Katawa shoujo Generations

WORDS WORDS WORDS
HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:50 pm

Welcome readers, if you have stopped in to check this out I want to start off by saying THANKS. This is my first major work so my grammar will be a bit off and may need some refining so please be gentle on your input. This isn't a continuation of the ending of any existing routes or about any of the girls in Yamaku at the time Hisao is attending the school. This story is based after Hisao is out of college and becomes a teacher at Yamaku, He is no longer a main character but still has a role in the story, The story is based on a boy named Yuki Kazegawa, I'd say more but I don't want to ruin anything so ill let you good people read it on your own. One last thing I need to say is please give my story a chance and don't leave just because its not the same characters in the original (Though some may make an appearance.)
Ok ill just stop with the prelude and leave my story here. All input is accepted and welcomed.

*Introductions*

The gate before me is all that stands between my cold past, and my daunting future. I walk through the gate, and towards the school. It isn’t until I have gotten a good look at the area beyond that looming gate that I realize this place, this school is more like home than I could ever have imagined. The area surrounding the school looks like a park; the smell of fresh cut grass is on the wind, and I can hear the sounds of the other students walking to classes. I slow my pace as to delay the inevitable. As the tide of students dies down to a trickle consisting of the more reluctant kids such as myself, I manage to make out one person that’s different from the rest. He is obviously a teacher. He is average height, his hair is light brown, looks like he just woke up, and he is wearing a goofy looking sweater vest. I can’t believe they still make those.

He smiles when he sees me, and waves me over. I walk over towards him, trying my best to smile and calm my nerves. When I get to the front door he smiles, and says, “You must be Kazegawa.” He clears his throat, “your father told us that you would be arriving sometime in the morning,” he looks at me waiting on my reply

“Uh, yep that’s me,” I bow, “and you must be my homeroom teacher…” Shit, I already forgot. What did Dad say? “Mr. Nakai, right?” He smiles, and points towards the door, “Yes, that’s me. We should probably make our way to class, unless you plan on cutting class your first day?” His joke manages to lighten my mood. I follow him into the building, and into the main lobby. We walk up towards the door to the classroom. Mr. Nakai stops, and looks back at me, “Will you be wanting to introduce your self, or would you rather I tell them your name and let you do your own introducing later on?”

I think for a moment before deciding that it would be best to do it myself, and all at once. I wouldn't want to put my teacher in the weird situation of trying to introduce someone he just met. We walk into the classroom, and I get my first look at my new classmates. As the teacher begins talking about welcoming me, and that we need to all get along, I take the chance to look over my classmates, many of them look like what would pass as normal. Normal? God, they aren’t freak shows, I really shouldn’t think this way. There are a few people who stand out for one reason or another. One guy sitting in the front who is missing half of his left arm; everything below the elbow. A girl sitting in the middle of the front row catches my eye right away for more than one reason, the first being her red hair, which stands out among the majority of darker haired students, the second is that as soon the teacher looks away she flicks the girl beside her in the side of the head. It looked like a wake up call . Another girl at the far end of the row looks to a guy that looks a lot like her. He seems to be translating for her in sign language, and then glances back at me. She keeps this up for the rest of my time standing up

I hear the teacher cough slightly to get my attention. Shoot how long have i been spacing out? “Hello everyone,” I start, feeling butterflies in my stomach, “my name’s Yuki Kazegawa. I just transferred in, but I’m pretty sure that much is obvious.” My joke pays off when I see several people smile, and that gives me the encouragement I needed to continue. “My old school was in the countryside, so Yamaku isn’t much of a change for me.” I pause for a moment, “I…I… Um… I’m not very good at this. aha. I hope I can become good friends with everyone here.” I end with a smile, and look over to my teacher. He returns my smile before nodding towards the girl with the red hair, “You may take a seat next to Kari Kimura.”

I do as the teacher says, walking to my new seat. As class begins, the teacher starts handing out papers, and tells us we can work in groups. Oh great. I look around to see if anyone else is stuck without a partner. Just as I thought everyone is already in groups, to my surprise, the girl to my right looks over to me, and asks if I want to join her and her friend, and so I do. The work is pretty simple, but there are a lot of problems. We divide up the work, and get through it pretty quickly, and when we finally finish, and exchange our answers, I notice there is still a fair amount of time in class. I look up from my paper, and my two partners look over at me, “Is the work always this easy,” I ask them trying to break the silence.

“Nah, it gets harder, but luckily as it gets harder, we get less questions so the workload stays about the same, more or less,” Kari smiles, “well, at least that’s what we were told by the third years who had this class last year.”

Her friend doesn’t seem to be one for conversation. She sits looking at the clock tick away, while she taps her fingers on her desk. “They say watching a clock makes it go slower.” When she glances over at me, I smile. She tries to look annoyed, but can’t keep it up, and giggles.

She sighs, “I know. I guess I’m just impatient.“ Kari’s friend laughs. She glances towards the clock, and back to Kari and me, “Lunch is after this, and I am starving.” She looks again at the clock even though its been less than a minute since the last time. I’m about to ask Kari if she’s always like this, when I hear a thud.

I’m shocked to see her face down on the desk out cold. “What just happened,” I ask, though I know I probably sound overly concerned, considering Kari doesn't look concerned in the least

“Don’t worry. She didn’t starve to death or anything; she has narcolepsy.” Kari gives me a reassuring smile to let me know she will be fine.

“Ah ok, it’s good to hear that she’s gonna be ok.” I smile, and look from her to Kari, “Does this happen often,” I ask, wondering if maybe it’s taboo to talk about each others conditions.

Kari squirms in her seat a little. I’m about to apologize, and tell her to forget I asked when she finally breaks the silence, “Yeah, she does, but she heard we were getting a new classmate, so she decided to stay up, and try to make a good impression.” Kari laughs. She reaches over, and taps her friend on the shoulder, “Hey, Natsume~! Earth to Natsume~!” Kari turns back to me, “She hated that the last time a new kid got here; she was passed out cold, and didn’t even realize that the new kid had shown up till the next day when I asked her if she wanted to work together, and she didn’t even realize I had gotten here.” Kari grins, “I wish you could of seen the look on her face when I woke her up to work together,” Kari imitates what i can only assume to be the confused look of Natsume.

“So it’s safe to assume you were the new kid,” I say as I grin. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in transferring in late.

Kari’s smile widens, “Yeah, looks like you got me.” Her smile vanishes, but only for a split second, and then it’s back. It still give off an energetic aura, but there’s something else there. It’s a gloomy quality. It went as fast as it came, though. “I transferred in last month.” she glances over at Natsume, and pokes her in the side.

Natsume stirs a bit before lifting her head from the desk. She looks fatigued, like she hasn’t slept a wink in over a week. She looked so awake like 10 seconds ago. “I did it again, didn’t I,“ Natsume asks. She looks really gloomy, as if she just failed at something important.
“Hey now, no need to look so sad for something you can’t help,” I try to smile reassuringly. She doesn’t look any better. If anything, she looks worse. Crap. Did i just say something stupid? God, I’d feel so stupid if I really just irritated someone on the first day.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to get the idea I was a slacker or anything like that.” She is about to go on, but I cut her off, “Haha, a slacker!?!” She seems shocked by my rise in tone, “Anyone who would be willing to go as far as to have their friend smack them to help fight through the fatigue is anything but a slacker, and you didn’t even look tired till now. I can say that my first impression of you is far from a slacker.” This time, I have no trouble giving her a reassuring smile.

I’m surprised to see my attempt at a pep talk seems to have worked, but before I can continue, the bell interrupts me, and everyone gets up for lunch.

*Lunchtime and Midnight snack*

I look to see if Kari is still here or if she left me to fend for myself. Luckily, there will be no need for that today, as Kari is standing just to the left of me when I go out the door, she grabs the collar of my shirt, and pulls me away from the crowd of people. “Hey where are you taking me?” I try and fight back, but to my embarrassment, she is strong enough to drag me down the hall. “You know its not nice to kidnap someone on their first day.” She stops to laugh, and I use that moment to break free.

“Hey, that’s no fair,” she pouts. I don’t make any move to run away, but I can’t stop myself from laughing anymore. “What's so damn funny?” She scowls at me, and I lose it. I even have trouble standing up. “Fine then. I won’t treat you to lunch; you can starve for all I care.” She tries her best to look intimidating, but I can see that she is struggling to suppress a smile.

“Free lunch?” I ask, smiling while trying to keep a straight face. “Why didn’t you say so, where are we going?” She winks, and starts to continue down the hall.

I follow behind her until we get to an old looking stairwell. I’m about to start climbing when Kari puts her hands over my eyes. “Keep them closed till I say so; no peeking.” I walk up the stairs in darkness, following behind her. I can’t help but run into her when she stops to open a door. With a loud creak, the door opens, and my senses are overwhelmed with the smell of fresh air, the sounds of birds chirping, and even through my closed eyes, I can tell that the sun is shining bright. She walks out onto what I can only assume is a gravel covered roof, when I hear her stop, I continue out into the sunlight until I feel her hands on my shoulders stopping me. She turns me to the right, and with a slight giggle, “OK, you can open your eyes now.” When I open my eyes, I see why she likes this spot. From here you can see everything on the school grounds, even all the way to the small town at the bottom of the hill. The scenery around the school looks even more amazing. I could stand here all day, and take in the beauty of this school, but my stomach betrays me with a loud grumble. ”Haha. I take it someone’s a little hungry,” she asks, smiling while reaching into her bag, producing one large boxed lunch.

I laugh, “From the looks of it, you must be a lot hungrier than I am.”

She puffs out her cheeks, and pouts, but before I can say a word, a mischievous smile appears on her lips, “Yeah you’re right. I am pretty hungry, good thing I packed this extra food.”

So thats how she wants to play. “Ah so all that food is for you.” I smile, trying to look as innocent as possible, “I guess I’ll just eat when I get back to my dorm.” I walk over, and sit next to her, upon peering into her boxed lunch I see several containers of food and two cans of soda. While she’s thinking about what to say, I interrupt her thoughts, “Or,” I pause, “I can just do this,” I say as I snatch a container and a soda.

“HEY!!” She punches me in the shoulder, but its pretty obvious that she isn’t trying to hurt me. She puffs out her cheeks again and pouts, “You could of just asked.”

“But, where’s the fun in that?” I grin, “All jokes aside, why did you pack extra food?”

Her smile’s back without the mischievousness of the last one. She leans back against the fence surrounding the roof, “I heard we were getting a new kid, and I was gonna have to play tour guide.”

At first it seems like she’s going to try and tease me about being the new kid, but before I can prepare to retort, she continues, “Soooo, I have been bringing my lunch as an excuse to bring the new kid up to my favorite lunch spot,” she almost sounds sweet, “but I never expected to have to bring extra food for a whole week before said new kid would show up.”

“Ah so you know about that?” I almost forgot I was supposed to be here a week ago. “Yeah I know; I was supposed to be here a week ago, it’s just I live pretty far away from here.” She seems interested in my explanation so I continue, “I wasn’t feeling too well last week, but unfortunately, it was all in my head. I was afraid to come here, and be a loner... again,” I try and laugh to pass off my odd opening up as a joke.

“You don’t have to worry about that here. The only people who get excluded are the people who feel better being alone, but everyone still tries to include them as much as they can,” she smiles, not put off about my awkward opening up. “And besides, even if that wasn’t true, us new kids gotta stick together right?” Her smile is so infectious that I can’t help but be pulled from my previous depressed state.

“I’m glad to hear I already made a friend.” I can’t help but smile. I pop the top on my can, and take a long swig, “Thanks for the lunch,” I pause praying this next part doesn’t come out as weird as I think it will, “and for the company.” She giggles. Shit. Now she thinks I’m some social moron.

“Why are you thanking me, you ‘stole’ that food,” she winks at me, “and besides did you forget; us new kids we gotta stick together.” Maybe I got away with that little screw up.

She starts digging into her food, and I dig into my stolen bounty. Lunch passes uneventfully. Since today is Saturday, there aren’t any afternoon classes. Once we finish our lunch, we decide to hang out on the roof for a bit longer before she would start playing tour guide again. We pass the time by talking about the school clubs and activities. When that subject dies out, I stand up, and walk to the center of the roof. “Where do you think you’re going? Don’t think you can leave just because I’m feeling a little too lazy to play tour guide right this moment.” Her sarcastic tone rings out loud and clear through her teasing.

“Don’t start that now. I’m not going anywhere till you are ready to play tour guide again; I might get lost out here in this confusing school.” I laugh at my own remark unable to even try and keep a straight face.

“I feel the same as you. This is the perfect weather to be lazy, and the best lazy activity is cloud watching,” I force myself to sound serious, and not to crack a smile. “it’s a very intellectual sport, creating something out of nothing. It’s like art that only you can see.” As I pass on my philosophy, I lay on the ground, and stare up at the sky. I glance over at Kari, and see she has a very confused expression. I wonder how much farther I can push this. “Ah yes, that one reminds me very much of a Van Gogh painting I saw once in a museum,” I add as much of an sophisticated tone as I can.

I close my eyes for a moment, and take in the warmth of the sun, like a plant going through photosynthesis. My relaxed state is broken by the sound of Kari walking towards me. As she gets closer, I start to wonder if she is gonna kick me or hit me again, but I doubt it. I hear her footsteps stop just besides me, “You know, you sound more like a pompous ass than a philosopher.” Her words lack any harshness at all. She lays back, and takes in the beauty of the sky above us.

We stay like this for awhile, a comfortable silence settling over us. I don’t want to come off as boring, so I attempt to start a conversation, “Is this how you typically spend your Saturdays, slacking off on the roof?”

She half chuckles, “I haven't heard any objections from you.”

“True, true. I guess you're right; I suppose a lazy Saturday is always nice.” I stifle a yawn, the warm, and relaxing air of the roof is causing my resistance to falter as I close my eyes again. I hear Kari say something, but can’t make it out, as I slip into sweet sleep. I know she will jab me in the side when she sees I'm asleep, and then she’ll tease me, but I'm fine with that. I just want to catch a few winks.

No dreams come to me, good or bad. I soon feel myself slip back into consciousness. The warmth from the sun seems to have faded; has a storm moved in on us? I almost consider just falling back asleep whether or not there’s a storm. As I try to slip back to sleep, a sound breaks my resolve: the soft snoring of someone else near me. Did she fall asleep too? I open my eyes to see thousands of beautiful stars lighting up the night sky. All of the clouds are gone, leaving only this amazing view. Despite it being during the summer, the night air has a chill to it, but I like it, it’s refreshing. I roll over, and see Kari next to me on her side, facing me. Wow, she looks beautiful. The light from the moon and stars shine and reflect off her hair, making it look even more dazzling. I take in the beauty of the girl beside me, praying she doesn't wake up, and think I’m some creep who likes watching girls sleep.

After a few more moments, I decide it would be best to wake her up, so we can get back to our dorms. I get up, and kneel beside her, gently shaking her shoulder. I whisper, “Hey Kari, time to wake up.” She opens her eyes, and looks confused, “Why is it so dark out?”

I offer her my hand to help her up, “We kinda fell asleep while watching the clouds.” I smile, and stifle a laugh.

Her eyes wander around our surroundings, and finally she gazes up to the sky. I expect her to get angry, to be disappointed that she wasted her Saturday. To my surprise, she just smiles and laughs. When she looks back to me, her smile is mischievous, and I’m kind of afraid of what she’s going to say. I’m about to ask her what's with the look when she speaks, “If I have been asleep till now,” she pauses, raising an eyebrow at me, “then what have you been doing?”

I can feel my jaw go slack. I considered she might think something like that but never figured she would try and make a joke of it, but two can play at that game. I smirk, “Nothing really; just sitting here watching you sleep. I’m into that sort of thing.” I wink to end my joke.

She fakes shock, and smacks away my hand, jumping to her feet. “If thats the case, you better stay far away from Natsume.” She takes up a defensive stance like she wants to fight, “I know karate, judo, taekwondo…” she pauses, trying to see if her words have the intended effect. I fake a terrified look, and she continues her stern face, but it breaks into a smile before long, “And several other very dangerous sounding words.”
We both begin to laugh at her joke before she seems to realize something, “Shit. I just realized its past curfew. If anyone catches us up here….” She runs her hand along her throat in a cutting motion, my shock at this realization makes her giggle, “It's a good thing I’m a master spy.” She winks before tip-toe running to the door leading back into the school.

I follow her, working as I usually do. She slowly opens up the door. As the door creaks, we both flinch. It’s Saturday, so the cleaning staff went home a long time ago, she assures me, as we make our way through the school, and out the front door. We walk back silently to the dorms, neither of us caring much to break the silence, as the presence of it is comfortable rather than oppressing, like most lulls in conversations are. When we reach the split between the dorms, we turn to say our goodbyes. “Well, unless you plan to continue your creepy hobby.” She smirks and I feel my face get warm. There’s no way I’m going to live that down. Her normal smile returns, “I’ll see you tomorrow right? I still owe you a tour of the town.”

I smile, “A pretty tour girl taking me around the town,” I wink, “wouldn't miss it.” She jabs me in the side before walking off with a wave. I wave back before walking off to my own dorm room.
Last edited by HITK220 on Sat Dec 20, 2014 10:44 pm, edited 3 times in total.

HoneyBakedHam
Posts: 339
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Toledo, Ohio, USA

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:48 pm

Hi there, I'm a longtime ghost reader, but decided to register for the forums now just to say that I love where this is going.

Looking forward to more. :)

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 8:32 pm

:) Thank you for the encouragement I have to say that means a lot and there is plenty more done I will be releasing them in chunks like this so I can get feed back from anyone who wants to give it.

HoneyBakedHam
Posts: 339
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Toledo, Ohio, USA

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Thu Dec 18, 2014 9:09 pm

Just curious as of what his disability is exactly :P

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 9:31 pm

Just curious as of what his disability is exactly :P
You will see in due time my friend haha

HoneyBakedHam
Posts: 339
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Toledo, Ohio, USA

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:51 pm

Is this a Christmas surprise? Ohhh, I hate those.

Better not be coal...

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:08 pm

Better not be coal...
Well I would like to think that my idea won't be classified as coal, but the final deciding factor is what you and all the other readers think :)

HoneyBakedHam
Posts: 339
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Toledo, Ohio, USA

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:11 pm

Oh, I was bein literal with the coal part. I guess my joke was a foul ball. :(

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:19 pm

I know you were being literal with it haha.

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:28 pm

Well, there are not any serious grammar problems despite your advance apology - except for this one:
She glances towards the clock, and back to Kari and I.
Should be "Kari and me"
Is the name "Susanoa" supposed to be a joke or is it supposed to sound Japanese? If it's the latter you might want to consider changing it.

The story itself is starting quite nicely, though your romance is progressing at near relativistic speeds. If it continues like this, they'll be a couple by Monday and married by next weekend ;-)

Oh, and finally I suggest being careful about your narcoleptic character. By now I'm always suspicious when someone uses one since the depictions are almost always the hollywood kind where people fall asleep standing up etc. "Real" narcolepsy doesn't really work that way.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3529
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by brythain » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:47 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Is the name "Susanoa" supposed to be a joke or is it supposed to sound Japanese? If it's the latter you might want to consider changing it.
Heh, I read it as 'Susanao' at first. Hmm.
Last edited by brythain on Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:53 pm

I'm always suspicious when someone uses one since the depictions are almost always the hollywood kind where people fall asleep standing up etc. "Real" narcolepsy doesn't really work that way.
I'm pretty sure I handle this well but please be sure to let me know if anything is 'wrong' with how i am portraying the character.

and to your comment on the speed of the relationship, there is a point to the speed and it will be clear later on down the road, till then you will just have to wait and see ;)

also i have a lot written and was wondering what would be the best frequency to release parts if anyone has an idea that would be great, as of now im thinking once a week or maybe every other week. feed back would be awesome.

HoneyBakedHam
Posts: 339
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Toledo, Ohio, USA

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HoneyBakedHam » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:57 pm

If you can do it and feel like it's needed, once a week. Otherwise, go at a pace that you feel is needed. MIAs are common.

HITK220
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:43 pm

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by HITK220 » Fri Dec 19, 2014 10:03 pm

Is the name "Susanoa" supposed to be a joke or is it supposed to sound Japanese?
Honestly I came up with it on the fly, I can definitely change it, if it is to weird haha. It was just the first thing to come to my mind. (I'll take suggestions for name if anyone wants to PM me)

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Katawa shoujo Generations

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Dec 19, 2014 10:10 pm

HITK220 wrote:
Is the name "Susanoa" supposed to be a joke or is it supposed to sound Japanese?
Honestly I came up with it on the fly, I can definitely change it, if it is to weird haha. It was just the first thing to come to my mind. (I'll take suggestions for name if anyone wants to PM me)
Take your pick.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Post Reply