Welp, I don't know how this will go but here it is.
First of all, I think an introduction is customary, since I'm relatively new to the forums even though I'm a long time fan of the VN. I read KS way back in 2013-14 when I was but a teenager and didn't even know what a VN was. Even though I was a seemingly healthy teen (we'll get back to that) the themes and especially Rin's characterization immediately struck a chord with me (we'll get back to that too). Flash forward a couple years, after an autism and an Ehlers-Danlos syndrome diagnoses and right after moving in with my girlfriend I decided to download the novel on my Steam Deck to read it again with having-seen-some-shit eyes, expecting little more than shock value and an uncomfortable representation of disability and sexuality.
Of course, I was incredibly wrong, and happily so! Not only did I understand why I liked Rin so much, but I thoroughly enjoyed the tasteful portrayal of disability and everything it entails, even after having lived through a lot of the things the novel talks about. Also, media is still after all these years so incredibly afraid of, well, disabled people getting some. Using a cane doesn't mean I'm a sexless angel that needs to have relationships explained to them like a child, so in that sense a 10+ year old novel is still painfully refreshing.
Upon finishing the routes I wanted to I, as the raging lesbian I am, dutifully browsed fanfic sites in search of Emi/Rin fanfic... only to find that it's apparently incredibly niche and that nothing more than a couple oneshots and short stories had been published. Now, I'm not a fiction writer, not by any stretch; these muscles are stiff, so I'm going to apologize in advance for any stumbles I may have in writing this fanfic. But I want to do it nonetheless, and if anyone else finds any of it enjoyable well, that's a very nice bonus!
Just some finishing words: I'm a Spaniard and as such, not a native English speaker, so if anything sounds a bit weird or off feel free to point it out! I'm also not going to focus so much on "worldbuilding" or creating a believable and well researched space because I want to focus squarely on characters. Also, the chapters are really short because they're easier for me to write and I have a short attention span. Finally, I'm publishing this first on AO3, but the version on these forums will be the edited and revised one and will probably lag behind, but will hopefully be better as a result. In any case, any feedback is welcome!
INDEX
CHAPTER 1 (this post)
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
TL;DR: disabled lesbian tries to write a fanfic about Emi and Rin, please be kind
And with that,
CHAPTER 1
Light started appearing through the curtains, marking the beginning of another long day, at least for one of them. Emi never needed an alarm to wake up, and proudly so. Mornings are always the best part of the entire day, because that’s when she’s able to get the entire track for herself, even in a faculty with the bulk of students majoring in sports sciences. Trying not to make too much noise (as if that would make a difference) she puts on her tracksuit and her running legs, and off she goes.
As expected, the track is empty, which gives her free reign to run… and be alone with her own thoughts. Something’s been happening as of late: she’s been looking forward to running as much as finishing her morning laps. Not that a thought like that has made her go any slower; if anything, the distraction and the dangling prize at the end makes her go even faster.
The sticky clothes and slow arrival of other students signal the time to return to her dorm. Still trying to be as sneaky as possible she manages to reach her roommate’s bed, kneeling so as to be face to face.
“Hey,” she says in a soft but slightly loud tone. Of course, no response. Why does she even try not to be heard in the morning?
“Hey?” Only a snore in response. Well, that’s better, somehow. “RIN.”
“Hey,” she responds, as if she’d been awake the whole time. “Why are you shouting? I’m already awake”
“You were snoring”
“People snore when they’re awake,” a statement that, as usual with Rin, isn’t strictly false. “Did you go running already?”
“Why would I be waking you up if I didn’t?”
“Maybe there’s a fire. That would explain the blinding light.”
“But that’s the Sun.”
“Another valid explanation.”
Emi had become used to these sorts of conversations ages ago. Trying to follow Rin’s train of thought had become a game of logic cat and mouse, and a fun one at that.
“Wanna get ready to go to class?” asks Emi in her typically enthusiastic tone.
Answering seems too much of a hassle for Rin, who just straightens herself up. No words are needed, as Emi already knows exactly what to do.
The rest of the morning goes as expected. One semester later and Emi is still trying to figure out how could anyone manage to make something as fun as exercise so incredibly boring. At least it’s lunch time, which means it’s time to meet with Rin again. Sometimes Emi misses the feeling of having a ‘spot’ in the form of a roof, someplace to just be alone with her food… and Rin, of course. Some people may think that being with Rin would be basically the same thing as being by oneself, but nothing further from the truth. Emi and Rin may be on different wavelengths of thought, but one cannot conceive the beauty of the rainbow fully realized with a single color.
They meet in a small park near campus, which while not as isolated as Yamaku’s roof still gives them some privacy and space away from their fellow students.
“Did you have a good morning, Rin?” Emi always starts lunch with these words, a surefire way to get Rin’s synapses firing to produce thoughts that rarely have to do with the question asked.
“I did not know the human body had so many parts.”
Rin obviously isn’t studying any degree in particular, let alone anything related to art. While her arts grant is paying for her student fees and residence on campus, she’s chosen to take a variety of courses, ranging from physics to architecture or medicine. In this case, Emi guesses, she’s talking about the latter.
“Yeah, right? So many organs and muscles, it’s kind of irritating,” Emi responds, trying to follow where she’s going. At least this is a subject they have in common.
“I mean, does a leg cell know it belongs to a leg? Does it know about eyes?”
“About eyes?”
“They would get along,” she retorts, matter-of-factly.
Silence follows, but not the awkward kind. Rin is eating without uttering a word, very focused on her food, while Emi just observes.
“Do you miss Yamaku?”
Rin’s straightforward question catches Emi off-guard.
“Well… sometimes. I miss having a nurse on premises, not having to take a bus to go to the doctor, and-”
“Not that”, Rin interjects, “I mean Yamaku, not Yamaku’s things. I miss Yamaku”
“What do you miss about it?”
“Yamaku.”
“Its people?”
“That too.”
Emi stops to wonder what Yamaku really means, if anything. But in some capacity, Rin’s right. Commodities were nice, but not what keeps her thinking about the academy. The people? It’s true that they get way more looks and uncomfortable questions now that they’re in university, but it’s not like she wasn’t used to that before. Maybe it’s just the nostalgia of times past.
“I’m glad I managed to keep you close, though,” Emi concludes.
“Me too.”
Rin’s words of affection are hard to come by, and while she shows it in other ways, Emi holds a special place in her memory for them.
Time has flown by, as it usually happens when they’re together, and they each have to get back to class. Emi’s not in the mood for paying attention, especially after the conversation she just had with Rin. She keeps going at it in her head: what does she miss about Yamaku? There’s one thing that her mind keeps coming back to, but it doesn’t seem to make much sense. Why would she miss Rin? She’s right there, they’re even sharing a room now. It’s not like she’s changed that much, she’s the same head-in-the-clouds but incredibly insightful kind of person. Still, she isn’t able to avoid coming back to that thought, again and again.
Afternoon classes end without much fanfare and Emi goes straight to the library. Finals aren’t anywhere close, but her notes are starting to pile up… even though she spends most days at the library. Why was she doing this again? Whose idea was it to join sport and science in a single phrase? Who’s the audience exactly? Hours go past her like the wind on a good sprint until she’s too tired to keep going, well into the night. She keeps getting surprised at how much more tiring it is to study than to run.
Rin is in their room when she arrives, studying. Or something like that. Three books, fifty browser tabs, what seems like a History podcast and Rin trying to go at it all at once. When she finally realizes Emi is staring at her with a wide smile on her face she opens her mouth.
“I was waiting for you, I want to go to sleep.”
“Hello to you too, Rin.”
“Hello.”
Of course Emi gets right into action. She unbuttons Rin’s shirt, gets her jeans off and helps her put her pajamas on. They brush their teeth together, as they usually do, and get to their respective beds, not a single word exchanged. No need, really. Emi takes her legs off, probably the second best time of the day after her morning run, and gets under her sheets.
“Good night, Emi,” says Rin, following her night ritual.
“Night, Rin.”
Rin falls asleep fast. Really fast. Emi usually follows suit, but not tonight. She’s staring right at the ceiling, eyes wide open. It finally dawned on her and there’s no way she’s thinking about anything else in the next eight hours.
