Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑
Fri Jul 26, 2019 9:31 am
Then nothing Hisao does after that actually counts as his behavior, according to this logic,
No, it doesn't but since you seem to be either unable or unwilling to understand the point I was trying to make I see no reason to continue this discussion.
You asked for feedback, but if you're not willing to accept it afterwards I have better uses for my time than to continue to give it.
You didn't give feedback, you posted "it's terrible so I stopped reading" followed by "oh yeah i like everything that guy said" after another poster came in and actually did provide substantive feedback (despite later going on to claim that you don't share Oddball's opinions after all when it became expedient to do so). Your only "feedback" has been to stubbornly contradict whatever I say to justify anything I did. You don't seem interested in engaging with the content or providing suggestions.
Secondly, I'm not obligated to accept "feedback" that I find to be poorly motivated, in the same way that you aren't obligated to enjoy my writing.
And lastly, no, I did not ask for feedback. I appreciate it if it's genuine, but in your case I knew what it would be before I even wrote the story (I was surprised that you actually tried to read it, although you did still stop at the second chapter).
Anyways... here are the final chapters!
I wake up in a familiar position: Curled up around a naked girl, trying to extract warmth from her on account of her hogging the sheets.
“Mmm…” I murmur sleepily, feeling around for the edges of the little cocoon she’s made. Rika is always so greedy in bed, I think. In more ways than one. There it is… I slip my hands inside and wrap them around her waist.
“C’mon, share the sheets…” I implore, working my hands up to her chest. Something’s… not right…
I squeeze one of the breasts I’ve found, simultaneously reveling in its size and wondering at how Rika gained five cups sizes overnight. The girl next to me lets out a laugh. Not Rika’s brief bark, but loud and long. Not Rika at all!
“Having fun, loverboy?” Miki says, flipping over to face me and throwing the covers over both of us, plunging us suddenly into darkness.
“Ackk!!” I protest as she grabs my face and smushes it into her chest. It feels amazing
, but I also can’t breathe. Kind of annoying, that. After yanking feebly on her shoulders a few times she finally lets me come up for air. We both pop our heads out from the sheets to face each other, one pillow for me and one for her. As I remember the events of last night I raise my hands up off her skin, hovering them awkwardly around her body.
“Pffttt. What, can’t touch me now?” Miki teases me.
She has a point. What the hell am I doing right now? I need to figure that out. I’m not gonna screw this up again
… or at least, I’m gonna try to screw it up less badly.
“Okay. What are we?” I ask Miki.
“Umm… a couple of hungover horndogs?” she offers.
“Well yeah, but I mean, like… are we an item?”
She narrows her eyes.
“What’s an ‘item?’” she asks.
“I don’t know, you know, uhh! A couple!”
“Oh yeah, nope. No way no how. No c-word, no d-word, no r-word!” she says. “Big Sexy is only about the f-word. Maybe with a ‘w’ and a ‘b’ tacked on, for you. That thing you did with your fingers…”
She suddenly grabs one of my hands and presses it to her lips, suckling on my index and middle finger while closing her eyes for a moment and groaning at the memory.
,” she purrs.
“Well, I’ve had practice,” I say. Shit, I said that out loud, didn’t I?
,” Miki agrees. “You didn’t end being much of a newbie after all.”
Alright, I can’t get distracted here. Unlike Rika, she’s not trying
to use her body to throw me off, but it’s so inescapably there
that it’s still a serious threat.
“Right, so what were all those… letters you just said? The p-word and the b-word and all that?” I ask.
“Oh, that? Yeah, that’s the Big Sexy policy.”
I cringe, this time wincing visibly at that god damned nickname. Miki touches my face in concern.
“Hey, you good? Something with uhh, your heart? Do I need to get the Nurse?” she asks worriedly. “I know I really put you through your paces, but it seemed fine…”
“No, no no no! No Nurse!” I protest. “Yeah, it was just, umm. A little flutter! But I’m fine, I swear! Shit, what would he think if he found us like this?”
Miki gives me a knowing grin.
“You’d be surprised with that guy. I mean, where do you think I got the condoms?”
Oh yeah. I remember what she said when she pulled those out. Alright, slap that on, I know where little Hisao’s been!
Definitely my least favorite moment of the encounter… I guess we’ll find out whether the rest of it was worth it or not.
“Well, apparently you have no trouble getting booze,” I point out. “I’m pretty sure you could buy condoms, too.”
“Nah, no need. Guy hands ‘em out like candy. He knows what goes on around here.”
Jeez. He keeps teasing me and Rika when we come in together… this casts his little quips in a whole new light. It occurs to me that he never offered us any condoms, but… he’d know that Rika is sterile, wouldn’t he? If anything good comes out of this debacle, it’ll be that I don’t have to go in there alongside Rika again and see that shit-eating grin of his knowing what Miki’s just told me.
“Right, so yeah. ‘Couple,’ ‘dating,’ ‘relationship,’” Miki explains, picking up where she left off. “I don’t do that shit. This is just blowing off steam, nothing more. Hope you’re okay with that.”
I let out a sigh of relief. It would make things that much more complicated if it were anything else.
“Okay, good, I was kind of thinking the same thing,” I say. “I mean, not that it wasn’t fun and all, but…”
“Buuut you’re still hoping you have a shot with Rika?” Miki prompts.
I wince again. This time she doesn’t need to ask why.
“…I want to at least, I don’t know. Talk to her,” I say. “Ermm. Any chance you could… not tell her about this?”
“Sure thing,” Miki says. “My lips are sealed. But you should probably let her know you took a ride on this train.”
“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” I say.
“Probably won’t be fun,” Miki agrees. “But everyone and their mom knows you’re in here right now. She might as well hear it from you.”
“…Fuck. You’re right. God, I really screwed up…” I say, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
“Hmm,” Miki says, making the sound of a little verbal shrug. “I mean, I was serious when I said come get your rebound. Didn’t figure you’d even try with her again. I wouldn’t. You’ve got balls, man. Wear a cup. She might try to rip ‘em off.”
Rika really does have a reputation, doesn’t she? I laugh at Miki’s comments, appreciating her casual approach to my situation. I don’t think I could take it right now if she tried to give me some kind of lecture about how dumb I am. But the type of person to do that probably wouldn’t be naked in my arms right now, either. Somehow I seem to have a knack for attracting these type of girls. I briefly consider that, had things gone differently, maybe I could’ve gotten with Miki instead of Rika… all the upsides, none of the downsides, and two really big bonuses on top… but nah. Miki explained it’s not like that with her anyways, and besides, I shouldn’t think about these girls that way. They’re people, not sex dolls to be compared and measured.
Although I can’t help but consider how Miki’s muscular thighs felt when they clenched up around me, compared to Rika’s… no! Damn it, no, no, no!
“Dreamin’ about me again?” Miki says, snapping me out of these evil thoughts.
“…Yeah,” I admit.
“No need to fantasize, Hisao. I’m right here,” Miki says, planting a kiss on me. “You know, if you don’t feel up to seeing Rika today… we can go another round or four…” she whispers, keeping her face brushed up against mine while wrapping those maddeningly thick thighs back around my naked torso.
God do I want that.
“No, sorry, but I really shouldn’t,” I say, mustering up all of my willpower.
“Little Hisao really thinks you should,” Miki says, brushing her stump against my rock-hard erection.
“Yeah, he was in the driver’s seat last night. Not today,” I say, shrinking back away from her touch before “Little Hisao” can manage some backseat driving. I roll out of the cover and off of the bed, searching out my clothes and beginning to pull them back on.
“Err, sorry about, you know. That,” I say, noticing the dark stain where Rika spilled my drink all over Miki’s floor last night.
“Ehh. I’d say you made it up to me. Several times over, even. For a guy with a bad heart, you’ve got some serious stamina!”
“Ah, ahaha, yeah, all those runs with Emi really paid off I guess…”
“No kidding. You better keep at that. Big Sexy’s orders!”
“Uhh. Can you not say that?’ I ask. “It’s kind of off-putting.”
“Not say what?” she asks innocently.
“You know what. I’m not… I can’t even say it out loud, but. That fucking nickname. It’s really lame,” I tell her.
“Lame?” Miki asks, her trademark confidence faltering.
I look over at her and feel a bit guilty. She looks like a slapped puppy.
“Big Sexy doesn’t do lame,” she says, a confident grin re-asserting itself on her face.
And there goes all of my sympathy.
“Seriously. You really should cut it out,” I repeat.
She blushes furiously and withers back as if punched in the gut, apparently shocked that her attempt to win me over failed. “…Really?” she asks timidly.
“Yeah. People are letting you get away with it because you’re hot and you can get alcohol. But trust me, it’s not cool. It’s weird. You’ll thank me one day,” I say.
I leave before my guilt can get the better of me. I know I’m right but she just looked so damn devastated. Did her self-image really rest so much on that stupid little title? Damn it… I don’t get very far out the door before stopping and turning around. I can’t let my last image of her be that of a woman so absolutely crushed. I push Miki’s door back open and stick my head inside.
“Look Miki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be harsh, it’s just—”
I cut myself off and gulp. She’s splayed on the bed with her legs pulled apart and her one hand buried deep in between them. Miki opens one eye and sits up just enough to look at me, not taking her hand out of herself.
“Just couldn’t stay away from Big Sexy, could you?” she asks with a grin.
God fucking damn it.
“Now shoo, I’m trying to figure out that finger thing you did, if you ain’t gonna help then skedaddle,” she says.
I scowl at her and duck back out, making my way down the hall again without turning around this time. I make sure not to close the door behind me; it’s the least I can do to inconvenience her.
“Seriously newbie, good luck!” Miki calls after me.
I stop and look back, seeing her head sticking out of the doorframe and into the hallway.
“By the way, if it goes tits up? And she doesn’t murder you?” she adds, making the shape of a phone with her hand next to her head.
I nod and smile.
“You got it… B-Big… Sexy,” I force myself to say, already feeling my cheeks flush at hearing it in my own voice. It really is
lame, I hope she figures out that I was right about that. She laughs before disappearing back into her room, the door slamming shut behind her. I turn back towards the end of the hall and take a deep breath, trying to brace myself for what’s to come. How did it come to this, where wrangling a big-busted party girl with an ego to match was the easiest thing I’ll do today?
It really is tempting to just go back in there. I could do it. Maybe I can’t have a relationship with Miki, but I can have some fun, and I’ll be relatively stress-free. It would be so much easier. I could just turn my back on Rika and live my life as I want to live it, making no apologies to her. That sure seems to be how she does things. I look back down the hall, at the doorway leading out into the lobby. I could just go that way instead of this one.
Then I turn back towards the end of the hall and march myself down to Rika’s door. Worst comes to worst… Miki did still put herself on offer…
I notice an odd sound as I raise my hand to knock. It’s a soft, low vocalization. Is Rika… crying? Equally concerned and curious, I knock immediately. No response. The soft sounds don’t stop either. I knock again. Is she ignoring me? Like hell I’m gonna let her do that, crying or not. She better not make me pound on this door… I turn the knob… unlocked. Whew. Rika’s laying in bed, her bare shoulders suggesting that she really does like to lounge around naked… her eyes are closed and she’s definitely feeling something
Then I notice the person-shaped bulge in the sheets, the head-sized bump at its top moving steadily about halfway down Rika’s body. Right where her waist would be. I consider just turning around and walking back out. Then I remember that I
actually said no to having another tumble with Miki this morning. It’s incredible that I’m the one with more self-control in this situation but that seems to be the case.
“Ahem,” I say, clearing my throat.
Rika opens her eyes and scowls at me.
“Seriously, Hisao? Ughh
. Can’t you just fuck off for a while?”
I match her scowl, cross my arms, and plant myself in the doorway. Whoever’s under the sheets has stopped moving.
,” I say firmly.
Rika huffs and reaches around under the covers, extricating herself from her partner. After a bit of fiddling the person suddenly throws the blankets back against the wall. I’m left looking at a fully nude Saki, laying on her stomach with her head still resting on Rika’s thigh.
“Hello Hisao,” she says pleasantly, as if we’re just passing each other in the hall.
“Umm. Hello Saki,” I answer, awkwardly averting my gaze as she rolls off the mattress and crawls around, collecting her clothing.
, you dipshit,” Rika says.
“I didn’t think—I’m trying not to look at—” I protest.
“I would appreciate the assistance,” Saki says.
“At least close the damn door!” Rika adds.
Of course, Rika herself is making no moves to do anything. That’s definitely on purpose. I continue to scowl at her as I do as she says, closing the door before circling around behind Saki and placing my hands under her armpits.
“I’m going to pull you up. Ready?” I ask her.
“Yes, quite—oooh!!” Saki exclaims. “You’re much stronger than Rika!” she says, sounding a bit giddy, as if she’s just taken a rollercoaster ride. Maybe the sex with Rika is still fresh in her system? I feel like I should be uncomfortable right now, pulling the panties back onto Rika’s only apparent friend, but I guess I’m just too frazzled to care at this point. I’m not even upset that Rika was sleeping with Saki, I realize. In hindsight it seems kind of obvious that it was happening.
Who knew that learning how to clasp a bra would come in handy this soon? At least Rika was right about teaching me that, if nothing else. Once Saki’s finally clothed I hand her the cane from where it’s resting against the bed. She just stands there looking up at me with that little smile of hers, like I’m still supposed to do something.
“Err,” I say awkwardly.
“Saki. You might not want to be in here right now. Me and Hisao are going to… talk,” Rika says.
. Yes, yes. I see,” Saki says, comprehension dawning on her.
“Sorry he so rudely
interrupted. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Of course. I’ll be waiting. Please don’t harm him!” Saki says, making her way out the door. “Even if he angered you. He’s quite handsome! And very strong!”
“Saki, I’m right here,” I say.
She doesn’t seem to hear that, giving Rika a little wave before closing the door. As soon as we’re left alone Rika hops out of bed and gathers up her own clothes, getting dressed in a bit of a hurry. I wonder if she’s doing that to distract herself or to make it clear that we won’t be engaging in the activities that she and Saki just were. Probably both. I sit down on the bed and once again politely avert my gaze, even though I already saw everything.
Once she’s stopped moving I look back. She’s standing over me with her hands on her hips and a suspicious look on her face, like she’s trying to figure out just what I’m plotting, coming in here and getting all up in her business. It still just amazes me, how she can continue to have such an accusatory attitude after everything that’s happened.
“You know. Originally I was gonna come in here to apologize,” I say.
“You don’t owe me any apologies, Hisao,” Rika says. “Now if that’s all—”
I hold up a hand to stop her from telling me to get out.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until we talk about this,” I say firmly.
“About—whatever was up with you last night.”
“Oh yeah, last night. Have fun with the one-handed freak?”
“Fucking hell, Rika. Yes, I may have made a mistake, but that’s no reason to call her a freak!”
“I meant in bed. She sounded like she was really having a good ol’ time. The bitch should thank me for that.”
“…You could hear her? All the way down here?” I ask incredulously.
“Uhh, yeah. Whole damn hall heard her. She’s not exactly known for her subtlety.”
That much is true, but still. I narrow my eyes at Rika. Now I’m the one who’s suspicious. I think she’s lying about this just to rile me up. Saki probably told her I stayed over with Miki. Can’t let her distract me.
“Point is, yeah, I was drunk and horny and stupid and she threw herself on me. And I fucked her. I was actually feeling kind of shitty about it too, but I guess…”
“…what’s the saying? All’s fair in love and war?”
I’m kind of proud of myself for that one. It seems to crop up in every single book I’ve read, at some point or another.
“Like I said, Hisao. You don’t owe me any apologies. Seriously. You do what makes you happy, or I guess who
makes you happy. I’ve gotta do the same. Coulda picked a better lay, but at least it wasn’t no-legs,” Rika says.
“…You’d prefer Miki to Emi?”
“Yeah. At least the big one’s straight up with you. Wonder girl’s a passive aggressive little shit, all fake smiles and the like.”
I consider that for a moment before nodding in agreement. Actually kind of true. Though Rika’s being overly cynical as always, I can’t deny that Emi has that streak in her.
“So, what then? This is us now? Two assholes staring at each other, like you always complained about?” I say.
“There is no ‘us,’ Hisao. Don’t be fucking dense.”
“You dumped me over a couple beers?”
“Oh come on, you had more than a couple.”
“That’s not the god damn point, Rika!”
I jump to my feet, suddenly angry with her antics.
“If you don’t want me to drink, why can’t you just, I don’t know? Try
to talk to me about it first?”
“Talking fucking sucks. And it doesn’t work,” Rika asserts, turning away from me.
We’re standing close, so close that our faces would nearly be touching, if Rika were facing me. I won’t back off but I won’t force her to look at me either.
“How about just asking me not to drink? Did you ever think to try that?”
She gives me a sideways look, eyes narrowed in contempt.
“And that would’ve gotten through your thick skull? Just asking? When you were in there all liquored up and living large last night?”
“…Fuck, maybe not, but couldn’t you at least give it a shot? It just seems like such a dumb thing to throw us away over.”
“You want to know what’s dumb, Hisao? Having thirty years to live and killing yourself even faster!
” Rika yells, the anger in the room shifting abruptly into her.
“Hey, I’ve got more than thirty years!” I shoot back. “I could live a normal lifespan, if I’m careful.”
“That’s exactly it, Hisao. You’re going to risk just throwing that away? So you can get drunk and fuck a bimbo with big tits? God, you’re such a fucking idiot!” Rika shouts, smacking my side for emphasis. “You had a heart attack
, Hisao! At eighteen. Years. Old!
” she goes on, hitting me again to punctuate every word. “I’m
the one that has to die early! It’s not supposed to be you!” she finishes, drawing her hand back for another strike.
The slap she puts across my face sits me right down on the bed. None of her physical blows really hurt. It’s her words that put me back on my ass.
“This is why we can’t be together, Hisao. I won’t just hang around waiting for you to drop dead,” Rika says.
Now I’m the one who can’t look at her. Even though I’m fixated on the floor, I can feel those red eyes boring holes into the top of my skull.
“You’re right,” I mutter with a sigh.
“Oh? What was that?”
“You’re right,” I repeat, louder. “It was stupid as hell. Drinking, with my condition. I won’t do it again,” I say, looking up into her eyes. Their glare is so intense that it almost hurts, but I force myself to hold my own gaze with hers, daring her to come at me again.
“Well thank god I finally talked some sense into you,” Rika says. “Do you think I’m gonna just take you back now? Just ‘cause you said you’re sorry, we’re going to be fucking again?”
I give her a weak smile.
“No. I don’t expect anything from you. But hey? Rika?”
“Thanks for caring.”
“Caring about what?”
“Caring about me.”
Rika’s face twitches. Her mouth opens to say something, then closes, then opens again. I can’t help but smile just a little wider; for once she’s the one at a loss for words.
“Just because I don’t want you to fucking die, it doesn’t mean—I never said I didn’t care about you,” Rika finally says, her gaze now turning back away from mine.
I stay where I am, seated on the bed, looking up at her expectantly. Waiting for her to go on. Not giving her any snarky little comment she can latch onto and fire back at. She glances aside at me, then looks away again, crossing her arms and fidgeting. I notice that she’s blinking rapidly… trying to force back tears. Despite her best efforts, one squeezes its way out and rolls down her cheek. She rushes across the room to its window and stands there with her back to me, trying to hide her face.
“Just… get out…” she mumbles, unable to raise her voice for fear of it breaking.
I don’t say anything back to that. I just get up and follow her to where she stands. Slowly, carefully, I wrap my arms around her waist from behind. She jerks away at my touch, as if I’ve prodded her with a hot iron.
“Don’t—fucking touch me!” Rika barks.
But she still can’t look at me. I hesitate for a moment before coming in again. If I don’t do this now, I might never get another chance. This time she doesn’t try to get away, letting me hug her firmly. I rest my head on her shoulder, still not saying anything, just letting our bodies press together like this.
“God damn you…” Rika whispers, lowering her voice even further in a desperate attempt to keep it steady.
I can feel her shaking in my grasp.
“God damn me for what?” I whisper back.
“For doing… doing this to me…” she replies.
Then she can’t stop herself anymore. A single sob racks her body, loud and sudden. That’s all—just one, then she stifles it. I’m not going to press her while she’s like this. I turn her gently in my arms, aiming us towards the bed, and lead her there with my arms still around her. Rika’s shivering form halfway falls down onto it, guided by my arms as I take hold of her weight. I sit down next to her and she leans immediately into me, wrapping her own arms around me while burying her face in my shoulder.
She’s still not full-on crying, just breathing in slow, ragged gasps. I can tell she’s fighting it with all she’s got. That’s how she is, I think—even now she’s still stubborn as all hell. That’s okay. I’ll sit here with her, as long as it takes, while she lets it out.