Design your character!

[TehGameBob]

I know you guys have probably got a million topics like this already (that or have a general topic for this type of thing), but from what I can see, they've been 'dormant' for a relatively decent while; why raise the dead? Unless that's the polite thing to do... Anyhow, I'm blabbering, so here's what I came to post:


(YesIknowit'slargeI'msorry)

This is my character; Shin Tsukino.
He has literally no relevance to any character in KS (well, maybe extras; I haven't thought it through)
General Information, I suppose:

DoB: November 17
Blood Type: B-
Height: 174 cm
Weight: 73 KG
Hair: Mousey Brown
Eyes: Grey
Disability: Hyperalgesia

I'm working on a story for him at the moment, and I tend to develop my characters more while writing them, so the only things about him that I know is solid is that he's lethargic, he has a dislike for anything fancy, and he takes Vicodin to help nullify any pains he could possibly experience.

Basically, with his look, I wanted him to look his personality; lethargic and almost bland. Hence, shaggy, dull brown hair, grey eyes, bit of scruff, a slouch, and bags beneath the eyes.
I wanted to reflect it with his clothing as well; I'm still working on a casual outfit (the whole nine yards, eh?), but for his school outfit, he dresses almost slovenly; shirt un-tucked, cuffs undone (to fit his gloves), loose tie and collar as well. The glasses came from him being far-sighted; they really were there just as sort of a thing I added when he was nothing more than a description. Afterwards, I found they really added to his lethargic/tired/'bland' look, so they stayed.

Originally, the plan was that he was to have Tactile Hyperesthesia; an abnormal increase in sensitivity to stimuli, in his case, touch (hence the gloves). However, it was too broad; there was no real description as to how a person with hyperesthesia would react to touch, cold, warmth, etc. Would another person's touch be a good thing? Would warm be burning? Would cold be freezing? There were no articles in all the places I looked that covered a hyperesthesic's(?) reactions to stimuli, so, I went the coward's way out and went with the symptom with clear cut definitions.

Sorry 'bout text mountain there; I figured if I can't provide a story for people to read to get acquainted with Shin here, then a 'justification' of his appearance would be at least acceptable. Anyhow, what do you guys think of him?

[carlos21]

nice oc

[TehGameBob]

nice oc

Thanks! I've actually been in the process of 'remodelling' him for the past few days; turns out Hyperalgesia isn't a disability, it's a symptom of a symptom of a very serious condition- a condition which, I find, would make everyday life very, very difficult. So what I've done is given him Occipital Neuralgia; chronic pain in the upper neck, back of the head and behind the eyes. I'll have to get rid of his gloves, but I can at least keep the idea of him being on medication; the adverse effects of Naproxen, however, may prove... difficult, to work into his story.

[carlos21]

oh okay thats a cool idea mine would be based around my real life disability called cerebrel polsey

[FoxtrotZero]

EDIT:
Yeeeep. I need to lrn2search. Apparantley my OP wasn't very original.
I guess since my post was relocated and this is kind of a bump, I'll have to rewrite out the "hey, I have this idea but I'm kinda worried about how people will react so PLEASE don't tear me limb-from-limb" stuff I tend to write when I start a thread.

[FoxtrotZero]

EDIT:
Yeeeep. I need to lrn2search. Apparantley my OP wasn't very original.
I guess since my post was relocated and this is kind of a bump, I'll have to rewrite out the "hey, I have this idea but I'm kinda worried about how people will react so PLEASE don't tear me limb-from-limb" stuff I tend to write when I start a thread.

Alright, I thought there were some rules about reviving dead topics, but I couldn't seem to find them. I hope I'm not wrong when the gist was "don't do it unless you have something to add to the thread".

Anyway, being an OC thread, I've actually put a lot of thought into one of my own, and I'm going to post it at the risk of looking like a fool. I'm likewise making a new post, since the whole effort is a bit futile if nobody sees it, and who knows, maybe the thread will actually be revived.

Name: Tyler Hayato Fox
Hometown: Dover, United Kingdom
Birthday: January 15th
Zodiac: Capricorn
Blood Type: B+
Height: 180cm (5'11")
Weight: 68kg (150lbs)
Hair: Medium Brown
Eyes: Blue

Tyler Hayato Fox (prefers to give his surname as "Kitsune") was born in Dover, on the west coast of the United Kingdom, but his family relocated to London shortly thereafter. With a father from Bristol and mother from Sendai, Tyler inherited few looks from his mother. At the age of 14 his parents parted ways, and he elected to move to Japan with his mother.

Near the end of his first summer in Japan, he began experiencing persistant aching in the right leg; one afternoon a week later, he fell down a flight of stairs. What started as a hospital visit for a minor concussion ended with a diagnosis of unexplained muscle atrophy throughout the right leg. More than two or three steps without assistance became nearly impossible. Not yet enrolled in a school, the doctor suggested he'd have an easier time at Yamaku. Tyler accepted, and has known no 'normal' high school, best laid plans aside.

Despite being a comparatively large individual, Tyler has never been very reliant on his size, making his disability easier to cope with. Introverted with strangers but open with friends, he is described as likable, strong-willed, and very direct with his statements. Tyler is enamored with speaking languages, being remarkably fluent in English, German, Japanese, and "enough French to get by in Coquelles". Although he has a leg brace (which he designed no less) that permits him to walk very freely, he prefers to use his cane at least around school, oddly sentimental for such a rational individual. When asked why he'll tell you he doesn't feel it "fits the theme" of the school or it's surroundings, a surprising decision for an individual with such a scientific and technological mindset.

I was going to rewrite it a bit more thoroughly, but I didn't. Nonetheless, I think it's at least adequate. I feel kinda lame pulling the "half-japanese half-british" card, since that's sorta Lilly's things, but it's probably the best plot device for a British guy being fluent in Japanese and ending up in a Japanese school. Most of these things are relatively factual - personality, physical appearance, etc. - wheres a few things are obviously thrown in for interest of character; I'm a bit more interested in making myself as a character than making an exceedingly interesting character.

I figure some examples of his behaviour. He has a hearty laugh and a great sense of irony. He did undergo the initiation ritual of being knocked on his ass by Emi. He briefly considered starting an engineering club, but doubted that the school would permit an oxygen-acetylene torch. Someone once mistakenly used the phrase "best foot forward" and while they siezed out of fear of offending him, he literally couldn't stop laughing, and thus offending him is nigh-impossible. He's probably joined the music club just to get access to a proper piano. There's a good chance he'd have an open feud with Kenji, and while probably befriending Lilly and Hanako (and Hisao?), if anyone remembers Miki, she'd probably be a good friend.

Don't know how much other people care, but I enjoy answering questions, if my half-essay was insufficient.

[swifty]

Name: matthijs v/d wal

height: 1.93 mtr

weigt: idk

disabilety: unkown

a dutch teenager immegrated to japan at his 12bitthday after arrival he expierienced heavy randim headics
and comas
he was sent to yamaku on doctors orders.
however there seems to br a connection between the headichs and schizune in one of the comas the patiant sayd "her eyes..."
subject also seems to be jealus on hisao for his ralation with hanako however
when schizune is around matthijs his interests shift from hanako to schizune.
once he asked schizune out and then after his dateforgot all about it...

[Oddball]

Anyway, being an OC thread, I've actually put a lot of thought into one of my own, and I'm going to post it at the risk of looking like a fool. I'm likewise making a new post, since the whole effort is a bit futile if nobody sees it, and who knows, maybe the thread will actually be revived.

Well, he seems like he has some potential. There's a few comments I'd make on it though.

Tyler Hayato Fox (prefers to give his surname as "Kitsune")

I don't see any real reason for making up a different last name. Using Kitsune as a nickname would probably work better.

Although he has a leg brace (which he designed no less) that permits him to walk very freely,

Not a good idea. Leave designing the medical apparatus to the people that know what they're doing. Now perhaps he was given one and "modified" it to make it more comfortable or what he'd consider more practical, but it shouldn't be anything an actual medical professional (like Nurse!) would approve of.

oddly sentimental for such a rational individual. When asked why he'll tell you he doesn't feel it "fits the theme" of the school or it's surroundings, a surprising decision for an individual with such a scientific and technological mindset.

I have no idea what you're trying to say here.

I was going to rewrite it a bit more thoroughly, but I didn't. Nonetheless, I think it's at least adequate. I feel kinda lame pulling the "half-japanese half-british" card, since that's sorta Lilly's things, but it's probably the best plot device for a British guy being fluent in Japanese and ending up in a Japanese school.

He could be a British kid that was adopted by a Japanese family that eventually returned home, or maybe he's completely British and his family moved to Japan for work related reasons when he was still really young.

I'm a bit more interested in making myself as a character than making an exceedingly interesting character.

Be very VERY careful about this. When writing yourself as a character, many people tend to paint themselves in a far too positive light, and there's a few things you've mentioned that tend to suggest you're starting to lean that way. The nickname, making his own leg brace, the vast knowledge of languages, it adds up really quickly, so be careful.

[FoxtrotZero]

Anyway, being an OC thread, I've actually put a lot of thought into one of my own, and I'm going to post it at the risk of looking like a fool. I'm likewise making a new post, since the whole effort is a bit futile if nobody sees it, and who knows, maybe the thread will actually be revived.

Well, he seems like he has some potential. There's a few comments I'd make on it though.

Wow. I was hoping for some criticism, but you've certainly obliged me.

Tyler Hayato Fox (prefers to give his surname as "Kitsune")

I don't see any real reason for making up a different last name. Using Kitsune as a nickname would probably work better.

That's a possiblity, and you might be right, in which case I'd drop the notion altogether. At the time the concept of... I think the correct phrase is naturalizing? Made a bit of sense.

Although he has a leg brace (which he designed no less) that permits him to walk very freely,

Not a good idea. Leave designing the medical apparatus to the people that know what they're doing. Now perhaps he was given one and "modified" it to make it more comfortable or what he'd consider more practical, but it shouldn't be anything an actual medical professional (like Nurse!) would approve of.

I'll admit, this isn't the sort of thing I'd think of. But you're absolutely right. I've learned in the past few days that building things isn't ever as easy as it seems (I couldn't keep my riot vest from ungluing). I think this came naturally because I have been desigining it (by which I mean thinking it through thoroughly, not actually drawing schematics) and I didn't give it a second thought. I could see giving it a coat of paint and replacing the knee joint as being the extent of it's modification (and I won't get into the details, but the knee joint with three different lock types isn't something I've fully worked out).

oddly sentimental for such a rational individual. When asked why he'll tell you he doesn't feel it "fits the theme" of the school or it's surroundings, a surprising decision for an individual with such a scientific and technological mindset.

I have no idea what you're trying to say here.

This seems like a kludge that came from me trying to edit in an afterthought and failing. It's kind of irrelevant, because the more thought I've put into it over the last week, the less and less practical it seems to voluntarily opt for a cane over a leg brace (and in all honestly, if he's anything like me you would have to have a pretty strong argument to persuade him against using it). However, the end of the statement basically translates to "he likes machines and computers".

I was going to rewrite it a bit more thoroughly, but I didn't. Nonetheless, I think it's at least adequate. I feel kinda lame pulling the "half-japanese half-british" card, since that's sorta Lilly's things, but it's probably the best plot device for a British guy being fluent in Japanese and ending up in a Japanese school.

He could be a British kid that was adopted by a Japanese family that eventually returned home, or maybe he's completely British and his family moved to Japan for work related reasons when he was still really young.

Well part of the reason for this device is more truth in character. My parents are divorced. My relationship with my father is weak, and I'm a bit distant from my mother (but that's probably standard fare for a highschooler). The part where he's leaving the country for an uncertain future is kinda hard to jump, but the idea of living in another country is something I think I'd seriously consider in his shoes.

I'm a bit more interested in making myself as a character than making an exceedingly interesting character.

Be very VERY careful about this. When writing yourself as a character, many people tend to paint themselves in a far too positive light, and there's a few things you've mentioned that tend to suggest you're starting to lean that way. The nickname, making his own leg brace, the vast knowledge of languages, it adds up really quickly, so be careful.

You're absolutely right. I did start to idealize him in a few aspects, and you've brought up some first-rate points. I think I'll drop the nickname part and change the leg brace story. Languages are an interesting point. He'd obviously be fluent in English. Having a Japanese mother and then living in the country for three or four years lends itself to having a good grip on the langauge. Personally, I'm very interested by learning languages, and while it's actually a Spanish class I take, compared to the rest of the class I excel. German might be hard to work into the story, but French was a realism ploy - Dover has a lot of ferrys to and from France, and knowing enough French to get around (and I mean literally, ask directions or about the bathroom) seemed like it would be an easy-to-acquire skill.

I also clear forgot to mention something that I take as a serious part of my identity, and that's depression. I suffer pretty badly from it, though I've gotten very good at managing, and I wouldn't even think of liberating him from the condition.

If I ever find that empty sketchbook and get any decent with drawing (I've recently decided to try to develop some skill) I might put up a few drawings.

[Heartless Wanderer]

This is a rough overview of a character idea I haven't quite finished fine-tuning yet, who exists primarily as a Social Link character for my crossover fanfiction, Katawa Shoujo: Persona.

A male student in his senior year at Yamaku (let's call him Subject A for now) who has been attending the school since the beginning of his second year. He actually has no disabilities to speak of, being one of those rare students who transferred to the school intentionally for other reasons. His mother suffered some kind of disability of her own (I haven't decided exactly what) and died of possibly-unrelated causes while Subject A was still very young--young enough to remember feeling attached, not old enough to remember much else. His mother having graduated from Yamaku Academy, the place held a certain appeal to him. In his freshman year he decided he wanted to walk a career path that involved helping the disabled in some way, shape, or form. Partly due to that, and partly out of a desire to better understand his mother, he transferred to Yamaku during his second year of high school and has spent the previous year attempting to better understand those around him--with limited success.

Subject A's various attempts to "better understand" those around him include experiments such as trying to spend a day blindfolded every so often, attempting to do things with his feet or his off-hand to mimic the adaptive methods of amputees or people born without certain limbs, and learning sign language. The former two are things he has practiced in secret and, while not particularly good at them, they've given him a certain perspective on and admiration for people who actually live with and adapt to those kinds of disabilities.

Despite his desire to understand other people, he is a relatively introverted individual and rarely actually approaches other people to befriend them. His lack of actual social or romantic experience is still somewhat of a hindrance to his ambitions. He has a few "lunch break buddies" and casual friends but nothing more substantial than that. He is particularly timid around those of the opposite sex.

Subject A is a slightly short, somewhat skinny boy who isn't too good-looking and isn't particularly bad-looking either. His hair is short and black, and his eyes are brown. He looks as if he may have a dash of foreign ancestry but is predominantly Asian in appearance. His sense of style is rather bland, with outfits consisting of plain jeans and the occasional logo t-shirt. He is somewhat near-sighted, but only wears his glasses when he needs to read things at a distance. He often forgets to take his glasses with him when he leaves his dorm in the morning, which usually bites him in the butt later on in the day.

He's a member of the school's book club and can often be found reading everything from fiction to nonfiction in the library. One of his favorite passtimes is writing up detailed critiques of the works he reads. During his second year of high school he was a member of Student Council, but was repelled by Shizune's pushy nature to the point where he eventually left altogether. Whatever passed as friendship or civility between the two faded into passing acquaintance soon after. The two might pass each other in the hallway, but the most that ever happens is that they offer each other casual greetings in sign.

[FoxtrotZero]

-lolsnip-

That's certainly interesting. I don't know how easy it would be to just up and transfer into a place like Yamako, but that's not really the point. You've managed to create a character without a disability (which is kind of a defining point for characters who would go to Yamako) who still has an interesting streak and a reason for being there.

I ended up rewriting my character, again, taking a bit more of a practical approach given Oddball's input.

Tyler Hayato Fox was born in Dover, United Kingdom, although he largely lived in London. His father was of mixed British ancestry, from Bristol, and his mother moved to the UK (originally on business) from Sendai, Japan. An only child, his parents' relationship slowly disintegrated and they seperated with little incident. In the few months he lived between them, he grew farther from his father for no distinguishable reason.

So when his mother decided to return to Japan, he eventually made the decision to go with her, in part because of a stronger relationship with his mother and in part because of an interest in life in a foreign country, particularly one like Japan. Living in Japan before starting High School, he had no real difficulty in learning the language. One afternoon, after a week of dull, nondescript aching up and down his right leg, it gave way while walking down a flight of stairs.

What began as doctor's visit for a minor concussion ended with a diagnosis of muscle atrophy throughout his right leg. The doctors couldn't be sure if it would spread, and for a while he was confined to a wheelchair. Just as rapidly as the problem had revealed itself, it retreated, leaving him with only a bad right leg, making more than a few steps without assistance nearly impossible. Because he hadn't started high school yet, Tyler took to the doctor's reccomendation of Yamako relatively well (though honestly everyone has their reservations about a school for the disabled).

Tyler is a relatively large individual, standing a bit more tall and a bit more broad than those around him, and while it tends to deter anyone from giving him trouble, he can forget his size at times. He gets along with people casually well enough, but is somewhat introverted, and tends to keep to a few close friends. He's seen as strong-willed or even stubborn at times, and tends to make direct statements, as opposed to skirting around things.

Tyler only takes a few pills, twice daily, to supposedly help counter the muscle atrophy in his leg which, while slow to begin with, can only ever get worse. Most of the time the leg offers him no pain, and occasionally aches a bit, but every once in a while it can become quite sharp, for which the doctor has prescribed a strong painkiller (for which side-effects seem to be unattentiveness and staring into the distance). However, he takes nothing for depression, which affects him strongly and randomly - while good at dealing with it, it is a persistent and recursive problem.

An interest in language helped him in learning Japanese, and he aspires to be multilingual. He is good in math, and has always taken naturally to science, and regularly learns about things on his own time. He is interested in machinery (with quite a passion for steam-era locomotives) and excellent with computers, and has long since set himself on a career in engineering.

His technical interests have manifested themselves in a handful of modifications to the brace which permits him to walk (by diverting his weight from his leg, through the brace, and directly into the boot) ranging from a coat of paint and more comfortable straps to a diagram for a much more complicated knee joint. Along with the brace, when out of school uniform he tends to always wear a variance on the same theme; thick, canvas cargo pants and a button-front shirt.

As far as existing KS characters go, Tyler would probably end up friends with Lilly, and possibly Hanako (but "being friends with Hanako" is easier said than done). Likewise, Miki from Hanako's arc seems like the type of person he would associate with. Depending on what goes on there, he might have joined the music club, namely if it gets him access to a piano.

[Heartless Wanderer]

-lolsnip-

That's certainly interesting. I don't know how easy it would be to just up and transfer into a place like Yamako, but that's not really the point. You've managed to create a character without a disability (which is kind of a defining point for characters who would go to Yamako) who still has an interesting streak and a reason for being there.

It's actually stated at one point that you don't need a disability to enroll at Yamaku, but not many students go there if they don't have one. The only limits are the tuition costs and the fact that Yamaku doesn't accept students with mental disabilities. I forget which story and scene actually said these things, though. I do remember that Misha mentioned that she wouldn't be able to afford tuition if she weren't aspiring to be a sign language instructor, though.

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

The only limits are the tuition costs and the fact that Yamaku doesn't accept students with learning disabilities.

Fixed. Too many people make this mistake. I think they take things too literally to realise Lilly didn't want to just go out and say "Yamaku won't take retarded kids".

[Heartless Wanderer]

The only limits are the tuition costs and the fact that Yamaku doesn't accept students with learning disabilities.

Fixed. Too many people make this mistake. I think they take things too literally to realise Lilly didn't want to just go out and say "Yamaku won't take retarded kids".

I thought the word the novel itself used was "mental." That having been said, that's pretty much what I meant.

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

The only limits are the tuition costs and the fact that Yamaku doesn't accept students with learning disabilities.

Fixed. Too many people make this mistake. I think they take things too literally to realise Lilly didn't want to just go out and say "Yamaku won't take retarded kids".

I thought the word the novel itself used was "mental." That having been said, that's pretty much what I meant.

It is, but Lilly is the one who said it, and she's the type to... sensitise things, I guess you could call it. It's a poor choice of words on her part, given her best friend suffers from what is pretty much PTSD and has a crippling social phobia; both "mental disabilities" by the expected definition of the term.