Five Things They Would Never Say

[SirMax]

Hanako:
"DAMNIT HISAO JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE OFF YOUR F***ING PANTS OFF ALREADY."
"Hey, everyone, look at me!"

Emi:
"Life is pointless."
"No running in the halls, Hisao!"

Lilly:
"I see what you did there."
"Nice shirt. I like the colour."

[WASSHOI]

Hanako:
Emi
"No running in the halls, Hisao!"

I can actually see her ironically saying that, given her playful nature.

[Vertical]

I shoulda joined in sooner.

Shizune: I was going to go to school, but then I got high.

Nomiya-sensei: That joke was stupid.

RIn: Hey Hisao, high five!

Yuuko: My hobbies are miniature tea sets, sewing, reading, and juggling 27 balls while skateboarding.

Misha: I'm studying for a career in tight-rope walking.

Muto: WHAT A LOVELY DAY TO BE ALIVE AND MEET NEW PEOPLE!!!

Hanako: Fucking shitdamn there's no multi-colored tiles in this hall.

Lilly: Fucking shitdamn I ran out of tea bags.

Hisao: I think I'll walk to class on my hands today.

[Super Guest Man]

Hanako: "Anyone have a cig I could bum?"

Lilly: "I'm more of a cat person actually."

Rin: "This painting f'ing rocks"

Hiso: "I'm actually a eunuch"

[justanotherlurker]

One song they would not sing together: Bloodhound Gang - Fire Water Burn

Kenji: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
Hanako: We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn.

Kenji: Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high
Hisao: I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly
Hanako: But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried'
Kenji: Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto
Lilly: Hard to see with the naked eye
Emi: But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine
Rin: Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie
Lilly: I'm the root of all that's evil
Misha: Yeah but you can call me cookie
Kenji: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
Hanako: We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn.

Shizune: Yo yo
Hisao: This hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice
Rin: I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is
Kenji: So if man is five
Lilly: And the devil is six
Misha: Than that must make me seven
Hisao: This honkey's gone to heaven
Hanako: But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well
Lilly: I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk
Rin: And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist
Emi: And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-christ
Kenji: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
Hanako: We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn.

Everybody: Everybody here we go
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Misha: C'mon party people
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Rin: Throw your hands in the air
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Misha: C'mon party people
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Rin: Wave 'em like you don't care
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Misha: C'mon party people
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Lilly: Everbody say ho
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Misha: C'mon party people
Shizune: Ohh Ohh
Everybody: Everybody here we go

[Falkentyne]

Lilly: Earth!
Hanako: F-Fire!
Misha: WIND!
Shizune: ...
Hisao: HeaNNNNNNNNGG-

Most: GO PLANET!

Muto: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!

[JamiroquaiAlien]

Shizune: I was going to go to school, but then I got high.

Now I'm gonna be late for the festival, and I know why
'Cause I got high
'Cause I got high
'Cause I got hi~gh
Na nanananana

[Srikali]

Hanako: "Anyone have a cig I could bum?"

That would explain where she keeps disappearing to...

[fanatic]

One song they would not sing together: Bloodhound Gang - Fire Water Burn

best anything EVER

[WASSHOI]

-Song-

I-It's beautiful...

Lilly: Earth!
Hanako: F-Fire!
Misha: WIND!
Shizune: ...
Hisao: HeaNNNNNNNNGG-

Most: GO PLANET!

Muto: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!

I loved Hisao's part and how you purposely put "Most" rather than "All"

[Fat Star Achernar]

Shizune: <Then they told me that my lawsuit was without merit because it was congenital and not a side-effect of being Tango'd>

Emi: " ..so I just kept whining until the doctors agreed that after they amputated them, I could take them home with me. And let me tell you, they were delicious!"

Hanako: "...and then Hisao, that new kid, throws himself off the roof and, I shit you not, lands smack-bang right on top of Lilly! God, I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself."

Kenji: "...so then I told her it was the sound of one hand clapping, and she gets out her cane and just starts whaling on me."

Lilly: "I don't know why Hanako keeps listening to that Two Girls One Cup song, it's not very good."

Rin: "...so now I'm not allowed to DJ for the Campus Radio because Hisao complained about the 'inordinate' amount of playtime that Billy Ray Cyrus song was getting."

[vermithrx]

Kenji: "...so then I told her it was the sound of one hand clapping, and she gets out her cane and just starts whaling on me."

That is wonderful! No one I know ever understands that euphemism and explaining it ruins the joke, so thank you.

[Snicket]

well i guess i should give this a try.

Hisao:
kick start my heart
hope it never stops

Emi :
I just ran, I ran all night and day.

Hanako:
I'm burning, I'm burning you you

Lilly:
Do you see what I see

Rin:
Everybody was kung-fu fighting

Shizune:
We are the champions - my friends

Misha:
ROW ROW, FIGHT DA POWAH

Kenji:
Master of puppets Im pulling your strings

Nurse:
Another one bites the dust

Mutou:
Pour some sugar on me

Yuuko:
Oh we're not gonna take it


- in case you're wondering, there all song lyrics

[Deimos]

Hideaki: Years ago Akira and I switched places and Lilly still does not suspect anything.

Emi (while tackling random people in the halls): LEGS FOR THE LEG GOD!!!

Shizune: <Heil myself>

Rin: Would you please come to the girl's bathroom and help me with my period - it is kind of an initiation ritual around here.

[Synoptic]

5 are too much... I'll go for 1 each.

Emi: We got off the wrong foot, shall we start over?

Lilly: (To Misha maybe?)"I'm blind not deaf!" (War3, Illidan lol)
"I see what you did there." <-- by SirMax
I like "tea-baging"

Hanako: I like my stake as I like my scars! Well made!

Shizune: We are the champions, my friend! <-- someone posted it before, don't remember who