"Like those tiny seeds scattered into the wind, I'm sure that Rin too can take her place in this world without the need to create her own inside of it."
Foreword
Before we begin, I would just like to say a few things to lay out the groundwork for this story. I was partially inspired by Sisterhood , though this will probably not be as well developed or as well written, as I don't have much experience with fanfiction. I think I also need help with formatting, where to put lines of dialogue, etc. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
I haven't really read any fan fiction based on Rin's story either, so I would like to try and take a crack at it and see how I do. I did feel that the original story wrapped things up nicely, but I don't think that a continuation would hurt, of course. I'd also like to point out that I borrow some elements of Sisterhood as well for this story, the changing perspective mostly, as I thought it was really interesting and made for a dynamic narrative that I haven't really seen in other fanfics. If I could reach out to the author I would like to ask if I could use the music application they made for use on this story later down the line hopefully.
This continues about three days after the events of Rin's good ending. Music suggestions will be spoiler tagged like this. You can supplement whatever music you'd like, but I know many enjoy the original KS OST, so there's that. Some of this story contains NSFW material. I'll try and update it regularly though I'm not going to rush myself. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Index
Chapter 1: As Above (Rin)
Chapter 2: Show & Tell (Hisao)
Chapter 3: Stretching (Emi)
Chapter 4: Cloud Walking (Unreleased)
Chapter 1: As Above (Rin)
Nocturne
Love. An alien word. Extraterrestrial. Not like a little green person. Like flying so far away that you forget where your home planet is. Like looking into a mirror and seeing someone else. It is a concept that is difficult for me to process, or even comprehend. When I see him, my skin and eyes feel like they're going to burst from the pressure, an explosion of feelings and passion, and everything all at once. In what way I need to express those feelings, to relieve the pressure, is a mystery to me still, a mystery that I'm trying to grasp. Grasping for hay in a needle stack. I try to collect my thoughts.
Painting helped, I think. To relieve the pressure. It was the only thing I knew how to do, and to some extent, this is still true. Like how some people just know how to ride a bike, or swim, or sing. But it hurt, taking a round cookie cutter piece of my flesh every time I grabbed a brush between my toes. Maybe I am getting better at expression and I can't recognize it. I'm unsure.
Round...
Oranges...
He likes oranges, I think. I remember when he peeled them for me in Sae's atelier. I like oranges too. I can't peel them on my own yet. I don't want to learn, either. I'm remembering those nights we spent together. The cigarettes'. The rain obscuring the window. A domino of memories. My eyes shut.
The sun is making my hair warm. I turn my head towards the window. A bird is perched on a thin branch. I study it. It's small and round like it ate too much birdseed in one go. The light brown feathers it grooms create an earthy hue, and it mesmerizes me. For a moment, it's only me and this bird, separated by a pane of glass and a chasm.
I snap awake.
Wrinkled hands clap together in front of me, but not loud enough to startle me.
"Miss Tezuka," She barks. "Are you paying attention?"
My head turns towards her and I nod. I blink a few times, closing my eyes tightly. I'm unsure of what she expects of me. She emphasized the word 'attention'. Do I owe her an attention, like a debt? I don't remember borrowing any attentions. She goes back to standing in front of the chalkboard, heels clicking. I glance one more time at the bird outside of the window next to my seat. It flies away, rattling the leaves as the breeze carries it. My eyes return to the classroom.
Mrs. Ito is an older woman, with greying hair and a pension for speaking too loudly. Maybe she's partially deaf. I don't see a hearing aid, so not likely. Her forehead is large, and her nose looks like it's misshapen in a few places. The sparkly jewelry she wears sometimes glints and it blinds me. She wears a business suit, complete with those dark leggings that office workers like to wear. Far too fancy for Yamaku.
"So, as I was saying,"
She trails off, the information continuing to go in one ear and out of the other, a stream of nonsense that I'm too distracted to listen to. I stare down at the desk in front of me. It looks like it's been through multiple wars, with carvings and symbols that you would expect high schoolers to chisel into the ancient-looking wood. "R+A, Nana wuz here, school sucks," it all blends together into a motif that feels like a time pod to another era. I try to imagine myself back there, at the moment someone would leave their mark on this desk. I shut my eyes tight. It's too difficult, so I give up.
"Pssstt..."
A barely audible sprinkle. Sounds like someone poked a hole in a garden hose. I perk my head up slightly, but still focus on the desk, trying to ignore the sound.
"Hey..."
I look to my left, where the noise came from. My eyes meet hers. Miki. I've seen her around. I know that she's in Hisao's class, but never exchanged greetings or even looked in her direction like people who talk usually do. I also never paid any mind that she chose to sit next to me, of all people. Strange.
Her skin is more tan than I realized, and her hair is draped across the back of her chair, nearly touching the floor. I think about what it would be like if my hair was that long. A nightmare. Her speech is a barely audible whisper, and I have to lean in slightly to hear what she's saying.
"So, you're in this class too?"
Of course I am. Why would I be here otherwise? Her head snaps to the teacher, who seems to have somehow noticed and is holding a meterstick and staring daggers at her. Impressive hearing. Creepy. Miki sits up straight, smiling cheekily. I continue to zone out, still thinking about the motif of the desk. My thoughts trail off...
Summer...
Something about the word annoys me. Something else about the word makes me feel warm. Not how it sounds, but how it feels in my brain. I feel myself burning up every time it pops into my cranium. Maybe it's my hair. I need a hat. A big sun hat.
Pencil scratching. Is this what summer is about? Sitting in a class, oblivious to the lessons that the teacher is regurgitating? A sporty girl buzzing in your ear? Mundane.
I feel a quick but soft poke in my side. I turn to Miki again. She's holding a piece of notepaper below her waist that looks like it's been through a washing machine twelve times. Something is written on it. It's difficult to read, but somehow I manage to make out the chicken scratches that she scrawled onto the abused sheet of paper.
'Meet me after class'
Everyday Fantasy
The rest of the summer class goes by quietly. Mrs. Ito scolds a guy in a scarf. I think I recognize him. Maybe not. The other ten students (I counted) file out. An atmosphere of laziness fills the air. A sleepy feeling takes me over as well. I stand up and stretch, yawning. I'm the last one out of the classroom, naturally. Once I exit into the hall, I spot Miki standing on the opposite wall, arms crossed.
She smiles at me, putting her hand on her hips. I take notice of the bandaged stump of where her other hand is supposed to be. I've seen it before, but never this close. A little boring, I expected something more exciting. A third hand maybe. I wonder if she's hiding anything in there. She continues to grin at me, an awkward silence falling as the other students fade into the background. Miki pipes up, her smile still spreading from the corners of her mouth. Too friendly.
"Wanna grab lunch?"
A surprise. Never been invited to lunch by anyone other than Emi and Hisao. What does she want with me? I don't think I look that interesting. I'm supposed to talk to Hisao after class too. Formulating my thoughts. A very long blink. Too much on my plate. Decline.
"Tomorrow."
Miki makes a face. I can't tell what emotion it's meant to convey. It looks like she tasted something too sweet. Was it wrong to decline her? I'm not sure, but she lets out a simple,
"Alright, see ya then."
She turns around and power walks down the barren halls of the school. I'm left standing, complete silence save for Mrs. Ito still shifting around in the classroom behind me.
My slow walk through the school leaves me pondering about not just today, but the days ahead as well. I place my hope in the fact that it won't be like this all the time, but doubt plants its roots in me. I'm anchored to the ground.
Halfway down the stairs, I shake my head briskly, trying to evict the butterflies. They've been there for a while. I think I invited them in. They always make me nervous. Something about their fluttering puts me on edge. Especially today. Their rent is overdue.
Trudging through the empty campus, I notice something I haven't before. The summer breeze carries a tune around the school. Perhaps so many people talking was enough to mask it, but now that I listen, I enjoy it. Maybe that's the special thing about summer. Is it music? Music has never appealed to me. Too much noise makes me lose what little focus I have.
I look up at the sky for a moment. The sun is high. The clouds are sparse, but those that remain are wispy and dreamlike like someone dragged a brush across the sky and smeared them until they faded into the background of the painting. Painting. I want to paint. Maybe tomorrow. Depends.
Summer...
Never could I imagine a stranger few weeks. It all became a blur some time ago, but now that I think about everything that transpired, I wouldn't want to change anything about it. No one can change anything about the past, I don't think. Maybe they can, and it's just hidden from everyone. I hope not.
No Music
I make my way to the boys' dorm, the color of the walls an earthy shade of brown, just like the bird I spotted in class today. A coincidence? Most likely. There are still a few students in the boy's dorm, some of them packing their things, others lounging around. I wonder if they're stuck here for the same reason I am.
I'm standing in front of Hisao's door. A feeling wells up in the pit of my stomach. I shift around on my feet. Is this what it means when people say they have a frog in their throat?
I kick the door lightly. Shuffling. A familiar sound. The doorknob rattles. The creaking of the hinges puts me on edge. I get a glimpse of messy hair and brown eyes through the crack in the door.
"Oh, come in!"
There's a familiar tone to his speech. It's strange. Different from other people, I feel like. I can never pin down exactly what about it is different, though. More research is required.
It's the same as it always has been. Hisao's room. Plain. The first time I entered, I expected some kind of cheesy motivational poster. A candle perhaps. Maybe something more interesting, like a birdcage or a water bed. It smells like a library in here. Not a bad smell. But murky, like a swamp. I've never been to a swamp, but that's what I imagine it smells like. I sit on his bed. The sheets are perfectly made, unsurprisingly. It's familiar. Most of the rooms have the same bed. But his feels warmer.
He shuts the door, pausing with his hand still gripping the handle. He's wearing a sweater vest and pants I would expect a school teacher or a clerk to wear. An interesting look, I guess. I don't judge. He lets go of the knob and sits next to me. I can feel the heat rising already. Hisao has been busy for some reason these last three days. This is the first time we've been this close since that day the rain obscured the window. I missed this...
"So, how was class?"
He sounds like my mom. It's not annoying, but it feels personal, I guess.
I think about my time spent in class. It wasn't awful. But not good either. I fidget a little and wiggle my toes.
"Fine."
Is that all I can really say? I guess it could be worse. I notice Hisao breathe in and out heavily.
"I saw a bird today."
Deflecting the topic. Nice job, Rin. Thank you, Rin. You're welcome, Rin.
I think again. It's a tough subject. I didn't really listen at all. There was Miki too. A few seconds pass and I'm left wandering in my sea of thoughts. A vertical sea. Is vertical sea the right word? Horizontal sea doesn't sound deep and dark enough. It needs to have weird fish living in it.
Hisao stands up and looms over me. He looks quite imposing like this, like a tree about to fall over. He crosses his arms. Did I say something wrong? Is it about the bird? Words begin to flow freely in my brain. A tidal wave, crashing at the shores of my mind. I start to worry.
Before my thoughts have enough time to escape from my mouth, his lips meet mine. For just a moment the heat of our bodies becomes one. It feels like our own piece of nirvana. He pulls back from the embrace.
"I'll help you study tomorrow, alright?"
I nod. Hisao sits at his desk chair a few feet away. He's hunched over, his posture more serious than the situation we find ourselves in. Like he just got a call from a dead person. The kiss still lingers on my lips, tantalizing.
"Did you get a call from a dead person?" I say. Once again, my social prowess is impeccable.
No Music
"Rin?"
His tone is serious now, I think. Our eyes meet, blush still painting the canvas of my face. That kiss caught me off guard.
"What?"
"I said I would stay for the summer to help you study, right?"
I nod. He's making it seem like it's going to be something serious. What could he say now that would call for something like this? Maybe the end of the world. Or it's about his heart thing. I forget what it's called. I should ask him about it again.
He takes an impossibly deep breath, his chest expanding. An awkward silence envelops us for a moment before he speaks again.
"My parents are coming to visit..."