Yamaku Book Club (20200427 Two Flat Jokes)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:50 pm

Ah, Constant Companion... One of the first - if not THE first - stories I read on these forums back when I first came here. Also I think I'm the only one of the people who posted in that thread who's still here...

Anyway, this story has always been one of my favourite stories here, and probably the one I've read most often. It's short, sweet, funny and spot-on for the characterization of Misha (though it does go a bit overboard for Rin). It has a huge part in why I like Misha so much, because whenever I read a story about her, THIS is what I have in the back of my mind. It's my personal headcanon continuation of the Kenji ending.

Also the author wrote the whole story as one giant monologue and still mangaed to impart all neccessary details for the reader without the story becoming tedious to read, which is no mean feat!

And now I'm going to reread the story one more time :-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by SirKaid » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:25 am

I enjoyed this one. It did a very good job of conveying just what happened without straying from Misha's voice, even (especially) when she was narrating for someone else. I've also got something of a soft spot for stories which are entirely speaking, especially when they're just one person speaking, and this does that excellently.

However, I do think that the actual plot of it, how each of the ladies reacted, is a bit much. For the most part Hisao is just a guy who they know of in Act One. They're friendly with him and willing to extend a hand to help him out, sure, but they're still just acquaintances. I would expect this kind of outpouring of emotion if he actually was their friend, but he's more or less just a cute stranger.

That being said I do like it, and I don't regret rereading it, so there's that. :P

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by QuietlySomething » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:35 pm

I got a kick out of this. Misha does seem characterized very well, even if an endless stream of Misha is a little grating (I suppose that's the point, right?) I appreciated the little quirks of her speech and how she was constantly interrupting herself. Honestly just the premise of this fic made me laugh out loud.

I do agree with SirKaid that the actual actions of the girls breaks suspension of disbelief a bit. I suppose it is simply a victim of the time it was released, but it definitely gives off the vibe that there is not really a whole lot of knowledge available about any of the characters.

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:19 am

Well, the only stuff that was known was what is in Act 1.
There were some screenshots of Hideaki going around and the speculation about it is quite hilarious from today's perspective.
He was rumoured to be Shizune's brother (though I was sceptical since there wasn't any official confirmation) and Akira's boyfriend.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by ProfAllister » Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:43 am

I think by this point, we can legitimately consider this one of the "classics".

It's difficult to add to what's already been said, but I think the real strength is it plays up some of the subtler aspects of Misha's character that appear in Act 1, but are generally subsumed by her bright cheery ditz persona. As illustrated by Mirage's reaction, it's a little bit of literary candy. Also one of those fun glimpses into a time capsule of how it used to be.

This one always gets a thumbs up for me, especially accounting for the oddities that simply couldn't be helped at this point.
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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Oddball » Sat Feb 03, 2018 4:01 pm

However, I do think that the actual plot of it, how each of the ladies reacted, is a bit much. For the most part Hisao is just a guy who they know of in Act One. They're friendly with him and willing to extend a hand to help him out, sure, but they're still just acquaintances. I would expect this kind of outpouring of emotion if he actually was their friend, but he's more or less just a cute stranger.
I'm with you in that regards, but really, the whole thing is so well written I'm willing to ignore it.

Despite what happens, it's really just a nice feel good story.
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Craftyatom » Sun Feb 04, 2018 4:08 pm

Oddball wrote:
Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:37 am
... I feel like I should have an image or logo or something to announce new posts. Anybody want to make me one or have any suggestions?
Here, try this out for size. Always willing to change it if need be (I know it is a bit loud at the moment).

Anyways, regarding Constant Companion:
I agree with what others have said regarding it going a bit overboard in terms of the girls' reactions. Not all of them, though - there were some that seemed entirely within characterization, but all of them was a bit much. Would've worked better if it focused on a smaller set of characters, in my opinion - but then, the author clearly chose to show them all, even if at the expense of a watertight plot, because it's much more interesting this way. It almost reads as an insight into each of them, as if every few paragraphs you switch routes to see what would've happened.

Misha's stream-of-consciousness was nice, but not perfect. Obviously a nervous and exhausted character having a very one-sided conversation is bound to come off strange, and the author captured that, but I think there were one or two moments where they went overboard (Misha tends to have that effect). On the whole, however, I think she was very well-characterized. My only gripe with Hisao was that he wasn't more alarmed at how badly wrecked he was (intubation would, I believe, be a new experience for him), but then again, he's probably still a bit groggy.

Okay, with all of that out of the way, I loved the story. I'm completely on board with the idea that Hisao has no idea how much he means to people, even people he's just met (or hasn't properly met at all). I also adore stories that 'fix' bad ends, like Healing. And, as mentioned above, while having all of the girls beat themselves up about him seems a bit much (and feeds the "every single girl crushes on Hisao" trope), seeing how each of them does it is really interesting. Definitely a fantastic read, excellent job to rescue a situation that's painted as so bleak.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Feb 04, 2018 6:25 pm

My only gripe with Hisao was that he wasn't more alarmed at how badly wrecked he was (intubation would, I believe, be a new experience for him)...
There's a difference between (tracheal) intubation and (nasogastric) intubation.
While the former is never used on conscious patients, because it would trigger their gag reflex, the latter is supposedly uncomforable but bearable.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Hoitash » Sun Feb 04, 2018 8:58 pm

I don't have much to add here because Mirage said it first, but I enjoyed this story immensely because I love Misha and she comes across so well and true in this story, and because it was the first story I read where Lilly was blatantly Catholic. That affected my own writing as well, so it lived on in my own writings in its own way.

Considering the story is really just a monologue in more or less second person perspective, it's got a lot of depth and a lot of, pardon the word choice, heart.
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by Oddball » Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:02 pm

Image

Is this too much? I think it might be too much.



Next up ...
Birthday by Nevice (or "Birthday" Hanako fan fiction by Nevice if you want to be one of those people.

This is the one and only post Nevice made on the forum... whoever they are.
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180204 'Birthday' by Nevice)

Post by brythain » Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:24 pm

Oddball wrote:
Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:02 pm
This is the one and only post Nevice made on the forum... whoever they are.
I think Nevice must have been Francophone, based on various clues in the text (e.g. elision of some definite articles). That in turn leads to a rather compressed narrative in which the word 'the' is often missing. That gives the piece a sense of burning urgency that's very intense, possibly 'triggering' to some people (although I'm not a literature teacher who believes in applying that concept to literature).

Oh yes, I've amended the first post for the new discussion, and I like your 'inbound' warning; I don't think it's too much at all! :D
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180128 'Constant Companion' by darrin)

Post by QuietlySomething » Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:38 pm

Oddball wrote:
Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:02 pm
Is this too much? I think it might be too much.
Vote here for too much! Why are we being warned? Is a new fic really that dangerous? Lol, what about a picture of Hanako reading or something? Since this is a book club and all.
(No offense to Crafty of course, I love ya <3)

Anyway, yeah, the first thing that is striking about this story is the grammatical issues that come as a result of English not being the author's first language; obviously not something we can really fault them for though. Getting someone else to proofread is always a good idea but considering it was their first ever post on the forums I think it's safe to assume they didn't have anyone to immediately reach out to for that purpose so I think it's pretty excusable.

Even still I actually think this is a pretty effective and striking fic. It takes advantage of the emotional weight behind Hanako's backstory and her negative associations with her birthday. As emmjay noted at the time, though, it doesn't necessarily align perfectly with the canon.
brythain wrote:
Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:24 pm
I think Nevice must have been Francophone, based on various clues in the text (e.g. elision of some definite articles). That in turn leads to a rather compressed narrative in which the word 'the' is often missing. That gives the piece a sense of burning urgency that's very intense, possibly 'triggering' to some people (although I'm not a literature teacher who believes in applying that concept to literature).
Wow, this is really astute! I think you're right about this. The story does feel very intense and urgent but I didn't quite have my finger on why. The odd wording creates a certain unique tone- I would assume as an unintentional side effect.

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180204 'Birthday' by Nevice)

Post by Oddball » Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:52 pm

Vote here for too much! Why are we being warned? Is a new fic really that dangerous?
I can think of a few stories that I should probably put a warning on before anyone tries to read them. :lol:

Not this one though. This one is nice. Not exactly canon, but effective.
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180204 'Birthday' by Nevice)

Post by StilesLong » Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:43 am

I agree that the new banner is too much. It's very aggressive and in-your-face, unnecessarily so.
I even tried to drag her but my strength was not enough. I was only a child.
This line struck a chord with me. The narrative switches between Hanako's experience as a child and Hanako's reflections on the event as an adult and I think that it's quite powerful. It offers us the perspective of someone who has certainly been told not to blame herself for not saving her mother, specifically because she was only a child.
My fear and quilt had transformed me.
I wish my quilt would transform me.


I think I like the memories of the fire better than the second half. As Brythain pointed out, the story has an urgent tone but the urgency is far more pronounced and effective when we're discussing the fire than when we're discussing events that occurred over a longer period of time.

It breaks a little with canon, unfortunately, but it's still emotionally resonant. Emmjay already noted some of the canonical reasons Hanako doesn't like her birthday, and of course it's worth remembering that Hanako's mother lay on top of her to protect her from the flames. Nevertheless, I enjoyed this post.

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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180204 'Birthday' by Nevice)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:40 pm

Also for toning down the banner a little...

As for the story, I wasn't too impressed with it. Between the language and the clashes with canon which emmjay pointed out there wasn't too much to make it memorable.
In principle it was a scene that has been described in at least half a dozen other fanfictions as well and most of those were done better.

Not sure the author is french though. French does have definite articles and it should use them way more often than the author did in this story.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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