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WORDS WORDS WORDS


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Otakumon
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Otakumon »

Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
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myshoesarebrown
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by myshoesarebrown »

Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
My understanding of the story may be completely wrong, but I'm fairly sure Hisao isn't in control. The voice... monster... thing... just needed to eat him, perhaps take his form like he did Kenji. Just as Kenji was not in control, he was just a tool. I assume Hisao is now dead, like Kenji.
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Doomish
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish »

Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
Well, technically, yes, but it's not about Hisao Nakai the person hating the people he's been presented with, it's about Hisao Nakai's iteration of the Voice telling him just how much he hates humans in general.
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Otakumon
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Otakumon »

Doomish wrote:
Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
Well, technically, yes, but it's not about Hisao Nakai the person hating the people he's been presented with, it's about Hisao Nakai's iteration of the Voice telling him just how much he hates humans in general.
I see. I thought maybe the voice was gleaning it's feelings from those it eats.
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Doomish
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish »

That's part of it too, hence why Kenji was so keen to break Hisao when he had all the girls to choose from. He didn't hate Hisao, he wanted him to survive at any cost; hence why the creature constantly made sure he was the only one left alive without the option of suicide. Regular ol' Kenji probably would have just let Hisao go alive, but again, he wasn't in control of the voice at all despite it adapting some of Kenji's emotion toward the girls, it was in control of him.
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Guest »

God damn it.

I know the ending left little room for continuing the story, but I can't help but want more. This may possibly be the most incredibly well fanfic I've ever read.
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Demonhornz
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Demonhornz »

Doomish wrote:That's part of it too, hence why Kenji was so keen to break Hisao when he had all the girls to choose from. He didn't hate Hisao, he wanted him to survive at any cost; hence why the creature constantly made sure he was the only one left alive without the option of suicide. Regular ol' Kenji probably would have just let Hisao go alive, but again, he wasn't in control of the voice at all despite it adapting some of Kenji's emotion toward the girls, it was in control of him.
So even when possessed by the thing, Kenji's still looking out for his bros.
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Althamus
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Althamus »

Um.

I got referred here by the Nightmare Fuel topic, and when here read the first post with some measure of... masochism? It's unlike anything I've read before. A little way down, I found someone talking about the original, and have just read that and... again, am not really sure what to think.

Your story is well written, I'm on the third post now, but reading it does feel a little bit surreal.

Also, not sure if you should put a link to the original in your first post? Or whether you explain things later on? But until I read the original, I hadn't a clue what was going on in the story.
Routes played: Emi (10/10), Shizune (6/10), Lilly (9/10), Hanako (9/10), Rin (7.5/10)
Emi > Hanako = Lilly > Rin > Shizune
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish (not logged in) »

There's a link to the original story in the first sentence of the OP, and a link to Cat Bountry's version in the second! I recommend any first-time readers to go through the original first, but this one has become enough of its own story that you can read it without knowing the original tale by Ellison exists, as the climax of the story reveals several things that tie it together.

And, no, I'm not a self-proclaimed pain enthusiast, it just happens to be a core element of the story.
Nakasaro-San
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Nakasaro-San »

TBH, I wasn't really affected by this, but goddamn the story is great. Some of the parts are pretty comical, I think :lol: But don't start hating on me. Just an opinion. :)
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The O.H.L.
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by The O.H.L. »

I have one little query about the story. In Hisao's dream the world is normal and fine, but Lilly is 'shown' the world and it is a desolate land, and at the end the voice tells the new batch of students that it is a post apocalyptic wasteland. So what is the real world like while they are in there? Also I just wanted to bring this back up.
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Mirage_GSM »

We'll never know what the world really looks like, because obviously the voice has the power to influence both the perceptions and memories of everyone in it's clutches, so for all we know they could be sitting on a green meadow with butterflies fluttering around them.
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The O.H.L.
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by The O.H.L. »

Mirage_GSM wrote:We'll never know what the world really looks like, because obviously the voice has the power to influence both the perceptions and memories of everyone in it's clutches, so for all we know they could be sitting on a green meadow with butterflies fluttering around them.
Now that would be a twist.
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Althamus
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Althamus »

The only thing that seemed strange and broke the fourth wall a little bit for me was that -no one- offered Lilly any clothes at all.

I can understand being numbed to the idea of nakedness on a sexual side, that after everything they've been through, such things as nakedness and modesty are the furthest from their minds, but it surprised me that none of them offered her anything. After all, clothing ourselves is one of the things that seperates us from animals, and if nothing else I would have thought that even in their situation, just giving her Hisao's shirt would have made her feel better for being clothed, even if it didn't really cover her properly. A symbol, "he can't take our humanity from us" etc.

That aside, it was a very good story :D I really enjoyed it, even if it did feel a little masochistic reading about the characters I know and love being torn apart (literally) in front of my eyes :P

I liked how you merged the VN to get aspects from all the paths together into the backstory. Kinda sad that the 'canon' story was Emi's bad ending. I also really liked Emi's ghost, I thought that put a nice spin on things and showed Hisao's gentle insanity, rather than frothing maniac side.

Well written story though :D
Routes played: Emi (10/10), Shizune (6/10), Lilly (9/10), Hanako (9/10), Rin (7.5/10)
Emi > Hanako = Lilly > Rin > Shizune
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Roamin12
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Roamin12 »

This story had been, for lack of better words, disturbing. But in a good way.
I normally am not into horror and the thought of having that injected into Katawa put me off at first, but i learned to roll with it.
Overall, the story was great, while I do have my qualms (More than likely because I'm too used to happy ending books, I should read more depressing no happy ending ones.) about it, I did like it. But I will NEVER read it again, to many nightmares and sleepless nights. *shudder*
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