New Fic: I don't even know Part 2

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 3

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:15 am

Kind of short. Meh. Should only be 5-6 more acts after this. Again, constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. Merry Christmas and enjoy.

Act 4: Enter Kenji

Balance in all things. The most important tenant in his philosophy was about to be shattered. He could feel it, the edges of the world expanding. Soon they would burst and balance would be destroyed.

Kenji leapt down from the top of the tree he was balancing on, landing on the ground with a soft tap. He made his way through the forest, up the mountain path he travelled each day. His daily meditations were important to his training, they brought him closer to everlasting oneness with the world. Once that was achieved, all things would be clear. An unreachable goal, yet a goal he would never stop pursuing. No point in pursuit, however, if the world is destroyed.

“That’s why I need to find her again.” He thought to himself as he clasped his hands together and pondered the situation.

“It’s the same aura that was present in Yamaku all those years ago. If they’re coming back, she’ll know what to do. I’ll have to return to civilization…” He grumbled as he rubbed his beard and frowned in consideration. He hadn’t been in a city since he graduated, instead living in the mountains and focusing on his martial and spiritual training. He had mastered many different martial arts, Tae Kwon Do, Shaolin Kung Fu and even Krav Maga. Still, his spirit was left wanting for more. He sought enlightenment, a way out of the coil of life, the endless paradoxical spiral in which all humans are trapped. That was his goal. It would have to wait, though. He needed to find her and make sure she was aware of the situation. Then, the situation itself had to be sorted out.

“We repelled them well enough last time, but this is different. The boundaries are weakening everywhere, not just in an isolated spot. It will be a lot harder than last time. Hell, they could even…” He said and then, as if on cue, a thunderous groan ripped through the air. It sounded like huge metal girders bending and the air around him rippled and folded. He turned and regarded the source of the distortion, an area of the sky about a mile off was rippling wildly and cracking open.

“Speak of the devil. I’ll deal with this and then head to the city. This can’t be allowed to continue.” He said as he threw off his scarf and shirt and strode boldly towards the maelstrom. He stopped a quarter mile away from it as it opened and the being inside slammed into reality. A bullet train, wreathed in crackling energy, slid forth from the fissure in the sky. As it slammed onto the ground it reared its front car backwards and let loose a feral roar that turned the forest black and set fire to the trees.

“How rude of it to ignore me.” He stated plainly. “Guess I have to get its attention.” He said and walked up to a large tree.

He grasped it in a bear hug and ripped it from the ground, flipping it around and hammer throwing it at the newly released train. It collided with the front car and it ceased its reveling immediately. It glared at him, windows glowing red with primordial rage, and set into a mad charge.

A quarter of a mile.

Kenji took his stance. Legs spread, eyes forward, right arm back and left arm outstretched as if to catch the quickly approaching train.

Three thousand feet.

He centered his magical energy, a faint red glow surrounding his body and causing the blackened scenery around him to become colorful again, enriched by the aura of magic.

Fifteen hundred feet.

He brought all of his energy into his right fist, it became a swirling hellstorm of energy, crackling wildly and shooting bolts of energy off into the air. His hand was hot, like he had shoved it inside of an oven, and his body threatened to burst at the seams.

Five hundred feet.

His left hand turned and he beckoned the train onward. A scream like glass breaking met his goading gesture.

Five feet.

Kenji’s right hand flew out into a punch, colliding directly with the train.

The train didn’t stop.

Kenji didn’t move, either.

Kenji stayed motionless as the train split itself in half on his fist, cutting through the full length of it. The halves of it slid for a while and then became mist, returning to the ether.

He lowered his left hand and blew out the small fire that had started on his right. It would hurt for a while, but all things healed. It was his penance for the destruction he just wrought. Balance was preserved.

He turned east and head towards the city. He had to find her. He had to find Rin and the others. They had to band together against the coming threat. For, he could feel it. These trains were merely pawns. Something far more evil and powerful lurked in the darkness between this world and the next, waiting for its time. He had to make sure they were ready for it and that they were ready. Hisao especially…He was important. Kenji wasn’t sure why, but he had learned to trust his gut feelings. Together, they could stop this threat. Separated, they would be picked off one by one.

He rushed off towards the city, the only evidence of his movement being the rustling of leaves and the gust of the wind.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 4

Post by whathaveicreated » Sun Jan 01, 2012 2:23 am

Boredom abound at the start of the new year, so you get a twofer today. Happy new year.

Act 5 – Reunion

Hisao awoke with a yawn, holding his hand out to block the blinding rays of the sun that streamed through his window. He fumbled with the alarm clock on his bedside table and finally silenced its incessant screeching and slowly forced himself out of bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he shuffled to his door, thoughts of breakfast tantalizing his tired mind into action. He wandered down the hall of his small apartment and turned into his kitchen, letting loose a bestial yawn that forced his eyes shut as he turned and opened the fridge, removing the ingredients for his small breakfast, as it was. Milk and cereal, not the most extravagant of meals but it was all he could make.

As he turned around, holding his liter of milk, he noticed something off about his living room. There was nothing missing, rather there were more things there than there should have been. Standing in a corner was a tall girl with short blonde hair, leaning against the wall in complete silence and stillness. Across from her, sitting on his large reclining chair, was a shorter girl with purple hair and an eyepatch, garbed in a stately business suit. And laying on his couch, snoring loudly, was a familiar face. Rin had apparently passed out here some time ago.

“It’s pretty worrisome that I didn’t even hear her come in…and why in the hell did she bring these rando-“ His thought was interrupted as realization flashed through him like a jolt of electricity.

“H…Hanako?” He asked tentatively to the girl sitting in his chair. She turned to regard him and gave him a slight smile, returning his greeting.

“Hello Hisao. It’s been quite a while.” She said. “That’s putting it lightly! I thought you were dead, what with the plane crash and all. And I’m assuming that’s Lilly, nice to see both of you again, even if it’s under a pretty strange circumstance. Although with Rin involved, everything ends up being a strange circumstance.” He said with a small laugh.”Anyways, enough of my rambling, what happened to you two? I thought you had died when your plane crashed.” He said as he took a seat in the kitchen.

“We were gravely injured in the plane crash, I lost my eye and Lilly was in a coma for several months. We were found and taken in and have been studying abroad. I apologize for not contacting anyone sooner, I didn’t think anyone would care.” She said in a deadpan.

There was something wrong. It was too emotionless, too empty. The way she just belted the response out felt rehearsed, as if it was in a script.

“Well tha-“ Hisao started to say but was interrupted, “Hey, Hisao, where’s breakfast?” Rin said. She had woken up during their conversation and was sitting up on the couch in a daze, hair even more ruffled than normal.

“All I can really offer is cereal…” Hisao said shamefully. “Let me take care of that, Rin you should tell him why we’re here.” Hanako said as she strode past Hisao and started rummaging through his kitchen.

“Oh. Yea. You’re probably wondering why we’re in your apartment. Sorry about the breaking and entering, by the way. I’m hoping you don’t report me to the police or anything.” Rin said as she stretched her legs out and sat up straight.

“If I was going to report you for breaking and entering, I’d have done it the first time. Or the second. Or the third…you see where I’m going with this.” He said with a sigh.

“Well I’m glad you didn’t. I have a problem with cops. And jail. And jail food. Anyways, you remember what happened at Yamaku, right? The year we graduated, with the invasion and all.” She asked him outright.

“Er, well yea. That’s not exactly something one readily forgets, no matter how much one would like to.” He replied with a grimace.

“Well, we have good reason to believe it’s happening again and on a larger scale.” She replied as she stood up from her seat.

“And what’s your proof of that?” Hisao asked, fear and apprehension apparent in his voice.

“Eh. It’s nothing much. We already killed one of the invading spirits and I can feel about five hundred thousand of them lurking riiiigght at the edge of our world, waiting for cracks so that they can rush through. It really could be much, much worse.” Rin deadpanned as she walked into the kitchen as well.

“How could it possibly be worse?!” Hisao nearly yelled out, flabbergasted at the matter-of-fact tone she had.

“Well, for starters, we could have been stuck with you preparing breakfast. That would have been a disaster. Thankfully Hanako seems to have that covered.” Rin said. Hisao turned to examine what was going on in the kitchen, almost forgetting the other two girls were there. He was surprised to see bacon being cooked and pancakes being prepared.

“Oh, wow. I just had those things lying around for when Emi comes over. She likes to cook.” Hisao said as he hungrily eyed the food.

“Speaking of, are you seeing her soon?” Rin asked as she jumped up and sat on the counter.

“Should be coming over today in about three hours.” He replied as he reseated himself.

“Good, we need to tell her as well. We’ll need everyone at their full strength to fight off whatever’s coming.” Rin said while she leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling, no doubt weighing their odds of victory.

“Er, Rin, you do remember that I can’t actually fight or use magic…right?” Hisao asked meekly, ashamed.

“Still nothing? Anyone who was exposed to that amount of magical energy in Yamaku should at least have some form of minor magic. That’s really weird if you don’t. You’re weird.” She said as she leaned forward and stared him directly in the eyes.

“You don’t have to be so blunt about it…” He said with a slight blush.

“Hm. I’m not giving up hope yet. I think with everyone else sans you, we should still be fine. Can you call Emi and tell her to meet us early at the park down the road? We’ll eat breakfast and then head there.

“Y-yea, I’ll go do that.” Hisao said and shuffled quickly out of the room back to his bedroom.

Lilly walked up and sat herself down in the seat he had just vacated.

“He seems a bit off. He says he cannot use magic, but the aura I sense from him is as intense as the flame of a star.” She said as she moved her hair out of her eyes.

“Yea it’s really weird. Like I said, he’s weird. He probably just needs a trigger. Something is keeping his magic sealed up. Be that as it may,” she said as she looked straight ahead. Lilly couldn’t see her, per se, but it was still polite to look at the person you were talking to, “I think with just you, Hanako, Emi, Kenji, Shizune and I, we’ll be fine.” Her only reply was a curt nod from Lilly and a gruff agreement from Hanako.

“Okay, I called Emi and she says she’ll be there in an hour. So we’d better hurry.” Hisao said.

“Breakfast is done. Eat and let’s be off.” Hanako replied as she took a plate for herself and sat down in the living room.

“Better enjoy it, Hisao.” Rin said as she lifted up a plate and her food using her mind.

“W-why do you say that?” He asked with a gulp.

“It could be the last meal you ever have.” She deadpanned and walked into the living room.


“Don’t worry, Hisao. I feel an aura of victory around us all. Aura, aura it’s always about the auras.” Lilly said with a smile as she picked up her food.

“I’m the only sane one here…” Hisao grumbled as he took his plate and joined his friends.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 4

Post by whathaveicreated » Sun Jan 01, 2012 2:28 am

Reaching the end now. I'm kind of disheartened by the lack of replies this is receiving, yet I think I know why. The first two were utterly awful and I bet they turned off anyone from reading any further posts. No matter, though, I'm fine with not getting any replies as long as a few people find enjoyment from this. This should be finished up by January 2nd at the very latest. Happy new year.

Act 6 – The Source Revealed

Breakfast was eaten in rushed silence and they left in the same fashion. As they hurried down the road towards the park, Rins mood seemed to change. She frowned a bit more as they got closer and closer, until finally she looked like she was standing on the frontline of a battlefield.

“Bad, bad, bad, bad.” Rin said as they reached the park, turning in circles and surveying the land around them.

“What’s wrong, Rin?” Hisao asked. If she was afraid, then they all had good reason to be afraid.

“This place stinks of black magic. Something really bad is here. Or was here. Or is going to be here. Can’t tell.” She said in her usual broken manner of speaking.

“I’ll keep watch from the rooftops. Tell Emi hello for me.” Lilly said and then stepped back and moved her arms in a fluid set of movements. She then levitated up and landed lightly on the roof of a neighboring building. Jealousy gripped Hisao but he suppressed it. He would find other ways to help. You don’t need to be magic to help in this sort of situation…hopefully.

At exactly noon, one hour after she had said she would only be an hour, Emi rounded the corner into the park.

“Hey guys, Hisao, Rin, I’m here!” she exclaimed as she ran up to greet them. “What’s up, why are we meeting here and not at your hou-“ she started to ask but stopped short as she noticed Hanako.

“Hanako?! Oh wow you’re alive it’s so good to see you!” She yelled out and embraced her as if she was a long lost sibling.

“The feeling is mutual.” Hanako said as she carefully untangled herself from Emi’s grasp and said “Lilly sends her regards as well. She’s around.”

“I’m so glad you two are okay. Rin, what’s up? Why do you look constipated? Have you been eating right?” She asked plainly, ignoring any embarrassment the question could have caused.

“Huh? No. No constipation. Worried, is all. We have to go to Yamaku.” Rin said as she stared straight ahead into the center of the park.

“Why? That wasn’t the plan.” Hanako asked, her voice riddled with hesitance.

“Because. That’s where those things are coming from.” Rin said as she nodded towards the middle of the park.

As if on cue, the air shattered and a portal appeared. From it erupted another train, a Japanese Shinkansen 500. It’s pointed front split and showed rows of very sharp, deadly looking teeth. It bent as though it was made of rubber and let loose a screech that would wake the dead. From under it, hundreds of smaller creatures began to crawl out of the ground. Tentacled masses of writhing flesh, unnamed and from another world. Lovecraftian horrors of various types spilled through into their realm.

“Hanako, Emi. Take the little guys. Hanako, tell Lilly to aim for the underneath of the train when I set it up. She should be able to tell.” Rin said as she dashed forward, not even waiting for confirmation.

“Wh-what do I do?!” Hisao yelled, terrified.

“Just, uh. Don’t die.” Rin said and then was lost in the cacophony of battle.

“Hanako! Hold them off for a bit, I need to channel my summoning!” Emi said as she knelt on the ground.

“Roger.” Hanako said, producing a pair of long bladed daggers from her suit.

“E-Emi, you can use magic?!” Hisao asked. He had been told that she was also without the gift. But if she could also use it…and he couldn’t…the shame almost killed him. His heart was racing, dangerously approaching the breaking point.
“I’m really, really sorry Hisao, but you’ll be safer if I do this.” Emi said in a sad voice as she pointed at Hisao.

“Just wait, I’ll come get you when we’re done!” she yelled as a white light enveloped him.

When it was gone, he was inside of Emis laboratory. He slumped against the wall and let the tears rain down. It wasn’t fair. He was useless and his friends would have to fight alone. He couldn’t help…and it was killing him. He gripped his chest, remembering what Rin told him. A voice whispered, “Wait…A little more time, it’s all you need.” He steeled himself, eyes resolute. If he had to wait, he would wait. He just hoped it wouldn't be too long.

“Whatever you’re going to do, Emi, you’d better do it quickly.” Hanako said as she cut down a group of ether beasts.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m almost done! I smudged up a line and had to redraw the outlying circle, it’s really important because it filters in the positive energy of my summoning and lets me summon more at once. It’s an energy saving mechanism I came up with. It also increases the power of my summoned robots using an absorption matrix that I installed into their core, allowing for overclocking of their servos which makes them more deadly combatants. It’s a delay but it’ll make the fight easier.” Emi said in a rush, a hurricane of words.

“So, did the magic do that or were you always secretly intelligent?” Hanako asked when she had a breather in the battle.

“Magic, most definitely. I couldn’t even do long division before it. Now I run my own researching corporation. I build robots and weapons…like these.” She said with a grin as she pointed her hand to the sky and released a bolt of white energy. All around her, white orbs slammed into the ground and took form in the shape of humanoid robots, wielding blasters and laser swords.

“They’re controlled by my mind, too. It’s really neat. I’ll explain it to you some other time. If you wanted to take a rest, you can now. I’ll handle it from here.” She said with a broad grin as she stepped up to the front of the fight.

“Hmph.” Hanako sighed as she sheathed her blades.

Emi snapped her fingers.

Her army flew into action, forming a ring around the portal and the approaching monsters. Hundreds fell to precision blaster fire as the melee droids got into range to do their work. In a minute, the beasts were being pushed back. Two, they were receding into the hole. And by five, there was no trace of them left.

Emi snapped her fingers once more and her army dispersed into energy, returning to where she summoned them from. She turned to Hanako, grinning like an idiot, and gave her a big V for victory. Hanako smiled slightly. “Some things never change.” She said.

As this battle raged on, another battle was being fought in the air. The 500 was locked in combat with Rin, trading ethereal blasts in midair. They collided in the air causing shockwaves which broke the glass of surrounding buildings, Rin and the 500 searching for an opening in the others defense. Very little ground was made on either side. Rin landed on the side of a building, holding herself in place as she looked up at the 500 writhing in the air like a giant snake.
“I’m assuming you can hear me, Lilly, you have a stronger sensor for magic than the others. If you can hear, reflect the light of the sun at me.” Rin put the words out into the air, using her mind and not her mouth. She was met with a shining light in her eyes for a brief second.

“Good. I’m going to get this thing to turn over. One good shot right underneath it’s chin and it’s out. You’ll only get one shot and if you miss, I’m screwed. So make it count. One shine for yes, two for no.” The light glint again.
“Well, here we go then.” Rin said as she blasted off of the building, shattering the windows and leaving a large indentation where she was just standing. She put all of her energy into her right shoe and put it directly in front of her, using it to speed up her ascent towards the 500. It twisted around and glared at her, screaming in defiance. Now, all she needed to do was kick it and turn it over and that would…

Unfortunately, she didn’t get to finish that thought. The 500 whipped around and slapped her out of the air with its caboose, flinging her to the ground. She landed with an explosion and skid to a stop, barely conscious.

“Well crap.” Was all she could manage to say as the 500 descended upon her, mouth open in a vicious and deadly strike.

The wind shifted. A faint rustling of leaves could be heard.

The 500 collided with the ground where Rin was, throwing dust and dirt into the air. Nothing could be seen. Gradually, the dust cleared. There, where Rin once stood, was not Rin at all. Kenji was there, hand raised to the sky, holding the 500 up by its nose.

“It’s not polite to hit a girl while she’s on the ground.” He said.

He slammed the 500s mouth shut and grabbed it with both hands. He began to spin it around and around, going faster and faster.

“Now boarding all passengers on a one way ticket to hell.” He said as he flung the 500 directly up in the air. It spun around and around, like a devilish top. It stopped, its head rearing back as it yelled in anger.


Its yell was stopped short and it stopped moving. It hung there motionless for a moment and then plummeted to earth, turning to mist before it hit the ground.

“Kenji. That was, by far, the worst line I have ever heard you utter.” Rin said as she stood up from where Kenji had pushed her to.

“You have a weird way of saying thanks, woman.” He replied as he dusted off his hands. “Anyways, gangs all here. Might as well head out and get this over with before it’s too late. I don’t want to spend too much time with your kind anyways.” He said gruffly and strode to the entrance of the park.

“Good to see you too, Kenji.” Emi said with a pout.

“Some things never change.” Hanako said gruffly and walked past him.

“Huh, and some things do.” Kenji said as he regarded Hanako.

“We can all catch up after this is done. I traced the black leyline to its source. You’re going to love where it is.” Rin said, her tired features contorting into a weak grin.

“Lay it on me.” Kenji said, placing his hands on his hips.

“Yamaku. This is going to end right back at where it began.” Rin said, yawning fiercely. “We’ll take the train there, I could use a nap.”

“Let me get Hisao back. He’d die if we did this without him.” Emi said as she started channeling again.

“I’d die if he wasn’t here, too much estrogen in the air. Stifles a man’s soul.” Kenji complained as he stepped onto the sidewalk.

“Too much testosterone in the air turns perfectly reasonable people stupid. Best to keep a balance.” Hanako said with a slight glare as she shoved him aside and set off down the street.

“The last thing we need is a couple of lovebirds complicating this…” Rin said as she set off after them, yawning loudly again.

Hisao appeared in a flash of light. “C’mon, Hisao. We’re going to hit the enemy where it lives.” Emi said, wrapping her arms around his.

“Er, and where exactly is that?” Hisao asked uncomfortably, heart racing and blood rushing to his face.

“Yamaku. We’re going back.” Emi said, looking at the ground as the words left her mouth.

“I see…” Hisao said.

“It’s almost time. You will ascend. You are the one” the same ghostly voice whispered to him again. Beckoning. Promising. He looked ahead and steeled himself. It was time. His destiny lie ahead, he could feel it.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 5&6

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:21 am

It's not like, I'm not reading this... It's just that I haven't the foggiest idea what to say about it^^°
I guess I can't complain about magic after some of the stuff I wrote - and I won't - but the train thing is still a bit too much over the top even for me.
Writing is a lot better than in the first chapters, though.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 5&6

Post by whathaveicreated » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:51 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:It's not like, I'm not reading this... It's just that I haven't the foggiest idea what to say about it^^°
I guess I can't complain about magic after some of the stuff I wrote - and I won't - but the train thing is still a bit too much over the top even for me.
Writing is a lot better than in the first chapters, though.
Train thing is a bit over the top for me as well. Figured I should keep it consistent all the way through, though, so we get demonic trains.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 5&6

Post by griffon8 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:40 pm

I'm reading it too. Your writing is definitely better than in the first chapter. It's almost like you're fixing Old Shame.

Now where is Shizune?
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 5&6

Post by whathaveicreated » Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:10 am

Oh, she's around. Next act in fact.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 5&6

Post by whathaveicreated » Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:24 pm

Only two more left. Finally.

Act 7 – Whispers of a Maddening Happiness

Time was short; the ritual was coming to a close. More sacrifices had to be made. The walls of the hallway were streaked with lines of blood…some of the children did not go quietly. None escaped. None could escape. Such was the prison she had built, a perfect seal. One could enter yet one could never leave. The center of this place would be the epicenter for a cataclysmic shift in the course of time. The Light would return to this world after being denied entry just a few years ago. The girl bared her teeth viciously, remembering the events of that night. The savior of their world had almost arrived and that blasted girl, Rin and her cohorts, had stopped it at the last second. They didn’t know. They didn’t understand. They don’t see what she sees, hear what she hears.

A pause. A lapse. What was she doing? Apprehension, fear, loathing and anger begin to well up inside. The corpse of the child, a young blind girl in her teens, fell from her grasp and the dagger used to slaughter her clattered to the floor.

“What am I doing what’s happening to me this isn’t right, I’m the principal I’m supposed to protect these kids not k-“ she thought frantically, her mind filled with disgust and confusion.

Her confusion melted away. Light washed over her and a familiar presence appeared behind her, comforting her.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re doing the right thing. Remember, you’re saving them. Without this the entire universe is doomed.” The voice said as it placed a hand on her shoulder.

She relaxed. She didn’t know the voice. It had an air of familiarity, that of a long lost friend. It was comfort. It was peace.

She turned to look at the speaker.

A girl stood there, face awash in a bright light. This is how she always appeared. Looking at her was like trying to remember a phrase. It bites at the back of your tongue but your brain cannot grasp at the memory. Yet, there was a sense of peace in that light. A warmth. It was all the girl had left.

She had first shown up a week after the fateful night in Yamaku, a mere voice then, guiding the girl along her path. It was in this fashion that she became the principal of Yamaku. The entity needed that. It was very important, Yamaku was very important. It was under the voices instruction that the girl painstakingly constructed a large circle, a summoning circle that enclosed the entire school. The entity told the girl that it was here to deliver their world from a horrible fate. It had tried on that night but was rebuked by those who did not understand. This would not happen again. The circle was perfect, constructed carefully over the course of several years. All it needed now was fuel. Sacrifices must be made on the blood altar, to begin the ritual.

“That will do.” The entity said. The affirmation flowed over the girl, filling her with happiness. It was all she needed. All she wanted was for the voice to approve. She had no rhyme or reason why. It was just what needed to be.

“You should go get ready; we’re going to have some unexpected guests. They cannot interrupt me.” The entity said as it turned to leave.

The girl nodded.

“Entertain them as you see fit. Kill them if you have to.” It said again and began to dissipate.

Anything. She would do anything for this person.

It turned to face the girl, the light fading for a second.

There was no girl there. A black beast stood there with eyes of roaring flame and a mouth that spewed boiling pitch. It’s hateful, soulless gaze pierced the girl, freezing her in place. Its body was wreathed in a black wisp of shadow, constantly warping and contorting, concealing its horrific body.

In the next instant, it was gone. In its place stood a girl, pink hair bobbing slightly as she cocked her head to one side.

“Thanks for all the help, Shicchan! You’re earning some major brownie points, wahahaha~!” The girl exclaimed and began to dissipate.

Realization slammed into Shizune.


No. No. No.

She remembered. Not a savior. Not a light. Doom. Destruction. Darkness and the death of our world. It had taken Misha...taken her friend...her light...and tried to consume their planet but was stopped. She was being used, controlled. She had to escape. She had to break free and warn the others. She tried to run, but could not move her legs.

“There will be none of that.” Misha said in a voice far too deep for that of a girl, a voice filled with knowledge, deep and rumbling. Her face contorted into a vicious smile, rows of sharp teeth glinting.

“You are mine. Kill them.” It proclaimed, snapping its finger.

Shizunes mind went blank. She nodded. What was she doing!? Why couldn’t she move?! She slowly began to lose consciousness, feeling herself fading away from her own mind. She was a prisoner in her own body, unable to break the creatures hold. She turned and walked down the hall.

Their guests would be here soon. It would be rude to keep them waiting.
Last edited by whathaveicreated on Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 7

Post by moonpalace » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:09 am

Awww Shizune, how horrible for her :cry:

And hey, for what it's worth, it takes something special to interest me. The first chapter made me roll my eyes a bit but it was so different (and clearly spontaneous) that I couldn't stop reading. Then when all these new chapters came out, starting with Rin at the office, I was really impressed. It's like two different writers, the before and after picture.

Your action scenes are gripping and they keep me on edge. I'm relieved that there will be an end to this, though I'm also disappointed that it will end :( . That's how much I am enjoying it.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 7

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:55 am

Thank you for the kind words. I'll be finishing up the last 2 today and posting them.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 7

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:07 pm

One more to go.

Act 8 – Beginning of the End

Returning to Yamaku. Hisao had toyed with the idea in his head many times in the past. He wondered what it would be like to return and see that old school again. He always put the thought aside, calling it pointless and labeling himself a hopeless romantic, wanting for the old times. However, here they were. Preparing to go back. Rin had asked to return to her apartment to prepare quickly and here they were. She came out, wrapped in a large red cloak with intricate white designs around the shoulders that spread all the way down the back of the cloak. They seemed to shift if you stared at them directly, it was a bit disconcerting.

“Uh, what’s with the weird attire Rin?” Hisao asked, shaking his head to clear the slight nausea that built up from staring at the designs.

“It’s a cloak.” She said.

“Yea. I can see that. Why did we have to come back to get this, though?” He asked as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to clear the pain from his head.

“Well, I was cold. And it does other stuff too. It’s important, that’s all that is important.” She said as she kicked open the door.

“Let’s go, no time like the present.” She proclaimed as she stepped out of the room.

They made their way down to the street below, meeting up with the rest of their troop.

“What’s our plan?” Hanako asked, stowing the dagger she had been toying with inside of her coat.

“Dunno yet. We’ll have to adjust when we get there, there’s no telling what we’ll find.” Rin said, cracking her neck and stretching while she spoke.

“I hope Shizune is okay…” Emi said.

“We’ll save her. Don’t worry.” Rin said, “Ok, time to head out. We’ll go in through the front gate, nothing fancy. We need to survey the situation fully though, so be on your guard and be alert.”

They flagged a couple of taxis and hopped in, telling the driver where they needed to go. In a couple hours, they could see the school. It looked normal, just like it did all those years ago.

“Maybe it was just a mistake. Maybe it’s all fine!” Hisao said, hoping beyond hope that it was true.

“Hmph.” Is all Rin replied with, focused on the building before them.

They stepped out of the cab and paid their fare.

They lined up in front of the gate, staring forward into the school.

“Looks normal to me…” Hisao said.

“Too quiet.” Hanako replied.

“Agreed.” Affirmed Lilly.

“I am sensing the darkest, foulest magic I have ever felt since that night. There is nothing normal about this place.” Rin said. “Let’s head in. Be on your guard. Hisao, hang near the back.” She said as she started walking towards the gate.

As one, they crossed over the threshold and the world completely changed. The sky darkened, a faint red glow emanating from the building itself. The ground seemed to breathe, writhing masses of tentacles and burning pits were scattered across the landscape. The building itself was black, red veins running along the entirety of it like some sort of dark organ. The veins pulsed as though they had a heart beat.

“Told you it wasn’t normal, Hisao.” Rin said matter-of-factly.

Silence greeted her remark. Hisao stood there, trembling. What was he doing here?! He couldn’t use magic, there was no reason he should even be here. Fear gripped his heart like a vice, his legs screaming at him to run. His heart pounded. Pain shot through his arms. Familiar pain, his heart was acting up.

“Survive. You must pull through.” The voice returned. He gulped and took a deep breath, attempting to steady his heart. It was only partially successful, breathing was hard and walking was harder.

“Okay, I’ll head in through the front. Hanako, you take stock of the outer yard. Emi, go with her and be ready to summon in an instant. Lilly, you should take your pick of vantage points. Kenji, guard the back. And Hisao.” She paused as she looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry but you need to just hide. Go up there, on top of the mural. If anything comes at you, run.”

“O-okay.” He replied breathlessly and made his way up there, flopping onto the ground. He shuddered, breathing hard.

“I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.” He chanted to himself, closing his eyes and focusing on his heart beat. He would survive, at least.

“Welp, I’m going in.” Rin said. She took three steps towards the front doors and then, as if on cue, they flew open.

Shizune walked out onto the steps, looking down at the newly found intruders. She wore a black flowing gown, a slight dark mist coming out of the bottom. She held her arms out in greeting.

“Hello, my old friends. How nice of you to come visit and witness the return of our lord.” A voice echoed through the courtyard.

“Shizune! You’re okay! Thank God, I was so worried! How come you can talk?” Emi asked loudly, completely ignoring the dark appearance of their former friend.

“Emi, her mouth isn’t open.” Hanako replied, unsheathing a pair of daggers and falling into a combat stance.

“Shi-.” Emi said as she dug into her pack and pulled out her summoning tablet, which increased the volume and strength of her summoning spells.

“How very observant. This vessel has no voice for itself, so I speak for it.” The voice echoed again as Shizune paced from side to side, as though lecturing her gathered classmates.

“I don’t suppose that you and your foolish colleagues would agree to just leave, it would save this poor girl the trouble of killing you.” The voice sneered, derision apparent in its tone.

“Not a chance. I know you. You are Ruin. Doom. The root of all evil and the incarnation of the Wrong. I renounce you and all that you are and I, as Scion of this world, stand to defy you.” Rin said, her voice different. Changed. Brimming with ancient power, sounding wise beyond her years.

“HAHAHAHA! A girl as pathetic as you calls herself a Scion. You will see that is false. Slave, end them.” The presence disappeared. Shizune’s face contorted into a cruel smile and she snapped her fingers. At the other end of the courtyard, near the gate, several ripples in the air exploded into dark portals. From these portals streamed the same nether beasts they had fought before, writhing masses of tentacles, spikes and darkness. Darkness given form, with one purpose: to kill.

Emi began her summoning ritual and in an instant, they were surrounded by several hundred robots fit for battle. Emi was left in an extremely weakened state.

“Emi, hand me control of them.” Hanako said, surveying the battlefield. “In this situation a general is more valuable than a scientist. Trust me.”

“O..okay…” Emi said, struggling to stand. She placed her hand on Hanako’s shoulder, a corona of light surrounding them both for an instant. Hanako leapt atop a nearby tree and surveyed the courtyard below her. The beasts were converging there, it would be the main staging point for this battle. She smiled.

It resembled a very large chess board.

She worked quickly, sending out orders in her mind to the various troops of droids. The courtyard was made of 64 blocks total, eight squares wide and eight squares high.

“Troop A, A8. Troop B, B7. Troop C, C6. Troop D, D5. Troop E, E5. Troop F, F6. Troop G, G7. Troop H, H8.” She thought. It was as good of a defensive line as they were going to get. The droids launched into action, forming up exactly as she commanded; seeing the same chessboard she saw.

“Lilly, cover A4 through H4 and beyond, Kenji I need you in the middle at D and E 5.” She barked out across the courtyard.

“You always did like chess a little too much, woman.” He said, but begrudgingly got into position. “I don’t much approve of taking orders from a woman. I’ll let it slide this time, but next time you better believe I-“

“Are you quite done, imbecile, or are you going to sit there blabbering on while we are overrun?” She asked, glaring at him.

“No ma’m..” He said, defeated. “Damn her. Damn her for being so goddamn adorable when she’s mad.” He thought. “I’m going to need to meditate for a week after this is all said and done…”

Her lines were made, this is where they would stand and fight. Shizune raised her arms, black energy collecting in the palms of her hands. She shot a bolt at Rin and in unison, the beasts charged.

The first wave met in the middle. Kenji was a storm, flipping through their ranks ripping them in half and throwing them away. The droids were effective at disabling them as well. Their numbers were being cut down before they even reached the lines because of Lilly. If a droid fell, Emi would summon a new on in its place. She could manage that much, at least for now. Hanako remained atop her perch, examining the field. She kept a small reserve of droids in the back lines, moving them to where they were needed. They were holding the beasts back.

“All forces, advance one square.”

They stepped forward. Slowly, but surely, the army advanced, leaving a trail of corpses in its wake. Soon they were a short three squares away from the portals themselves.

“This is as controlled as it’s going to get, it’s up to rin no-“ She was interrupted by a huge explosion, the sound of the earth itself cracking open.

Rin fought fiercely, deflecting the initial salvo of dark energy from Shizune easily. She had a large amount of raw magic power, but no skill. It was like swinging with a large club; effective, but easily countered. Rin retaliated with her own blast, sending three javelins of energy directly at Shizune.

They struck home. Shizunes head disappeared along with her right arm and a portion of the left side of her torso. She was flung backwards and came to a halt suspended in midair, twitching slightly. Her body bent forward and she seemed to look at Rin in a headless gaze.

“…” All Rin could do was stare in stupefied silence. Then, Shizune began to reform, first the bone, then the muscles and the skin. In a matter of seconds, she was completely regenerated. She grinned madly, shooting more jets of dark energy towards Rin. Again, they were easily countered and again Shizune was pounded with bolts of energy. And again, she regenerated. Rin gathered as much strength as she could and focus it into one huge beam. It engulfed Shizune entirely.

“If that didn’t do it…” Rin said, gasping for breath.

To her horror, a figure slowly came into shape out of the cloud left behind by the blast. Bones re-grew and her skin was knit together again, her mad grin still etched upon her face.

“…it’s time, I guess. It’s my only shot.” Rin said as she stood up on shaking legs.

“It’s time. Arise, Hisao. Embrace destiny.” Hisao snapped to, jumping to his feet. He felt a pull and looked onwards toward the courtyard. Rin was staring at him.

Shizune held up her hand, dark energy coursing about her arm.

Rin smiled.

The wave hit her, engulfing her completely. In an instant, she was gone. Shreds of her cloak were all that remained.


She was dead.


She was gone.


He couldn’t accept it. Not her. She always had an idea. She was always there.

His heart skipped.

She couldn’t be gone. She couldn’t…die…they needed her.

His heart slowed.

“Accept your fate, Hisao. Become what you were meant to be.”

His heart stopped. He fell face first onto the ground. In front of him was a tattered remnant of Rin’s cloak, alighting on the ground. His vision darkened, edges becoming blurry. He was dying. He remembered his time with her. The scattered, random conversations, the words he never got to say to her…

“R-….Rin…..” He exhaled, his last breath leaving his body.

“Accept your fate.” The voice repeated.

He lay there, pondering it for a moment before the end took him.
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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 Act 7

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:45 pm

I had fun with this one. Epilogue coming up next.

Act 9 – Justice Arisen

He was surrounded by light. A tinkling noise could be heard, like a glass chime in the wind. A breeze blew. It was a beautiful day. The environment melted into a familiar place, the roof of Yamaku. He was sitting with Rin. They were seniors. He looked her in the eyes, scared to death of what may happen next. He didn’t say anything. She smiled and placed her head on his shoulder. The image faded, replaced by the sight of Yamaku’s courtyard.

She was dead. Gone. The only girl he’d ever loved, killed in an instant.

A fire sparked.

Why. Why did everything always end with suffering on his part?!

The fire strengthened.

She left him, exploring the world with her magic. He couldn’t follow. He wasn’t attuned.

The fire became a roaring tempest of flame.

No more. No more would he be hindered.

A heartbeat.

His eyes snapped open, vision swimming. The edges of his sight were blurry and red.

A second beat.

He felt hot. His skin was on fire. He pushed himself up somehow, surprised that he was even alive.

A third beat.

He looked at his hands. There were markings there, swirling and red, going up his arms. His shirt caught flame and disappeared, the markings etched into his entire body. They moved, danced, like flames.

A fourth beat.

His heart rate was rising. He was angry. He wanted revenge.

There was no pain.

“A locking mechanism…the strongest weapons must only be brought out when it’s completely necessary…” the voice echoed once more.

So that’s how it was. He was attuned all along, just dormant. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to rage about the unfairness of it all…

But there was something more important to do.

As he stood up, the building behind Shizune exploded. The ground shattered and from the wreckage of the school rose up a mountain. It flew up, defying gravity, and settled itself above the school. Dark tendrils were connected to the school below, forming a link for the summoning.

He had to stop it. Whatever that thing was, Rin had tried to stop it. It was evil. He could sense that, he could feel the magic now. He saw the lines going from Shizune into the sky. A puppet. She could be ignored, the puppetmaster was close. He stood up straight, looking directly at Shizune. She raised her hand at him.

A mistake.
Light flashed from his eyes, blowing her back against the wreckage of the school. She fell down, unconscious.

“Hisao?! Is that you?” Emi called out, starting to move towards him.

“You all stay here. I’m going to handle whatever is up there.” He said, moving immediately. He didn’t have time to explain to them what happened.

He kicked off of the ground, rocketing himself through the air. He landed on the side of the mountain. Dark energy assailed him, attempting to push him down. It was like a hurricane. He waved his hand, letting loose a torrent of bright energy, blowing away the darkness. He made his way to the top of the mountain and faced the creature that was behind all of this.

It stood in the middle of the flattened summit, in a pool of black. It had seven eyes and seven horns adorning its head. Each eye was red, a roaring furnace of rage and hate. Its body was disfigured, covered in spikes and inky black mist. It seemed to shift constantly, never keeping a constant form.

“Ah ha ha, the true Scion shows himself.” It growled, voice deep and brimming with primeval anger.

“I was beginning to grow bored. A safe summoning would be best, but it would be more efficient to destroy my opposition now.” It laughed, its laughter sounding more like a bestial howl.

“Wishful thinking on your part; you aren’t leaving this place alive.” Hisao said, taking a battle stance. How did he know this? Where did all of this knowledge come from?

“Tell me, child, does your gifted knowledge tell you who I am?” The beast mused, spreading its arms out wide.

“You are the apex of all things evil. The End Itself. Ruin. Many names label you and many foul deeds mark your passing.” Hisao said, returning Ruin’s gaze without hesitation.

“There’s a spark in you. I shall truly delight in putting it out!” The beast exclaimed as it leapt forward.

Its talons tore through the air and Hisao leapt out of the way. Its movements were a blur, almost too fast to see. Somehow, he dodged it. Without thinking, he summoned magic into his hand and shot a blinding white beam at Ruin. It was dodged easily, Ruin barked out in laughter at it.

“This world has a pathetic Scion if that’s the best you can do!” Ruin jeered, jaws widening as black-red energy grew inside of its maw. It blasted forth in a wide beam, cutting a swath across the mountain top. It left a huge tear in the ground.

Hisao landed, barely dodging the beam. There had to be something he could do…

A vision. A blade, awash in light. A golden sword.

He knew what he needed.

“It’s time to end this little game, boy.” Ruin said. It extended its arm, black energy crackling down from the sky, striking its hand. In it was now a long, red blade, constantly dripping blood.

Hisao needed a weapon.

He searched his mind. He put his hand forward and pushed all of his power into his next spell.

A white bolt of energy slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. He opened his eyes, slowly standing up in a daze. In his hands was a golden sword, shining brilliantly, a stark contrast to the dark surroundings.

“My, my, my. Boy, do you even know what you are?” Ruin asked, chuckling.

He did.

“I am the Light. I am the Destroyer of Evil, the Dragon. The Radiant Son. I am representative of all good in the world. Your antithesis.” He leveled the blade at Ruin.

“Your doom.”

Ruin cackled as Hisao charged. Their blades met in a shower of energy.

Swing after swing, every hit caused the mountaintop to be destroyed and then remade.

A stalemate.

“YOU. ARE. NOTHING!!” Ruin screamed, stabbing viciously at Hisao.

“I AM THE SOUL OF EVERY HERO. THE LIGHT OF EVERY SOUL. THE SENSE OF ORDER IN ENTROPY.” Hisao yelled back, evading the stab and backhanding Ruin. Ruin skid to a stop at the other end of the summit.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHH” Ruin let forth a bestial yell as he leapt to his feet.

He was met by a kick from Hisao, slamming Ruin back down.

“I AM A MANIFESTATION OF EVERY HERO THAT EVER COULD BE OR EVER WAS!” Hisao proclaimed. In the air around him, phantoms began to appear. Heroes of tales long past and tales that were yet to be woven.

A man with wild black hair and a bandana.

A girl with long, orange hair and orange sunglasses.

A woman with short blonde hair, in regal alabaster armor.

A man in a power suit, red wings splayed across the sky, wreathed in flame.


More phantoms appeared. The sky was covered in them, all gathering behind Hisao.

“This is the end, Ruin.” Hisao proclaimed, leveling the sword once more.


“And I will be waiting, to destroy you again. I am the light…I am your opposite…




Hisao bellowed as he swung his blade, a band of light emanating out of the tip, expanding rapidly.

The phantoms joined in, each throwing their most powerful attack at the being of darkness before them. The air was filled with their cries.





The phantoms attacks joined with Hisao’s, creating a beam of pure white. It struck into the heart of Ruin.

He shattered.

The mountain began to crumble, falling back to Earth. White light began to wash over the environment, cleansing away the darkness of the night.

“Rin…it’s over.” Hisao whispered. The last thing he saw was her face, smiling at him from the light.

“It’s never over.” She said with a wink.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 The End

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:58 pm


Epilogue – Voice and Peace

The light faded. Sunlight beamed down on the field of flowers that used to be the courtyard of Yamaku. Wildflowers bloomed now, covering the ground like a thick carpet. The school was reformed. Time would alter itself to make up for the events here.

One by one, they awoke. The light had taken their consciousness to shield them from time healing itself from the large wound that was dealt to it by Ruin ripping his way into this world.

Kenji, Emi, Hanako and Lilly awoke on the edge of the field. They exchanged glances, remembering all that had happened. They knew of Hisao. Of Justice. They didn’t speak. They had lost so much. Words were not necessary.

There, in the middle of the field, was a surprising sight.

Shizune sat there, with a familiar head in her lap. Misha lay there, crying profusely.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…” She bawled over and over, burying her head into Shizune’s shirt.

“…it’s alright…” said a timid voice. A quiet voice.

Shizune’s voice.

Misha looked up in wide eyed wonder and embraced her friend. Her head reforming in her battle with Rin had healed her disabilities. There was some good in this horrible situation after all.

“Is Hisao..” Emi started to ask…

“We don’t know.” Hanako replied gruffly.

“If he wants to return, he will.” Lilly said, smiling slightly at Emi. She had to at least try to comfort the poor girl.

On the other side of the school, Hisao awoke.

He rubbed his eyes, feeling as though he had slept for decades. The markings on his arm were no longer red, they were gray. A reminder of what he was. What he had to be.

He shook his head. That didn’t matter. He would do it, could do it but…

She was gone.

He put his head back against the wall and sighed, tears welling up in his eyes.

She was gone.

He began to cry.

She was gone.

He fell over backwards.

He let out a surprised yelp as the wall gave way and he fell on his back.

Looking directly up at the sky, he saw a face shadowed by the sun. It bent down slowly, looking at him with a cocked head.

It was Rin.

She was smiling at him.

“Rin…” He managed to say.

She winked.

“I have…a terrible headache.” He said.

“Are you hungry?” She asked.

“What does that have to do with a headache?” He asked back.

“Nothing.” She said, smiling.

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 The End

Post by griffon8 » Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:52 pm

Finished, huh?

Cutting it close there. Good to get it done before the release.

To say the way fanfics will be written after release will be different is a bit of an understatement I think.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: Choo Choo! Part 3 The End

Post by whathaveicreated » Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:57 pm

I just wanted to get this done before ks/school. I'd been putting it off for too long as well, so I just decided to write all of them in one go so I could get it done before the 4th. Quality probably suffered a bit, but I can live with it.

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