Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

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NekoDude
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Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by NekoDude »

Or not, I don't care. Anyway this is where I'll toss anything that I think can stand alone. This may mean it's a one-shot, it may mean it's a chapter from the longer work in progress but requires no knowledge of the back story to make sense.

Comment and critique if you like, but rudeness will be met by rudeness. I'm not sure I would have started at all if I'd known "all the rules" -- but now that I know as many as I do, I deliberately subvert them when it makes sense to do so. Sometimes it's "rule of funny", sometimes it's just me flipping the bird to your conventions. As I have said in another thread, sacred cows make the tastiest burgers.

On with the show.
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Re: Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by NekoDude »

Ever wonder why Nurse seems to be ridiculously close to Emi, to the point of arousing suspicion? Me too. This was my attempt to explain it.
-----------------------------------
“B–but why?” Emi is practically spitting her words at this point. I suppose I might do the same in her position.

I sigh and take a seat on the examination table across from her. “Emi, there’s something you need to know. Your mother and I have already discussed this, since we knew one of us would have to tell you sooner or later. I was just hoping for later rather than sooner.” I was not entirely surprised she had confessed her affection to me. That particular tension had been there for several years, after all. However, I was surprised by how she showed it. Hopefully this news would prevent such an attempt from ever crossing her mind again.

“Rather than drag this out, I’ll give you the short version first, then bring you up to speed. Emi… I am your uncle.”

“What.”

“Your mother and I have both been waiting for quite some time for the right moment to bring this up. Now that you know where this story is going, let me start at the beginning. You see, your father and my older brother Giro were very close friends from earliest childhood. I would dare say your father was more of a brother to my brother than I ever was, given the age difference between us.”

“You mean… Uncle Giro? My Uncle Giro?”

“Yes, Emi. I am pleased to see that you remember him since you were so young when he was taken from us. Of course, he wasn’t really your uncle by blood, but your father and Giro had agreed -– years before they even met their first steady girlfriends –- that each would be the godparent of the other’s children.”

“But that would make you… what, my god-uncle or something? You said you were my uncle.”

I nod. “When they were both sixteen, they were on a trip together, trekking through southeast Asia for several months. Along the way, they managed to share something they rather would not have – a case of the mumps. I was only a young child myself, but I still remember how awful my brother looked and felt when they brought him back to Japan. I can only imagine your father was just as bad, and this was after they had already passed from the contagious phase. They had to remain quarantined until then. I don’t know if you are aware, but one possible consequence of having the mumps, at least for a male, is sterility.”

I give her a moment to piece this together, then to pick her jaw up off the floor before I continue. “It was not until a few years after they were married that your parents realized the problem. After tests on both of them, it was concluded that there were no viable routes for creating a pregnancy… except to use… ahh… genetic material from... someone else. To put not too fine a point on it… Giro stood in as donor.” I didn’t think this would be as hard as it is proving. I had really, really hoped Meiko would get around to this before it got to this point, but she didn’t, and here we are. “The most important thing you should know is that although you are not descended from him directly, your father… was still your father, and nothing will ever change that. Not even this. He loved your mother enough, and wanted a child –- you -– enough, that he would have gone to the ends of the earth to find a way. It is ironic that going to the ends of the earth is exactly what caused him to be in that position in the first place.” I give a weak attempt at a grin, but Emi is staring quite intently at the floor and kicking her blades rhythmically.

Finally she finds words. “So… what happened to Uncle Giro?”

Now it’s my turn to stare at the floor. “That too was an accident… not a car accident, but the industrial kind.” I decide to spare her the details for now, since she has enough to deal with. I don’t think it would help her to know he was severely burned in a steam boiler rupture, and managed to hang on for two agonizing months before finally succumbing. There would be time for that another day. “One of the last things he ever said was how glad he was that he had helped his closest friends with the greatest gift he could possibly hope to give them. Is there anything else I might be able to tell you that you think would help, or that you just want to know?”


Emi laughs, but it’s a bitter cackle that sends chills down my spine. “Well, considering why I came here today, is there anyone else I need to avoid throwing myself at? Do I have some secret half-brother running around?” I can tell by the unusual abruptness to her speech that she is not taking this smoothly, although in my mind it had sometimes turned out much worse.

I shake my head. “Giro never married. I am sure that if he had, his children would have been introduced to you as cousins.” I stand and cross the space between us and pick up her hand. She looks at me through tearful eyes. “Emi, you know this changes nothing between us, right? I knew who you were before you even awoke in the hospital. Fortunately my superiors did not, or I never would have been allowed to take your case. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I am not my brother, but you are still family to me. This is why I transferred to stay on your case, and this is why I took the opening at Yamaku the moment it was available. In a very real sense… you are my first-born.”

This breaks the dam entirely. Emi bounds off of the exam table and throws her arms around me, legs not reaching the ground, and cries into my lab coat. After half a minute or so of this, I help lower her feet to the ground. She may still be small, but I’m not as strong as I once was. I run my fingers through her hair as the sobbing slowly diminishes.

Suddenly, she lets go and takes a small step back, forces a smile onto her face, and tugs the tails of her uniform blouse to straighten it out. “Well, I suppose I’d best make myself presentable before I’m seen in public again. I wouldn’t want to get you in any trouble, now would I?” She throws the characteristic Emi grin and heads for the attached half-bathroom to wash away the signs of crying. I return to my reports, or at least pretending to care about my reports, and keep an ear out for her. After a few minutes of hearing nothing, I check on her only to find that she has already left. I guess I’d better call Meiko.
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Trivun
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Re: Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by Trivun »

That was... interesting. I won't give actual critique, not after reading your OP and noting how you will deliberately subvert the usual conventions, but this first tale was pretty well written and kind of makes sense even if it is moving so far over the canon boundary it's in sight of the curvature of said boundary. I look forward to reading more of your stories, however strange and quirky they may become! :)
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AntonSlavik020
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Re: Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Very interesting start to this. If the rest of the stories have as unique a premise, color me interested.
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NekoDude
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Haiku #1

Post by NekoDude »

This one is definitely going to be disturbing and filled with memes.

      Stumpfist and Kenta,
      Elbow-deep in chocolate.
      Too many lemons.
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Luxray
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Re: Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by Luxray »

When I saw the 'unusual closeness' premise of the first story, I expected some kink-filled NursexEmi fapfiction. I didn't really expect what I got... I don't know what to say.

I don't really see the point of your haiku though. Disturbing for the sake of disturbing? There's not really much plot to be had there.
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NekoDude
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Re: Eat my shorts. Stories that is.

Post by NekoDude »

Luxray wrote:I don't really see the point of your haiku though. Disturbing for the sake of disturbing? There's not really much plot to be had there.
Oh sure there is, you just haven't or hadn't seen the setup. It actually happens. Now the Emi story gets thoroughly converted into something more traditional, as it just wasn't necessary to go that far out in my story, and if it's not necessary then it's probably better off eliminated.
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