Page 9 of 10

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/10]

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 9:53 am
by YourFavAnon
Katamari Taromacy (Quick Story #2 - Approx. 10 minutes spent writing)


My eyes peel open, the crust of the greatest slumber of my life wearing off.

No, I'm not kidding.

I just slept incredibly. There is truly no other way to describe it than that. In a good mood, I roll out of bed and pop open all of my pills, performing my morning rituals and preparing for another day of classes.

Slipping into my Yamaku uniform, stretching my arms for a brief moment afterward, I stroll out of my room and into the hallway, making sure the coast is clear of any unexpected... guests, I guess I'll say, this morning.

With a sigh of relief at the sound of horrid snoring coming from across the hall, I head out into the hall, pondering on some possible events for the day.

It's getting later in the school year, and at this point Hanako and myself have been dating for a good while now. She actually invited me over to her room today to play some video games, specifically a used game she had picked up for her Playstation 2.

I remember talking to her about it.

“H-Hisao, would you l-like to come over and play some games after c-class tomorrow?”

“I don't see why not. After all, any time spent with you is a gift!”

“O-Oh... w-well, I went into t-town yesterday and b-bought this game. It's c-called 'Katamari Damacy', and y-you get to roll this ball around and pick a bunch of things up! I-It may sound really d-dumb, but it's not!”

“I've played it before, Hanako. I love it! I'll be over after classes let out tomorrow.”

I smile as I remember the simple kiss on the lips and the lingering hug between the two of us before we went into our opposite dorms for the night.

God damn, do I ever love me some Katamari Damacy.

In fact, I can hear the tune in my head right now.

I head down to the commons area of the boys dorm, about to head out the doors and into the main area of campus.

...Suddenly, the tune is louder.

La, La La La La La La Laaaa, La La La, Lala Laaaaa!

It sounds almost as if, it's getting... closer?

In a moment of pure confusion, as well as the sound of things breaking and crashing around behind me, I slowly turn my head and peek over my shoulder, curious to see if my mind is just playing tricks on me.

I'm met, in pure horror, of a fairly heavy set student – a kid named Taro, I believe – rolling down the corridor of the boys dorm.

He can't stop.

And things appear to be getting stuck to him and making a huge ball around him.

The theme song gets even louder as he gets closer, chairs and microwaves from the commons getting stuck right to his form as he rolls at a high speed towards me and the doors.

I sprint out of the doors, nearly screaming for dear life as he bursts through the wall behind me, picking up broken structural pieces and now even trees straight out of the ground.

I continue to sprint away from him, but it appears to be a lost cause as he continues to gain speed.

“Taro, get the fuck away from me, man!” I yell at him as he continues to gain ground on me.

“Dude, I can't control this shit! Don't blame me! This is what my disability is: Katamari Syndrome!”

And they really let someone with something this... insanely unrealistic and not probable attend this fucking school?

I finally meet my demise as I trip on a crack in the sidewalk, the giant ball of debris and screaming students looming over me.

And just like that, I'm a part of the moving ball of death.

La, La La La La La La Laaaa, La La La, Lala Laaaaa!


(Theme song for reference:

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/9]

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 1:09 pm
by Kyvos
Yes. Katamari is terrifying. It's like Kirby. Everything is so cheery, but it's really the end of all things.
MOAR pls

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Halloween Special 10/26]

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:15 am
by Mirage_GSM
YourFavAnon wrote:Yeah... Just take the title as a warning.

The End Isn't What You'll Be Expecting

...

“Surprise, Mister Nakai! It's a castration!”
Sorry to disappoint you, but that was totally what I was expecting.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Halloween Special 10/26]

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:37 am
by YourFavAnon
Mirage_GSM wrote:
YourFavAnon wrote:Yeah... Just take the title as a warning.

The End Isn't What You'll Be Expecting

...

“Surprise, Mister Nakai! It's a castration!”
Sorry to disappoint you, but that was totally what I was expecting.
Heh, I led it on far too much. Couldn't think of any other title, though. Was just challenging myself to write something fast, and that's how it ended up.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/9]

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:51 pm
by YourFavAnon
Going to be writing a couple of successive pieces that really won't deserve their own thread, so they'll be posted here. General idea is Hanako and Hisao taking a trip to the city and staying with his parents, so it should be good fun to write.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Part One



I breathe out heavily as I flop down into the sofa behind me, closing my eyes for a brief moment. Taking a minute off is something that I haven't been able to do all day, so I think it's fair enough that I sit back and take a look at what I've done today.

My eyes crack open, a smile spanning across my face.

Hisao should be quite happy about what he sees when he gets home from work here in the next couple of minutes.

Rather, he has all the reasons to be happy, anyways.

A nice, already prepared dinner waiting for him in the kitchen, a reorganized bedroom, our small living room having some freshly painted yellow walls – that's the product of doing multiple things at the same time on a ten hour time restraint.

I arrived just a little over a week ago on a train, my minimal belongings in tow, and moved in with him. Today is the first day since I've gotten here that I haven't looked for a job somewhere – the possibility of an interior designer not being a 'hot commodity' at the moment seems quite possible.

Hisao was so surprised when I called him right before starting my third year and telling him what I had declared as my major.

Lilly was pretty shocked as well.

I guess I really just don't fit the bill on looks or whatever else a somewhat artistic person needs.

I grin.

Then again, I'm really not like all of the other interior designers back at school. The girls and guys that shared my classes were mostly upscale people who would have no time with connections in the industry. For me, well...

Let's just say I didn't really fit in with them.

I reach my hand up and rub it along the length of my scarred arm, frowning at some really awful memories of my university days.

There was more than enough times that I wouldn't go to class because of people staring at me, or even making fun of me.

It definitely wasn't as bad as my high school days, especially my level of panic, but it certainly happened. I learned to tolerate the off hand comments as much as a could, and I did sometimes.

Others times, though...

They really just ended up with me hiding in my room for a day.

I can't say I would go and cry or anything. While I still have those terrible moments, I get more disappointed, I guess would be the right word, in myself than anything else.

I get disappointed that I'm a burn victim.

I still act as if everything that happened back then was my fault...

My downward spiral into depression is cut off by the sound of keys turning in the front door. Around the corner in the hallway, I can hear a bag being tossed on the floor and a coat being hung up, so I get up to go meet the love of my life.

Standing up, I brush off my work apron as best as I can – the appearance being caked in ingredients from cooking and paint – and walk over to the hallway.

There stands Hisao, of course, his eyes appearing tired and stressed from a full day of work. It's certainly understandable that he would be tired, anyways; he's only been working in the field now for three weeks.

I smile lightly and walk up to him, wrapping my arms around him in the process.

I look up at him as he returns the favor, stroking the back of my head and tucking some strands of hair behind my ears, leaving my face fully exposed.

I can feel my cheeks burning up, my eyes casting downward out of embarrassment.

He lets out a little giggle, poking me in the stomach and making me squirm a bit.

“I've told you plenty of times how I feel about you hiding from me. How's my angel doing, anyways?” I smile sheepishly at his compliment, my eyes finally connecting with his again. He actually backs off for a moment and looks me up and down, noticing my soiled apron and clothing.

“Actually, let me rephrase that question: what has my angel been doing today?”

“O-Oh you know, just... painting and cooking a-and... stuff.” I giggle a bit at the end, moving towards him and pushing up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss. He happily meets my request and presses his lips to mine, a brief yet powerful action.

He smiles brightly at me, his white teeth practically shining in the light of the apartment.

“Well, are you going to give me a little tour of what you've done, then?”

I nod my head with a proud expression across my face, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward into the living room. He looks around in amazement at the reorganized and freshly painted room, the spacious area having added a couple of more decorations that I went and purchased down the road earlier in the day.

I turn my body to face him, his mouth practically hanging down to the ground.

“You didn't have to do this, Hanako. We could have made this into a little thing we did this weekend...” He frowns in a teasing manner, as if a bit disappointed that I left him out of the minor project.

I look at my feet, a bit saddened by his remarks.

“I-I'm sorry, I just thought that m-maybe we could just... you know, t-take the weekend off. S-Stress free and everything.” He takes my chin in between his thumb and index finger, pushing it upwards so that I can look into his eyes once more.

“Always thinking ahead. I'd have to say that's one of your finest attributes.” He gives me another quick peck on the lips, a smile being shared between the two of us. I close my eyes for a moment to savor his taste, before he once again pokes me and takes me out of my dream world.

“Thank you. The room looks fantastic.” I smile widely, my heart beating at a wild pace at the sensation of his approval.

“I-I mean, it's not entirely finished, I h-have to touch some spots up... b-but I'm glad you l-like it, Hisao.” He walks over and flops down into the comfort of our sofa, propping his legs up on the reclining part.

He pats the empty space beside him as I untie my apron and toss it off into the kitchen, more than happy to oblige with his request.

I sit beside him and rest my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes as my world is filled with happiness. He strokes the back of my head with his hand, treating me like something of the highest value in the world.

He clears his throat and I open my eyes, picking my head up and looking at him with curiosity.

“I think we should take a vacation this weekend.” He makes the little announcement short and sweet, grinning at me and snuggling himself into my side.

“What did you have i-in mind?” My stutter still can still be annoying beyond belief. It's something that I thought maybe would fade away with gained confidence but...

I guess it's just something that will stick around forever, unfortunately.

He presses a finger to his cheek, looking up in a goofy way while pondering the possibilities for our small vacation. Suddenly, a light seems to flick on in his head as his eyes widen, a big grin forming on his face.

“How about we pay a visit to my parents? We could take a train and stay there, then spend some time in the city.”

I giggle profusely as the idea. My personal ideas as to what he had in mind were far different than that.

He frowns.

“What's so funny?”

I smile at him.

“I w-was expecting you to say the beach.” He raises and eyebrow at me, squinting because of his minor confusion.

“And why would that be?”

I have to hold back laughter, knowing how where his mind is during our beach trips.

“Because you l-love seeing me in a swimsuit. Not to mention, we a-always end up having... y-you know what, while we're there.”

His face burns crimson in color, his hand reaching back and rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away from me.

“So what, are you trying to say I'm just some guy looking for sex?”

I shake my head from side to side, my arms wrapping around him as I cuddle up into his side.

“N-No, silly. I'm just saying you love doing d-dirty things with me at the beach. I-I'm glad you decided on a d-different location for our trip this time.”

A teasing grin spans across is face.

“And what makes you think I won't be up for doing 'dirty things' while we're in the city?” I stand up and push my lower lip out at him, pouting at his response.

“Y-You're a jerk...”

He stands up and wraps his arms around me tightly, my little act of frustration obviously not working anymore.

I squint my eyes at him to show my fake anger as he rustles my hair, showing off his playful attitude like he always does.

“But I'm your jerk, am I not?”

“Oh, s-shut up!” I push him away with a giggle, and he responds with a laugh of his own. I think for a moment as he pulls out his phone and begins to scroll through his contacts to find his father's phone number, a sudden realization popping into my head.

“I forgot to m-mention that I made you dinner...” I twist my mouth a bit in frustration as he leans in and kisses me on the cheek, heading into the kitchen ahead of me.

“I love you. By the way, we're leaving tomorrow morning, because I'm just going to take the day off of work. So pack your bag tonight.” He calls out with a mouth full of a cookie that I had made for dessert.

A huge smile forms across my face as I walk into the kitchen, preparing my mind for a weekend of enjoyment that will be here soon enough.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/17]

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:29 pm
by Brogurt
Do you ever stay in the threads for more than, like, half an hour after posting?

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/17]

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 9:35 pm
by YourFavAnon
Brogurt wrote:Do you ever stay in the threads for more than, like, half an hour after posting?
Couldn't today, had work. But yes, I actually do, just normally switch back to anonymous.

In response to the critique though, couple of things:

I wasn't referencing the two having sex ON the beach, just while they were there. i.e hotel room. That being said, the beach I was thinking of was more private than public, probably because I'm one of those people who will basically never set foot on a public beach, but that's just me I guess. So, the amount of people there would be greatly reduced. As for the knight in shining armor etc part, it's just because I was trying to emphasize that he is really one of the only people she's comfortable around. She's not as jumpy or anxious as she was prior to her university days and stuff, but I she still gets some nervous fits in dense crowds and stuff like that.

The characterization may have been shit, I don't really know. I wrote the idea right when I woke up today, so it probably is a bit suspect. Then again, I'm not a good writer, so I don't see why bad dialogue and characterization are too much of a big deal.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/17]

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:37 am
by Brogurt
YourFavAnon wrote:Then again, I'm not a good writer, so I don't see why bad dialogue and characterization are too much of a big deal.
Why you gotta be such a bitch

If you don't have any respect for yourself or your writing, then nobody else will. Which is a shame, since they should. If you've been paying attention then you'd know you have Fluff'n'Puff's support. And if you can use your powers of inference you might realize that I wouldn't give a shit about any of this if I thought that it was fundamentally bad.

I think there was something else I was going to say but I lost my train of thought after watching 5 hours of video game characters wrestling. So, like, don't be surprised if I suddenly remember and post another response to this thread at 4am.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/17]

Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:00 pm
by YourFavAnon
Just an FYI: if you've never played League of Legends, you will not understand this story in the slightest.

Have You Seen My Bear Tibbers, Hisao?


I grin widely as the word 'victory' sprawls across the center of my screen, leaving me with a button to exit the game that I just so happened to have dominated in.

I lean back in my computer chair, folding my hands behind the back of my head and looking back upon the match, my mind going all the way back to the beginning.

Champion select left me playing Vladimir, a simple mid lane game obviously headed in my general direction, and was ready as can be as we all summoned into the match.

I giggle like an idiot as I dream once again of spamming my Q ability and dropping my W to avoid various ganks and ults, leaving the other team practically at a loss for tactics to counter my rampage of kills.

The kill counter just kept going up.

1.

5.

12.

18.

26.

That's right. Twenty-six kills, zero deaths and eight assists.

Triple kills, a quadra kill, even a penta kill were no short on usage in the game.

My screen still sits at the final victory message, a feeling of satisfaction that has never ceased to amaze me. Winning in such dominating fashion leaves me wanting more, but just as I get ready to return to the lobby and head into my next queue, a couple of gentle taps sound out from my dorm room door.

I smile.

“Come in, Hanako.”

I had promised her that we would hang out today, mainly because our exams had just finished up and we had spent minimal time together over the testing window. I spent a little bit of time playing League of Legends over that time, of course, but my focus was mainly on my studies.

The knob of the door twists and it pushes open, leaving me with the fine view of the girl that has managed to capture my heart.

She always looks so good in her school uniform. I don't know what it is about it, but that shy, schoolgirl oriented look has always been a major... 'thing', I guess you could say, for me.

She's just adorable as it is, but I think that's a given.

She shuffles into the space, leaving her bag on my bed as she flops down on the edge takes a comfortable glance into my eyes.

“H-Hi.”

I grin simply at her light smile she gives me, her usual reserved self slightly fading away in my company.

“Hello there.” I move my mouse on my computer and return to the lobby of my game, leaving the window up as Hanako looks over my shoulder at my screen.

“O-Oh, is this a n-new game that you play?”

“I've actually played it for a really long time.” She seems pretty interested as I go into the champions tab of my profile, contemplating over who I'll play in my next game. Her eyes read through lore and stats, hovering over the art and beauty of various the various characters.

She nervously rubs her hands together, looking away from me.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

“What's up?”

She stops her hands for a moment, looking at me with a light shade of crimson appearing on her cheeks.

“D...Do you think I could play? I r-really like v-video games...” She trails off, obviously – but very unreasonably – embarrassed by her simple request.

I smile and remove myself from my seat, patting down into the chair as I head over into the corner of my room to retrieve an item to sit on. I plop down beside my desk chair as she cautiously takes her place in it, taking a quick peek over some of the lore of the various options that she can choose from while playing.

I help her get into a solo queue, and nearly within an instant, a match is found, hurling her into the unorganized chaos of a solo queue champion select. I explain to her the roles of different lanes and champions as she mouses over a bunch quickly.

Surprisingly, something catches her interest nearly at the same time as I conclude my brief explanation, the sound of a little girl emanating from my speakers.

“You wanna play too? It'll be fun!”

I nearly cringe at her selection as the game launches into the loading screen. Not because it's a bad pick, because it really isn't, and certainly not because she's very difficult to play. But..

Much rather, she chose Annie. A little girl who uses a wide range of fire based, ability power oriented skills, on top of having an ultimate skill that turns her stuffed teddy bear into a real, live and destructive force.

I gulp a bit as her eyes shine at the little girls outfit on the screen, a rather unusual smirk spanning across her face.

The game gets off to a fast start as I help her along in her build, starting her off with the usual boots and three health potions as she heads to mid. I try to help her successfully farm minions with her Q ability, which she grasps extremely well for a beginner.

As the lane progresses though, she seems to get slightly more hostile towards my help and suggestions, making me sit back and just zip my mouth shut. She eventually pushes hard against Twisted Fate and lands first kill, a loud yes and fist pump jumping out of her chest.

I nearly fall of my seat at the sound, the excitement nearly scaring me senseless.

This is rather unusual for her.

I really, REALLY hope I'm not making a mistake by letting her play this game.

She slowly begins to dominate mid, shrugging off a gank from the other teams Amumu and scoring a double kill with a powerful bear stun.

Now I'm starting to feel a bit concerned.

She starts, saying the very least, to laugh like a maniac, heading back to base and grabbing the next steps in the build that I had suggested to her at the beginning.

I keep my mouth zipped close as she heads for a gank bottom with the opposing mid tower destroyed, dropping a bear stun and absolutely shattering the will of the other team as she scores her second double of the game.

That's five kills and zero deaths.

For a beginner.

Even more frightening, her insane sound laugh once brings some major concern to my head as I stand up from my bed and pretend to rearrange some things behind her, concerned at her current state of mind.

Suddenly, more words blare out of my speakers.

“Triple kill!”

She yells and laughs like she belongs in an asylum.

The rest of the game continues to spiral downhill, yells and laughs galore as she ravages through the enemy team composition.

My eyes close for a minute at the fear of her state of mind.

Fire flying everywhere.

A bear, tragically mauling an innocent pairing of Draven and Lux.

The images flash through my eyes like a nightmare, only made worse by the constant source of evil that rests in the chair in front of me.

I finally clear my throat, speaking out a bit.

“Uh, H-Hanako... do you think I could maybe, I don't know-” I stop abruptly as she pauses her clicking, her muscles seemingly tensing up at the sound of another voice.

She cocks her head nearly 180 degrees on her neck, wide eyes and a wide grin of pure insanity meeting my gaze.

I look at her in horror as she stares without a single blink.

“Have you seen my bear Tibbers, Hisao?”

I shake a bit and try to laugh it off, horrified as to what has demonized the mind of my girlfriend.

Without a peep out of me, other than a few uncomfortable breaths and muttering of half finished words, she spins back around and completes her game with a quadra kill, shattering the enemies defenses and blowing their nexus to pieces.

She finally relaxes back into a state that seems normal, closing out of the game and sitting by my side on the edge of my bed. I continue to look straight forward, stunned at the terrifying scene that just ended before my own eyes.

Eighteen and zero.

That was her score on her first game ever.

I turn to her and just continue to stare in disbelief, her eyes downcast and her cheeks burning bright red in color.

She stammers a bit before settling on a very shy response to her actions.

“I-I-I'm s-sorry that you h-h-had to see t-that...”

I shake my head for a moment, attempting to clear my vision of what I just witnessed.

“I think I can manage to get over it. Let's just, uh, not... you know, play League of Legends for a while... or something...”

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 11:55 pm
by griffon8
Well, not knowing the game I looked it up. I understood enough to enjoy the story.

It's easy to ignore the fact that the game didn't exist until two years after the events of KS.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:05 am
by Silentcook
I find it somewhat harder to ignore that you have to learn part of a game's jargon to get the finer details, and that it's an intentional move by the author, as stated in the header...

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:03 pm
by YourFavAnon
Silentcook wrote:I find it somewhat harder to ignore that you have to learn part of a game's jargon to get the finer details, and that it's an intentional move by the author, as stated in the header...
I'm sorry for writing something that I enjoy, Master Silentcook. Since it appears having fun and writing something as a hobby rather than taking it one hundred percent serious is against the rules, maybe I'll just disappear. You appear to be the almighty lord of this realm.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:27 pm
by JTemby
Silentcook wrote:I find it somewhat harder to ignore that you have to learn part of a game's jargon to get the finer details, and that it's an intentional move by the author, as stated in the header...
What you need to keep in mind however, is that the author himself added a disclosure that basically said "If you haven't played this game, then you're probably not the target audience" making your comment somewhat redundant.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:17 am
by Silentcook
Guys, I am trying very hard to not be a dick here and probably failing anyway, but the point is that the further away you are from KS, the less you have to do with these forums. That has nothing to do with writing for enjoyment vs. writing seriously (and what's the given value of "seriously" in any case?) or with adding disclosures.

Apologies for commenting. Let's just move on.

Re: YourFavAnon's Various Fictions [Update 11/28]

Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:19 pm
by YourFavAnon
Just an FYI: I'm not dead. Will get back to writing a few one-shots soon, currently writing something KS related with another author in the community that we can hopefully share soon.