, put my legs on, and head towards the kitchen with a big yawn.

I curl up on the couch with my breakfast and try to distract myself with some crappy television. It isn't working. Maybe I should go for another run? I feel like I made some progress yesterday during my run, but now I'm feeling horrible. My options are not good. They are:

1. Stop being friends with Hisao.

2. Do what is the scariest thing in the world for me.

Just as I'm trying to decide which of these awful choices appeals to me more, my phone beeps. It's Hisao. Of course it is.

"I wanted to apologize for being such a mess yesterday and dumping all of that on you out of nowhere. I could tell it freaked you out, and I can't really blame you. I know seeing such an exemplar of masculinity break down like that must have been a real shock."

I almost spit out my tea when I read the last sentence. Dammit, he knows just how to get to me, I can't help but reply.

"Yeah I normally expect to see a guy like you outside chopping firewood, out drinking with the guys, practicing martial arts, fixing cars or lifting weights in the gym. I never imagined I would see such a manly-man cry. It was a truly shocking moment. 😊"

I think about what to say next. Whatever I say next is critical, because I do have to address his apology and the real issue at hand. I spend several minutes typing out a response, starting from scratch several times. But in the end I go with:

"You don't need to apologize. You're right that it made me uncomfortable, but that's on me, not you. You were just telling your friend what you were going through. I'm a little inexperienced when it comes to that kind of thing. I hope I helped a little despite my awkwardness."

He responds, "You did. Quite a lot actually. Thanks."

I try to psyche myself up. Okay. I'm going to do this. I have to. If I don't tell him I won't ever tell anyone. He's nice, understanding, and knows what I am going through better than almost anyone. It also doesn't hurt that he doesn't have the ulterior motive of trying to get in my pants.

"So hey, that thing I thought I had to do today. I don't have to do it anymore. So I can meet you at the festival later after all. What time is the performance?"

"4 p.m. I'm glad you can come. See you there."

I put down the phone and sigh. I'm really scared. I'm going against what every fiber of being is telling me. But maybe that's a good thing. So far listening to my first instinct about things hasn't exactly been great for me when it comes to my personal life.

I can do this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm at the Yamaku festival standing near the band's stage. I'm trying to find Hisao. I scanned the seats and the surrounding area, but I didn't see him. Maybe he isn't here yet?

"Hey! Emi!" I hear his voice but I still can't see him.

Oh, there he is, waving at me. He's sitting in the front row. I didn't even consider that that is where he would be for this so I didn't look. I guess it makes sense that they wanted him to sit there. I guess he is sort of a guest of honor. Still...given what happened to him yesterday, I wasn't sure he wanted to be on display.

I walk up to him and take a seat next to him. I smile at him and squeeze his shoulder as I sit down.

"So…how you doing?"

He smiles. "I'm okay. Now that I'm here and not ruminating about it I feel alot better. I'm even mostly looking forward to this. I think."

"Good."

Not long after that, the music teacher announces the short program for the day. The second half of the show will feature music Saki wrote. If I'm being honest, I didn't even realize Saki wrote music until Hisao told me about it. But it's pretty cool she did something that everyone will remember. After a few songs have been performed, it becomes time for the Saki section of the program. I feel Hisao starting to shift nervously in the seat next to me as the music teacher approaches the microphone and begins talking about Saki.

"The next few songs were written by one of our most distinguished alumni, Saki Enomoto. She wrote dozens of songs that are now performed regularly by orchestras throughout the world. She accomplished this despite having a rather difficult disability, so she is an excellent example of how our students at Yamaku can accomplish anything." She bows her head solemnly, "Unfortunately, Ms. Enomoto's condition also caused her to leave us far too soon."

Throughout this introduction, I can feel Hisao becoming increasingly tense. He has a smile on his face, but there's something…else behind it. It's like he's wearing a mask. I can see the cracks in it. Is that what I look like when I feel terrible but pretend everything's fine?

"However, her husband, who also happens to be our science teacher, is here with us tonight. Would you please stand Mr. Nakai?"

She gestures towards where me and Hisao are sitting. Hisao stands up. He's doing his best to smile, wave and maintain his composure, and I think it's working for anyone who doesn't know him. But I can see that he is just putting on a show. The cracks in his mask get larger the longer he tries to put on the act.

The music teacher bows in our direction, "Thank you so much for coming. I hope you will enjoy the performance. Your wife was an amazing woman, and we are happy to honor her tonight. Think of this as a small gift to honor your late wife and the major contributions she has made to music, and the inspiration she is to so many students today."

Hisao sits back down, and looks relieved this moment is over. He glances over at me. I give him a confident nod to tell him he did a good job.

The band starts performing Saki's songs, and Hisao looks genuinely happy as he listens to the performance. I suppose he probably knows all of her music, and is enjoying hearing it back here at the place they met. It probably brings back good memories for him. He's quite proud of her. The music does sound good, though I know very little about this kind of thing.

The last song is performed by just three members of the band. Two violins and a piano. It is pretty amazing that Saki wrote all of this stuff by age 28. I'm in my mid-30s now and I haven't done anything even close to as impressive. She really was incredible. I can see why he would love her so much.

I look over at Hisao when the last song ends. He's applauding, and he's still smiling, but I can see tears forming in the corners of his eyes before a few trickle down his cheeks. That last song must have been really special for some reason.

I lean over and say "That was really good. I'm glad I came. You did a really good job getting through this."

He smiles at me and wipes away the few tears that he shed.

"Thanks for coming."

The music teacher announces that the performance is over, and people start to leave. Hisao remains seated, so I do too. Once everyone is gone and the band is putting everything away, he walks up to the stage to talk to one of the girls who performed. Probably the one who is in his class.

"Matsui. That was a very good performance. She…would have liked it. Pass it on to your fellow performers."

It is amazing that he has the fortitude to do that after all the grief I saw in him yesterday. He got choked up a little bit, but for the most part he sounded quite confident. I guess it probably helps that she is his student.

"Th-thank you sensei. That means a lot c-coming from you. Thank you for coming."

"I'm very happy I did. Have fun at the festival. See you on Monday!"

He turns around and comes back to where I'm seated.

"So, what's the plan?" I ask.

"Well, I need to make an appearance at my class's stall. They actually happen to be serving takoyaki and gyoza, so we can get something to eat. After that, we can do whatever."

"Sounds good. You know I'm ready to eat." I say as I wink at him.

He laughs and leads the way to his class's stall. I don't know when I'm going to tell him everything tonight. But I know I'm going to.

...

We're sitting at one of the tables eating some delicious food prepared by Hisao's class.

"Wow, this is surprisingly good. I feel like it is way better than any of the festival food from back in the day."

He nods in agreement, "I agree. I'm actually impressed. I'll have to find out who did the cooking."

We finish eating and clean up our trash. It is now late evening, with the sky starting to turn orange.

"Where to next?"

"I dunno. Do you have any interest in the games?"

"Sure, that could be fun."

We spend the next hour or so playing all sorts of games. We try the shooting gallery, ball throwing, and darts. I win more than he does, which is satisfying. But he seems to be having a good time too.

Eventually we decide to get something sweet for dessert. So we get some ice cream and take a seat on a bench near the goldfish game.

He smiles at me, "This has been really fun, I'm glad you ended up being able to come."

I return his smile, "Me too."

He stares off in the direction of the goldfish game and says, "You know, I only ever got to come to this festival once. It was really special, though. It's…where I first spent some significant time with Saki. It was the first time I ever saw her perform. She was working at the goldfish game booth that day. She actually really liked fish. She secretly had a tank in her dorm room." He laughs, then sighs. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to reminisce so much. Between the concert and the goldfish game I'm having a hard time not thinking about that day."

"It's…okay, Hisao. I want you to be able to talk to me about this stuff. You..clearly need to. We're friends. And I…like learning about you. Getting to know you. So its fine." I manage to get the words out, but they don't sound very confident. Even that took a ton of effort. I'm kind of dizzy now.

He gives me a thankful nod.

"It is probably getting close to the firework show. Where should we watch them from?"

"I actually know the perfect place!"

"You're…going to say the roof, aren't you."

I wink at him, "How did you know?"

"Just a hunch!"

...

When we get up to the roof, we are surprised to see that no one else had the idea.

"Huh…that's weird…maybe students actually follow the rules these days?" Hisao says with a laugh.

I scoff, "Kids these days. They need to live a little."

We sit in the corner where me and Rin used to eat lunch as we wait for the fireworks. Is…this when I should tell him? We're alone. It's quiet. He just opened up some more to me about Saki…it feels like the right time. Just as I have gathered enough courage to do it, I hear a loud pop and light fills the sky.

We watch the fireworks together in silence. All the while I'm distracted, trying to figure out how I'm going to say what needs to be said. Eventually the fireworks are over, but I was lost in thought the whole time.

After the last firework, Hisao looks at me and says, "Shall we?"

"A-actually Hisao would you mind staying up here a little bit longer? I n-need to tell you something. Or...a lot of somethings."

"Uh...yeah, sure." His interest is clearly piqued. He looks curious, but also a little concerned and a little confused. Oh God, does he think I'm going to confess to him now? I better get this started before things get more awkward.

"I…have a lot I want to tell you. But I'm also really afraid to tell you. So I'm…just going to spit it all out. Do me a favor and don't interrupt, or I might lose my nerve."

He nods.

I stand up and look over the edge of the roof. I talk while I look out over Yamaku, with my back to him. I don't think I can make eye contact with him right now. "First, I'm…really sorry for how I behaved yesterday. You told me about your grief and everything you're dealing with, and it really scared me. Hisao I… never do that. I never open up to anyone. I never share my innermost feelings. Hell even my mom has to work super hard to get me to talk about that kind of thing. So, seeing you do it scared me. Because seeing you share your feelings so openly made me want to do the same. That's why I canceled our plans and bailed on you, once I thought you were okay. I…I didn't really have anything planned today. I just wanted to run away from the situation. I'm glad I overcame it and managed to be here for you today, but even that took a lot."

I take a deep breath.

"One thing you said yesterday really sticks out to me. You said you were afraid to ever get close to anyone ever again, because you were afraid you will lose them. Well, Hisao, you're looking at someone who has felt that way ever since she was a little girl. I don't recommend it. It is a lonely life. I don't think I've ever had what most people would call a close friend. I've never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month. I push everyone away when things get too real. That's what I tried to do to you yesterday." I feel tears starting to well up inside of me, but I have to get through this.

"Hisao, I've never really talked about this with anyone. And the fact that I am comfortable doing it with you is something very special. That's how I know you're…my best friend. The best friend I've ever had. I've never talked about any of this with anyone. Not even Rin. I know that's pathetic, since we've only really been friends for three months. But apparently, that's how it is. You just said so much yesterday that made me realize that you're the right person for me to talk to about this. W-we are dealing with similar issues, I think you could say."

I force myself to turn around and face in his general direction, but I look at the ground because I still can't quite work up the courage to look at him.

"W-when I was 11, I was in a car crash. Complications from my injuries are why I lost my legs. B-but th-that w-wasn't the w-worst th-thing that h-happened to me that day." My lip is trembling. Oh no, here comes the tears. I gather myself and manage to maintain my composure, at least briefly.

I quietly say "I also lost my d-dad. I still miss him every day. I still hurt every day." The second I get these words out, what little composure I maintained is gone, and I start sobbing uncontrollably. I collapse on the ground in a heap. I put my head between my legs and cry like I haven't cried in a long time. I've never cried like this in front of someone else.

After a few seconds I feel Hisao come sit on the ground next to me. He hugs me and rocks me until I'm done crying. Like I did for him yesterday. Eventually, I feel some relief from the pain I just shared with him.

Once I've calmed down he says, "Emi, I had no idea. That's…really hard. You've been dealing with this for so long all on your own?"

I look up at him, "Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, it means a lot that you felt you could tell me. I'm glad you did. You had some really good insights about stuff when I was so upset yesterday, and now it all makes sense. We're both struggling with grief."

I nod at him, "Yeah, that's what I realized yesterday. That's why I had to tell you. I feel…so much better now that I did." I smile at him.

"Yeah, I had a similar feeling yesterday. What do you say we get up off the ground so I can give you a more proper hug?"

We get up and he puts his arm around me, I rest my head on his chest for a few moments before we break the hug.

"I'm glad you came back to Yamaku, Hisao. This friendship is…it's very special, and important to me, especially after the last two days."

"I'm glad we're friends again too. It has been really nice. And I guess it turns out we have more in common than we thought."

"Alright, enough with the sappy stuff Nakai. It's getting late, and we have to run in the morning! Let's get the hell off this roof."

Chapter 6 (Hisao)

I have now been running every day for five months. I'm up to five laps around the track, and I am on schedule to continue adding distance to my runs.

It's been two months since Emi and I opened up to eachother about our grief. We've become a lot close in that time. I still can't believe how much we have in common. We both lost someone very dear to us, and we struggle with what that means every single day. I am still amazed that Emi has never relied on anyone for support through all of her struggles. I'm happy I can be that person for her, and that she can be there for me. We talk a lot about the person each of us lost, and how much we miss them. We talk about how hard it can be sometimes just to get through the day without them. It makes us both feel a lot better about things.

We see each other every day for our morning run and lunch, and on days when we can manage it we like to hang out at the Shanghai or go for a walk in the evening. On the weekends we often go on outings into the city. We have busy lives of course, but when we are both free, we tend to be together. At this point, we've been seen together so often that our colleagues and many of the students think we are dating.

I'm very worried about her this morning. She didn't show up for our run, and she didn't text me anything to let me know what might be going on. I guess she might be sick or something, and really needed the sleep, but this still feels pretty strange.

I do my routine for the day. Emi doesn't really check my heart anymore unless I feel funny or something, as it has become clear this gradual building up of my stamina is working, so it isn't dangerous for me to do on my own.

...

Emi also didn't show up for lunch today. I didn't want to be a bother when she might be sleeping earlier, but now I'm getting worried. I send her a text:

"Hey Emi, everything okay?"

She doesn't respond during my lunch break.

...

Once classes are done for the day, I notice she still hasn't responded. Alright, now I'm definitely worried. I decide to swing by the medical offices to see if she might be there, but she isn't. And apparently she didn't come in today.

I try to call her as I walk back down the hill, but she doesn't pick up.

I have to check on her. We haven't really spent much time at each other's places, we tend to go somewhere else when we spend time together, but I know where she lives. Hopefully I'm not overstepping here.

I knock on the door, but there's no answer.

"Hey, Emi? Its Hisao. I just want to see that you're okay and then I'll leave you alone, alright?"

I knock again. This time I hear the familiar thumping sound that her prosthetics make. She opens the door a crack. From what I can see of her, she looks awful. There are big rings around her eyes and they are bloodshot. Her normally very neat and tidy hair resembles a bird's nest.

"Here Hisao. See me? I'm okay. Now just...go away, please." She starts to close the door.

"Emi…you don't look okay. Is there anything I can do to help?"

She sighs. "I don't know. As you can apparently tell, I'm in a pretty bad place right now, I don't think you want to deal with me."

"Emi, come on. We've been over this. We're completely open with each other now, remember? Didn't you say that it was helping you? Haven't you helped me when I was in a really bad place? At least let me try to talk to you about what's going on. You can always just tell me to leave, so there's no harm in trying right?"

She sighs again. "Fine, Hisao. You can come in. The place is a mess, though. Watch your step."

I'm relieved that she finally let me in, but she wasn't lying when she said the place was a mess. It doesn't look like she has cleaned up in a while, and there's trash on the floor in many places. Its like she couldn't be bothered to actually throw anything away. I…recognize this kind of mess. After I lost Saki, at the height of my depression, I lost all desire or interest in keeping my surroundings neat and tidy. It's amazing how hard something as simple as throwing away trash is when you're really depressed. She must have been doing really poorly the last several days.

Emi walks over to the couch, where she seems to have constructed a nest of sorts using blankets and pillows. She sits down, takes off her legs, and curls up in her nest, pulling a blanket over herself so I can't see her face or any other part of her."

"Sorry about not making it to our run or lunch today, Hisao. I'll be back tomorrow probably. I always bounce back."

"You don't need to apologize. Clearly you're not having a great day. It happens."

She nods.

"Have you eaten anything today? Do you want me to get you something?"

"No. Not hungry."

"Well, now I know something's really wrong." I joke. But I get no response. "I'm sorry Emi, I shouldn't have tried to be funny."

Still no response.

"Okay Emi, I'm going to leave you alone now. If you want to talk about this, give me a call, okay?"

Emi faintly says something, but I can't quite make it out.

"What was that?"

"Don't go. Just stay a little longer. I'm trying to work myself up to tell you about this. I want to tell you. But it's hard. Just give me a little bit."

"Okay. I will stay here until you're ready to talk. Can I use your table to do some work?"

I see movement under the blanket, which I can only assume is a "Be my guest" gesture.

I sit down, get my laptop out, and do my usual evening routine. I respond to some emails, and look over my lesson plans for tomorrow.

Once I have completed the work I need to do, I notice an hour and a half has passed. Just when I was about to check to see if she had fallen asleep, Emi stirs. She pulls her blanket down so I can see the top of her head and her eyes, and she locks them on me. I turn towards her so she knows I am ready to listen.

"The anniversary is next week."

Anniversary? What? It doesn't look like she is going to elaborate any more on it either. She wants me to figure it out. Suddenly it dawns on me.

"...the anniversary of the crash?"

She nods.

I get up and sit next to the blanket-covered Emi.

"I see. Is it like this for you every year around this time?"

She pulls her blanket down a little farther, past her mouth, probably realizing it was muffling her speech. This must mean she is ready to talk more.

"Pretty much. If anything, it has gotten worse with time. I didn't usually end up missing a whole day of work until the last few years." She sighs. "I get really depressed around the anniversary. The pain and the sadness is magnified…I dunno, 10 times or something. But…that isn't even the worst part."

Tears are welling up in her eyes now, as she looks off in the distance at nothing in particular.

"I…have these dreams…or, well…nightmares. About the crash. It's like…I am reliving the worst day of my life. Every detail of it." She turns and looks at me and repeats it for emphasis, her voice cracking. "Every. Detail." She starts crying quietly, and I put my arms around her. She continues crying into my shoulder.

"...I can't even imagine how difficult that is. That happens every time you try to sleep around this time of year?"

She nods slowly.

"They are…so v-vivid. I…usually wake up crying…sometimes my own s-screams wake me up." She sighs and looks down, "I feel like a crazy person."

"You aren't crazy. What you are is incredibly strong. I already thought you were, but hearing this? Just…wow."

She breaks at our hug and looks at me perplexed, as if she missed a step somewhere in the conversation.

"I can't imagine having to relive something like that even once, but you do it several times a year? And some how you manage to live your life, go to your job and help people? And you've still been helping me get in shape and everything? Even these last few days when things have been so hard? That's amazing."

She only looks partially convinced. "I..guess. Do you ever have dreams about your worst day?"

"I don't, actually. We might have a lot in common when it comes to dealing with grief and our fears about losing people, but what you went through was so much more traumatic. You had this horrible unthinkable thing happen to you out of nowhere. You saw…horrible things. And you were just a little girl."

"It's not a contest Hisao, what you went through was really hard too."

"I know, I'm not disputing that. I'm only saying it's different. What happened with Saki…it was planned, I always knew it was coming. It was a controlled environment. That makes the nature of it a lot different. A lot less traumatic."

She nods, "I guess that makes sense…"

"So, are you sleeping at all?"

"N-not last night. Or today. Normally the dreams disturb my sleep, but they don't just keep coming, and I can at least get some sleep. I can usually get up and go for a short run or something, clear my head, and go back to sleep. Last night…the dream wouldn't stop. Every time I fell asleep I was back in it. I'm really really afraid to go to sleep again. I can't see it again, Hisao." She starts crying again, I put my arm around her and she leans into my hug as she continues to sob.

I start to tear up a bit myself. How could anyone possibly endure this? I gave up a long time ago on the universe being fair. But this? It seems outright cruel. Hasn't she been through enough without seeing a neverending rerun of the worst thing that ever happened to her?

"I wish there was something I could do to make it stop, Emi. I really do."

She sniffles a little bit and smiles, the closest to her normal self she has looked all night. "Well, you aren't superman Hisao. Or…whatever superhero does dream stuff. But…just talking about it has helped some. Crying about it with you has felt like a release. I feel less insane at least. And that's something. So you did help."

She laughs a genuine Emi laugh, though she sounds a bit unhinged, probably the sleep deprivation getting to her.

"Who knew actually talking about your feelings and problems, not bottling them up, and getting help with them can make you feel better? We're the first ones, right?I think we should write a book or something."

I laugh and she fully emerges from her blanket cocoon and gives me a proper hug. "Thanks, Hisao."

"So you're feeling better?"

"Better? Yes. All better? No. You aren't a miracle worker. I think I will sleep a little at least."

"Ouch, so I found out tonight I am neither a superhero nor a miracle worker. My dreams have been crushed."

She giggles and releases her hug.

"It's getting late. You should probably get going. I am going to try to get some sleep tonight. If all goes well, you will see me at the track in the morning. But even if I'm not, you better run your damn laps, Nakai!" She mock slaps me on the arm.

"Whoa, hey, I did this morning, you know! I will tomorrow too. But I really hope you're there."

"Me too." She waves me towards the door, "'Night Hisao."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I am relieved to see Emi is there before me. She definitely looks like she slept like crap. But sleeping like crap is far better than not sleeping at all.

"Glad you made it today Emi, guess you got some sleep?"

She nods. "We can talk some after we run. Now do your laps Nakai!"

Same old Emi.

We've both completed our run for the day, and we're sitting together on the bench hydrating.

She reaches out and puts a hand on my arm. "Thanks again for coming by yesterday, Hisao. I really needed it. My sleep wasn't perfect, but it was far better than the night before. I think you really helped."

"Yeah, of course. I was really worried about you, glad I could help in some small way."

"I'm sorry I didn't respond to your texts or answer the phone yesterday. I…need to do better with that. I have come a long way when it comes to talking about my…stuff and letting you support me. But my instinct sometimes is still to shut you out. To lock myself in my apartment and deal with it on my own. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in misery. Old habits die hard I guess. I tried to shut you out yesterday." She smiles at me. "I'm glad you were too stubborn for it to work."

"Emi, you were having a really tough day. I get that it can be hard sometimes on days like that. I wasn't offended or anything."

"Okay, good. But I do want to do better. I'm working on it."

Chapter 7 (Emi POV)

It has been six months since Hisao started running with me every morning. He can now run six laps without rest, which is really great given where he was six months ago.

I have been really impressed with his determination to do this. Before he came back to Yamaku it sounds like he given up on himself. Now, he's actively trying to make himself better.

I'm doing a lot better too. Hisao and I have become really close friends, and for the first time I have someone who I can tell everything to. Who I want to tell everything to. He's someone I trust. And that's an exceedingly rare thing for me.

I'm waiting for Hisao in the tea room. It was my day to make lunch for us, and I went with a new soba noodle sesame shrimp stir fry. Normally I wait for Hisao, but I'm starving and he's late. He knows I'm generally a rude person anyway. Just as I'm about to dig in, Hisao walks in.

"Sorry I'm late, had a student who is very worried about the next test and he had many questions."

He sits down, and we both dig in.

After his first few bites, Hisao exclaims "This might be the best lunch I have ever had."

I raise my eyebrows. "Seriously? I mean I think it's good, but that seems like hyperbole."

He smiles, "Hey, I'm serious! The shrimp is really well seasoned and cooked. People mess up shrimp a lot in stir fry, by overcooking it, and you didn't."

"Well I'm glad you like it so much," I say with a laugh.

After a few more minutes of silent eating, he says, "Well, I hate to cut this short, but I need to go meet with the librarian about books to put on hold for my students to use. I guess I won't see you again until our run tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I don't think so. Have track practice this evening. So yeah, see you tomorrow!

...

I just got home from track practice, and I'm exhausted. Kids these days are much less interested in putting in the work to unlock their full potential. Motivating them can be exhausting sometimes.

Of course, I guess Miki was like that during my days on the track team. Maybe it isn't a generational thing. But it's so much easier to blame it on that.

I get into my apartment, take off my legs, and collapse on the couch.

I need to take a shower…but that would involve moving. So…yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen. I start dozing off, but I come back to full attention when my phone vibraes on the table next to me. I grab it and answer it without opening my eyes.

"Hrm…hello?"

"Hey Emi. It's Hisao. Did I wake you up?"

"Kinda, but it's okay. What's up?"

"Some…stuff happened today, and I'm really not coping very well." He sounds upset. I didn't notice before because I was half asleep. I'm a little worried now.

"Oh, do you want to talk about it? We can talk on the phone, or I could come over. Whichever."

"Yeah, I could really use one of our talks right now. You sound tired, so we could just do it on the phone."

"No, no I'm fine. I'm coming over."

"Okay. Thank you, Emi."

I laugh, "Don't thank me yet. I haven't done anything. I'll be over there soon, okay?"

We say our goodbyes. As I put my legs back on I start to wonder what might have happened. I really hope he's okay. I hope that I can help him.

As I am about to walk out the door, an idea strikes me. I have some of that stirfry he loved so much left over still. He sounds like he needs it. I package it into a bento box and head out the door.

"Come on in."

When Hisao answers the door, his voice is devoid of emotion. He looks pretty rough too. His hair is even messier than it usually is, his clothes are all wrinkled, and I can tell he has been crying. Probably fully clothed in bed. I really hope I can help him.

I give him my best smile. "Hisao, have you eaten? I had some leftovers from that lunch you liked so much today so I brought them. You're probably going to want to reheat them, though." I hand him the lunch box.

He gives me a small smile, which given his current mood is probably equal to a rictus grin. "Thanks Emi, I'll go reheat them. Make yourself comfortable in the living room."

This is my first time in Hisao's apartment, so I snoop around the living room a little. It is rather small and spartan. Most of the room is devoid of decoration or personality. But, there is one corner of the living room that is very vibrant. Somewhere where he did his best to make sure it looks nice. It's hard not to be drawn to that corner.

The centerpiece of that corner is a bookshelf. It mostly contains music books, and it features lots of pictures of Saki and Hisao looking absolutely in love with each other. Some of them date all the way back to Yamaku. They were super adorable together back in high school, and I can see that didn't change when they got married. On top of the bookshelf there is a violin on display. I don't know much about violins, but this one looks like it has been taken very good care of. There isn't a speck of dust on it. As I examine the bookshelf, things click for me. I pull out one of the books and see that it's a collection of Saki's songs. All of these books are hers. And the violin is hers too. It's a little shrine to the wife that he misses so desperately.

My heart already aches for how much Hisao misses her, but seeing this somehow makes it even more tangible. I know he says I'm strong, but he has to have some serious strength too. He did the thing that I fear the most in the world. He let someone get close to him. Someone who he knew was going to die before he ever did. He signed up for a marriage that was always going to end in tragedy. That sounds like a lot more strength than anything I possess.

I sit down on the couch just as Hisao comes in with the food that I brought him.

He sits down at a small table and starts to eat. "Seriously Emi, I can't believe how good this is." That's the first time he has looked or sounded anything like his usual self. He must really like it. I'm not that impressed with it myself, but if it gets this reaction out of him when he's this down, I'm going to need to make it again in the future.

"I'm glad you like it."

We sit in silence for awhile while Hisao finishes eating. At which point he says,

"Alright, so. Let's talk about what I rudely dragged you out of bed for today."

I frown. "Hisao, it's not a big deal. I was just dozing, and it isn't even that late. So stop bringing that up, or I'm going to take it out on you on the track tomorrow. Now just tell me what's bothering you."

Another small smile.

"Okay, okay fine. Remember how I was going to meet the librarian during lunch today? Well, things got more…interesting than I bargained for."

"...interesting, how?"

"Well, we were just talking about some of the books in the collection that would be useful for my third-year students who are doing projects, and I wanted to make sure some of them were on hold so they could all easily get them and read them in the library, and no one else would check the out. This is something I've done several times, and I've met with Miss Watanabe a lot at this point. We've gotten fairly friendly in the time since I've been back. She actually has a lot of interest in science, so we talk about that sometimes when I'm in the library."

He sighs.

"Well, today…she confessed to me. Out of nowhere. I replied by making some excuse, and got the hell out of there."

"Well, that sounds awkward."

"It was."

"She's the busty young librarian right? She's like…22 or something? The one that many of the students drool over? That's some pretty impressive pull, Hisao."

I can see from the irritated look on his face that my line of thinking here isn't very helpful.

Come on, Ibarazaki! That's not the kind of guy Hisao is, and certainly not right now when he's still mourning his wife.

"S-sorry, that was...dumb of me to say."

"I just don't know what's wrong with me. Something inside of me...is broken." He puts his elbows on the table, tilts his head, and uses his hands to massage his temples. I hear him start to sniffle a little bit. He must be crying.

Way to go Ibarazaki, way to make a joke at the worst possible time!

I get up from the couch and go over to him, and put my hand on his back to comfort him. "What do you mean?"

"You were joking...but what you said a minute ago. It's...true. I should be willing to date this woman, if I wasn't broken. She's attractive, we have similar interests, I would even say I like talking to her. But before today I never saw her in that light. I…I…just don't see anyone in that light…anymore." He starts shaking as the tears begin to flow more readily. I hug him from behind and rest my head on his back. "I'm… trying really hard to honor my promise to her, Emi. But I…I just don't know if I can ever love someone again like that…I'm just… broken." He trails off and leans forward on the table, crying into his own arms. I can feel his body shaking with every sob.

"Hisao, did your promise to Saki have some sort of time limit?"

He seems caught off guard by my question. It causes him to stop crying for a moment. "W-what? No, not really." He laughs wrly. "She did joke that there needed to be 'an appropriate mourning period' first. He chuckles, and I laugh too.

Of course Saki made a joke on her deathbed. I wish I had gotten to know her better.

I stand back up and walk around so I can look in his eyes. But his head is still down, so I can't see much. "Well, if there was no time limit, is it really a big deal that you haven't moved on yet? Heck, maybe this still is part of the 'appropriate mourning period' she was talking about, right?"

He thinks about it for a second and then says, "I…guess it could be."

"It sounds like you still just aren't ready. And I think that's fine. If your instinct was not to return her feelings, I think its okay to go with that instinct. Just remember like I've said before, all you can do is try. You're doing your best. But you're still mourning Saki, and that's okay too." I glance over at the bookshelf in the corner of the room and have to do my best not to start crying myself, remembering what I was thinking when I was looking at those pictures.

"A little while back you told me how strong I was, because I could deal with my…trauma and I was still standing. I want you to know, you're really strong too Hisao. You've talked about how the trauma I've been through is unfathomable to you. Well for me, what you've been through is also hard to comprehend. You loved Saki so much that you married her despite knowing that you would lose her. I could never do that. It makes sense that you're still having such a hard time. The love you two had was clearly something really special."

He lifts his head up and says, half-jokingly, "That was a really good pep talk, Emi."

I smile at him, "You can joke about it, but I can tell it helped a little."

He lets out a small chuckle, "It did. I was just trying not to be too sentimental."

"Look, eventually the right woman will come along and it will feel right for you. You have plenty of time. And you know what? If you can find happiness without ever finding love again, that's great too. I don't think Saki would object to that. From what you told me of the promise, it was basically that you'd find happiness. I'm sure that's all she wanted for you. And sure, love was part of it, but it isn't necessarily a requirement."

He looks at me thoughtfully, I guess he has never really thought about it this way. It makes sense, he has been really fixated on the "find love again" aspect of the promise.

"You've also been doing a really great job these last several months Hisao. You're taking better care of yourself, you're getting out in the world more, you have the most awesome best friend in the world" I wink at him, "So focus on the successes a little bit more. You're just…putting a lot of pressure on yourself about this, and I think you should lay off of yourself at least a little bit."

"You're right." He sighs, "I do feel a strange sense of pressure about it, and that probably was never what Saki intended."

I nod in agreement.

He stands up and gives me a hug. "Thanks a lot Emi. I'm glad I dragged you out of bed." He seems mostly back to his usual self.

"No problem. You'd do the same for me. You…have done the same for me."

We break the hug.

"That's true, but I still appreciate it. Well, it is starting to get pretty late. I better get some rest or I might sleep through when I'm supposed to meet my fitness trainer tomorrow. She's a real hard ass, so I don't think I'd hear the end of it." We laugh together. It feels good that he is his usual jokey self now. It feels…fulfilling to help him and support him. I'm starting to get what this whole 'close friendship' thing is all about.

He walks me to the door, and just as I step out he says, "Again, sorry to ruin your image of me as a rugged paragon of masculinity."

I laugh.

"Hisao, get some rest. You better be at the track in the morning!"

Re: Learning to Run - Emi and Hisao Reconnect in their 30s.

Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2023 5:05 pm
by hdkv
I really like where it's going and will wait for next updates :)

Thank you!

... well, I did found out full story on fanfiction.net, but I'd like to see it here as well :)

Chapter 8 & 9

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2023 9:13 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 8 (Emi POV)

It is lunch time. It's Hisao's day to make the food, and I think he's bringing that carbonata thing…or whatever it is. Really freaking good is what it is. Damn I'm hungry.

Hisao arrives with the food in tow and slides me my lunch box, which I eagerly open

"Yessss! I thought it was going to be this. I was craving it hard."

Hisao laughs while I go to town on the food, enjoying every minute of it. Only once I come out of my food orgasm stupor do I realize that Hisao looks like he's in a really good mood. One of the best I've ever seen him in. It makes me smile.

"What has you so smiley?"

"Chisato and Mitsuru took a short vacation, and they're going to the beach. They invited me. And they want you to come too. Unfortunately since we're in the middle of the trimester I think we'll only be able to make a day trip out of it. But what do you say? Want to go to the beach on Sunday?"

"They…invited me?"

"Yep. They know how close you and I are now, and Chisato said they always liked you back in the day, and 'any friend of mine is a friend of theirs' anyway."

I'm actually not a huge fan of the beach. Partly because they aren't very prosthetic friendly. But it does sound kind of fun since Hisao will be there. He seems really excited about the idea of me going with him. And it would be nice to meet – well - become reacquainted with, Hisao's friends.

"Sure, that sounds like a good way to spend a Sunday."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had to leave early to get the most out of the beach today, and it was a bit of a pain, but now that we're here it looks lovely.

Mitsuru and Chisato have already staked out a nice spot on the beach, and we are trying to find them. I have had to wrap plastic around my prosthetics, because they can easily get damaged by sand and water, and I feel pretty silly as a result, but it is probably better than me crawling on my hands and knees.

Eventually we find them laying on towels and using one of the spots that are set up on the beach for people to rent. There's an umbrella over wooden patio furniture, including two chairs and a cabinet.

"Hey guys!" Hisao is excited to see his old friends. And they're excited to see him too. Chisato runs up to him and gives him such a hard tackle hug that I'm a little worried about Hisao's heart. Before long Mitsuru makes it a group hug. Its pretty cute, but I feel more than a little awkward being the odd one out. Eventually they break their hug and Chisato waves at me, and to my surprise she runs up and hugs me too.

"Hey Emi, it has been a long time. It's really great you and Hisao have reconnected."

She breaks the hug.

"Anyway, you guys need to change, right? The changing rooms are about 100 meters that way."

"Okay, we'll be right back." Hisao says, as we drop off some of our stuff on the beach and find our swimsuits in our bags.

I change into my swimsuit in the changing area. It's a string bikini that does a surprisingly good job of highlighting my rather modest breasts, and a really good job of showcasing my butt. I look pretty damn good, apart from the garbage bags I'm wearing over my prosthetics.

When I leave the changing room, Hisao is waiting for me in his swim trunks and a shirt. As we are walking back to the beach, Hisao tells me that he, Saki, Chisato, and Mitsuru went to the beach once when they were all at Yamaku, but Saki made them all miss their bus home. It seems to be a really good memory for him, and I can't help but laugh with him.

Chisato hears our laughter and turns around and says, "Welcome back, you two." Then her eyes dart from me to Hisao and back to me again. Is it just me, or does she have a mischievous grin on her face? Maybe that's just how she smiles, I don't think I know her well enough to tell.

I sit down on one of our chairs and take off my legs. I'm only going to bother with these damn things if I have to, but I mostly plan on lazing around on the beach, so I shouldn't really need them.

Hisao comes over and picks them up "Emi, is there somewhere you want me to put these? They can't get wet or sand in them, right?"

I let out a frustrated laugh, "That's right. We don't have to worry about any water or sand here though, right?" This prompts a laugh from everyone.

Mitsuru says, "Hisao, behind one of those chairs there's a wooden cabinet. You can put them in there."

He does so and I thank them both.

"Well, let's get sunscreen on you two. Would you like me to put yours on your back and neck, Emi?" It is nice of her to ask, though I feel more than a little awkward about it. Still, I do need to put some on. "Sure Chisato, thanks." I lean forward on the beach chair and she gets behind me, her legs straddling the chair. She starts to apply the sunscreen.

"Damn, you have quite the body. You're nothing but lean muscle and curves in just the right places. I'm jealous. I guess it's all that running, huh? Maybe I should be running too." She laughs.

I laugh, embarrassed, but I do genuinely enjoy the compliment. I am pretty proud of my body. "Thanks, you look really good too Chisato." She scoffs, as if her body could never compare to mine. But truthfully, hers is nice too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little envious of her much larger breasts.

Chisato finishes with me, and turns to Hisao. "Okay, your turn."

He takes off his shirt, and I realize this is the first time I've seen him shirtless. It is hard for my eyes not to be drawn to the prominent jagged scar down the center of his chest, and a more subtle scar on his left collar bone. After looking at those however, I notice he has a nice body. He is well on his way to having a classical "runner's body." He has the hint of some abs, and his legs are made up almost entirely of lean muscle. I feel some pride that I have helped him achieve these results.

Chisato is impressed with the results too, "Hisao, your body looks amazing too! Hey, Mitsuru, we both really need to start running every day, look at how hot these two are!"

Is she really…asking her husband to check me out? Oh well, I guess she's asking him to check out Hisao too.

He just laughs at her without actually looking at either of us. He's probably used to her silly behavior.

Then he asks, "Hey Hisao, do you want to come body surfing with me?"

"Sure." He turns to me, "Hey Emi, we're going to go bodysurfing."

"Have fun. I think I'm just going to stay here and enjoy the ambiance." Especially because I would have to basically crawl out to the water if I was going to join them. I honestly feel more like being lazy on the beach anyway, otherwise I could ask Hisao for some help.

Chisato adds, "I'm going to stay here too. Have fun boys!"

While Hisao and Mitusuru are body surfing, Chisato and I decide to get some sun. I get myself out of the chair, crawl over to a spot in the sun, lay out my towel, and lie down on my stomach, using my elbows to prop me up so I can see the ocean and the antics Hisao and Mitsuru are up to. Chisato does the same next to me. She doesn't waste any time starting a conversation.

"Soooo…you and Hisao have gotten really close huh?"

What the hell is up with that tone?

"Yeah, he's become my best friend. I really appreciate him."

She looks out towards where Hisao and Mitusuru are. "Yeah, he's a great guy. One of the greatest, really." She pauses for a moment, " I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"Well, when he was still living in Tokyo, he was in quite the rut. Actually, rut isn't the right word for it. He was deep in a trench, and he was refusing to come out. He was sullen, depressed, and not doing anything to take care of himself. The only thing that he liked or cared about was science and teaching. He became kind of a hermit. We tried so many things to try to help him, and none of it really worked. In fact, I think he was starting to resent us. I think he thought we pitied him. But if we really pitied him, I think we would have left him alone right? But anyway…point is, he is so much better from where he was. I've been able to tell when we talk on the phone or text. And I could definitely see it the moment he walked up with you. You have him exercising, going out in the world, and just…not moping all the time. I haven't seen him this happy, or even close to it since… well…since before Saki passed away..."

She gets choked up and takes a minute to use her towel to dab away a tear.

She turns to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. "So it's…good to see him this way again. I wasn't sure we ever would. So thank you. Truly."

I can see that she really cares about him, and that makes me happy.

"I'm really glad he is doing better. I saw him when he first got to Yamaku. He definitely wasn't doing great physically or mentally. But, to be honest he has really helped me too. We have had some similar experiences, and we really understand one another. So it's easy for us to support one another."

She gives me a mischievous smile.

"You guys are really just friends, huh? That's what he keeps telling me, but I thought maybe he was hiding something. Especially after seeing you two together today. But…it was the truth?"

"Yes, it's the truth." I say with more than a hint of annoyance. "I mean, we are really close. And I will say that sometimes I think 'best friend' doesn't quite do justice to how important he has become to me. But...there's nothing romantic going on."

The smirk on her face hasn't faded. In fact, it may have intensified.

"Really? You guys have never…y'know…done anything physical?"

What is wrong with this woman?

"What!? No. I mean, we give each other hugs when one of us is having a hard time, but that's all. It isn't even like we hug every time we see eachother or anything. We actually very rarely come into physical contact with each other."

Why do I feel the need to give her this much detail?

She's still smirking. I kind of want to punch her in her stupid smirking face.

Why am I so nervous?

"If you say so. I just...I don't know. I see the two of you talking, and joking around, and all smiles with one another. Especially today with you both looking really good in your swimsuits. It kind of felt like there was something else there."

Shit, she definitely saw me looking at Hisao earlier. Otherwise why else would she mention the swimsuit thing? She's not wrong that seeing him out here with nothing on but a swimsuit was surprisingly…satisfying for me. But that was just pride that he's in such good shape now, and I helped him get there. Right? RIGHT? Why am I blushing?

Chisato picks up on my silence, and has probably noticed that my cheeks have flushed. Maybe she'll just think it's the sun.

"Look, I just have one more piece to say and then I'll leave you alone about this, okay?" She doesn't wait for me to give her permission.

"You two spend all of your free time together. You love each other's company, you support each other through the hard times, you have lots of fun together in the good times. You're both making one another into better, happier people. You even just told me that 'best friend' isn't a strong enough word to describe your bond..."

Shit, I did say that didn't I.

"Maybe it is just Platonic. Maybe you're just supposed to be friends." She turns to me, and pushes down her sunglasses to make sure I see her eyes locked on me. "But I think it would be a real shame for both of you if you didn't at least think about seeing if something else is there."

I sit there in silence, flabbergasted by her suggestion and lost in thought. I want to push back, I want to tell her she's crazy, that there's nothing like that between me and Hisao. After all, we've been friends for more than six months and nothing has happened. But…I can't seem to formulate those words. Why can't I? What if she's right? I do care deeply about him. As much as I care about my family. Is that…normal for the kind of love you feel for a friend? Or is this…romantic love? I have so little experience with either kind of love, so how can I be sure?

I'm suddenly snapped out of my thoughts by Mitsuru and Hisao, who have returned from their adventure.

"Hey ladies. What have you two been talking about?" Mitsuru says with a wink.

The two of them…they set this whole damn thing up so that Chisato could get me alone and grill me about all this. Damn that's crafty. I still haven't managed to say a word since Chisato finished her little speech. I bet it really was a speech too. I bet she planned it out and everything. Probably practiced it. I can't help but be a little mad at them. But…at the same time, they are really close to Hisao, they've known him longer than I have, and they want what's best for him, just like me. So maybe…

"You okay, Emi? You've been pretty quiet for a while, that's not like you." He laughs. "You don't have heat stroke or something do you?" Hisao reaches for my forehead as if he's checking my temperature, but I dodge it, not wanting to see the undoubtedly smug look on Chisato's face right now.

"No, I'm fine Hisao. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Can you get my legs? I'll be right back"

If she says she's going to come with me, I'm going to flip.

Luckily she doesn't. Good. I just need some time alone. Even just a few minutes.

She dropped this bomb on me and…just the fact that I can't instantly refute what she had to say is surprising me. Doesn't that ALONE mean something?

I look at myself in the mirror of the bathroom. I look a little scared.

Come on Ibarazaki, pull your shit together! This day has suddenly become…confusing. But you can think about all this later. For now, let's just have fun at the beach. Yep. We got this. You have lots of experience bottling up your emotions, so let's do it today. Gonna just be a normal day from here on out.

When I get back to our spot on the beach, Chisato grabs Mitsuru's hand and they start to walk off "Hey, we're going to go for a walk. You two might want to put on some more sunscreen, by the way. It's time."

What a crafty bitch. Did she really plan this all out? It feels like she planned it out.

Hisao says, "She's right, this stuff only lasts like an hour, and we've been here for an hour and a half."

I stifle a sigh, since if I sigh about this he'll realize something is up.

"Here, let me take off my legs first."

After I remove them, he bends down to get them off the chair, and he looks up at me as I recline on the beach chair.

Did…his eyes just linger on me for a second? I don't think I've ever seen him look at me that way. Or am I just overthinking things again. Goddammit Chisato.

I steel myself as best I can and I say, "Okay Hisao, come here." He sits in front of me and I start applying sunscreen to his back and neck.

As I touch his back, I think about what I'm feeling. He really is in good shape now. I do definitely feel pride about it. I am really happy for him that he looks this way. But is it more than pride? Am I attracted to him? I've never really had occasion to touch him like this before. It does feel…kind of nice. It makes me feel sort of closer to him. But do I feel…romance?

Ugh, Chisato has me overthinking everything now.

"Alright, you're all sunscreened up now."

"Thanks Emi, now I'll do you." I scoot up on the chair and we exchange places.

I don't know what I feel. But the fact that I'm this unsure is unsettling. It has turned my whole little world on his head.

He sits down behind me with the sunscreen and starts rubbing it on my neck, shoulders, and back. His hands are big. They do feel pretty good, I guess? It feels good. Intimate. This makes me feel closer to him. But is it in a romantic way? I just don't know. Eventually he gently lifts the string tying my top on, and I feel it pull back slightly on my breasts as he puts sunscreen underneath it. I feel a little shiver when he does it. That…might have been something. But I'm probably just overthinking things, right?

But then something happens that leaves little doubt. He finishes applying the sunscreen and I'm disappointed when he stops touching me. I…want him to touch me more.

Oh. Oh no. I think Chisato was right.


Chapter 9 (Emi POV)

I can't sleep, so I'm out on a late night run trying to clear my head.

Why did I go on that trip with him?

Before today, I was pretty sure about everything with Hisao, and perfectly content with how things were. He was my best friend. Someone I trusted more than just about anyone. Someone special to me for sure, but I didn't have any doubts about how I felt. Not one.

Then, one day at the beach has me pretty sure that I'm falling in love with him. Or have I already?

Goddammit Chisato.

After the…sunscreen incident, I did my best to act normally. But I know I wasn't, because I was doing things I never do. I was watching him a lot more, watching his face whenever he looked at me, or smiled at me, trying to see if I could discern anything.

If he didn't notice, Chisato did. She shot many knowing looks my way any time Hisao said something to me, or any time she caught me looking at him, or any time I laughed at one of his joke.

That smug, crafty bitch. How did she know before I knew, anyway?

Well, that's easy Ibarazaki. You've never been in love, You've never really had a best friend. You've been feeling how you're feeling, and you knew it was something new and special, but you didn't know what it meant.

Chisato did exchange numbers with me before we parted ways. I did actually enjoy spending time with her, despite the confusion she implanted in my mind. I may need to talk to her about this stuff. Actually, now that I think about it, I think she must want me to talk to her about it. She seemed pretty damn insightful about romance today, that's for sure, and she knows Hisao really well. And she apparently wants us to get together.

Why did I go on that trip with him?

Hisao and I talked and laughed during the whole drive home, the way we usually do. He mostly told stories about hanging out with his friends at Yamaku, since seeing them today made him think about that a lot. He was really lively and happy to share that stuff with me. He told a lot of funny Saki stories too.

I hope he isn't the kind of guy who has a physical type. Saki was tall and had big boobs. If that stuff is important to him, I've got no shot. He doesn't strike me as that type of guy, but you never know.

Why am I even thinking like that? This is bad. This is really really bad. He still misses her so much and he has told me numerous times he has no interest in romance. I can't tell him I'm feeling this way. I won't. I don't want to lose him entirely.

I'm going to take my time with this. Maybe it will pass? Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will go back to how it was before? Either way, I know I shouldn't rashly confess to him. The consequences could be massive if I'm not careful about this. I need to sort stuff out. I'm going to continue to monitor how I feel when I'm around him, and I'm going to pay special attention to see whether I see any signs he is feeling anything himself. Unless I see something, I will probably never tell him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hisao beats me to the track next morning, which is not a common occurrence. I didn't sleep so well, so dragging myself out of bed took some effort. But I made it.

"Hey Emi, you ready to run?"

"Isn't that my line?"

Okay, so far, so good. Feels like any other morning run.

We both go about our morning run. These days I usually run alongside Hisao for his laps before doing my own thing once he's done. He can get to a good enough pace that the exercise is plenty good for me too. Today though, I find myself stealing glances at him while we run.

He has really grown to love running. I can tell because he has a determined smile on his face when he does it, instead of the grimace that he wore for the first couple of months. His form is also on point. He looks…great. And I don't just mean because his running has improved. He's a really good-looking guy. I've always thought so in an objective sort of way. But now that I'm really looking at him in this moment, when he's running with that smile on his face, I can't help but really take it in.

Goddammit. I guess I didn't sleep this thing off.

Shit. I think he just noticed me looking at him. Don't blush Ibarazaki. Don't blush. Just keep running.

Now he's done with his run, but I have an awkward conversation waiting for me when I join him.

"Emi, was there something wrong with my form today? I noticed you kept looking at me."

Shit. Not only did he notice the time I thought he noticed, but he noticed other times too? I'm not nearly as stealthy as I think.

"Hm? Oh, I was just checking your form. It looked good, but you could stand to relax your shoulders a little more."

He nods, taking in my advice as if I didn't make it up on the spot. Crisis averted.

He nods, "Oh. Okay, I'll give that a shot next time."

"So did you have fun at the beach yesterday?"

Why did I bring up the beach? That was a horrible idea.


"Yeah, it was nice getting some sun and seeing those two again after so long. It seemed like you and Chisato really hit it off, you were talking a lot."

"Yeah, she's a lot of fun. Really funny too."

Don't ask me what we talked about. Don't ask me what we talked about. Don't ask me what we talked about.

"What were you two talking about anyway?"

Goddammit. Oh, you know. Just that maybe I'm in love with you. No big deal.

"Oh…you know, just…girl stuff."

He's…definitely not going to buy that one. I'm not exactly the biggest girly girl, and I haven't really engaged in a conversation I would call "girl stuff" very many times in my life. He knows this about me.

Was that really the best you could do Ibarazaki?

He looks at me a little suspiciously, and for a moment I think he's going to say something, but he doesn't. Luckily we don't have a lot of time to keep talking. We both have to go shower and get dressed for work.

"Okay then. Well, we gotta get going. See you at lunch! What did you bring today?"

Oh. Today was my day. I completely forgot. Maybe because I'm so damn distracted.

"Err, I actually forgot. Sorry. We'll be hitting the cafeteria today, hope that's okay."

"Yeah, it'll be fine. It won't kill us to eat there once in a while, right? Okay, see you then, have a good morning!"

"You too."

I watch as he runs off.

Well…that could have gone…worse I guess.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm out for another late night run, because this Hisao thing won't leave my mind.

Its been about a week since the beach, and any time I'm around him now I find myself thinking about how attractive he is. I also watch him like a hawk to see if I can see anything that might indicate he's feeling the same as me. I haven't really seen anything.

Maybe this is just a crush? Yeah, that's it. Crushes go away, right? The only problem is that there is something much deeper underneath those feelings. We've been friends for quite a while at this point. And he knows me. Really knows me. Better than anyone. I feel so close to him. He means so much to me. There's…an emotional bond bundled up with this crush. Doesn't that mean…it isn't just a crush?

As I'm nearing the end of my run, I wince a bit as I feel some pain from the area just above my right prosthetic. Shit. I know that pain a little too well.

When I get back to my apartment and inspect my leg, it is as I feared. I have a small cut. Probably a result of all this extra running I've been doing at night to try to clear my head.

I carefully clean the cut. It isn't too bad, I probably got it early enough that I won't have a big problem. I will have to check it again in the morning.

...

The next morning I take another look at my cut and sigh. If I try to run on this, there's a pretty good chance I could end up needing a wheelchair for a bit. As much as I hate not running, I hate the idea of being stuck in a wheelchair even worse. At least this way I can still walk.

I make my way to the track that day, more than a little dejected. Hisao looks confused when he sees I don't have my usual outfit on.

"Good morning, everything okay?"

I sigh. "Not really. I have a cut on my leg, and it's going to keep me from being able to run for a little while."

Hisao gets a very concerned look on his face, sits down next to me and puts his arm over my shoulders. I lean into the contact more than I normally do, settling in the side of his chest. He doesn't seem to mind. I love that he cares enough about me to know how big of a deal this is for me, and that he wants to comfort me. And I'm very glad he's doing it physically.

"That's awful. You don't have to come out here and watch me run, Emi. For you I imagine that would be as bad as watching someone eat your favorite food right in front of you, without you getting a single bite."

"You have now accurately described my two worst nightmares, Hisao." I giggle. "But it's fine, I want to come support you. I'm your trainer right? I should be here. It should just be a few days. When I was younger, and stupider, when this kind of thing happened I would usually just try to power through it. But I ended up in a wheelchair on more than one occasion because of it."

"Wow, now that sounds like your worst nightmare."

"It was pretty awful, and not at all worth it. This way I can still walk, and I will be able to run again soon."

I can see Hisao has something on his mind. He is looking off into the distance, with a furrowed brow. I just wait, because I know that this face means he's trying to figure out how to say something serious.

"Saki hated wheelchairs too. She ended up needing one for awhile because she fell back when we were students here. Luckily she didn't need one again for awhile, but…" He pauses and grimaces, clearly remembering some hard times. "...eventually her condition got bad enough that she needed one. It was really hard on her…especially near the end."

I put my hand on his knee. "I'm…sorry Hisao, here I am complaining about having to be in a wheelchair for a few days and…I should have thought about that."

He shakes his head, as if trying to free himself from the sad memories.

"It's okay. Your experiences with them matter too. I'm glad you're not dumb anymore and won't have to use one." He laughs.

"Gee, thanks."

"Well, I guess I better get out there, huh?"

Only now does he break contact with me. That was much longer than we normally do something like that, especially when neither of us is having a mental breakdown. I even touched his leg and he didn't flinch. But it was still over too soon. I wonder why it was longer, though? That's the closest thing I have had to a sign so far.

I watch Hisao do his run, and feel kind of bad because I can see him trying extra hard to relax his shoulders like I told him the other day.

He really does look good when he runs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm up late again, tossing and turning. No late night run for me tonight since I can't freaking run. I probably shouldn't even go for a walk if I want this cut to heal quickly.

I really need to do something.

I sit up in bed, frustrated at the world. I grab my phone. Maybe I'll text Hisao? He might still be awake.

No, we don't normally text like that. I don't want him to suspect anything.

I look at my phone for a while longer. God, I can't believe I'm about to do this. But maybe talking to someone about this will help me sleep. Something like this would have been unthinkable awhile ago, I guess it is good that I am opening up to more than just Hisao.

I scroll through my contacts and select Chisato, and type out a message and hit send.

"You were right, and I kind of hate you for it. 😊 "

Not long after, my phone rings. Of course she's the type who wants to talk on the phone instead of just texting .

I let out a frustrated sigh and answer the phone.

"Hey, Chisato."

She responds so loudly I have to hold my phone several feet from my ear.

"DOES YOUR TEXT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?"

"You aren't even going to start with a pleasant greeting? Also, please don't yell in my ear."

"Mitsuru just told me I was being too loud too. Sorry, I was excited. Anyway, spill it."

"Well, ever since our little talk on the beach I have been pretty sure I'm in love with Hisao. So, thanks for that, I guess."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"I'm…not sure it is. I don't think he feels the same way."

"How do you know, though?"

"I just do, Chisato. He still really misses Saki, he has mentioned before that he has no interest in romance, and I have basically never caught him checking me out or anything like that, and I have a pretty good radar for that."

"...I notice you only said 'basically' about that last part. Does that mean it might have happened once or twice?"

"Well, at the beach after you talked to me, I was overthinking every little thing, and I thought I might have seen me look at me a little differently, but I don't have much confidence about it."

"He was definitely checking you out at the beach."

"You're saying that with a lot of certainty. Don't get a girl's hopes up, Chisato."

"Okay fine, but I am pretty sure I saw him looking at you at the beach. More than once. I can't say for sure what he was thinking, but it wasn't how he looks at me, I know that much."

"Okay well, I guess that's good information to have. I wasn't the only one who thought I saw something."

"NOPE!"

"Come on Chisato! Too loud again!"

"Sorry. So, are you going to confess to him?"

"I…don't know. I think I am working towards it. I just…I really don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm worried it could scare him away if he doesn't feel the same way. So, I'm sort of…gathering intel at this point, trying to see if there's anything he does that might indicate he sees me as more than a friend."

"Has there been?"

"Other than the day at the beach? Not really. Today he kind of hugged me longer than normal when trying to comfort me, but I think I'm splitting hairs."

"Well, that seems like a good strategy I guess. Keep me posted. I will let you know if I hear anything."

"Please don't ask him what he thinks about me or something that obvious."

"Okay, okay fine. I won't say anything to him about you. But if he does bring you up, I will let you know if there is anything interesting.

"That sounds more reasonable. Chisato, can I ask you something?".

"Sure."

"Why do you want me and Hisao to get together so badly?"

There's silence for a few seconds.

"I think I just…want my friend to be happy. After hearing about how close you two have gotten, and after seeing you together the other day, I have no doubt in my mind that you can give that to him. I know he is already doing a lot better than he was. But I think if you two could get together, he'd be even happier. Like he was before. He's been through so much. He deserves it. As m-much as anyone."

She pauses and I hear some soft sniffling.

"I want you to be happy too. I know we don't know each other that well, but you said the other day that you two have some similar experiences, and I can't imagine you were talking about the good ones. Hisao is a great guy, you're a great woman. I think you'd be great together. It really is as simple as that."

She has me choking up a bit now too. Amazing how she can go from rambunctious teenager to wise adult in no time at all.

"That means a lot. Well, thanks for talking through this with me. If nothing else it was really good to get it off my chest. I can't exactly talk about this with the usual person."

"No problem. I'm around if you ever want to talk again. I'll be rooting for you."

"Thanks. Tell Mitsuru I said hi."

"Oh, he's been listening to this entire conversation. Hope you don't mind! He's rooting for you too."

I laugh, "Okay, thank you to you both. Goodbye."

Yep, I think I'm starting to like her. She made me feel like there is a slightly better chance that he sees me as something more than a friend. But really, just talking about it made me feel so much better. That's something that Hisao showed me.

I think I'll sleep fine now.

Re: Learning to Run - Emi and Hisao Reconnect in their 30s.

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2023 9:16 am
by guthrum06
hdkv wrote: Sat Oct 07, 2023 5:05 pm I really like where it's going and will wait for next updates :)

Thank you!

... well, I did found out full story on fanfiction.net, but I'd like to see it here as well :)
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Chapter 10 and 11

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2023 9:42 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 10 (Emi POV)

It's been three weeks since the beach.

I still haven't seen anything clear from Hisao that makes me think he is attracted to me. I think maybe I have seen him looking at me more during our morning runs, especially when we are stretching, but it is far from certain. I also feel like we have been hugging more often, and for longer. But none of it is something I can be certain about.

I think he might have checked me out at the beach. Chisato and Mitsuru think he might have too. So, I decided that I need to find a way for him to see me in that bikini again.

We run early enough in the morning that we can use the pool and hot tub before it officially opens on Sunday. I have a key. So, I'm going to text Hisao tonight and tell him that we should hit the hot tub after our run.

I think Chisato's craftiness might be rubbing off on me.

I type out the text, "Hey Hisao, why don't we use the hot tub tomorrow after our run? It will be a nice way to soothe our muscles." I hit send.

When I reread my text I feel like I'm reading an ad for a hot tub. God that's cringey. Hopefully it isn't too obvious.

"That sounds like a really good idea. I will bring my trunks in the morning."

I exhale. He doesn't seem suspicious.

My plan is now in motion. Tomorrow I think I will have a clear sign one way or another if he feels something more than friendship.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After our run the next morning we go to the changing room. I put on my bikini and take extra care to make sure it looks perfect. There's a lot riding on how good I look in this thing today.

It does look good. That's for sure. If he's attracted to me, he won't be able to hide it.

When I walk out of the changing room, Hisao is already in the hot tub and has turned it on. Unfortunately, his back is turned towards me, so I don't get an initial reaction out of him. That's okay, because I have a plan.

Hisao must hear me, because without turning around he says "Hey, this feels great after a run. Why didn't we think of this sooner?"

Why indeed.

"I know right, I'm brilliant." He laughs at my modesty.

Or maybe I'm really dumb. What I'm about to do is either dumb or brilliant…and I'm about to find out which.

I hang my towel on the hot tub, and sit on the edge, with my back to Hisao. I think I can feel his eyes on me. But I don't dare look. If they are, he's getting a pretty good look at my ass, which is definitely the part of my body I am proudest of. It has been sculpted by many runs, and sticks out quite prominently from my otherwise small frame.

I start taking off my legs, bending over a little bit to accentuate things even more. I do really hope he is looking, this will go so much better if he is.

I sit back up after removing my legs and feign that I've lost my balance, I fall backwards and….

SPLASH

…straight into Hisao's lap.

"Are you okay, Emi?"

He managed to outstretch his arms to catch me and brace my fall. One of them is around my back, and the other is around my thighs. My butt is resting on his lap. All the physical contact with him feels phenomenal. He isn't letting go or acting awkward either. He's just looking into my eyes.

The fact he was able to react in time to catch also tells me that it is very likely he was looking at my ass before I fell, though I can't be sure.

I survey his expression in the aftermath of my deception. He is looking at me differently. I'm sure of it.

Most of me is submerged, but not my chest or head. I can see that he is doing his best to keep eye contact with me, but his eyes drift further down my body several times before he snaps them back. It is a more exaggerated version of how he has looked at me on the track lately.

His hands have also surely lingered on my bare skin longer than necessary in this situation. I use all of my power to suppress a proud giggle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Good thing you caught me, Hisao."

And then, just like that, the moment is over. He takes his arms off of me, and I sit next to him. From here, he goes on like it never happened. It is just like any other time we've spent time together.

I'm a little disappointed, but I'm not sure what I expected. Maybe a little part of me was hoping he would kiss me, or even something more.

But, even if that didn't happen, I am certain that he is attracted to me now. All the times I thought he might be checking me out lately, he definitely was. It's like something changed for him too when we went to the beach.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a month since the beach, and I am visiting my mom and Sho for the weekend.

Even with my recent discovery that Hisao is attracted to me, I haven't worked up the nerve to confess to him. I gave Chisato the update and she thinks I should go full speed ahead, but I am still not sure. This is something I have to be very careful about, because I really cherish our friendship. I want to be with him, sure, but if there's a significant chance me confessing to him will end what we have now, it isn't worth doing.

I'm very conflicted.

The situation is eating at me so much, that I'm going to do the unthinkable - I am going to talk to my mom about it.

She is sitting with Sho on the couch, and they are both having a glass of wine while they laugh and smile at each other. I hate to bother them when they are having such a nice time, but I have to do it.

"Hey, mom. Can we talk about something?"

Sho takes the hint, gives me his trademark wink, and goes in the other room.

"What is it Emi? It isn't often you want to confide in me about something, so you have me a little worried."

"Well it's…nothing to be worried about. It is nothing that serious. But well there's this guy…"

Her eyes sparkle. "Is it that young man you have been talking about so much lately? Hisao, is it?"

I sigh. "Yes, it's about him."

"Didn't you tell me in no uncertain terms that you were just friends, and I shouldn't get my hopes up for grandkids?"

"Mom, stop. Yes, I did tell you that. It was like that for a long time, but recently…things changed. I'm in love with him now."

"Oh my." She puts her wine glass down and leans towards me. "This is serious. Tell me everything."

I tell her about how close we've become, how he is the only person I have ever been able to tell about dad and my nightmares, how we have helped each other through many hard times, how we have so much fun together. How he is a widower who still misses his late wife terribly. How things changed recently, and we are both looking at each other in a new light. I tell her how I'm not sure I should confess.

"Well, dear. I can say one thing about this Hisao. He has gotten you to be more open with your mother."

"Really, mom? That's the first thing you have to say about this?"

"Patience Emi, I have many things to say. But in all honesty this is the most I have heard you talk about your personal life or your feelings. Ever. I see what you mean about this man making you more open. It is reflected by our very conversation."

"Um, Okay, that's great mom. But what do you think I should do?"

"I'm getting there. But first, let me tell you a story."

"Really? A story? And you wonder why I don't come to you with this kind of thing very often."

My mother looks at me seriously and sharpens her voice. Neither of those are things she does very often, certainly not since I've been an adult. "Emi, just listen to what I have to say. I think it will help you with your problem. I have a thing or two to say about finding love after losing your spouse. So please, stop being a child and listen."

Did I never stop and think that she could relate to Hisao? I am a really bad daughter.

"After your father passed away, I never thought I would love again. I loved him with everything I had. Losing him…broke me, for a time. You were a little girl, but I am sure you were still aware that I wasn't doing well, on some level."

I nod.

"As you know, we met Sho in the midst of all that. Because of the support and kindness he offered both of us, he quickly became my best friend. I wasn't remotely interested in him romantically, and he maintains that was true for him too. He simply saw two good people in need of some help, so he helped us. Over time, we grew very close. We confided in one another about our hardships. I talked with him about my grief, about how I felt like I was failing you, all of it. In turn, he opened himself up to me. It doesn't seem like it was too unlike the friendship you and Hisao have shared these last months, does it?"

"No."

It really doesn't.

"This continued for a several years, and eventually Sho developed feelings for me."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, I know. You guys started dating secretly my third year at Yamaku, right?"

"Yes, dear, and we are still very sorry about that, but you are skipping ahead. The important part of our story is what Sho did about his feelings. You see why, don't you?"

"...because I am in the same position he was."

"That's right. Anyway, he confessed to me…well, you know when. I was certainly taken aback. We had been friends for about 7 years at this point, and I had never thought of him in that way. I hadn't thought of any man that way since your father. I had to think about it for a couple of days, and it was hard. But ultimately I concluded I should give him a chance, because we were such good friends, it was worth seeing if there was something more. And of course…there was."

"So, you're thinking I should just go for it, and that Hisao will give me a chance because we already care so much about each other?"

"Yes, but I have even more confidence in your situation, because you say it's clear he is thinking of you romantically, at least a little bit. That wasn't true in my case. There are two important things that Sho conveyed to me that played a large role in my decision to accept his confession, that I think could help you. First, he made it clear that he wasn't trying to replace your father. That is something you must understand if you plan on moving ahead with Hisao. His late wife will always be in his heart. He will always miss her. Getting in a relationship with you isn't going to change that. But, there is room for you in there too."

"That makes sense. I…think I already understood that that on some level. I never would have thought us being together would solve all of my grief, so why would it do it for him?"

My mother nods approvingly.

"Second, he told me that he wanted to do whatever he could to preserve our friendship regardless of my response. This gave me much more confidence to give him a chance, because it didn't feel like an ultimatum of 'Either I'm your boyfriend or we're not friends anymore.'"

"That makes sense too. That's another thing I have sort of thought, but hearing it put that way makes even more sense."

"Mom, thanks a lot." I grab her in a tight hug. "I really, really should have talked to you about this sooner. This was…wow. Amazingly helpful. It was what I needed."

"So you plan to confess to him?"

"Yes. I will soon."

"I must say he sounds like a wonderful man, and I very much hope it works out. And not just because I am getting desperate for grandkids." She says with a wink.

"You just had to ruin a good moment, didn't you mom?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm back at Yamaku after spending a weekend with my mom and Sho. It is a surprisingly nice day, so I asked Hisao if he wanted to have lunch on the roof with me. He agreed. I am going to confess to him today. Since we discovered students don't actually come up here anymore, I thought we would have privacy.

I am incredibly nervous, so I got up here early. I look around the roof. This is the place where I first opened up to him. So I guess it has already been the sight of one type of confession.

I really hope he shows up soon. I'm worried I'm going to lose my nerve.

I hear the door creak open, and Hisao emerges. He is wearing one of his sweater vests, and his hair is characteristically messy. I feel my heart jump out of my throat when I see him.

"Hey, Emi. How was your weekend with your family?"

"It was…surprisingly good. Yours?"

"It was decent. I missed you."

I feel my face flush as he hugs me.

He missed me? I missed him too, even though I was only gone two days. Is that something you say to a friend after not seeing them over the weekend?

"I m-missed you too."

I'm disappointed when the hug ends.

I'm really glad that all just happened. Because I have a lot more courage now. I was thinking we would eat first but…I have to do this now. In this moment. He is only standing a few feet away from me, so I look up at him and make eye contact, which he doesn't shy away from.

"Hisao…I…need to tell you something. Something important."

He nods for me to continue. I think for a moment about whether I should build up to the main point, but ultimately decide to start there.

"Hisao, you've helped me become a much more open person. I share everything with you, things I've never shared with anyone. But there is still one more thing that I've been hiding from you, and I don't want to hide anything from you."

I take a deep breath and summon all of the bravery I can muster.

I look into his eyes and say, "I love you. And…not only as friends. I…want to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend."

He looks down when I say these words, and that doesn't feel great. But he hasn't run away either. I just have to plow ahead and get this all out.

"I have known since the beach. But because we are such close friends, and because I have never been in love before…at first I wasn't really sure about my feelings. I am now. When I'm with you, I'm happier than I've ever been. When I'm not with you, I miss you. You've helped me change into a better, more complete person, instead of the empty husk I have been for all these years. You know me better than anyone. But you're such a great guy that I…I want more. Maybe its a little greedy, but I want our relationship to become even deeper."

He still isn't looking at me, but he's still here.

"You don't have to give me a response right away or anything. I know…this… makes things complicated. That's one of the reasons I held it back for so long. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, which has meant everything to me over the last several months. So, I promise that if you can't return my feelings, we can still be friends, just like we are now. I think…I would need a little time and space for a bit, but I don't want to lose this friendship, no matter what. I'll do everything I can to preserve it, everything to have you as my friend, no matter how you respond."

I ultimately decided to chicken out on mentioning Saki. I think it would scare him away if I did. It is something I will make very clear if we enter into a relationship.

After completing my confession, Hisao finally looks at me. But what I see isn't very encouraging. His face is a mixture of emotion. He looks more scared than anything. Without saying a word, he takes a few steps towards the door, with his back facing it while he continues to look at me. It's as if he needs to keep his eyes on me or I might try to stop him. He reaches out for the door handle, finds it, and goes through it. He doesn't come back.

I may have just ruined everything.

Chapter 11 (Hisao)

I'm in my apartment, trying to process the major bombshell that Emi dropped on me earlier today.

She…loves me?

She has been acting a little differently lately, always looking at me as if she's studying me. It has also felt like she was initiating physical contact more and that it was lasting longer.

I've been feeling a little bit different too. I noticed at the beach that I felt some physical attraction to her. I wasn't sure what it meant then. But for the first time since Saki I found myself actually looking at another woman. And then there was that moment in the hot tub, when part of me really wanted to keep holding her.

I don't know what to do.

She's my best friend. I love being around her. She means so much to me. She has helped me dig out of a very dark hole in my life. I know she really cares about me. I really care about her too. She's definitely attractive. Something I have started to appreciate more and more lately.

But…am I ready? Am I interested in romance again?

I glance over at Saki's bookshelf. She wanted me to find love again. Is this it? I still miss her so much. Shouldn't I be done thinking about Saki so much if I'm ready for a relationship?

Ugh, why did I just run away like that? I definitely got scared, but it still wasn't fair to her. I can't imagine confessing to someone like that and just having them run away without saying a word. It's been several hours now too. I'm horrible. She didn't do anything wrong. She just told me her feelings. Something that is the bedrock of our friendship. I need to say something to her.

I write out a text: "I'm really sorry I freaked out and ran away. That wasn't right for me to do. I'm thinking about things."

She quickly replies: "Take all the time you need."

I don't know how she can be that understanding about this.

I need to talk to someone about this. Obviously I can't talk to my usual person, but there's someone else who could really help.

I get out my phone, select Chisato's name and hit the call button. She answers after a few rings.

"Hey, Hisao, how are you?"

"Okay, I guess. Things just got….really confusing, though."

"What do you mean?" Her questioning tone sounds more than a little forced. That's…suspicious.

"Um…Emi confessed to me today. She told me she loved me."

"What did you say?" Now it sounds like she's using every fiber of her being to keep from sounding excited, but it isn't quite working.

"I said…I need to think about things." I sigh, ashamed. "Well..not at first, the first thing I did was run away without saying a word to her for several hours. It was not my finest moment, and not a good way to treat my best friend."

"Well, confessing is a big deal. I think she'll understand."

"Yeah, she did, actually, or at least it seemed like it over text."

"So, what are you confused about exactly?"

"I dunno. Everything? Things between the two of us have been different lately. There's been romantic tension that didn't used to be there before. I've… found myself thinking about how attractive she is and stuff. And now that she's confessed, I guess that it's the same for her. But, I just don't know if I'm ready. I still miss Saki so much. All the time, really. So I guess that's what has me confused."

"Hisao, I think I should tell you something, and it might make you mad, and you probably have a right to be, but I think you need to know. I think it might help you to know too."

Suddenly things click into place.

"You guys talked about this at the beach, didn't you?" I say with more than a hint of irritation.

"...yes. How did you just figure that out?"

"A few things. She said she realized she loved me while we were at the beach, things have had that different feeling ever since the beach, and she was really evasive with me when I asked what you guys talked about that day. You were also really suspicious at the beginning of this conversation."

She scoffs, annoyed I figured it out just before she was going to tell me.

"Okay fine, you're right. I definitely gave her a little bit of a push in this direction."

I feel some anger flash inside of me.

"Why? Why would you do that? Couldn't you have just left it alone? And why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry for hiding this from you, but let me explain why I gave her the push. I saw you two that day and couldn't help but feel like something was there. You two felt like a couple in every way. Mitsuru thinks so too. You both lit up every time you looked at one another, or every time one of you said something to the other. It was adorable. When you're with her, you are just…so much happier than I've seen you for years. I'm even pretty sure we caught each of you checking the other out."

Damn, I thought I was a little more discreet than that.

"You've already made eachother so much happier as friends. So, I just told her I thought she should think about whether something else was there. She thought about it awhile, and then decided there was."

"That…makes it sound like you've talked to her about this other than at the beach, Chisato."

"We may have had a little chat or two, yes."

I feel another flash of anger, but it subsides. I can't be too mad. Emi needed someone to talk to. She said she's been struggling with this for awhile, and obviously she couldn't talk to me about it. I'm actually pretty impressed that she was able to talk about her feelings with Chisato.

I sigh in frustration. "Chisato...why exactly do you want the two of us to be together so badly?" She giggles in response.

"Something funny?"

"Yes, she asked me the same thing."

"What did you tell her?"

"It really isn't that complicated, Hisao. We really care about you, and we want you to be happy. We strongly believe Emi can do that for you."

"Okay…but I still don't know."

"Tell me Hisao, what is it about her that makes you doubt whether or not you have feelings for her?"

"Um…I…"

She interrupts me before I can answer.

"Is it the fact that you enjoy one another's company? Is it because you two already share a deep emotional bond? Is it because you two make eachother into better people? Is it because you both have experienced intense grief and can relate to one another? Is it because she's really freaking attractive?...I can keep going, but I think you already love her, you just aren't being honest with yourself about it. I think it was the same for her until our talk on the beach."

I sigh.

"...it isn't anything about her. You're right. She would make a great partner. But…I guess…my confusion is about me. I don't know if I can be a good boyfriend."

Her voice sharpens, "Why would you ever think a thing like that? You were the best boyfriend and husband Saki could ever ask for, Hisao. That isn't me being hyperbolic, or trying to pump up your ego. I truly believe that. I don't think there was another person on the planet that was better for her. You were devoted to her. You supported her through…so much..." I hear her sniffling slightly.

"That's…kind of why, though. I still miss Saki so much. Every day. Should I still be thinking about her all the time? Even when I'm with my girlfriend?"

"Hisao, I don't think you're ever going to stop missing Saki. And you shouldn't. But you shouldn't treat it as an excuse not to live your life either. I miss Saki every single day too. Does that mean I should stop making new friends? I even have a best friend here in Tokyo that I adore. But that doesn't mean I magically stop missing Saki."

I can tell that she's crying a little now.

"I still wish I could talk to her every day. Every morning when I'm trying to decide what I'm going to wear for the day, I stop and think about what Saki would say. That doesn't mean I don't also really love the friends I have today. New people in your life don't replace her, Hisao. Nothing ever can. You just have to realize that and get on with your life."

I am stunned into silence for a few seconds as I process what she just said.

"Wow…that's…a really good point. I've always sort of thought I would know I was ready when I stopped missing her so much…but yeah, that's probably never going to go away if it hasn't by now."

She laughs, "Don't sound so surprised that I am so wise. So what are you going to do?"

"I'm not 100% sure yet. But, you've definitely got me leaning in the direction of returning her feelings. I think I'm going to take a day or two to think about it, and then give her a response."

"Good."

"Chisato? Do me a favor and don't tell Emi about this conversation okay?"

She laughs, "Okay, I won't talk to her about you behind your back again. I am sorry for that, but I think if this all ends up working out, you're probably going to want to thank me."

"Yeah, maybe. Goodbye Chisato, thanks again."

After we hang up, I stop to think about everything.

The way I feel about Emi does sound like love, I just haven't really opened myself up to the possibility.

Is it really okay if I still miss Saki and I'm in a relationship with Emi? It does make some sense. There's Chisato's example, but that's not the only one that comes to mind. Emi still misses her dad every single day, and he's been gone for more than 20 years. She really likes her mom's husband. It is kind of the same thing, isn't it?

I lie down on my bed and send Emi a text.

"I don't think I'm going to make it to our run or lunch tomorrow. I really want to have an answer for you the next time we see each other, and I'm going to take tomorrow to think about it."

"Okay. Make sure you get a run in SOMEWHERE though. 😜"

I can't help but laugh. Even in this situation she's telling me I better not slack off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up extra early today. I'm at the track 30 minutes earlier than I usually am. I'm really trying to sort out my thoughts. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm going to say to Emi. But, I thought seeing her again would help me make my final decision, whatever it ends up being.

Emi arrives only a few minutes after me. I guess that makes sense, she's probably nervous too, since I basically told her I would have an answer today. Once I can see her up close, I can definitely tell she's nervous. She doesn't look like she slept well and she has a half-smile half-grimace on her face.

I wave at her with a smile, and she doesn't waste time on pleasantries. "So, do you have your answer?"

"I do." That's kind of a lie, so I better sort this thing out. "But let's run first. Clear our heads, you know?"

She hesitates for a moment, but then nods. Of course she can't say no to a run.

As we're running around the track, I can't help but notice the way her body moves. She has such good form as a runner of course, and the way her petite frame bends and flexes is a little hypnotic. She is a particularly pleasant sight from behind. This is something I've started to notice lately, but I haven't really let myself fully indulge. She really does have an incredible body.

I finish my shorter routine and sit down, and I watch her closely as she does her concluding sprints.

While I was admiring her body before, now I'm focusing more on her face. She really does look incredible when she runs. Her entrancing green eyes sparkle with satisfaction, and her mouth is curved into a determined smile. Her determination really is limitless. She is a woman who lost her legs and through her determination became a gifted runner. She is a woman who is constantly haunted by the death of her father and relives it regularly, but she is still determined to get up in the morning and help students. She met me for the first time in 16 years, but was immediately determined to help me get healthy.

That determined smile she wears on the track really sums up who she is. And she is beautiful.

I know what I am going to say now. I'll remember this as the moment that I knew I loved her.

She finishes her run and comes to sit down next to me on the bleachers. This is something we have done many times, but it feels different this time. Emi gives me an expectant but nervous look as she drinks from her water bottle.

I stand up in front of her, and prepare to give her my answer.

"Emi I…just wanted to apologize again for how I reacted the other da-"

"Yeah, yeah Hisao, you're sorry – I get it. Now get to the point!" I can't help but chuckle at her impatience.

I take a deep breath.

"Emi, I really enjoy being with you. You've made me a much better, happier person. You've helped me find my way out of the darkest time in my life. My favorite thing about every day is our morning runs and lunches together. Over the last two days I've been doing a lot of thinking…and I've come to realize that…I want to be with you too. I want to see this special bond between us to become even deeper. Emi, I…love you too."

Before I even complete the last sentence, Emi squeaks, tosses her water bottle aside, and bounces up to me on her running blades. We embrace each other in a tight hug, her smiling face buried in my chest. We've hugged each other countless times at this point, but this one is different. For one thing, we're squeezing each other as tightly as we can, enjoying the contact of our bodies on one another. For another, it lasts much longer.

We stay like this for a while, but eventually Emi looks up at me with a smile and puts her hand on my cheek.

"Uhm, Hisao? If you're going to kiss me it should probably be soon, since we need to get showered and go to work."

I smile back at her and plant my lips on hers for a tender kiss. Her lips are soft, and she tastes and smells vaguely of strawberries. We're both sweaty from the run, and normally I wouldn't think that would be something I would enjoy, but it is right now. It feels good to have my body and lips pressed up against her. I made the right choice.

We break the kiss after a few moments, and Emi lets out a long giggle.

"I hope that giggle isn't about my technique! I am very out of practice, so cut a guy some slack."

"Don't be silly. It was a great kiss. It was a happy giggle. I really didn't know what to expect today. I am just so happy that this is how it went. I feel like I could run about a million more sprints right now."

She gives me another tight squeeze and rests her head on my chest again.

"So, I guess it worked, huh?"

"What did?"

"Your long-term plan to make me fall in love with you."

I am really confused for a moment, and then remember what she's talking about. It seems so long ago now. Several months ago she was afraid I was going to confess to her, and I had to convince her I wasn't interested. Then she told me she was going to keep an eye out for any signs I was trying to make her fall in love with me. Here we are several months later, and she's overjoyed that I confessed to her. I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I guess it did. I didn't even know about it at the time, but it looks like it worked."

"Yes, it sure did." She looks up at me with a smile.

"Alright, I guess we've gotta go be grownups now," Emi says with a pout. "See you at lunch?"

"It's a date!"

...

I make it to the Tea Room before Emi. At least, that's how it appears at first. When I close the door behind myself, I see Emi was hiding behind it. She jumps and throws her arms around my neck and kisses me. I catch her and hold her in the air while returning the kiss, before gently putting her down.

"Well, hello to you too! Don't forget I have a heart condition. Surprise kiss attacks might not be a great idea."

Emi's eyes get wide and she looks concerned for a split second. Then she elbows me in my side. "Jerk! I believed you for a second!"

We sit down with our lunches in front of us. Normally we eat before talking, but that's not the case today.

She smiles broadly. "Sooo Hisao, how's your day going? Anything interesting happen?"

I laugh at her. "Well, more than one of my students has wanted to know why I am in such a good mood. Of course, they also assumed it must have something to do with some scientific breakthrough. Apparently for most of them they could only imagine me being happy about something like that. I am not sure how to feel about that."

Emi gives me a massive smile.

"Well, you DO love science! But I am glad to hear that the effect of this morning's events is noticeable to others. I know it has been on my mind all morning too. During one of my therapy sessions this morning I um…sort of spaced out while thinking about it…and the next thing I knew the kid was telling me I was hurting her from massaging her quad so long."

After finishing her story, Emi reaches her hand out and I take it in mine, lacing our fingers together.

"So I know it was a joke, but earlier you called today's lunch a 'date.' Don't get me wrong, I love our lunches, and will probably love them even more now, but don't think this gets you out of us having a real first date!"

"It is interesting that we were friends for so long before this, as it isn't like we haven't been out together before, many times. But I promise we will do something special and it will definitely be different than those other outings. How about this Saturday?"

"I am definitely free then. But uhm…I am kind of wondering what you think about…tonight? I want to make you dinner and then we can watch a movie or something. At my place?"

I hesitate. We haven't ever spent much time at each other's apartments, only enough time to meet up there before going somewhere else, or if one of us was there to comfort the other during a hard time. Spending an evening in her apartment certainly would be a marked difference from our time as friends…does she want to…?

Noticing my hesitation, Emi lets go of my hand and puts her hands to her mouth, as if she is trying to put the words back in. Speaking so quickly the words are starting to run together, she says : "Oh God. Is that crazy? Letmeknowifiambeingcrazy. Wejuststarteddatingtodayandiinvitedyoutomyapartmentwhatwasithinking. Nevermind…IthinkIamgoimgtogonow"

Taking some time to decode these rapidfire words, I reach out for her hand and grab it as she tries to dart out of the room.

"Emi, calm down. It's okay. We can do tonight. I have science club after classes, but should be free after that. Should I come around 8?"

She forces a smile, still not fully confident in the situation.

"Y-yeah…that sounds great."

"What were you so concerned about that you started talking so fast and wanted to run away?"

Emi sighs.

"You weren't saying anything and I freaked out that I was pushing things too fast. I thought I had messed things up. You said earlier you're out of practice with this sort of thing, and the truth is I am too. Well, not that out of practice about…the physical part. But very out of practice with everything else. No, that's not accurate. I haven't practiced at ALL when it comes to this. This is like trying to run the 100 meter after spending a twenty years in a hospital bed."

She frowns a bit, looking embarrassed.

"You are the first guy I have ever loved, Hisao. I guess I'm…kind of lost on how I even proceed now that I know we love each other. I feel consumed by it. I just…want to spend every minute I can with you."

She looks around the room and fidgets in her chair, as if she's expecting someone to suddenly be listening to us.

"I also really want to BE with you too. Physically," she says as her face flushes. "I guess I am really getting swept up in this huh? I always thought that was sentimental crap in movies and books and stuff."

She looks down, embarrassed. Her lack of experience with love is something she is really self-conscious about. I guess it makes sense, but she shouldn't worry about it THIS much.

I squeeze her hand to reassure her.

"It definitely can be intense, but keep in mind I am swept up in it too. I want to come over tonight and spend time with you too. I am really excited to be with you."

She shows me one of her authentic Emi smiles, but it slips a bit when I start my next statement with the word 'but.'.

"But… I will say that…I am not sure what I am ready for just yet…physically. I am really attracted to you of course, and I want to be with you too…but it has just…been awhile… and I may need to move a little bit slow in that regard. But we'll get there, I promise. Just be patient with me okay?"

Her smile has fully returned now.

"I can be patient. I won't push you. I am just happy I have you, and I can't wait until I see you tonight."

"Thanks for understanding Emi. I am excited for tonight too."

The bell rings and we hastily gather up our things and throw away our trash.

We stand up and exchange another kiss while we head towards the door.

"Do you want me to bring anything tonight?"

"Nope! Just yourself. That's all I need." She starts to smile, and then realizes how dorky that sounded and it becomes a look of shame.

I roll my eyes a little bit at her "Wow, you really are in love if you're saying things like that."

"Shaddup! Go teach your class or whatever, jerk!" She says as she playfully shoves me out the door.

Chapter 12

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2023 8:34 pm
by guthrum06
Chapter 12 (Emi POV)

Author's Note: Sexual Content

GOD I am nervous. Before this love business, I didn't think I could GET this nervous.

Hisao is going to be over in about an hour for our first official date. It will be the first time where we are hanging out in real privacy since we confessed our feelings for one another. And I want everything to be absolutely perfect. Especially after I almost messed everything up at lunch today. I basically told him I wanted to rip his clothes off and climb on top of him right there.

What were you thinking Ibarazaki? Your brand new boyfriend is a widower who was probably only ever with his late wife, and it has been years for him, and you thought it was a good idea to throw yourself at him at our place if work?

I take a deep breath.

It's okay though. Hisao is so sweet and understanding that he just got past it. I definitely need to keep myself in check though. This is all so new to me. He wants to go slow. I can do slow. I think.

I don't exactly have experience in slow, though. So far I have gotten close to guys physically fairly quickly without ever getting close to them emotionally. This time around it is the opposite so I don't even know what I'm doing. I am emotionally closer to Hisao than I have been to anyone. I am really excited to also get physically close with him. I can wait, though. It will be worth the wait. I don't want to mess this up.

I shake my head in an attempt to get out of it, and return to the wok where I am making the sesame udon noodle stir fry with shrimp that he loves so much. He always likes my cooking, so at least I'm not nervous about that.

I am so deep in thought that I am startled by my phone vibrating. It is a text from Hisao letting me know he is headed over.

I need to focus on finishing cooking, and I need to change out of my normal at-home outfit that he is familiar with: sweatpants and a t-shirt. He really hasn't had much occasion to see me in anything but my professional clothes, my sweatpants, or my workout clothes. Well, and more recently a bikini. Tonight I want to show him something a little different than all those things.

GOD I am nervous.

...

When Hisao arrives I already feel a lot better about things. Just seeing him and the new way he looks at me is enough to make me melt. I can't help but pull him down for a quick kiss the minute he walks through the door.

I can see that he went home and changed. I am pretty happy about that, because it means he sees this as the special occasion I want it to be. He looks GOOD. While he still likes to wear his silly sweater vests sometimes, his wardrobe has drastically expanded since high school. I suspect I have Saki to thank for that. She was always a fashionable girl. He is wearing a pair of slacks with a light blue button down shirt that is just tight enough across his chest and arms. His physique has really improved over the last several months and well…I suppose I have myself to thank for that one.

I catch him checking me out too. I am also dressed for the occasion, wearing a light blue off-the-shoulder sundress with a floral pattern.

We meet each other's eyes as we look one another over and share an awkward laugh.

"You look great. I'm kind of glad we didn't go out somewhere, because it would have been embarrassing in our matching outfits."

"You look good too. You know, blue is my favorite color. Most people think it is going to be something girlier, but they're wrong. So, I'm glad to see you're wearing it too. But yeah, it might have been a bit embarrassing to go to dinner like this. I don't think we want to be one of those couples who always matches."

We both laugh. It has always felt so good to laugh with him. It feels even better now.

We sit down for dinner together, sitting across from one another at my bistro set. Hisao is pleased with this meal, as he always is.

"I don't think I could ever eat enough of this. It is really good."

"Yeah, I remembered how much you loved this last time so I thought it was a good choice."

We continue with small talk about our day for a while before finishing our meal. Hisao offers to clean up, and I try to tell him no, but he won't take it for an answer and we clean up together. With his back turned to me while he is busy with the sink, I can't help but put my arms around him and hug him tightly from behind.

"Thanks for coming over tonight, Hisao. I'm just…I'm really happy you're here. I couldn't be happier that you returned my feelings."

Crap, am I really this kind of person now?

Hisao doesn't seem to mind, as he turns around from the sink and puts his hand under my chin to tilt my head up and gives me a sweet, tender kiss on the lips. While it's happening, I realize this is the first time he's initiated a kiss, and my heart skips a beat. I do my best to suppress a disappointed squeak when it ends.

"I'm happy I'm here too. I suspect we'll be doing this a lot more often now."

Is he talking about the date or the kiss? Or both. Whatever, who the hell cares.

"So, now that we've cleaned up, what do we have planned next?"

"Well we can go in the living room and find a movie to watch."

He smiles, "That sounds good."

Once we select a movie and sit down I take off my legs and then make a point of snuggling up real close to him. He puts his arm around me and I lean into his chest. He smells so good. I normally have a thing for guys when they are sweaty, but freshly showered Hisao is amazing too. We cuddle and watch the movie in silence for awhile, but about halfway through I feel his eyes on me.

I look up to meet his eyes and before I know it his lips are on mine. He moves his hand up my back and I can't help but sigh happily at the stimulation, remembering when he touched me at the beach and I realized I was in love with him. I also realize this isn't just a sweet tender kiss like the others. There's a hunger to it. Coming from both of us. Just as I'm thinking that I feel his tongue enter between my lips where it meets mine.

I want him so badly. That was already true, but now that he's doing this I'm overcome with my desire for him. My mind goes blank. I pull down on the collar of his shirt while I move to lie down on the couch, trying to urge him to follow me. I want him to take this off. I want him to get on top of me. I want him desperately. More than I've ever wanted anyone.

When he doesn't respond to the tug, I snap back to reality and release his collar.

Come on Ibarazaki! Control yourself. He just told you today he wants to move slow. He needs to be the one to take the initiative when it comes to this.

He hasn't stopped kissing me or touching me so I pull myself back up and put my arms around him and continue to kiss him back.



You know what? Going slow is nice. I'm not sure I've ever kissed someone for this long. It's somehow…more intimate than actual sex. At least it is with him. Knowing that he knows…everything about me, and wants to be here with me means so much. I love how he holds me. I love how he kisses me. It makes me feel special. I hope he feels the same.

We only realize just how long we've been embracing each other when we hear the credits roll on the movie. Were we just kissing for more than an hour? Realizing how late it must be, we reluctantly pull apart from each other. Both of us are a little bit out of breath, as if we've just gone for our morning run.

When I look at him I notice a significant bulge in his pants, and I try to suppress a proud sigh but a little one still comes out. I loop my arm around his and kiss him on the cheek.

"Hisao that was…really great. You really have nothing to worry about when it comes to being out of practice, so you can put that concern to bed. That was definitely the best make out session I've ever had."

"Yeah, it was amazing. I can't believe how quickly the time passed."

At first I, am a little disappointed that he didn't return the compliment in kind. But then I realize if he were to say that it was the best makeout session he'd ever had, it would mean saying I'm better than Saki. I'm sure he can't do that. Even if it were true. I don't blame him. It isn't just like she's just some ex. They'd definitely still be together if she was alive. Like my mom told me, she'll always be in his heart. And she should. That makes things different. I need to remember that. I should probably just avoid 'best' compliments altogether to avoid this awkwardness.

Maybe I should tell him now that I know I can't replace Saki? That I don't want to replace her? I do need him to know that I understand that.

I decide against it. This would be an awkward time to bring it up, since we aren't even talking about her. I'm just thinking about her.

"Me neither, I guess we'll have to actually watch the second half of that movie at some point."

He yawns loudly and seems to be looking around for his phone and keys.

He's going to leave. I don't think I want him to.

"Uhm…Hisao? Its gotten pretty late and we have to get up early for our run tomorrow. Plus I really don't want you to go. Do you…want to stay the night?"

He raises his eyebrows at me and there's some frustration in his face. Oh, shit, he thinks I mean that I want to have sex with him. Which, I do. But I really wasn't thinking about it just now.

"Emi, I.."

"Sorry! I don't mean for…that. I want to sleep with you but not sleep with you, know what I mean?" I say with a giggle. "We won't even go to the bedroom. This couch is big." I stretch myself out on it to showcase just how much space there is. "Well okay, maybe I'm just a tiny human, but either way there is plenty of room for you. We can just sleep here. I don't want you to go yet." I pout at him and rub my hand on the couch, trying to make it look as inviting as possible.

His face relaxes when I explain myself and he sits back down on the couch and takes my hand.

"That could be really nice, but I don't have any of my stuff here, including my medication."

Oh man. You should have thought of that. You're messing things up again Ibarazaki! Think before you say stuff. He really has to plan for this kind of thing.

"Oh…righht. Yeah you definitely need to get home then. Sorry."

He is lost in thought for a few seconds and then he smiles at me "Tell you what though, I can stay up a little longer. Why don't we finish the movie?"

Before I can answer, he hands me the remote and lays down on the couch behind me on his side, puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him, making me giggle and then sigh contentedly.

I set about navigating to the part of the movie where we started making out and hit play. I lace my fingers with his and we hold hands on my hip.

Now that his body is against mine like this I'm a little disappointed that the bulge from earlier has subsided, but it's probably for the best when it comes to my apparently fragile willpower. This feels really nice anyway. He's so much bigger than me. His body is up against every inch of mine and it feels good. We can experience physical closeness without having sex. And it can be really good. That's what I learned tonight. I'm…enveloped by his warmth. It feels really good. Really…safe. Really…right

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I groggily open my eyes to the sound of my phone's alarm. It doesn't seem to be anywhere near me. That's probably good, because if I could turn it off without getting up I would probably fall right back asleep. Why was I awake so late? Why am I asleep on the couch?

I sit up, put on my legs, and stumble into the kitchen, where I find my phone and make it stop its merciless noise.

Only now, looking at the dishes that were set out to dry do I remember the events of last night. I must have fallen asleep mere minutes after we restarted the movie. Because I barely remember anything after he laid down with me. At first I'm a little disappointed that he didn't fall asleep too, but then I remember that would probably be very bad because he didn't have his medication.

As I slowly become more awake, I realize I have a text from Hisao that he must have sent when he left last night.

"You fell asleep and looked really cute. I was sad I couldn't stay. That was a great first date. I made sure the door was locked behind me. I'll see you at the track in the morning!"

This sweet little text does more to get me ready for my day than caffeine ever could.

...

I drag myself to the track at Yamaku. I am running a little late, but Hisao isn't there yet either. He got to bed even later than I did, I should probably expect him to be a little bit late today.

I switch to my running blades and start doing the usual stretches. About five minutes in, Hisao arrives looking exhausted.

Despite his apparent fatigue, he smiles broadly when he sees me, and I wave back at him with a smile of my own. I really want to bounce up to him and plant a kiss on him, but given that we're both employees here that would…probably not be a great idea. We kissed out here yesterday of course, but that was special. For the most part, we need to act professionally in front of students, some of whom are already walking around on campus at this hour. They already all thought we were dating a long time ago, but we still need to be professional even if we are dating now. He's likely thinking the same thing, because we settle for a quick hug.

"Good morning sleepy head. I guess we still need to finish that movie, huh?"

I giggle at him, "I guess so! Are you ready to shut up and run?"

He laughs, "You know, now that you're my girlfriend I thought maybe you'd sound a little less like a drill sergeant when you say that. I guess I was wrong."

"Yeah well, keeping you healthy is a serious matter, Nakai. You need discipline!" I make a palm with one hand and punch it with the other for emphasis. "When we're on the track you'll have to think of me as your trainer first. Your really attractive trainer. But your trainer nonetheless" I give him a wink.

"Okay, okay, I get it." He yawns. "Let's get this over with."

We both go through our usual routines, but we are both struggling far more than usual because of our late night. Hisao has to stop about ¾ of the way into his. I check on him to make sure everything is okay and he gives me a thumbs up and a smile, so I keep going. I complete my full routine, but this has to be the worst I've run in months. Maybe years.

We both sit down on the bench, exhausted.

"Jeez, I know we were up late but it wasn't insanely late. Would have been no problem back in high school. I guess we are in our 30s after all."

I nod in agreement, "Yeah, I guess maybe we need to call it a night a little bit earlier on weekdays." I can hear a hint of disappointment in my voice, but such is life. After all, we're working adults with lots of responsibilities, and apparently we need our full eight hours of sleep at our age.

Hisao puts his arm around my shoulder, "You're probably right. But we'll still see one another plenty, and there's always the weekends. I still want to take you out on a date this Saturday, you know."

"I'm looking forward to it," at least that's what I try to say, but I end up stifling a yawn. Somehow he seems to have still understood the meaning.

He stands up and stretches, reaching his hand out to me to help me up. He quickly checks the surroundings and gives me a peck on the cheek. I giggle. Our bodies might feel like we are in our 30s, but when he does cute little things like that it feels like we're 18.

"I guess we better get going. See you at lunch?"

"You bet! We will have to settle for cafeteria food today, though. I was rather busy last night and didn't get a chance to make us anything even though it was my day to bring lunch."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I check the time on my phone. Hisao will be here to pick me up in about ten minutes. I give myself a once over in the mirror and like what I see. Hisao wouldn't tell me all of his plans for tonight, but he did tell me we were going to dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city. This caused me to panic a bit, as I have never really owned a whole lot of clothes that one might call "fancy," but I managed to put an acceptable outfit together. I am wearing a tight but classy fitted black dress and I have a blue cardigan on over it. The ensemble does an especially good job of showing off my butt. I also have my hair down, something I rarely do. I'm trying to do stuff like that, to help clearly define this new period of our relationship as a couple, from how we were as friends.

I look down at my legs. When I was younger, I tried a lot harder to conceal my prosthetics by wearing tights and long socks, especially when I was with a boy that I liked. But that rarely crosses my mind anymore. I know Hisao doesn't care anyway. People stare more, but let them. It is a little sad that I have to wear flats because of them, but oh well. I am so short it doesn't really matter, and I don't think that's something Hisao cares about in the least.

As I wait for him to text me to come down, I think back on our first week together.

It has been really great. Our first date is certainly the highlight so far, but even our morning runs and lunches in the tea room have been wonderful. These are things we have been doing together since long before we became a couple, but there is a whole new energy now. I have especially enjoyed the tea room, where we can be more lovey dovey without fear of students seeing us. He even came over for dinner one other night, and while he couldn't stay long, we did spend a little bit of time making out.

Things are going really well.

My phone vibrates, and I head down to meet Hisao.

...

This restaurant definitely is fancy, luckily I seem to have dressed the part.

I look across the table at my handsome date, who is wearing one of his sweater vests, but is wearing a black blazer over it and the whole ensemble makes him look like a sexy professor. Which is kind of what he is. It suits him.

"Have you been here before?"

"No, I haven't. Apparently it has only opened in the last year or so. One of the other teachers told me about it. While they said the main courses were great, apparently the desserts are especially incredible."

He smiles at me and reaches out for my hand

"That's what made me think to bring you here. I have seen you go to town on enough cakes at the Shanghai to know you love your sweets."

"You know me too well. You shouldn't have told me that yet, though. Now I am going to want to skip right to dessert."

I excitedly look at the dessert section of the menu. I don't recognize most of them, as this is a French restaurant and most of the names are foreign to me. Literally.

Hisao picks up on the confused look on my face, "The one called 'mille feuille' is supposed to be their specialty. It is layers of thin pastry, fruit, and lots of cream"

Hisao seems to have really done his research on picking this place. He chose it because he thought I would like it.

I decide to be an adult in the end and order something other than dessert. So I ordered a filet mignon as my main course and it was pretty good, but it was really just the opening act for me. We both ordered a mille feuille for dessert.

When the first spoonful hits my mouth I am amazed. This combination of crunchy and soft textures, tartness and sweetness has to be one of the greatest things I have ever tasted. I close my eyes and savor every minute it is in my mouth.

"I was a little bit worried that I talked this up so much without having actually tried it myself, but my God. It definitely lives up to the hype doesn't it?"

"Mhm."

"I can tell you are enjoying it too because you haven't said an actual word since they put it down in front of you and all I've heard are soft moans. And I'm not sure you have even opened your eyes. Are you…going to be okay over there?"

I open one eye in response, smirk at him and feign indignation in my voice "Hisao, do you mind? Me and the mille feuille are having a very intimate moment." Then I close my eye again.

He laughs at me, "Do you want me to leave you two alone?"

I smile mischievously at him and do my best to sound sultry even though I am trying my hardest not to laugh. "Nah that's okay. You can watch if you want to. Just don't get too jealous."

After we have finished our desserts and are getting ready for the mystery phase of our date, I reach out for Hisao's hand and he gives it to me.

"This was really great Hisao. Thank you for taking me here. I…um…it is embarrassing to say this but I have never really been on a date this…fancy. And it was amazing." I realize I am getting a little too sappy, so I add "Most of all, I am really happy you introduced me to mille feuille tonight. I think we could have a future together."

He laughs at me and lets go of my hand. "Come on silly. The night's not over yet." He stands up and beckons me to do the same. He offers me his arm so I loop mine into his and we head into the city.

...

"Wow. This is beautiful. I didn't know there was anything like this in Sendai."

"I know. It definitely wasn't here when we went to Yamaku, and I guess it is relatively new?"

Hisao has taken me to a viewing platform on top of the tallest building in the city. It has a 360 degree view and mounted binoculars that let you see all over the city. It is a little crowded, with many other couples having the same idea, but we find a quiet corner where he can lean against the wall and I can put my head on his chest and my arms around his waist. His arms are around me too, resting on my lower back.

"The view is beautiful."

"If you think it looks great now, you're going to love it in just a few seconds."

As he finishes his sentence, I hear a loud popping sound and fireworks begin to light up the night sky all around us.

I smile at him. "Fireworks! You are quite the planner. Trying to sweep me off my feet Mister Nakai?"

I tease him about it, but the more I see how carefully planned this night was, the more special I feel.

"Haha maybe."

I pull him down and give him a quick kiss.

"Well, it's working."

"Good."

We hold each other close while we watch the fireworks in silence for a while. I am reminded of the last time we watched fireworks together. At the festival, where I made the decision to open myself up to Hisao on a different roof. To tell him everything. To actually show him who I am. That all led here. I squeeze him tight while reminiscing about this. He hugs me back and starts stroking my hair.

I could get used to this.

...

Once we get back to town it has gotten pretty late. As we arrive on my block I start fidgeting. This has been a great night, and I want to ask him to stay with me, but I have to let it happen. Besides, if he doesn't have his medication he would have to go home anyway. While I am lost in my thoughts about the predicament, he asks a question.

"Do you think I would be okay parking here overnight? The sign says I should be fine, but it's your neighborhood."

Did he just say 'overnight'? Thank God!

"Y-yeah, you should be fine here."

"Oh shoot, I guess I didn't really ask. Can I stay with you tonight? I really enjoyed everything about our first date until the part when I had to leave you sleeping alone and thought we could make up for that tonight."

My heart is beating so loud I swear he has to be able to hear it.

"Of course!" I say that much more loudly than I meant to. "I would love it if you stayed. But…your medication?"

He laughs, "Well, I planned for that too. I have an overnight bag in the trunk with all that stuff."

Once we are up in my apartment we change out of our fancy clothes and into our pajamas. I am not sure exactly what he is thinking about sleeping arrangements tonight. Does he want to sleep on the couch together like I suggested before? Does he want to sleep in my bed? I don't want to pressure him at all, so I'm wearing far more clothing to bed than I usually do. Usually I go with a shirt and underwear, but I'm wearing some shorts and a bra today too. I decide to start out on the couch, as he seemed to like that idea the other day. I take off my legs and get comfortable under a blanket and lie down on the couch.

When he comes out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth, he spots me there and sidles up behind me just like on our first date. All he has on are his boxers and a tee shirt, so I can feel a whole lot more of him this time.

He kisses me below the ear and I turn around and wrap my arms around him and give him a long kiss on the lips, which he returns.

I break away from the kiss and look him in the eyes.

"Tonight has been really special, Hisao. Thanks for doing all that for me. I had a lot of fun and…it was really nice being out with you like that."

"I had fun too Emi. I am glad I was able to show you a good time."

He reaches forward and brushes my hair out of my face and looks at me. Really looks at me. It is a little unnerving, but somehow I also can't look away.

"You're so beautiful Emi. I have thought that a lot lately but don't think I have come out and said it yet."

I feel my face getting red. He's right that he hasn't said something like that. I mean, I know he is into me and everything. In fact, I think I've known longer than he has, but he hasn't ever praised my appearance so directly.

I blush and poke him playfully. "Yeah well, you're not so bad yourself, mister."

Suddenly I feel him pull me forward, and before I know it we are locked in a passionate kiss, our tongues intertwined. He runs his hands up and down my back.

We kiss like this for a while, and before long I feel a familiar bulge against my leg. As soon as I do, I want nothing more than to reach down and stimulate him. Or rip his pants off and jump on top of him. But I resist these urges.

Come on Ibarazaki. You can do this. Let him take the initiative. Until then, this type of intimate contact is enough. It's more than enough, because it's him.

We continue kissing and he keeps getting harder and larger and is rubbing against my body. Then, it suddenly feels more well-defined than before. I sneak a look down and see that he is now poking entirely out of his boxers and is now rubbing directly against my hip.

I want to pleasure him so badly. I think he wants me to. There's no way he doesn't know it's just out like that, right? If he didn't want me to, he'd put it away. But I might be reading the situation wrong, and I don't want to push him. I need to find a way to ask him what he wants me to do so that I don't do something he isn't ready for, and I need to ask him in a way so that he doesn't feel pressured. I keep kissing him while formulating my proposition. When I figure it out, I break away from our kiss and smile at him.

"I don't want to do anything you don't want me to. So just let me know if you want me to do anything for you, okay?"

He doesn't reply with words, but he gently takes my hand in his and starts to direct it further down his body. He seems to be a little unsure, so I don't do anything to force the issue. I let him guide me the entire way. He's trembling, which makes me feel a little weary about this, but he is still moving my hand. Eventually, he feels my hand has arrived at its destination. He lets it go and pushes it down until my hand is in direct contact with his warm, throbbing skin.

I can't help but sigh happily as I touch this part of him for the first time. I'm so glad he wants me to do this.

He gasps when my hand comes into contact with it, and draws in a ragged breath as I wrap my fingers around it. I start stroking softly as we resume kissing one another. As we kiss, I am really aware of each little breath he takes in response to my hand.

I feel his hands go under my shirt and I gasp a little bit myself. He moves his hands all over my back and sides.

I break our kiss for a moment, "Do you want me to take it off?" He hesitates for a moment, but then nods. I take off my shirt and notice that he is looking at me lustily. "This too?" I say, while pointing at my bra. Again he hesitates, but then nods.

After I remove it I watch as his eyes take in my body, acutely aware that he is seeing me topless for the first time. I can tell he likes what he sees from the hunger in his eyes. He takes his shirt off too and pulls me back towards him. We resume our passionate kiss, now with our skin pressed directly against one another. It feels wonderful to feel his skin on mine.

I resume my work down below, gradually increasing the speed of my stroking. I feel his breathing become more and more labored, and he is starting to let out some little moans as his pleasure gradually increases. As I can feel him getting closer, I break off our kiss and scoot off the edge of the couch. I beckon him to sit up, and I kneel in front of him and lean against the couch to stabilize myself, now using both my hands in the stroking motion while I look up at him. His face contorts in pleasure, his body starts to convulse, I know he is nearing the edge.

Now that I'm seeing it up close, he's really big. I can't help but imagine how good it would feel inside of me, but I don't want to focus on that right now. In this moment, I want him to reach climax more than I have ever wanted anything. Nothing else matters but me and him. I love him so much. He loves me. This feels…different than the other times I've done this with guys. It makes me feel closer to him, and not just physically. He's sharing something very intimate with me. He hasn't done anything like this with anyone for so long. And he's choosing to do it with me.

I increase the speed as fast as I can possibly go and start rubbing the tip against my breasts as I stroke the rest. I feel desperate to see and feel the proof of how good I'm making him feel.

"E-emi, I'm going to…" he stammers.

Once he says this I kick things into an even higher gear, one I didn't even know I had. Every muscle in his body tenses up. He begins to throb in my hands.

"Good, Hisao…I want you to."

Unable to take it any longer after my request, he lets out a loud moan and his legs begin to shake, before a surprisingly voluminous stream of sticky white liquid issues forth onto my chest and neck. He isn't done either, as his body continues to convulse and more comes out. I keep stroking him until he's empty, which seems to last for half a minute. I didn't know guys could have orgasms like this. It is almost like he is having multiple orgasms cascading into another. Is this because it has been so long for him? Or is it always like this? Despite the vast quantity, I manage to direct most of it where I want it, onto my bare skin. The sensation is incredible.

"Th…that was...amazing" seems to be all he can manage to say, as he leans back on the couch, out of breath.

I look up at him and smile, proud of my accomplishment. He looks down at me, still breathing heavily, with half closed eyes and a goofy smile. He notices the mess he has made of me.

"Oh…, I didn't mean to…"

I smile up at him. "Don't be silly. I wanted it on me. I should probably go clean up though. Can you hand me my legs?"

He does so and I go to the bathroom to clean myself up with a huge smile on my face. We took a big step tonight. To be honest I'm not sure I thought we'd be doing this a week into the relationship with how hesitant he has been about this stuff. But he wanted to. This was really special. And I can't help but be a little moved. A feeling that embarrasses me a little bit. I mean, who gets emotional about giving their boyfriend a handjob? Still, I enjoy the feeling.

When I make it back to the living room Hisao's hand is on his chest, his eyes are closed, and he seems to be trying to control his breathing. Oh shit, he was breathing heavily a minute ago. Why didn't I pay better attention?

"E-everything okay?"

He opens his eyes and looks up at me. "Yeah, I am good now. My heart rate got a little elevated there at the end, and I was just making sure it was going back down. It happens from time to time."

Wow, I'm an idiot. I really should have considered his heart in all of this. But, my mind went kinda blank. I was only thinking about one thing.

"Oh…I didn't think about that. I should have. Is that…normal for you?"

He smiles bashfully, "You mean does my heart normally cause me problems during sexy time? No. At least, it didn't used to. As you know it…has been a really long time for me, so things may be different now."

He must have noticed the look of concern on my face, because he gets up and hugs me and puts his hand on my head.

"Don't worry about it too much okay? It wasn't even a full-on flutter. It's nothing serious. Just a little elevated. I will talk to my cardiologist about it when I see him next week, but I am sure it is nothing."

"Okay, good." I squeeze him back before getting a funny image in my head and I smirk at him. "How does that work anyway? Do you just walk in and say 'So, doc – the other day my girlfriend was giving me an amazing handjob and when I finished all over her smoking hot body I felt my heart rate get elevated. Do I need to worry about that?"

He laughs "I probably won't go into quite that much detail, but yeah pretty much."

As a medical professional myself, I feel very glad that my patients don't have to share their sex lives with me, especially because they're students.

He gives me a sweet kiss on the lips. "Really though, let's not worry about this right now. I don't want to put a damper on what has been a perfect night."

I nod and sit down on the couch next to him. When Hisao sees me starting to take off my legs, he lets me know he has other ideas for where we'll sleep tonight.

"Emi? We don't have to sleep out here unless you want to. Let's go sleep together in your bed, if that's okay."

I smile at him, "Okay, snuggling in the bed will be comfier."

I take him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom, where he snuggles me from behind and I fall asleep in his arms. This time, he doesn't have to leave.

Chapter 13

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2023 11:56 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 13 (Hisao)

Author's Note: Mild Sexual Content

"Well, Mr. Nakai, everything looks good with your heart. In fact, it has greatly improved since our previous two visits. Your exercise regimen is doing its job. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Yes, actually. I…recently became sexually active after a long hiatus, and during the act, my heart rate became quite elevated. Something it doesn't do very often anymore. I haven't had a flutter or anything, but I am a little concerned about it."

"Hmmm. So you're not also having issues during your daily exercise, at all?"

"No."

"Have you noticed a similar increase in your heart rate when you masturbate?"

It is amazing that he can say something like that and keep a straight face, but I guess it is his job.

"Um…no. But it has been a long time since I have even done that."

"How long, exactly?"

"Um…S-six years." He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

I switched doctors when I moved back to Yamaku, so he never knew Saki like my old doctor did. After all, she went to my appointments with me whenever she could. My old doctor in Tokyo would have immediately understood the situation without looking at me like I am some sort of freak of nature. So, this one doesn't know the whole story, and I'm not going to fill him in. Of course, even if he did, I'm not sure how common it is to entirely lose your sex drive for years after losing your spouse.

"Well, since you aren't having issues with your exercise regimen, I suspect this was a one time thing that happened because it was something you hadn't done in a while. It probably happened not just because of the physical exertion, but I suspect you were quite nervous too since it has been so long?"

He doesn't know the half of it. I swear I was trembling during parts of it. Luckily I don't think Emi noticed.

"Yes, I was nervous."

"That's probably it then. I think it will subside. Still, do your best to keep an eye on things again next time. We may need to adjust your medication a little bit if it doesn't stop."

"Okay, thank you doctor. I'll be sure to monitor things."

"Think nothing of it Mr. Nakai. Before you leave, do me a favor and schedule another appointment two months out. Of course, if you find yourself having problems before then, don't hesitate to call."

"Will do, see you next time."

Well, that was an awkward conversation, but it had to be done. I have some peace of mind at least.

I check the time. Emi and I are both really busy today and won't be able to see each other tonight, but she wanted me to let her know how the appointment went as soon as I could.

By the time I make it to the car, it is 5:30, and Emi's club activities should be done for the day. I give her a call using the bluetooth connection in my car, she answers after only one ring. She must have known I was going to be calling her at any minute.

"Hey Hisao. How was the appointment?"

Well, I guess we're getting right to the point. I can hear voices in the background, so she's probably still at track club and can't talk for long. I fill her in on what happened.

She lets out a relieved sigh, "I'm glad to hear that everything is pretty good. We'll definitely keep an eye on your heart from now on. I still feel a little bad that I didn't think about it more at the time. I guess I should think about getting out my stethoscope the same way I used to do it when you finished your runs" She laughs, "But, now that I know it was nothing serious," her voice becomes a whisper "I'm kind of proud I was able to get your heart beating so hard."

I laugh, "You should be. It was amazing, after all. So are you."

She lets out a laugh that is equal parts cute and proud.

"Well Hisao, unfortunately I have to go." I swear I can actually hear her pouting. "See you for our run in the morning. Love you "

"Love you too, Emi."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emi and I seem to have settled into a rhythm. We of course see eachother every day for our run and lunch, but we also go over to her place a couple of nights a week where we have dinner together and usually fool around. Unfortunately I'm never able to stay very long, but the time we do get to spend together is great. She's informally in charge of these weekday 'dates' at her place, while I'm informally in charge of what we do on the weekend.

Today is the day for one of those weekend dates, and I planned a much more casual one this time. We'll be going to the zoo in Sendai. She has been to this zoo before, so even though I'm the one who planned it, she's the one who knows the place. She has talked about how cute some of the animals there are on a number of occasions, so that's where I got the idea.

I'm really happy with Emi. Happier than I have been in a long time. She's beautiful and a lot of fun to be around. She has an amazing sense of humor, and the child-like wonder and enthusiasm she has for things is infectious.

But…I would be lying if I said I don't sometimes feel a twinge of guilt for feeling this way. And then I feel a twinge of guilt for feeling guilty. I still really miss Saki, too. Is that okay? Chisato said it was, but I don't know sometimes.

Emi has been really great at going along with my slow pace, and she's been very understanding. I guess that makes sense, because we were such close friends so long before we started dating. She knows exactly what I've been through, and how I've felt. So she understands why I want to go slow. I haven't outright told her, but she has all the pieces of the puzzle and she's plenty smart enough to put it all together. Still, I know it can't be easy for her, since she wanted us to have sex the day we started dating.

Still, tonight will be the first time I stay the night with her after getting cleared by my doctor, and I think we should take another step in the intimacy department. When she does things for me, she makes sure that I know she enjoys it and doesn't necessarily need me to do anything for her, that just kissing and snuggling is enough. But that's going to change later today. I really want to make her feel good too for being so good to me.

I finish packing my overnight bag and get ready to drive over and pick her up.

...

"Hisao, come quick! The capybara are swimming!"

On the drive up here, I learned that capybara are Emi's favorite animal. I had a vague idea of what they were, mostly from biology class at university. They are the largest rodents in the world, and they look like really large semi-aquatic guinea pigs. I would never have guessed that Emi likes them so much. I would have thought the cheetah was her favorite animal.

I speed up my pace so that I can catch up with my very excited girlfriend. When I do, I see that 'swimming' was kind of an overstatement, and that I really didn't need to hurry to make sure I saw what she wanted me to see. These oversized rodents are in the water for sure, but they seem to just be chilling there. Several others are outside of the water, letting water drip on to their heads from pipes. They all look so content. Their eyes are only partially open, like they are all half asleep. I just saw one of them yawn.

"These are the most relaxed animals I've seen in my entire life," I muse.

"I know, right? Some animals are fun to watch because they do a whole bunch of stuff, like monkeys or kangaroos. But these guys are always lounging around like this. It is really relaxing and satisfying to watch them. You can find lots of videos of them online doing exactly this, and they have millions of views, so I'm not the only one who loves watching them."

I put my arm around her and smile at her, "I would never have guessed that the girl who can't stand still for more than a moment would have such an affinity for an animal like this." We both laugh.

"You know, I never thought of it that way. Maybe I like them so much because they are so different from me. I don't know. I do know I really want to crawl in there and snuggle with one of them, though." She looks to her left and her right, as if she's checking for security, and takes a few steps closer to the edge of the enclosure.

"Really? You want to snuggle with a giant water rat?"

"Yeah, why not? They're cute. And maybe I'll absorb some of their super chill energy."

We stay and watch the capybara for awhile, and I have to say, the more I watch these guys, the more they grow on me. I can see why people think watching them is relaxing. Although if I sit here too long, I think I'll fall asleep.

After that, we ran all over the zoo looking at the various animals, with Emi excitedly exclaiming about every little thing they did. It was really cute.

Before we left, we stopped at the gift shop, and Emi pointed out a lot of stuffed animals she thought were cute. Eventually, I noticed one of them was a capybara, and I offered to get it for her, which resulted in a look of pure joy on her face as she pulled it out of my hands and hugged it. I was a little embarrassed by this occurring in public, but she's too cute for that feeling to linger for long.

We are walking to the car when something dawns on me, "You know Emi, I think you revert to your childhood a little bit when you go to the zoo."

She blushes a little bit and looks down at her new treasure. "Maybe. I have come to this zoo a lot ever since I was little. My dad used to take me. That might be part of why I like it so much."

Well, that makes me feel a little bad for teasing her, but she doesn't seem offended. She looks up at me with a smile and grabs my hand. "I'm glad you took me to the zoo too. Thank you. We'll have to come back sometime."

...

When we get back to Emi's apartment it is only about 6 p.m. and we're a little hungry even though we ate some junk at the zoo. Emi quickly whips up some omelets for us so we can have a little bite to eat. We're both pretty tired. It is Saturday, so we had a half day of work before we went on our little date.

We snuggle up on the couch, with Emi holding her stuffed capybara and laying her head on my lap. We put something on the TV. Before I know it my eyes are feeling rather heavy.



I wake up on the couch and look around. Emi is asleep with her new plush friend and drooling in my lap, but she starts to stir as a result of my movements.

"Mmn…we fell asleep didn't we?" She asks without opening her eyes.

"Yeah we did. We really are getting old."

"I can't help it. I tired myself out at the zoo and you're really comfy. What time is it anyway?"

"9:30. I guess we were asleep for like…two and a half hours?"

She opens her eyes and sits up, doing so with a little bit of urgency. I don't think she thought it was going to be quite that late. She must have had something planned. Little does she know, I have a plan too.

Somehow, even though she has bedhead and was quite literally just drooling in my lap, she manages to look and sound incredibly seductive. She traces her finger up my chest.

"Well, Mister Nakai. At least the night is still relatively young, even if we aren't. What do you think we should do now?"

"I've never seen someone so disheveled look so attractive."

"Hmm...I THINK I'll take that as a compliment, but it seems a little sket–mmm!"

I interrupt her mid sentence with a kiss. She throws her arms around my neck and giggles while she kisses me back as she falls back on the couch, with me on top of her.

After spending some time kissing her lips, I start kissing her along her chin and neck, and she keeps one hand on the back of my head as she sighs softly with each of my well-placed kisses.

I kiss her shoulders and collarbone before removing her shirt and continuing to move down her body, exploring it with my mouth. At first I kiss her around the edges of her bra, causing her to squirm. She can't take it for long, though. She deftly reaches behind herself with one arm, undoes the clasp and tosses it across the room. Apparently she had enough of my teasing. Her chest now bare, I spend some significant time kissing her breasts and nipples, which elicits the biggest reaction out of her so far. As I continue kissing her chest, I slide my hand down between her legs, which she opens for me, and I rub her through her shorts.

"Oh, Hisao.." she whispers as her grip on my hair tightens. This is the first time I've touched her like this.

I start to pull her shorts down, but encounter some difficulty.

She giggles playfully "If you want to get those off while I'm lying down, it will probably be easier if you take my legs off first. Do you know how?"

I have seen her put them on and take them off enough that I think I am up to the challenge.

I nod and go about taking them off.

I had never thought about it before, but It strikes me that this is something especially intimate for Emi. Who else would take off her legs for her? This is actually pretty special.

I fumble with them a little bit, but manage to get the first one off and gently put it on the ground. I also successfully take off the second one, but manage to fall backwards off the couch just as it comes off.

"Oof!"

"Hisao, are you okay?" She sits up to get a look at me, and I can hear some genuine concern in her voice.

I gather myself and spring to my feet, pretending that I never fell in the first place.

"Yep, all good. Perhaps we should move to the bedroom though, where we'll have more room?"

She giggles at me and then nods. She outstretches her arms, indicating she wants me to carry her. I bend over and pick her up and carry to her bedroom. She manages to undo my belt on the way there.

Chapter 14

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2023 12:10 pm
by guthrum06
Chapter 14 (Emi)

Author's Note: Sexual Content

Hisao gently puts me down on the bed before sliding my shorts off. I am not sure where this is going exactly, but he hasn't taken the initiative like this before and I am loving being the object of his affections.

Hisao slithers up the bed and gives me a passionate kiss before he resumes what he was doing on the couch. He kisses my breasts softly while touching me through my panties. It feels incredible. Eventually my hips start moving on their own, as my body reaches out for more pleasure. I really didn't think he'd be touching me like this any time soon, so I'm ecstatic to experience pleasure at his hands.

"Hisao…That…feels so good."

He notices that I am desperate for more, so he kisses me all the way down from my breasts until he gets right above my panties while he continues to rub his hand against me. My body twitches at his touch. This reminds me of how he was kissing me right around my bra earlier. He is definitely a tease, and it is only making me even more desperate for him.

Finally, mercifully, he slides my panties off. I am keenly aware that this is the first time Hisao has seen me entirely naked. I adore how he's looking at me. I know he loves me for who I am more than anything, but I can see that he loves how I look too. He wraps his arms around my thighs and pulls me to the edge of the bed. Making me gasp, moan, and giggle all at the same time. Then he kneels and gently kisses my thighs while he begins rubbing me in most sensitive place. Feeling his bare hand on me gives me a jolt of incredible pleasure.

He continues to pleasure me on the outside with his hand for a while before he gently slides a finger inside of me. My muscles tense up and I arch my back at the stimulation.

He starts moving his finger and my insides are going wild.

This…this is crazy. The level of stimulation I am feeling is far more than it should be. Is this…because it's him? Because I love him? It is hard to imagine what actual sex will feel like if this feels this good.

After moving his finger in and out of me for a while, I start to approach the outskirts of a climax. But then, he stops. I let out a disappointed whimper, but I can't be disappointed for long. He kisses me tantalizingly close to the pleasure center just above my opening, and even his warm breath is making me shudder. Then he starts to kiss the most sensitive spot of them all. First with his lips, but then his tongue enthusiastically gets involved.

After a gentle build up, his tongue begins to rapidly stimulate me from all directions. He…really knows what he is doing. The muscles in my stomach and back are already starting to contract, completely outside of my control. As he increases the speed and frequency of his tongue movements, I hear myself making noises I didn't even know I was capable of.

This…this is…incredible. I still can't tell if it is because of his technique or because he is so much more special to me than anyone else I have done this with, but who the hell cares? The pleasure I am experiencing is pure bliss.

My body's involuntary contractions become more frequent and more intense. I am not sure I have stopped moaning for the last several minutes. I try to tell him how good it feels but I currently seem to be incapable of speech.

I can feel the tension building to its inevitable conclusion. My legs shake, my breathing becomes ragged. Every muscle in my body feels like it is convulsing.

I grip the bed sheets and arch my back as I let out a moan that seems to last for minutes as pleasure cascades throughout my body.

That was...amazing. Now I want to make him feel good.

But he doesn't let up or stop just because I had an orgasm. He keeps going. He wants me to feel even better. I…I am going crazy. My body is writhing in pleasure. Everything is going white. I am already incapable of speech, soon I don't think I will be able to think either.



Some time and several orgasms later, my mind returns to my body. I am the best kind of exhausted and sore. Hisao is lying next to me, partially clothed, tracing his finger up and down my back.

I roll over to face him and give him a soft kiss.

"Hisao…that was…don't even know what…was. I can't even…words…hard...right now…was amazing."

He smiles at me. "It was, wasn't it? I really enjoyed doing that for you. It was amazing seeing how good I was making you feel."

I stroke his chest with my finger and give him my best bedroom eyes. "Do you…want me…to return the favor?"

He laughs at me, not exactly a response I want my boyfriend to have when I proposition him, so I give him a frown.

"I mean I would, but you seem exhausted and barely able to move."

I mean, he's not wrong.

"But… not…fair." I pout.

He clicks his tongue. "Come on, Emi. This is the first time I have even done something for you. You've done something for me plenty of times without expecting anything in return. I am just happy to be here snuggled up next to you, just like you are when you do it for me."

He reaches his arms out and pulls me close to him, prompting a giggle out of me. I love it when he pulls me close to him like that.

"I think we should probably just go to sleep. Its late. We had a busy day. We need the rest." He turns off the lamp on the nightstand.

"Okay…you have a point. Goodnight. I love you...so much. " A little embarrassed about how lovey-dovey that is, I add "Especially now that I know you can do that."

He laughs and gives me a squeeze and a kiss. "I love you too Emi."

...

I'm in the back seat of dad's car, enjoying the strawberry ice cream he let me get while we were at the grocery store. This has been a really great day.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Emi?"

"Thanks for the ice cream and taking me on errands with you today, it was fun!"

He laughs. "I'm glad you enjoyed it Emi. I don't normally like doing errands, but you certainly made them enjoyable for me today. I'm sure your mother will be pleased with what we are able to accomplish. Just...don't tell her about the ice cream, she's not going to like that."

I give him a proud nod while I continue to eat my ice cream.

Out of nowhere, I hear the loudest sound I've ever heard in my life and everything goes black. The next instant I wake up in the car. My head is fuzzy and my whole body hurts. Especially the bottom half of my legs. The passenger seat in front of me has somehow been pushed right up against me.

I look up in the driver's seat and try to see my dad. But I only see part of him. The front of the car has been pushed back inside, and I mostly see metal and plastic where he should be.

"..daddy?"

There's no response, and I start to cry uncontrollably. I try to take off my seat belt to check on him. I get my seatbelt off but I still can't move. The seat in front of me has my legs pinned down. I try to wrench them free but I can't.

"DAD!"

I start to hear the sound of crunching metal coming from outside of the car, and an opening is created on the passenger side in the front.

A fireman sticks his head inside the car and sees me. He tries to look at me and give me a comforting smile, but I can see that he is quite concerned.

"Don't try to move, we'll get you out of there, okay?"

"M-my dad is in here too. Please, please help him first! I'm okay, just help him. He's not answering me."

He looks over where I am pointing and a shadow passes over his face. He doesn't say anything to me. He just disappears from the opening he created.

I hear the same sound of metal being crunched and cut, and he creates a new opening closer to me, where the door used to be. He and several other firemen manage to remove the seat that's in front of me, and one of them picks me up and takes me out of the car. My legs looks mangled but I can't really feel anything right now. The only thing I care about is….

"My dad! Mister, please help my dad. He's still in the car. I'm okay but… I…I…don't think he's okay. He needs you to help him. Please Please just put me down and go help him first!"

He doesn't respond to me, so I start pounding him on the shoulder as hard as I can with my fist, punctuating every word of my plea. "Why won't you LISTEN. He's back there in the car. Help him, PLEASE help him."

He doesn't say anything or even look at me. He just continues to carry me. He has a very somber look on his face. I think I might even be able to make out some tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He carries me to the back of an ambulance where they start to tend to me and ask me questions about how my legs feel. They close the back doors of the ambulance, and when they do I try to get up so I can run back to the car and see my dad. I haveto see if he's okay. Why won't they help him or say anything about him? When I realize I can't get out of the ambulance under my own power, I do the only thing I can, I scream for my father while tears stream down my face.

"Dad!"

As the ambulance starts to drive away, I start to hear a distant voice calling my name, but it is garbled. It slowly becomes more clear, and I start to make it out over my labored crying.

"Emi? Hey, Emi are you okay?"

I open my eyes. I'm in my bedroom. I'm naked. My face is moist, and as my eyes adjust I see that I'm looking up at the face of my very concerned boyfriend who is hovering over me from the side of the bed. He has his hands on my shoulders. He was probably shaking me. He sees that he has managed to wake me up and looks relieved.

"You were screaming, crying, and thrashing around. It was a little scary. I guess you were having…that dream?"

"Y-yeah…sorry to wake you up like that."

"What are you sorry for? It isn't like you can help it."

Why is he so sweet?

"I knew about this dream, but I couldn't fully understand how intense it is. I probably still can't, but seeing how it affected you…I definitely have a better idea now. That seems so awful."

He lies back down in bed and pulls me close to him, hugging me tightly from behind. It makes me feel a lot better.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Those used to be my least favorite words. I used to hate people trying to make me talk about this, to talk about anything personal. I have ended several relationships and friendships because people wouldn't stop asking me that question. But coming from him, it's different. It has been for a long time at this point, even before we became a couple. He understands my pain and grief.

"Well, it isn't anything you don't already know. Just that very vivid dream that feels like I'm reliving the worst day of my life. The dream is almost always the same. As you know, it mostly happens around the anniversary. But sometimes I'll randomly have the dream like I did tonight. Thanks for pulling me out of it."

I normally can't go right back to sleep after I've had this nightmare. I just get up and go for a run to clear my head. Even that doesn't always give me the peace I need to get some more sleep. But the way Hisao is holding me and how concerned and caring he is has me feeling very safe and drowsy. And loved. I think I can get back to sleep.

Before I drift off, I want to ask him something important.

"Hisao? I want to visit dad's grave tomorrow. It usually helps me the day after I have this dream. I'd like it if you could…um…Can you come with me?"

He kisses the nape of my neck softly. It makes me shiver a little bit.

"Of course. I'd be happy to."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We get a little bit of a late start the next morning for obvious reasons, but before long we are in Hisao's car, heading towards Sendai.

"My mom still lives in Sendai, you know." He looks at me out of the corner of his eyes and I detect a little bit of anxiety in his expression, but it is quickly gone.

"Yeah you have mentioned that. I still can't believe she married the nurse from our time at Yamaku. I mean, I can, but well..you know what I mean."

"Don't worry Hisao, we aren't going to meet them today. I wouldn't hit you with that and visiting my father all at once. I don't even know if I could handle that."

He sighs in relief. "That's good. I do want to meet them, though. Or in the case of the nurse, re-meet him"

I giggle. "You can just call him Shohei, you know. Actually, he prefers Sho. It is funny hearing you call him 'nurse.'"

"That's all I never knew him as. Which is kind of crazy. He helped me and Saki a lot back in the day, and I somehow never knew his name. Honestly, it will be nice to thank him for that stuff, all these years later. He is a really good guy."

"Maybe we can go over to their place for dinner next weekend?" He nods in agreement. I'm glad he wants to meet them.

I fidget in my seat. "So...you've probably already guessed at this, but I have never visited my dad's grave with anyone. Except for my mom and Sho, that is…"

He reaches his hand out and I take it. He squeezes my hand.

"I know this is really important. I'm happy I can offer my support."

...

I lead Hisao into the cemetery by the hand. It is a short walk before we arrive at my father's grave. I don't say anything to Hisao. Words aren't necessary. I turn around and give him a tight hug, before I walk a few steps and kneel in front of the grave.

I am not a very spiritual person. But sometimes I swear I can feel my dad's presence here. On the off chance I'm right about that, maybe this way he can meet Hisao. I want him to.

After giving me some time alone with my dad, Hisao approaches me, as if he's aware of my desire for them to meet.

"Do you mind if I…join you? I know I didn't know him, but I kind of feel like I do, through you. I want to pay him my respect."

I am truly touched by this, and feel myself start to tear up. I can't even talk. I wish my dad really could have known him. I think he would have liked him. I think he would be happy I finally found someone. He would be happy that Hisao likes to run, too. I smile up at him and pat on the grass next to me, and he accepts my invitation. Hisao gets down on his knees and bows his head.

...

We get back in the car and begin our drive back home. We sit in silence for awhile, but an important question comes to my mind, and it is related to a topic that has been nagging at me for a little while

"Do you..ever visit Saki's grave?"

I can see that my question makes him uncomfortable, but he tersely answers my question. "I do."

He's so different when he talks about her now. I have to say something about it.

"Maybe this isn't the best time to bring it up…but I have noticed since we started dating we don't talk about her as much as we used to. We used to talk about her all the time. And I…understand why we don't talk about it now…it is kind of different now. But just like remembering and honoring my dad is important to me, I know she is important to you. She should be. I want you to know that I…don't envision myself as somehow replacing her or something like that. She's always going to be in your heart, just like my dad is in mine. It isn't going to hurt my feelings if you talk about her. I want to be there and support you during those times just like you did for me last night and today. I don't want you to hold back on that just because I'm your girlfriend now, okay?"

He drives in silence for a little while, looking deep in thought. I start to get really nervous that I messed things up by crossing a line I shouldn't have.

Just when I'm about to apologize, he says, "You're right. I shouldn't hold those things back from you. But…I'm still working on how to bring that back into our relationship, now that it's different. I will get there, I promise. But just be patient with me." He gives me a cute smile "I know I ask that of you a lot."

I smile back at him. "As I think my actions have reflected, I can be quite patient with you Hisao." I giggle. "I have surprised myself a bit there, If I am being honest."

Chapter 15

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2023 9:34 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 15 (Hisao POV)

Author's Note: Sexual Content

"So, are you ready for dinner at my mom's tomorrow?"

It is Friday. Emi and I are having our usual lunch in the tea room, and discussing our plans for the weekend.

"I think so. I amgetting a little bit nervous."

Emi laughs, "That makes sense, I guess. I'm a little nervous too." She pauses and looks a little embarassed. "This probably doesn't surprise you at this point, but you'll be the first guy I've ever brought home."

I wish she wouldn't beat herself up so much for her self-conciousness about not having a serious boyfriend before.

I smile at her and reach out to hold her hand, "Well, I'm honored to be the first."

She smiles back, "Be warned, my mom is…kind of a lot. She's a loving, wonderful person, don't get me wrong. But she really enjoys getting under my skin. Don't um…don't be surprised if she mentions something about grandkids. Just ignore it if she does. She might also be a little flirty with you. Just ignore that too."

I laugh, "Ah, so she's one of those moms. I'm sure she'll keep me on my toes."

"Yeah, I don't want you to leave with that as your main impression of her though." She laughs, "She actually really helped me when I was struggling with whether or not to confess to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She actually lost my dad…around the same age you lost Saki, and her relationship story with Sho is similar to ours. They were close friends for a long time and all that. She told me all about it during that visit home, and she ultimately convinced me to go for it."

"Well, I'll have to thank her for that."

"Yes, so think about that version of my mom going into this, and not the one who might awkwardly flirt with you and ask about grandchildren even though we've only been together a month, okay?"

I laugh, "Okay, Emi. I'm sure it will be fine. You sound more nervous than me now. Anything I should know ahead of time about Sho the Nurse?"

"Are you really going to call him that?"

"I dunno, it is better than just Nurse, right? And I can't quite drop that word from it. It seems unnatural."

She laughs, "Okay, weirdo. But no, I don't think there's really anything about him you don't already know since you were around him so much back in the day. He's a really goofy guy and he's a little off, but as you seem to already be aware, also one of the kindest, most loving people in the world. I am way less nervous about what he might do than my mom."

I laugh. "Yeah that is…pretty much how I would describe him based on my interacting with him as the nurse, so you're right, nothing new there."

This talk about grandchildren has made me realize I need to tell her something important.

"Um…Emi, I know your mom is probably kind of kidding with the grandchildren thing, but it made me realize there is something pretty important that you should know. I should have told you sooner. Actually…it might even be a deal breaker."

I hope it isn't.

Emi's face becomes very serious, and she reaches out for my hand and I give it to her. She is sitting on the edge of her seat.

"I…um…I don't want to have biological children. I…actually can't have them. I got a vasectomy so we…me and Saki, didn't have to worry. We both had conditions with genetic components, and didn't want to pass them on."

Emi's face and posture both relax significantly upon hearing this, and she gets up, sits on the arm of my chair and puts her arm around me.

"That makes sense. I noticed you said 'biological children,' that means you are open to the idea of adoption, right?"

"Right."

She pauses for a moment that feels like an eternity, then she smiles.

"Okay, then that's good with me. We don't have to go any deeper on this now, since we've only been together a little while. But it definitely isn't a deal breaker for me, okay?"

She gives me a quick, sweet kiss, which I return.

I smile at her when we break the kiss and give her a squeeze.

"Thank goodness."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are at the door to Emi's family home. We are here for dinner. Emi is next to me holding my hand, and squeezing it rather tight, as we wait for someone to open the door.

I look down and smile at her in an attempt to reassure her, but she is pretty nervous about this. I mean, I am too, but you'd think she's the one meeting my parents.

Eventually a woman who could only be Emi's mother answers the door. They have very different frames. She's a taller, curvier woman. But their faces, and their facial expressions are almost identical. It is a little uncanny. I also note that the Ibarazaki women must have a gene for looking much younger than they actually are.

"Hi sweetie, thanks for coming home for dinner. This is going to be lovely." She hugs her daughter, but Emi only gives a half-hearted hug back. Then her mother turns to me with a very wide smile.

"And you must be Hisao, I'm very happy to meet you. My daughter has told me so much about you."

"It is nice to meet you too Mrs. Ibarazaki."

She clicks her tongue. "Oh no no no, you're almost a member of the family as far as I am concerned. You will call me Meiko."

Then, to my surprise, she embraces me in a tight hug. When she does, she whispers in my ear. "She told me you were handsome, but goodness. You've made this old lady's heart skip a beat."

Was that an arrhythmia joke, or just a coincidence? Either way, she has me flustered.

She releases the hug and winks at me before turning to Emi and saying, "Well come in, come in, let's get this lovely night started."

Emi looks at me, seeing that I am a little flushed and a lot embarrassed. "Goddammit. What did she say to you?" All I do in response is shrug. I want to be on her mom's good side, and it is kind of funny seeing Emi this flustered about this. She shoots me an irritated look and walks into the house yelling after her mother, "Mom what did you say to him?" I follow her inside.

Meiko shoots an approving look at me, knowing that I have helped her get away with something and then turns to Emi. "Oh nothing dear, don't worry about it."

Emi sighs in frustration and crosses her arms. "Okay, whatever you two. Enjoy your little secret. See if I care." The look on her face clearly indicates that she cares.

I see the nurse in the kitchen, where he is chopping up fruit and putting together a fruit tray. He looks much the same as I remember him, although he isn't wearing a lab coat and his hair is now mostly gray. He washes his hands in the sink and comes to greet us. As usual, he is winking for some reason.

"Hello, Emi. Nice of you to visit. It is always nice to have you." He reaches an arm around for her a one-armed hug.

"Hi Sho, I'm glad to be here even if some people are hiding things from me." She looks at me and her mother in an accusatory fashion.

She's really making this a much bigger deal than it is, but I guess he probably knows that, since he doesn't really respond.

"Anyway, Sho, this is my boyfriend. I'd introduce you, but I think you already know him."

"Yes, of course, it is nice to see you again Mr. Nakai. It has been quite some time."

"Yes, it has. It is really nice to see you again."

"I'm pleased to hear that your heart is doing quite well." Even in a casual setting like this, and seeing him for the first time in 16 years, the nurse wants to talk about my health.

"Yes, Emi has really helped me in that regard. That pacemaker that I got near the end of my time at Yamaku has also kept me out of extended stays at the hospital all these years, so that's worked out nicely."

He smiles at me, and puts a hand on my shoulder, "I'm very glad to hear that."

I look around and notice that Emi is bickering rather intensely with her mom about something in the living room.

Surely…it isn't still about her mom whispering something to me? Right? Well, whatever. I am definitely not going in there right now. I have something important I want to tell the nurse anyway.

"So, Nurse…err…I mean, Sho…is it…alright if I call you that?"

He nods. "Yes, I suppose I should have called you 'Hisao,' a moment ago. Old habits die hard." I'm thankful he doesn't think I'm crazy for struggling with this.

"I was really happy when Emi told me that you were part of her life, and that I would have the opportunity to meet you again, because I've wanted to thank you…for a very long time."

"Thank me?"

"Yeah. As an 18-year old kid you don't really think to thank people as much. I guess you take things for granted. But as I've looked back at my time at Yamaku, I always remember you and how big of a help you were. I always appreciated that you were genuinely concerned about me, and did whatever you could to help me. I know…Saki really wanted to thank you too. I don't know if you remember it, but she always talked about that time when she hurt her ankle on the way up the hill, and you helped her. Your shift was over, and you got her to the hospital and everything. She always appreciated that. Basically, you really went above and beyond in your dedication to the students' well-being, including for me and my friends. I mean, you even smuggled her fish tank out of her room for her!" We both laugh at the memory. "So yeah…it really meant a lot to us, even if we didn't say it at the time."

He puts his hand on my shoulder and puts on a goofy smile, but I can see in his one open eye that he has actually been somewhat moved by what I had to say.

"I was happy to help you, Hisao. And the other students too. I do remember that night with Saki." He frowns. "I...want to tell you how sorry I was to hear about her passing. Just like you waited all these years to thank me, I've waited far too long to give you my condolences."

I smile at him, "Thanks. I think it will be nice getting to know you as…not the head nurse."

He winks at me, "It will be nice getting to know you as well, Hisao. Anyway, we can talk more later, I need to go back to the dinner preparations. Why don't you go have a seat in the living room?"

I walk into the living room, where thankfully Meiko and Emi are no longer arguing and have fallen silent. Emi is violently eating some grapes with a scowl on her face. She looks up at me, and I can see she's still annoyed. I sit in a chair across from the couch where Emi and her mother are seated.

"Excuse me, I'm going to go help Sho finish dinner."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, dear. You're our guest. You stay here with your lovely girlfriend."

After she leaves, I ask Emi "Are…you actually mad at me about this?"

She sighs. "Not really. I just…I wanted to make sure she wasn't asking you about grandchildren because of our conversation the other day. She wouldn't tell me, you wouldn't tell me. I got worried." She looks at me with desperation in her eyes. "She didn't right?"

It is nice that she is concerned about me, but it isn't that big of a deal.

"No no, she did the other thing you warned me about." I say with a wink.

She rolls her eyes but also looks relieved. "Okay that's good. I'm sorry…I should have probably told her ahead of time not to bring up grandchildren and then I was upset with myself that I didn't. I thought I may have really messed things up."

I get up, move next to her on the couch and put my arm around her.

"Emi, you're overthinking things a little, okay? Even if your mom had said that, it wouldn't be a big deal, and I wouldn't be mad at you."

"Really?" She looks up at me with those green eyes I have come to love so much

"Really." I give her a soft, quick kiss.

She blushes. "This is all new to me...so I feel lost sometimes. Thank you."

"There have been a few times now where you thought something really small was going to mess things up between us. It is going to take a whole lot more than this for me to actually get upset about something. And, even if I am upset about something, or if you are, we can always talk about it. It would take a whole lot for me to feel like you were messing up something this good, okay?"

She nods and smiles up at me. "Okay." This time she kisses me, and I can tell that she would like it to be a lot more than an innocent little kiss on her family's couch, because her hand is gripping the fabric of my shirt on my chest, but she manages to break it off before things get too intense.

It's a good thing too, because the end of our kiss is punctuated with applause from Emi's mother who has reentered the room, and is smiling ear to ear. Emi isn't pleased.

"Mooom. Come on!"

"I'm sorry dear. It was just a lovely thing to see. That's all. Anyway, dinner is ready." Then, with a twinkle in her eye she say, "Unless…I was interrupting something?"

Emi apologizes to me with her eyes as we stand up and head towards the dining room. I actually find the whole thing kind of funny. But, I imagine when she meets my parents she won't be nearly as annoyed by them as I am.

We enjoy a really great dinner, consisting mostly of traditional Japanese food. That makes sense, because Emi isn't as familiar with foreign cuisine. After we're finished, we start talking.

"So, Sho, Are you still in nursing?"

"I am. I'm the head nurse now at the children's hospital here in Sendai."

"I see, that seems like it suits you pretty well."

He nods. "There are…hard days, for sure, just like at Yamaku. But I get to help a lot of kids who are having a hard time, and that's pretty fulfilling. What about you? You're a teacher right? I guess you must like helping young people too, albeit in a different way."

"Yeah, I teach science. I kind of see it as helping people understand the world around them and how it works." I drape my arm over the back of Emi's chair. "She thinks I am a little self-important when I say that, but it is how I feel."

She laughs and squeezes my leg under the table. "I was mostly kidding. I like that you love what you do so much."

Meiko joins the conversation, "Okay everyone, that's enough work talk for one night I think. I for one would like to learn a little more about Hisao. Everyone else at the table knows him so much better than I do." I now see that the Ibarazaki women must all also possess a powerful pouting gene.

Emi sighs, "Do you really need to interrogate him, mom?"

She smiles at Emi and winks at me, "I should hope it will be a good deal more pleasant than that word would imply, but yes, I do want to ask him some questions if that's alright. Nothing crazy, I promise."

Emi looks at me, apologizing with her eyes again.

"I would be happy to answer your questions, Meiko."

"See, dear?" She looks at Emi with a gloating smile. "He doesn't mind."

Emi rolls her eyes and squeezes my leg again under the table to offer her support, but I'm not too worried.

"Well I'd just like to know a little more about how you and my daughter met. So you and Emi have actually known each other quite a long time, is that right?"

"It is. We originally met right after I transferred to Yamaku. Just a few days after I got there during the third year. She literally ran into me in the hallway, and that's how we met. I actually tried running with her way back then, as Sho suggested, but it didn't go super well."

Meiko laughs, "I see, you two were friends back then?"

I look at Emi, "Yeah, I would say so, not close but we got along." Emi nods in agreement. "We lost touch with each other until I got hired here. Would you believe that we met again when your daughter quite literally ran into me again?"

Emi shoots a glare at me, "Did you have to tell them that!?"

Meiko laughs, "That does sound like my Emi. She always did like to get places fast. Even when she was a toddler." She smiles.

"She gets that from her father, along with her love of running." I squeeze Emi's hand, worried this topic will make her uncomfortable, but she looks surprisingly steady. "So you two met again and became close friends, is that right?"

"Yes. We have a lot in common, and helped each other through some difficult times. We became quite close."

"That's lovely. And this closeness eventually blossomed into the love I can so clearly see between the two of you tonight?"

I smile at Emi, who looks frustrated with her mother.

"Yes, that's pretty much how it went."

Meiko smiles, "Good. I'm glad to hear it. My daughter isn't going to want me to say this, but I think I have to. I…want to thank you Hisao. In the time you have known my daughter she has not only become happier, but she has become more open with me. I have really cherished it."

"I'm glad to hear that." I give Emi's hand a squeeze. "I think my friends and family would say that Emi has really helped me too. I was not in the best place when I returned to Yamaku…mentally or physically. I hadn't been for years. But Emi has really helped me find a lot of things in life that I had given up on, and I am all the better for it."

I look at Emi, who is gazing at me lovingly and is tightly squeezing my hand.

I guess I hadn't really said that before, not in those words anyway.

Meiko beams at me, "That is so lovely for both of you. Seeing you two together tonight has brought us a lot of joy tonight. I hope you two continue to take good care of one another for a long time." She turns to her husband. "Well, Sho. Should we see these two love birds to the door? It is getting late."

I speak up, "I would really like to help clean up, if that's okay."

Emi joins in, "I'll help him. You two can go get ready for bed if you want to. You did a lot for us tonight. Thank you both."

Meiko and Sho exchange smiles. I get the feeling that Emi doesn't normally say things like that to them.

"Very well, we won't refuse such a generous offer. It was very nice meeting you, Hisao. I hope to see much more of you." She gives me a hug and whispers in my ear. "And again, thank you."

Emi picks up on this. "Did you whisper something to him again? Sho, are you okay with your wife flirting with much younger men? My boyfriend no less?" I can tell Emi isn't actually mad this time, just having some fun teasing her mother.

"I think you're imagining things dear." She says as she winks at me.

Sho laughs at the situation without commenting. "It was nice seeing you again Hisao. I'm sure we will see more of each other."

...

After finishing the dishes, Emi and I are headed home.

"So, what did you think?"

"I really liked them both. They are characters, that's for sure. The nurse almost seems normal next to your mom." I laugh.

Emi giggles, "Yeah, they clearly liked you too. It went really well, didn't it?"

"You say that like you're surprised."

She shrugs, "I guess I didn't know what to expect. My mom is…well, my mom. Luckily you don't get too flustered by her antics."

I laugh, "I think she bothers you more than she does me. I think they are both pretty fun."

She rolls her eyes at me, "You know they aren't here now, right? You can stop brown-nosing."

"Hey, I'm serious! Do you really think I was over the top with them or something?"

She sighs, "No, I guess not. You're just all…nice and stuff. To everyone. So I guess that's what it is. It's a good thing, I suppose. So, since we're talking about parents…what are yours like?"

I knew this topic was likely to come up, given that we just met hers.

"My parents…well, after spending time with your mom and Sho tonight, the first word that comes to mind is 'boring.'"

Emi lights up. "You mean…they are just…normal people? God, that must be nice."

I laugh, "I guess it is if that's what you're looking for. Truthfully, they are very normal. Typical Japanese career people. They both work a lot and they weren't always the most attentive parents, but they are nice, good people."

She reaches out for my hand and I give it to her. "That makes sense. Thanks for being so nice and good with my family tonight. I really appreciate it."

"Would you like to meet them?"

She squeezes my hand and gives me a really big smile.

"Yes please."

"How does visiting them in a couple months sound? During the winter holidays?

"Yes, that should work. I'm looking forward to meeting these 'normal' parents of yours. I'm sure I'll be a bit envious." She laughs.

...

When we get back to Emi's, she quickly tosses her stuff aside and turns around and pulls me into a passionate kiss.

She breaks the kiss and looks up at me.

"I've wanted you pretty badly pretty much all night. Especially after what you told me on the couch...and then you told them how much I helped you. I've exercised a lot of self-control. I'm glad we are finally alone. I…really need to take a shower. Do you want to join me?"

I hesitate for a moment, a little worried that she may want to do something I'm not ready for, but by now I should really trust her in these situations.

"Sure. I could use a shower too."

She smiles at me and takes me by the hand and leads me to the bathroom.

"You get started. I'll join you in a moment."

I undress and turn the water on. This is my first time in her shower. It is pretty large, with a high ceiling. There is a chair in the corner of the shower. I guess she needs it since if she doesn't have her legs on she isn't actually tall enough to use the shower very effectively. Sometimes it's easy to forget that she's physically limited since she almost always has her legs on, but the shower is one of the few places where she can't wear them.

Before long Emi returns to the bathroom, not wearing anything but her legs.

I gaze lovingly - and lustily - at her naked body. She has a petite and incredibly fit body, small but perfectly shaped breasts, and a surprisingly prominent – and firm, butt. Her legs are lean and muscular. I love everything about it. All that running really has given her an amazing body.

She notices me looking at her and gives a little twirl and a wink. She pulls the chair to the edge of the shower, sits down on it, and removes her legs.

By this point I am already partially erect, simply from looking at her. She notices this with a broad smile and beckons me to come closer.

"Can you move me and the chair more to the center where you are ? Normally I do this myself, but I thought I would take advantage of you." She giggles at her double entendre.

I do as she asks. Then the moment I get her in place, I feel her hand around the most honest part of my body. This causes me to gasp. It also reminds me of the first time I was with Saki, in that hotel by the beach. I'll never forget that night…I feel a twinge of guilt because I'm thinking about this when I'm with Emi, and because I'm with Emi while I'm thinking about this.

I must have looked lost in thought, because Emi reaches her hand up to my chest to get my attention and asks "Is this okay?"

I nod, and she starts stroking me. It feels amazing. Her hands always feel so good.

"Hisao, I want to do something we haven't done yet, and I just want to make sure you're okay with it."

I nod, urging her to ask her question.

"I want to do for you what you did for me last weekend. Is that okay?"

"Y-yeah, I would like that."

She smiles up at me with her seductive, half-closed eyes. How does she even do that with her eyes? She maintains complete eye contact with me while she starts kissing me down below, each kiss making me gasp softly. It is only now I realize that her shower chair is the perfect height for this. I guess she planned this out.

She continues to maintain eye contact as she pleasures me, her beautiful green eyes sparkling with glee when she goes to take me into her mouth. She only fits the tip in at first, and moves her tongue along the head. This sensation makes me shudder. She slowly fits more of me into her mouth, until I am halfway inside.

The warmth of her mouth and the flicks of her tongue feel amazing. I look down and notice she has started to use her hand to pleasure herself while she continues pleasuring me. I reach my hand down to offer some assistance, and begin rubbing her up and down. She exclaims softly, and I can feel the vibrations from it.

She starts to bob her head up and down and she begins really sucking on me. I respond by sliding a finger inside her, this causes her to gasp so hard that she can't help but open her mouth and give up on pleasuring me for the moment.

I crouch down and give her a passionate kiss as I move my finger in and out of her. After a few strokes like this, I add a second finger. It is a tight fit, but I can see she is in ecstacy. She grabs my hand and pushes my fingers in a little deeper, letting out a loud moan.

"H…Hisao right there…"

Understanding her instructions, I continue to move my fingers so they rub on the same spot, and before long she leans back in her chair, her legs vibrating in orgasm. She clinches around my fingers, and she tightly grips my wrist with her hands, digging her fingernails into me while she screams in ecstacy, her moans echoing throughout the bathroom.

I attempt to keep going like I did the other night, but she hasn't loosened her grip on my wrist, and is now holding my hand still. She has other plans.

Between deep breaths she says, "H…Hisaoooo…supposed…be…your turn."

She may be struggling to speak as her body still seems to be experiencing aftershocks, but her actions indicate she still has a lot of energy left. She reaches around me with one arm and pulls me closer to her with surprising force, and begins stroking me with her other hand .She smiles up at me and watches my face react to her ministrations, before she picks up where she left off.

The feeling of her warm mouth enveloping such a sensitive part of me is incredible, as is the way she's moving her tongue all around the head. I can't help but shudder with pleasure. She slowly moves down, putting more and more of me in her mouth, and all the while she keeps eye contact with me. There is a mixture of love, hunger, satisfaction, and desperation in her eyes. I've never known anyone who can express more emotions with their eyes alone.

She begins bobbing her head up and down, enveloping and releasing the entire top half repeatedly. I can already feel that I'm approaching my limit. My legs are shaking from the pleasure. It is becoming difficult to remain standing. I use my arms to steady myself on the back of the chair. She can tell I'm getting close, so she speeds up. Her eyes are now pleading with me. I can't help but start moving my hips with her motions, which she seems to enjoy.

"E…emi, you're going to make me…"

I try to warn her, because I'm not sure she wants me to finish in her mouth.

All I get in response is a soft, encouraging moan.

"I-I'm going to…."

I offer her another warning, just to be sure she heard me the first time. She tightens the grip of her arm around my lower back, pulling me closer, taking me as deep into her mouth as I will possibly go, making it very clear where she wants me to finish. This is more than I can take.

I moan loudly and I look down at her to get a look at her beautiful eyes as my orgasm begins. She still never breaks eye contact. She never lets me leave her mouth, she continues to stimulate me until the last drop has left me.

My legs are weak from the pleasure, and I can't help but allow myself to collapse on the floor of the shower in an attempt to recover and pull my senses back together. I hear Emi giggle and climb out of her chair, and before I know it she has her head on my chest and has draped her arm over me, and I put my arm around her, and we lie there awhile without saying anything as the warm shower cascades down on us. We probably would have stayed longer, but eventually we expended all the hot water, and that offered us our first true motivation to pull ourselves off the floor.

After getting dressed I sit down on the couch and before long she joins me, sitting in my lap and nuzzling into my chest.

"That was some shower, wasn't it?" she says with a giggle.

"Sure was. You were…that was…incredible."

She laughs, "You weren't so bad yourself, though I was a little mad at first when you hijacked what was supposed to be your turn. In the end, it all worked out though," she says with a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah I guess so far when we've done stuff it has all been about only one of us, huh? We don't have to only do that turn stuff, though. It was pretty nice for us both to be pampered, wasn't it?"

She nods.

I have a question I am dying to ask her.

"Emi do you…um, have a cum fetish? I was just thinking back to all the times we've done stuff, and realized that you have always made sure I finished on you, and then…in the shower, I couldn't believe you swallowed all of that and you were so into it. Don't get me wrong, it was incredibly hot! I loved it. But if you have certain stuff like that you like, I'd like to know so I can…you know, do that stuff for you."

She blushes a little bit and looks away while she thinks about it.

"Hmmm...I don't think it's a fetish, technically. I think that would mean that I am into it in general, but it isn't something I have ever been into before…you know, with other guys…" she trails off and turns even redder.

I am starting to get used to that blush. It usually precedes her saying something really sappy and sweet. I think it embarrasses her that she's so romantic now.

"...so, I think I only like it because it's yours. It makes me feel really close to you. It makes me feel…special. It is sort of like a physical sign of your love for me…I guess?"

This makes me blush too and then laugh, "Wow, that has to be the sweetest way anyone has ever said 'Yes I like it when you finish on me, and I like the way it tastes.'"

She elbows me softly in the ribs and then pinches my cheeks before giving me a soft kiss, "Shaddup you. You know you like it."

"Well…duh. But seriously, I agree with the sentiment. Doing those sorts of things with you is really nice, and not just because of how it feels physically. I feel closer to you too."

She wants me to talk about Saki more, so I guess this might be an opportunity to test those waters. It might be a little awkward, but it is what she wants.

"I don't think I've ever outright told you this, but you have probably guessed at it. Saki is the only one I've been with before you. She was my first…everything. And obviously we ended up getting married. So for me, I have never really known sex without that emotional component."

She smiles at me and brushes her hand against my cheek while looking deeply into my eyes with a smile on her face. I can tell she is really happy I felt like I could mention this to her. I'm a little taken aback, and more than a little moved by her reaction. I guess it wasn't just lip service when she said she wants me to talk about Saki.

"That makes sense. Meanwhile…this is the first time I'm experiencing it this way. For me, it has always been a physical act that feels really good, and not a whole lot more. I never really considered that love could make it feel even better. It is kind of crazy how different our sex lives were before we met each other. And yet…" she takes a break from speaking to plant a kiss on my lips, "...we're so damn compatible."

Chapter 16 and 17

Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2023 1:03 pm
by guthrum06
Chapter 16 (Hisao)

Emi has been my girlfriend for six weeks now. Things have been serious since the beginning for us, given the groundwork we laid during several months of friendship. So, we've been doing all the things a serious couple does. She's met my friends, and apparently has gotten really friendly with Chisato, who she talks with regularly now. I met her family recently, and we're going to visit mine at Christmas.

Today we're doing another one of these things, as I'll get reacquainted with Rin, who apart from me is the person Emi is the closest too.

We're driving to the city to go to a gallery that is hosting a special reception for her. We haven't actually talked about her a whole lot, so Emi is getting me up to speed during the drive.

"I'm pretty impressed that Rin ended up being such a big shot artist. I mean, I thought she had the talent, but I wasn't sure she would be the kind of person who could schmooze with people at an event like this."

Emi giggles, "Well, you'll see when we get there that she doesn't, really. She's still the same Rin. She doesn't understand people, they don't understand her."

"How does that work? Doesn't she need to be rubbing elbows with important people and stuff?"

"She probably would have been successful more quickly if she was good at that sort of thing. Near the end of her time at Yamaku, and for the first years after, she had a really hard time with all of it, and a couple of big events fell through because she couldn't handle that kind of pressure. She ran away on more than one occasion."

"Ran away? As in literally?"

"Yep. She ran away into the city to get away from all the people asking her questions she didn't understand or know how to answer. The art teacher had really gone out of his way to arrange it for her, but she couldn't handle it. He was a real jerk to her about it afterwards."

"Ah, Nomiya. Yeah, in my brief time around him he didn't seem like the nicest guy. Cared way more about art than his actual students."

Emi looks surprised that I knew who she was talking about for a moment, but then the light bulb goes off in her head.

"Oh yeah, Saki was in the art club for a while, right? I guess you have a pretty good idea of how he would respond to his star student disappointing him, then." I nod.

"Anyway, after that, she had a few more rough experiences and had a pretty hard first few years. I was checking up on her pretty often. She stayed at my mom's house every now and then because she didn't always have a place to stay. But, she kept at it, just making the art she wanted to make, and eventually it caught enough people's eyes that they were willing to look past her social shortcomings." Emi laughs, "Now, she's kind of legendary in the art world for her eccentricities."

"So…what does she do, at these receptions, exactly?"

"She mostly walks around the room silently watching people. If someone hasn't gotten the memo and tries to talk to her, she just ignores them. It works for her. Makes her mysterious, I guess. At this point, it seems to drive interest in her art. She has a mystique about her."

"So, she probably isn't going to talk to us at all?"

"Probably not during the event. We're going to get a late dinner with her afterwards, where we'll get to talk with her. Probably. As I'm sure you recall, talking to Rin isn't always easy. To be honest, that's one of the things that drew me to her back in school. I knew I could get fairly close with her, that we could care about each other and all that, but I'd never have to talk about all the stuff I didn't want to talk about. It was kind of perfect for both of us. She doesn't know how to have deep conversations, and I don't want to have them."

"That makes sense." I laugh, as I remember the very first time I hung out with Emi and Rin together. "I just remembered that you used to joke that the housing staff put you two together because combined you had a complete set of working limbs. It is kind of funny that you guys complemented each other in other ways too."

Emi laughs, "I hadn't thought of it like that, but I guess you're right."

...

We're at Rin's art show. The small gallery is filled with dozens of people all excitedly discussing different pieces of art. I would have known this was Rin's art without anyone telling me, as it features the same bright colors and strange subject matter of the mural she painted for the festival one year.

Sure enough, Rin is there, standing in the middle of the room silently watching people with a neutral look on her face. This is the first time I've seen her in something other than the Yamaku uniform. While she has aged, she doesn't appear to have changed a whole lot. Her hair is pretty much identical to the way it was when I first met her. She's wearing a white button up shirt, with a blue cardigan over it, with the sleeves tied into familiar knots. She's also wearing a blue fedora, and she is of course barefoot.

Emi and I wave at her to let her know we're there, and her neutral face perks up a tiny bit for a moment. Her eyes sparkle slightly and there's just a hint of a smile.

We go around the room, admiring her art. One thing I notice is that she doesn't actually name any of her pieces. That must be another one of her eccentricities. The paintings are all the exact same size, and they all have the exact same eye-popping price. I nudge Emi and whisper to her.

"People actually pay this much for her paintings, huh?"

She nods, "Yeah. She had her struggles at the beginning. But she's doing really well now. It's…really great. She found a way to do what she loves the way she wants to do it, without compromising or changing herself at all, and she's making bank. I'm really happy for her."

"That is pretty great." I shoot her a mischievous smile "Hey don't you have a small painting of hers in your apartment?" What do you think we could get for that?"

I get poked in the ribs for my comment, "Yes, but I would never sell it, Hisao. Don't you go stealing it either."

"Fine, fine. Probably better to hold on to it anyway. Seems like these are a pretty good investment." She rolls her eyes at me.

We arrived during the last hour of the reception, and just during that time two of her paintings were sold, leaving me quite impressed.

Once everything was dying down, Emi and I went to wait outside. Eventually, Rin emerges without saying a word. She looks around to make sure no one is looking, smiles at Emi and puts her body up against Emi's and puts her head on her shoulder. Emi hugs her back. It is a surprisingly touching moment.

"Hey, that was really great in there, Rin. By the way, this is Hisao. I've told you about him, that we're dating. Remember him?"

Rin looks at me with appraising eyes. "You're the one who likes watching girls sleep and has a problem in his pants, right?"

Emi looks confused. She looks at both of us searching for answers. I can't help but be impressed that Rin remembers our first meeting, given how scatter-brained she is. Of course, with most people this would be an inside joke, but I'm not sure she's kidding. She might really believe these things.

"Yep, that's me. That's the stuff you asked me about when we first met, anyway."

Emi still looks a little confused, but she's used to that feeling around Rin, so she pushes past it.

"So, should we go get some food and catch up?"

Rin shrugs, but follows me and Emi as we look for somewhere to eat.

...

While we were out walking, I recognized a noodle stall that I used to frequent with my old Yamaku friends, and that's where we decided to go. It is amazing how it is virtually unchanged from what it looked like more than 16 years ago.

We decided on this more casual meal partly because Rin's manner of eating isn't appreciated by restaurants. It has been awhile since I've seen it, so it is a bit of a shock to see Rin so deftly use her feet to eat.

Emi devours her food, and Rin eats about half of hers before losing interest. I'm still eating but the girls are done, so Emi tries to start a conversation.

"So, Rin, how are things?"

"Which things? There are some things that are good and some things that aren't. Really there are all kinds of things. Isn't everything a thing? Good things and bad things are everywhere aren't they?"

"I…should have been more specific. How are you?"

"I'm not sure.. Not too many bad things around me, though."

"Well, that sounds…good. Did you enjoy the art show tonight?"

Rin shrugs. I can see that Emi is getting frustrated, despite being so used to Rin's quirks.

Then to our surprise, Rin starts her own line of conversation.

"You seem more Emi. Is it because of this person?" She gestures towards me with her head.

"...more Emi, Rin?"

She nods. "More Emi. You're your Emiest when you run. Lots of times you're not as Emi, but you pretend to be Emi anyway. Right now you are at your Emiest, even though you aren't running."

She's using her name as an adjective? I strain my mind to try and figure out what she means, but apparently Emi has cracked the code first. I chalk it up to the fact she has significantly more experience with Rin than I do.

"So you mean…happy, Rin? How I am when I run?"

Rin thinks for a second and then nods. I feel slightly moved, at least as much as one can be by such a confusing conversation.

"Yes, I think I'm um…Emier…because of him. We've both helped each other be…Emier."

She looks at each of us. "That's good then, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's very good. We're both happy." Emi reaches out to grab my hand.

Rin looks at our hands and smiles at me, ever so slightly.

"I hope he's okay in the pants, then."

This makes me chuckle. "Oh, so that was a joke earlier, huh?"

Rin's smile gets slightly bigger.

Emi looks confused again but plays along, "Yep, things are good there. Trust me." She winks at Rin, making me blush a little.

"What about you Rin? Any men in your life these days?" As soon as the words leave her mouth she winces, realizing her mistake.

"Lots of men in my life. There were some there tonight, weren't there? Like this person." She gestures towards me with her head again.

"Yes but uhm…any romance, Rin?"

She shakes her head.

"What happened to that sculptor? What was his name again?"

Rin makes a pained face and looks down at the table in a way that absolutely breaks my heart.

"He...didn't understand me. He didn't want to try to either. I thought he did. I'm forgetting about him. I'm good at forgetting."

It suddenly dawns on me how hard being Rin must be. She thinks so differently than everyone else, finding someone who really gets you has to be next to impossible. I mean, even Emi doesn't really get her, and she might be the world's foremost expert. Finding someone who you think gets you and then doesn't has to be absolutely devastating. That's certainly the story her face is telling.

Emi moves next to her friend and hugs her. "That's tough. We can talk about it if you want, okay? Just you and me? I can send Hisao away."

"No talking. Can't forget if I keep talking."

Emi nods as if that somehow makes sense.

Rin clears her throat, "Thank you for coming. I'm going to go now."

She stands up and walks in the opposite direction of where we are parked before either of us has a chance to say anything.

Emi yells after her "Okay Rin, let me know next time you have an art thing!"

"She looks…really sad. Are you sure you don't want to go after her?

Emi sighs, "I would, but I know with her there's not anything I can actually do. She wants to be alone, she doesn't want to talk. Doesn't leave much room for me to help her. I think hanging out with us tonight probably helped her a tiny bit. She'll bounce back, but I get why she is so sad. She seemed happy with him. They were together for around a year."

Emi punches her own hand and makes an angry face. "I wish she would at least tell me his name so I could track him down."

I laugh, "And then what would you do?"

"Kick his ass, Hisao. I think it was pretty obvious from my gesture, wasn't it? He's an artist, I can take him."

She's trying to look scary, but all I see is cute.

I laugh, stand up, and offer her my arm. "He better hope you never find him, then. Shall we?"

She nods and loops her arm in mine and we head back to the car.

"Maybe I'll do a Google search, I mean how many Japanese sculptors can there be?"

Chapter 17 (Emi POV)

I'm laying in bed with Hisao snuggling me from behind and reveling in the newest thing we've done in the bedroom. But my happiness is pierced by a stray thought pops into my head. Something that really bothers me. Something that if I bring it up, could result in us having our first real fight. I really don't want to mess things up…but like Hisao has said, sometimes you have to talk about things and have fights. It doesn't mean we're going to break up or something. I have to talk to him about this or I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep.

I take special care to keep my town sweet and non-accusatory when I say, "Hey…why don't we ever spend time at your place? We're always here. I don't think I've even been to your apartment since we started dating have I? Not even for a second?"

The look on his face tells me this isn't something he wants to talk about, so my instincts about this were probably right.

"...well, you have a TV here, a bigger kitchen, and your bed is better."

I guess those things are true, but there's something more to it. And now I know there is because he's a terrible liar. He couldn't make eye contact when he said that, and it barely sounded like he believed his words himself. I think I know what the issue is, and if I'm right, it infuriates me that he won't just tell me.

Okay Ibarazaki, approach this calmly, you can get this out of him without making him mad or upsetting him. So just be level-headed. You can do that, right?

"Why won't you just SAY it's because of Saki?"

Those are…not the right words, or the tone of voice I should have gone with. Oh boy.

I look at his face, and I know I'm no longer the only angry one.

He raises his volume and changes his tone to match mine. "Do we REALLY have to talk about this right now? Because if you want to, fine. We can. But I don't think you're going to like it."

Did he really just he say he doesn't think I can handle this? Now THAT really pisses me off.

At a moment like this I'd like to get up off the bed and stand at the end of it for dramatic emphasis, but if I take the time to put my legs on that would defeat the purpose. The best I can do is dramatically throw the covers off of me and move down to the bottom of the bed and make myself as tall as I can.

"Yes, we need to talk about this now, because it's kind of starting to drive me crazy. What you just said is the fucking problem." I say as I clap my hands together for emphasis.

He seems to be stunned into silence. I guess he's never seen me this angry.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I know I'm not going to magically make you stop missing Saki? I know you still love her. I know you still miss her terribly. You should. That's not the problem. The problem is that you still walk on eggshells around me about it even though I have never done anything to indicate that I don't want you to talk about her. Do you really think so fucking little of me? Do you think I want you to hide it from me when you're sad about her? Do you think I want you to throw away all of her pictures and her music and her violin and pretend like she doesn't mean anything to you? Do you think I never want you to think of her again?! I get it Hisao, that's part of what makes us work." I sigh and quietly say. "...and I thought you understood that."

He's looking at me, and his anger has mostly turned to shame. I feel a little ashamed myself for how worked up I've gotten. I really didn't mean to yell at him like this. I could have handled this better.

I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and move close enough to put my hand on his leg. "I'm…sorry, I shouldn't have handled this this way. Just…know that I know you'll always love her. I know you'll always miss her. She'll always be part of who you are. I understand all of that. It doesn't hurt my feelings at all, okay? It never, ever will. I know you love me. I don't have any doubts about that. If you aren't ready for us to spend time in your apartment because Saki's things are there, just tell me. Don't lie to me, or assume I'll somehow have my feelings hurt by the truth. Just be honest and open, like we've always been, okay?"

He's looking at me like he's holding back tears. "I'm sorry for not being honest, Emi. And you're right about almost everything. But there's one thing you didn't mention that is part of the reason for all of this. Guilt."

"Guilt? About what?"

"I feel guilty that sometimes I'm with you and I still miss Saki, which you covered – and I guess I can do better about that, now that you've given me that tongue-lashing." He half-smiles at me. "But, sometimes, I also feel guilty for…being with you. Which in turn makes me feel more guilty because it isn't fair to you that I feel guilty. It is a whole messed up cycle."

My heart drops at these words, but I try not to show it.

"You feel…guilty for...being with me?"

"Well, it's like you said. I still love Saki, and I miss her. She's part of me."

"So you feel…you're cheating on her…with me?"

"I wouldn't say that. It doesn't quite feel like a full on betrayal or anything. I guess maybe it's a much smaller version of that feeling? If I'm in my living room, a place that has Saki's fingerprints all over it, I don't know if I could be truly intimate with you without feeling guilty. I know that's probably messed up, but it is part of the reason we don't spend much time there. I was serious that you just have better stuff too, I think we would probably mostly be here anyway. But…you're exactly right about why we haven't gone there at all. I'm sorry for not just...telling you."

"Oh. Well, I guess that all makes sense."

"I hurt your feelings, didn't I?"

Apparently my efforts to conceal my feelings didn't work.

"Not really. I mean, hearing you say you felt guilty about being with me was a little hard in the moment, but once you explained everything, I think we are both talking about the same thing. You aren't ready for me to go to your apartment as your girlfriend because of Saki. And that's fine."

I get back under the covers next to him and nuzzle into his chest.

"Just tell me these things from now on, okay? You thinking I can't handle hearing this stuff is what really hurts my feelings. I know we're together now, but please just talk about Saki how you used to when we were just friends."

He starts stroking my hair. "You're really amazing, you know that?"

"Yep, I do."

"I'm serious. I guess the reason I hide some of this stuff is because it's so hard for me to believe that you're this understanding about it. I don't think most people would be this good about it. But you're right, I should have known that you would be. I'm sorry. I'll do better from now on."

"Good. Now keep stroking my hair like that until I fall asleep on your chest. This is your punishment."

He laughs, "Okay. Goodnight, Emi."

Chapter 18 and 19

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2023 4:34 pm
by guthrum06
Chapter 18 (Emi POV)

We're on the train to Chiba to see Hisao's parents for Christmas.

Hisao is sitting next to me engrossed in a book, and I'm snuggled into his side and trying not to overthink things as I tend to do. I've been doing better with it since we had a talk about it, but I still have an irrational concern that I'm somehow going to mess things up between the two of us. I just have so little experience to draw on. I'm really worried about this meeting not going well, and what that might mean for us.

This has been in our plans for several weeks and until now I wasn't too nervous about it. I was mostly looking forward to it, and what it meant. But now that I'm on a train speeding towards Chiba, I can't stop ruminating about how I might mess this up. I'm not the first woman who has been on this trip, and if I knew more about how she fared, maybe I'd feel a little better.

"Did you parents get along with Saki?"

Hisao looks up from his book with raised eyebrows, a little surprised by my question. I guess I did kind of ask it out of nowhere. "Why are you asking that?"

I fidget in my seat, "I'm…getting really nervous the closer we get, and I'm just curious about how it went for her. I'm assuming it probably went well and if I could hear that, I think I would feel a little bit better."

"Actually, it did go quite well. Especially given the circumstances that led to them meeting her the first time."

I poke him in the chest. "Well, that sounds like a story. Care to distract your nervous girlfriend with it?"

I really like it when Hisao talks to me about Saki. I want him to tell me everything, just like he did when we were just friends. For a while he stopped talking about her with me. I think he thought I was going to be jealous or something, but that's not how I feel at all. She was and is a huge part of his life and who he is, and I don't want him to hide that. Ever since my outburst a couple weeks ago, he has been gradually doing it more and more, although I am usually the one to prompt it.

He smiles at me, "Sure. Well, I don't think I've gone deep on this before, but Saki's dad was pretty awful to her for awhile. He thought he knew the best way to handle her health, and he didn't understand her or listen to her about what she wanted or how she felt. He eventually came around, after a lot of effort from Saki, me, and her brother. But at the time, he was kind of an asshole."

Saki's dad once came to Yamaku and sat in with our class all day, and definitely came off as an asshole. Oh…I just remembered that I was the first one to tell Hisao about that. Funny how things come full circle.

"One of the things he did was reserve her a spot at a really expensive assisted living facility, and he took her to see it and bragged about how great it would be for her once she needed to go there. As you can imagine, this really hurt Saki."

Wow. Her dad was an even bigger asshole than I had imagined. Who does something like that to their daughter?

"She decided she had to get the hell away from him and came to Chiba. It wasn't planned in advance or anything. It was very spur of the moment. So my parents ended up meeting her out of nowhere, and in the midst of all that, which was a really hard time for her. It was a little surprising to me at the time, but they welcomed her with open arms. They supported her in a really hard time."

"Why was that surprising to you?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. My parents never seemed very nurturing with me when I was growing up. So I didn't expect a whole lot from them when Saki arrived in Chiba. But, they were really great with her. And not just at the time, they ended up being very supportive about everything related to her. They were okay with us getting married at 18 because of the circumstances and they were really supportive when it came to her health and her career."

"They sound like really great people. I guess it doesn't surprise me that much because they sound a lot like you."

He nods. "Seeing how they were about all of that definitely made me see them in a different light, and we did get closer. I think you're right, that they were always really great people, I just didn't really know that about them because we spent so little time together, even before I left for Yamaku. Then, when the heart stuff happened, I felt kind of abandoned by them, so I really resented them for a while."

"That's understandable. I'm glad you guys get along better now though."

He smiles at me. "Yeah, me too. Did any of that make you feel a little less nervous?"

"Yeah, it helped some. Hearing how nice they are is good. Makes me feel a little more sure that they're going to like me. I'm also glad your mom isn't one of those 'Don't take my baby boy away from me!' types."

He laughs. "Yeah, she definitely isn't one of those. Get ready to hear her call me 'Hichan" though. I don't think she's ever going to stop."

I giggle. It is going to be a little weird to hear her call him that.

He puts his arm around me and kisses me on the head, and I snuggle closer to him. "I get being nervous. Meeting family is a big deal. I was nervous about meeting your mom and Sho. But trust me, they're going to like you."

I look at up him with a smile, "Okay, but I think I would be a lot less nervous if you kissed me here instead." I say, pointing at my lips.

He laughs and accedes to my request. "Better?"

"Much better."

...

I am at Hisao's family home. It is the early evening. His parents aren't here yet as they had work today. His mother should be home around 7, and his father around 8. I am thankful that things are so spread out. First, I have time to be at the house and get used to it. Then I will meet his mother, and then his father. All at once might be a little overwhelming.

We are making dinner for his parents. Hisao convinced me to make the sesame soba noodles he loves so much. His parents picked up the ingredients yesterday. Hopefully his parents' tastes are similar to his and I can impress them.

We don't have to start cooking just yet, so Hisao is showing me around the house. I was a little surprised, and very happy, to find out that his parents are fine with us sharing the double bed in the guest room. But I guess we are in our 30s after all, and their son even used to be married. So we're probably at the point where it would be a little weird if they didn't let us sleep together. I know I'm going to be way too nervous to fool around here, but snuggling up at bed-time is amazing enough.

There are cute pictures of Hisao and Saki throughout the house, some of which I've seen before in Hisao's apartment. From what he told me on the train, his parents really loved Saki. I'm sure her passing was hard on them too. After everything I've learned about her, I really wish I had gotten to know her better. I mean, she was in my class. I saw her every day for three years and I didn't really know her. I mean, I thought she was funny and stylish, but that's pretty much the end of my impression of her. It's because I couldn't open up to people and didn't close to them. I didn't know what immense strength she held inside of her. I didn't know how wonderful and talented she was. Most important of all, she made Hisao happy, and anyone who can do that is someone I wish I had known better. I wish I could thank her.

Hisao's mom is going to be here soon. We made some gyoza as an appetizer, because we aren't going to eat the main course until after his father gets home. I'm starting to get nervous again, but every time I look over at Hisao he gives me an encouraging smile and I feel a little better.

Not long after 7, we hear the front door open, and before long Hisao's mother is in the kitchen and she has a big smile on her face.

"Hichan! I'm so happy you're home." I'm glad he warned me that she calls him that, otherwise I would have definitely giggled and that wouldn't have been the best first impression. She quickly approaches her son and gives him a quick hug.

She's a woman of average height and build, with dark shoulder-length hair that is more gray than black. She's wearing a black blazer and skirt over a white button up blouse. When Hisao described his parents as "normal" I thought he was being a little mean, but based on appearances, she does look like a stereotypical Japanese career woman in her 60s.

"And we're also very happy you've brought company," she says as she looks over to me.

"I'm happy to be here too, Mrs. Nakai. It is a pleasure to meet you. You have a wonderful home."

Who the hell just said THAT?

That's the most formal I've sounded in a long time. Maybe ever, actually. God, I really must be nervous. Hisao must be thinking the same thing because he's got an amused look on his face as he introduces me.

"Mom, this is Emi Ibarazaki, my girlfriend."

His mother smiles warmly at me. "We've heard a lot about you. My husband and I are looking forward to getting to know you a little over the next few days."

"I'm very much looking forward to that as well. Would you like something to drink Mrs. Nakai? Or a bite to eat? There are some gyoza that we can enjoy before dinner."

Well, apparently this is just…how I talk now. Great.

She waves her hand at me and smiles, "Don't be silly dear, you're our guest. I know you're preparing our dinner for the night, but you don't have to wait on me. I'm actually going to go take my bath now, so that we have more time to chat after dinner."

"Have a pleasant bath, Mrs. Nakai."

Wow, I just can't stop, can I?

"I'll be back soon, you two."

After she's upstairs and out of earshot, Hisao comes up to me and whispers, "It is nice you're being so polite, but you might be overdoing it. You sound like a waitress or a hotel concierge. Just be yourself and they'll like you. Promise."

I feel my face flush. "Sorry. I don't know what came over me. Just some nerves. I'll do better."

"Good. Besides, if they think this is who you are, you're going to have to be like this any time we visit." He laughs, "That should be some good motivation, right?"

I cringe at the thought. "It really is. Thank you. Should we get dinner started?"

"Yep, let's do it!"

Hisao has already gotten everything out that I will need to cook, which is nice because this kitchen is new to me. He is also going to take care of preparing the shrimp and chopping up the vegetables. Basically all I'll be doing is the actual cooking. This takes some pressure off of me.

I look over at him while he's hard at work. I guess this is the first time we've cooked together. This is pretty nice.

I put a pot of water on to boil and start heating up the wok.

Before long, everything is assembled and it looks pretty much the same way it does at home. The vegetables are a little less uniform than they would be if I had done them, but that should be fine. I feel a sense of relief, especially after Hisao tastes it and gives me a thumbs up just as his mother comes back downstairs.

She smiles at me and says "That smells lovely. My husband and I are both looking forward to having such a nice meal ready for us at home. I'm afraid we haven't been eating as well as we should be. We are often too tired to cook when we get home from work and just grab something from the convenience store."

Okay Ibarazaki, you can talk to her. Just be yourself.

"That's why we wanted to make this for you. It is Hisao's favorite thing I cook."

She smiles, "Do you often cook for my son?"

"Pretty often. He cooks a lot for me too, actually. Even before we were dating we sort of had a little lunch club, where we would alternate who made lunch for the other." I giggle "It sounds pretty dorky when I say it out loud, but it was nice. Kind of one of the ways we got to know each other."

She smiles warmly at me, "That sounds like a nice way to get to know one another." She pauses, "I have a million questions I want to ask you dear, but I will save it until my husband gets home so you don't have to repeat yourself." She laughs.

I laugh with her, "Thank you for thinking of me. I'll be happy to answer any questions you two have. I might have some questions of my own." I lean towards her and whisper, covering my mouth so Hisao can't read my lips,."I don't know nearly enough of Hisao's embarrassing childhood stories."

"Oh, there are plenty of those! You're in for a treat."

She pauses for a moment. "I think I hear my husband." She goes to greet him at the door.

I think I sounded much more like myself this time. Hisao looks over at me and gives me an approving smile, confirming my thoughts.

Hisao's mother now enters the room with his father. I would have guessed he was Hisao's father no matter where I saw him. He's about the same height, has messy hair, and he has the same kind eyes. He has a big smile on his face as he surveys the kitchen. I swear his smile gets even bigger when he looks at me and he starts walking towards me and takes my hand.

"Hi dad, welcome home. This is-"

"Well this must be Ms. Ibarazaki who I've heard so much about. We're very happy to have you here." He looks over at his son and waves a hand at him feigning disinterest, "Oh, hello son. We're very happy you're here too."

This must be where Hisao's sense of humor comes from. He does seem genuinely excited to have me here, which is nice.

I laugh at his joke, "It's nice to meet you too Mr. Ibarazaki. Are you hungry? Dinner is ready so we can sit down whenever you're ready."

Okay, I backslid into overly polite territory there. But I'll correct it.

"I'm looking forward to it. I need to go upstairs but I'll be back in a minute."

After he leaves, we go about setting the table, and by the time he comes back we sit down for dinner.

While Hisao may not want me to be too polite, I do think it's probably a good idea if I don't eat with my usual…gusto. I can at least let them think I'm a little ladylike.

Everyone seems to genuinely enjoy the food, with everyone getting seconds which makes me feel really good about things.

Once we are all finished, Mr. Nakai says "Thank you again for dinner, it was lovely. I know it's late and you guys had a long trip, but do you mind if we stay up and chat a bit? We'd like to take the time we have to get to know you a little."

He is right, I'm tired after everything, but I also want to get to know them. Besides, they're tired too, and I really want them to think I'm good for their son.

"Sure, I'd love to."

"We'll try not to interrogate you too much tonight, since we have a few days," Mr. Nakai says with a wink. "So, how did you two meet?"

I tell them about the first time we met, when I ran into Hisao in the hallway when we were at Yamaku as students. They look surprised when I tell them that. I choose to omit that I ran into him again sixteen years later and that's what led to us rekindling our friendship.

"We didn't know you two had known each other for so long." Hisao's mother is unsure of whether to say something. She opens her mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. "That…must mean you knew Saki too, right?"

I smile, "I did. We were classmates all three years at Yamaku. She was a great girl."

Mrs. Nakai has a bittersweet smile on her face. "Yes, she was."

Both of his parents smile at my answer, especially his mother. I don't know whether that was a test, or just something they wanted to know, but they seem to be happy either way.

His dad asks a question next, "So, you're a runner right? And you've turned our son into one too. Thanks for that by the way, he looks much more fit than he has in a while." Hisao scoffs and his father winks at him. "What got you so interested in that sport in particular?"

Hisao grabs my hand under the table and I welcome it. This isn't an easy topic for me and Hisao knows that, so he has a slightly concerned look on his face. I want to show him that I can talk about this. Especially to people who are this important. People who I'm starting to hope will become my family some day.

"My father really loved running. I used to do it with him, but I didn't really get passionate about it until he passed away. I'm sure you've noticed my leg situation," I say with a chuckle to add a little levity, and to try to keep myself from tearing up. "He..um, he passed away in the same accident that I lost my legs in. So the first thing I wanted to do when I got better was learn to run again. I have been running ever since."

I notice I have made the mood a little too somber. "Sometimes even running into people." I playfully punch Hisao in the arm and everyone laughs.

Damn, that joke would have played even better if I HAD told them I ran into Hisao again.

Hisao beams at me and squeezes my hand.

"Well, that's really wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. Will you two be getting up early and running while you're here?"

"Yep, I can't have your son slacking off too much on me, can I?"

His parents both chuckle and Hisao rolls his eyes at me.

"Well then, we better let you two get to bed so you can whip him into shape! Don't worry about the dishes, we'll clean them up."

"Are you sure?"

His mother smiles at me, more warmly than she did earlier in the evening, "Yes, dear. You're our guest remember? You've already made us this lovely dinner, that's more than enough. Go get some rest."

"Okay, well it was really nice talking with both of you. See you in the morning."

Hisao takes my hand and leads me up to the guest room.

I'm pretty exhausted once I get there so I crawl on top of the bed and spread out on my stomach. Doing the thing I was anxious about all day made me really tired.

Hisao lays down next to me and puts his hand on my back. "I think that all went really well. You did great. More than great, really."

I exhale. "Really? I thought so but wasn't too sure."

He smiles, "Yeah, I'm really impressed actually. You didn't have to talk about your dad, you know? You could have given a much more general answer. But you did and it made me really happy. It gives them a lot more insight into who you are too. And you're amazing, so that's a good thing."

I blush at him. "Yeah it was a little hard, but I wanted to do it." I smile and put a hand on his cheek, "Thanks for straightening me out when I was acting like a really polite robot."

He laughs, "No problem." He yawns. "Well, I think we should probably get ready for bed."

I roll on my side and squeeze him tight to keep him from getting up, and give him my best pout. "But that means we would have to moooove."

"I haven't done the math, but yes, I think that's how it works." He gets up and helps me up.

Once we're both standing I hug him and look up at him. "Okay nerd. The math better say there is time for some snuggles after we get ready for bed, though."

He smirks at me for playing along. "I'll have to double check, but I think that's right."

Once we're back in bed there is indeed some time for snuggles.

Chapter 19 (Emi)

It's Christmas Eve.

We went for our run this morning at the vacant track at Hisao's old high school, and we're headed back to his parents' now. They have the next two days off, so we will be spending lots of time with them.

Today is a busy one. We're going shopping at a Christmas market in the city.

Then, tonight we will be going out to dinner and see an illumination of one of the train stations.

Tomorrow will be a lazier day that we spend mostly at the house exchanging gifts and eating. I'm most looking forward to that.

I shower first when we get back to the house. Now I am alone downstairs with Hisao's parents while he showers. We eat breakfast and make pleasant small talk.

Eventually Mrs. Nakai looks at me with some concern and asks "There will be quite a lot of walking today, is that okay?"

I don't understand her question at first, but Mr. Nakai chimes in after popping the newspaper he's reading, "Dear, she just came back from a run, I don't think we need to worry about her walking."

Mrs. Nakai looks embarrassed that she asked and looks away from him.

I feel more than a little uncomfortable, but I think she wants to know more about me, and is trying to get there by understanding my disability. It isn't something I normally open up about, but these are important people, and I think she just wants to understand me better. It's nice that they want to know what it's like to be me, I guess. It also helps knowing that they had a daughter-in-law who had issues with mobility.

I smile at her and put my hand on hers, "Thanks for thinking of me, but with these on I have pretty much the same mobility as you. So you don't need to worry about that kind of thing."

She looks relieved, "That's good to know." She pauses for a moment, "Pretty amazing that that's the case. That's very impressive."

I smile "The prosthetics do most of the work, but I did have to learn how to use them."

"And with them you have no limitations?"

"Well, that's not quite true. Real legs are capable of broader tasks that mine. I have to switch them out to do different stuff. I can't really run or jump very well in this kind of prosthetic. I can only walk in them. I had on special running blades earlier. There are also a couple of nice places to go that are unfortunately really hard for me."

I notice Mr. Nakai is also listening closely now.

"I can't really get these wet, or get sand in them, so the beach isn't somewhere where I can walk, basically" I laugh softly, "Hisao and I went to the beach once, and I pretty much have to go legless there, which was a little frustrating. I also can't really do things like hike on tough terrain without a special prosthetic that is quite expensive."

I laugh, "There are also some fashion things that I can't do. High heels are kind of out of the question. I could learn to get used to them, but I'm not entirely sure I would be wearing them very often even if I could. So, I'm a little limited in some specific situations, but when it comes to everyday life, I don't really notice."

Mr. Nakai chimes in, "They don't hurt you at all?"

"Mostly, no, as long as I put them on correctly and don't overdo it. Just like your feet can get tired, sometimes that's how I feel, only further up on my leg. When I was younger I had some phantom limb pain that could really be awful, but luckily it doesn't happen any more."

I notice they both look a bit confused, "That's…um, when you can feel the limb that you used to have even though it isn't there. Sometimes I just felt some strange sensations. Other times it was quite painful."

They both nod, looking a little sad.

"If I really overdo it, especially on my running blades, I can have some problems. If I don't take really good care of the part of my legs that they are attached to, I can end up having to be in a wheelchair from time to time. But, I manage it pretty well these days and that doesn't usually happen."

Mr. Nakai smiles at me, "You can say that the prosthetics do most of the work, but it sounds to me like you've worked very hard and been through a lot to make yourself so mobile. So, please allow us to be impressed with you" he says with a wink. "Afterall, we still have the legs we were born with and we have never been as active as you are." All three of us laugh.

I smile at him. He really does have Hisao's sense of humor and many of his facial expressions. It makes him easy to talk to. "Okay, I guess I will allow it. But only because you asked so nicely."

Hisao comes down the staris just as the conversation is ending and looks curious. "What are you guys talking about? And why did you stop right when I came down here?"

His dad chortles, "We weren't talking about you son, we do talk about other things you know! We were just getting to know your lovely girlfriend a little better."

I blush a little. Hisao doesn't look like he believes his dad and looks to me for confirmation.

"We really weren't talking about you, honest. Do you think I would cover it up if I had just learned an embarrassing story about you? Do you think I'd be capable of not teasing you about it?"

"Hm…I guess not."

Mrs. Nakai jumps in, "We will be saving those for later Hichan, when you are in the room and we can watch you get embarrassed." The three of us laugh while Hisao rolls his eyes and then smiles at me.

"Well, I am glad to see you three getting along so well, even if it is at my expense."

...

We rode the train to the city center, and now we're at a sprawling holiday market. I was a little stressed about the crowds, but now that I'm here I can't help but be swept up in the festive atmosphere. There are decorated trees and lots of shops and food stalls.

We're here to shop for gifts for Hisao's parents. Apparently they are planning on giving a gift to each of us, so we are going to get a gift for each of them. Hisao and I also already got gifts for each other, but we're going to give them to each other when we get home.

Hisao and I split up from his parents so we can shop for them, and one of the first places we go is a jewelry store. Most of the jewelry is winter-themed. I'm trying to figure out what kind of jewelry Mrs. Nakai might like. I'm not that big into jewelry myself, but I noticed she wore earrings. Both pairs that I've seen have looked like sterling silver.

"Hisao, what kind of earrings do you think your mom would like?" He looks at me like I asked him in English. "Um…I don't really know."

I stick my tongue out at him, "Some help you are. You've been her son for more than a third of a century and you don't know what she likes?"

He looks a little embarrassed, "I'm just teasing you. I'm sure lots of guys don't pay attention to their mom's jewelry. Heck, I might not have paid attention if I wasn't trying to figure out what gifts to get her." I grab a pair of sterling silver snowflake earrings that I had been eying. They aren't too over-the-top. Certainly less over-the-top than the earrings shaped like Christmas trees or presents. They sparkle but aren't too eye-catching either. They are the kind of thing she can wear all winter, and not just for Christmas.

I hold them up to Hisao. "What do you think of these? Too festive? I noticed she wears silver earrings."

He thinks for a moment. "I think she'd like those. They're pretty."

I don't know why I thought I would get some more detailed analysis out of him, but I guess that's good enough for me. Maybe.

I look down at them again, nervous about this decision. What if she doesn't like them? I start feeling pressure similar to when I was cooking dinner last night.

Hisao notices my waffling, "Don't worry too much about it, okay? I think she'll like them, but guess what, even if she didn't, it isn't like she's going to throw you out of the house and tell you to stay away from me." He laughs. "She'll probably appreciate your effort, pretend she likes them, then never wear them. That's the absolute worst-case scenario."

He's right, I'm imagining small things having a big impact on our relationship again. I squeeze his hand and smile up at him, "You're right. Thanks. We'll get them. You might not be good at figuring out what your mom would be like, but you just did a very good job of comforting your nervous girlfriend, so I think it evens out."

As we leave the shop and start walking down the path, trying to decide where to go next, I see Hisao's father waving to us from about 50 meters away. I quickly throw the gift into my bag to conceal it and we head over to him.

"We were just about to take a break and have some hot cocoa from this food stand, would you two like to join us?"

"That sounds really good, to me. I love hot cocoa. Well, all sweets really." I say with a laugh.

Hisao nods in agreement, and we all sit down at a table together with our warm drinks.

"How are you liking the holiday market? Have you been to one like this before?," Mrs. Nakai asks.

"I haven't, actually. They don't do anything quite this massive in Sendai and that's where I've been for…pretty much every winter. So this is new, and it's really nice. It definitely makes me feel festive."

"I'm glad to hear that dear." She puts her hand on my shoulder, "There is an ice rink over there that looks like fun, you know if you two have the time you should consider going ice skat-..." She stops herself mid sentence, and her smile shifts to a horrified expression as she looks away from me. Her husband looks horrified too. Hisao has more of a bemused look on his face, because he knows this isn't some major affront to me, and he's probably just curious how I'm going to handle it.

I pat her on the shoulder and give her a warm smile, "Don't worry about it. You're not going to hurt my feelings at all saying things like that. You're still getting used to me after all."

Her face relaxes some. "Thank you dear, but I really shouldn't have said something like that, especially after everything you were nice enough to tell us about this morning."

I shrug, "I'm sure it's still kind of hard to keep in mind all the time, especially when you see me walking around and stuff, so please don't worry about it at all. You know, I think I actually read somewhere that because my prosthetics are below the knee, I could ice skate, I think it would just take me a lot longer than a regular person to learn to do it."

She's now back to a smile. "You really are quite understanding. Thank you."

Hisao chimes in, "That's what I keep telling her."

"I was just thinking she would have to be to put up with you, Hichan." This prompts a laugh from everyone but Hisao, who rolls his eyes.

Mr. Nakai stands up. "Well, I suppose it's time we all get back to business. Shall we meet up around 5 to go to our next destination?"

"That sounds good, dad. See you both then!"

As we walk down the path between stalls, Hisao stops, takes my hand and gives me a quick kiss and then smiles at me before we continue walking, holding each other's hand. "You're doing a really good job with all of this, are you sure this is the first time you've met a boyfriend's parents?"

I giggle, "Thanks. But I think if you hadn't stopped me from being overly polite yesterday I would be in pretty bad shape."

He laughs, "That's probably true. So, what should we get my dad? Do you think a tie is too much of a cliche?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You get him a tie every single year, don't you."

He smiles sheepishly. "Maybe."

I shrug, "Well, if you know he likes them and wears them, I don't see a reason to do something different. Unless you're wanting to change things up."

"Do you have an idea for how to change things up?"

"Well, I noticed he isn't wearing a warm hat right now. He could probably use one in the colder months ahead. Plus, I think that would be easier to find here than a tie. Unless you want to get him a tie with Christmas trees on it or something."

Hisao looks at me, "You're pretty good at getting gifts for people. I'm a little intimidated. I hope your gift for me isn't better than the one I got for you."

I laugh, "Well, don't worry about being intimidated until we see if your parents actually like the gifts we get them. Here, I think this store has some winter clothing."

We look for a little while, before I pick one out that looks like a good fit for him. I don't imagine he is a man who wants one that will really make him stick out. The one I choose is black, and it has ear pieces that can come down if he unbuttons them. It has a lining inside that should keep it nice and warm. Let's see if Hisao has any useful input this time.

"What do you think, Hisao?"

"That does look like something he'd wear."

I laugh. "Okay, at least you are more confident when it comes to your dad."

Once the present is wrapped we realize we will need to meet his parents soon and head for the train station.

...

I'm with Hisao and his parents at a sushi restaurant they apparently frequent. We're going to eat here, and then head back to the train station after it gets dark, at which point it will be brilliantly illuminated for the holidays. I'm starving, so I'm pretty excited to eat.

"What do you all like to get here?"

Mr. Nakai responds first, "We usually order a whole bunch of different things and then share it, if that's okay with you. Is there anything you don't like?"

Hisao laughs loudly, causing his parents to look at him in confusion.

"I think Hisao's laugh was his way of saying 'she'll eat anything, and a lot of it,' and he is pretty much right. I love food. I don't know if I would have fallen for Hisao if he couldn't cook. The way to my heart is definitely through my stomach." I playfully elbow him in the side and his parents laugh. "So yes, I will be happy with whatever you order."

"You certainly don't look like a woman who eats a lot. You're so tiny," Mrs. Nakai muses.

I laugh. "I get that a lot. All the running helps, and I do eat relatively healthy, but even with that I must also have a really good metabolism."

Mr. Nakai orders the food, and before long our bounty is spread out before us. There are several different kinds of nigiri, uramaki, sashimi, and temaki and they all look amazing.

We all start selecting the ones we want and putting them on our plates. I'm especially enjoying the tuna temaki, but everything tastes pretty incredible.

Before long, I notice that Hisao and his parents are all looking at me with an amused look on their faces.

Why are they looking at me?

Oh...no. I was too hungry to make myself eat differently than I usually do, like I have been so far on this trip. I've just been devouring everything in sight without considering what I look like. I swallow what's in my mouth and look away, ashamed.

I want to run away. Far far away. If I had my blades on I would probably already be gone.

"Uhm…I'm very very sorry. That was not a polite way to eat, especially at a restaurant. I was very hungry…"

Hisao squeezes my thigh under the table to get my attention and he gives me an encouraging smile.

Mr. Nakai laughs, "Don't worry, it wasn't that bad. A little surprising to see such a small person eat with so much…enthusiasm, but we aren't offended. We certainly believe you love to eat now."

Mrs. Nakai adds, "We are glad you are enjoying yourself so much. This does remind me of a rather embarrassing Hichan story, though, if you're interested."

They are so nice. Thank goodness they can look past this, and his mom even wants to change the subject to an embarrassing moment for Hisao. This makes me feel much better.

I smile, "Oh, I'm definitely interested."

"You know Emi, you're playing with fire here. I haven't heard too many embarrassing childhood stories from your mom, and I'm sure there are plenty of them she would tell me."

He's right, but I'll deal with that later.

I wave my hand dismissively at him and gesture for Mrs. Nakai to continue.

She smiles, "Well, when Hichan was about 7, he went to a friend's birthday party-"

"Really mom? That's the story you're going to tell?"

I laugh, "Well now I'm even more interested."

Mrs. Nakai looks at her son for a moment, and then continues, "Anyway, he was at a birthday party, and he just couldn't wait to eat the cake because he thought it looked really good. The next thing we know he has stuck his hand into the cake and is eating a handful of it right in front of everyone. This is within minutes of us arriving there, mind you. When we tried to tell him he shouldn't do that, he ran away and continued eating his cake in a closet."

Hisao looks mildly embarrassed but it really isn't that bad, I put my hand on his shoulder, "That is pretty funny. I bet little Hisao was cute with his cake. Don't be too embarrassed though, Hisao. I'm 35 and how I was eating just now is probably only a little better than what you did when you were 7. I was even thinking about running away with some of the sushi and hiding somewhere so I could eat it all alone."

Everyone laughs. I'm very relieved all this went as well as it did after I was so embarrassed.

Once we've finished eating, Mr. Nakai says "Well you two, your mother and I are quite tired from the busy day. I think we will head home." He pauses for a second to wink. "I think you two might enjoy the illumination a little better on your own anyway."

"Thank you for dinner Mr. and Mrs. Nakai. It was really great."

"No problem dear. We'll see you two later."

I've enjoyed spending time with them, but it will be nice to have Hisao to myself a bit. And this even sounds like it might be a little romantic.

They leave and Hisao and I head to the train station to see the illumination with our arms looped together. Once we get there, I'm pretty amazed by what I see. The station is completely surrounded by bright holiday lights, with each side of the train station featuring a different theme.

"Wow, this is really beautiful."

Hisao nods, "I've seen it before, but it looks like this year they really went all out. I don't remember there being this many lights. Which side should we look at first?"

I grab a flier from a nearby kiosk. "It says the south side is nature-themed, the north side is city-themed, and the west side is about both the city and nature. I think we should start in the nature-themed area."

"You're hoping there will be cute Christmas light animals aren't you."

I laugh, "Well, yeah! Come on."

I grab his hand and lead him where I want to go.

...

After we have seen all there is to see, we find a quiet corner away from the train station, where we can still see how beautiful it is, but with a little more privacy. He leans his back against a wall, and we put our arms around one another and I rest my head on his chest.

"This has been a really nice day, Hisao. Everything has been really amazing. I like your parents, and so far they seem to like me. I'm glad they weren't too appalled by my unlady-like way of eating." I giggle.

He looks down at me with a smile, "They like you too. I can tell."

I squeeze him tight. "I hope so. Thanks for bringing me. It really means a lot that you did."

For a while we just stand there holding each other while we look at the beautiful sights around us. Eventually I look up at Hisao expectantly and he gets the hint. We share a few long, tender kisses while we hold each other. Being here has been nice, but I do find myself already missing the ability to be more intimate with him, so this is really nice. Eventually he breaks the kiss, and I do my best to muffle a disappointed squeak.

"Unfortunately, it's getting late and we need to catch the train, so we probably need to get going."

I nod, and we head back to the Nakai household.

Chapter 20

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2023 10:29 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 20 (Emi)

It's Christmas Day. We're taking the day off of running for the holiday, so we actually slept in a little. When I wake up Hisao has his arms around me and it makes me want to go right back asleep. However, it turns out he's also awake.

"Hey there, I hope I didn't wake you up. I got up a little before you and couldn't help but snuggle you." He punctuates his sentence with a kiss on the back of my head.

I giggle and roll over to nuzzle into his chest, "I'm sad we have to get out of bed soon."

He laughs and squeezes me close with his arm. "Me too, but today will be fun."

I nod, and we drag ourselves out of bed and we get dressed and head downstairs. His parents like to exchange gifts in the morning, so I bring the two wrapped gifts downstairs with me.

When we get there, we see that his parents have prepared a nice western-style breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and French toast. It all looks really good.

Mr. Nakai greets us first, "Good morning you two. I hope you enjoyed sleeping in a bit. It is only 7:30, but I guess you two rarely sleep even that late very often."

I laugh, "Yep, that's true. We're usually up around 5:45 to get our run in, so this is quite late for us."

He smiles and gestures towards the chairs, "Well sit down, sit down. You had good timing, your mother has just finished making us this lovely breakfast."

I smile at her. "This looks really great Mrs. Nakai. I don't get to have western-style breakfast very often. Thank you."

"Yeah, thanks mom."

We enjoy our meal largely in silence. I do my best to eat in a more restrained manner than I did at the restaurant yesterday. The food is incredibly good and I was starving, so its hard. But I think I pulled it off. Or at least, no one stared at me this time.

After we've finished eating Mrs. Nakai leaves the dining area to get our gifts. I'm incredibly excited, but doing my best not to act too much like a child. I'm also nervous about whether they will like the gifts I picked out.

When she returns, she has two boxes wrapped in blue and white snowflake wrapping paper. One of them is fairly large, about the size of a pizza box. The other is quite small.

"Why don't you two open your gifts first?" I hand the gifts to each of them and they smile. This is the moment of truth. Although, like Hisao said, it isn't the end of the world if they don't like them. But it would still be better if they did like them, right?

Mrs. Nakai goes first, and I can already tell she is a bit surprised by how small her gift is. She opens it and sees that it's a box for jewelry. She looks over at me and smiles, "This must be your doing dear. These two never get me jewelry." We laugh together while the two men roll their eyes, but then I add, "Hisao did help me pick them out. I hope you like them."

She opens the box and sees the snowflake earrings, and her face immediately lights up and she starts putting them on. I don't think that's a fake reaction unless she's secretly an award-winning actress. I feel very relieved.

She smiles at me again while wearing her new earrings, "You even knew I liked sterling silver."

I nod. "I hoped so at least, based on the earrings I saw you wearing."

"Thank you very much Emi. They're lovely."

Hisao feels left out and in a surprisingly childish voice he says, "Hey, like she said I helped. Don't forget they are from me too."

His mother laughs, "Thank you too, Hichan."

Mr. Nakai admires the earrings on his wife, "Those do look good, dear. Now I suppose it's my turn?"

Hisao nods, and Mr. Nakai starts removing the wrapping paper from his present. When he sees it's in a box and roughly the weight of a tie, he looks at Hisao and says "Another tie I suppose?"

Hisao laughs, "You'll just have to see, dad."

He opens it, and while his reaction isn't quite as joyous as Mrs. Nakai's, I can see that he likes his gift.

"I was just thinking I'd need a new winter hat this year. This one looks quite warm." He puts it on. "Yes, this will be quite nice this year."

He smiles at me, "This was your doing too, wasn't it? You're the reason I haven't received a 7th tie in a row?"

Hisao scoffs, "I helped, dad. Like she said. But yes, maybe it was her idea to do something other than a tie."

"Well, thank you both. Now it's our turn to give you our gifts."

First, he hands the larger box to Hisao. It seems kind of heavy as it changes hands. Once Hisao opens it, I see it is a beautiful marble chessboard, probably an antique. It has silver and bronze colored pieces, and the squares are black and white.

Hisao smiles and runs his hands over the smooth surface of the board, "Wow, this is a great chessboard, and beautiful. Thank you."

Mr. Nakai responds, "Do you still play? I wasn't sure."

If he does, it's news to me. I haven't even heard him mention chess.

"I haven't in a really long time, actually. Probably not since college. But I have been thinking about picking it up again. And this will give me a good reason to." He turns to me with hopeful eyes. " Do you know how to play?"

"I don't. But why don't you two play later? I can learn it that way. And then before long I'll probably kick your butt at it like everything else," I say with a wink. This draws a laugh out of everyone, though I can see a little competitive fire in Hisao's eyes.

Now Mrs. Nakai hands me my present, which is in a small box. She must have gotten me jewelry too. I don't normally wear jewelry, but we'll see what's inside. Maybe I'll be the one to pretend like I like my gift instead of either of them. Wouldn't that be funny?

When I open it, I am stunned by what I find and all I can do is gasp, look up at the Nakais, and spit out a single word.

"H-how?"

Inside the box is a gold chain with a beautiful golden pendant. On it, the dates of my dad's birth and death are engraved, and it says "Father" above that.

Mrs. Nakai responds to my one word question, "When we left you two last night we didn't really head home right away. We went to a jeweler and got it engraved. Our son gave us the dates." Hisao reaches out and holds my hand.

"I hope it's okay dear, I have one for Saki and I really cherish it." She pulls it out from under clothing. "I thought you might want something like that for your father. I apologize if it is too personal, or you don't like it. We did keep the receipt and we could get you something else."

Not too long ago, this would definitely have been crossing the line for me. It would have been something I hated. I didn't want to be reminded more than I already had to be about the worst day of my life. But now, I think wearing something like this every day that honors my father sounds kind of fulfilling. I really have changed. And Hisao's parents clearly really care about me to give me a gift this personal. The combination of emotions is too much. I start to cry.

I do my best to wipe away my tears and speak clearly, but it doesn't go as well as I would have liked thanks to my trembling lip. "Th..thank you b-both. I l-love it…It m-means a lot to me."

I take it out of the box and Hisao helps me put it on before hugging me close.

Mrs. Nakai arrives and playfully pushes her son aside, "Let me have a turn, Hichan." She embraces me in a very comforting hug and says, "I'm glad you like it."

I pull away so I can nod to her while clutching my gift around my neck. "I'm going to w-wear it every day. Thank you." She pulls me back in for another warm hug, and I can feel a few of her own tears on my shoulder.

After that, we clean up from breakfast and have a nice lazy day.

Hisao and his dad spent much of the day playing chess. I watched for a while and they taught me how to play. Hisao won most of the games despite not playing in so long. Now that he has this chess board, I imagine we'll actually play sometimes. Seeing Hisao play with such confidence, I know this is something he would actually beat me at. But, I guess I can let him have something.

At the end of the day we have a nice meal together. Mrs. Nakai let me help her in the kitchen this time, which I really enjoyed.

We get into bed fairly early, as we are exhausted from our holiday activities and will be traveling tomorrow. As usual, Hisao is snuggling me from behind. His hand brushes across my new necklace. He takes it in his hand.

"I'm glad you liked this. When they told me they were going to do it I wasn't entirely sure it was a good idea. I have been very nervous about it since yesterday."

I reach back and put a hand on his cheek, "You know, if someone told me that this is what they wanted to get me, I think I would have said I didn't want it. But actually receiving it was different. I love it. It especially means a lot coming from your parents. Ever since the accident I have avoided having mementos for my father. As I'm sure you have noticed, I don't even have any pictures of him on display. I think…seeing how you and your parents remember Saki has helped me. I remember my dad of course, he's the whole reason I run after all, but you guys have objects that you cherish. That's not something I've ever done with my dad until now, and I think I want to change that."

He kisses me on the back of my head, "That's great. Everyone really liked their gifts today."

"Yep. It was a really great day."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is the day after Christmas, and we are about to head back home. Hisao is about to go take a shower, while I'm sitting at the dining table with his parents.

"Hichan, we will probably have to go before you get done with your shower, so give your mother a hug and say goodbye."

Hisao rolls his eyes, but then looks genuinely happy when his mom hugs him. Their relationship is pretty funny. He always seems annoyed at her, but he also tends to act like a little boy when she's around. It's pretty cute.

He then hugs his father, "Take care of yourself son. It seems like you're doing," he pauses as he gets a little choked up, "…really great."

"Thanks dad. Thank you very much for letting us stay here."

"Of course! Now go take your shower, don't keep Emi waiting."

I am now keenly aware I am alone with Hisao's parents, which makes me fidget a little, especially because they are both looking at me and whispering between themselves. I notice that Mrs. Nakai is wearing the earrings we got her, and that Mr. Nakai has his new hat in his hand, and this makes me feel a little bit better.

Eventually, Mr. Nakai approaches me and says, "Well my dear, it has really been lovely meeting you and getting to know you over the last few days. We are really happy you two found each other. You are great for him. Exactly what he needs," he says with a wink.

I'm a little overwhelmed by his kind words, and the best I can do is say "Th-thank you. I am happy to be with him."

He smiles at me, and takes my hand in his. "We are especially pleased with how happy you make him. He had a very hard time after he lost Saki, we all did." He pauses. "But it was very hard on him, as I am sure you know. He hasn't looked this healthy or happy in a very long time. Over the last seven years we have worried about him constantly and felt helpless that we couldn't do anything for him. It was breaking our hearts. Meeting you, seeing you two together…it makes us feel like we don't need to worry anymore."

I feel tears welling up and despite my best efforts, a few make their way down my cheeks. Mrs. Nakai smiles at me and hands me a handkerchief, which I accept, and she adds, "You're welcome in our home any time dear, and we hope you'll take us up on that invitation any time you can."

I wipe my tears and smile at them both, "Thank you for being so kind and welcoming, and for these very kind words. I-I'm glad I've helped him. I'm glad we have helped each other. I…really love him and I promise I will do my best to keep making him happy."

His mother embraces me in a tight hug, and I hug her back. Just like yesterday, when she pulls away I see that she has shed a tear or two as well.

"Unfortunately, we have to get going to make it to work on time. I am sure we will be seeing you again. Have a good trip home."

"Thank you. You two have a good day at work."

After they leave, I break down crying.

I can't believe this trip went so well. I can't believe they like me so much, or that they are so kind. I can't believe how nice their gift for me was. They think I'm right for him. I couldn't be happier.

When Hisao comes downstairs from the shower, he looks worried at first when hears me sniffling, but when he sees me smile he smiles back. I run up to him, throw my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss.

"You parents" *sniffle* "...really like me."

He smiles back knowingly, "Haven't I been telling you that they would all along?"

I stick my tongue out at him. "Well yes, but it is just a little more meaningful actually coming from them, Hisao."

He bends down and kisses me. "I'm glad they liked you. I'm pretty fond of you too." We look into each other's eyes for a few seconds, and then Hisao ruins the moment.

"But the real question is, did they like you as much as your mom likes me?"

I roll my eyes at him "If you're asking if your dad flirted with me, the answer is no. Because he isn't a creepy weirdo like my mom."

"Sounds like I win, then." He says with a wink and then heads upstairs.

As we gather up our things and head to the train station, we continue playfully bickering.

"You know, you're making it sound like you like when my mom flirts with you. Are you sure you're with the right Ibarazaki woman?"

He laughs "Well, your mom is married, so…" This earns him a punch in the arm.

"You know, we are going to be with them for New Year, if you'd rather kiss her at midnight, I am sure she'd welcome it."

We're on the train now. He puts his hand on the side of my face and gives me a very loving kiss., "No, no, no. I don't want to kiss anyone but you. I know we're joking around about it, but it is really nice that all of our family is so on board with our relationship. Friends too."

"It really is. I was so nervous on the way up here that I couldn't sit still. Now that everything went so well, the ride home is going to be so relaxing."

"That means you're going to fall asleep on me for the whole train ride, doesn't it?"

I kiss him on the cheek and snuggle into him.

"Yep! You're a lucky man, Nakai."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are back at my apartment for the evening after our trip. We are too exhausted to do much of anything. We have already gotten into our pajamas, but we are going to exchange our gifts before bed.

I sit down on the couch with his gift, which is contained within a small rectangular box. I'm waiting for him to emerge with whatever he got me. I'm pretty excited about this whole thing. We have never really exchanged gifts before. He's so thoughtful that I bet it will be good. Although, seeing how he was about getting gifts for his parents has caused me to temper my expectations some.

Eventually, Hisao joins me on the couch with a big smile on his face that I can't help but return. He has a gift bag and an envelope. I try to imagine what might be in them, and get very excited by all the possibilities.

"Who should open their gift first?!" I say with more excitement than I intended.

He laughs at me, "You are eying this very intently and sound like you can't contain yourself. So why don't you go first?" He extends the card to me.

I snatch it out of his hand with a massive smile on my face. As I get the card out of the paper, I can't help but giggle. It has three cartoon capybaras on it sitting in a hot tub and says "Warmest holiday wishes."

I smile at him. I can already see he put so much thought into this. Thank goodness he is better at this with me than he is with his parents. I open the card and a piece of paper falls out, I unfold it and I am delighted to see that it is a certificate that says:

"You, Emi Ibarazaki, have adopted Mochi the Capybara from the Sendai Zoo. For the next year, your donation will help pay for Mochi's food and medical care. Thank you for your donation."

I look up at Hisao, then back down at the certificate, then back up at Hisao and then yell, much louder than I meant to, "I ADOPTED A CAPYBARA?!", then I tackle hug him and give him a big kiss before I pull away and sit in his lap. "Thank you, Hisao. This was really sweet and thoughtful. We will have to go see Mochi in person some time."

He laughs at my enthusiasm, but is by no means surprised. "I'm glad you like it. You also have another little gift, but you're sitting on it now."

Oh yeah! He had that small bag. I completely forgot about that in all the capybara excitement.

I climb off of him and snatch up the bag before removing the tissue paper. When I do, I see a plush capybara identical to the one he got me the day at the zoo. I pull it out of the bag and hug it to my chest.

He laughs, "I thought you could use another one. They can be a couple."

"Thank you Hisao. I really love all my capybara stuff. Now you open your gift!"

I hand him the rectangular box while smiling ear to ear. He smiles at me before unwrapping it. He doesn't quite have my level of enthusiasm, but when he sees what it is his eyes do light up.

"It's a smart watch, right? I had been thinking of getting one. Thank you, Emi." He kisses me softly and then starts opening the box.

"It might not be the most fun gift ever, but I thought having something that tracks your heart rate and activity made a lot of sense for you. Plus you can set it up to connect to your phone and it does all kinds of other stuff too."

He laughs, "I think it's fun. It just also happens to be useful. Really useful in my case. We just need to get you one too so that we can see who was the most active every day."

I giggle and kiss him on the cheek, "I did actually get one for myself too for exactly that reason! But I don't think you're ever going to beat me unless I'm sick or something." I stick my tongue out at him.

He scoffs at me even though he knows I'm right. By now he has set it up and is wearing it on his right wrist. "Thank you Emi, this is a great gift. You're 3-for-3 on great gifts this Christmas."

I climb back in his lap and put my arms around his neck and kiss him. "I'm glad I did a good job. You did great too, you know." I barely turn my head in time to avoid yawning in his face.

He laughs, "We have had a busy Christmas. I don't think I am going to get very many steps on my first day with this new watch, because I think we need to go to bed."

I nod in agreement.

This has been a really great Christmas. Maybe the greatest. Meeting his parents for the first time went really well, he liked his gift, and he got me such nice gifts. I snuggle my two capybaras as he holds me from behind and I drift off to sleep a very happy Emi.

Chapter 21

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2023 11:09 am
by guthrum06
Chapter 21 (Hisao)

It's late, but I can't sleep. I'm lying wide awake and tossing and turning in my bed with only one thought in my mind: Saki's anniversary is next week. It will have been seven years.

As usual, getting close to it is making me miss her so much more than normal. I feel guilty about that even though Emi tells me not to. I've been able to feel less guilty for the most part, but with everything amplified right now, it's much harder. I wish Saki was right here in my bed with me right now. I wish I could kiss her again. Feel her body against mine again. Is it really okay if I feel this way? Is it fair to Emi?

While we've been together for awhile, there are still two normally essential relationship things that Emi and I haven't done because I haven't been ready. First, we haven't has sex. We've done pretty much everything else under the sun, but not that most intimate act. I wasn't really sure why I was still so hesitant about it, but now with the anniversary near, I know why. It's because I like that being something special I shared with Saki, and not anyone else. I'm…afraid to give that up. Like it will somehow make it less special if I do. Is that fair to Emi?

Second, and perhaps even more ridiculously, I haven't let her set foot in my apartment since we started dating. She came here a few times when we were friends, but since she became my girlfriend I just…haven't been able to do it. I feel Saki's presence here. Her things are here. I think my guilt would be even worse than it usually is if Emi and I spent our time here. Is that fair to Emi?

She is great, though. And understanding. She knows why we haven't spent time here, and she's okay with it. She has probably also figured out why we haven't had sex yet, and she seems okay with that too. She has been remarkably patient, and never seems disappointed with what we do do.

She has problems around the anniversary of her father's death. Way worse problems than I have. I should just talk to her about all this. Tell her how hard it is right now. She wants me to talk about this kind of thing.

I can't decide whether I want to invite her to come with me to Tokyo or tell her I need some space for a while. She's so great that she would probably happily do either if she thought it would help me. Do I deserve that?

I feel tears welling up in my eyes, "I just don't know what to do," I say to no one in particular as I start to sob.

Once I've cried myself out I can think with more clarity. Emi has a right to know I'm feeling all of this. That much is clear. We're supposed to be honest with each other and not hide things. I have to tell her tomorrow.

Now I just hope I can get some sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Saturday, so there is only a half-day of classes, and they just ended. I'm walking down the hill and heading to Emi's. The run with her this morning pretty much felt like it usually does. When I'm around her I do feel better about everything. Things make more sense.

But I still need to tell her what I've been feeling. She deserves to know.

I'm at her door now. I take a deep breath and go in.

She's on the couch and gives me a big smile when I come in, and beckons me to sit with her. I do as she asks.

"Hey Hisao, happy weekend!" She kisses me on the cheek. "Everything okay?"

She must be able to tell that there's something serious I want to talk about.

I sigh. "Not really. I'm...not doing well. The anniversary is next week."

"I know," she replies as she loops her arm through mine. "You've seemed a little off the last few days, but I didn't want to push you to tell me why because I know how hard anniversaries are." She looks up at me with her beautiful, determined eyes. Right now they are filled with her determination to help me. "Let me know if you want to talk about it, okay?"

How can I refuse her?

"I do want to talk about it. I need to talk about it, because you deserve to know how I feel right now. I just…I really miss her. I know you tell me not to feel bad for that, but right now it is so intense." I start tearing up. "I…want to be with her. Badly. Even right now. Even when I'm sitting here with you. I just…I don't think this is fair to you, Emi..." The tears are starting to really flow now, and she tightens her hold on my arm. "You're so amazing and understanding, and I love you. But do you really want to be with a man who misses another woman this much? Who would give anything just to kiss her again?"

She's tearing up a little now too. "Hisao, don't I get to decide what's fair to me?"

"I…guess so."

She climbs into my lap and takes my face in her hands and looks me directly in my eyes as a few tears run down her face. "I know things are hard for you right now, and I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something more to help. Anything."

She kisses me on my forehead.

"But I have no problem with you missing Saki, okay? You just said you love me and that's all that matters. I don't feel like you're betraying me because you miss her, or because you want to kiss her or whatever else you're feeling. You can love me and miss her terribly too, long for her even. You've been doing it all along, haven't you?"

I nod.

I really don't understand how she can feel this way, I'm not sure I'd be so understanding if the situation was reversed.

"You're hurting enough right now without also dealing with guilt. So please, please don't make yourself feel guilty over me when I'm not upset with what you're feeling."

She looks away from me for a moment and takes a deep breath before locking eyes with me again and continuing.

"A-and i-if…if you're also feeling guilty right now because…you're with me, just let me know, okay? I can give you all the time and space you need.. Would that help you at all?"

I stare at her determined eyes in silence, lost in thought.

Would it help?

How can she be this understanding and willing to sacrifice her own happiness for me? I guess that's kind of the definition of love, isn't it?

She loves me so much. I love her too. From the bottom of my heart. That's really all that matters, isn't it? Like she said?

Saki would be okay with things being this way. Emi is okay with things being this way.

Saki wanted me to find love again. She wanted there to be another woman someday who would love me and make me happy just like she did. Saki would even be happy that I found that. So, I don't need to feel guilty for loving Emi.

Emi understands everything about how I feel about Saki now and she still wants to be with me. And I want to be with her. She isn't hurt by how I feel. So, I don't need to feel guilty because I miss Saki.

It's okay that I miss Saki. It's okay that I long for her. And it's okay that I'm in love with Emi.

In this moment, staring into Emi's eyes, everything has finally become clear.

"Hisao? Are you okay?"

I'm not sure how long I was thinking, but it must have been awhile based on the concerned look on Emi's face.

I put my arms around her, hug her close to me, and give her a long, sweet kiss.

When we break the kiss Emi looks equal parts dumbfounded and happy.

I ask, "Will you come with me next weekend?"

"I…y-yes, I would be very happy to. But are you sure that's what you want? Is that what you need?"

I lock eyes with her.

"Yes." I take her hand. "Thank you for being so understanding all the time. I...think you're what Saki wanted me to find."

Emi can't do anything to hold back her tears now. She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me, "I hope so…I know I'm very happy that she had you for the time that she did. And happy you had her."

We both stay there for a while, crying softly and holding each other.

I think I may have finally figured this thing out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emi and I are at Chisato and Mitsuru's house, we're about to go visit Saki's grave on the anniversary of her death. We're waiting for Mitsuru to get home from work.

The atmosphere is a little somber, but that doesn't stop Chisato from gloating as she looks at me and Emi sitting together on the couch.

"I so knew you two were going to end up together. Damn, I'm good. I basically made it happen too. Who knows how long it would have taken you two to realize you loved each other without me? Five years? Ten? Fifteen? But have either of you ever thanked me? Nooooope." She crosses her arms and glares at us playfully.

Emi looks offended, "Hey, I thanked you for helping me talk through things."

"I did too. Definitely."

Chisato rolls her eyes, "Okay fine, I guess that sort of counts."

Emi gets up and hugs Chisato, who hugs her back. "Thank you, Chisato for helping us end up together. You were right. Good job." She says it half-jokingly, but with just enough real feeling that it satisfies Chisato somewhat. Emi lets go of her and sits back down and Chisato looks at me expectantly.

"Hey, we're a couple now! Doesn't a 'thank you' from one of us count for both of us?"

Emi looks at me and gestures towards Chisato with her head. I get the hint and get up and give Chisato a hug of my own, which she welcomes.

"Thank you so much, Chisato. Emi's great, and you helped me figure that out."

"Damn right I did."

Just as we are breaking our hug, Mitsuru comes in through the front door.

"Hey everyone."

He gives Chisato a quick kiss and then hugs both me and Emi. He looks at Chisato.

"Have they thanked you yet?" We all laugh.

"Yes, she just guilt-tripped us into it just a moment ago."

He smiles knowingly. "Sounds about right. Hey, I'm going to change and then we can get going."

...

We're in the car. We just parked at the cemetery and Chisato and Mitsuru just got out, leaving us alone in the back seat. Emi is fidgeting a little bit next to me and she grabs my hand.

"Let me know what you want me to do, okay? I'm here to support you any way you want me to. If you want me to stay here in the car I can. If you want me to come with you to the grave, I can. Whatever you want."

As usual, she doesn't want to pressure me into anything.

I smile at her, "Well, what do you want to do?"

"If it were entirely up to me?"

I nod.

"I'd go with you all to the grave, if you're okay with that."

I smile at her. "Well, let's do that, then."

We get out of the car together, I reach out for her hand and she gives it to me, and we walk to Saki's grave with Chisato and Mitsuru.

When we get to the grave, I let go of her hand and give her a hug, while the rest of us approach her grave and kneel in front of it.

I feel sad and I miss Saki terribly. I wish she was still here with me. But I think she would say 7 years is more than enough of 'an appropriate mourning period.'

She knew Emi, but I still wish there was some way where the two of them could meet today. I have been loved by two incredible women, and I think just like Emi is happy that I had Saki when I did, Saki would be pleased that I have Emi now.

As usual, Chisato and Mitsuru return to the car before I do. Emi stays behind with me, still standing behind me away from the grave as I continue to weep. I can hear her sniffling behind me.

I turn to her, "Would you like to come up to the grave?"

"I-if that's okay with you."

I smile. "I just invited you, silly. Come here." I pat the ground next to me.

She smiles back and comes and sits next to me, with her head bowed, a few tears falling down her cheeks. This reminds me of when I visited her father's grave with her. It was sort of nice to think of that as a way for the two of us to meet. It's nice to think of this that way too.

Eventually I stand up and offer her my hand, which she takes, and we start the walk back to the car.

"Thanks for bringing me, Hisao. It means a lot to me that you wanted this."

I squeeze her hand, "You don't have to thank me for that. Thank you for coming and supporting me."

...

As is tradition, we picked up some take out from Saki's favorite restaurant and now we're back at Chisato and Mitsuru's telling stories about her. Emi can't contribute much of course, but she listens intently and laughs and cries at the same times as the rest of us. She has probably heard enough about her at this point that it almost is like she knew her as more than a casual friend in high school.

As things are starting to slow down, she speaks up.

"Um…w-would it be okay if I said something?" She says somewhat uncomfortably.

"Of course," the three of us say in perfect unison. We look at one another, realizing how creepy that was and Emi laughs.

"Thanks, you guys."

She stands up and looks at all of us, and her lip is trembling as she tries to get the words out, "I…I know I didn't r-really know Saki that well, even though I saw her a lot in school. I..didn't really know anyone well back then, and I m-missed out b-because of i-it. B-but everything I've learned about her both t-tonight and before…she r-really w-was an a-a-mazing, b-beautiful person. And S-so s-s-trong. I'm gl-glad a-all of y-you h-have s-such a-amazing m-memories of h-her. I'm s-so h-happy y-you a-all knew her. I just…I w-wish I had known her b-better."

Once she gets the words out, she sits down and cries quietly. I'm tearing up too, and I look at Mitsuru and Chisato, who don't have dry eyes either. I go over to Emi and take her in my arms, "I wish you'd really known her too. But you kind of do, through us, you know? Just like I feel like I kind of know your dad." Emi nods and hugs me tightly.

Once we've all calmed down a bit Chisato speaks up, "She would've liked you, you know. I mean, she did like you back in the day. But if you had gotten to know her, I think you would have been good friends. To be honest, the two of you have some similarities, other than your taste in men," we all laugh as she gestures towards me.

"Really?" Emi says with a surprised look on her face.

I'm a little surprised too.

"Yeah, your sense of humor reminds me a bit of her, but it's how determined both of you are that is your biggest similarity."

I hadn't really thought about their determination as a shared trait, but she's right. I guess it makes sense that I would love two people who have so much of it. Chisato really has become wise, hasn't she?

I can't ever tell her I thought that.


I listen intently to what she has to say next.

"You both looked at your disability and how it was going to affect you and sort of said 'to hell with it.' Hers was going to shorten her life, so what did she do? She became an award winning composer with the time she had. She was determined not to let ataxia keep her from doing great things, and it didn't. She did more in her 28 years than most people do in their lifetime. And you, well you lost your legs, and what did you do? You became the Fastest Thing on No Legs. And hell, you were faster than everyone at Yamaku with legs too. You were determined not to let it keep you from being great, from doing what you wanted to do and excelling at it, even if the odds were against you. And I think that's part of what makes you both wonderful people."

Emi smiles, "Thank you for saying that." Probably trying to prevent herself from tearing up for the hundredth time tonight she decides to crack a joke, "I guess Hisao is really into funny, determined women, huh?"

This gets a laugh from everyone at the table.

I smile at her and hold her hand, "I was just thinking the same thing."

Chapter 22

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2023 1:29 pm
by guthrum06
Author's Note: Sexual Content

Chapter 22 (Emi)

We're on the train heading back home after spending yesterday in Tokyo for Saki's anniversary. While it was obviously a somber affair, I am really happy that Hisao wanted me to come. I think it represents a really big step for us. I think he finally figured out that there's space in his heart for both me and Saki and he isn't betraying either of us.

As is usually the case when we're on a train, he's engrossed in a book and I'm snuggling up to him and starting to doze off.

Just as I'm about to fall asleep, I hear him say something.

"...t-ni-ht?"

"Mmn. Did you ask me something? I was dozing."

He laughs and pats my head, "Of course you were. I just asked if you'd like to stay at my apartment tonight. I can make you dinner for once."

I suddenly feel very awake as I sit up and turn to look at him.

"I must really be half asleep, because I thought you said we'd stay at your apartment. You said mine, right?"

He smiles at me. "Nope! I said mine."

I do my best to suppress a smile. I don't want him to do this just because it is something I really want. "You're serious? Are you sure?"

"Yes Emi, don't worry. I'm very sure. It's what I want. I mean, I know it's Sunday and we might be a little tired tomorrow, but-". I kiss him mid-sentence.

"Eh, who needs to be well-rested on a Monday anyway, right? I'd love to stay at your place tonight."

...

We're at the door to Hisao's apartment. We stopped at the supermarket to pick up the things he needed to make me the pasta dish I love so much but can't pronounce. Carbo…something.

He's fiddling with his keys, trying to get the door to open. This is a big moment, and I'm a little nervous. I haven't been here a single time since we started dating.

Eventually he gets the door open, and we put the bags down in the kitchen. I excuse myself to use the restroom, but the first thing I do is make sure his bookshelf of Saki's things is still there. If it isn't, it would really bother me. It would mean that he still doesn't understand.

Luckily I locate it and breathe a sigh of relief. Everything is still there. After this weekend, I should have known he finally understands. I smile at the pictures of them together before continuing to the bathroom.

...

"I love this pasta so much. Thank you for making it for me, Hisao. I guess I am going to have to actually learn how to say it since you keep making it. Carbonada?"

He laughs at me, "Carbonara."

"Carbonana?"

"No, Carbonara."

"Carbonata?"

"No, Carbonara!"

"Carbonara?"

"No, Car-, oh wait, you got it that time!"

I smile proudly, like I just won a race. "It only took me like a year and a million attempts, but I did it! Now the question is whether or not I will actually remember."

He laughs, "Yeah well, it isn't that important. I know what you mean however you say it."

I wink at him, "Good."

We clean up afterwards, and it has gotten pretty late. We get ready for bed. He gets to the bed first, but I am very happy to join him. He snuggles me from behind how I like.

"Thanks for inviting me here today, Hisao. I know it isn't a small thing, and it means a lot. Everything this weekend has meant a lot. I feel…more part of your life, I guess. So thank you."

He kisses my neck, a little more sensually than I was expecting, causing me to shiver a bit.

"It all just felt right to me. It was nice having you there in Tokyo. It's nice having you here. I'm glad you feel the same."

He goes back to kissing my neck with his arms around me, causing me to sigh contentedly.

"Hisao, if you keep doing that you're gonna make me wanna do…other stuff."

He kisses me several more times before saying , "That's okay, isn't it?"

I turn myself around, put my arms around him and plant a kiss on his lips.

"Well yeah, if you want to."

Instead of responding with words, he makes me gasp by reaching both of his arms around me, grabbing my butt, and pulling me towards him until we are pressed firmly against each other and kissing passionately.

Well, this is nice. I had kind of assumed we wouldn't be doing anything more than kissing and snuggling tonight to give him some time to adjust to the new experience of me being here, but I guess I was wrong. He really wants me right now. And I want him too.

We continue kissing and gradually removing one another's clothing, and before long we aren't wearing anything. We are kissing and caressing one another's most intimate body parts.

We both bask in the good feelings of kissing and pleasuring one another at the same time for quite awhile. Eventually, Hisao pulls away from our long kiss.

"Emi…I'm ready. I…I want to make love to you tonight."

I am a little taken aback by this. Not long ago I thought this night was going to be very PG, so hearing him say these words to me leaves me surprised, but also incredibly happy. But I need to make sure he isn't forcing things.

I put my hand on his cheek. "Are you sure? Really sure?"

"Yes, I mean…as long as you want to…" I pull him into a long kiss that starts out as a loving, romantic kiss, but becomes increasingly carnal for both of us the longer it goes on. Eventually I break from the kiss.

"Yes, I want to make love to you too."

He smiles at me. "Good."

I decided a long time ago that I would let Hisao take full control for our first time. Given his trepidation about this, I thought that made the most sense. So, I lie on my back and let him do the rest. He positions himself over me, and I look up at him, excited for what we're about to experience together for the first time.

This is it. Hisao is on top of me. We're going to become one. I used to hate that people said that, it seemed overly romantic for what I thought sex was. I thought people were really putting it on a pedestal. But…I get it now. I want him inside of me not only because it will feel incredible. It's also the optimal way for our bodies to become physically the closest, something I desperately want to experience. I think it also symbolizes how emotionally close we've become, especially lately.

Just as I am thinking all of this and enjoying the anticipation, I notice Hisao is trembling and his face looks conflicted. It reminds me a little of the face he made the day I confessed to him. There's definitely still happiness and excitement there, but there are some other things too. Sadness? Anxiety? I can't tell, but it isn't all positive. Just like then, I imagine it has something to do with Saki. Maybe he still isn't quite ready.

I put my hand on his cheek. "Hisao? Please don't make yourself do this if you're not ready, okay? I don't want you to do this unless you're sure you're ready. It is your body. This is all up to you. I'm not going to be mad or disappointed if we don't do this. We could stop right now and that's fine, okay?"

This prompts a big smile out of him, and the negative emotions largely vanish from his face. I'm a little surprised that my words had such a big effect, if I'm being honest, but I'll take it.

"No…I'm ready. I want to do this with you."

I feel Hisao at my opening, and then he slowly starts to enter me, causing me to gasp. I wrap my arms around him and plant a long kiss on his lips, cherishing the moment.

He's big and I'm quite small, so he has to go very slowly at first or he'll hurt me. He seems to sense this, not needing me to tell him to be gentle. I suppose I should have expected that from him. I feel him very gradually push himself deeper and deeper inside of me, every second resulting in more pleasure.

I hold his face with my hands and kiss him. "Hisao, I'm so…happy..." I feel myself getting really emotional, but I push it down. If I tear up right now he is definitely going to think he is hurting me.

He smiles down at me, looking very happy himself as he inches closer and closer to my deepest place.

Eventually, he is all the way in, and we both let out a pleasured and relieved moan at the sensation and the end of our anticipation. Now he can really start to move, and he does, just as I pull him in for a deep kiss. He starts moving his hips and rubbing himself against my insides. The pleasure is incredible. We both moan together, enjoying how close we are now to one another. My hips start moving on their own to match his rhythm.

I'm so happy we're doing this. I feel so close to him. He's finally shared this most intimate act with me and it was worth the wait. It means so much to me that he is ready.

He continues to thrust inside me with our mouths never leaving one another.

As I can feel both of us getting closer and closer I use my arms to hold him as tightly to me as I can and our kiss becomes even more passionate. We're going to finish together, and he's going to finish inside of me. I've…never wanted anything more. This is so beautiful. And so wonderful. I am embarrassed to feel tears welling up in my eyes. I want to be with this wonderful man for the rest of my life. I've never been more sure of anything.

Eventually, I break the kiss and look up at him and do my best to speak despite my now involuntary muscle contractions and pleasured moans, "H-hisao…I…love…you…so…much. "

His face is contorted with pleasure and he is breathing pretty hard, but he manages to say, "I…love…you…Emi…"

His tempo increases even more, and so does the pleasure for both of us.

Speech is going to be impossible soon, so the most I can do is breathlessly whisper a single word into his ear: "I-inside." This spurs him on even more, as he begins to move even faster. He gets a little closer to his limit with every thrust, and so do I.

His orgasm starts before mine does, and begins with an animalistic grunt that sounds vaguely like my name, and his legs and back shuddering with pleasure. I use my arms to pull him in and urge him to finish as deep inside of me as he can. Then I feel him pulsating inside of me for several seconds, and everything becomes very warm. He keeps his hips moving during the entire process as he moans and empties himself inside of me. He's breathing heavily, almost panting from the pleasure. This is enough to push me over the edge too. I dig my fingernails into his back as I lose all control of myself. When it is all over, both of our bodies have lost all of their energy and we both go limp. By this point, happy tears are silently streaming down my face.

Eventually he rolls off of me, exhausted and breathing hard, and the feeling of him leaving makes me sad, but he immediately pulls me close to him. I turn around and give him a kiss, at which point he realizes there is moisture on my face. This is enough to pull him out of his stupor.

"Are you...did I…hurt you?"

I blush at him. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. It's the opposite. That was…amazing. And really really special to me. They're happy tears, Hisao." He looks relieved, and I kiss him again. "I'm glad we waited for this, because I love you so much more now than I did when we started dating, and I think it made it even better. I love you, Hisao. M-more than I ever thought possible." I blush and look away, realizing how sappy I sound.

He puts his hand on my chin and turns my head to make me look at him, and now it's his turn to kiss me. "It was really special for me too. I'm glad I did this with you, I love you from the bottom of my heart, Emi. I'm so glad I found you."

He then smirks mischievously and lies back with his arms under his head.

"Also you basically just said I was so good in bed that it moved you to tears. Not gonna lie, that feels pretty good."

I laugh and playfully elbow him in his side, and then we just lay there awhile, holding each other and silently looking into each other's eyes. Until I realize I need to ask him something. In the moment I didn't notice, but now that I'm thinking back on what we just did…

"Hisao, um…how were you doing at the end there? This was definitely the most uhm..work you've had to do. You were breathing pretty heavily."

He sighs at me. I think he was hoping I wasn't going to ask this, but he answers honestly. "My heart rate definitely got elevated. And I…might have kept pushing for a minute or two even after I could tell it wasn't doing great. It didn't quite turn into a flutter, but it could have. It was not my best idea, but my brain had pretty much shut off at that point. My heart is fine now, if you want to listen. You can also check my watch if you want to review the data." He says the last part with a laugh.

I give him a concerned look and put my head on his chest and listen, and it does sound how it should.

He quickly adds, before I can scold him, "I won't do it again. It might have just been that I was nervous on top of everything, like that one time, but either way, if that happens in the future I'll let you know and we can slow down or change positions or something. I will talk to my doctor too."

"Okay, you better tell me if that ever happens again. If you mess up again I'm going to get the stethoscope out any time we're doing it. Is that what you want?"

He laughs and pokes me playfully, "What if I told you I was kind of into that?"

I lightly slap him on his cheek and leave my hand there, "Seriously. I know we're basking in happiness and being silly right now, but you need to be more careful. I need you to be more careful. Promise me, okay?"

He gets a more serious look on his face and nods, "Yes. I'll do better from now on."

...

My alarm goes off. Time to meet Hisao for our morning run.

I wake up in a room that I don't recognize at first, but then I look to my right and see a very naked Hisao sleeping next to me. I smile ear to ear.

Last night was really big for us. He has now fully let me into his life. He has realized that he can love both me and Saki. He doesn't need to feel bad for anything. He was okay with us spending time together in his apartment. We also made love for the first time. I sigh happily, recalling everything.

His alarm goes off now and he starts to stir next to me and opens his eyes, his eyes linger on my naked body a moment, and then he says "Hey there."

I laugh. "Hey yourself. How did you sleep?"

"Really good." Then he grabs me and pulls me close to him.

"Thanks for sticking around, Emi."

"What? Did you think I was going to go back to my place in the middle of the night?"

He laughs. "No, I mean…you stuck with me, you were patient, even as I was really struggling to figure stuff out. You were and are just…unbelievably understanding. We have been dating for more than a half a year now, and we hadn't made love. I didn't even let you come here until last night. Now that I really think about those things and say them out loud, it sounds kind of silly. So, thanks for sticking around through all that. It took me a while, but I got there, like I promised."

I smile at him and give him a kiss, "It was easy to stick around for you, Hisao."

As his alarm continues to go off I say, "I hate to ruin this moment, but it is Monday. We have to get up and go for our run and then help kids all day."

He laughs at me, "Well then, let's get started with our day."