Should I say hi or something?...
Well, first thing first, I'm french, so my english will not be perfect, but I'll try my best...
Here's my story, why i'm part of this hanako's broken heart club...
I'm a 18 years old guy in my freshman year of college that discovered katawa shoujo during July or so. I've seen Shizune's part, that did not hit me like it would... And then I discovered Hanako, this girl with scars and agoraphobia, and in my opinion, the most beautiful girl of this game... I've finished her path in one single night (sleep at 5:00 A.M) I've played other paths, but they seemed tasteless to me after Hanako's.
Here's where Hanako hit me, I got stretch on my arms and my venter, since one year or so, and since one year, I'm totally complexed about it. I think if I have to be shirtless in public (or even short sleeves shirts, I'm always wearing long sleeves even when it's 35°C outside), I would just panic and feint, I don't like my body, I don't like myself, and I don't like my life because of that... I don't know if I'm depressed, I'm by nature quite a joyfull guy (or I seem to be). Only 2 peoples saw those stretches : my ex and a doctor for a check up (When I get out of the doctor that just stared at those, I felt like I would feint on the floor on my way back to class, or just fall on the ground and cry (well, like hanako's last scene). I was hitting rock bottom, just because somebody looked at me) (And when my ex saw it for the first and only time, she stared at it, If I wasn't about to... Well, fck her, I think I would've just stop, cry, and tell her to go away)
I've got quite some friends, I've had a relationship that turned to be a friend with occasionnal benefits(Well, she cheated on me, ignored me when I was trying to save her from suicide etc.. When I was only friend with her, she would just ignore me again and again. One day I've told her "never gonna speak to you again, goodbye") and I'm far to be agoraphobic. Primary relations with peoples are fine, but I can't get in a true relationship right now, mostly because of my stretches. I think I've got my chances with 2 different girls at the moment, but... I just... Can't, I can't tell myself "she's gonna see those, but it's allright" So I'm just friend with everybody, making them feel like I'm not "modest" (not sure if that word is the right word to say that I'm totally scared about being naked) at all, but I am "modest" and I think I can qualify that as a phobia at this point.
So this is why "Hanako's broken heart club" I'm feeling... In love with Hanako, I've got the feeling that it's the only human that wouldn't scare me to death to be naked with. I obviously know that she's not real. But... I don't know if I'll be able to share my life with anybody else. (And by the way, this scene when she saw Hisao's scars almost made me cry and gave me the chill all over my body)
I've got the feeling that the only good thing I can do is not being responsible of anyone's feelings. I can't be attached to anybody, I don't know why, I've got the feeling like the only time where I will be allowed to be happy with myself will be the day where I will not matter to anybody. And I don't know, if this day arrives, I may commit suicide just because "it will not matter to anybody, it'll not make anyone sad, nobody will care" (Did I mentionned that the only reason I find suicide stupid is because you just reject your sadness on everybody else that cared about you). So I found Hanako so strong, being alone, bullied, nobody cared about her, and yet, she survived, she made it until somebody cared about her.
Got the "Do it for her" image next to my bed everytime I'm going to sleep.
Here is my story, hope you'll read it. This may be my first post, but I've read the forum for quite a while now.
Last edited by Imossel
on Tue Nov 05, 2013 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.