Quixoticism wrote:Even though she technically isn't one of the disabled students I would like to see a branch for Misha. I find her character the most entertaining.
(I'm not sure what kind of role she plays in Shizune's branch as I played through and ended up with Emi.)
Well consideringShe entered the academy separately and became Shizune's interpreter afterwards, there must be more than meets the eye.
Anyway, two quick typos in Rin's route.
screenshot0002.png (888.51 KiB) Viewed 10490 times
"...the stands are around the courtyard..."
screenshot0003.png (775.41 KiB) Viewed 10494 times
drop the s
Last edited by Silentcook on Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason:Taken care of typo, and thanks.
One more that I found that I haven't seen mentioned, in Rin's Clouds in My Head scene:
Also, with regard to this particular bit of dialogue, I am not entirely sure that 'the' in "this is THE reality" is entirely necessary. Something to look into possibly changing, at least.
Last edited by Silentcook on Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason:Taken care of errors, and thanks.
Warwick wrote:Anyway, two quick typos in Rin's route.
"...the stands are around the courtyard..."
drop the s
In the former case, both the main attractions in the main building (the first main may be superfluous) and the stands around the courtyard are far away from the dorms. Adding an 'are' there would actually be inappropriate.
In the latter, both forms are acceptable. In fact, I think it would be more awkward to drop the 's'.
AppreciativeUser wrote:In the former case, both the main attractions in the main building (the first main may be superfluous) and the stands around the courtyard are far away from the dorms. Adding an 'are' there would actually be inappropriate.
In the latter, both forms are acceptable. In fact, I think it would be more awkward to drop the 's'.
Read the first one more carefully. Thanks for the correction. The sentence is a little long to go without commas, though, so it confused me. Personally, I've never heard of someone "in pains," so it sounded awkward to me.
EDIT: Oh, and I meant to submit this a while ago. I believe the Jukebox's song list is supposed to be in alphabetical order, but Aria de l'etoile is out of order.
Attachments
screenshot0004.png (325.67 KiB) Viewed 10439 times
I must say, I'm very impressed. It must have been a few years ago when I saw the original image that inspired this on 4chan, and I was really surprised when I found out that it had actually been made into a game. I was even more surprised when I saw that it was in English. I actually had never played a proper VN before this, so I went into it half-unaware, but the game was nearly spotless. I love the characters, and the art is phenomenal. Apart from a few typos here and there, I really can't fault this game on anything. Voice acting would be nice, but it's perfectly fine without it. I'm really interested to see how the relationships and characters will play out, especially Rin and Kenji. Even though I got Kenji's bad end on the first run through, I really was absorbed into it, and I went back and got all the other endings. Again, really looking forward to the completed product. Congrats on the great opening, and good luck on the rest.
Not that I've got a whole lot of experience with visual novels/dating sim games [outside of a couple BL games and Tsukihime], but to be completely honest I would have never guessed this was created by an english team if I didn't know in advance. You guys have done a very, very good job of replicating Japanese style. And despite the fact that it's about dating girls [and I'm into other guys], I'm still very intrigued in following this, so you're definitely doing a very good job of making the appeal very believable and real.
With that said, I have a question re Kenji...
1. If he -does- have a specific route/ending scene, how do you get it (If it's in the demo)? And is there plans for a full route?
2. If there -isn't- plans for a route for him, why not? I'm not saying you guys have to go full H route - it's pretty obvious the main character's supposed to be straight [and Kenji's I can't figure out whether he's got the most awkward response to finding girls attractive ever, or if this is just a really strange manifestation of him being attracted to guys], though I'd love a route in which Kenji falls for the main character and ends up catching him in some utterly ridiculous situation despite our hero trying to shake him off. If not that, then drop the attraction and just two guys duking it out against the world's conspiracies! I think Kenji is far too interesting and 'whacked' as a character to be left without at least a chance to have a starring role.
On that note, about the others, in order of least favourite to favourite...
Emi: I don't see much to her yet. I'm sure she'll be interesting in her own way, but nothing about her particularly makes her feel at all interesting to me. I'll probably try to see more of her scenes and see what I get and if that changes my mind, but right now she's come off as an Energetic Sports Loli, which is very far from my type...
Misha & Shizune: First, Misha. God damn Misha annoys me. It's a very interesting mechanic to write a character who's talking for two people, but she seems more energetically loud and obnoxious than anyone else I know (And I say that in a bad way, unfortunately), but I think that's sorta deliberate. And Shizune's a bitch so that doesn't really help. With that said, I am interested in following this route in the full version for one reason: to see how the romance actually occurs. Trying to date someone when you have to communicate through a third party... Oh, and to find out what Misha's disability is. Seriously, she seems to be the most completely healthy person there...
Hanako: I kinda feel sorry for this poor little girl, which I think is part of the point of how she's written (at least for now). Her shyness is a little ridiculous but I can bring myself to believe it given the issues she has physically - although, given the social status and friendliness of the school, the fact it has persisted is a little odd to me. Either way, I do kinda like her, and having her around for interactions with Lilly is definitely not something I have a problem with.
Lilly: The ending that I've achieved at the time of writing this. I seriously respect this girl. For some reason, dealing with blindness is the disability that intrigues me most out of the five physical disabilities offered here. And despite all that she's so mature and careful. She's not particularly quirky, but I think that's good to have someone so regular.
Rin: I want to get her ending. I can't figure her out at all, even the term airhead doesn't seem to be able to accurately describe her. Sometimes she seems so strange and occasionally unlikable, but in that way it reminds me of people I actually knew and regularly hung around in my high school days - especially in that the rest of the time you're not sure what to do but you're enjoying it anyway.
I honesty think you guys are going to set some sort of standard for western-created Visual Novel projects here. Especially if you're planning to offer this free, you might just be surprised at the appeal this has...
No, it really sort of wasn't, seeing as how I just got it. With that said, I can still hope for more in the future. Even for a bad end it was still hilarious though
No glasses
No napkins
Whiskey only
FINAL DESTINATION
Oh yeah. Bug report here:
error: Event queue full
While running game code:
- script call at line 1063 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy
- script at line 924 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy
- python at line 924 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy.
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\bootstrap.py", line 255, in bootstrap
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\main.py", line 308, in main
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\main.py", line 92, in run
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\execution.py", line 230, in run
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\ast.py", line 558, in execute
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\python.py", line 912, in py_exec_bytecode
File "/Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy", line 924, in <module>
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\exports.py", line 592, in pause
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\ui.py", line 69, in interact
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\display\core.py", line 1356, in interact
File "d:\Program Files\Katawa Shoujo Act 1\renpy\display\core.py", line 1868, in interact_core
error: Event queue full
While running game code:
- script call at line 1063 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy
- script at line 924 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy
- python at line 924 of /Users/delta/Documents/ks svn/Katawa Shoujo Act 1/game/ui_labels.rpy.
Time of occurance: This occured during Kenji's bad end, shortly after the credits started to roll. I was trying to get it to speed up again but it didn't seem to work. Thinking I couldn't remember which button did it I kept pushing a few different keys, then, Bam.
This game is amazing. I only just found out about it a few days ago on Sanaku Complex, downloaded it and was lost in this little school world of deformities you guys have created. The characters are incredibly well done and I can't say there's a single character I truly dislike (Though Shizune's competitive and combative nature is mildly grating, but even then, it's enjoyable to feel like someone is challenging you).
Beyond the girls and their hilarious antics, I have to say that Hisao's arrythmia is completely engrossing. Everytime he starts doing something strenuous I eagerly anticipate his next episode. Admittedly when I was given the option to race Emi, I knew it would lead to a attack and I simply could not resist seeing him push his perceived limits. Not because I hate him, no. I like him. There's just something about the weakness and...I dunno, sympathy? he gets from everyone when it happens thats strangely gratifying, like he's being validated as more than just a mild extension of your will, he's actually a character that people care about.
I'm also quite impressed with the Nurse, Muto and especially Kenji. I would love to see more scenes in the finished product with the Nurse and Muto. I'm positive there will be much more fun with Kenji as well (I love that blind little guy). It would be awesome also if further along the story, Hisao's Arrhythmia and his characterization concerning it were explored more fully. What does he really think about it? Does he consider it a complete impediment and fall into physical lethargy concerning exertion in all forms? Or will he be given the option to push the envelop a little bit? Even if it has disastrous results, seeing him at least fighting his condition in his own way would be great to see.
And perhaps a secret "ending" concerning Kenji where we find out that, maybe, he's not so crazy after all.....
In terms of visual appearance, the wrist looks so odd (at least for me) that it looks disjointed. But otherwise, everything else within this game is perfect.
At first I was skeptical of a VN done on disabilities, but warmed up to the fact there's love for all types of people. So I thank you for all this. Hanako and Lilly... d'awww. And I knew about this before you released the demo (about the time you guys had the discussion on it). Would love to see the final product.
There is a set of music during "Lunch Evolution Theory" that sounds... off. When they are sitting in the classroom, the song sounds... I just don't know how to describe it. You know when you're watching an anime and suddenly someone says something really stupid, so stupid that even the background music grinds to a halt? That song has a few off notes that sound like that near the end of the cycle.
I'd look into fixing that, because it's incredibly jarring. I'm expecting one of the girls to smack me or something every time it happens.
EDIT: Listening to it again, I think it happens right as the song ends, before it starts repeating again.
Tarage wrote:There is a set of music during "Lunch Evolution Theory" that sounds... off. When they are sitting in the classroom, the song sounds... I just don't know how to describe it. You know when you're watching an anime and suddenly someone says something really stupid, so stupid that even the background music grinds to a halt? That song has a few off notes that sound like that near the end of the cycle.
I'd look into fixing that, because it's incredibly jarring. I'm expecting one of the girls to smack me or something every time it happens.
EDIT: Listening to it again, I think it happens right as the song ends, before it starts repeating again.
I'd noticed this, as well. I do think that particular song could use a rework, but it's the only black mark I can think of among the otherwise stellar soundtrack.
Tarage wrote:A thought. It's a bit hard to tell when Misha is talking for herself and when she is talking for Shizune.
Maybe color the text differently? Or perhaps switch Misha's color from pink to blue? Just a thought.
Going through their scenes I was thinking the same thing. It would definately help preventing any confusion with some sort of way to visually differentiate who is "speaking" at the time.
