Riposte (Rika Story) (Completed)

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PsychicSpy
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 1:34 am

Re: Riposte (Rika Story) (Completed)

Post by PsychicSpy » Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:50 pm

Wow. Since I've joined the community, I've heard a lot about Riposte. Now that I've read it and thought about it, I figured I would share my thoughts.



I will say: Rika is unlikable in the early chapters. Kinda a dickhead, but if I'm being honest, I have dated a Rika. Personally, I ended up wounded from that type of behavior, but it's entirely possible that your Rika is actually a better person (somewhat shown in later chapters) than my ex.

But at the end of the day, my main criticism is Hisao's characterization. I personally do think he would be more rational, though I believe that you do give very good reasons for why he wouldn't be, and because you stayed consistent with your stated Hisao's personality throughout the story, I think you can get a pass on that. Some Hisaos are rational; others less so. I'm not going to go after you hard on that, because often he does make decisions based on his emotions (running to see Rin when she repeatedly asks him not to is the particular instance I have in mind). You've heard alot about this subject and I think you've thought about it and what you want, and I'm not going to fault you for choosing to make your Hisao this way, because there is evidence he could be like this.

As far as cursing goes, you've heard it all already, and you've discussed how you would handle it otherwise, so I'm not going to get into that.

I also felt the ending with Saki in the showers was a little quick to end a story, especially because there's a comedic feel to it while the rest of the story seems a little more serious.




Now, my positives on this story:

Ending chapters were cute overall. I liked the way Rika is revealed to be much more caring than let on, and I felt that it really "redeemed" her character. Loved how sweet Rika was with Hisao.
Hanako Fancopter wrote:
Tue Oct 15, 2019 12:46 am
The "Big Sexy" thing is an ascended meme that I decided to play around with a bit. The implication is that Miki fakes being hurt over Hisao calling her on it to troll him, though you could also interpret it as her trying to force her way past the insecurity by just continuing to say it anyways. In a way, this mirrors how memes are funny once or twice, then grow stale and grating over time, but inevitably continue to be used anyways whether you like them or not.
This ^. I appreciated this part, because I agree. I actually attributed the symbolism to the same way. Big Sexy is pretty grating, but Miki is also the perfect character to communicate this point because she is more self-confident and I think as far as Miki goes, you nailed her character (just like Hisao! Hehe).

Edgy Rika was a nice take, especially in contrast to how characters in KS normally act, and I find the edginess to be realistic for somebody who has accepted her fate and been through some shit.

As usual, your writing is technically very sound.



I have a few questions of you, none of which you need to answer, but that would be interesting for me to know:

How far in advance did you have the last three chapters planned out? Did the feedback towards Rika shape how the story ended at all?

When did you decide that Saki would fool around with Rika?

Did you enjoy writing this as much as many enjoy reading it?



Overall, I enjoyed this. I appreciate that it isn't standard fare for KS stories, and I can see why people speak highly of it.
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Hanako Fancopter
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Re: Riposte (Rika Story) (Completed)

Post by Hanako Fancopter » Sun Jan 19, 2020 2:17 pm

PsychicSpy wrote:
Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:50 pm
Wow. Since I've joined the community, I've heard a lot about Riposte. Now that I've read it and thought about it, I figured I would share my thoughts.



I will say: Rika is unlikable in the early chapters. Kinda a dickhead, but if I'm being honest, I have dated a Rika. Personally, I ended up wounded from that type of behavior, but it's entirely possible that your Rika is actually a better person (somewhat shown in later chapters) than my ex.

I also felt the ending with Saki in the showers was a little quick to end a story, especially because there's a comedic feel to it while the rest of the story seems a little more serious.
Rika might not be a better person at all, my goal was just to give her some humanity, but never to really be like "oh look she's a wonderful person on the inside" because she almost certainly isn't. I agree the ending was a bit abrupt which was a downside of me deliberately limiting the story's length. There is a strong argument that I should have let it play out naturally for at least a few more chapters. Who knows maybe one day I will write the "True Edition" or something.
I have a few questions of you, none of which you need to answer, but that would be interesting for me to know:

How far in advance did you have the last three chapters planned out? Did the feedback towards Rika shape how the story ended at all?

When did you decide that Saki would fool around with Rika?

Did you enjoy writing this as much as many enjoy reading it?
I really didn't plan out anything about the ending. I don't tend to plan out how stories will end with the exception of smut one shots, and even then the only extent of the "plan" is that at some point they get nekkid and b0rk. I would say I had a much better idea of what the first half would be like than the second half when I started writing. There were things that I had in mind at certain points for like 2 chapters down the road that I ended up not doing because they just didn't seem like I could fit in.

One thing that I did know from the start would be that Saki would fool around with Rika. Many ideas I had for this ended up not happening due to length concerns. Originally there would not be as much drama about Rika's letting down her emotional guard with Hisao, and there would be more drama involving sexual jealousy on both their parts. On the other hand, I did not plan the Miki subplot at all, I just kind of stumbled into it, and it consumed space that probably would've otherwise gone towards expanding the Saki angle.

I enjoyed writing it probably more than I should have. As you may be able to tell from my other comments, this is seen as a meme/edgy/out-there fic, but from my perspective I toned it down a lot to try and give it some degree of believe-ability, compared to where I really could have gone with it.
Overall, I enjoyed this. I appreciate that it isn't standard fare for KS stories, and I can see why people speak highly of it.
Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment!
An Unusual Friendship (Misha x Hanako Route)
Riposte (Rika Mini-Route)
One-Shots Thread (Random Smut/Meme Stories)

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