Two Body Problem (Complete)

[Asoko_Desu]

No Time Like The Presents
December 24 — Christmas Eve

[Asoko_Desu]

December 25 — Christmas Day
Morning

Early risers waited for the sleepers-in to wake before opening presents. While they waited there was tea, sugar cookies, oranges, and all manner of treats for a Christmas morning, and while they were waiting Lilly and Tetsu fell to talking.


“Tetsu, how did you arrange all this?”

“I had help from Rin - she did the invitations.”

“I mean, if I may be so bold, how did you pay for it?”

“It’s .. a gift from my mother.”

“I thought .. I’m sorry .. I thought you said your mother wasn’t a very nice person,” said Lilly.

“I did - and she wasn’t.” At this point Shizune walked into the room with Shiina interpreting for her.


[ Wasn’t? ]

“Wasn’t. I don’t want to bring everyone down, but yes - I received notice of her passing about a month after I arrived at Yamaku.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” said Lilly - her sentiment was echoed by everyone there; Rin and Miki, who had entered the room, remained politely silent.

Rin pressed up against Tetsu and threaded one of her arms under his and held him.

“Please don’t be - she’s — happier now. She wasn’t a happy person in life. Other than Rin and Miki - and now yourselves - I haven’t told anyone.” Tetsu was quiet for a bit, and no one saw fit to break the silence.

“Anyhow, with her passing I was well and truly on my own - but not entirely without means.”

[ Silver linings? ] - Shiina interpreted for Shizune.

“Very much so. It was a low time though — I was very much alone in the world with no home to return to. This was before I met Rin - now my home is wherever she is.”

Rin hugged Tetsu even harder - “Don’t make me cry,” she said, and Tetsu hugged her back.

“Let’s change topics, shall we? Who wants to be first to open their present?” Tetsu was thankful for Lilly’s well-developed sense of tact.


Afternoon

The ryokan’s brochures touted a hot spring, and Christmas Day was the perfect day to scope it out — not that there was any doubt of its location. The ryokan was laid out in a square surrounding a courtyard. In the summer it must have been an idyllic spot - quiet and secluded; a wonderful escape from the outside world.

Steam rose into the air in the far corner of the courtyard — a low stone wall had been built up around a hot spring, adding to the natural rock which sheltered it. A narrow cedar boardwalk led to the hot spring pool; the building of the ryokan had been extended to provide half of the pool with cover, and to provide shelving for towels and bathrobes along with changing rooms and showers. Conveniently, the changing space and showers were warmed from the ground by the hot spring — indeed, the half of the ryokan nearest the hot spring, being the older half of the facility, seemed to be kept comfortable by its generous warmth.

Once the path to the hot spring had been cleared of snow, there was no keeping people from the pool. Being a short run from the side of the building farthest from the pool and the temperature being only just below freezing, a chorus of shrieks and squeals echoed across the courtyard as a line of nominally clothed women darted over, landing in the uncovered cool end of the pool with series of splashes and clouds of steam from the disturbed water.

“Ahhh!” exclaimed Emi, sinking down up to her chin in the water, her walking legs and socks propped against the side of the pool.

The contentedness that is the nature of primates in warm water settled over the spring and soon the small pool resembled a square barrel with so many pink-faced apples bobbing in it.

“I can see why the snow monkeys love this,” sighed Emi. Everyone was too busy enjoying the effervescent mineral waters to be poorly behaved — with some notable exceptions.


“Come on Tetsu - you too Hisao - we’re nekkid so you have to be too; it’s tradition.” Maybe it was, but Miki seemed a little too invested in Tetsu and Hisao entering the water au naturel for it to be purely a matter of respect for age-old practices.

Tetsu and Hisao approached the pool, their modesty fully protected by thick towels wrapped about them.

“Hardly our fault you forgot to bring bathing suits,” grumbled Hisao.

“Prudes!” Yelled someone - probably Emi.

“You’re g-going to h-have to t-t-take those off t-to get into th-the water, g-gentlemen ..” Hanako was obviously enjoying their discomfort.

Hisao and Tetsu nervously looked at each other, shrugged, and dropped their towels to the ground.

“That’s more like it!” Miki called out her approval. “Oh Rin - you’re one lucky girl!”

“I know,” Rin agreed.

“Miki? Could you not?”

—

The women made room for them as Tetsu and Hisao lowered themselves into to the hot water - Hisao finding Emi’s side, and Tetsu Rin’s.


“Rin - stop that; I’m going to have to get out of the water at some point.”

“And?”

“And .. I’d like to preserve some of my modesty - this early in the week at least.”

“Party-pooper” chided Miki and stuck her tongue out - then put her arms over her head and stretched back into the hot end of the pool, giving Tetsu a view mostly impeded by clouds of steam, but not entirely so.

“Oh Miki - never change. And Rin - you’re being a tease and you know what teases get ..”

“Spankings?” Asked Rin, hopefully.

—

“I’m going back in - too much heat probably isn’t great for my heart.”

“I’ll join you,” said Emi. Hisao helped her out of the water; she sat on the side of the pool while Hisao dried her off and retrieved her walking prostheses. Tetsu tried not to size her up — “Just making sure I’m not in the way is all,” he told himself, but Emi, knowing boys and their ways, caught him sneaking a peek and stuck her tongue out at him.

Under the water Rin drew her big toe along Tetsu’s thigh.


Evening

“I’m nineteen now,” Tetsu announced once everyone was back inside, dried, and making preparations for dinner. You may not know this, but my birthday was a couple of weeks ago - not like the local Aura Mart clerk cared to check my ID - and I’d like to celebrate. You’ll find a couple of cases of beer the courtyard where it’s cold next to the door if you’re feeling thirsty. There’s also some white wine inside cooling off by the door - and red in the cupboard if that’s more your to your taste.” At the mention of wine, Lilly and Hanako both perked up.


“Lilly, Hanako - could I open something for you?”

“I-I’ll take care of it,” said Hanako brightly. She almost skipped to the back door and found a case of white wine chilling in the draft.

“T-tetsu - are you planning on getting us all d-drunk? There’s a whole c-case here!”

“Pace yourselves ladies - and Hisao; that’s got to last us all week - and we don’t need to finish it all if we don’t want to. Also - remember to alternate drink and water if you want to avoid a hangover the day after.”



“Oh! What a good idea!” Exclaimed Lilly.

“Wisdom of my people - heavy drinkers for thousands of years.” And with that, Tetsu popped a can of beer and offered a draught to Rin before taking a swig of it himself.

“I’d put a straw in a can for you, cuteness, but drinking beer through a straw is a fast ticket to getting sick.”

“Why is that?” Asked Rin.

“Not entirely sure - probably because it’s easy to drink too much, too quickly.” Rin nodded - made sense.

“OK, we’re all here - Emi, Hisao, Miki, Shizune, Shiina, Lilly, Hanako, and, of course, Rin. It’s getting chilly - anyone object if I start a fire in the stove?”

Assent was given and drinks were handed around. Emi took over beer duty for Rin, but got distracted getting snacks ready and ended up just sticking a straw in Rin’s beer like it was a soda.

“Hm. This could be dangerous. Fun, but also dangerous.” Mused Rin. “Emi - this one’s empty ..” Emi queued up a fresh can before getting back to grilling gyoza on an electric hibachi. Rin took a long, thoughtful pull on the straw and looked .. pleasantly thoughtful. She flopped back into the futon and slid down into into it.

“Emi? This one’s empty too!”


Night

“Tetsu! Help! I have to pee!”

Tetsu, somewhat groggy from dinner and beer, picked up an apparently boneless Rin and carried her to the washroom. Navigating her buttons with one hand while holding her up with the other, he mostly got her where she needed to be before she needed to be there.

“I’m glad this place has a clothes washer and dryer ..”


Her business done, and changed into a clean set of clothes, Tetsu bundled Rin off to bed. From their room, Rin could be clearly heard bawling — “I looove yooooo”, and dissolving into floods of tears.

Shiina poked her head in their bedroom door — “Ah, guys - is everything ok?”

“I looooove him!” Rin responded

“I see. Had a bit much to drink has she?”

“More or less - Emi left her with a drink or three and a straw. Still, if getting weepy and lovey-dovey when lit is her legacy .. I could have done worse. Lord is she drunk.”

“Leave her to it then; she’ll fall asleep soon. Get you a drink?”

“I could use one - going to stay with Rin so she doesn’t miss the bucket if she has to throw up, so thanks for the offer!”

--

[Asoko_Desu]

December 26 — Boxing Day
Morning


Outside the ryokan, the sun rose bright and clear, hovering low on the horizon. It must have turned cold over night as the steam from the hot spring sent up clouds which obscured the sun and filled the courtyard with a dense mist.

Rin had finally fallen asleep after a troubled rest that had her tossing and turning - she’d thrashed about so vigorously Tetsu had retreated to the living room and slept on the futon.

“Can’t see the sun, but it’s still too bright to go back to sleep - may as well make coffee.” Tetsu ignored the red LED clock on the coffee maker, preferring to believe it had been mis-set than accept he was actually up this early.

A groggy Rin shuffled out of the bedroom. Returning from the bathroom she spoke to Tetsu flatly —

“You didn’t come back to bed.”

“No. You were thrashing around - I couldn’t sleep.”

“I was having a nightmare - you could have held me.” With that she went back in the bedroom.

Tetsu looked out the window at the courtyard filled with ice fog. “I’ll know for next time,” he told the empty room. Truth be told, he was still only half awake himself and not at his empathetic best. “I’ll apologize after coffee.”

The coffee maker beeped and as cake draws ants, the smell of fresh coffee attracted half-awake humans. Shizune manifested wearing an outfit fancier than a week away at a rustic inn called for; still, it suited her.

[ Morning Shizune ]

[ Morning Tetsu ]

[ How do you two take your coffee? ]

[ Black please ]

[ Tetsu ] asked Shizune, after coffee was provided — [ how did you know my father was holding his katana upside down? ]

[ Truly? You can’t watch as many martial arts movies as I have and not know how to draw a blade ]

[ I understand - his hand is mostly healed by the way - after what you said he just had to try it - he’s even got most of the feeling back in his fingers ]

[ I’m .. happy he’s recovering ]

[ As am I - I can’t bear the thought losing my hands - I would be unable to communicate ] Shizune shuddered at the thought.

[ Speaking of communication - I saw you and Lilly chatting earlier - is she having fun? ]

[ You could always ask her yourself - you really want to know if we’re getting along but are too polite to ask directly ]

[ That is so ] Not for the first time Tetsu realized Shizune was many things, but a dummy wasn’t one of them.

[ Your passive strategy isn’t required - we’re having a good time catching up - school matters are for school - here we’re cousins first and we were great friends as children - that affection hasn’t gone away - I’m as interested in her life as she is in mine ]

[ As a strategy, I prefer to think of it as `indirect` and not `passive`— if you’d been sensitive to the topic it would have left a bad taste - as it is you could have answered the question I asked - not the one I was really asking - and we both could have saved face and avoided an awkward situation ]

[ Sometimes I think you’re conservative in your feints but you’re not - you’re just bold like a ninja - not like a samurai - you’re a formidable and subtle opponent ] she signed with emphasis.

[ I’d prefer not to be your opponent ]

[ There you go - trying to disarm me before battle’s even begun ] a competitive glint shone in her eyes [ I cannot disagree with success - and here’s Shiina - shhh - let’s not give our secrets away ] Shizune smiled a conspiratorial smile, shielding her hands with her body.

Tetsu raised his finger to his lips as Shiina entered the room and was about to greet him - doubtless at klaxon-volume.

[ Can we keep this in sign until the rest wake? ]

Looking chagrined, Shiina nodded and signed — [ OK ]

[ Sleep well? ]

[ Yes - you? ]

[ OK - Rin was tossing and turning and I ended up sleeping out here - now she’s upset I didn’t stay with her ]

[ Considering Shicchan’s snoring kept me up, you’re not getting any sympathy from me ]

“Good morning Lilly,” said Tetsu, signing — “Saved by the belle ..” he thought as Lilly entered the room.

“Good morning Tetsu, Shiina.” Shizune snapped her fingers lightly and Lilly waved towards the sound; Lilly paused as she passed where Shizune was seated; she held her hand out towards the sound of Shizune breathing and Shizune gestured lightly on Lilly’s palm - the hand-spelling Tetsu had used to communicate with Lilly when he’d had tea that first time with she and Hanako.

[ Yes I slept well thanks ] signed Lilly.

Sensing confusion, Lilly explained “Although Shizune says I sign like a deaf person talks, I can sign - I just don’t do it much at school because there’s, well, not many deaf people who I’d be likely to get into a conversation with I guess.”

And of course, Tetsu realized, she hadn’t needed to with him since he could hear.

[ Shizune, would you be kind as to get me a coffee please? You know how I like it ] Shizune patted Lilly’s hand, and led Lilly to a chair that she could sit in.

“There’s a coffee table in front of your chair - be careful when you stand up,” advised Tetsu.

“Thank you Tetsu - I scouted the room out with my cane when we got here; I didn’t think the furniture would move too much - it’s good to know it hasn’t.”

Perhaps because of all the commotion, Rin shuffled, semi-awake, out of her bedroom and into the washroom.

“Need help?” Tetsu called out.

“No — I’m good.” Rin said somewhat distantly. Rin was barefoot and wearing a waffle-knit long-sleeve undershirt, with jogging pants tied at the waist - easy enough for her to get into and out of on her own.

Her business taken care of, she came and sat down in a chair, her knees drawn up to her chest and her hair down over her eyes.

“Coffee?”

As Shizune was up getting Lilly’s coffee, she made and educated guess and signed [ How does Rin take her coffee? ]

[ Cream and sugar ] Tetsu signed.

“No thanks - just cream,” Rin corrected him.

[ Sorry - just cream, no sugar ]

Shizune nodded quickly and poured a coffee for Rin with only the slightest of raised eyebrows. Sticking a straw in Rin’s coffee, Shizune brought both Lilly and Rin’s mugs over to the coffee table, tapping the table with her nails next to Lilly’s. Lilly and Rin nodded their thanks.

“Plans for today?” Asked Lilly, signing.

“I didn’t sleep well last night - I think I’m going back to our room and nap for a few hours,” Tetsu offered.

“I’m going to stay right here and draw,” said Rin with an air of finality.

Shortly Emi, Hisao, Miki, and Hanako - perhaps drawn by the smell of coffee - drifted in, in various degrees of awakeness. Hanako had toyed with the idea of just staying in her and Lilly’s room all week - it would have been easier - but she had discussed the trip with her therapist and her therapist had encouraged Hanako to consider the entirety of the ryokan a `safe space`; no one but the invited would be there, and no one invited would judge her or criticize her - she had every bit as much right as any of them to be there. Besides, Lilly was there for her if she needed someone to turn to. Hanako had decided it was a reasonable argument and was willing to make the effort to step out of her comfort zone - or at least try to.

In the light of day everyone looked a little bit worse for wear. Shiina had thrown up at some point in the night. Lilly and Hanako’s eyes had bags under them, and Emi had obviously fallen asleep face-down on the floor in her room - her face marked with the pattern of the tatami. Hisao, presumably, had put a blanket over her.

Tetsu played nurse —

“Here’s some water and some pain killers — I recommend everyone have one or two,” he said, walking about the room with glasses of water and a bottle of pills. He put one in his hand for Rin - she looked up at him enigmatically and picked the pill up by touching it with her tongue, without touching his hand.

Hanako served up big bowls of miso soup to rehydrate and settle everyone’s stomach. “I p-put some shaved g-ginger in - I hear th-that’s s-supposed to be good for upset s-stomachs.”

“I think today would be a lovely day to do nothing at all, but stay inside, read in front of a fire, and rehydrate.” Lilly said - a series of groans agreed with her. Setting an example, she pulled a braille-printed book out of a book bag she’d set by a reclining chair and started to read, promptly falling asleep with it open on her lap.


Afternoon

“Who’s on lunch duty?” Asked Emi

“O-oh, I c-can do that!” Hanako loved cooking and loved cooking for others even more. It wasn’t something she got much opportunity to do something back at school, but here there was a population of willing victims for her culinary experiments.

After a sunny morning, the day turned overcast — after lunch people generally lounged about reading in front of the fire. Someone had opened the futon and Rin, Hanako, and Miki had thoroughly taken it over, buried in pale blankets like a trio of snoring snowdrifts.

Snow fell gently through the afternoon. Those who didn’t succumb to the catlike embrace of protracted afternoon naps took to writing and reading poetry in turns.

“I-I think I’m going to t-take a walk; I’m s-starting to develop cabin f-fever,” decided Hanako.

“That’s what I’m feeling - thanks for putting words to it.” Miki yawned, stretching like a cat and extracting herself from the futon. “Think I’ll go for a run.”

—

Tetsu, having slept through lunch, emerged from his bedroom to find an de-populated main room.

[ Hi Shiina - where did everyone get to? ] he asked.

[ Miki and Hanako went out for a run and walk along the road and Lilly - you can see Lilly over there ] Shiina nodded towards a thatch of bond hair sticking out of a comforter, bundled up on a futon.

[ I can hear Lilly - she’s snoring ] signed Shiina. Shizune walked over and gently put her hand on Lilly’s head — [ Yes - snoring ]

Rin, who hadn’t really eaten any lunch, was sitting on the futon with her legs up and was looking a bit green.

Rin got up with a start — “Gotta - urp - throw up!”

Emi hurriedly got out of Rin’s way as Rin dashed to the bathroom and immediately started purging the remains of breakfast, such as it was, into the toilet bowl. Emi held Rin’s hair back, as a BFF should.

Tetsu took a look and decided Emi had things under control - there wasn’t any room for a third wheel in the bathroom anyhow. At a loss for anything else to do, he put a jacket and boots on, and went out to sweep snow off the path to the hot spring.

After a bit, Hanako brought him a steaming mug of hot chocolate - looking after her vacation-mates was bringing her more satisfaction than she’d thought possible.

“You have no idea how this is making me feel,” Tetsu exclaimed, his breath a billowing fog in the air.

“C-c-cold?” stammered Hanako, standing there in big fluffy slippers, an over-sized heavy wool sweater .. and nylons.

“Nostalgic. Thank you so much for the hot chocolate! Now go back inside - what you’re wearing really isn’t suited for this weather.”

“O-Okay. Snacks are almost r-ready; come in soon.”

“How’s Rin doing?”

“I-I think she-she’s almost d-done throwing up.”

Tetsu sighed. “OK - Go back in; I’ll be right behind you.”

Finishing sweeping the last of the snow off the boardwalk, Tetsu came back in and closed the door behind him, running into Emi and Rin getting out of the western-style shower; Emi drying Rin’s hair.

“How are two of my favourite girls?”

“She threw up in the shower too - I’ll clean it up; I was the one to give her beer with a straw in it after all. Tetsu - you have no right to be so chipper after last night,” grumbled Emi.

As Emi finished drying Rin’s hair with a towel, Tetsu came back with a glass of water and two aspirin.

“Think you can keep this down?”

“Hn,” replied Rin, but took the aspirin out of his hand with her tongue and sipped some water to get them down before heading to their bedroom to lie down.

—

“Hey” Miki huffed - slightly out of breath, steam rising from her jogging outfit.

“H-hey yours-self” Hanako had just finished taking a picture of a red bird on the branch of pine tree. “Have a look b-before h-he flies away,” and Hanako handed the camera to Miki.

“Beautiful - but how do you know it’s a he?”

“B-Brightly coloured b-birds always are - the men get the plumage and the women g-guard the nest.”

“Speaking of - you’ve been doing more than your share of the cooking; I’m not much of a cook, but can I help with anything?"

“No it-it’s .. w-well .. h-how would you f-feel about c-cleaning up a-after meals?”

“Dirty messy stinky chores? I grew up on a farm - count me in.” Miki said with a smile.

“Th-thank you! Wow - I-I’m d-disappointed at how easily I-I g-got winded on my walk - I g-guess sitting in the l-library and having tea in the t-t-tea room isn’t much exercise.”

“Maybe we should get you some proper exercise gear when we get back? If you ran, walking wouldn’t be difficult at all — or would any other athletic activity.”

Hanako coloured at this, but also giggled behind her hand.

“I’d also like to talk to some of my friends who teach physio to work up a pre-exercise stretching routine to get some flexibility for your scar tissue - I don’t want that to hold you back, if you don’t mind.”

Hanako was surprised at the offer - but pleasantly so, she found. Hanako assumed that everyone’s first instinct was to pity her, but there’d been no pity this weekend. In fact, Hanako had taken a fair amount of initiative and found people followed her orders when making meals — “Is this what Lilly enjoys with her cloud of kohai students fluttering around her?” she wondered to herself, thinking of the junior classmates in Lilly’s home room who flocked to her for guidance.

“S-sure, I-I’d like that.”


Evening

“Who’s up for some party games?” Exclaimed Emi, after dinner was done and the dishes cleared away. Hanako had been impressed with what Miki was able to get done with just one hand, seemingly without having to think twice about it.

A few beers were fished out of the cold for those who could stomach them after last night, and an empty wine bottle rinsed and dried..


“OK Hanako - your turn!”

“O-OK ..” Hanako giggled - her cheeks were flushed pink with excitement and she gave the empty wine bottle a good twirl on the uncovered tatami mat.

“Ok - that’s a pretty unambiguous result — tag, Miki - you’re it!”

Miki looked hard at Hanako - “OK - Truth or Dare”

“D-d-dare!” Hanako stuttered, but her tone was aggressive - defiant even.

“OK then - you asked for it - I dare you to kiss me.”

Someone gasped, it was hard to tell whom, but, after a heartbeat’s pause, Hanako crawled over to Miki with determination.

Placing one hand on Miki’s shoulder to steady herself, and the other on the floor next to Miki’s thigh, Hanako looked into Miki’s eyes and gave her a surprisingly passionate kiss that went on considerably longer than the 1 second minimum the game demanded.

“Wow - I’ve kissed some people and that was up there with the best,” Miki whispered in Hanako’s ear.

“Th-hank you,” Hanako smiled from under her hair.


Night

“M-Miki?”

“Mm-hm?”

“It’s g-getting late - could y-you walk me b-back to my r-room? Lilly’s a-asleep in the recliner; sh-she’ll probably b-be there all n-night.”

Miki didn’t see why Hanako especially needed an escort back to her her room, but why not — maybe she didn’t want to trip in the dark.


“W-would you like to come in for a bit?” Hanako’s voice was remarkably - albeit not completely - free of her usual stutter.

Miki knew exactly where that sort of request typically led, and swallowed before replying —

“Sure ..”


Hanako’s hand gently brushed Miki’s arm.

“Hey, I’m flattered and all, but I don’t want to be your morning after drunken fling regret.”

“It’s o-ok; I d-didn’t drink at all t-tonight; I’m still r-recovering from the first n-night”

“Oh .. so I’m the one with a few drinks in me then. How do you feel about that?”

“D-do you think you’d regret anything that m-might h-h-happen?”

“I haven’t in the past, if that’s any indication. And yes, that includes girls.” In truth, Miki’d finished her two drinks hours ago - still, she felt it was good form to give Hanako a heads up.

Hanako blushed, but didn’t break eye contact.

Hanako reached out her un-scarred hand to Miki’s —

“Y-you’re very beautiful.”

Miki had heard this before, but something in Hanako’s earnestness and lack of experience she found endearing — unaffected.

“You’re not so bad yourself - and, it so happens, I’m very partial to long hair,” and Miki laughed, sounding like music.

They kissed - gently, then deeply.


And yet, Miki’s demons fought to destroy the moment.


Miki held out her other arm - “Hold me now and tell me I’m so beautiful.” Miki had taken her bandages off to sit in the hot spring pool and her amputation scars were evident — lighter scars surrounded by hyper-pigmented skin; faint tic-marks where the stitches had held her skin together as it had healed.

Hanako took gentle hold of Miki’s amputated arm with her own scarred hand —

“I f-find nothing to ch-change my mind. Do you?”

Miki shook her head; the atmosphere had become intense - charged with possibility.

“No - you’re still beautiful, and more - you’re brave, which is very, very sexy.”

Miki closed the distance between them and gave Hanako a kiss on the lips, deepening into a passionate embrace - she opened her mouth gently, inviting Hanako in.

--

[Asoko_Desu]

December 27 — The Morning After
Morning

Next morning, arms and legs entangled in the sheets, Hanako nestled into the crook of Miki’s arm.


“M-Miki, I think we sh-should talk about l-last night ..”

“Is everything OK?”

Hanako nodded - “More than OK. Are y-you OK?”

“Mm-hm,” and Miki kissed Hanako’s neck. “Very OK.”

“G-good. I was worried.”

“Don’t be - I enjoyed myself - a lot.”

“Are we .. I m-mean, what do we ..”

“Shh —” Miki put a finger to Hanako’s lips. “Let’s not ask questions right now. Let’s just enjoy this.”

“O-OK.”

Miki brushed the hair away from Hanako’s face

“P-please .. I don’t want y-you to see ..”

“Too late - there wasn’t much of you I didn’t see last night, beautiful woman.”

Hanako blushed - Miki reached up and pulled Hanako in for a kiss that progressively deepened.

“W-won’t the others wonder w-where we’ve gotten to?”

“Let them wonder - I know what I want to do for the rest of the morning. I think they probably know anyhow,” Miki said with a sly smile.

Miki ran her hand up Hanako’s side - “You really are stunningly beautiful. Let’s get you out of those pyjamas ..”

—

Hanako felt as if the ryokan had in some way a numinous character; as if it were a creation of the magical realism authors she loved so well.

She tuned back into what Miki was saying, mid-sentence —

“ .. I’d like to see if the magic can continue, but we don’t have much in common, I’m not much of a reader and you’re not really into sports.”

Hanako realized that Miki was talking about the future - possibly their future. And why not? There’s no speed limit on how fast a relationship can progress, although perhaps there should be. Hanako shrugged —

“I-I’ve started t-taking up photography - I would be honoured i-if you’d let me celebrate you c-c-competing. I’ve watched you run f-from my window - I want to g-g-get to know you, and that’s w-where you’re most yourself.”

Miki blushed - she’d dated plenty of people, and slept with not a few of them - boys and girls, and all they were ever interested in seemed to be her body - specifically what her body could do for them. This was something else - someone taking an interest in her - as a person. Her heart fluttered a little bit - Miki didn’t quite know how to manage the feeling, but it didn’t feel bad.

“I - I think I’d like that,” and she turned away to hide the unexpected wetness at the corners of her eyes.

“Also, I-I’d like to read about the l-lives of others less, and experience l-life for myself more - w-w-with you, if that’s ok.”

“Yes, I think that would be OK,” and Miki wrapped an arm around Hanako’s slim shoulders. “You’re something else, Hana-chan”

—

Hanako and Miki entered the main room together.

Hanako stood by the fridge - “C-can I g-get anybody anything w-while I’ve got the f-f-fridge open?”

“Tetsu would like some orange juice please - he’s quite dehydrated,” Rin requested politely.

Miki hugged Hanako from behind — “Me too - I’m very thirsty” and gave Hanako a peck on the neck

Hanako giggled and leaned back into Miki’s embrace.

Lilly groaned as she regained consciousness on the reclining chair.

“Lilly, c-can I make you some tea?”

“Yes please Hanako.”

—

Later, in Rin and Tetsu’s room.

“I think they make a lovely couple,” observed Tetsu.

“Aren’t all couples lovely?”

“One hopes.”


Afternoon

“Rin, please put a bra on - you’re going to poke someone’s eye out with those things.”

Rin sat on the futon playing a video game against Shiina - Tetsu had cobbled together a video game controller she could manipulate with just her feet; the controller looked like a hot mess, but was obviously solidly built given how hard Rin was trying to mash it into the floor - it was also obvious Rin wasn’t wearing a bra.

“Bras are optional on vacation.”

“Says who?” Asked Emi.

“Says me.” Said Rin.

“Works for me.” Miki chimed in cheerfully, and she stretched her arms behind her head, always ready to take advantage of a lack of authority figures.

“I’ll keep mine on, thanks,” offered Lilly.

“I d-don’t know.. it sounds.. l-liberating.”

“Hanako!” Lilly said with mock-outrage. “That’s hardly proper behaviour for a lady!”

“N-never s-said I was a l-lady - or p-proper.” Hanako said with a little smile, as her eyes flickered briefly towards Miki.

“We’re heading out for a walk,” announced Miki - seemingly impulsively. They dressed for the cold and stepped out onto the crisp ice crystals of the road shoulder - their hands brushed against each other and, turning a corner the ryokan was lost to view, they intertwined fingers.

—

Some had gone back to their rooms, some were in the pool - others like Miki and Hanako decided to enjoy the day by walking about the countryside. Tetsu had elected to stay in and read through a stack of mangas he had brought; Shiina had simply slept through lunch and was now just waking.

“Hey Shiina.”

“Hey Tetsu. Where did everyone get to?”

“Here, there - some are walking about, some soaking - you know.”

“Miki and Hanako?”

“They went for a walk together.” Tetsu fought the urge to pause between saying ‘they’ and ‘went’, or to ask why Shiina wanted to know.

Shiina looked out at the courtyard with a far-off gaze.

“I never had a chance did I.”

“How do you mean?”

“Shizune.”

Tetsu kept his counsel, waiting for Shiina to continue.

Shiina turned to make herself a sandwich.

“I thought by being near her, she’d grow to love me - but familiarity only breeds contempt.”

“I - I don’t think contempt is what she feels.”

“I don’t think she feels anything. Isn’t that the purest form contempt? To not even acknowledge the ground you step on?”

Shiina turned away from the counter, her food abandoned for the moment.

“I just kept hoping. You know she adores you, right?”

“Is `adores` the right word?”

“She writes about you over and over in her notebook - she writes little stories about the things she imagines the two of you doing together. How you two first met when you arrived at Yamaku and she swept you into her orbit — except it didn’t happen that way, did it.”

“No — that was Rin.”

“You know what Shizune said to me after you tried to be friends with us?”

“What?”

“`No fatties.` You hadn’t taken up running yet. It was only later - when you’d trimmed down - that she noticed you.”

“That’s the difference between her and Rin — Rin accepted me for who I was.”

“I .. only wanted her to be happy. If I couldn’t .. maybe ..” Shiina raised her hands to her face and started to sob - Tetsu stood by her; close, but not touching.

“I’m so sorry Shiina.”

Shiina dried her eyes on her sleeve. “Oh, don’t be - there was nothing more you could have done, and I was there to see you try your hardest to - not even get a girlfriend, just make friends. Isn’t English a silly language? You make friends, but you get a girlfriend.”

“What does the difference mean?”

“I don’t .. I don’t know - it’s just silly. It says something about how we view the world, but I’m too tired to figure out what it is. I wish we’d been closer friends, you and I. Teaching Rin sign language felt like we were, almost, if only by extension.”

“We are friends, Shiina, even if only because the friend of my partner is by default my friend.”

“You’re pragmatic - able to look past the confusion of superficial feelings. I wish I had that super power.”

Tetsu washed his hands in the sink and put the components of Shiina’s sandwich together.

“You should eat - you’re probably hungry.”

“And lose this good sulk?” She smiled lopsidedly. “You’re right - I probably am. Thanks,” and took the sandwich on its plate from Tetsu.

“So what now?”

“Naow,” she said around a mouthful of tuna-salad sandwich, “I heat mah luhnch!” She swallowed — “Good chat, Tetsu. We should do this again sometime - just you and I.”

“We can do that. Maybe Shizune needs to realize how much she relies on you by your not being there for her 24/7.”

“I think you’re onto something. But now,” brushing the crumbs off of her sweater and onto the floor, “It’s time for a swim!”

—

After Shiina towelled up and headed out into the misty courtyard, Rin emerged from her and Tetsu’s bedroom, and sat beside Tetsu on the sofa - knees drawn up to her chest, head on Tetsu’s shoulder.

“Feeling better?”

Rin nodded.

“Don’t leave me - never leave me. We may disagree - we may fight - we must never part - ever.”

Tetsu put his head on hers - “Never leaving you.”

Rin took a sip of Tetsu’s coffee “Needs sugar”.


Night

“M-Miki, what’s your home l-like?”

“My dad lives on an old farm out in the middle of nowhere - you can see the ocean from it; you could almost - but not quite - walk there.”

“Is th-there a town nearby? A-a school w-where you went?”

“There are - they’re pretty distant, but not so far I couldn’t bicycle to them. Why?”

“I-I just ..” Here Hanako paused “.. just w-want to know what that side of you is l-like; the part of you from b-before Yamaku.”

“Maybe you’ll see it sometime — I’ll have to see what my father thinks about having `company` over, but .. I’m not too worried.”

“Are there m-many people about?”

“Almost none. Plenty of gulls, but almost no people.”

“Sounds d-divine.”

Hanako snuggled into Miki’s side and presently was asleep, dreaming of the smell of salt water and the cry of sea birds.


--

[Asoko_Desu]

December 28 — Preparing for Departure
Morning

Hanako and Lilly were spending a quiet moment in their room — Hanako had stopped by in the early morning, after spending the night with Miki, to get a change of clothes.

“Hanako?”

“Y-yes Lilly?”

“You .. haven’t been in our room much. Is everything.. alright?”

“Oh yes - v-very!”

“Good - You’d tell me if it wasn’t?”

“Y-yes, I would.”

“Thank you, Hanako - I mean that.”

“I know, L-Lilly, I know.”

“You and Miki, seem to have become ..”

“C-close.”

“Yes .. close.” Lilly privately wondered whether Rin’s `rip the bandage off quickly` approach wasn’t actually the better way after all. At least the problem wasn’t between Hanako and herself - Lilly had worried she’d possibly given offence or somehow hurt Hanako’s sensibilities, but that appeared not to be the case.

“I don’t mean to pry, of course ..”



“I-I know; y-you’re not p-prying.” Hanako seemed genuine in her sentiment, but at the same time reluctant to fill in the details that Lilly so obviously wanted to know. To be honest, not that she was trying to be cruel, but it gave Hanako a small measure of pride to keep her secrets to herself - a frisson of personal power. One day she’d tell Lilly everything, but not today.

Lilly seemed to compose herself — “If you’re happy, that’s what counts, so I’m happy.” She smiled and folded her hands in her lap.

“I-I am happy, for n-now. I have no idea w-what tomorrow may b-bring b-but today seems p-positive.”

“That’s good — shall we join the others then? I believe I hear breakfast being prepared - I think it’s Emi’s turn to cook today.”


Afternoon

Shiina sat alone in the main room, staring into the dregs of her cold cup of coffee, looking tired and certainly older than her years. Miki entered the room and, after a look at Shiina’s expression, decided to interrupt her reverie —

“Shiina?”

“Miki?”

“You OK?”

Shiina looked up, trying and failing to put on her Misha mask; summoning only enough energy to make a manic smile, but the smile underlined sad, tired eyes.

“Never better!”

“If you say so.”

“.. Miki?”

“Mm-hm?”

“You and Hanako - are you a couple now?”

“Well, `One swallow does not a summer make`, but .. I’d like us to be.”

“You’re lucky. I - I’m happy for you — I just wish I was lucky too.”

“Shiina, you’ve ever only had eyes for Shizune - have you even talked to anyone else in our class until this weekend? Me? You’ve barely said a word to me all year. You do class work with Hisao because you sit next to him, but how about Suzu - you know - the queerest thing on two legs and a cane? When have you ever even said good morning to her?”

“The shit you say?”

“You’d know if you hung around with someone other than Shizune occasionally; Suzu’s not exactly keeping it a secret - have you seen the manga she reads?”

“Obviously not.” Shiina said ruefully.

“Look - maybe when we get back, you me, Hanako and Suzu can go for lunch or whatever and just - hang out?”

“I .. think I’d like that.” Shiina looked a lot less tired all of a sudden - the light of possibility coming back into her eyes.


Evening

Tetsu stripped down to enter the hot spring pool one last time, finding only Miki there —


“Hey Miki - no Hanako?”

“No Hanako - not right now. She’s in her room packing and helping Lilly pack some things before check-out tomorrow. She said she might be along later, depends - it’s been a busy week and we’re both a little bushed.”

“You don’t say.”



“Shut it you,” she said with a smile.



“You can’t give me a line like that and expect me to let it pass.”

Miki splashed water at Tetsu in retort.

“Miki — I thought you liked your relationships easy.”

“I do - I did - until, well, Hanako. To be honest, maybe I was ready for a change - after all, the light-and-fluffy approach hasn’t really worked for me, has it? And Hanako’s working on herself - I respect that effort; strangely, people who take responsibility for their shit are attractive,” and she pouted at him playfully.

“And I wouldn’t say it’s hard to be with her - we just kind of `clicked`, which is how it’s supposed to work, isn’t it?”

“So I’ve read, but I think maybe you got lucky.”


“And you’re expecting me to leave a line like that alone?” quipped Miki, ducking as Tetsu splashed her with water.

Tetsu was delighted that, for two at least, something special had come of the week away.


--

[Asoko_Desu]

December 29 — Checkout
Morning

Leaving day was always the same - never enough time; the time one had seemed to have just evaporated away when a day before it felt like forever.

There was a flurry of intense cleaning - the washing machine was going, the dishwasher, and the vacuum. Fortunately the circuit breaker didn’t `blow` again.

Finally bags were packed, wrapping and presents stowed, and a very tired winter cohort filed onto the bus.

“Lilly .. w-would you m-mind too terribly if .. Miki a-and I sat t-together on the w-way back?”

“Not at all ..” Lilly held out her hands to Hanako, who held them gently. “Who was Miki siting with?

“I-I think she was sitting in the s-single seat at the f-front of the b-bus.”

“Well, that’s fine - as long as she doesn’t mind me hogging the view.” said Lilly, smiling.

“Th-thank you Lilly.” Hanako reached forward and, impulsively, gently hugged Lilly’s shoulders. They stayed like that just longer than briefly — it felt like a parting hug, and in a ways, it was; Lilly now was no longer the most important person in Hanako’s world.


Afternoon

The ride back was wholly uneventful — everyone to a person slept the entire way back, waking only for a rest stop half way.

Tetsu stirred as the bus climbed the hill to Yamaku - they weren’t even going to have time to unpack before they had to head down to the train station at an unholy early hour the next morning. Their evening was going to be simple: dinner, shower, set his and Rin’s alarms, and crash - in that order. And laundry - the shirt Tetsu was wearing had to go in the wash; Rin had fallen asleep against him and had drooled all down his arm — such are the sacrifices we make.


--

[Asoko_Desu]

Dear Diary
December 30 — Sunday


“Dear Diary - it hasn’t been a year, but I wanted to tell you about Tetsu’s first time meeting my parents.”

“He wants to make a good impression - I know he wants to ask my father for permission to marry me, but I’ve already said yes - and it’s me who’s getting married, not my father, but Tetsu says he’s being polite. He’s being polite to my father, but is he being polite to me? It’s not my father’s call — well, it is until I’m 20, but we’re not planning on getting married until then anyhow.”

Rin paused to think; she wasn’t sure she liked the path her thoughts were going down — her logic felt wrong.

“Maybe polite isn’t the right word - maybe `not rude` is better. Is there a difference? Logically, no, but words are hardly logical are they, diary ..”

“Tetsu certainly can’t marry me without my permission, so my wishes are being respected in that direction at least. Is this one of those `Social Norm` things people talk about?”

“It doesn’t feel normal to me, but then I don’t come across as `normal` to society so .. probably? As long as no one is taking the decision away from me, I can live with it I guess. Mom is probably going to make a huge fuss about it — nothing to be done for that.”

“It’s been almost a year since I saw Sana last — wonder how that’s going to go. I wish I could bring my worry tree with me, but that’s not how these things work. Maybe I’ll find my old one in the forest around my parents’ house again - I think I’m going to need it.”

--

[Asoko_Desu]

T is for Tezuka
December 30 — Sunday


Rin and Tetsu caught the first bus leaving for the train station - the air was crisp and cold, and the sun hadn’t yet begun to stain the sky with the red of sunrise. The bus arrived and they bundled themselves onto it, along with a scant few other students also presumably catching trains home for New Year’s. They took seats near the back and settled in.


“So where are we going, exactly”

“My parents’ house.”

“I know that - and I know they’re in Osaka, but where in Osaka - what is their address?”

“Does it matter? They only live in one house after all.”

“I’ve got their phone number - it would just be nice to know where we’re going in case we get separated.”

Rin thought on this as if the idea hadn’t occurred to her - which it hadn’t.

“It’s on my phone.”

Tetsu fished Rin’s phone out from under her behind - the lanyard was quite long so that her feet could operate it - and retrieved the address from it.

“OK - now we can get separated by pirates and not be lost.”


“Well - I wouldn’t be lost - I know where I’m going at least.”

—

The train pulled into Shin-Osaka station, just after one o’clock. The train ride had been a long one - just over 4 hours - which was still better than taking the bus which would have been closer to 12 hours. Nevertheless, it was Tetsu’s first time on a Shinkansen and he was thrilled with every minute of the ride, and the landscape which went by at blazing speed.

After securing a porter’s help to get their luggage off of the train and onto a cart, they headed to the arrivals area to be met by what looked like a shorter, older version of Rin - a small woman who smiled widely on recognizing them.

“Rin!” She ran over to give Rin a hug, which Rin endured stoically, arms outstretched.

“And you must be Tetsu! I’ve heard so much about you!” Exclaimed Mrs. Tezuka, bowing.

“You can hug him if you want to - I know you do.”

“But what if he’s not ready to be hugged?”

Tetsu was fairly certain he was ready to not be referred to in the third person. He was starting to see where Rin got her social awkwardness from.

“That’s ok Tezuka-sama - you can hug me if you wish,” said Tetsu, bowing.

“See - I told you he’s easy to get along with.”

“So he is!” Mrs. Tezuka’s voice somewhat muffled, her face being buried in Tetsu’s shirt around the level of his sternum.

“Mmph. Needs to lose weight - I can barely put my arms around him.”

“I’ve never had a problem,” observed Rin, dryly.

After more than long enough Mrs. Tezuka broke the hold — “OK, let’s get your luggage into the car. Father was busy with the van, so I hope we have enough room for everything, otherwise we’ll have to make a second trip to pick up your art work!”

Rin looked coldly at the plain white ceiling of the train station. That joke hadn’t been funny the first dozen times she’d heard it and it still wasn’t. That she broke down crying the first time her mother had said it, picking Rin up at school in grade two should have been a clue, but evidently wasn’t.

“We don’t have to sit together; perhaps Rin could sit up front and I’ll sit in the back with her art.”

“No, dear, you’re so big - you sit up front with me and Rin can keep the art company in the back; it’s hers after all.”

Tetsu was a trifle put-out at how cavalierly Rin’s art was treated, unless this ritual of bringing boxes of her art home had been happening regularly for the past several years - possibly since well before Yamaku - and such periodic shipments had become unremarkable.

—

“Father! They’re here! Come meet Tetsu!” Called out Mrs. Tezuka, holding the door for Rin and Tetsu, as Tetsu lumbered the luggage into the foyer.

“Oh, just drop everything here — we’ll clear it away later. Also, we’re giving you two Rin’s old bedroom - father’s spent the day clearing it out.”

Tetsu took a look around the inside of the house - as much as he could see from the foyer. The house appeared to not be in the typical Japanese style; it appeared hand-made in a unique style, with lots of exposed wood. As Tetsu looked more closely, he could see there were small carvings on every surface.

Mr. Tezuka arrived quietly to greet them in the foyer - a small man, gnome-ish, like his wife. He was wearing denim overalls and a leather apron with various wood-working tools tucked into pockets. His face was lined; his hair and its functional cut reminded Tetsu very much of Rin’s hair.

Tetsu was expecting what he’d heard was the typical ritual for being accepted by a girlfriend’s parents - bring chocolates and whiskey; stay out of the way while mother cooks - get drunk with father. Bonding done; you’re now an accepted part of the family.

Of course, the Tezuka family was in no way typical.

“Father Tezuka-sama — it is an honour ..” Tetsu bowed to Rin’s father.

“Isn’t he the polite one!” Rin’s mother exclaimed.

“Thank you for your hospitality ..” Tetsu continued his carefully practiced speech, bringing out the gifts of chocolates and whiskey for Mrs. and Mr. Tezuka respectively.

“Hm. Hm? Fine - fine. That’s good,” said Mr. Tezuka, a trifle distractedly.

“Oh thank you Tetsu — Chihiro, Mr. Tezuka, doesn’t drink, but I certainly do. I’ll put these away.” And Mrs. Tezuka swept the gift bags with chocolates and whiskey away into a cupboard.

Tetsu realized that, after bowing, Mr. Tezuka was standing in front of him, holding both his hands out to Tetsu, palms up. At a loss for what to do next, having given his gifts to Mrs. Tezuka, Tetsu just placed his hands palm-down on Mr. Tezuka’s.

Mr. Tezuka took Tetsu’s hands in his and turned them over, inspecting Tetsu’s innumerable marks from shop class - the callouses, cuts, and burn scars; square-cut fingernails with grease and paint underneath them.



“Mm-hm.” He said with considerably more engagement, returning Tetsu’s hands to him gently, like a craftsman putting away cherished tools. “That’s good. Handy. OK.” With no more than that, Mr. Tezuka turned and walked away.

Tetsu looked sideways at Rin, not sure what to make of the exchange. Rin just nodded — “He likes you. Come on; let me show you our room.”

—

Entering Rin’s room, Tetsu was suddenly confronted with a wall made of wooden planks, carved within an inch of their lives on every possible inch of their surfaces. Faceted faces, creatures, feet, animals, flowers - painted, with each facet painted distinctly, creating a riot of chaotic colour — a disorienting effect, like being too close to an LCD monitor.


“I’m going to help father put my art away - left on his own, he’d rather carve things into the frames than actually store them.” With that, Rin turned and left. She didn’t seem very nostalgic about being home, but Tetsu could tell she was feeling something.


Tetsu stepped into the room and realized, with a shock - as the chaotic symphony of colour snapped into relief - that the whole wall was a painted picture of a fawn in a woodland scene. He was staggered by the vision and the execution - it was an impressionist masterpiece with every dot of paint a part of a carving, blending into the whole - all to decorate a child’s bedroom. Along the bottom of the masterpiece in one corner the image wavered into patches of discordant chaos.

“This was Rin’s room, growing up. Hi, I’m Sana - Rin’s sister. UNESCO was less than impressed when Rin painted over parts of the mural.”

Tetsu turned to see a woman with brown hair, slightly shorter than Rin; her face, rounder than Rin’s, but definitely a family resemblance.



“Tetsu.”



“So I gathered. Father carves plenty of Oni - he doesn’t invite them in for dinner, usually.”

“UNESCO?”

“A man of few words - I can see you and dad will get along just fine. Yeah - something about `intangible cultural value` or some shit. They left a plaque - we need to put it up; it’s around here somewhere.”

“Your father liked my hands.”

“That’s him - priorities. I'm guessing you make things?” — Tetsu nodded.

“Then you have something else in common - good for you,” she said listlessly.

“You know what Rin would do when she ran out of paper to paint on?”

“What?”

“She’d just keep going - paint on the walls, the floors, wherever her vision led her.”

“Hence UNESCO.”

“Hence indeed. I’ll let you unpack - when you’re done, come downstairs and have tea and snacks.” With that, Sana turned and headed back downstairs. Tetsu stared at the wall for a bit longer, then tore his eyes away from it to unpack his clothes. He could hear Sana call out from the stair —

“Oh, and sound travels very well in the house. Might want to keep that in mind if you’re sharing a room.”

—

“You’ve already met Rin’s older sister Sana I think - her only sister, or sibling of any kind. Back from college - she’s studying accounting,” Rin’s mother said by way of introducing Sana over tea.

“One of us has to be normal - guess it had to be me,” Sana said with a trace of bitterness.

“Normal is what you make it, I’ve found,” offered Tetsu.

“Oh? Really? Do you get to decide what society thinks of you? Whether you’re accepted by others or not?”


Tetsu hadn’t been expecting a grilling over tea and kimchi, but he had his own opinions ..

“To an extent - people respond to how we think of ourselves.”

“Whatever.” Sana was clearly unimpressed at having an audience that pushed back.

Tetsu searched for something to bolster his argument — “Look at Rin’s art - doesn’t its value stand on its own, regardless of what individual people might think of it?”

Sana snorted like a bull getting ready to charge — Tetsu got the feeling he’d just stepped on a land mine.

“Why does Rin get to be the special one? She was always doted on - and now she swans in here with a handsome western boyfriend like it’s no big thing at all.”

Tetsu had the misfortune of catching Rin’s eye at that moment - the sheer ridiculousness of Sana’s opinion that he and Rin had simply hooked up like it was `no big thing` wildly stepped over the line from tiresome bitchiness to parody.

Tetsu snickered - he tried to make it sound like a sneeze.

Rin started to laugh, trying to make it sound like a cough, but soon was sobbing in gales of laughter. Tetsu for his part, was laughing into his sleeve - mortally embarrassed to be so unguarded in front of Rin’s parents, but his laughter fed on Rin’s and .. it was all too much; the stress of the nine months since his arrival at Yamaku chose that moment to break free.

Sana was furious.

“How dare you laugh at me - you two privileged .. apes,” Sana spat, so enraged as to be unable to form a proper insult.

“Sorry .. sorry .. I’m, oh, so sorry,” Tetsu said around laughter he was finally getting under control. Rin’s face and eyes were red; she wiped her face on her sleeve to brush away the tears. Tetsu held his hands up to keep Sana from storming out of the dining room.

Tetsu continued haltingly “If only you knew .. the almost literal mountain we’ve had to climb to be together.” Tetsu coughed. “Did you know that Rin learned sign language so that she could talk to me?”

“That’s ridiculous - how could she even ..?"

“Not to do sign language - to read it. When I got to Yamaku I .. couldn’t speak Japanese, but I could sign. She learned to read sign so she could understand what I was saying. And wanting to talk to her pushed me to learn Japanese - my first language is English.”


“I could tell that from your accent,” Sana responded, churlishly - unwilling to cede the point.

“.. so when you said `no big thing` .. I’m sorry, I just .. it was .. too much. Nine months of us trying to connect, not sure it would work, not sure if it would blow up in our faces - still not sure, but willing to do more than try; to work as hard as we need to make it happen ..”

Sana didn’t appear mollified, but at least didn’t look as enraged as before.

“I’m sorry. We’re tired - it’s been a long year, please forgive us,” Tetsu ended weakly. He would have been within his rights to have been angry back at Sana, but he wanted to desperately to keep the peace and recover what he could of Rin’s parents’ good opinion of him - no matter how inhospitable Sana had been, she was still their daughter and they could hardly appreciate her being laughed at.

It was clear Sana didn’t completely buy into Tetsu’s hastily summarized account of the past year, but manners insisted that Sana accept his apology and let the matter drop, at least for now.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to take a nap before dinner,” and Sana left.



“You’ll have to forgive Sana - she’s not been as successful in dating as Rin has been,” offered Mrs. Tezuka.

“Successful?”

“Rin’s dating you, isn’t she?”

Once again, Rin radiated embarrassment, but embarrassment of the pleased sort.

Rin’s father examined the snacks, arranging ginger cookies in neat little geometric arrangements on the serving plate.

“My apologies for causing any inconvenience ..” Tetsu began.

“Oh, no, no - that’s just Sana being Sana. She has opinions and holds them fiercely. Probably does her good to be exposed to opinions outside of the ones in her head. As much as she likes to deny it, she’s not that different from the rest of the family.”

Tetsu caught Rin’s eye - “Thank you for the tea and snacks; I think we might also like to have some down time before dinner if you don’t mind - it was a long trip from Sendai.”

“Not at all - see you in a bit!”

Mr. Tezuka was far to absorbed in shaving the round ginger cookies into tessellated shapes to acknowledge their leaving.


--

[Asoko_Desu]

T is for Tezuka
December 31 — Monday


Dinner the night before had been a quiet, odd affair — Mr. Tezuka preferred to eat in his workshop and Sana begged off to her room to do some homework that needed to be completed over the holidays, which left Rin, Tetsu, and Mrs. Tezuka to finish the big bowls of ramen Rin’s mother had prepared. Rin sat on a small table about half the height of, and beside the dining room table - this let her manipulate her bowl with her feet, and keep her more or less at eye level with everyone else. It was more of a very large chair, equal in size to the small-ish dining table; clearly a well-established practice at the Tezuka household, given Rin’s `table` had been fitted with a back rest so she didn’t have to constantly tense her stomach muscles to sit up straight while eating — an innovation that appeared to have been added by her father.

“I guess dining together really isn’t something they do - for the holidays, or ever, maybe.” Tetsu thought to himself - a family absorbed in their own individual pursuits and minds. Living just outside of a secluded village overlooking Osaka, they retained knowledge of the larger world around them - entering into it on their own terms.

Tetsu hadn’t had the best night’s sleep - Rin’s old bed was, well, old - and also Rin-sized, and as much as they enjoyed cuddling, there’s a minimum size of bed beyond which every toss and turn is directly communicated to one’s sleeping partner, interrupting their sleep.

Plumbing the depths of sleep deprivation, Tetsu zoned back in frantically when he realized Mrs. Tezuka was speaking to him —

“.. plans for tonight?”

Tetsu hadn’t quite mastered Rin’s trick of being able to play back conversations in his head on demand, but it was pretty clear what was being discussed.

“Not yet — this is Rin’s home field; I was hoping she’d suggest something,” Tetsu said, looking to Rin.

Rin nodded — “The porch out back - it looks out over Osaka Bay where the big fireworks display will be. I thought we could bundle up in blankets and watch it from there. That’s where I’d sit to watch the city lights when I was younger ..” she added, unnecessarily — being home seemed to bring out a more child-like side of her; endearing, but also less confident.

Breakfast was simple - eggs poached in miso soup, nori, and a bowl of rice with a side of pickles; they finished quickly and, despite Tetsu’s offering to help, Rin’s mother insisted on cleaning up by herself - “I’ve been doing this on my own this long, no need to stop now,” she commented, with an indefinable air.

—

Tetsu and Rin were preparing to spend part of their day walking around the rural area outside of Rin’s parent’s home. The house was set back in a pine and bamboo forest; a small village was walking distance down a well-maintained, but infrequently travelled road.

The air was chilly, but not cold - Tetsu helped Rin put her coat and boots on, then dressed himself; Mrs. Tezuka gave them each one of her extended hugs, but Rin’s father was nowhere to be seen.

“Don’t mind Chihiro — he’s in his workshop almost continually. I had to put my foot down when he wanted a full bathroom installed just off the workshop — if he didn’t have to come into the house occasionally I don’t know if I’d ever see him!” said Mrs. Tezuka with a dry laugh.

“I can see where Rin gets her work ethic from.”

Sana chose this moment to sail through the main room on her way to the kitchen —

“Obsessiveness you mean. We tried medicating her, but it didn’t take.”

“.. fortunately,” thought Tetsu. Rin stared daggers at Sana, but said nothing. Sensing trouble in the offing, Tetsu opened the front door —

“OK, let’s get going before we over-heat. We’ll be back .. I don’t know when we’ll be back. Rin?”

“This afternoon. Probably. Maybe,” offered Rin.

—

They walked along the main road and, after passing a conbini, a small grocery, a cafe - and a bunch of shuttered storefronts - found themselves on the other side of town. “Blink and you miss it,” thought Tetsu. Ahead of them, just inside city limits, was a generic-looking public building.

“My old school,” commented Rin, with something approaching nostalgia in her voice, but not quite.

The building was closed, but there were windows by the front door - Tetsu looked in and saw glass trophy cases, and what looked like some of Rin’s artwork inside, at least he assumed it was Rin’s work - cruder in form and with more primary colours than her current work, but the style was unmistakeable. Even as a child she’d been a disturbingly distinctive artist.

“Your art?” Rin shook her head.

“No?”

“No - not this me. A littler me.”

Tetsu tried the door - it was unlocked.

“Should we be doing this?” Asked Rin.

“Should we not? I’d like a closer look at your art.”

Rin seemed uncomfortable with the idea, but also intrigued.


“What should we tell them if we get caught?” Tetsu asked.

“Tell them I needed to use the washroom - which is true.”

Tetsu held the door for Rin and the went in - a big sign above the door said ‘Welcome’, so worse coming to worst, they could argue they’d had an invitation.

There were staff washrooms just past the foyer and they quickly availed themselves of it after making sure they were unoccupied. Returning to the foyer undistracted, Tetsu looked at the contents of the display case and found them to be startlingly reminiscent of home - if you ignored the fact that all the writing was in Japanese; trophies, pennants, some small arts and crafts - all dusty. It appeared that nothing had been added to, or taken from the cabinets in some time.

“How many students were at the school when you were here?”

“About twenty - it was a small town then and it’s smaller now. If I'd stayed, I’d have gone to high school the next town over.”

Tetsu nodded as he came to the next case - here there were four framed paintings, in Rin’s style, and two others in a different style, but similar to Rin’s. It was odd to see the paintings framed - they were watercolours on standard school-grade construction paper, but it was clear someone at the school thought they were important enough to be displayed.

“Do you remember painting these?”

Rin nodded — “I remember her - me, then.” Rin paused as a rush of feelings came back - memories of emotions fresh and new, and perceptions of a world that was tightly bounded and easy to understand; the face of her teacher, her seat in class, her favourite brushes and colours, her personal care worker’s voice, the smell of freshly mixed paint.

“Rin? Is that you?” Asked a woman’s voice from down the hall.

“Miss Nakajima?"

A slight Japanese woman with grey hair and conservative dress came towards them - her feet were hidden by her skirt, but her steps were so short it appeared she was walking on tiptoe.

“Rin, it is you! I was just in over the holidays tidying up and preparing lesson plans for the new year. Not many students, but the work still needs to be done. I heard a noise, thinking some students had come by, and I was right - but not in the way I thought!”

“Oh you’ve grown - you’re not the tiny little Rin who ran around on my freshly polished floors with paint all over her feet,” she said, with amusement. Rin blushed and shook her head, looking up at the ceiling.

“Now now, you mustn’t be embarrassed - everybody was young once; even me!”



Collecting herself, Nakajima-sensei sized Tetsu up — “And who might this be? A friend of yours, hm?” She said with a hint of suspicion - Tetsu did rather tend stand out wherever he went in Japan; especially in a small town that rarely saw westerners.

“His name is Tetsu - he speaks Japanese; he’s my boyfriend. Nakajima-sensei was my home room teacher here.” Rin moved half a step closer to Tetsu, protectively. Tetsu bowed respectfully —

“Kaiyou, Tetsu — a pleasure to meet you. We’ve been visiting Rin’s parents over New Year’s.”

Rin’s teacher relaxed somewhat, but was still obviously unaccustomed to such a strange stranger in her school.

“We don’t want to keep you from you work - we should be heading back to Rin’s parent’s soon,” offered Tetsu, trying to make a graceful exit in light of Nakajima-sensei’s evident unease - and the fact that they were trespassing, `Welcome` sign or no.



Miss Nakajima bowed to them and, and - perhaps regretting that she had let her fears cut short a chance to re-connect with Rin - asked “Will you be in town long?”

“Just until tomorrow,” said Rin.

Tetsu, had been thinking on what was missing from the Tezuka household; he speculated that it was human connection, and an idea came to him —

“I don’t want to speak for Rin, but, perhaps, if you wanted to stay in touch, she has an email address. Do you use email?”

“Oh yes - I use it to keep in touch with my nieces at University. Would you be willing to share your email address, Rin?”

Rin nodded, somewhat shyly. As someone who lived life ever looking forwards, the feeling of nostalgia was unfamiliar to her.

“Tetsu - would you?” Asked Rin. Tetsu fished one of the simple business cards they’d recently had made-up for Rin out of her pocket, handing it over to Miss Nakajima with both hands.

Tezuka, Rin
Artist


xxxxx!mail!tezuka,rin

“Thank you so much .. I still think of you often, Rin. It will be nice to know how you’re progressing in life.”

They all bowed one last time, then Rin and Tetsu left.


“I hope I didn’t put you on the spot there.”


“No — I don’t think I would have done that, but it was the right thing to do. She was a good teacher - strict, but she cared a lot about me. I never told her that I knew it.”

“Now you can.”



“Now I can.”

—

Returning to the Tezuka household after a short walk, they found Sana reading in the main room.

“I’m tired - didn’t sleep well last night - going up to have a nap,” said Rin and she went upstairs. Wanting a nap himself, but knowing neither would get much of one if they both tried sleeping in the same bed at the same time, he figured he’d tough it out for an hour then crash. Unfortunately that meant sharing the main room with Sana. “What’s the chance she’s like Hanako and gets really involved in her books?” Thought Tetsu.

No such luck.

Tetsu had settled into the futon opposite the one Sana was reading on and had started writing in the pocket journal he had started carrying with him when he travelled.

“So - how long have you known Rin for?” A seemingly innocuous question, but like a meadow abandoned after a border war, Tetsu knew Sana contained landmines — they were generally named `Rin`, but a peaceful evening was on the other side of the meadow - so here we go, metal detectors at full extension.

“I met Rin not long after the start of the school year in April, although you couldn’t call it `knowing` Rin - I just helped her out with the mural she painted at school a bit,” answered Tetsu, hoping he could leave it there.

“You haven’t answered my question,” Sana responded, testily.

“I’m getting there.” Internally Tetsu facepalmed.

“Our first real conversation was at lunch, I think, near the end of June or beginning of July.” The exact date was in his journal, but he wasn’t about to submit to that precise a cross-examination - not by Sana.

“What did you two talk about?” Tetsu put down his journal and his pen - this meadow was getting bigger by the minute.

“Rin-things, like the sky, art, poetry.”


“Surely you talked about more than that ..”

Tetsu shrugged. “I don’t think those are small topics.”

“What attracted you to Rin?” `beep` `beep` `beep` went the mine-detector in Tetsu’s head. “Fuck,” he thought.

“The fact she was Rin - I was new to the school, new to Japan, struggling with the language, and was trying to make new friends. Here was a person who didn’t look to anyone else for validation - who might like me for who I was, because I was in no position to fawn over anyone. But that’s in hindsight - I really didn’t put that much thought into `why`, I was too busy thinking of `how`.”

“Aha! `How` what?” *click* thought Tetsu - I’ve stepped on a mine. How I get off of it determines whether I lose a leg, my life, or I live to do ballet another day.

“How to communicate with her. Like I said, I didn’t speak Japanese well - or at all - even though I understood a fair amount of it - second languages are funny that way - the understanding comes before the speaking. So I wrote to her on a notepad and she responded.”

“Sounds cumbersome,” Sana sniffed.

“It was - I think that’s why Rin learned sign language.”

“Why did you know sign language?”

“That’s .. another story.”

“Tell me,” Sana demanded.

“It has nothing to do with your original question and you’ve already indicated you don’t appreciate my going off-topic, or what you perceive as off-topic.” Tetsu had stopped caring about the frantic beeping in his head.

“Are you sure you weren’t trying to figure out how you could swoop in and save her? Carry her off her feet? A vulnerable person, unable to stand up for herself?”

“Have you met Rin? If I’d tried to sweep her off her feet she’d probably have kicked me - and I’d have deserved it. Someone else might have thought she needed saving - they might have thought that of anyone at Yamaku - and they’d be wrong.”

Sana sat, arms crossed, staring sullenly at Tetsu.

“It sounds like you’re worried about Rin.”



“She’s my sister - I don’t have to like her, but I do have to care about her. Those are the rules.”



“You’ll excuse me if I choose to do both.”



“You have to - you’re her boyfriend. Those are your rules. Do you understand what it means to be her boyfriend though?”

“How so?”

“She’s not like other girls ..”

“I thought we’d established that.”

“I don’t mean like that. It’s a lot of responsibility - if you get tired of that responsibility, she’ll blame herself. She’d never say that, but it’s true. Did you realize you were signing up to be her personal care worker as well as her romantic partner?”

“You sound like Rin’s friend - our friend - Emi, but mostly Rin’s friend. Neither of you know Rin like I do. She has more strength than you realize, and no more vulnerabilities than any of the rest of us. And yes - Rin made sure early on that I knew what was involved in being there for her on a daily basis; and she’s no invalid - tying her shoes isn’t one of her strong suits, but she looks after herself very well without my help,” Tetsu said, somewhat protectively.

“Rin’s special though - she’s di.. different.”

“You were going to say `disabled`.”

“Maybe I was.”

“She doesn’t think so - and that doesn’t define her even if she did, any more than my disability defines me. I won’t let it and neither will she. Rin doesn’t need me to defend her — Rin wants to take her own risks with her life; she could get bored of me as well and we could break up. Relationships can be fragile things - we’re both taking a risk that we don’t fully understand.”

“How are you even disabled?”

“That’s my business — I will say I wasn’t at Yamaku on a lark.”

“Tetsu’s right.” Tetsu and Sana turned - Rin had been sitting on the stairs, quietly listening.

“How long have you been sitting there?” Asked Sana.

“Long enough. As you said - sisters don’t have to like each other, but they have to love each other; you can resent me as long as you respect me.”

Sana appeared to collapse - the wind taken entirely out of her sails. This was a new Rin from the distant, laconic one she remembered growing up with - confident and able to stand her ground.

“You’re not the Rin I used to know.”

“Maybe not — trees grow, but I think I am still me — in my heart at least. Thank you for caring about me, but I think it’s Tetsu’s turn to have a nap before dinner.”

“Saved by the bell,” thought Tetsu.

“If you’ll excuse me ..” Sana ignored Tetsu leaving and went back to her book. As Tetsu passed Rin on the stair they shared a look of profound connection — something special had just happened; one day they’d figure out what it was.

—

“Dinner!” Mrs. Tezuka called out.

“Going to meet friends in town,” Sana responded, hastily shovelling dinner indiscriminately into a sealable bento box. She threw on her coat, grabbed her dinner and took off in the car with a grinding of gravel.


“Sana has friends now?” Asked Rin, flatly, after Sana had left.

“First time for everything, dear?”

—

Rin’s parents had gone to bed early - “Seen them before.” said Mr. Tezuka of the fireworks, as if there were vastly more interesting vistas inside his head - which was probably true. Rin’s mother followed soon after; not her usual chatty self, she was none the less in a good mood - she appeared to value giving Rin and Tetsu some private time together.

Rin prodded a wooden chest open - the scent of cedar planks wafted out from the heavy woven blankets within. “They were a gift from one of Father’s artist friends - he traded her a cedar chest like this one for them - they’re so warm.”

Tetsu gathered up the blankets and followed Rin out to the back porch, turning off the main room light on his way. They bundled up and prepared for the start of the fireworks.


--

[Asoko_Desu]

T is for Tezuka
January 01 — Tuesday


At breakfast, Rin’s father was again absent; afterwards Tetsu sought him out to plead his case — “We’re heading back to Sendai after lunch; it’s now or never ..” thought Tetsu to himself.

Tetsu knocked gently at the door to Mr. Tezuka’s workshop - the door was ajar and opened easily. Inside was Mr. Tezuka, surrounded by woodworking tables, benches, tools, woods of all kinds, and all manner of constructions in various stages of completion. In the back stood a wooden deer that looked like it had posable joints. Tetsu coughed to draw Rin’s father’s attention —


“Mr. Tezuka ..”

“Chihiro, please,” said Mr. Tezuka, without looking up from the piece he was working on.

“Mr. Tezuka, Chihiro — Rin and I ..” Tetsu paused, not certain of how to continue.

Chihiro nodded — “Mm. It’s good - you and Rin are fine.”

“That is, we’d like to get married at some point, if you’re ok ..”

Chihiro set his work down and turned to Tetsu, patted Tetsu on the arm, addressing Tetsu in an abstracted sort of voice, like something he saved for talking at length with people and which he didn't use much — “It’s fine. Youth is the time for action and the young trees politely ask the older trees for light, but the old trees fall away and the younger trees take their place and so on.”

He then turned and went back to his carving. Sensing the audience was over, Tetsu went to leave, making to close the door behind him. Before he did, Mr. Tezuka spoke to him again — “Tell Rin I’m proud of her; she’s done good.”

“Maybe she should hear that from you,” thought Tetsu, but that might be a bridge too far for this family, living in their self-imposed isolation other all these years.

—

“Tetsu! I just took Father his lunch - he told me you and Rin are getting married!” Mrs. Tezuka exclaimed.

Tetsu was relieved to hear that his eccentric conversation with Rin’s father had gone well — he hadn’t been entirely certain what to make of it.

“Ah - we haven’t set a date - I wanted to wait until I was done with school and had a job so I could buy her a ring and formally propose - but we’ve promised each other we never want to be apart. Isn’t that the heart of a proposal, even if the words are different?”

“I think it is, and I think it’s wonderful - and I’m sorry if I put you on the spot, but I was so thrilled I couldn’t help myself.”

Rin stood in the background, hair over her eyes, radiating embarrassment.

“This is why we don’t tell you anything mother — this is about her, not you,” interjected Sana.

“Well, be that as it may,” said Rin’s mother, unfazed, “I’m delighted - whenever it happens. You kids have your educations and careers and all that - back in my day we’d have had two kids by your age!”

Tetsu blushed and tried not to scuff the ground with his feet.

“Mother - you had Rin at 38. We’ve heard this story before and we’ve done the math,” Sana huffed.

“Well, you can’t blame an old woman for wanting grandchildren before she’s gone.”

“Rin’s going to be 19 soon - we’re still doing math here; you’re hardly old.”

—

The drive to the train station was significantly less crowded without Rin’s art.

“What are your plans for after high school, Tetsu?”

“I did well enough on my qualification exams, but I think I’d like to take a gap year or two and work - it can’t look bad to have a bit of a resume already started when I finish University.”

“If you're going to be living together, Chiharu and I are happy to help out with accommodations, or whatever.” Rin’s mother said easily, as if it were a foregone conclusion.

“Consider it Rin's dowry until you two get settled in your careers," she said with a smile.

“Mother - you are not selling me off to Tetsu,” said Rin, with more than a hint of irritation.

“My how you’ve grown up - you never used to be so forward! Of course I’m not - it’s just a little joke is all. Anyhow - have you heard back from the art schools you’ve applied to?”

Rin paused. “I haven’t applied to any,” Rin said flatly.

Rin’s mother took a fraction of a second to get her attention back on the road - the car swerved briefly; Tetsu tightened his hand on the door handle.

“You didn’t?” She asked with more concern than Tetsu had thought possible in this family — Rin’s mother’s eyes flickered between Rin, in the rear-view mirror, and the road ahead. Tetsu thought dying with Rin in a car crash terribly romantic, but a bit premature.

“No — when Nomiya-sensei got over being upset that I wasn’t going to do an art show, he decided to shop my portfolio around to art schools instead.. I’ve got three scholarship offers that I need to choose between,” Rin looked down at the car floor to hide her grin so that only Tetsu could see it.

“Rin, are you trying to embarrass your mother - or worse, give her a heart attack?”

“Or make her drive off the road and into traffic?” Tetsu thought, strictly to himself.

“Of course I’m not - it’s just a little joke is all,” said Rin, looking up, still smiling.

—

Rin and Tetsu hugged Rin’s mother goodbye as they boarded the Shinkansen back to Sendai. Once moving, Osaka was far behind them in moments.

“Rin - how do you feel about New Year’s?”

“Feel?”

“Well, did you have a good time, seeing your family?”

“I saw my parents - and Sana. I’ve seen them before.”

Tetsu felt some essential concept was being overlooked here, but lacked the words or experience to articulate what it was.

“Your father told me to tell you that he’s proud of you - that you’ve `done good`, in his words.”

Rin sat silently for a moment, then turned to look out the window at the landscape speeding past. Tetsu thought, in her reflection, he could see a small streak of light reflected from her cheek.

--

[Asoko_Desu]

Victory Lap
January 07 — Monday


After New Year's, not so much time had passed as Rin and Tetsu didn’t have a bit of it to themselves before school started up again on the 7th.

With Emi and Hisao back from making the rounds of visiting Emi and Hisao’s parents over New Year’s, Emi and Rin re-connected at their rooms for the first time in what seemed like the longest they’d been apart since enrolling at school.

“Ok, Rin - let’s get you dressed - how were your holidays?”

“Good — very good” Rin purred.

“Rin - tell me .. what happened?”

Rin just tilted her head and smiled the biggest dopiest smile Emi had ever seen Rin smile.

“Did you and Tetsu do the nasty? You did!”

“No, we didn’t. It wasn’t nasty at all. It was good — I don’t know what that means, how I feel, or even who I am now .. I’m Rin and Tetsu and .. more - maybe a cat. Tetsu says it may have something to do with quantum entanglement .. or something.”

“Rin, you’re babbling”

“I am — but I’m not scared this time. I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“Joyous?”

“If this is what joyous feels like then I’m joyous and ..” she paused and closed her eyes “I feel like the grass does after the rain in July ..” and she smiled, opening her eyes again, but only by half..

“Wet, Rin. You’re feeling wet. And hot. ‘Grass after rain in July’ is a very poetic way of saying you’re horny. Tetsu really is rubbing off on you. Would you like to be alone for a bit?”

“Yes. No. I think .. I think I’d like Tetsu to drop by to say ‘hi’.”

“Ah - ha.” Said Emi; she didn’t know whether to be impressed or bothered by Rin’s utter openness about how she was feeling. This new thing - enthusiasm? - was something Emi hadn’t seen before in Rin.

“How about I tell Nurse that you’ve got a bit of a fever - which isn’t completely a lie - and that you’ll be staying in your room for the day; he’ll write you a note.”

“Nomiya won’t care - he says that even when I’m there I’m not all there anyhow.”

Pause.

“Emi?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think you’ll see Tetsu at lunch today?”

“Very probably. He’ll wonder why you’re not with us.”

“Can you ask him to come and .. check on me?”

“I don’t think I could keep him away.”

Rin smiled.

—

As Emi ran down the hall to lunch, she reflected that Rin never used to share her opinions - about anything - even actively discouraging opining on her art with her superstition about artists and bad luck. “I guess the real Rin was in hiding all this time.”

Emi was quietly happy that Rin hadn’t changed now she had a boyfriend so much as emerged - still, new things presented new challenges.

“If Tetsu hurts her now, I’ll make him wish he’d never been born a boy.”

--

[Asoko_Desu]

Mama Bears
January 07 — Monday

Emi, Hisao, and Tetsu met up for lunch in their accustomed corner of the cafeteria - they’d found having lunch on the roof in January wasn’t really to anyone’s taste; even Tetsu's.

“Hisao, can you give Tetsu and I a moment to talk please?”

“Um - sure? I’ll go eat over there .. “

“No need — Tetsu, let’s take a walk.”

-

“Tetsu, Rin and I talked this morning - I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Rin is crushing very hard on you. You’re playing with the heart of a very vulnerable person - physically and emotionally - I hope you appreciate that. If you hurt her, there won’t be anywhere you can go that I won’t find you. All of Japan won’t be big enough to hide from me in.”

“Also - she wants you to drop by and check in on her; she’s, ah .. not feeling well and she thinks seeing you would make her feel better.”

“Thank you, I think.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

Tetsu pauses to collect his words “I don’t know where this is coming from, but I take Rin’s feelings seriously. `Playing` isn’t a word I’d use in this context. Excuse me - I have something that needs doing.”

Tetsu gathered up his uneaten lunch and left - he felt he needed time and space to process what Emi had said.

-

“What that all about?”

“I think I managed to put the fear of god into him about Rin.”

“Do you think you really needed to? He seems pretty devoted to her.”

“Good — I’m just making sure he stays that way. Fuck with Rin and you get fucked by Emi - and not in the good way. It’s just that simple. Practically speaking, if he breaks her heart there’s no way I’m going to be able to pick up the pieces and put them back together.”

—

The best place to clear out the space between one’s ears was on the track - he and Emi agreed on that at least, so he set to running wind-sprints down the straightaways and slowing to a jog in the curves to catch his breath - then off again at full speed.

Being the middle of the day, even in January, there were people out on the track. Yamaku rarely got snow and if it did, it didn’t last long. As long as the track was clear, people were on it.

“Hey Tets - you’re not usually on the track this time of day; you’re having lunch with the cool kids.”

“You’re the cool one, not me,” Tetsu demurred; Miki just snorted.

“Anyhow, Emi put a bug in my ear and I have to run it out.”

“Hey - hey - slow down a sec; a bug about what?”

“About Rin - how I’m `playing with the heart of a very vulnerable person` and if I `hurt her, there won’t be anywhere I can go that she won’t find me.`”

“What the actual fuck is she going on about?”

“I have no idea - I think she thinks I’m just in it for the sex - I don’t know.”

“Sounds legit - that’s her M.O. so why wouldn’t she think different of anyone else?”

Tetsu teared up — “But I love Rin - I ..” emotions overtook him and brought him to a halt on the track; he buried his face in his sleeve, embarrassed. “I couldn’t hurt her ..”

“This is none of her fucking business - I’m going to fuck her up bad if she thinks she can swan in and try to mess with my man Tetsu ..”

“But isn’t it her business? She’s Rin’s closest friend - until I came along, her only friend. And until Hisao - Rin was Emi’s only friend.”

“I’d say you’re closer to Rin now than Emi ever was - much. Maybe she’s jealous?”

“I have no idea. I - I just don’t know what to do, what to say to Rin. Does Rin have doubts that she’s telling Emi, but not sharing with me? I don’t understand ..”

“I’m so going to fuck her up.”

“Please, please don’t - that won’t help and it’ll make Rin very unhappy, so - just don’t, OK?”

“You’re a bad influence on me.. Fine. This once — but if I find she’s been a dipshit again I’ll kill that bug up her ass with her own running blades.”


--

[Asoko_Desu]

Good Home Cooking
February 08 — Friday


Emi cornered Tetsu in his dorm room —


“Yo - Iron Man - plans for this weekend?

“Same old - school work, hang out with Rin, come up for air, repeat,” Tetsu said innocently.

“Ah-hem. Glad you don’t have any real plans - you’re going to come meet my mom - you came up when Rin was over last and mom wants to see if you pass the sniff test.”

Tetsu facepalmed.

“I think I’ve already passed the ‘freshness’ test with the Tezukas.”

“Yes, and I’ve met them — kind - even sweet in their own monkish way - but not the most perceptive bunch.”

“How did you get on with Sana?”

“The Wicked Witch of the East you mean? Apparently I’m riding Rin’s coat-tails to fame. Anyhow, I’m being overly arch; you’re important to Rin, and she talks about you. Mom just wants to meet you is all, so you and Rin are coming to dinner. Bring an appetite - mom cooks a lot.”

—

Rin and Tetsu met Emi at the bus stop —

“No Hisao?” asked Rin.

“No Hisao. We’re having a .. time out.”

“You’ve broken up again,” Rin opined.

“Not officially — we’re .. just having a time-out.”

“Does Hisao know it’s temporary?” asked Tetsu.

“He better — or we are broken up for reals.”

Tetsu reflected that the neurotypical oscillated between two distinct states of magic realism - first they expected you to be able to read their minds, then they expected their thoughts to be absolutely inscrutable - utter madness.

“What did he do this time?”

“He knows.”

Tetsu mentally facepalmed.

“But this time it hurts you as much as it hurts him ..” Rin interjected

“.. after all, you can’t make me your snugglebunny any more; since I’m with Tetsu you have to ask him first.”

“Snugglebunny??”

“Before Emi met Hisao, she used to put bunny ears on me and make me hop around her room and then she’d ..”

“On no you don’t Rin - you promised you wouldn’t tell!”

“So I did,” said Rin, enigmatically - her eyes half-lidded. “None the less - my point stands.”

Tetsu raised an eyebrow as if to say “We’ll talk about this later,” while Emi stared daggers at him.

—

“Hi Mom!”

“Hi Mom!”

“Nice to meet you Ibarazaki-sama”

“Someone tell Tetsu we’re not so formal here. The girls are over so often they call me mom - but you can call me Meiko.”

—

After a very filling - and very good - dinner, and helping Meiko clean up, the girls and Tetsu decamped to the living room to chat.

“Not you.”

“Me?”

“Nope - girl talk time — go chat with Mom.”

Tetsu looked to Rin for support, but all she did was shrug as if to say “Emi’s house - Emi’s rules.”

-

“Girls kick you out of the living room?”

“Girl talk.”

“Ah. That’s Emi’s way of saying she wants to talk to Rin about something she’s not comfortable sharing with everyone. Can I get you some tea?”

“That would be nice, thanks.” Tetsu sat quietly while Meiko made tea - conversation wasn’t his strong point at the best of times; he really knew nothing about her, and preferred not to start a conversation by talking about himself. Other than their both knowing Rin, he felt there wasn’t a lot of material to work with.

“Emi certainly got the pretty one,” thought Meiko as she whisked the tea powder into the hot water. “Not that Tetsu isn’t handsome-ish — he’s just going to take a couple of decades to grow into his looks. In the meantime, he looks like he’d be handy if some furniture needs moving.”

“How did you meet Rin?”

“At school - I guess that’s obvious. I helped her out painting her mural and we .. just sort of got caught up in each other’s orbits.”

“Emi tells me you met Rin before you met her.” It wasn’t phrased as a question.

“Emi and I have different class schedules. Until Rin invited me to lunch with her and Emi and Hisao I hadn’t really met either. Now we four have lunch together pretty regularly.”

“That must be nice - do you have many other friends at Yamaku?”

“Just Miura - you may know her; she’s on the track team with Emi. I lift weights with her in the mornings.”

“Which explains the judoka body-type,” Meiko thought. “Do you get on well with her?”

“I’d say so - she was the first person I met at Yamaku who’d give me the time of day, so I’d call that `well`.”

“I wish this wasn’t sounding so much like an interrogation,” Meiko thought, “but this boy is a very closed book.”

“Here’s your tea.” Tetsu thanked Meiko and sipped at it, letting it cool.

“Is there anything I can tell you about myself or Emi? Are you curious how she lost her legs?”

Tetsu blanched - he had absolutely no desire to talk to a friend’s parent about something so sensitive.

“I’m sure she’ll bring it up when she’s ready.” If Tetsu’s mother had taught him anything, it’s to not ask questions you don’t already know the answer to.

“The tea is very good - thank you.”

Meiko was growing increasingly frustrated — Rin was something of an enigma to her, and, despite manners, she was deathly curious about what kind of boy Rin would be attracted to. “Evidently the enigmatic kind,” she thought, ruefully.

“Your accent - you don’t sound like you’re from Japan. Tell me about you home.”

“I don’t talk about home much.”

“Why not?”

“I may have to go back one day - I’m trying to forget that fact.”

“Why?”

“My mother.”

Meiko was a good parent; one who had listened to their child sobbing over loss no child should have to endure.

More, she knew how to recognize the often unreal, almost crystalline trauma the young are sometimes forced to shoulder. “It’s not fair - to either of us - neither of us have any frame of reference, but it’s my job to help her through it; I’m the one with life experience.” Thought Meiko when Emi had lost her father and her legs.

She could feel they - she and Tetsu - were walking around one of those jagged, intrusive shards of pain right now - not, perhaps, as traumatic as Emi’s or her own, but everyone’s worst trauma is, just by being that, the same as everyone else’s in a sense - the worst of their traumas. "And it’s not a competition anyhow," Meiko reminded herself.

“I’ve found the door into his personality I was looking for — do I see if the door will open a little bit and risk it opening in a rush, with all the messy emotions that come with it, or do I just keep things polite and Japanese and offer him more tea?”

Making her decision, she asked — “Why don’t you tell me only the good things you remember about your mother?”

Tetsu paused and swallowed ..

“I wish I could — and still remain a polite guest. Maybe when I can call you mom, I can tell you about my Mother.”

“What a smooth deflection — he obviously has a lot of practice keeping a solid lid on his emotions - ‘Iron Ocean’ indeed.”

—

Emi and Rin’s chat over, there was just time to catch the last bus to Yamaku.

“Bye bye Meiko - thank you for everything!”

“Bye Mom!” both Emi and Rin said in unison.”

Meiko never said ‘travel safely’, not after what had happened, but said she hoped to see them all again soon.


“Tetsu? A moment? Girls, he’ll catch up to you.”



“Mrs. Ibarazaki?”

“Meiko, remember.”



“Sorry - Meiko. What’s up?”

Meiko handed him a small envelope of good quality, heavy paper.



“Open this when you’re back at school. And alone. You can tell Rin or Emi about it if you want - or not, but wait until you’ve opened and read it first before you decide you want to do.”

“OK - thank you, I think.”

“Thank you is appropriate right now, regardless of what’s in the envelope - and remember, it’s the spirit that counts.”

—

Later, back at school — 


“Emi, can you help Rin with washing up for bed? I’ve got something I need to do in my room. I’ll catch up with you two for lunch tomorrow?”

“OK - night Tetsu!” Tetsu gave Emi a hug and Rin a hug and peck on the head and went to his dorm.

Back in his room he removed the envelope from the pocket inside his book-bag where he’d stored it for safe-keeping. He opened it, and inside were five words:

“You can call me mom.”


--

[Asoko_Desu]

There’s a Trick To It
February 10 — Sunday


“Haven’t seen you much lately - spending your time in Tetsu’s room?” Asked Emi.

Rin nodded - “It doesn’t feel like I’m home unless I’m sleeping in his room, and my room’s pretty much been taken over as art storage now anyhow.”

“You haven’t needed any help with your .. personal care? Tetsu’s good with that?”

“You mean like brushing my teeth - and stuff? He was a little .. it took him a bit to get used to it, but he just said ‘If I’m going to love you, I’m going to love all of you’, and got down to business. Now he’s almost as good as you at it.”

“Almost.”

“Of course.”

“To bad it probably won’t last,” Rin said resignedly.

“Rin! For shame! What brought that on?”

“I mean it - he’s too .. I don’t know. He talks to me - and he listens. He takes care of me, and he cares. Shouldn’t it be harder, somehow? Shouldn’t we have to struggle more to make the relationship work? Is he too good for me? It’s just too .. easy to be in a relationship with him.”

“Like hell it’s easy - have you forgotten how hard you worked at practicing how to talk to boys? How worried you were that you’d scare him off? How you got Shiina to tutor you in sign language? You even started lifting weights with Miki - easy, sure - like licking a tiger’s ass is easy.”

Rin looked sideways at Emi - it was all true, but now she felt the challenge was over and said so.

“But now - everything’s going so well.”

“As it should - you’ve earned this.”

Rin heard the truth in Emi’s words and, despite her misgivings, smiled.

“Truth is,” Emi continued - “All I know is how to get into relationships, get laid, have hysterical screaming fights, break up, then have make-up sex - that’s as far as I’ve gone. If you want advice on how to make a relationship work, you need to talk to someone who’s done that.”

“Thanks .. you’re right - I will.”

--



[Asoko_Desu]

A Digression
February 11 — Monday


Hisao sat with Emi - not apart, but not as close as they usually did. There appeared to be an emotional distance between them that was reflected in their physical proximity. None the less, they were together - it appeared that they’d patched up whatever disagreement they’d had, Tetsu speculated, wondering if that had been the topic of the Super Secret Girls’ Chat that Emi and Rin had at Emi’s mother’s house. Tetsu chewed his lunch thoughtfully; the words "There's a city in my mind - Come along and take that ride” came to him unbidden, as scraps of songs often did on what he called his internal radio station.

Hisao observed the highly physical nature of the communication between Rin and Tetsu - a touch, a look, a nudge all could mean something so simple or complex as `pass me a drink`, `feed me`, `I need to untangle myself from you`, or `it’s time to go`. They seemed to act as one person at times, they communicated so seamlessly.

And yet, for someone obviously so able to communicate .. Tetsu had few other friends, despite trying. Hisao found himself in an unusually philosophical mood as he reflected.

“The set of his face probably has something to do with it - I’ve heard people talk and they think he’s always angry. Should I bring it up with him? Probably a bad idea if he actually is angry - he wouldn’t appreciate having it pointed out. Maybe Emi would know, but we have our own problems to discuss. Still, he’s gentle with Rin, despite looking like an ogre ..”

-

Lunch over, Emi and Hisao cleaned up their mess and Tetsu cleaned up after himself and Rin.

“Tetsu, a word if you have time ..” Tetsu nodded curtly; the girls waved goodbye in their fashion and headed off to class.

“Tetsu .. is everything ok?”


“I think so?”

“It’s just that .. you always look angry.”


“I do?”

“Yeah - you’re always scowling.”

“Huh. I’m always thinking .. is that it?”

“Maybe? What happens if you try not thinking so much?”

“First time for everything.” Tetsu shrugged.

“Well - just a thought. You’re big so some people might find you ..”

Tetsu raised an eyebrow as if to say “.. ?”

“Like that .. almost threatening.”

“Oh. Should I try smiling more?”

Hisao had seen Tetsu smile — it had raised the hairs on the back of Hisao’s neck.

“Maybe work up to it - maybe just try frowning less.”

“Ah. OK - thanks.”

Then there was the problem of Tetsu’s emotions - he had, probably, no more than anyone else, but he showed them easily, hence his nickname `The Sad Oni`.

“I am so not bringing that up with him,” thought Hisao, fingering the scar under his shirt unconsciously.

—

Hisao got back to his dorm room and changed into casual clothes - he had a break and didn’t feel like hanging about his room doing homework in his uniform. He looked in the mirror — “What makes a face friendly?” he wondered. Misha had called him `Hicchan` like the students at his old school had done.

“Why not Hisao-kun? Do I really look that much like a girl?”

Nobody would think to call Tetsu `Te-chan`; “Feminine” would be amongst the last adjectives anyone would ever apply to Tetsu. Hisao snickered at the thought - anyone doing that would probably get punched for their trouble, Hisao speculated without anything, really, to back up the opinion.


--