Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (Update 7/30/17)

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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by acquireTigris » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:12 am

General consensus dictates that I remove the kiss. And done.
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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by Minion of Chaos » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:30 am

acquireTigris wrote:General consensus dictates that I remove the kiss. And done.
Yeah, and reader choices are usually frowned upon here, if I'm not mistaken (and I've been known to be wrong before). I think it's usually up to the admins or if there are an unreasonable number of instances with choices that affect the story individually.

I am interested and enjoying the series however, it's some chill stuff

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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by Guest Poster » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:57 am

It was one of the weaker points of one of my own favorite old-school games, Season of the Sakura.
You liked that one too, huh? The dance scene between Lilly and Hanako in my own fic was actually inspired by a scene from that game.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.

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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:12 am

acquireTigris wrote:As for Miki not doing the test... I dunno. I personally know someone who's as brash and cocky as Miki: my sister. She will test you, and she will drop you in a second if you fail her. The drinking thing was a bit farfetched, but then again, this is a work of fiction.
Writing fiction does not exempt you from writing believable characters. In fact, if you write Michael Jackson's biography you can always provide sources if your readers don't believe you.
And again, the only result Miki got from this test was that drinking lowers inhibitions.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Last time I checked, Yamaku students had free reign over their uniforms. Miki wears the boys' shirt instead of a blouse. Some students wear hats in school. I'm sure no one'll bat an eye for wearing shades. :P
They have some leeway regarding the uniforms. Rin may wear a male uniform, because she often has to use her feet etc.
Wearing shades in class is like advertising to everyone else including the teachers that you engaged in what is essentially illegal activities the night before.
Yeah, and reader choices are usually frowned upon here, if I'm not mistaken (and I've been known to be wrong before). I think it's usually up to the admins or if there are an unreasonable number of instances with choices that affect the story individually.
Whatever his personal opinion, SC never clamped down on any story featuring choice points.
What IS frowned upon is letting the readers vote on which choice to continue the story with, and any such story will be shut down very quickly.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by dewelar » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:13 am

Guest Poster wrote:
It was one of the weaker points of one of my own favorite old-school games, Season of the Sakura.
You liked that one too, huh? The dance scene between Lilly and Hanako in my own fic was actually inspired by a scene from that game.
I think I've seen you mention that somewhere before, and it makes sense.

Yes, Season of the Sakura was pretty much the one that got me interested in the genre. I stumbled across it by chance over at The Asenheim Project late one night, and played through it once all the way through without stopping (got Mio's ending first, if you're interested). I don't think I slept at all that night :) .
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

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Re: Unmasked

Post by griffon8 » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:28 pm

Okay, glad I skipped ahead to find out other readers’ reactions to the choice point; no need to go into that.

That’s a really shitty move on Miki’s part to make a test like that. Her brother gave her lousy advice.
acquireTigris wrote:The air conditioning hit me, its contrast to the warm spring air of the early night outside welcome on my face, but it doesn't help ease my nervousness.
Hisao spent all of spring in the hospital and came to Yamaku in June. So unless you skipped ahead nine months or so…
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: Unmasked

Post by acquireTigris » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:15 pm

griffon8 wrote:Okay, glad I skipped ahead to find out other readers’ reactions to the choice point; no need to go into that.

That’s a really shitty move on Miki’s part to make a test like that. Her brother gave her lousy advice.
acquireTigris wrote:The air conditioning hit me, its contrast to the warm spring air of the early night outside welcome on my face, but it doesn't help ease my nervousness.
Hisao spent all of spring in the hospital and came to Yamaku in June. So unless you skipped ahead nine months or so…
Miki's brothers are quite the characters. Especially the one that gave her the advice. We'll elaborate on them soon.

As for the date when Hisao attended school, I honestly thought it was late spring. June is still late spring in Japan so... I guess it all works out?
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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by TyronePotato » Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:07 pm

Very nice story. I'm liking it a lot. I very much so hope you succeed.
ooooh feels.

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Re: Unmasked

Post by steptaker » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:13 pm

acquireTigris wrote: "Kiss me, Hisao," she mewls.

Still can't get over this lol. Out of all of the fan fics I've read, just the thought of the wording "mewls" is just so sexy and cute, especially from Miki.

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Re: Unmasked

Post by brythain » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:03 pm

acquireTigris wrote:As for the date when Hisao attended school, I honestly thought it was late spring. June is still late spring in Japan so... I guess it all works out?
The summer months are June to August in Japan…
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Re: Unmasked

Post by Corundum » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:08 pm

brythain wrote:
acquireTigris wrote:As for the date when Hisao attended school, I honestly thought it was late spring. June is still late spring in Japan so... I guess it all works out?
The summer months are June to August in Japan…
Well spring doesn't start tell 2/3 of the way through June actually, since I'm pretty sure Japan does the same thing we do with the solstices and equinoxes and stuff

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Re: Unmasked

Post by brythain » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:19 pm

Corundum wrote:
brythain wrote:
acquireTigris wrote:As for the date when Hisao attended school, I honestly thought it was late spring. June is still late spring in Japan so... I guess it all works out?
The summer months are June to August in Japan…
Well spring doesn't start tell 2/3 of the way through June actually, since I'm pretty sure Japan does the same thing we do with the solstices and equinoxes and stuff
Who's 'we'? :D Technically, the last cherry blossom blooming is mid-May latest, and the hot wet weather begins in early June, around when Hisao came to Yamaku. Seasons in Japan behave differently from seasons in wherever you're from. Unless you're in Hokkaido, I suppose.

Edit: Traditionally, May 5 marks the beginning of summer. Confusion may arise because summer holiday season often kicks off on Sea Day/Marine Day after mid-July.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:36 am

I suggest simply changing it to a "warm breeze", and all will be well.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 9/11)

Post by acquireTigris » Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:52 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:I suggest simply changing it to a "warm breeze", and all will be well.
This is actually the best course of action.
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Costumes

Post by acquireTigris » Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:10 pm

Costumes

It's Saturday morning. I wake up early as per usual, down my usual prescription pills, get dressed in my otherwise-useless PE uniform, and make my way to the track. Every day is a routine, now. Jog, school, lunch, more school, free time, bed. Except for Saturdays. Afternoons without classes equates to more free time, and I am hoping to spend it with Miki and Suzu today.

The only days I've skipped my morning runs so far were last Sunday and Monday; thanks to Miki, I doubt that I'd go drinking ever again. But the point remains. Not only am I getting used to the runs, I'm starting to look forward to them. And it's not just because the girl I like happens to run with me.

I make my way to the field and find Miki already there. She's sitting on the bleachers as she waits for me to arrive, waving at me as soon as she spots me. "Yo, morning."

"Hey." I wave back to her, though not as enthusiastically. I'm actually still a bit sleepy.

She stands up and raises her arms above her head to initiate our warm-up, but I hold a palm up to her. "Before we start, I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" she exclaims, lowering her arms. "Whaddaya have in mind?"

"Well," I start, twiddling with my thumbs as I arrange my thoughts. "I've been mulling over what you said that night. You know... about you being undecided about what you think about me."

Miki tilts her head. "You pick now of all the possible times you could ask me? Couldn't you ask me some other time?"

I'm a bit ashamed from asking her, but I keep my stance. "I really don't think it's fair that you leave me without answers. I mean, you obviously have a reason why you're not making a decision yet. About how you think about me. We're alone right now. I've gotta ask somewhere, sometime. What better place than here? And what better time than now?"

"Y'got a point," she shrugs. Despite the air of nonchalance she's trying to give off, I am still intimidated by her. She always seemed like a person you wouldn't like to cross from day one. And there were those times that she could get a little too physical...

"Alright, Hisao, I'll give you what you want. You really wanna know why I don't wanna make a choice just yet?" She paces along the fringes of the track.

"It's 'cause I..." she sighs. "I really don't want to waste what's going on between us two, y'know? I don't want to waste a completely good friendship between the both of us if you wanna chase a romantic relationship. I'm not sure this is what the both of us need right now. But I'm not exactly rejecting your offer, either. Know what I'm sayin'?"

I mull over her explanation. I guess what she's telling me is reasonable. Even I don't want to ruin a good friendship like ours. Despite all that, I want to tell her that I am willing to risk it. But the words don't come. I simply nod and accept her answer.

"There's one other thing I wanted to ask you about," I request. "About what happened that night in Suzu's room."

"You mean the drinking?" she asks. Her eyes shift to the trees covering a shed.

"No, the other thing." I know she knew that I was talking about her little panic attack in the middle of the night, and that I knew that she was trying to avoid the question, but I don't want to make it an issue.

She sighs and places her good hand behind her. It takes me a while to realize that her other arm was behind her for quiet some time already. I think she's getting distressed by our talk, but I dare to press on.

She frowns. I don't think I've ever seen her so troubled before. "I... don't think I'm comfortable with talking to you about that. Not yet. I'm still getting the grips on how to deal with it..."

I immediately regret asking that question. I wanted answers, but I didn't want to compromise Miki. "I'm sorry," I mutter. "If I knew that I'd make you feel like that, I never would've asked."

"Nah, forget about it." She waves me off. "I guess it's fair that you asked for answers. No one likes being left in the dark. And besides, it looks like we're even now. You know about my... problem, and I know about your really weird heartbeat." Things get a little quiet, and a moment later she quickly turns her face away from me. I think her cheeks are a darker shade of bronze than they normally are.

"We better finish today's run quick. We don't wanna be late." She quickly begins the stretching routine, and I clumsily follow her lead.

"And by the way, you're running one extra lap today," she goes on, arms stretched upward. "You've been making good progress with how you pace your jogging so I decided to let you run a little bit further from today on."

I drop my arms and almost choke on my spit. "What!?"

"You're making it sound like more running's a bad thing," Miki says.



"Alright, class~!" The English teacher claps her hands together cheerfully. "Today we're going to have a group activity. I'm going to need you to come together in groups of three. Mister Nakai~!" She calls my name especially sharply and melodiously. "I'm sure you and miss Miura will rake in great tips from your friend miss Suzuki, and I'm sure you three would make a great group together."

All the students shift around to get seats closer to their groupmates, and I get off of mine to sit between Miki and Suzu. "At least I'm stuck with you two," Miki says cheerfully, wrapping me and Suzu in one of her head-lock embraces.

"Since most of the class never got to pass their book reports on Silas Marner chapter by chapter, I've decided that you will all do group reviews." A few murmurs of dissent ring through the classroom, but the teacher quickly coughs the complaints into submission. "Now, as I was saying~, we will all start back in chapter one," more moans, "and all of you should pass the full report before summer. For such a short book that shouldn't be a problem~, considering that summer break is still a few weeks away." Behind me, I can see Shizune's eyes gleam like the challenge itself was incentive enough to finish the book report. I think she and Misha are enough to finish the entire report. In fact, I think Shizune alone is enough to finish a report.

"Don't worry, you two, I got this," Suzu reassures me and Miki, grinning. "I've already finished the whole book three days ago."

"And before you pass the report, I will interview all three of you individually pertaining certain plot points~."

The class explodes.

"Settle down, children~!" The teacher's standing up, stretching her hands to quell the wave of outrage she caused. "Complaining won't do you any good; you're going to pass the reports anyway. I'll leave you alone for discussion now. Please don't make too much noise, m'kay~?" And with that, she hides herself behind a book.

Miki grumbles. "I think this is a boatload of crap."

"It's not that bad," I say. "We've got Suzu to help us. Right Suzu?"

"Right!" she says enthusiastically and nods. "I may not look like it, but I'm a good storyteller. I just have to tell you guys the summary."

"She's a good storyteller, alright. One that falls asleep every two seconds." Miki whispers, cupping her hand towards me in reverse. Suzu slaps her knee. Apparently, she heard her.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Miki pats the mane of blue hair, ruffling it a bit. Suzu huffs loudly and puffs up her cheeks. I can't help but laugh at these two.

"Anyway, from what I've understood so far, Silas is this old geezer who lives outside this town, and he makes blankets or something?" I shrug.

Suzu scratches her chin and nods. "Yeah, pretty much. But he's a weaver by trade, not just a guy who makes blankets. The town's name is Raveloe, and people think he's a witch doctor so they don't go near him much. He wasn't even from the town to begin with. He came from some other town because the religious people there thought he was a thief and excommunicated him."

Suzu's enthusiasm for telling the story brings a smile to my face. It makes taking the story in a whole lot more bearable.

"The dorks are getting along," Miki whines. "Kill me now..." She plants her face on her desk and covers her head with her arms.

"Hey, be nice." I poke her on the ribs, and it brought out a violent but suppressed squeal from her. I think she'd be glaring at me now if she didn't keep her face on her desk.

The rest of class hours is spent with me listening to Suzu as she explained the plot, while Miki took a nap. It's a miracle how she's only slept thrice during the whole hour.



Lunch break comes and Miki leaves me and Suzu at the cafeteria to get ready for a meeting with the track team.

"Why during lunch break?" I ask. "Wouldn't it make sense if you had a meeting in the afternoon?"

"Eh," Miki shrugs. "I couldn't care less. It's going to be a quick one, though, so I'll be back soon enough." She waves to me and Suzu as she takes off.

I'm sipping on udon broth while Suzu's munching on some sweet bean bread.

"Sho, you shtill think Shilash Marner shucksh?" Suzu talks with a piece of bread still stuck in her cheeks.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" I ask, fishing for some noodles.

"Shush, you," she replies and swallows. "I don't think I'm supposed to take advice from mister wet-noodle smile."

"What are you...?" I instinctively lick the corner of my lips, and, sure enough, I get a noodle tip stuck on my tongue. I suck it back in and Suzu giggles. I roll my eyes at her, but I smile back eventually.

"To be honest, I kinda like the whole premise of 'things got better for the new guy in town.' I thought it was just another boring drama about an old geezer and his hidden stash of gold."

"Gee, I wonder why?" Suzu pokes her cheeks in mock thought. I look at her curiously. Where's she going at with that?

Before I could get an answer, Misha comes running at us, stopping for breath as soon as she gets to our table.

"Whoa, slow down there, Misha. What's the emergency?" I try to look for her expression, but her face is being covered by her curls. Suzu looks at her as well, concerned.

"Emi... 'n' Miki..." she wheezes. "Track..."

"Deep breaths, Misha," I tell her. "And stand up straight. You'll get more air in your lungs that way." She follows my instructions, and a dozen seconds later, she seems to be breathing fine. "Wow, that worked like a charm~!" Misha peeps. "Thanks Hicchan~."

"What were you saying about Emi and Miki?" I ask, still anxious about her news.

"The girls are arguing on the field," Misha said worriedly. "Since you were close with the both of them at some point, I thought you could probably talk some sense into those two~."

"What? And you didn't think about going to Shizune to get those two set straight?" I grimace at all this responsibility being poured onto my lap.

Misha looks taken aback. "I didn't want things to blow up in everyone's faces~," she reasons. "If I tell Shicchan, things might get a bit out of hand. You know how she gets when someone goes out of line..."

"Suzu, we better go get Miki before she does any-." I turn to Suzu, but it looks like she's using her bread as a pillow. I sigh.

"Hey, Misha, could you keep an eye on Suzu for me? If she wakes up, tell her I'm trying to sort things between Emi and Miki."

"Sure," she says, still slightly out of breath. "I'll be here when you get back, mkay~?"

"Thanks, Misha," I say, getting up and walking briskly to the field.

My thoughts go back to Misha. She was out of breath when she reached me in the cafeteria. Maybe I've finally surpassed the cardiac strength of a possibly normal girl? After only two weeks of jogging, I honestly doubt it. But it feels good to pretend.

I feel like I could sprint to the track, but I think Miki would kill me if I tried. But I keep my fast pace nonetheless. If Misha thought that I should see those two instead of Shizune, it's probably urgent.

I'm near the field and I think the entire track team is hidden from view by the bleachers, but even then I could already hear Emi's voice ringing in the air.

"-ee, this is the kind of attitude that gets us losses in competitions."

"You're kidding, right?" Miki's voice grows louder as I get closer. "You're not team captain, but you're driving us like cattle up the damned wall!"

"That's only because I know what's best for the team. You're just a second rate sprinter who can't even make me bite your dust."

I can finally see the scene. Around a dozen people are standing around the two of them, maybe getting ready to pull them apart if they need to, maybe to stay out of their way. A tall guy, presumably the captain, is standing right between the both of them, but he isn't doing much. He's probably smart enough to know that he's not supposed to meddle with these two.

And I'm too stupid for my own good.

"What's going on?" I ask loudly, and I catch both girls' attentions.

"Hisao?" Emi peers at me curiously.

"What're you doing here?" Miki asks as well. All eyes are on me now.

"Someone told me there was trouble, and I came to help," I say. I hope I sounded confident. Just the thought of doubting makes me think I didn't.

"We don't need you here, Hisao. I can handle this by myself." Emi scoffs.

"And who said I was here to defend you?" She is aghast. "I don't know exactly what's bothering you two, but I'm siding with Miki here. You're a slave-driver of sorts, and I can't exactly agree with your methods."

"What?" She eyes me incredulously.

"You heard me. You forcibly drag people around, asking too much from them, and expect way more than necessary. They're not you, Emi. They can't do what you can do. I can't do what you can do. So please, stop breathing down people's necks." I am empathizing deeply with Miki and probably the other track members. It felt good to tell her off, but at the same time it hurts me to criticize her.

Emi is speechless. I think my words have left a heavy impact on her. Without a word, she stomps (actually bounces with her running legs) away from the field. As soon as she's gone from sight, a wave of loud sighs come from all directions and I'm caught by surprise. I didn't actually think the rest of the team was siding with Miki.

"Good going there, champ," Miki says behind me, clapping her hand on my back. "I didn't know you had it in ya. Glad you gave that little tyrant a run for her money, eh?" Murmurs of assent reign among the track members. The captain stays quiet, though. I think he's trying to keep neutral between these two. Either that or he's just biased for Emi and he doesn't want to show it.

I want to say thank you to her. Instead I say this.

"Why did you even bother stooping down to her level?"

Miki's eyes narrow. "Excuse me?"

"We both know Emi's a bit extreme when it comes to doing anything. When you argue with her, you're inevitably making a big deal out of something trivial. And I'm sure it was something trivial. A diet program, your uniform, I don't know. But it was. And things got blown out of proportion. And now, I had to tell off one of the people who actually talks to me in school, who accepts me."

Miki's face slowly contorts in anger. She angrily pokes at my shoulders, and I flinch. "You didn't have to be my white knight, you know."

"I wasn't trying to be one," I mumble, lowering my eyes. "I just did what I had to do." I can feel everyone's eyes on me again, and this time I feel the pressure build against me.

"Sorry," I mutter. "Suzu's waiting for you in the cafeteria. If you excuse me, I have to get ready for a field trip tomorrow."

I don't get any response from Miki as I hole up in the male dormitories.

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Last edited by acquireTigris on Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:51 am, edited 4 times in total.
Dancing: My Miki Pseudo-route

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