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Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 4:04 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Guest Poster wrote:If it's not official, it's not canon. If every fanfic writer tried to cling to any piece of semi-fanon, fanfics would become ridiculously predictable. Don't let semi-fanon dictate your story. A true writer doesn't aspire to change his story to fit fanon, but to change fanon to fit his story.
Yeah, you're right. Just at the back of my head there is the thoughts that all katawa shoujo fan fic characters are mingling or missing each other by a few seconds. Forgetmenot's Kagami is sitting a few rows from my Kirino. Helbereth's Aiko is barely missing running into Scissorlip's Suzu. I'll do my best not to let the mingling in my head appear in the story. I do however like Saki being a bitch, from her picture and her quote I could pin her as that type of person. :P.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:30 pm
by Mirage_GSM
YutoTheOrc wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:I was wondering who this Tetsuto-guy was that you mention in the chapter title, but after reading I think this was supposed to be a reference to the anime "Baka to tesuto"
... Yeah Baka to Tetsuto, was a fitting name for this chapter. I figured since it involved both an idioteither Kirino or Saki and a test(The retest).
Yes, but my point - and the source of my confusion - was that the anime is not called "baka to tetsuto" but "baka to tesuto" or simply "baka to test" in the english version.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:43 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Mirage_GSM wrote: Yes, but my point - and the source of my confusion - was that the anime is not called "baka to tetsuto" but "baka to tesuto" or simply "baka to test" in the english version.
There goes me again, my eyes moving too fast to see the little things :S, thanks I'll change it.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:46 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Act 1:Rising Son
Scene 4: Once Again After Crying

*Hey, this chapter isn't a very long one. However in exchange for length I put in...drum-roll please.. a choice! So.. technically there is two chapters! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Hope you all enjoy, and as always let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from you guys!

I stay in the stall for what feels like an eternity, my knees huddled against my chest, my body shaking with quiet sobs. My throat remains tense and sticky, as if it were fighting against my very body. My eyes burn with pain and feel as raw as if they were devoid of any moisture, my eyes feel as though they were a battered pebble beach devastated by the ever growing waves of pain. The insecurities I tried all too hard to merely swipe away under the carpet and forget about bubble to the surface, refusing to go unanswered. I thought it was easy enough to swipe away my fears, hide from the anxiety I felt deep within my heart, the pain I still feel at being left alone.

Like a violent picture show I keep repaying the classroom over and over in my mind, as if that was the only thing the projector could play. The flickering of the old film reel tittering within place as I’m forced to watch, helpless and afraid. The sickening bile tossing within my stomach is gone, but the putrid burns remain perforated throughout my soul. Clinging like a cicada to a tree, refusing to fly. I can't help, but feel hopelessly alone. Despite the memory of Saki and the classroom, I find myself more bothered by the things leaking from the darkest corners of my mind. Memories I desperately tried to forget, trying my best to hysterically bury them with a series of half-hearted reassurances and lies.

“No.” I quietly sob to myself, trying to bury my face into my eyes. Feeling the pressure of my eyes being squeezed by my bony knees grows ever more prevalent as I desperately try to shut out the horrors of my nightmares. Memories of sitting alone on a swing at school, my only company the soft autumn wind blowing through my hair and over my face. My young and destitute eyes watching as the other children play in the field or by the school, giggling and smiling amongst themselves. They seemed so carefree back then as if they were the happiest in the world. I wished, I dreamed, that someone would at least ask me to play, at least just once.

“Weirdo!” a young boy yells, his squeaky voice more harmful than even he could ever imagine. His words more deafening than any gun could ever be. The image of an even younger me stands there, a torn up dress and muddied body.

Times of when I used to creep up from my bed at night and sneak into the shadows that littered the small room that held our kitchen and main room. A small apartment capable of holding two people and no more. The image of Dad sitting at a table, his arms pressed back behind him as he looked at a small framed portrait of my mother. He always looked solemn, his face devoid of any expression, but his eyes telling all, the great pain he felt in his heart. The thick smell of smoke always wafted around the room at night, when he thought the small opened window would be enough to safeguard me from it.

He would just sit there, his eyes fixated on the picture as he remained lost in memory. I remember always being afraid that something was wrong, that he was suffering because of me. Even at a young age children feel responsible for almost everything, whether or not they are in fact responsible or not. Even though he never cried or expressed his sadness it was obvious how he felt.

I still feel that empty voidless pit within my body, forever wishing to be filled by something never quite known. Even when my father snapped to and saw me lurking in the corners, desperately trying to put out his cigarette and waft the smoke away from me he still seemed different, different from the man I came to know. I wondered whether it was me that made him sad if he would rather have had mum survive the difficult delivery rather than me. Even when my father spun me around in the air like an airplane I still felt empty, as if someone had forgotten to put the fuel into the plane itself and now it can never soar where it was meant to.

I sob quietly to myself and tear my face away from my knees and up towards the ceiling, my vision blurry with tears and stained with makeup. I stare for countless minutes more before forcing myself to my tattered reality and any further chaos that will follow me.I sniff for the last time, lowering my legs to the ground and sliding myself off the toilet seat. I take a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose and damp by raw eyes. I toss the used paper away into a small trash bucket and unlock the stall door. It gives an audible click before moving to allow my passage. Stepping out into the entire bathroom I drag my eyes across the mirror and visibly shudder and the miserable sight laid out before me.

I look like an entirely different person my eyes are red and puffy, my face is beyond the point of pale and sickly. I look a total mess, but I don't overly care right now as it reflects how I truly feel. Besides, at this point, I don’t even care who I run into. I'm sick of people, selfish, rude, and mean. I learned that on more than one occasion, through elementary, junior high, now even in senior high school. It seems no matter where I go bullies will follow. What was Saki's deal anyway? Big deal, you don't have to start a fight for no reason.

What was with Yuuto too! He didn't even do anything, even though he was the cause of the damn issue.

Fuck Yuuto! Fuck Saki!

Where was Nori? Sleeping? A racket that big would have woken a bear! I guess I don't have any friends. Story of my life. When my thoughts are finished I feel a pang of pain tug at my heart, but there are no more tears to let loose.

I let out a depressed sigh and step out into the hall and into the oncoming path of someone. I collide with them forcefully, my face bouncing off of something rather plush and buoyant.I fall back onto my rear with a soft thud and scuffle as one of my shoes falls off my foot with the impact .I give a small grunt as I impact the ground and stare at the person half angry half sad.

“Oh shit. I need to watch where I'm goin'” the girl laughs before reaching down and yanking me to my feet with one of her hands, or to be more specific her only hand.

The girl in question looks familiar, that long taupe coloured hair, her carefree taupe eyes, the bandaged left stump, and a completely lax personality. She's one of the girls from Class 3-3. What was her name again? Bah, it doesn't matter,I don't care either way. I just wanna head back to my room and mope in peace.

“Woah. You okay? Oh shit, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry. Damn, ughh.... knew I shouldn't have run in the halls.” the girl says, her voice becoming sympathetic and pitiful as she tries to calm down a situation she believes she started. She gives me a truly apologetic look before I try to clear up the situation.

“I-It wasn't you.” I frown, not wanting her to take the blame for something she didn't do, no matter how angry or sad I am.

Her voice changes from apologetic to one of sympathetic curiosity.

“Oh. Then why are you crying? If it wasn't me, then what?” her voice is relaxed and carefree, much like her clothes and style.

She is changed into the gym uniform, but even then they're altered. She's not even wearing the incredibly short-shorts that are given to us, instead, she is sporting a pair of her own black compression shorts. Her shirt is a size too big and is covered with mud and dirt, what the hell was she doing? Making mud pies?

“I don't want to intrude, I just mean. Shit. I'm never good with words. My friend says I have the social graces of a bad fart. You can tell me if you want to, it's up to you. I'll listen,that is..if you want me to. I don’t want to force you or anything. I mean you barely know me.”

Should I confide in this mystery girl? I don't know her, but on second thought It might make me feel better?

I let out a sigh, what better alternative do I have at this point? Mope around in my room all night crying? If someone is lending an ear it would be foolish to decline. Who knows, maybe it will make me feel better?

“S-Sure, I'll talk about it. Just...not here...please.” I say, my voice cracking as I feel the tears start to return.

“Sure thing.” The girl smiles, wrapping her arm around me like one would do to a friend, which is difficult. Considering she has to somewhat slouch to do so “by the way my name's Miki, Miki Miura, just call me Miki. Manners are boring, they're for old people!”

Her slight jab makes me giggle a little. She leads me out of the hallway near the bathroom and out to the back of the school. By now the grounds are vacant except for the two of us. She holds me close to her side, despite being how awkward it is to walk, we don't encounter any trouble. Besides, it's nice being hugged, even just a little, it makes me feel the slightest bit better. Like someone actually cares. But..who is this girl? All I know is that her name is Miki and she's in class 3-3. She doesn't even know my name, yet she wants to help? She wants to talk, and she is willing to lend an ear?

She leads me over to a bench and goes to retrieve two drinks while I sit down. She comes back with two cans of orange juice held in her hand she offers one to me and I graciously accept. I take it and mumble thanks, still struggling to hold in my tears. She sits down next to me and pops the lid on the can causing it to hiss before she begins to drink it, or rather before she gulps it down. Before I even pop the tab on mine she's done, letting out a loud and impressive belch that would rival even that of a sumo wrestler. She chuckles and tosses the can at the garbage bin causing it to bounce off the side and sending it skittering along the pavement like a stone. She gives a shrug, not seeming to care. Turning back to look at me she says:

“So.....whats up?”

Her voice is so, nonchalant, and relaxed, but even then there is an undertone of compassion. It's hard to describe, but she makes me feel more at ease, more comfortable like we're the only two people in the world.

“Where do I start?” I sigh, trying to wipe the remnants of eyeliner from my cheeks.

“Why not start with your name?” she replies smiling at me as I sip from my can gingerly.

“Kirino. Kirino Kage. Just call me Kirino, everyone does anyway.”

She gives a laugh, it's not refined like you would expect from a girl, but a very loud and snortish laugh. “Here I was calling ya tomato girl in my head!”

At the mention of my earlier encounter in her classroom, I begin to feel a blush appear on my cheeks and causes me to shift around embarrassed.

“See what I mean?”

Her point causes me to laugh a little and relax just a little bit more. I take another sip from my orange juice and take a deep breath preparing myself to tell Miki what happened, about Saki, about being left to the wolves, about crying.

When I speak she doesn't interrupt, she doesn't laugh, just sits looking at me and listening to what I have to say; soaking up my story like an auditory sponge. Sometimes she'll give her two bits of ‘know-how’ and make a snide comment usually at Saki’s expense. Other than that, she seems to genuinely care. When I'm done telling what happened, I’m surprised to find myself crying and sniffling back tears once again. She pulls me into a hug wedging my face into her well-endowed bosom like a mother would. She makes me feel embarrassed at the sudden show of affection, but it's nice. Similar to a pillow, and her warmth is comforting. She strokes my hair and waits for me to stop crying before talking.

“Everyone knows Saki is a bitch, I knew she was mean. I just didn't think she would ever get that worked up.” Miki says, her voice calm and relaxed, her fingers running themselves through my hair and over my head.

“Don't get yourself too worked up, it's not your fault. She's just got a stick so far up her ass that she's clogged up and that's the only way she gonna get it out.”

Miki laughs loudly which ushers in a short giggle from me. She has a point, I guess, I never thought of it that way.

“Don't let anyone get you down. People can only hurt you if you let them. As for your friend~...Nori was it?” she says not quite sure.

I go to nod, but given that my head is held firmly, I manage to usher a “Mhm”.

“He's got narcolepsy, can't blame him for that. Same as you can't blame me for not being able to play the guitar.”

The way she can joke about her missing hand puts me in awe. It proves she is a big enough person to laugh at her faults and come out the better. It's amazing. The longer this conversation drags on, I find myself looking more and more up to Miki. She was able to offer her ear to a complete stranger, even though she was already busy. She's awesome. I wonder if I can be as strong as she is one day? I find myself looking up at her with the one eye that can. She looks out across the grounds, a smile on her relaxed face. She's beautiful and strong, and...and...just awesome. I'm truly left in awe.

Ring Ring Ring, Ring Ring Ring

“Do you mind Kirino? I need to take this,” she asks me before moving away from me and crack her neck and rolling her eyes.

I give a nod and return to my sitting position, letting her get up. I wipe the tears off my face and give a sniff as she stands up and runs her hand over her body.

She reaches into her shirt rummaging around for her phone. Pulling out a purple flip phone,
and quickly opening it to answer the call. That's an interesting place to store your phone, I don't think I have store it there.

She clicks the phone to answer and holds it to her ear and starts to talk.

“What's up, Gaylord?”she laughs, giving a wide predatory grin as answers.


“I ran into somebody and we stayed and talked awhile.”


“Just run by yourself, think of this is as my way of paying you back for you being late that one time.”


“Oh Boo hoo, you're nineteen, you don't need a babysitter dude.”

I always feel awkward when people are on the phone near me. I can only ever hear one side of the conversation and I feel as though I'm eavesdropping on it which I suppose I am. It's one of those weird situations that has arisen with the invention of the telephone. It can connect people on different continents, but can make people in the same room feel awkward and uncomfortable! That's a real selling point there.

“I'm just gonna finish up here, I'll meet you at the track when I'm done . See ya later freak.” She laughs the last line and takes the phone away from her ear. I can hear a groan come from the other end before she hangs up and puts the phone away.

“Sorry about that. It was my friend, he and I run together after school.” she says, sitting back down next to me, or more accurately throwing herself onto the bench.

I wonder who her friend is,? I wonder if I know him?

“Do you like him?” I ask.

This time, it's Miki's turn to blush. She looks at me embarrassed before she begins to stumble for words. “Ugghhh. Yeah, I guess. He and I are friends, I even got him to join the track team. He's cute, but he's one of those 'I'll never fall in love' kinda guys. Besides, I'm not even sure I like him in that way. Even if I did, he probably wouldn't like me back.” she says awkwardly, laughing and rubbing the back of her neck.

Here we are, two girls on a bench after school. Barely knowing each other, and yet we have become friends, at least I hope so. Sitting here talking about life, our problems. Boys and bullies. It almost makes me laugh, almost makes me feel...normal.

“Boys, who can ever understand them?” I sigh.

“You're telling me!” Miki laughs loudly “This one,” she says pointing to her phone before tucking it away again. “took me out to dinner. Here I was thinking it was a date, I even put on a dress! Me, a dress! Do you know what he showed up in? His bloody school uniform. I mean...what an idiot!” She shakes her head and holds her stump behind her head looking up at the setting sky and sighing.

“There's a boy I kinda like. I don't....know him though.” I say, trying to contribute to the conversation.

“Is that what made you blush today in our class?That new boy?”

I look down at my hands and fidget for a bit before answering embarrassed “Yeah..”

“That's Hisao, he's the new kid. Good Luck getting his attention though it's only his first week and he's already being carted around by a heap of girls!” Miki laughs, which makes me frown. I guess I never did have a chance at all, the odds were already against me, being shy and all.

We talk and laugh about our problems for a few more minutes before Miki announces she has to go.

“I better get going before he falls asleep on the bleachers or something. It's been nice talking to you Kirino. How about we exchange numbers, that way we could hang out in less depressing moments?”

I nod and take out my phone. She tells me her number and I add it swiftly, eager to save the next contact into my phone. That brings my total contacts to an impressive five. Most of those aren't friends, in fact the only two friends I have are Nori and now Miki. The other three are Dad, Okazaki, and the Nurse.

I send her a text so she can add my number.

[Thanks Miki. For everything. I really mean it. It meant a lot to me.]

She reads the message before engulfing me into another hug. This time, I hug her back.

“Anytime Kirino, although next time if it's Saki. I'll bash er' fuckin, head in!” she laughs, at her own joke, despite the fact that she probably wouldn't. Would she? Isn't that murder? Miki wouldn't, at least I hope so. It makes me give a slight giggle at how I always overthink everything. Maybe I'm even overthinking this.

We bid goodbye and I check the two messages I have on my phone. Two messages: one from Nori, one from Okazaki.

I click on Okazaki's message and skim through it. She is just asking me what happened and telling me that my stuff is still in the classroom. I send a quick reply asking her to hold onto my stuff and that I appreciate the concern, but I don't want to talk about it. I hit send and check Nori's message.

[“Wat happnd? Are u Ok? Srry I couldn't help, I feel rlly bad~.”]

I begin to type out a response before walking off to the dorms.

[I'll tell you tomorrow...I'm better now, thanks for asking. Don't worry, I'll tell you about it tomorrow.]

I walk for a little bit before I get another message from Nori. I sigh and open my phone and look at the newly sent message.

[K. U missed Saki get a talking to btw. U wouldn't guess by who either...Yuuto~!]

Yuuto? Last time I checked he was being a lazy dick in the corner. I wonder what he said and why? I close my phone and walk on. I don't want to think about the incident anymore today, just head to bed. Deal with everything tomorrow.

I head into the dorms, take a shower and collapse into bed. Ending the day better than I thought would be possible.

*Originally there was a choice here, but after a year or so of thinking on it I'm going to remove it from the link, but you can still find it on here if you want to see how it would have played out.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:48 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Act 1:Rising Son
Scene 4: Once again after crying[Not technicaly true to the story, just an attempt at something new]
[Turn her offer down]

It's none of her business, besides I don't even feel like talking to anyone. I just want to curl up in a ball in my room and die.

“No thanks.” I sigh sadly and begin to walk away from the girl and head back to my dorm.

The girl gives a resigned shrug and replies “Hey, don’t sweat it. Enjoy your night.”

I ignore her and march across the school grounds, leaving a trail of despair behind me. My frown is evident and dissuades any further conversations from being brought up by anyone. I walk through the doors in a brooding manner, not even bothering to stop and get a drink. I'm not feeling up to a drink, I just want to lock myself away for a bit. I slam the dorm door behind me and stomp away.

I walk into my dark room and don't bother turning on the light, choosing to bask in the dark abyss that surrounds me. I slam my door shut and grab the nearest blanket, throwing it over my shoulders creating a cape of secrecy. I slide off my skirt and take my phone out of my pocket before throwing the skirt across the room. The cell phone flashes with a small ball of light indicating I have a message. I flip open the blue phone and scroll through the newly arrived message. Two messages actually, one from Nori, and one from Okazaki.

I click on Okazaki's message first, I skim through it. Its Just asking me what happened and that my stuff is still in the classroom. I click the delete button and open Nori's message, not caring in the slightest.

[“Wat happnd? Are u Ok? Srry I couldn't help, I feel rlly bad.”]

I raise my lip in a snarl at the message. Yeah, sure, you're feeling bad what about me? Don't think I feel bad, you weren't even aware of what happened. You didn't even help me! I thought you were my friend Nori! Fuck off.

I feel the anger begin to rise up in me at reading his message. I smash the delete button, and slam my phone closed, throwing it across the room recklessly. Like he cares?! I feel myself start to get angry at seeing the things that surround me.

Anime? Manga?

They're the damned things that got me in this position! Saki was right, I am a shut in, it’s because of this damned stuff. Fuck it all! I throw the blanket off me and approach the pile of anime DVD's and give it a good kick, sending them scattering across the room. My anger grows more and more as I think of all the time I wasted watching them and reading manga. She's right, I am useless. I let out an angry scream before throwing and kicking all the anime DVD's that lay in my path of destruction.

These posters, what a waste of my damn money. I look up at the posters taped up on my walls and rip them down venomously. I crumple them up and throw them around the room, while others I tear apart in a fierce rage. I feel the beginning of a new set of tears-angry, hateful ones. As I embark on my fitful rage, destroying everything that caused me to be who I am I feel a sick release of pain. The person I hate, the person Saki hates, the person everyone hates! The useless, dumb, shut in girl.

I take the manga off my shelves and rip the pages out, scattering them about my room. Waste of bloody time, who even gives a damn. I put my hand on the shelf and swipe them off in one hateful movement sending them flying across my bed and desk like leaves. I stomp on the covers, crinkling and bending the pages under my foot.

I ruined my own damn life with this pathetic hobby! What did i get out of it?! ABSOLUTLY FUCKING NOTHING!!!!

I let out another scream of anger and stare at the carnage before me and stare at one more thing that causes my blood to come to a maximum boil. That stupid picture! Where was my mother when I needed her? Yet here her picture stands. Smiling-it makes me sick. I clench my teeth and walk towards it, my anger overflowing as if it was a volcano erupting. I reach up and tear the ribbon from my hair, letting it fall uselessly to my shoulders. I pick up the picture frame, feeling its ornate design in my burning grasp. Where was my mother? She left us, now she's gone and my grandparents hate me! I feel a surge of anger rise up within and then fire off like a broken steam pipe. I let out a high-pitch sequel of rage and with all my strength I chuck the picture at the wall.

It collides with a loud bang and smash, the sound of glass shattering echoes around my room and I realize what I've done. My anger fades and is instead is replaced by grief. What did I do? Oh god!

I fall to my knees as tears pour from my eyes. I crawl forward through the glass shards and retrieve the picture from the debris. I cut my hands up on the glass, but that doesn't matter. I grip the picture and hold the picture close to my heart, letting the blood soak into my blouse-staining it. Tears pour down my face and mingle with the blood on my hands, and the gashes in my hands and wrists. I fumble backwards until I'm backed up against the wall, cradling the picture of my mother. I'm not gonna lose her twice.

I'm such an idiot.

I hate my life.

Why was I born?

I curl up in a ball and sob loudly and horrendously into the picture, I fell my body grow colder and I begin to shiver. My eyes grow wider and the pain from the glass fades, all that matters is tears and the picture held within my grasp,my hatred for myself-for life.

I lay curled in a ball for what feels like hours, laying in a puddle of my own blood and tears. Eventually the door is thrown open and the light is turned on, revealing the apocalyptic scene before the intruder.

I hear a shocked gasp emanate from them, I go to move my head, but I can't move, I feel weak. I go to make a noise and ask “who it is”, but all I make out is a weak chortle. I hear the person begin to cry, and then I hear a voice, their voice.

“Oh god Kiri! What have you done? Oh god!”

Its Okazaki, but her voice sounds different somehow. Distant and muffled, but isn't she just standing a few feet from me? Her voice is frantic, scared, horrified, disgusted;all of these and more

“Someone! Anyone! Call the nurse, call the hospital! Someone please!!!” Okazaki screams out,her voice filled with despair.

Why is she sad? Is she.....getting farther away?

Her screams for help come answered with widespread panic, she rushes into the room and kneels down next to me, she lifts my head,holding it in her lap. I look up at her, but the light hurts my eyes and causes me to groan in discomfort.

“Kiri, stay with us! SOMEONE CALL THE DAMN HOSPITAL!” She roars.

My eyes laze around in my head and I notice that girls are beginning to file into my room, and each begins to shriek. Their eyes begin to water and they cry, even Okazaki, especially Okazaki. Her usual neutral features are contorted into sadness and horror. Why?

I feel myself being dragged away, but I'm not moving. The light becomes more and more blinding, and the voices more muffled. What's happening? Why am I so cold.

Before I know it, the voices fade away and the light obscures my vision. I feel like I'm falling, but yet I feel like...I'm not moving. All I can see is a blinding white light, and the voices are gone. Only one voice remains of the once panicked crowd.

“Hello Sweetheart.”


Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:50 pm
by YutoTheOrc

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:55 am
by Mirage_GSM
The girl gives a resignated shrug
As for you're friend~...Nori was it?”
I feel as though I'm eavesdropping on it, which I suppose I
Goodluck getting his attention though, it's only his first day and he's already being carted around by the student council.”
Hisao's first day is a Monday, but this is clearly not a Monday in your story. You might simply want to make this "first week".

The "Bad End" is a prime example of what I hate about some VNs: You make one stupid decision - in this case you could even say the decision was more in character - and from there on it is a railroad to a gruesome death - like being eaten by a shark on the 13th floor of a hotel.
Such a thing has no merit of its own; it just serves to break up the immersion of the reader.

Other than the needless choice the chapter was quite good again.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:12 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Mirage_GSM wrote:
I feel as though I'm eavesdropping on it, which I suppose I
Goodluck getting his attention though, it's only his first day and he's already being carted around by the student council.”
Hisao's first day is a Monday, but this is clearly not a Monday in your story. You might simply want to make this "first week".

The "Bad End" is a prime example of what I hate about some VNs: You make one stupid decision - in this case you could even say the decision was more in character - and from there on it is a railroad to a gruesome death - like being eaten by a shark on the 13th floor of a hotel.
Such a thing has no merit of its own; it just serves to break up the immersion of the reader.

Other than the needless choice the chapter was quite good again.
I changed the hanging sent with the I to "I am."

I put in the choice because I wanted to see if I could pull it off(which I couldn't), it was fun though. Well...maybe "fun" was the wrong word, In any case I won't do it again;just a trail and error kind of thing. Glad to hear you liked the chapter, hope to hear from you again! :)

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:50 pm
by forgetmenot
All right, since you're about four chapters in on this, I'll waive my statute of limitations regarding commenting on new fanfiction before I can get any sort of decent feel for what the story's going to look like.

I suppose I should start with what throws me the most: Your egregious misuse of "your/you're". I've only found one surefire way to avoid this that works for any writer: don't use "you're" at all. At the very least, not while you're drafting the piece. Separate it out into "you are". That way you can be absolutely sure that you're not misusing them: "This is your room, Yuuto," vs. "This is you are room, Yuuto." One of those obviously doesn't sound right. Then, when you're finished writing, use a simple find and replace to change whichever instances that you want of "you are" to "you're", and there you have it.

Okay, onto the piece itself. I'll say this: you write this "slice-of-life" genre to an absolute T. It's pleasant enough to read, and while fluffy, there's enough character development to keep me interested. Kirino herself would probably annoy me if I were to actually meet her, but her internal monologue is interesting, at least (if not a bit too self-conscious/self-descriptive). She also seems a little too prone to mood swings - even for a high school girl. None of these gripes are story-ending, and I think you've created a convincing enough character to engage your audience. At the very least, she's much less Mary Sue-ish than most fanfiction OCs. As a side note, I'm not really sure diabetes requires placement at a school for the disabled, but for all I know Kirino could be there for more reasons than just that, so I'll table that for the time being.

There's something about the way you've presented Yuuto that rubs me the wrong way, but you seem content to leave him as a side character (which, unless you've planned something of a 180 for him character-wise, that's a good thing). Nori is pretty decent comic relief. I can't say I like how you've presented Saki. Even if you wish for her to be a bitch, (which, by the way, I have no problem with you doing. Everyone in KS is too nice anyhow) you must realize that people who act the way she does aren't popular. At all. People who are popular yet acerbic are always much more underhanded about the way they deal their blows - either through spreading rumors, or getting their prey alone. They always save face in front of the people they're supposedly friends with. As it stands right now, she's pretty much irredeemable. It doesn't matter how pretty you are; if you're that acidic when it comes to people you don't like, in a public setting, prepare to have no friends of any sort.

Your "bad ending" has me worried. It's so over-the-top and comes from out of nowhere. It's too dramatic, especially comparing it to everything else you wrote in the previous few chapters (which are decidedly humdrum in tone). I'm concerned that the main story may have a few of these moments thrown in simply for the sake of moving the plot forward. So, I suppose I'd watch out for drastic shifts in tone between chapters - a good editor can help immensely with this.

I know it seems like I have a lot of negative opinions about this story, but just know that despite all of these feelings, I still finished it (which is more than I can say for a lot of fanfiction I read - er, start to read). And I'll read the next part when it comes out, too. So don't worry. You've got a good start to your story here, even if there are some bumps. As your writing improves, (and if you keep writing, it will improve) I think this story will find its legs. Keep up the hard work!
dewelar wrote:
brythain wrote:
YutoTheOrc wrote:I'm glad you liked how I made Saki a bitch, the other stories I have been reading all portrayed her that way, so I think it became a non-offical canon thing.
Nooo, it doesn't have to be that way… I'm quite sure mine isn't a bitch. :)
Nor is forgetmenot's, and she happens to be my current Headcanon!Saki.
Aww, stop it. You're making me blush.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:50 pm
by dewelar
forgetmenot wrote:As a side note, I'm not really sure diabetes requires placement at a school for the disabled, but for all I know Kirino could be there for more reasons than just that, so I'll table that for the time being.
Actually, one of Hisao's classmates (Ikuno) is listed as having type 2 diabetes in the class picture.
dewelar wrote:Nor is forgetmenot's, and she happens to be my current Headcanon!Saki.
Aww, stop it. You're making me blush.
Glad to be of service :D.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 3:10 pm
by YutoTheOrc
Yeah, the infamous "your and you're" I'll admit I'm pretty bad at it. That's a good trick though, I'll definitely try that out. Just highlight "you are" then replace it with "you're" if it will allow the story to flow better, I'll swap it out.

I chose for Kirino to have diabetes(type 1 not 2), because I wanted something that was more than "I'm mainstream. Look at me, missing arms, burned body, and such", I wanted her to have little to no similarities(excluding obvious ones) to the main cast. Ikuno Komaki of Class 3-3 has type 2 diabtes, which is less "severe" and more common than type 1. Type 1, is when the cells in your body destroy the insulin created(or the pancreas does not create it), compared to type 2 which involves the insulin production to become less and less efficient.

Yuuto has always been one of those characters lingering on the edges of my mind, I tried to write a story from him, but he wasn't main character material. The story lacked anything really besides useless guff. I plan on keeping him in the spotlight, but only at the outskirts, coming in for a short while. I want to make him seem important, but not main character level of important, like a friend, but not a best friend. Saki I wanted to portray in a jealous, pitiful, but still worthy of hatred light. While she is in fact a bitch, I wanted her to crack at not getting her way(which will be described in the next part), throwing a class-wide tantrum and causing Kirino's opening up to go backwards for a while.

Yeah my choice idea was pretty bad, I wanted to see if I could do it and then cause the audience to go "Well, I...I....damn.". Which I suppose they did, but not in a good way. I was thinking about just taking the entire choice thing out and deleting that post, but I think If I make mistakes they should be open for people to see. So I can look back and say "Well, that didn't work. Not trying that again.", but not removing it just because It didn't work.
forgetmenot wrote: I know it seems like I have a lot of negative opinions about this story, but just know that despite all of these feelings, I still finished it (which is more than I can say for a lot of fanfiction I read - er, start to read). And I'll read the next part when it comes out, too. So don't worry. You've got a good start to your story here, even if there are some bumps. As your writing improves, (and if you keep writing, it will improve) I think this story will find its legs. Keep up the hard work!
No, the negative opinions are fine, in fact they're great(so long it isn't rude and mean). They help me improve. IMO criticism is the best sort of feedback, I can't improve on something that says "Woot! Awesome chapter, keep up the good work!". If I have issues I want them to be pointed out, so I can fix them and get better. I'm glad you managed to finish it! I hope you'll like the next part more :)

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:07 pm
by Helbereth
Helbereth's Aiko is barely missing running into Scissorlip's Suzu.
Actually, in my own head-canon, and in the story itself, they've crossed paths twice.

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:28 am
by YutoTheOrc
Helbereth wrote:
Helbereth's Aiko is barely missing running into Scissorlip's Suzu.
Actually, in my own head-canon, and in the story itself, they've crossed paths twice.
I guess I must have missed that when reading :S

Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:30 am
by YutoTheOrc
Act 1: Rising Son
Scene 5: A Turkey Sandwich and an Odd Confession

When I got up this morning I was unsure of whether or not to come to class today. Yesterday's events have left me a bit knackered and nervous to say the least, despite even Miki's advice. I went as far as to debate on whether or not to put my hair up in a ponytail again,considering that's what lit the fuse on the whole shit show that was yesterday. It didn't matter though, if It wasn't the hair it would have been another thing. Saki was just looking for a way to start a fight, I would have been chewed up either way. It’s always the same with people like here, looking for a way to tear down others as they try to build themselves up. Still, some of the things she said rang true and got to me. Even after a decent sleep and some helpful advice I still feel unsure of everything, my life and the problems I’ve faced.

Somewhere around in my hectic thoughts I manage to find myself standing outside the classroom door obscured from view and more than an hour late. My legs buckle and shift nervously beneath me as my stomach flops around inside like a loose flounder. My nervous behaviour has resurfaced, this time with a reckoning. It seems all too possible that the progress I have made has been thrown out the window; lost forever.

Every time my hand reaches for the door, I retract it, terrified to the bone about what may happen next. My heart beats uncontrollably quickly , my legs shake, and my stomach throws a fit as my mind swims with doubt.

I don't want to let my shyness and fright get the better of me, but it's so hard. The very insecurities I thought I had finally wrestled into control find themselves seeping into my thoughts and taking over my body. I wish you could cure shyness like you could a stuffy nose or a cough, take a pill and you're good to go. But..but nothing in this life is easy, we have to fight for every inch. If we don't try, then what's the point?

I inhale deeply and let out a slow tentative breath in an effort to put my mind at ease. I tighten my grip on my school bag and reach out towards the door, my hand shaking somewhat. My legs begin to wobble beneath and my heart begins to pound away in anticipation. The metal handle feels like ice when contrasted against my sweaty palms. I turn the handle and let gravity do the rest, leaving me to stand in the doorway as the door creaks open.

I hear the class go silent as the door opens and reveals me standing there, nervous and terrified, caught like a deer in headlights. I hate it! I hate that everything is a fight again, it makes it so hard. I keep thinking, 'what's the point?'. The point is rather simple, to live, live the way I want to.

“Kiri?” I hear a voice call from within the class sounding concerned.

I ignore Okazaki's voice and step into the room, my legs shaking with every step and a cold sweat trickling over my body. I let my feet take me to my seat, never lifting my eyes off the ground for fear of making eye contact. A nervous blush creeps across my face as I navigate between the rows of desks, but I think I managed to avoid drawing any more unneeded attention my way.

I set my bag on the hook of the desk and sit down, doing my best to remain a shadow. It's not hard,considering that it's one of the only things I'm genuinely good at.

I look up at the class and find that nearly everyone is looking at me, dying to ask so many questions. Dying to know what's going on, about yesterday, about my tardiness, about anything regarding my skittish flight from the class yesterday. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to show up, the attention makes me even more nervous than I should be. So much for being a “shadow”. I guess even shadows get attention sometimes. Just why does that attention have to come today?

A few moments pass by as the class stares at me like some sort of painting or a convict in chains. I feel my heart rate increase and I grow scared.My eyes open wide as they dance from person to person, passing over the cold inquisitive gaze of the mob. I reach for my bag planning to pick it up and exit the room quickly, refusing to be the centre of attention. I was hoping Okazaki would do something, but it seems she is just as curious as the rest of the class. I lift my bag off the hook and begin to stand up when I hear a loud bang and the eyes turn from me to the front of the class.

“Sorry about that~!Haha~!” Nori yells louder than usual as he bends over to pick up a stack of textbooks. The entire class has their attention on him and his clumsy mistake. I managed to lock eyes with Nori for a brief second and I can swear I can see him give me a wink.

Was that really just a clumsy coincidence or something more? Was that on purpose?

He picks the books up and ushers in a few sincere apologies before sitting back down and inquiring where we last were in the lesson prior.

“Ugghhh. Yes. We were just beginning the next unit, The great depression and the expansion of Japanese trade dominance.” Okazaki says, starting off stunned before returning to her normal authoritative voice.

She begins to talk as she writes a few things on the board, distracting the class from the past few moments; saving me from so much unwanted attention. As she writes on the board the sound of chalk echoes around the now quiet room and I sit back down unhindered. I relax in my chair and let out a sigh of relief, proceeding to take out my books and copy down the note. If I forced myself to show up, I might as well make an effort I think to myself as I begin to click my mechanical pencil into action.

Thank you, Nori. Thank you. I find myself smiling and not quite as nervous, he saved me there. I guess he really does care, I thought he was just being nice yesterday, but nice people don't just distract the class to save someone. I wasn't in any real danger mind you, but I was scared. Nori the life saver. Maybe my pessimistic behaviour is more damaging than what I'm being pessimistic about.

The class proceeds rather smoothly and nobody asks me questions or approaches me thankfully. The class goes on with their daily routine, as if they forgot the events of this morning and yesterday afternoon. The idea causes me to visibly relax, but I still remain on edge for fear of them remembering, you can never be too careful after all. Class dredges on slowly and tediously, the tired expression once shared by one student spreads around the class like a common cold. I guess this is why they call it “The great depression” because it's a boring subject to cover let alone teach. If it saves me from the pestering and attention of my classmates, who am I to complain?

Somewhere near the start of lunch, I notice that I wasn't the only one to not show up, Saki appears to be missing as well. I suppose after an emotional breakdown and terrifying confrontation like that, most people would hide with their tail between their legs. While I'm still resentful and scared of her, I can't help but feel sorry for her. I don't know what business she and Yuuto had, but somehow I was involved. I'm left curious, it must have been important based upon the aftermath it caused. I suppose one of these days I'll find out, but the more days without Saki the better I feel.


The rest of the school day goes by uneventfully, which it has my thanks for. The only thing worth noting was Nori's request at lunch. He asked me if we wanted to hang out and head into town after his baseball practice was over. I was in no position to decline, considering how he saved me from an inquisition earlier today,so I agreed. That's what brings me here, waiting on the metal bleachers at the back of the school watching the baseball team set up for practice.

It's a nice day, the sky is clear and only shows one or two clouds, the temperature is rather pleasant too. It's warm, but not overbearingly so,still retaining that hint of spring. The other students seem to think it's a nice day as well, choosing to hang around outside rather than studying, most choosing to watch a bit of baseball, all in all preferring to stay outdoors. I have to admit I know next to nothing about baseball. Dad used to take me to soccer and baseball games as a kid, but I was more interested in going home than I did about what was happening in front of my eyes. All I can say is “Strike” and “Homerun” are about the only things I understand.

Unfortunately,I'm not the only one on the bleachers, a few other students decided to come and watch the baseball team's practice. All of them dressed in school uniforms, carrying some sort of canned beverage or snack of some kind. My stomach lets out an audible grumble, making me realise how hungry I am. I really should have eaten more than an anpan bun from the cafeteria. I guess when Nori and I head into town I'll get something there, hoping that we can run into a cafe or tea house. At least I hope they do, otherwise, I'm walking straight into the convenience store and eating whatever food I find. I don't think I've ever explored the town much, only ever going to the convenience store for food and such on ocassion, even my mail gets brought to my door! How awesome is that?

Yamaku is amazing, If I wanted to, I don't even have to leave the school grounds for food. I only do such, because I like a variety in my diet and I'm a very picky eater. I guess I could eat the same few meals over and over again, but that would get boring. Man can not live on anpan alone! I wonder if there is any anpan left in the cafeteria? Probably not. When I bought mine there was only about four left in stock and a large line-up of hungry students. That's where having diabetes is a bonus. I get to go into the express line at the school cafeteria. I get my food before anyone else, along with my other special dietary linemates. That probably isn't something to brag about, but you got to count your blessings even when they don’t seem that great.

I shake my useless thoughts from my head and bring my attention to the baseball practice going on. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from this game?


I find myself watching the game in a similar manner to that of a cat observing a television screen; more so watching than understanding. To me, it just seemed like a whole lot of catching and running.How do people even watch that? It's so boring, no fighting, no explosions and not even one moving speech. Nori can have his baseball, I'm gonna stick with what I know. What's the entertaining value of hitting a ball with a wooden stick? I mentally sigh and roll my eyes before coming to the conclusion that I'm just not a baseball person.

I shrug to myself, standing up on the metal bleachers with a big stretch and yawn.
I walk down the bleachers like a set of giant stairs, finally hopping onto the ground below to meet Nori. By now he has changed back into his school uniform, rather than his team outfit.

“Hey~!” he smiles as he cleans his glasses with his tie.

I give him a friendly nod and smile, waiting patiently for him to start our trek into town. I look at Nori as he cleans off the smudges on his lenses, he looks different than usual. For starters, his eyes are a lot smaller than you would expect them to be, but I guess I am used to the magnified version of his eyes after all. His green eyes remind me of small little marbles, not sure if that would be a compliment or an insult if I said such, so I refrain from saying anything and remain content at staring at their shimmering jade tinge.

After looking into the lenses of each eye he slides them back onto his head deftly, only to give me an exaggerated thumbs up. “Let's go~!” he booms, his voice causing some of the students to fall off the bleachers in shock. Oh well...

We begin walking out towards the main gates, making idle talk, mostly about class or practice. He avoids the mention of yesterday's events or how he helped me out earlier today which makes keeping up on my end more natural. He has a knack for conversations, I'll give him that much. I wonder if he talks like this with everyone, making them feel at ease and relaxed even if they're naturally not. I almost forgot about school entirely until he says.

“Oh, by the way, Yuuto is coming along.” He says nonchalantly, as if he was speaking about the weather, shameless.

“Wa-What?!” I yell flabbergasted, stopping in my path. My eyes opened wide in abject horror and confusion. Why did he invite Yuuto? Why would anyone invite Yuuto? Especially after yesterday, he left me to the ravenous wolf!

Then I remember the text that Nori sent me yesterday.

...[K, u missed Saki get a talking to btw. U wouldn't guess by who either...Yuuto~!]...

Is that what he wanted to discuss in town, what Yuuto said to Saki? If that’s the case, I think I understand why he invited him, but he should have at least told me instead of dropping the bomb like he did. I relax a little, I'm sure he has a good, solid reason for doing this. I decide to let him continue before saying anything else.

“Woah~! No need to get so feisty, little lady~!” Nori jests, clearly expecting this reaction from me.

“Listen. Do you remember what I texted you about yesterday? About how Yuuto and Saki had a talk in front of the class?” he continues, suddenly becoming serious at the drop of a hat.

I give a cautious nod letting him continue. He motions for me to come closer before whispering in my ear.

“Well, it turns out that the day prior, when we were studying. Saki approached Yuuto when he was out walking. Then she confessed and asked him out. He turned her down and she got mad, started going off about how she wasn't good enough and how he must have liked you. Now, of course, he rebuked those claims, saying he liked another girl, but Yuuto is a bit of a wild card if I do say so myself. Anyway, she clearly didn't believe him and that's what started the fight between you and her yesterday.” Nori says, trying to fill me in on the latest Yamaku gossip.

Really? She confessed to Yuuto? I'm surprised, but I'm more surprised that Yuuto shut her down. Saki is pretty, very pretty, even though she is rotten to the core and her personality probably has less appeal than an open sewer grate. To make matters worse, she's used to getting her way. From the fashion club being created on her behalf, to her being able to cut in line for food for no proper reason.Everything thus far in her life has more or less went her way. I guess if you continue to fuel the fire it will eventually get out of hand until it rages out of control. That still doesn't explain why we're inviting him to town with us though.

“That's not all either~!” Nori says, clearly done whispering for the day as he quickly moves away from my ear.

“When you left the class I woke up to Yuuto talking to a crying Saki!” he says gleefully, clearly enjoying being in on the latest gossip.

Remind me not to trust Nori with any of my secrets anytime soon, he seems to get too much joy out of this...

“He told her 'Saki, you can't do stuff like that, It's wrong, I'm flattered, but you shouldn't take it out on Kirino. She had nothing to do with anything.' He said that! So~!” he says ecstatically, after doing a horrible imitation of Yuuto's deep voice and gesturing with his hand like some magician waiting for a response from the crowd.

He pauses for a few moments which leaves me somewhat confused before he finishes his point.

“I invited Yuuto to come with us. To thank him and get his side of the story~!” Nori yells loudly, practically throwing his hands up in the air as he does so. I swear I saw birds fly out of a tree right then...

I let out a sigh and hang my head low and gesture for him to continue walking. I'm too tired to fight, just take me to food.

We walk the next bit in silence, me pouting while Nori practically skips around like something out of a child's cartoon. How in the world does he have that much energy?

Yesterday he was practically out of action for his tired behaviour. Yet here he is, skipping, humming, and acting like the typical Nori. I'm not sure whether to be impressed, worried, or something else? I feel my stomach rumble and groan from within me causing me to shudder. Maybe I should feel hungry. I only hope I have enough money for a decent meal. I have my credit card just in case, but I hate using that thing. Physical money is so much simpler and less intimidating. I let out a silent groan as we approach the gate.

We step out of Yamaku and out past the gate only to be welcomed by a very expected sight, Yuuto.

He leans up against the gate's brick wall, his hand in his pocket, leg pressed on the back of the gate and coat draped over his other shoulder, held lazily by his free hand. I can feel my eyes zone in on his obscured hand, as If expecting his pocket to suddenly become see through, only to reveal a horrifying crab claw. That would be quite the sight If I saw that I would probably cry, run away, and never eat crab again, ever.

“Yo,” Yuuto says as we step up next to him.

I give an acknowledging nod at him, albeit somewhat awkwardly as I try to act cool and unbothered by his presence. Nori, on the other hand, takes a far more liberal approach, throwing an arm around Yuuto's neck and forcing him into a headlock before yelling “Hey~! Yu-kun~!”

Yuuto looks absolutely mortified, yet remains too shocked to say anything. His mouth his wide open like a fish out of the water and his eyes look at me as if they were pleading for help.

Sorry can't help you...Yu-kun.

I laugh at his new ‘nickname’ and his current predicament, maybe this won't be as bad as I first thought. Nori is certainly making it fun to watch, I like seeing Yuuto squirm. Does that make me a bad person? Nah, I think it just makes me like any other person, happy to see an annoyance put into an uncomfortable position.

“Hey, ugh...Akiyama?” Yuuto says curiously his voice somewhat strained and hoarse.

“Yesss~,” Nori says, carrying the word on for longer than he should.

“Can you, maybe, let me go? You''re hurting my neck.” Yuuto gives a nervous laugh before being released from his captive bonds.

He lets out a forced laugh before proceeding to rub his neck awkwardly in mild annoyance. He returns from his slumped position back to standing straight, his neck cracking in the process. His posture reminds me of a soldier at attention, that can't be comfortable, so why is he doing it? I want to ask, but refrain doing so for fear of being the only person among us who prefers a lazy posture.

In fact, I think I'll only talk to him if I have to, I don't care how much he “helped” me. I shoot off a sneer in his direction, letting my gaze linger for too long as he turns and looks my way, giving me a somewhat quizzical stare. He catches me mid-sneer and I turn away quickly blushing, damn, caught in the act. Thankfully he doesn't bring it up instead wishing to continue his conversation with Nori.

“So Akiyama, where are we off to?”

“Yu-kun~!” Nori pouts, doing his own imitation of the puppy dog eyes, which I confess may be better than mine.”I told you to call me Nori.” He flares out his cheeks and looks at Yuuto, almost looking like a child. Nori’s disposition has reverted to that of a young child that grows sour as they find difficulty getting their way.

“Ughhh. I'd... rather not..”Yuuto trails off taking a step back from Nori who quickly closes the distance again.

I can see Yuuto begin to shift nervously and awkwardly at being put in this situation. Nori is practically breathing on him, causing Yuuto to lean backwards uncomfortably. Cheeks puffed out, puppy dog eyes boring into what would be Yuuto's soul as he stares at him waiting for either one of them to break. Yuuto runs his hand through his messy brown hair trying to act cool under the understandably awkward situation. Nori doesn't back down, unwilling to adhere to Yuuto's rules, or the rules of social conduct for that matter. I have to admit, that’s a good way to live, not worrying about societal rules.

Yuuto lets out a loud sigh before quickly mumbling “fine.”, he sounds exhausted already and we haven’t even been here for more than five minutes.

“Yay~!” Nori claps and smiles, letting his pout disappear into oblivion,replaced by a gleaming smile.

“So...Aki..N-Nori.”Yuuto stutters, clearly uncomfortable with referring to Nori by his first name. Is he really that much of a dick? Or is he just struggling with his posh, rich manners? The former feels more possible, but then again I might be a bit biassed.

“Where are we going in town? You're not just gonna drag Kirino and me around town for fun are ya?” he jokes, going to nudge me in the shoulder, but then realises I'm too short and retracts his elbow while I glare at him irately.

“How come you have no trouble calling Kirino-Chan by her first name, but not me~?” Nori asks, doing his best to pout again.

“Ughh...well..she’s...she’s...a girl?” Yuuto stutters at a loss for words.

“What's that supposed to mean?” I grimace, looking up at him somewhat ferociously. To be fair it is quite poor, especially considering I have as much intimidation within me as a newborn rabbit.

“N-Nothing...forget I said anything. I'm just gonna shut up now.” He says, visibly slouching where he stands, much to the amusement of Nori; who can barely contain his laughter. Yuuto on the other hand, looks as awkward as I think anyone could possibly be.

“Relax, Yu-Kun~! I'm only teasing!” Nori jests offering a wink at Yuuto ”We're heading to the Shanghai!” he announces, raising his hands towards the sky dramatically as if he were trying to call down the very forces of lightning to guide our way.

Yuuto only grunts in agreement, but I'm left confused. What's the Shanghai? Is that a shop in town? Well, I guess I'm about to find out soon; so there really is no point in me asking any questions. You think with living in this town for almost three years I would have at least known all the shops around here. I guess I'm the only I can blame for this situation.

Well, if they had an anime and manga shop in town, maybe I would leave my room once In awhile. I find the layout of the nearby city far more familiar, which is almost odd considering it takes almost forty minutes by bus to reach there and it takes less than fifteen to get into town. How can someone, let alone a social awkward midget be more comfortable in a city than a small town? Maybe the anonymity of it all? Ignoring my inner questions I give a shrug, letting Nori lead the way down the hill into town.

As we head into town the older wooden buildings and tiled roofs become more visible and distinguished, adding to the allure of this so-called adventure. The sounds of the birds can still be heard quite visibly, while the sounds of cars seem increasingly more rare as we enter the town. Usually, when you get closer to civilisation you hear more cars not less, odd

At least the three of us aren’t alone, I can visibly see a few other students mulling about, not bothering to change out of their uniforms. Most are carrying plastic bags and are heading back to the campus, I suppose that means today must have been ‘grocery day’ for those adventurous souls.

As we venture deeper and deeper into town the once sparse friendly waves grow ever more fierce and my arms soon begin to grow sore after constantly being lifted to wave back to the cheery town folk, many of which consisting an older generation. I honestly consider whether or not I should just keep my arm up in the air in case any more people wish to wave at us. Eventually, we approach a cafe of sorts and Nori holds the door open for the three of us, gesturing for us to enter. We walk in and I realise it's one of those stereotypical tea places teenagers like to visit in high-school mangas or romantic visual novels. With the name Shanghai, I was expecting an old imperial Chinese setting, filled with whatever stereotypes one could imagine.

It seems more western than anything though, despite the name. Even though it's close to school, it looks relatively empty, actually,it is empty. The only people who are here are the three of us standing in the waiting area along with the waitress, wait, is that...Yuuko?

“Yuuko?” I ask curiously at the freckled waitress. Can this actually be our skittish librarian?

“H-Hello, T-thank you for patronising our establishment!” Yuuko erupts in a ferocious blush followed by equally fierce bowing. She bows so quickly and low that I don't even have time to move as her forehead smacks into my head. A loud thunk echoes around the room from the bone on bone conclusion as I stumble backwards rubbing my forehead and wincing, nearly swearing that I can see stars. Yuuko apologises profusely whilst rubbing her forehead in what I can easily empathise with as pain.

Remind me to stay away from her in the near future, that hurt..a lot

“Yu-Chan~!” Nori yells causing Yuuto to jump to attention at the sound of his new nickname. After realising it was directed at the waitress and not him, he visibly calms down and shuts the door behind us gently, “How are you?” Nori continues, his grin spread widely across his somewhat pudgy face.

“I’m not good, not good at all! My head hurts, and I don't really like it here. I'm just here to raise money for my university education. It really wasn't my first choice,but..” she says not even stopping for a breath before she is interrupted by Yuuto who holds his hand up casually.

“Umm Yuuko?” Yuuto asks, wondering what she was going on about I'm sure.

“Sorry, I'm sorry. You asked me a simple question and I start ranting, even though I hate my job. I wish I could just quit.” Yuuko begins another rant before Yuuto brings her back to the real world again.

“Yuuko,” Yuuto says, putting his hand on her shoulder which causes her to both jump back about a foot and blush from ear to ear. “It's fine, don't worry about it. May we please get a seat?” he asks politely, giving her an encouraging smile.

“Y-yes.” Yuuko stutters, embarrassed by her social blunders.

I'm not sure whether to be impressed by Yuuto's skills at solving Yuuko's rant, or confused at how he can go from king of the douches to nice guy with the flick of a switch.

Regardless, we sit down at the table farthest from the door and get comfortable. Yuuto flops down in the booth seat opposite Nori and me, looking irritated and rubbing his stomach as if he was trying to calm it down. I'm guessing I'm not the only hungry person here then. I feel like I'm about to fade away from hunger. I rub my stomach in unison with Yuuto, but my arm keeps hitting Nori. I can't say that when we sat down I got comfortable, as Nori squished me against the damn wall without even noticing. Nori's shoulder digs into my cheek and causes my head to be sandwiched between him and the wooden wall. I let out a groan of discomfort, trying to get Nori's attention in hopes of giving myself even the slightest bit of room.

“Oh, sorry Kirino-chan~!” He apologises, sliding over on the bench to give me more room.

I let out a sigh of relief and get myself more comfortable, folding my hands in my lap and closing my eyes, waiting for Yuuko to come and take our order.

Our red-haired and freckled waitress comes over, still nervous and more than a little flustered. How can one person be so nervous anyway? I feel like I shouldn't be the one to argue this, it’s like the pot calling the kettle black.

“C-Can I take your order?” She asks hesitantly taking out a small pen and pad of paper.

“Do you have any menus?” Yuuto asks, raising an eyebrow.

“We...We do, but.... we're out at the moment......” she trails off quietly.

How can you be out of menus? We're the only people here, where would they go?

Yuuto looks around slowly, as if he was trying to see the very people who had them, but he can't find a single soul other than us four.When he finally does give up, he smacks his lips together and places and order.

“I'll have a black coffee, and a sandwich I suppose.”

“Wh-What kind of s-sandwich do you want. We have umm..” she puts her finger up to her chin as if she was thinking. If she works here shouldn't she know what they serve? Yuuto just looks over at Nori and I confused, to be fair, I am too.

“BLT, Turkey, Tuna, Egg salad, and a few others I think..”

“Well, what do you suggest Yuuko?” Yuuto asks. He instantly releases what he has done and his eyes grow wide as saucers in horror as he realises that just asked the wrong person that question.Yuuko makes the sound of a dying seal, causing both Yuuto and myself to panic in our seats before we realise the source. I look up at Yuuko and see her in a state best described as abject terror. By the reaction alone somebody might gather that either Yuuto just threatened her entire family or asked her a rather lewd question.

“Okay,Okay. I'll ughh take a turkey sandwich.” Yuuto responds awkwardly, holding his hands up as he tries to calm our panicked hostess down. It only seems to work slightly, or at least shift the attention off of him and onto Nori and myself.

Yuuko writes down Yuuto's order on a pad of paper before asking us. Her face remains twisted into a horrified expression as she looks over at us, her mouth slowly closing itself and her eyes are left to continue their horrified gaze alone.

“I'll just have a cup of green mint tea, please,” Nori responds, not missing a beat. I guess he's a regular then.

“I-I'll take a BLT and the same tea as Nori.” I stumble for words, shrinking back in my seat, scared she's gonna panic again. I slide down on the bench and bring my shoulders close together as I try to move away from Yuuko. Unfortunately, I can't move any farther over considering I'm right next to the wall.

“O-Okay, it...will be here soon.” Yuuko bows low before leaving us causing me to loosen up from the small ball I was beginning to huddle myself into.

Yuuto and I let out a sigh of relief at her leaving; she does seem to cause problems where she goes. I’m reminded of a time when I was in the library reading one of their mangas when she quite literally ran away from a student as they asked her whether to read a mystery or science fiction She's not exactly comfortable in her own skin I guess, which is a surprise, especially considering that both of her jobs involve speaking to people.

We wait silently for Yuuko to come back with our drinks. In the meantime, Nori seems pleased as peaches. He has his eyes closed, a smile glued on his face, and his hands are folded neatly on the table in front of him. Compared to Yuuto and I, he looks like it's just another part of his regular routine, which only begs the question, how many times does he go here? More than either Yuuto or I apparently. Yuuto looks fairly bored across from us, playing with his thumbs and scrunching his face around. I guess I probably would do the same in his position; If I even made it that far in the first place.

Yuuko comes over and sets down Yuuto's steaming black cup of coffee in front of him, nearly spilling it in the process due to her shaky hands. She also sets down two cups and a teapot for Nori and me to share. She says something about getting the food in a minute, but all I care about is the tea in front of me. I quickly pour a cup and take a long delightful sip. Ah, not exactly filling,but refreshing. I let out a content sigh and wait for my sandwich. She eventually comes back over and drops off the food which causes my stomach to let out another grumble from within.

I take a bite of my sandwich and quickly swallow, not even giving it the chance to be tasted, or savoured. I let out a sigh of relief and sit up in my seat doing my best not to choke as I almost inhale my food, throwing ladylike manners to the wind. Yuuto took the same approach as I did, starting to eat his sandwich quickly and viciously like a wild wolf. I guess he really did leave his rich-guy manners at the door.

“So, Yuuto. Kirino-Chan and I would like to thank you for yesterday?” Nori says, setting down his tea and looking over at Yuuto, cutting straight to business and throwing away the newly designated nickname.

“For yesterday? I didn't do anything?” Yuuto says confused.

“But you did. You talked to Saki about her fight with Kirino-chan, and effectively defused the situation.” Nori nods as he motions to me.

“I wouldn't say giving her a hug and apologising for turning her down is helping anyone really. Kinda neutral reaction really”

“You did something though, and doing something is better than doing nothing”

“When you put it that way, I guess I did do something.”

Nori nods and motions for me to thank Yuuto, he gets a terrified expression from me in return. He wants me to thank him? Me? The girl who can barely hold a conversation and is scared of attention? I look around quickly, panicked. Hoping to find a way out of thanking Yuuto. Instead, I'm confronted with a chuckle from the boy across the table. I look at him and tilt my head slightly, did he seriously just chuckle?

“She doesn't need to thank me, besides, she doesn't exactly like me.” he says, taking a bite of his sandwich and a sip from his steaming beverage.

Wait. He knows? Well, then again I didn't exactly do a good job of hiding the fact that I didn't like him.

“Oh, I'm sure that's not true. Kirino-Chan likes most people. She's just a tad shy.” Nori laughs in return. What is he talking about? He knows I don't like Yuuto, don't lie to him! Don’t try to sway my feelings!

“Oh? Is that so~? So I guess her sneering at me every class is merely how she says hello?” Yuuto laughs and gives a grin while looking at me.

“Okay, I lied. Sorry Yu-Kun~!” Nori laughs as he takes a sip from his tea. “She only hates you because she doesn't know you~! I don't hate you.” Nori teases with a wink.

I feel Yuuto visibly shudder and a blush spreads across his face. I don't think I've ever seen him blush before, it's kinda adorable. I giggle quietly in the corner at the two of them. Yuuto coughs slightly and tries to return to his normal disposition. The two of them get along surprisingly well, I would never have guessed.

“You barely know me yourself.”

“I can see a good person inside of you. She, thinks you're a jerk though~!”

“A jerk? Well, I guess I do give off that kind of vibe. Hehe”

“Please, Yu-kun~! I think the only thing softer than you is a marshmallow. I saw you gush over that kitten that Hayashi-san snuck in yesterday~!” Nori laughs, causing my tea cup to shake on the wooden table. I'm almost afraid it's gonna tip over and spill its hot contents on me.

A kitten huh? I'm pretty sure the dorm has a strict policy on no-pets. What's even more surprising is how Yuuto “gushed” over it, using Nori's words of course. I can't see him gush over anything, let alone a kitten. He continues to surprise me. Where did this Hayashi kid even get a kitten in the first place anyway? Did he just pick up a stray and smuggle it into the dorm without anyone being the wiser? How much trouble could you even get into?

Yuuto just lets out another sigh before he eats more of his meal, trying to change the subject from anything that could ruin what some would call his ‘reputation’. Nori and Yuuto joke around a bit more, and idly gossip, all while I sit there awkwardly eating my sandwich and drinking my tea. They start talking about how Ritsu Tainaka of Class 3-3 and our own Saya Kousaka are trying to form a band. It’s not really new really, the two of them have been trying to form a band since first year, however, there is still only the two of them. The only other interesting thing that they talked about is the festival coming up in the next few days. Even then I barely say more than a few words, mainly just asking if Nori can refill my tea cup and ordering another sandwich.

We stay at the Shanghai for an hour or so and Yuuto tells us he has to go, he has to meet his “running schedule”, which surprises me. I didn't know you needed a schedule for running, I always figured it was spontaneous. He goes to pay his part of the bill, but Nori refuses,insisting that it's his way of paying him back for the pizza. He eventually relents after a stubborn Nori refuses to budge. He bids us both goodbye and says that we should do this again, albeit on better circumstances and hopefully less awkwardly.

It wasn't all that bad honestly, while I can't say I like Yuuto. I definitely don't hate him, at least as much. Besides, it seems like Nori has made yet another friend. Nori and I pay our bill and head back to Yamaku shortly after keen to return and relax for the remainder of the day. My stomach is full, and I enjoyed hanging with Nori, so I can confidently say that today was pretty good. We part at the dorms and I feel the exhaustion of today's efforts overcome me, practically begging me to head to bed.


Re: The Bells of Life-Kirino Kage (OC)

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:32 am
by YutoTheOrc