Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Valjean Lafitte
Posts: 369
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:44 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Valjean Lafitte » Sat Jan 03, 2015 9:53 am

TyronePotato wrote:
Also it's a bit tedious reading this in notepad, what with the constant scrolling to the right and stuff. Any other ways of reading that make it easier?

EDIT: I have found the wonders of a program called Microsoft Word.. strange device, it is..
You could've also just turned Word Wrap on in Notepad.
"I wonder what is it about the rain?"
"Everything."

User avatar
TyronePotato
Posts: 76
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:43 am
Location: Akron, Ohio
Contact:

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by TyronePotato » Sat Jan 03, 2015 1:47 pm

Valjean Lafitte wrote:
TyronePotato wrote:
Also it's a bit tedious reading this in notepad, what with the constant scrolling to the right and stuff. Any other ways of reading that make it easier?

EDIT: I have found the wonders of a program called Microsoft Word.. strange device, it is..
You could've also just turned Word Wrap on in Notepad.
I..

Damn it, proven stupid yet again.
ooooh feels.

User avatar
Valjean Lafitte
Posts: 369
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:44 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Valjean Lafitte » Sat Jan 03, 2015 2:18 pm

TyronePotato wrote:
Valjean Lafitte wrote:
TyronePotato wrote:
Also it's a bit tedious reading this in notepad, what with the constant scrolling to the right and stuff. Any other ways of reading that make it easier?

EDIT: I have found the wonders of a program called Microsoft Word.. strange device, it is..
You could've also just turned Word Wrap on in Notepad.
I..

Damn it, proven stupid yet again.
Haha, it's no big deal. I've done plenty of dumber things. :wink:
"I wonder what is it about the rain?"
"Everything."

khaz
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:54 pm

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by khaz » Sun Jan 04, 2015 2:26 am

HOLY FUCK SURIKO I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN

Image

User avatar
300BillionDegrees
Posts: 199
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:53 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by 300BillionDegrees » Tue Jan 13, 2015 9:59 pm

I am finally catching up and reading through this. Not nearly finished yet, but "Since I had to format my computer after letting you use it for five bloody minutes?" - I couldn't help laughing at this, because I've known people exactly like that where I used to work :lol:

User avatar
BMFJack
Posts: 165
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:53 pm

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by BMFJack » Mon Jan 19, 2015 2:34 am

So it took me a long time to finish all of it, and I can think of only one thing to say...

You broke the curse.

User avatar
ArcCain
Posts: 333
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:00 am
Location: The internet.

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by ArcCain » Mon Jan 19, 2015 5:40 pm

Apart from the misspellings it was a good read. Could have used some more proofreading but it was nice overall.
A good writer knows his limits. A great writer finds ways around them.

User avatar
witchkiller9999
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:34 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by witchkiller9999 » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:43 pm

Since this is in the fanfic section I didn't think much of it initially, but this is surprisingly good even with the typo's, in fact I loved it, which isn't all that surprising to me i guess coz Suriko is my favorite writer among the 4LS staff for writing Lilly's route. Miki is now my 2nd favorite, which fluctuates to 3rd sometimes when i think about Hanako.

<perv mode on>
Too bad this won't be added to the game. I bet she'd have the best h-scenes  :mrgreen:  (or a really close 2nd to Lilly)
I would've loved to see that noon run a......
</perv mode off before i creep my self out>

Only saw this now, but thank you very much for the late Christmas gift  :D
And a belated merry Christmas and happy new year to you Suriko! I hope to read more of your amazing work in the future.

User avatar
nemz
Posts: 531
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:39 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by nemz » Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:22 am

That was pretty cool. The endings felt a little forced in both cases but it was a fun journey getting there.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

User avatar
Shockproof Jamo
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:30 pm

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Shockproof Jamo » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:37 am

THIS ENTIRE POST IS A MASSIVE SPOILER!!!!

Whew, finally managed to finish this. The obvious typos notwithstanding, I was mostly satisfied with this reading experience. It was refreshing, because it shed quite a lot of much welcomed light into the lives and personalities of two of the most popular sideshow characters.

Here's a question, however, that I'd like to point directly to Suriko: What exactly was Suzu hoping to achieve by coming out to her family so bluntly about her gayness? Her timing and delivery of the confession were just completely off, all she managed to do was to almost ruin the whole vacation for the whole group.

Also, what exactly were the main motivators that drove Suzu into attempting suicide? Was she tired of her illness and her body not functioning properly? Was Suzu envious of Miki's outgoing personality and ability to make friends and hold a social life, while she was almost a full blown hikki, destined to a life of loneliness post-Yamaku (which is the impression that I got)? Or was she crushed that badly by the knowledge that she'd have to forever live with the weight of her parents' judgmental attitude and lack of acceptance towards her homosexuality?

Some of the moments that I enjoyed were the The House of the Dead-session between Miki and Hisao at the town arcade, Miki's blowjob to Hisao (almost as epic in it's awkwardness as the now infamous shed-scene was during Emi's path), and the lonely moment that Miki spent in her thoughts, just by herself in her old classroom in the old, empty school building. These were some of the moments that, I feel, represented some of the finer writing in this story. That blowjob scene totally made me lose my sides.

I must, however, criticize both of the endings, as they feel much too abrupt, like a car crash into a brick wall, and especially so in Suzu's path. I think the biggest lost opportunity there was that Suzu's parents weren't explored enough. Whether they like it or not, whether they care or not, they ended up owing their daughter's life to Miki. Without her quick actions, Suzu would've most likely succeeded in her suicide attempt. So, I felt that an additional scene during the ending, featuring some sort of truce agreement between Miki and Suzu's parents would've been cool. That could've been used as a device to further allow Miki and Suzu breathe easier in their relationship, knowing that even if Suzu's parents don't quite agree with it, they at least are now more tolerant of Miki, having received proof that Miki's presence in Suzu's life doesn't have to be a negative thing.

In the Hisao-branch, Hisao, out of nowhere suddenly goes on full douchebag mode previously familiar from the Rin-path, and starts chastising Miki for her bad performance in school, just a scant few months away from graduation when it's too late to do anything about it. Just a few hours later they kiss and make up, while riding together into the sunset. I think it was all just much too fast.

Other than that, good show here.

YZQ
Posts: 1290
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:21 am

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by YZQ » Sun Mar 01, 2015 7:27 pm

I guess in the Japanese context, there never is a "good time" to come out of the closet. Might as well do it as bombastically as possible.

Also, Suzu is a minority within a minority. It would be darn difficult for her to find company which wouldn't mind her disability or her homosexuality.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."

"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."

User avatar
Steinherz
Posts: 2095
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:06 am
Location: New England

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Steinherz » Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:23 pm

YZQ wrote:I guess in the Japanese context, there never is a "good time" to come out of the closet. Might as well do it as bombastically as possible.

Also, Suzu is a minority within a minority. It would be darn difficult for her to find company which wouldn't mind her disability or her homosexuality.
Not too sure about that.

Anyone know how to summon Megumeru to give us an explanation?
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3487
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by brythain » Mon Mar 02, 2015 10:22 pm

Steinherz wrote:
YZQ wrote:I guess in the Japanese context, there never is a "good time" to come out of the closet. Might as well do it as bombastically as possible.

Also, Suzu is a minority within a minority. It would be darn difficult for her to find company which wouldn't mind her disability or her homosexuality.
Not too sure about that.

Anyone know how to summon Megumeru to give us an explanation?
I think it's more a social context thing — people (mostly in the entertainment industry) come out all the time, but it's not seen as the conventional thing for everyone else. This means that for 'normal' people who are in standard occupations, it's often concealed or at least not mentioned. Same with disabilities — they are not-normal and hence make people uncomfortable. But if you are an unconventional personality, or in an area of life that thrives on that, it isn't so bad, might even be a selling point.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
Steinherz
Posts: 2095
Joined: Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:06 am
Location: New England

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Steinherz » Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:23 pm

brythain wrote:
Steinherz wrote:
YZQ wrote:I guess in the Japanese context, there never is a "good time" to come out of the closet. Might as well do it as bombastically as possible.

Also, Suzu is a minority within a minority. It would be darn difficult for her to find company which wouldn't mind her disability or her homosexuality.
Not too sure about that.

Anyone know how to summon Megumeru to give us an explanation?
I think it's more a social context thing — people (mostly in the entertainment industry) come out all the time, but it's not seen as the conventional thing for everyone else. This means that for 'normal' people who are in standard occupations, it's often concealed or at least not mentioned. Same with disabilities — they are not-normal and hence make people uncomfortable. But if you are an unconventional personality, or in an area of life that thrives on that, it isn't so bad, might even be a selling point.
I've gotten a minor explanation from Megumeru (because he is Japanese and would know better than us. Some minor edits to make it less cluttered):
Megumeru wrote:
Steinherz wrote:
Megumeru wrote:Coming out of a closet...?

Coming of age ceremony? Or stop being a hikikomori?
"coming out of the closet" means "coming out as bi/homosexual"
Aah...that

Well...huh. That's usually something best kept private--people here don't really agree about that, so I think most people reveal themselves to only people they have interest in? I don't know anyone who are homosexual personally.

Parents response are usually negative, community more or less the same. So if only two people who share the same preference kept it to themselves, no one will have a problem about it :)
Megumeru wrote:I heard that response may be excommunication or disowning and it is as ready as it is (depending on the family) I think? It's like bringing shame to the family name, so most people keep it quiet or just reveal to select few.
So apparently homosexuality in Japan is just like most personal matters: Best kept private :lol:
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.

User avatar
Razoredge
Posts: 111
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:31 pm
Location: Bordeaux, France

Re: Summer's Clover (Miki Path)

Post by Razoredge » Sat Mar 21, 2015 5:40 pm

Well, if it is a "fan fic" can we translate this in a other language? ^^

This path is..... really.... awesome *o*
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route & Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post Reply