Had a city trip myself to take, no opportunities to write down the story in mind. Long-update to make up for it.
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I've never been a big fan of bus rides.
You sit down, hope that the seats are somewhat comfortable and just wait. Sometimes, you've got people there with you to make a little bit of small-talk, like right now with Lilly and Hanako. But it usually runs out fast, turns into longer awkward silences between increasingly meaningless conversation. Especially when conversation really is just something of a nicety to begin with, it doesn't get very far. Lilly tries her best to pull Hanako into a few conversations with us, sitting with her across the walkway from me. Unfortunately, it seems like the shyness that's usually inherent in her is even worse as soon as Hanako gets pulled out into public, and even her usual sparse answers become one-word answers. The whole situation feels... stifled and uncomfortable for the whole duration of the bus-ride, with even Lilly looking distinctly uncomfortable as her attempts to make Hanako a little more at-ease continually fail.
I can't help but be happy when the bus-ride is over.
Hanako clings right to Lilly as we get off, and shows absolutely no inclination of moving away from her, half-hugged right up against her as she stares intently at the ground. Lilly's expression, while still somewhat concerned at the fact of Hanako's shyness and anxiety is looking somewhat better as well, as though this situation is a little more normal to her. It's hard to wonder just how Hanako might have survived at all without someone to cling to like Lilly, someone willing to accommodate her.
Shaking off a few ugly thoughts, I smile just a little uneasily towards the girls, neither of whom can see me; Hanako so intently focused on the ground while Lilly seems to be waiting for some cue. I take it as an opportunity to hopefully turn things around at least a little bit. "So... Do either of you know of any book-stores that might be open on a Sunday?"
Lilly smiles, apparently thinking to herself for a moment; I've got a feeling that not too many book-stores cater to blind readers here in the city, and if they do they might not have much that'd be of much use to me. Hanako actually looks up with what I might define as a somewhat hopeful gaze for a fraction of a second, before once again hiding her face behind her hat and finding something intensely interesting with the ground. Not exactly much of an improvement on the situation, but maybe a step in the right direction to keep the whole situation from getting even more tense.
"I believe that I know of some that might be open, although you two may have to simply see if they are." Lilly finally says after a few seconds thought, nodding. It takes me somewhat by surprise to hear the fairly candid reference to her blindness, although it makes perfect sense in its relevance to the situation. Hanako doesn't seem to at all register it as I agree to go, meekly walking alongside Lilly as we begin to head off in the vague direction that Lilly believes the bookstores are in.
Despite the relief of being off the bus, as well as having an actual destination in mind, I can't help but feel much of the same... discomfort as I had on the bus.
Despite all the similarity of the city to back home, the fact that Hanako and Lilly were willing to help me get a layout of it, despite the new leaf that I'd assured myself I was turning over; I don't feel great about it all right now.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm not at Yamaku right now, strange though it seems. The campus was an entire world away from anything that I'd experience before, especially those few quiet and almost hidden-away places that I've begun to find with Hanako and Lilly's help. On top of it, Hanako's... withdrawal from the world, and Lilly's own discomfort stemming from it only adds to this whole sensation of 'out-of-placeness' that I feel right now. It's like when I'd just begun to get a bearing of where I was, I'd thrown myself right out somewhere completely different. Only I'd also managed to drag at least one completely unwilling person along with me... for what isn't the first time, and probably won't be the last time, I feel really terrible knowing that it'd been my suggestion to Hanako to come along today.
Even with Lilly and me attempting to bring her into conversation here and there, I doubt I've heard more than a dozen words from Hanako since we've gotten on the bus. I can't help but finally break as we're walking and try to address her directly, despite feeling as though Lilly and I have more or less danced around the topic before rather than face it head on.
"So, Hanako, anything you wanted to do so long as we're in the city?"
You would've thought I was asking if she wanted to run through the city streets naked by the look of confusion and fear that seems to come from being asked a direct question; head popping up for just a fraction of a second before a blush seemed to cover her face and she shook her head quickly to dismiss the notion and return to staring at the ground. Even if it's barely a step up from staring at the ground in the first place, I feel like I should make-do with getting a reaction out of her at all here, and turn the question to Lilly.
"What about you, Lilly?"
Lilly gives her usual polite smile. "There are a few stops I would like to make, if you're willing to go through a little more of the city. Nothing urgent." She says simply, keeping it a relatively open statement so that if any of us were to object it wouldn't be too big a deal. I can't help but wonder if her attitude of accommodation is because of, or existed prior to her friendship with Hanako. Right now, all I give is a slight nod, before remembering the uselessness of it.
"Sounds good. We've got all day, after all." Lilly makes a noise of agreement, and I feel a little bit of the imagined tension of the situation seem to dissipate. I've just got to maintain the attitude I've been cultivating at Yamaku in order to try and enjoy myself a bit more. Lilly's usual politeness and agreeableness, combined with Hanako's somewhat amusing shyness help to reinforce it.
We find the first of the potential book-stores that Lilly knew about in short order. Or at least, one of the book-stores that Lilly had known about. What we're standing in front of after is a pet supply store, obviously having taken over the book-store. A little bit dissuaded by the ever-changing cityscape, Lilly collects herself and heads towards another of the shops that she remembers. It's the one somewhat damning thing about the selections that cities seem to have. That they sometimes change so much so quickly, with a single building housing stores for just a few months, or even weeks before housing something completely different. Quickly, we begin to lose an actual destination and merely begin to look out for a book-store wherever we might be able to find it.
Surprising both me and Lilly, Hanako is the one to spot the only book-store that seems to be open on a Sunday in the whole city. Tucked away in something of a crack between a pair of much larger and more well-advertised stores. It's a tiny shop, seeming to just barely have the space for a window, sign, and door on the face of it. Peering into shelves and shelves of books, packed somewhat tightly together, the lights on and some movement within.
If I'm not mistaken, I actually see Hanako looking somewhat longingly at it when we cross the street for a closer inspection. Opening the door to the soft chiming of bells, I hold it open for the two girls.
"Ladies first."
Lilly gives an appreciative smile, sliding her cane to be more compact and carefully stepping through the threshold, a hand lightly against the wall even as Hanako hurries through behind her to re-link with her to provide just a little more help on navigating. Following them, I watch as Hanako reluctantly has to part with Lilly in order to squeeze through the narrowly-spaced bookshelves.
The whole store seems to be what Yamaku's library might have become if it'd been forced into a single classroom rather than given quite enough space. The same smell of paper, of old book bindings seems to permeate the whole place. The bookshelves are all made out of just slightly different colors and grains of wood, changing from deep browns to light tans in an oddly aesthetic manner. Most of the books here look quite well-worn, but not abused as I somewhat blindly go in the same direction that Hanako and Lilly disappeared in. Old leather-bound books that've faded from black to brown, hard-covers with faded edges. Looking around, I don't think that I can find a single soft-cover book on any of the nearby shelves. Realizing that I've more or less lost Lilly and Hanako as I've been getting a first impression of the place, I continue in the same direction, occasionally taking a peek at a book that seems interesting.
It's mostly older western literature. Stuff that I've never heard of before, the books that didn't get immediately chronicled for everyone everywhere to need to read. Not usually my preferred reading-material, but still sort of interesting to see an entire store open on a Sunday selling it.
Getting to the end of the bookcases, I suddenly notice Lilly, Hanako hiding behind her apparently speaking to the store's owner. An elderly-looking woman who has been bent somewhat by time, standing behind the counter with a kindly smile on her face. Lilly perks up somewhat as I take another few steps towards them. "Have you found anything of interest, Hisao?" She asks, looking approximately in my direction, causing Hanako and the store-owner to look over as well.
"Not quite yet, although the store itself is certainly interesting. I don't believe that I've seen most of these books before, even at our library." I give a slight bow to the store owner, out of courtesy. The store owner doesn't quite seem to be looking at me, although she inclines her head in return and smiles.
"Thank you, dear. I wish that I could organize it a little bit better, but my eyes aren't what they used to be." She says amiably, trying to wave off the slight perceived messiness of the store. It also explains why she hadn't been looking at me before Lilly had more or less pointed out my presence to her. The store owner gives me a smile, and turns back to Lilly to resume whatever discussion they were having... something about one of the particular books that Lilly had been having trouble finding. Hanako looks... a little more at-ease in the store, away from most people, especially with the two conversing in front of her not exactly admitting to the best vision. I can't help but wonder if Hanako would be so shy without scars.
"Hey, Hanako. Do you want to look around a bit? I know you're a bit of a reader too." I find myself saying softly, trying to see if I can't get Hanako to relax just a little bit more as she just stands around boredly. This time, instead of meeting my gaze for just a second, Hanako turns, bringing up a hand over the burned half of her face, regarding me for a moment before nodding slightly.
"S-sure." She says, actually seeming to be just a little bit at ease here in an almost familiar environment.
I'm not really sure about how long we spend just going through the shelves of books, all unfamiliar titles, most of them more than a little dated. But it goes by... nicely, as Hanako and I explore the store in quite a bit of depth. Thumbing through the first few pages of a novel here, a collection there, admiring the occasionally absolutely beautifully bound book. Going through a pair of rows, finding ourselves back at the counter I'm almost un-surprised to find that somehow Lilly and the shop-owner are sitting down to tea and still chatting away. While I have to admit that a lot of the material of the store isn't exactly what I would have hoped, the whole atmosphere of it is certainly one that I can't complain with. Starting on another row, Hanako's already pushing a book towards me to show me the impressive leather-work on the cover, wearing a nearly imperceptible smile.
It's somewhat surprising to both of us that it's Lilly who tells us that she's more or less finished, locating us in a dark corner admiring what looks like a complete collection of a work we've never heard of. Some twelve thick tomes long with inlaid gilded-lettering on the binding of each of the books' leather spines. All in English, that just-somewhat comprehensible language made all the harder by the older-style words most of the old books seem to use.
"My my, I didn't realize you two were quite so interested in classic western literature. I'll have to teach you both braille so you might borrow some of my books." Lilly teases, causing Hanako to very nearly drop the third volume of the collection we were examining directly onto my foot. Luckily, between the two of us we manage to keep it from falling to the floor.
"As long as they're not in English, I think I just might." I say sincerely, managing to draw a slightly sour expression from Lilly, confirming my fear that they might actually be in English. I can't help but chuckle at that, deciding to tack on the reasoning. "Because my English really isn't good enough... reading half from a translation-book and half from the story really might ruin the story for me." Lilly's expression is still somewhat pouting but she seems to concede to my point.
"Well, at any rate, are you two ready to go out and visit a little more of the city?" Lilly asks, getting an actual slight nod from Hanako and a grin from myself.
"Sounds good, Lilly." I say simply, speaking for both of us as we turn to the doorway. Heading out with the tinkling bells announcing our departure, I hear the shop's owner calling out a goodbye cheerily. "Good eyes spotting that shop, Hanako. It was definitely interesting." I say as we head outside, getting a blush from Hanako as she turns her head back to the ground with what I think is a faint smile. Lilly also makes a noise of agreement.
"I'm certain that I'll be headed back there eventually. It very well might be that I could find a few less-common books in braille through there." She says, a tone of contentment in her voice as she once again slides her cane out and begins to walk forwards, sounding like she'd won some small lottery. In a sense, she actually very well might have. While a few of the bigger book-stores might have the potential to order just a few books in braille, they might very likely all go through the same suppliers. There though, based on at least some of the books that me and Hanako had found while more or less exploring, Lilly might be able to find some books that practically nobody had heard of.
Hanako, even looking down at the ground right now and back to clinging Lilly's arm, looks fairly happy to have found the store and been of some help on the trip.
"So... you said there were a few other places that you were thinking about going?" I ask, addressing Lilly.
"Well... we spent quite a bit of time in that particular shop. But there is one particular shopping area in particular that I thought might be good to go to for something to eat, as well as to maybe simply find something else interesting." Lilly admits, suddenly reminding me that it'd been quite a while since I'd had my light breakfast back in school. I'm fairly happy that my stomach doesn't start gurgling on cue, as if to make a point, but feel like it might be a possibility soon.
"Sounds good. You've got an idea how to get there from here?" I ask, wondering if we'll have to go through a similar procedure to earlier where Hanako and I had to describe a few landmarks to get Lilly properly oriented. Lilly nods this time though, having probably already remembered where we were in relation to a few other things.
Setting off at a decent pace, it's almost evident that the area Lilly's talking about is at a diagonal to the city-blocks, as we cross streets only to cross the perpendicular street as well. After just a few minutes, I notice both Lilly and Hanako sometimes casting a somewhat concerned gaze over at me, and when we stop to wait for traffic, Lilly finally seems to confront the issue.
"Hisao, are you all right?" I raise an eyebrow for a moment, before realizing that I'm breathing heavily and taking a second before I can even answer the two of them.
Damn, I'm out of shape.
"Out of shape." I say simply taking another few deep breaths as I shake my head, realizing that there's a growing itch in my lungs to wheeze like an old man. "Haven't exactly gotten a lot of exercise lately." I admit, feeling bad for the second time today that I wasn't exactly following the medical advice I'd been given, but feeling more justified than ever in the idea that running very well might've killed me. "Not a huge deal, don't worry too much. Just slow down a tiny bit?" I say and ask, getting a moderately concerned nod from both of the girls.
"We're almost there." Lilly says, both hands on her cane with her expression not quite going back to the usual polite smile as she seems to regard me. Hanako's gaze is even more... disconcerting, as she actually bothers to look at me with her usual deeply analytic expression for a few moments before breaking the contact to lead Lilly across the street.
The area that Lilly leads us to, admittedly quite close to where the girls noticed my complete lack of physical fitness, seems quite suited to her. A nice little cafe stands with mostly outdoor seating right off one of the larger streets of the plaza, the chairs looking more than a little inviting as I realize how many hours we must have actually spent looking around for a bookstore and then through the one that we'd found. It's a nice day out too, the sun brightly shining while the wind seems to be coming occasionally at best.
Sitting down is a great feeling after being on your feet for so long, especially when a waitress bounces right up to take orders. All three of us settle on rather light lunches, with Lilly and Hanako choosing their customary tea while I go for coffee.
"So, is the city living up to your expectations of something interesting to do on the weekends?" Lilly asks, smiling across at me and Hanako.
"I think so. Thank you both for the company." I say, sitting back and enjoying the feeling of sitting down after being on my feet for a few hours.
Surprisingly, while Lilly just nods with a smile, I can hear Hanako speaking, "N-no problem." before looking away with a somewhat embarrassed expression. Luckily, at least probably for Hanako, our food arrives very shortly after and gives an excuse for a period of silence where we all dig in eagerly. After finishing, sitting back contently, I check my watch for what has to be the first time today and am somewhat surprised by the time. It's almost two in the afternoon already... we'd probably spent an hour or so just looking for a bookstore, then a few hours inside of it before spending another hour or so getting up here for a late lunch. I can't help but voice it out loud as an expression of wonderment, at which Lilly suddenly looks like she's thinking somewhat hard.
"You know... we could make the three o' clock back to Yamaku if you're not feeling like spending a few more hours here, Hisao." She says thoughtfully, finishing off the last bit of her tea as she waits for my response. As I lazily sit there, I can definitely notice Hanako out of the corner of my eye fidgeting slightly at that. She'd been slowly shutting down just a little bit more in public since we'd left the book-shop that she'd been so much more comfortable in. As much as I might actually have liked to go on for a little bit longer, I still do feel a little bit guilty about potentially depriving both Lilly and Hanako of all of their Sundays' too.
"That sounds good... I'll admit that it took a little more out of me than I was expecting."
"Y-you're alright t-though?" Hanako interjects, looking over at me for a fraction of a second before as usual looking away, unable to maintain eye contact. I can't help but smile at what I feel like is almost unnecessary concern. I was a little winded earlier, not in the middle of a heart-attack. Hell, if I'd really wanted to I probably could've jogged for just a little bit today without too much of an issue.
"I'm fine. But, I did promise you a chess rematch when we got back anyways, didn't I?" I say, half-jokingly as Hanako looks back over to me. I'd be willing to swear that she's actually got a somewhat more noticeable smile than usual on as she nods.
It's a nice smile, and I really can't help but sort of wish that she'd smile a little bit more.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
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