Living (Rin Route)

[griffon8]

I agree with Mirage: a solid chapter.

The only thing I'd add to Mirage's corrections:

Laying there in the silence

Lying, not laying.

And I had a good laugh over the coy/koi error.

[Mirage_GSM]

And I had a good laugh over the coy/koi error.

Oh, that's what it was supposed to be... I was wondering which word autocorrect had mangled there^^°

[Lloyd Snow]

Begrudgingly, I drag on my shoes and move into the bathroom...

You probably meant another word...

1. to give, admit, or allow unwillingly or with a bad grace

We all stand up from the table, I leave the money to cover the bill, with a sizeable tip, and we leave.

Tipping is considered an insult in Japan. Yuuko would probably faint...

I'm aware of this. It is basically the catalyst for me never writing Yuuko dialogue in this route.

“What a mysterious Jogo.” I say in English, out of earshot.

What's a Jogo? Google doesn't yield any results that make sense in that context...

Jogo is Portuguese for game, or sport. To put it simply, he's saying that interacting with Rin is like a challenge, her latest action being particularly mysterious.


Most of this is just a result of laziness on my part, I had just finished the chapter (3,500) to make deadline, and did a poor job of proof reading.

[Mirage_GSM]

Begrudgingly, I drag on my shoes and move into the bathroom...

1. to give, admit, or allow unwillingly or with a bad grace

Emphasis added.
Note that you can't "drag" something begrudgingly.

“What a mysterious Jogo.” I say in English, out of earshot.
Jogo is Portuguese for game...

In that case, shouldn't it read Portuguese in the above line?

[AnathRaema]

“What a mysterious Jogo.” I say in English, out of earshot.
Jogo is Portuguese for game...

In that case, shouldn't it read Portuguese in the above line?

I believe that it means he's saying the "what a mysterious" in English.

[Lloyd Snow]

I was aiming at weekly releases, then I took up a project that takes priority over this.
I'll still work on this on the side, but I'll be fairly busy come February, so my apologises for getting anyone's hopes up.

[Unknown432]

I made this account just it post on this thread. So far I've loved the story, and I hope that when you have finished your project you can finish this.