Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

WORDS WORDS WORDS


gyroknight
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by gyroknight »

Wow. Just wow. After finishing this epic of a fanfic, that's all I had to say.

Now that I've had some time to process and reflect back on the piece, I thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

First of all, thank you for this magnificent piece of hard work and dedication. You've put a lot of effort into creating this story, and it really shows throughout, from the research into the details of Japanese and Scottish culture to the startlingly natural progressions of each of the characters. After finishing KS, I got what one could call "KS ending withdrawal", and after especially enjoying the Hanako arc, I thought I would try and find some fan fiction of that specific arc, which eventually led me here. I know it might not mean much, but after reading through nearly all the HisaoXHanako fanfics in the Library, I hope the fact that I made an account specifically to post about this one shows just high I hold your story in esteem.

Many of the endings in KS are fairly open and don't really provide enough closure for the characters they portray. Sisterhood is not like that, in that I felt it provided a very fitting end to Hanako's arc. It shows Hanako's evolution from the extremely shy introvert to an independent young woman gradually enough that the ending seems like a fitting reward to her journey. I thought you ended the story exactly where you should've. Although I would be interested in a short follow up, perhaps highlighting Hanako's first few weeks at university or maybe a timeskip forward ~10 years later just to see how things eventually turn out (I do enjoy happy endings), but they're certainly not necessary as Sisterhood develops Hanako's character well enough that readers should be fairly certain Hanako's future will be fine.

I really like your portrayals of the Satou parents, they explain why Akira and Lily are the way they are as well as portraying the parents as real people who do actually care but also have their own flaws. The members of the newspaper club are also pretty memorable, but by far the most well done original character, at least in my opinion, is Miss Yumi. Her grandmother-esque demeanor seems like a perfect match for Hanako, still kind, but knowing most of the time when to be firm in order to give Hanako that push she needs.

However, I do have a few minor gripes with Sisterhood, although I feel most of these are mostly nitpicks. There are a few grammatical and spelling mistakes, although they don't distract that much from the story, and the sentences are perfectly readable. What did cause some significant stumbling in the flow of the story was the first person view for certain passages. While for the most part I could tell who was speaker, there were a few passages that I had to reread a few times just to figure out who said what, and one or two passages that had too many lines of dialogue right after another that it was impossible for me to determine who the speakers of said lines were, even with the color coded titles. While I didn't really notice the changing points of view, as I had read Hanako's Story right before this one, I can see how it would be disorienting for someone who just finished KS considering KS is exclusively from Hisao's POV. That being said, I did feel that for each chapter, you chose the right character's POV that would be the most effective at the moment. The fact that we don't learn what eventually happens between Akira and her boyfriend annoys me slightly, more so because you wrapped up Hanako's storyline so well rather than bad writing, but it's not really a big deal considering I wasn't really an Akira fan in the first place. The journal and IM sections of the piece were a bit jarring as well to the overall flow of the piece, and although for the most part I found them to be a nice break from your traditional writing style, there were certain sections that I felt dragged on for too long, like the forum posts during Hanako's rodin year as well as some of the IMs. Having read Hanako's Story first, I didn't notice Hisao's absence all that much in the later half of the story, but looking back on it, I think I would've preferred a little more Hisao in the second half, even if the story is about Hanako expanding her horizons so that her life doesn't revolve around just Hisao, as I felt they grew a little too distant from each other during that section than realistically possible to resume their relationship that easily afterwards. Then again, I'm far from being a relationship expert. The flashback in Chapter Alpha was also not immediately obvious to me, and I didn't realize it was the Mr. and Mrs. Satou of the past until a third of the way in. There were some sections that seemed to drag on but the story did get me invested enough that even with the sections that dragged, it was never enough that I thought about stopping.

But most importantly, Sisterhood caused a dangerously high amount of feels for me, especially during the heart attack scene, Hanako's breakdowns, and Hanako's regression after the first National Center Test (although that's probably one of the major reasons why this story is so well done).

Some other miscellaneous thoughts: I didn't really mind the H-scenes, I thought for the most part they were pretty well done and their abundance wasn't really an issue considering that Hanako and Hisao's relationship isn't really based on conversation. I'm not sure why some people had an issue with the first aid training part, I'm more surprised it didn't happen sooner considering that at most schools and workplaces in the US, first aid training is pretty much a requirement. I can't comment on whether or not that applies to Japan as well, but at least where I live, first aid training is so common that I didn't really see that particular scene stand out much.

Everything aside, this is one of the best, if not the best, fanfics of KS I've ever read. Characters are very well developed, details are abundant, and it definitely satisfied my crave for proper closure to Hanako's arc. Thank you Guest Poster for spending the time and effort necessary to share this with all of us.
YZQ
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by YZQ »

I gotta say: I probably laughed harder than I should on where some of the H-scenes took place. Then again, there is sadness to round it all out.

@GP: Thanks for inviting me to read the expansion. I haven't finished reading all of it, but I enjoy the ride so far.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."

"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
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Serbian Gamer
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Serbian Gamer »

What can I say? Truly stunning work.
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Grimm13
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Grimm13 »

Hey just wanted to say "great job Guest Poster" , I mean you gave Hanako's route an ending it deserves man
I still remember the first time I finished the emotional roller coaster ride called Hanako's route (which was also the first I finished) and was just in a trance for like 3 days thinking about her before it all sank in, but most of all it just left me wanting more cause it was just so short.

As I'm writing this though I haven't really finished it as a whole yet, but so far I'm just lovin this fanfic

I guess the only gripe I have about it is that it isn’t really a part of the game, which really sucks for me cause now I really want to see this in VN format (Think maybe we can convinced the devs to make it like a DLC or something? hahaha) all kidding aside though I just like to thank the creator again for making this and as he wrote “Providing a better sense of closure for Hanako’s Route” for many of her fans.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride
: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
- Pablo Neruda
Guest Poster
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Guest Poster »

Thanks and glad to hear you're enjoying it so far. :)
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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ultraman
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by ultraman »

Great work my friend.

I enjoyed reading it really a lot, also if some parts made me burst so much in tears that I can't consider them in my headcanon (especially Hanako's regression after the first National Center Test and her thoughts about her parents in the last chapters) it was a beautiful sadness.

The part I appreciated most, I REALLY went crazy during it, is the chess game. Maybe a little bit long, but an awesome idea to include it into your story. The parts I appreciated less were some H-scenes (I found 3-4 of them "useless" to the plot), but I suppose it was exactly as during my first play on KS: "wtf is this sex scene, damn, I wanna only see how the story continues!" :mrgreen:
Guest Poster
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Guest Poster »

Thanks. Yeah, the chess game was kinda long, but since this was how Hanako and Hisao kept their relationship going for nearly a year, I felt it necessary to include. Disclaimer: the chess game was set up by simply letting a chess program play a game against itself with me writing down the moves. I'm not nearly good enough at chess to write a game from scratch that's also specifically tailored around their personalities. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
Axeshizzle
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Axeshizzle »

arnie wrote:This is great, I really enjoyed the original version. Thank you!

Do you, by any chance, have a single file / epub version that you can upload so that I can slap it on a tablet?
I couldn't find one anywhere.
Therefore I made one myself. (Made an account for this forum just so I could share it.)

http://www.mediafire.com/download/9rqcc ... oster.epub

(Took me quite a while to make actually. I made sure to include all the emoticons from chapter 57.)
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Razoredge
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Razoredge »

What I have read is really.... awesome *o*
Yeah, I really love it
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao
PrymaL
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by PrymaL »

Had to make a account to reply to this,

As someone who only recently got into playing Visual Novels, (if my heart had wings and KS) once i played Hanako's route i felt an immediate connection to her and was a little dissappointed when the route ended with Hanako and Hisao only just getting into a relationship

Along comes the day before yesterday when i just happened to come across this in a post on the /A board on 4chan, to bne fair i was interested only because i wanted a more full ending to Hanako's story then what i was original given. Once i got started i couldnt stop, this is the only thing that i will allow to be known as canon. I feel it gives Hanako's story a more happy ending then anythingi could think of, and to be fair, this is the first time that i have ever cried while reading something. this story is just too perfect and i plan on reading it again and again.

To GP, i would like to thank you for sharing this experience with us. it was as i can only express in words. the greatest ending i could have hoped to see for Hanako and im glad to have been able to read this

Thanks again
-PrymaL

p.s Now all i need is a story based after this and my life will be complete
NodsRespectfully
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by NodsRespectfully »

God damn that was long.

When you posted the first version of Sisterhood- god, that was two years ago, wasn't it? Well, when you posted the first version I powered through that as quickly as I could and came out rather impressed. I liked it, a lot, and it gave me a really great sense of closure on Hanako's and Hisao's story. When you started talking about a continuation I was pumped, but that obviously didn't happen particularly immediately. It wasn't until I checked back here two days ago on a whim that I saw this. Obviously powering through this version took a bit longer, and I've got to say- I'm even more impressed. I like the extension quite a lot, rest assured. I'm just, it's really good, is all.

Though, to be honest, when Hisao said he though Hanako would be a good mom, I was kind of hoping we'd get to see that actually happen, if only a small amount. Oh well.
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Memetwist
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Memetwist »

Well, I really don't know what to say, but i know I can't just after reading the whole story, not leave a comment here.
So I created an account just to reply,
To say, thank you, for this lovely fan-fiction, all the chapters, all the paragraphs, was a awesome read experience and a good use of my time, I kind of identify myself in Hanako, so all that was really pleasant for me. Thanks for spend you time on writing this, is one of the best stories I have read on my life.
Thank you again.
:mrgreen:
nathan67003
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by nathan67003 »

Well, I'm late to the party as usual. Took me a month to get through the damn thing, although I am in Uni. The procrastination is real.

To be very concise (I am studying science/physics), I thouroughly enjoyed most of it. Only things nagging me is that the development sometimes seemed a bit unnatural; several intros to H-scenes seem outright wrong, Hisao acting completely different than usual, knowing exactly what to say. It often felt as if he and, in general, everyone and everything, was sometimes a mere puppet guided by someone else.

Also slightly annoying was the science subjects evoked in some chapters narrated by Hisao. Molecular physics, as well as fluid mechanics (aerodynamics) isn't something you learn until you are several years, if not more, into Uni.

Still, this thing is effing great. Kudos to Guest.
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HipsterJoe
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by HipsterJoe »

This story was amazing. Hanako's route was not my favorite, mainly cause Hisao's actions were annoying, so I was surprised that a continuation of it would be so enjoyable. One of my favorite parts of this was that you made Lilly's parents real people with believable motivations. Their reasons for moving and leaving their daughters behind make sense, even if it's still shocking that Lilly's mother never ended up visiting. After seeing a lot of authors turn Lilly's father into a villain or a jerk, it was nice to see him as simply human.

Thanks for sharing your work!
Vegerunks
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Re: Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

Post by Vegerunks »

I'm just on Chapter 18 so far but I can say I thank you greatly for that music player because I don't believe I would have been able to read this without the music. I somewhat like reading but it's sometimes a chore for me to stay attached and focused on reading but this music not only sets the tone of the story it helps me get more immersed(I believe that's the word I'm looking for) into the story. I mean take the VN for example. Every time I hear any of their songs I feel the same emotions I did when reading the story even without the story. The title theme gets me choked up because of all the memories mixed with that music after being choked up by a very heart warming or in some cases very tearful story.

Anyways onto what I think so far.

I absolutely love Hanako as a character and like most people believe her story was too short. I was afraid of getting into Fanfic because you never know which ones will be good and which ones will feel like wasted time because either they are not well written or they are not properly fitting to characters. Chapter 13 Spoilers I was kind of happy that you decided to make him have an attack similar to when he did in Lily's story just under different circumstances it made me happy not because I'm heartless but because I truly believe that's probably how Hanako would have reacted in the original story I mean him just being a friend made her freak out hardcore even though it wasn't a full on heart attack so it was nice to see the continuity. Outside of that the growth for all the characters, the integration in mentioning events from some of the other characters stories or making them happen in this story just in a different way with more definition behind them all make it a great fan fic so far. The 2 most important things in my opinion though? YAYYY MORE HANAKO CUTENESS. And of course the telling the story in different points of view is really nice. I can't wait until I finish the story although it might take me a week or 2 with work hopefully Sooner if not owell.
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