The Greatest Gift of the Heart

[Chrono180]

So, on a whim I decided to take a break from the 50+ page epic I've been working on and do a quick tangent. As implied in another thread, I had been thinking about what might have happened if Hisao had not come to Yamaku. This was the result. It's kind of like "It's a wonderful life," but being as I have never exactly seen that film, I just went by my general impressions of it. I hope I did well on this fic.

The Greatest Gift of the Heart. A Katawa shoujo fanfic.

Hisao slumped in his apartment dejectedly. Twenty years of age and nobody could come to his birthday. It wasn't their fault, really. It's just that all of the friends he made had their own lives they were busy with. Lilly was traveling with Akira somewhere in Europe. Emi was on her honeymoon with her fiancee. Rin was chugging away with her paintings, Shizune and Misha in a completely different university halfway across the country. Kenji was working on his latest novel. Hanako...He winced at the thought. She had blown up at him back at Yamaku. It had been his own fault really, he wanted to protect her, not realizing until too late that she just wanted someone to treat her as an equal.
Hisao pulled out his phone, getting halfway through dialing Hanako's number before changing his mind and turning it off. No, she didn't want him. He had screwed up beyond repair in that regard. And besides, it was two years after they last saw each other. Much as he wished things had ended differently, that ship had sailed. He took a swig of whiskey and sighed
No, he was alone. He hadn't fit in well at university. Maybe it was his own fault, being preoccupied with the fact that he might die early on did make him a bummer to be around. Maybe he could fix that. Or maybe he would just wallow in sorrow and get drunk. The latter seemed more likely. By far.
“Stupid arrhythmia,” he mumbled “I wish I never had gone to Yamaku. At least then I wouldn't have to lose everyone.” He took another swig and groaned. Maybe he could just forget. Forget the friends that he had grown apart from, forget the love he had lost, forget the miserable waste of time his life had become. Maybe even forget his heart, though that seemed a stretch.
There was a knock at the door.
Hisao blinked, then called out “It's unlocked, come on in.”
The door swung open and a young man about his age walked in, closing the door behind him. Dressed in a white shirt and black pants and with black hair, he looked vaguely familiar despite Hisao being sure he had never met the guy before.
“Hey,” Hisao said, a bit bleary eyed “Nice to have someone around for the big two-oh. Who are you?”
“Name's Clarity, I'm a friend.” The man smiled, Hisao nodded
“A friend, huh? Wish I had more of those. Well, I do, they're just all busy.” He took another swig of whiskey and grinned, hoping to put the visitor at ease.
Clarity looked at Hisao sadly, “I know. I heard what you said. I used to go to Yamaku too.”
“Really?” Hisao replied, the alcohol loosening his tongue somewhat “You look normal to me, what was your disability?”
“I'll tell you later. But let me ask you something, did you mean what you said? About wishing you hadn't gone there?”
“Yeah.” Hisao took another swig, then putting the bottle aside. “They say it's better to have loved and lost, but I think that’s a bunch of crap. I wish I could've had a normal life. But whatever, no chance of that.”
Clarity pursed his lips, “I can show you if you'd like.”
“Show me what?”
“What would have happened if you had never gone to Yamaku. If you had a ordinary heart.”
Hisao looked Clarity with a funny look “That's impossible.”
“Impossible is word for those who lack imagination. I can show you, but it won't be pleasant.”
Hisao shrugged “Sure,” he replied “What do I have to lose?”
“Come with me.”
Hisao staggered to his feet and followed Clarity as the latter walked out of the door to his room.

To his surprise, as they walked outside, they emerged onto the porch of a large manor surrounded by large fields of grass. It was midday, which surprised Hisao considering it had close to nighttime when he had started drinking.
“Ok, who are you and how did you do that?” he asked Clarity. “And where are we? I'm pretty sure my dorm doesn't emerge into the middle of the countryside.”
“I'll explain everything in due time. We are currently just outside of Innervess, Scotland.”
Hisao did a double take, “We traveled halfway across the world? How the heck-”
His astonishment was interrupted by a nearby screen door opening, a familiar figure walking outside
“Excuse me” Lilly said, “Who are you?”
“Lilly?” Hisao started
“Do you know me?
“Yes, it's me. Hisao. Hisao Nakai.”
“I don't know anybody by that name.”
“Yes, you do. We met at...oh. “
“I'm sorry?”
“I just...” Hisao struggled to find the words,“Sorry, I knew you in another life. How are things going? I would have thought you'd be in Rome at this point.”
“Rome? I don't travel much. At all really, my parents don't like it.”
“But.. I thought... Who cares what your parents think?” The last bit came out harsher than expected.
“I care. I do what they say. I know, I'd love to travel more, but it's not an option.”
“Do you have friends?” He asked, trying to change the subject. It wasn't the greatest segue, but it was all he could think of.
Lilly shook her head “I used to. One in particular, but I haven't talked to her in years...”
Hisao flinched at that. Lilly had always kept in touch with Hanako. Always. Even after the blow up between Hanako and himself, Lilly had made sure to keep in touch with both of them. It was impressive considering her lack of skill with technical devices, but she made the extra effort to remain friends.
“If you don't mind, could you please leave?” Lilly asked “My parents have sent a suitor for me and he should be arriving soon. It would be very awkward to be talking to another man.”
“Suitor...?” Hisao got out then looked down “Yes, sure. Sorry to interrupt you.” He walked down the stairs to the porch and turned to Clarity “So, she doesn't get away from her parents?”
“No, she doesn't” Clarity said sadly, “She never gained the courage. In a few years she'll be married off to a man she doesn't give a damn about. She won't see anyone after that.”

Hisao was about to say something, when the scene changed. In the blink of an eye, they were inside a pink bedroom strewn with clothes. Lying atop a futon was Emi, and she was crying her eyes out, unconscious all the while.
“Emi-” Hisao began, but then thought better of it. It was not really a good idea to be inside a girl's bedroom while she slept. Would pose some very bad questions.
“What happened to her?” he whispered to Clarity, “Where's Motoki, her fiancee?”
“She never gave him a chance. Was too afraid of losing him, so kept him away. Another time, another place, she might have found the faith from her crush on you. There, she felt might have pushed past her fears, feeling that she had lost one person she secretly liked and she didn't want to lose another. But here, she didn't.”
Hisao looked down at the crying figure before him and felt his heart slowly break. “I did this?” he said softly.
Clarity didn't respond.
“I'm sorry Emi.” Hisao mumbled. Suddently, Emi began to stir.
She looked up and immediately freaked out “Who the hell are you? How the hell did you get in my room? GET OUT! GET OUT!” She screamed, Hisao ran to the door and opened it, then dashed outside.

He and Clarity emerged into a mostly empty classroom, where Shizune was flipping through a loose leaf binder.
“I can help you communicate,” Clarity said to Hisao, and touched his head. A storm of images flew into his brain, dealing with the use of sign language and meaning. Hisao nodded weakly and touched Shizune on the shoulder.
[Um, Shizune?] Hisao signed using the new knowledge in his brain
[You know sign? That's good. I haven't had someone I could communicate with in years.] She gave a slight grin [It gets lonely.]
[What happened to Misha?]
[How do you know about her?]
[I just know. Did something happen?]
[She left me.] Shizune shrugged [Couldn't handle me I guess, just like everyone else. Last I heard she was doing an exchange program in Canada, getting good grades, and a lover...I miss her. She was a good friend.]
[Can't you text her?]
[No...No..] Shizune shook her head sadly [When she left, she told me that she couldn't handle being around me anymore. Because of her crush on me. So she asked me never to contact her again.]
Hisao did a double take at that but signed out [I'm sorry.]
[Me too. I wish I had been better to her. Friends like that are rare as hen's teeth. Now I'm all alone.]
[So, how are things going otherwise?]
[Fair enough I guess. Getting good grades, working towards my degree. I just...I don't know. I wish things could have ended differently. Whats your name?]
[Hisao.]
[It's good to meet you, Hisao. Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you with my problems. You know, if you'd like, you can text me.] She took a sheet of paper and scribbled her number on it, then handed it to Hisao, who stuffed it in his pocket. She then picked her binder up and began flipping through it again.
Hisao gave her a guilty look, then turned to Clarity, “Is this my fault too?” He asked. “Did Shizune and Misha break apart because I wasn't there?”
“I'm afraid so. Your interactions with them provided a basis they could focus on. It prevented the worst case scenario.”
“I...” Hisao swallowed “I never meant for all this to happen.”
“I know, Hisao. Come with me, there is more to show you.” Clarity opened the classroom door, and Hisao followed again, shaking his head sadly.

They emerged into a white room with padding covering the walls. The room was sparsely furnished with a bed and a couple of chairs. In one chair sat a disheveled figure in a white robe with a pair of thick glasses on his face.
“Kenji?” Hisao asked. Kenji didn't respond.
“Kenji?” Hisao asked again, “Kenji?”
“Shut up.” Kenji finally said “You're not real.”
“Yes I am, what happened to you? This looks like a sanitarium.”
“Duh.” Kenji shrugged “What else could it be?” He kicked the ground dejectedly “You should know that, considering you're just in my head. Will you please go away? My paranoia is bad enough without hearing voices too.”
“I know you don't know me, but I am real.”
“That's what they all say. It's impossible to tell who actually exists and whose just a figment of my imagination. So I'm assuming everyone I meet is a lie and acting accordingly.”
“Why are you in here?”
“You should know that too. I got in a fight with a girl because I thought she was a 'feminist spy' or something. Punched her in the face real hard. My lawyer got me out of jail, but I wound up here instead.” He motioned to the room around him “Living hell. Can't read or write or do much of anything here. I wish I could just jump off a cliff. But they prevent that.” He gave a defeated sigh, “I know my mind was messed up, but I didn't deserve this. Or maybe I did. I don't know. For a long time I fought a war against the feminists only to find out the enemy was all in my head. I have nothing left. I'm without a purpose. Now go away.”
Hisao nodded and walked away towards the portal he had entered from.
“At least he's getting the help he needs.” he said softly
“But at what cost?” Clarity asked “You know Kenji better than almost anyone, would you say he's better in your world?”
“Yes, definitely. He's actually making a fair showing as an author. I just am trying to find some good in this situation. Though it's not really working.” Hisao shook his head sadly. “How could I have caused this?”
“It's the butterfly effect at work. Change one detail about the past, and everything from that point onward is in jeopardy. In this case, your not meeting with Kenji let his eccentricities worsening to the point where he became violent.“

The scene shifted and they wound in a hospital. In a bed was Rin. She was looking pretty bad, with tubes sticking out her body, but as she saw Hisao and Clarity arrive, she took notice. “I've got visitors.” she remarked and tried to get up, but immediately fell back onto the bed.
“Are you alright?” Hisao asked.
“That remains to be seen.” Rin shrugged, “I thought I would be, but I also thought taking a bottle of Valium was a good idea. My judgment is not as good as it should be.”
“You overdosed on sleeping pills? Rin, why the hell would you do such a thing?”
Rin gazed at Hisao blankly, “I just got tired.” she said plainly. “I'm still tired. I think I will sleep.” She turned over on the bed and Hisao looked at Clarity helplessly.
“She tried to kill herself?” He said softly.
Clarity nodded, “In your world, you made a special point to remain long-distance friends with the people you met at Yamaku. It affected everyone, but especially Rin, as she really doesn't have much in the way of friends. Without you, she felt lost, leading to her near death.”
Hisao stared at the girl, who had managed to fall asleep in mere seconds. “Will she be alright?”
Clarity shook his head, “She won't kill herself if that’s what you mean, but she'll be alone. Just like Emi, just like Shizune, Just like Lilly, Just like Kenji. Now follow me, we have one more stop.”
They walked out the door and emerged into...

A graveyard. Hisao's breath nearly stopped as he entered it.
“Why are we her?” he asked weakly, scared of the answer. Clarity pointed to one of the stones and Hisao's heart nearly stopped.
RIP
Hanako Ikezawa
1989-2008

At that point something broke inside Hisao. The others had been bad enough, but Hanako... even after their blow up he would have died rather than hurt Hanako. And now she was dead. Because of him. Because he had selfishly wanted to be normal.
He slumped to the ground and began to cry. “Why did this happen?” he choked out. “Why?”
Clarity looked sadly at him, “Despite how things ended between the two of you, the kindness you showed her went a long way in convincing her to come out of her shell. In this reality, she never met you, and drifted apart from Lilly after the latter left to Scotland. The loneliness eventually got to be to much for her to bear, and one day she gave up and took a razor to her wrists.”
Hisao sat there, sobbing “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...”
“Do you understand now, Hisao? You matter. The right man, in the right place, in the right time, can make a world of difference for everybody. You were that man. You touched so many lives just by meeting your friends and staying in touch with them. Without you, everyone fell apart. But I can fix it.”
“Fix it?” Hisao got out.
“I told you I was a student a Yamaku, have you guessed my disability?”
Hisao shook his head.
“No wings.”
Hisao considered that statement for a long while, then came to a conclusion “You're an angel?” he asked, “Is this like that movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life'?”
“That movie was based on actual events, and yes. Every so often, when a person is important enough and filled with despair, young angels are given a chance to show that person what a difference they made in the world. I chose to help you, since when I was alive...” Clarity looked down “When I was alive, I went to Yamaku as well. I had lost my left arm due to cancer, and was sent there to recover. I didn't take it very well, but eventually I made friends, much in the same way you did. Sadly, in my senior year the cancer came back. I tried to fight it as hard as I could, but it wasn't enough and I passed away shortly after graduation. In this form, my arm is repaired, but anyway... This was around five years before you had your heart attack...and when I saw you down there acting sad that nobody could be with you when you turned 20, I just...”
“I understand.” Hisao said “I was being selfish and shortsighted. I had no idea...” He rubbed the tears from his eyes, “You can put me back, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn't have done this otherwise. Just close your eyes.”
Hisao closed his eyes and leaned back.

Hisao jerked awake. He was back in his dorm room. Glancing at the clock he saw it was about eight PM. Must have fallen asleep. That was a horrible dream, for sure. He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, only for his hand to brush against a piece of paper. Taking it out, he unfolded it and his mouth dropped open in shock.

Shizune Hakamichi
225-5079
Text me.

“Not a dream” he mumbled. He checked the facebook app on his phone and gave a relived sigh as he scrolled through his friend's walls. Emi was with Motoki, Kenji was ranting about feminists, Shizune and Misha were still at their university, Akira was posting her photos with her and Lilly, Rin was with her paintings. He closed the app. Things were back to normal. Well, almost. There was something he had to do. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
“H-hello?” A voice came on the other end.
“Hanako?” Hisao said, “It's Hisao.
“O-oh. Hisao...Oh my..”
“I know we haven't talked in a while, but...I'd like to patch things up with you.” Hisao paused, Please don't hang up on me. He thought.
“Hisao...I'm just s-so sorry!” Hanako cried, “I'm so sorry. I m-messed it all up.”
“No, Hanako. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't realize...Well, I just...” he searched for the words. “I'm the one who screwed up.”
“I-I've thought about you. I didn't want.... Please don't be mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad at you? I'm just mad at myself for thinking you needed to be 'protected' when that wasn't at all what you wanted.” There was a pause on the other end of the line and Hisao took a deep breath, “Would you like to meet at the East Cafe? I'd love to see you in person.”
“I...I....Yes. That s-sounds nice.”

A few minutes later, Hisao arrived at the restaurant. Hanako was waiting outside. When she saw Hisao, she briefly looked like she was going to bolt, but then regained her composure and walked up to him.
“Umm..Hi...” she said.
“Hello there,” Hisao replied, “You look nice tonight.”
“T-thank you...”
“How's school going?”
“P-pretty good. I-I've made a few friends. M-more than I had at least..” She looked down at her feet and added “It's hard.”
“I understand perfectly. I'm having trouble making friends as well.”
“S-so...W-why did you want to see me? I'm not really..I'm not...” She swallowed “I t-thought you g-gave up on me.”
Hisao gave a guilty look, “I had thought that the way we ended...I didn't think it could be repaired. So I did give up. Not on you, but on myself. It was a mistake. But tonight, sitting in my room alone, wallowing in self pity...I guess you could say I had an epiphany. I gave up too easily. I've missed you so much. I don't know if we can recapture what we had, but I want to try. And if nothing else, I don't want to hurt each other anymore. Does that sound good?”
Hanako gave a smile, which warmed Hisao's heart. “Y-yes. I-I've missed you too. So much. S-shall we go eat?”
“You know it.”
The two of then strode into the restaurant. From a distance, Clarity watched and smiled. They have a second chance he thought I'm sure they'll make the most of it.

[Roamin12]

Very good, and a good portrayal of a 'what if' scenario, though there are a few mistakes, or poorly worded parts.

He had screwed beyond repair up with her

That sounds a little awkward. "He screwed up beyond repair with her." sounds a little better, but still a little clunky.

It was impressive considering he lack of skill with technical devices,

Her, not he.
And about Hisao's visitor's name being Clarity,

[Chrono180]

Very good, and a good portrayal of a 'what if' scenario, though there are a few mistakes, or poorly worded parts.

He had screwed beyond repair up with her

That sounds a little awkward. "He screwed up beyond repair with her." sounds a little better, but still a little clunky.

It was impressive considering he lack of skill with technical devices,

Her, not he.
And about Hisao's visitor's name being Clarity,

Glad you liked it. i wasn't sure if it was very good, but I'm glad it is. And I fixed those two phrases. I admit I have trouble editing my own work, and since I don't have anyone else who can proofread in a reasonable length of time, some things are bound to slip by me. Let me know if theres any other places I need to fix.

[Roamin12]

Glad you liked it. i wasn't sure if it was very good, but I'm glad it is. And I fixed those two phrases. I admit I have trouble editing my own work, and since I don't have anyone else who can proofread in a reasonable length of time, some things are bound to slip by me. Let me know if theres any other places I need to fix.

Those were the only two I saw. There were a few clunky sentences, but still acceptable. And I know what you mean, I suck at proofreading.

[Mahorfeus]

“No wings.”

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aha, kidding. My mother used to force the family to watch this movie every freakin' Christmas, so it was a nice read.

[FluffandCrunch]

Oh, shit, I loved this to pieces!
I had thought of something like this once and the outcomes of everyone's lives seems very believable to me.
I'm a little jealous you got too it before I did.
Well done, Chrono!

[northernlight]

A good read Chrono. I was working on something similar but it took a different turn. Keep up the good work!

[stanman237]

Nice reference to cutter about Hanako using a razor to cut her wrists or was that pure coincidence?

[Chrono180]

Nice reference to cutter about Hanako using a razor to cut her wrists or was that pure coincidence?

Mostly coincidence. I knew about "cutter" but I haven't read it as Doomish's fics tend to freak me out. The only one i got all the way through was Braving the Storm. Which I loved. I got part of the way through Little Faith, and I read about a page of that harlen ellison one (which disturbed me horribly. Gave me aniexty attacks in fact). But yeah, i don't deal well with disturbing/depressing fics.

[Mirage_GSM]

... and the outcomes of everyone's lives seems very believable to me.

No. Not really...
It more like. "This fleeting acquantance I had during Highschool completely turned my life around."
While something like that might in some cases make a good story, this is it times six.
Since this is set post Hanako's bad end, I can't suspend my disbelief enough to accept that Hisao made that much of a difference in Shizune's or Emi's lives who he hardly had any contact with - not more than any of the other few dozen classmates at least.
But, hey, it's only an experimental one-shot, so I'm not complaining. It made for an interesting read, even if I don't buy the premise.

[Mahorfeus]

I do feel that this kind of story could be even further expanded upon. It's hard to justify Hisao's large influence in their lives as is, as it essentially assumes an ending that cannibalizes portions of several routes, with Hanako's bad ending being at the center. Granted, there are possible scenarios where he could have interacted with all the girls to this kind of extent, but Hanako's route doesn't provide that kind of coverage.

[Beoran]

Very interesting! I liked it, since I think the butterfly effect sometimes actually works like that in reality too.

I didn't mention a few things in my Japanese culture tips, but from what I hear, that way of suicide is rare in Japan. Hanako would be more likely to go into a forest, perhaps even http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aokigahara, with a rope... As for angels, in Japan, it seems quite a few people actually do kinda sorta believe in them, so Hisao would not be too surprised.

Anyway, thanks for your story!

[FishyBroski]

It warms my heart and soul :')

[Chrono180]

Wow, thank you to everyone who liked my fic as much as they did. I honestly wasn't sure if it was any good. To address the most common quibble about "hisao shouldn't have made that much of a difference", the way I see it is that not every interaction with his classmates are explicitly shown, and he remains enough of a friend 'behind the scenes' to the other girls to make a difference. At least, that's the premise I was working with.

[Demoneq]

I don't know the movie you mentioned, so the first thing it brought to my mind was "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, with Clarity taking Hisao to different places.

I agree with Mirage_GSM though, it's a good read, but the premise is somewhat "unrealistic" within the context of original KS' story. (well, partially - I can suspend my disbelief in that, or just not think of it much, but it strikes me as a little weird)