Real Life KS-type Relationships

[Nekken]

I hate my smile. Some people say it is nice, but it is this conniving, half smirk like I had just slipped poison into someone's wine glass. I may share a lot with Hanako, but not her cute smile. Growing up, they tried to force me to smile and I never could. I try to smile in the mirror but it looks so fake.

What really makes a smile look genuine isn't your mouth; it's your eyes. For photos, try laughing a little instead of smiling. Take it from another non-photogenic person: this helps.

Thanks for encouragement, though I know I look boring and plain.

If you want me to be completely honest, in that photo you do look plain, but it's also not a very flattering photo. It looks like you were trying to take an action shot and use it as a portrait, and nobody looks as good in action shots as they do in portraits. In your particular case, the flash is too bright for your skin tone, and it's also off-center: this creates a lot of shadows that make you look much more angular. Natural light would suit you better, and real life is full of the stuff. I can't say much more about your looks without actually seeing you, of course, but I can tell enough to know that that photo is selling you short: contrary to popular belief, the camera can lie.

You said that you worry about your nose, but I have an idea that should be cheaper than rhinoplasty (and more easily undone, if you decide you don't like it). I notice that you keep your bangs long, cut in a straight line close to your eyes. Have you ever considered wearing your hair more swept back, off the forehead? This wouldn't actually change the size and shape of your nose, but if more of your face is visible then your nose won't dominate it as much. That makes a real difference.

[micechasekittens]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.


Shot at 2012-03-23

[The O.H.L.]

I'm trying more to step out of my shell and want to talk to more people so umm anyone who wants to talk to a girl similar to Hanako who loves games, please send an IM. -_- Understandably many people wanted to be Hanako's guards in that one thread though I don't look cute like her, but yeah love to talk to more people and stop hiding so much from interaction. Might start rambling cause feel nervous, but it would be nice to make more friends.

I'm quietly chuckling to myself because everyone keeps saying 'Mr' right and you'll find a 'guy'.
Though mind you I could have read things wrong and I could be the one making people laugh, but whatever, I like making people smile.
Also you look fine IMO. At my high school there are people how look like they just emerged out of a cave to terrorize a village and they are some of the most cocky, bitchy and popular people I know. You don't have to many flaws, a slightly large nose? Meh, everybody has something they hate about their body. Also smiles are smiles, they should be reserved till you feel they need to be shown if that is how you roll. Me? I'm almost Misha in how much I smile and laugh, even if it's not how I really feel.

[Alexbond45]

I smile a lot during band, I crack so many jokes.

I like your smile, better than my abdomen (frikken fat >.<)

[Paddy]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.
Shot at 2012-03-23

You gave me a real big grin.
You trying to smile is just... oh, what's the word? It gives me great... joy, for some reason. It's... cute.

And your face better at this angle. With your hair - that really beautiful hair.

[Beoran]

Micechaseskittens, that's a lot better photo, indeed. The feeling that goes with it seems much better too!

[Mumei]

Forging friendships with like-minded people on the internet is all well and good; I would, however, suggest that posting one's chat ID on a public forum post is not necessarily the greatest of ideas, as the post will persist long after the original purpose of such has been fulfilled. User profiles, or better yet, private messages, are better for such things.

[micechasekittens]

Forging friendships with like-minded people on the internet is all well and good; I would, however, suggest that posting one's chat ID on a public forum post is not necessarily the greatest of ideas, as the post will persist long after the original purpose of such has been fulfilled. User profiles, or better yet, private messages, are better for such things.

Good point, I went back and deleted contact info. I think the pm is a better idea, thanks.

[notacreepipromise]

If you still don't believe me, you could try posting an anonymous picture of yourself on here, doing what you usually do. Looking shy and reading a book. See how many guys instantly praise you and want to get to know you better. Are some of them internet creeps? Possibly. But I bet more than 90% of them are absolutely sincere and feel that they have been looking for a girl like you their entire adult lives, if not longer.

Try saying this to yourself sometimes, while looking in the mirror: "I'm a shy, retiring, nerdy girl. I love books, anime, and video games. There are millions of other boys and girls just exactly like me. They want the same things I want. They will appreciate me and love me for who I am, inside and out." If you say that enough times, you may start to realize just how true it really is.

Well here is me. Pictures of me are few and far in between. I'll probably delete this right away and regret posting it. I can't really do any pics with me holding a book as hard to angle camera. I know I need rhinnoplasty. I got reminded about that a lot growing up.

Hi you. Seeing your picture after reading your posts made me smile. A good, long, happy smile. That's a very lovely nose you have. It has personality and compliments your cheekbones. You also have nice hands, pretty eyes, and you look tall and have wavy and shiny hair. What's more, even your glasses are nice! And what a cute little mouth! You know, it may not mean anything to you because we don't know each other, and I'm pretty sure I look creepy - but based on looks alone, you're pretty much a dream girl, not even taking into account what you described about your personality and interests. And you know what? I have a girlfriend, who has a big nose on a very thin face, which looks disproportionate (or so she thinks, 'cause I think she looks wonderful). I love her nose. She loves being kissed on the nose. Ever tried? You should think of your nose like my girlfriend has come to think of hers - the bigger it is, the more kisses can be placed on it. Crooked nose? Lots of fun nibbling. Fat nose? Fat noses get cold easily since no blood goes far enough, so in Winter it's non-stop kisses full on the nose. Honestly now, what's not to love about your nose! I say, as long as you can cover your nose with one hand, there's no need for rhinnoplasty.
And now excuse-me but seeing a photo of such a lovely girl made me feel like I were cheating, so I'll go back to my girlfriend and her "gigantic nose". To think she used to desire getting plastic surgery...
Oh and one last thing: you know about BD/bédé/bande dessinée? Those French comics? There's a current (a very very popular one) in which all characters have huge potatoes-like noses. And everyone loves their noses. So come on, girl, your nose is cute and you may even find people who will like you because of your nose. Also you're plenty pretty so don't sell yourself short.

[Renkinjutsushi]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2158/img0322dn.jpg
Shot at 2012-03-23

Beautiful! Guys, please reward her for showing such bravery. I'm sure a lot of you are shy enough to know how much it takes to make an effort like this. Now is your chance to befriend a cute girl who likes a lot of the same things you do. Please be nice to her though, or I'll find out and kick your ass!!

[axlryder]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2158/img0322dn.jpg
Shot at 2012-03-23

You're really not bad looking. I'm sure there're plenty of men out there who would be interested in a relationship with you (and not just a bunch of selfish, scuzzy jerks either). Your nose, honestly, isn't that big as far as I can tell. It's definitely not something that would make me deem you unattractive. However, since it seems to bother you so much, I'm curious as to why you haven't pursued rhinoplasty.

[Renkinjutsushi]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2158/img0322dn.jpg
Shot at 2012-03-23

You're really not bad looking. I'm sure there're plenty of men out there who would be interested in a relationship with you (and not just a bunch of selfish, scuzzy jerks either). Your nose, honestly, isn't that big as far as I can tell. It's definitely not something that would make me deem you unattractive. However, since it seems to bother you so much, I'm curious as to why you haven't pursued rhinoplasty.

Honestly I don't think plastic surgery is the answer... I've seen enough go wrong to make me question whether it is ever truly a good idea unless a person simply must look a certain way to continue their career (mainly actresses, but this too is sad). Not only is it painful and expensive, but a surgeon who slips up can leave you with constricted nasal passages, noticeable scars, and a lot of other issues.

Really I think that pic is beautiful. Why change?

[axlryder]

This one is from a while back but has more of the natural light and attempt at smiling.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2158/img0322dn.jpg
Shot at 2012-03-23

You're really not bad looking. I'm sure there're plenty of men out there who would be interested in a relationship with you (and not just a bunch of selfish, scuzzy jerks either). Your nose, honestly, isn't that big as far as I can tell. It's definitely not something that would make me deem you unattractive. However, since it seems to bother you so much, I'm curious as to why you haven't pursued rhinoplasty.

Honestly I don't think plastic surgery is the answer... I've seen enough go wrong to make me question whether it is ever truly a good idea unless a person simply must look a certain way to continue their career (mainly actresses, but this too is sad). Not only is it painful and expensive, but a surgeon who slips up can leave you with constricted nasal passages, noticeable scars, and a lot of other issues.

Really I think that pic is beautiful. Why change?

Because it at the end of the day, what you think about her makes little difference to her. Being excessively vain is one thing, but if there is an aspect of yourself that has haunted you for your entire life and you could easily change, then it's easily justified. From what I've read, rhinoplasty has a very high success rate. Shying away from something because it's painful is silly if it's going to ultimately improve your quality of life. Money, obviously, factors in.

Regardless, my father had rhinoplasty. The bridge of his nose was crushed. Had surgery to fix it. now he has a normal nose. His life would be undoubtedly harder if I hadn't had the surgery. How is it different for this girl? Because she was born that way she should now be obligated to not change an aspect of herself that she feels is making her life harder than it needs to be?

[Paddy]

Ah... a debate to be had...
...and over a fairly pretty girl, too... this ought to be interesting...
*considers diving in*
...why not?

Because it at the end of the day, what you think about her makes little difference to her. Being excessively vain is one thing, but if there is an aspect of yourself that has haunted you for your entire life and you could easily change, then it's easily justified. From what I've read, rhinoplasty has a very high success rate. Shying away from something because it's painful is silly if it's going to ultimately improve your quality of life. Money, obviously, factors in.

Regardless, my father had rhinoplasty. The bridge of his nose was crushed. Had surgery to fix it. now he has a normal nose. His life would be undoubtedly harder if I hadn't had the surgery. How is it different for this girl? Because she was born that way she should now be obligated to not change an aspect of herself that she feels is making her life harder than it needs to be?

If you do not come to terms with your "imperfections", you will think that you can throw money at them and solve them.

What she needs is not rhinoplasty, but to overcome her self-consciousness about her nose. It's not like your father's nose, which I imagine was not only ugly but uncomfortable and possibly rather difficult and painful to breathe through.

The issue is not a matter of the nose. It's a matter of the head. We've all got issues like this. "What's he going to think of me because my mother's a drunkard?" "What will I do if she finds out I used to smoke?" "Am I ugly because I've got fat thighs? My father/brother/ex said so." "I'm a porn addict/prostitiute/adulterer/etc. sinner; can God ever love me as I am?"

Having peace with your own life is a lot more rewarding and a lot less expensive than thinking you can hide/clamp/suck/cut/drill/exfoliate/get mad and yell at whatever you're afraid's going to make you look stupid, whether it's on the surface, in your family, or in your very soul. And in the end it's a lot more productive.

It is very freeing to know you are loved - by God, by your girlfriend, by your wife, by your children, and by your parents, family, and friends - and they either don't care about your imperfections, or will be with you all the way in spite of them. Cos you know? They've got imperfections, too, and you love them despite them, too.

[Nekken]

What you say, Paddy, is true as far as it goes. Making peace with oneself and one's appearance is important, and feeling loved is part of that. However, the fact remains that other people do notice one's appearance. It's hard not to; even Lilly, although she experiences appearances in a different way from sighted people, still forms her own opinions.

But you're right that such drastic measures as rhinoplasty are often not needed, and I'm not sure she really needs it either (unless there are medical issues, such as the ones you point out may have been the case with her father). Unless there are severe health issues, in fact, most people can look very good in their own bodies. One of the big tricks here is to keep in mind that different things will flatter different body types, find what flatters one's own, and learn to work with it. I suggested an off-the-forehead hairstyle, for example, because it would reduce the dominance of her nose, which in turn would bring out the rest of her face. Cheaper than rhinoplasty, but easier to undo if it doesn't work out. Someone else mentioned lighter glasses: this would also help, though it's more expensive than changing one's hairstyle.