Mendācium (Hanako) - Version 1.1.1

[unimportant]

It's grief.

When someone experiences intense emotional trauma and pain, like say, if your parents die, or your girlfriend cheats on you, then it's totally reasonable to run through WHY it happened and various what-if scenarios. What if I had done something differently? What if I had done X or Y? Then maybe this all could have been avoided. Hanako did the same thing with her parents. No, this isn't rational. But it's a totally reasonable reaction.

[Mealforthree]

>giving a shit about colours

Besides, I was merely hyperbolising. It just seems that his train of thought is transporting copious amounts of bullshit - I helped her out of her shell thus it's my fault she's a whore. There are retards who actually think that that is a viable assumption but once a character subjects themselves to such stupid contemplation, I start looking at them like at kids from special education classes.

reasonable

Lolno
____
Oh, and - as I am entitled to my opinion, I was hoping that he would man the fuck up and be utterly disgusted by the thought of having sex then (in addition, such deep pondering and he still manages to keep his willy steely) and ultimately kick her ass out. Yet I am quite interested as to what direction our master of retertion Hisao will find himself strolling towards in this dysfunctional relationship.

[BlackRockHanako]

You ask for opinions, then completely disregard everything said and get defensive...

[Mahorfeus]

You ask for opinions, then completely disregard everything said and get defensive...

What else is he supposed to do with them? Integrate them all like a braindead monkey?

Kidding aside, he never said what he would do with said opinions.

[Mealforthree]

You ask for opinions, then completely disregard everything said and get defensive...

Well, dear Sir, I myself did not find Brogurt's responses defensive.

[Brogurt]

You ask for opinions, then completely disregard everything said and get defensive...

>implying every post deserves a response
>implying I'm not trying to explain hisao's reasoning to the dissenters
I know it's not a good thing if I have to do this sort of thing outside of the prose, but hell if I'm not going to anyway

Besides, I was merely hyperbolising. It just seems that his train of thought is transporting copious amounts of bullshit - I helped her out of her shell thus it's my fault she's a whore.

The point is that he was just the right enabler to help her out of her shell and still not be good enough for her, since he wasn't really a full person in her eyes once she saw the opportunities that opened up for her. And I think whore isn't at all what he thinks of her as, but rather as someone that has poor self esteem and went looking in the wrong places to boost it because of his inadequacy (and please understand that inadequacy is referring to more than just the sex between them.

[BlackRockHanako]

You ask for opinions, then completely disregard everything said and get defensive...

Well, dear Sir, I myself did not find Brogurt's responses defensive.

>implying I care
>implying this isnt a great way to get a point across
>implying you implied any of this

[lolawesome]

I wonder if Hanako wanting Hisao to not use protection is foreshadowing

[Roamin12]

Huh, I didn't get mad at Hanako, and I wasn't even surprised...this is, odd...
But it is well written, I will definitely give you that, and the music system is pretty cool too.

[Mealforthree]

I wonder if Hanako wanting Hisao to not use protection is foreshadowing

That reminds me. If I were Hisao and she told me that she was still on the pill, I would've immediately politely excused myself and left. I just what the hell man why have you no integrity god damn it hisao you spineless cuntturdsmith

[Mahorfeus]

I would be less worried about getting her pregnant and more worried about getting Tenshi's firecrotch.

Just sayin'.

[lolawesome]

I'm thinking more along the line of she's already pregnant

[nemz]

And for the record, it was months, not years, and he had been pushing her to be more social, but not to that extent. If he told her to go outside and get the mail when she got hit by a truck or whatever your analogy is, I think he'd have plenty of reason to feel guilt.

I'm sorry, but that's just stupid. Would he also take credit for saving her if she was outside when the random truck plowed through the house? What if something happened to to her that had nothing at all to do with going to get the mail, but somehow his asking her about it changed the timing of her actions such that she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Responsibility ends at the limits of what is reasonably predictable and/or intended. Sometimes shit just happens.

Sadly, this is also fairly representative of how illogically people think. For this reason I find it actually quite good in the story, even though it's frustrating as hell to read.

That said, take a step back from the metaphor because it's inherently flawed. This isn't about what Hisao says, does or wants... it's about what Hanako says, does, or wants. Trying to take the blame for her lying and cheating (NOT the rape... that's Tenshi's fault) is treating her like a pawn on the board rather than a player in her own right. Her choices are her own, and the victory or defeat that comes of those choices is hers as well. Hisao isn't helping at all; in fact he's robbing her of agency, of the right to accept the full responsibility for and learn from her colossal fuck-up.

You might say that the sex was a union in more than one sense of the word.

I think it's more honest to say they were killing the last lingering shred of connection they had. Neither of them were really even having sex with the other, they were just grunting and sweating against the shadows in their own minds, using each other as measuring sticks for their own inadequacy. It's a powerful if highly uncomfortable scene.

...and if it turns out she was lying about the pill and is just trying to trap him in this toxic relationship for the sake of a child I'm going to be really pissed off.

The point is that he was just the right enabler to help her out of her shell and still not be good enough for her, since he wasn't really a full person in her eyes once she saw the opportunities that opened up for her.

And that is why she is detestable. Being in a relationship means that when something isn't right or isn't enough YOU TALK ABOUT IT. Denying the problem, seeking an answer elsewhere and lying to cover up that betrayal so that she doesn't have to risk what she has while trying to get something new... there is absolutely no love here. No commitment, no respect, no kindness, no decency, and ultimately no courage either. Relationships take work, and she has never done her part while stewing silently in anger and entitlement over his inadequacies as if he's psychic and would just know this shit instinctively. Maybe the problems were insermountable and they'll never be happy together anyway, but by not being open and honest about she robbed them both of the chance to find out.

(and please understand that inadequacy is referring to more than just the sex between them.

I don't think you've adequately explained this. If that's the case I'd recommend considering some rewriting again, because it simply isn't coming through nor do I understand what other source of inadequacy you're possibly referring to unless you mean Tenshi's ability to buy her nice things. At that point her motivation is both sex AND money, and anyone calling her a whore would be entirely justified.

[BlackRockHanako]

I'm thinking more along the line of she's already pregnant

Oh gods, if Hanako was pregnant and only wanted to sleep with Hisao so she could pretend it was his...the delicious anger on the forums!

[Oddball]

I tried to read it, but just couldn't get into it. The characters seemed too off the mark. Hanako didn't seem herself at all and Hisao came across as incredibly whiny and wishywashy, even for him.

As a story, it doesn't seem badly written, but whenever I try to picture the characters doing and saying these things it just pulls me out of the story completley.