Please note: This is not a CYOA-style story. The post has been split to avoid the overlarge post size errors. It can be read unbroken at pastebin: http://pastebin.com/j5SUebDZ
edit: em dashes aren't appearing for some, so I've replaced them with double dashes.
"I am sure she is fine."
"I could go check for her."
"No, that's quite alright, Hisao. How are you feeling, by the way?"
Lilly picks up her teacup as I set down mine on the table between us.
"I'm feeling better," I say. "I guess Emi's colds are as fast as she is. Took a while to catch up to me, though."
What I don't say is how I caught Emi's cold, but I'm sure Lilly is capable of filling in the gaps. Her position as class representative seems to keep her abreast of rumors. During classes, Shizune has been dropping hints and just being confrontational in general, so I'm glad to have a way to avoid her and Misha once or twice a week.
"And how is Rin?" Lilly asks.
"I haven't talked to her yet. I hope she's feeling better."
For a minute, the two of us sit quietly, nibbling on sandwiches and drinking warm tea. This really is a nice place. After classes, this little room on the second floor is calm and peaceful. I'd like to do this more often. Lilly seems to think I'm good company, and Hanako is warming up to me slowly. I wonder how well the two of them know Emi.
I am a little worried, though; Hanako hasn't returned from the vending machines, yet. She said she knows where the best ones are. The only food left is a single sandwich on the lunch tray.
Lilly halts her teacup in the air and perks her head. In the quiet hallway, the soft sound of boots approaches the door, and something else...
"So this is where he's been hiding!" Misha's voice is loud enough to seem like she's in the room already.
Lilly's face straightens into a worried blankness before she settles into a neutral smile.
"L-Lilly?" comes from behind the closed door.
"We're here, Hanako," Lilly calls out.
Hanako opens the door and steps inside quickly, anxious to get away from the grinning girl behind her. Misha waits outside the open door while Hanako reaches her seat, placing me between the two of them.
"Oh, Lilly is here! Hi, Lilly!" Misha says. In the quiet room, her voice projects even more than usual. "No wonder Hicchan comes here! A room to himself with two pretty girls! Naughty Hicchan!" Hanako blushes violently and tries to hide behind the sandwich she's taken.
"Hello, Misha," Lilly says with a smile. Misha's hands translate the response, but it must be out of habit because I don't see the person it's intended for. It reminds me of the last time I saw Misha and Lilly in the same room, and I decide to do Lilly another favor.
"Hey, Misha. Is Shizune with you?" I say.
"Nope!" she announces, "but I've got a message from her!"
Misha puts one hand on her hip and puffs out her chest, holding the other hand in the air with a finger pointing at nothing in particular.
"Hicchan, I am very disappointed!" she begins, "Joining a club is a serious commitment! I can understand if you had missed classes or a Student Council meeting on the same day, but skipping an art club meeting is unacceptable!"
She's really into it, but Misha can't match Shizune's presence with her words.
"To atone for your shameful delinquency," she continues, "you should go to the art clubroom right now and beg for forgiveness! You also have to make up the assignment while you're there!"
The assault of Misha's voice in the quiet room is starting to make my head hurt, and I can see Lilly bracing against every sentence.
"If Hicchan can't make up the assignment, then he should defile the good name of the art club no more! Maybe if he joins the track team, there won't be a con... conflict of interest! Wa ha ha ha~!"
I'm not sure if I was supposed to hear that part. My face gets hot as I hope no one else on this floor can hear Misha's broadcast. Finally, she takes one step back and leans forward, but doesn't cross the threshold.
"Don't disappoint me, Hicchan, or I'll have Misha yell at you, and then we can show you what real club work is! Wa ha ha~!"
Misha ends with a grin, beaming at her delivery of Shizune's words. Lilly relaxes in her seat and Hanako nibbles nervously at a sandwich as I consider what the difference between clubwork and 'real' clubwork could be. I can't deny Misha's--er, Shizune's accusation. I trudged through classes as best I could, but I just didn't have it in me to go through an art club meeting. To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm still in the art club, but Shizune is right; I'm in the club, so I should meet with the teacher to make up the work.
"Okay, Misha," I say, "I'll go there today."
"Good!" she says. "You don't want to disappoint your partner-in-crime, either!"
Partner in what? Who?
"I'll go tell Art Teacher that you're coming! Bye, Hicchan! Bye Lilly, bye Hanako!"
"Thanks, Misha."
"Goodbye, Misha."
"B-bye..."
Misha spins and bounces down the hallway. Letting out a sigh, I take the last sip of my tea, but it's gone cold. Lilly plays with her own teacup, then folds her hands in front of her stiffly. Hanako munches on her last mouthful quietly, sinking into her chair. I try to relax, but it's no use. All of the serenity has been emptied from the room and replaced with a stuffy tension.
"S-sorry, Lilly."
"Don't worry about it, Hanako," Lilly says. "It's good Hisao heard that; It sounds like someone is waiting for him."
"Yeah," I say, "I guess I should get going. Thanks for having me, you two."
Hanako smiles at me.
"Thanks for coming again, Hisao," she says.
I stand up and walk to the door, leaving Lilly and Hanako alone at the table. As I step out into the hall, that tense stuffiness stay behind. The thought of leaving those two behind, with nothing left to eat and only awkward silence to share, makes me hesitate.
"Hey," I call back, "if you two want to do something, I could show you the art room."
Lilly considers for a moment, and even Hanako seems anxious for an excuse to leave the room.
"Hmm. If Hanako doesn't mind..."
"No, I d-don't mind."
"Very well, then we shall accompany you, Hisao."
Drawing Lines
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strange desire
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 1:39 am
Drawing Lines
Last edited by strange desire on Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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strange desire
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 1:39 am
Re: Drawing Lines
With that settled, I return and help them clean up the lunch tray and tea set. A minute later, the three of us are walking down the hallway. Lilly holds my sleeve as I take the lead.
Before long, I can smell the familiar scent of paper and paints waiting to be combined. I reach the door first, and I pause before entering to see who's inside. Aside from supplies and bare worktables, the room is empty except for two people by the teacher's desk.
"Hello, Mr. Nomiya," I say. "Hi, Rin."
Lilly tugs my sleeve in silent thanks.
"Ah, Nakai! Come in, come in!" Nomiya bellows from across the room. Rin turns slowly to face us as we enter. I can't really say whether she looks better now than she did before her absence, but at least she doesn't look obviously sick anymore.
"Your friend just let me know you were coming," he continues, rising from his desk, "and I was just discussing some matters with our up-and-coming star, here. This is good! Now both of you can make up the assignment!"
Does that mean Rin missed an art club meeting? I know I can't say much about Rin, but that seems like the last thing she would do.
"Oh, Nakai, who are your friends?" Nomiya says as he walks over to us.
I turn with Lilly to face Nomiya and wiggle the arm she's holding.
"Mr. Nomiya, this is Lilly Satou, class representative of 3-2." Lilly bows at her introduction.
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Nomiya," she says.
"Ah! That's Miyagi's class," Nomiya boasts. "Yes, there are a couple students in 3-2 that I'd like a word with after seeing the festival stalls. I believe Denton is in that class, correct?"
"That's correct," Lilly says. "He speaks highly of his time in the art club."
I gesture to Hanako.
"And this is Hanako Ikezawa. She's--"
"I recognize you," Nomiya says. Hanako turns a bright crimson and looks down as her hand flies to her face. "You're one of Mutou's pupils. Heh, good move, Nakai! Bring more and I can finally say I teach Mutou's class better than he does! Heh heh heh!" Nomiya sticks his tongue halfway into his cheek and makes a sly-sounding laugh. It's a little unsettling.
There's an awkward silence where I'm not sure if I should continue Hanako's introduction.
"Hello," comes from behind Nomiya. He moves and reveals Rin waiting behind him.
"Ah, yes, good timing, Tezuka," Nomiya says, "I'll let you all get started on the assignment. I have someone I need to see."
He goes to his desk and takes a small briefcase and a folder, then returns to us.
"It's a simple assignment. Well, more of an excuse to spend a meeting discussing some things with Tezuka, heh heh." He does it again, and I feel slimy. "All you have to do is create a portrait using colored pencils. That's all, it's easy. Nakai has even brought along a couple subjects with him! I'll be back in an hour to see how you're doing."
With that, Nomiya grabs a hat, winks, and walks out the door.
Considering that Rin and I have already done portraits of each other, Nomiya's suggestion isn't a bad idea.
"Would you two mind having your portraits done?" I ask. "I can't promise mine will be any good..."
"I can't promise, either," Rin says. "Or I could, but I might break it, and I don't want to do that." I seriously doubt anything Rin draws could be considered bad.
"I don't mind," Lilly says with a smile.
Hanako looks hesitant, but after hearing Lilly's answer, she gets a determined look.
"M-me neither," she whispers.
"Rin, have you met Hanako?" I ask.
"Yes," she says.
"And Lilly, you know Rin."
"It's nice to meet you again, Tezuka," Lilly says.
"It is?" Rin asks with a surprised look.
"Well... yes." Lilly takes the same expression she had the last time we were with Rin.
Since Rin is the better artist, I figure she should get first pick of subjects.
"Rin, do you want to draw Hanako's portrait, or Lilly's?"
Rin looks at both of them. She seems to be looking at them, rather than through them as she normally does. Hanako fidgets under Rin's gaze.
"You have too much texture, it would take more than an hour with a pencil," Rin says to Hanako.
Oh, God. What have I done?
Hanako makes a tiny noise and her eyes widen before she goes as still as stone. Lilly's expression changes from worry to fear. Hanako shakes trying to hold herself steady, but both of her hands fly to her face again, and she covers as much as her slender hands allow.
"I'll take Hanako, then!" I say, moving over and putting my hand on her shoulder. I think this is the first time I've heard someone verbally mention Hanako's scarring... besides myself.
"Is that okay, Hanako?" I ask. She nods slowly.
Before long, I can smell the familiar scent of paper and paints waiting to be combined. I reach the door first, and I pause before entering to see who's inside. Aside from supplies and bare worktables, the room is empty except for two people by the teacher's desk.
"Hello, Mr. Nomiya," I say. "Hi, Rin."
Lilly tugs my sleeve in silent thanks.
"Ah, Nakai! Come in, come in!" Nomiya bellows from across the room. Rin turns slowly to face us as we enter. I can't really say whether she looks better now than she did before her absence, but at least she doesn't look obviously sick anymore.
"Your friend just let me know you were coming," he continues, rising from his desk, "and I was just discussing some matters with our up-and-coming star, here. This is good! Now both of you can make up the assignment!"
Does that mean Rin missed an art club meeting? I know I can't say much about Rin, but that seems like the last thing she would do.
"Oh, Nakai, who are your friends?" Nomiya says as he walks over to us.
I turn with Lilly to face Nomiya and wiggle the arm she's holding.
"Mr. Nomiya, this is Lilly Satou, class representative of 3-2." Lilly bows at her introduction.
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Nomiya," she says.
"Ah! That's Miyagi's class," Nomiya boasts. "Yes, there are a couple students in 3-2 that I'd like a word with after seeing the festival stalls. I believe Denton is in that class, correct?"
"That's correct," Lilly says. "He speaks highly of his time in the art club."
I gesture to Hanako.
"And this is Hanako Ikezawa. She's--"
"I recognize you," Nomiya says. Hanako turns a bright crimson and looks down as her hand flies to her face. "You're one of Mutou's pupils. Heh, good move, Nakai! Bring more and I can finally say I teach Mutou's class better than he does! Heh heh heh!" Nomiya sticks his tongue halfway into his cheek and makes a sly-sounding laugh. It's a little unsettling.
There's an awkward silence where I'm not sure if I should continue Hanako's introduction.
"Hello," comes from behind Nomiya. He moves and reveals Rin waiting behind him.
"Ah, yes, good timing, Tezuka," Nomiya says, "I'll let you all get started on the assignment. I have someone I need to see."
He goes to his desk and takes a small briefcase and a folder, then returns to us.
"It's a simple assignment. Well, more of an excuse to spend a meeting discussing some things with Tezuka, heh heh." He does it again, and I feel slimy. "All you have to do is create a portrait using colored pencils. That's all, it's easy. Nakai has even brought along a couple subjects with him! I'll be back in an hour to see how you're doing."
With that, Nomiya grabs a hat, winks, and walks out the door.
Considering that Rin and I have already done portraits of each other, Nomiya's suggestion isn't a bad idea.
"Would you two mind having your portraits done?" I ask. "I can't promise mine will be any good..."
"I can't promise, either," Rin says. "Or I could, but I might break it, and I don't want to do that." I seriously doubt anything Rin draws could be considered bad.
"I don't mind," Lilly says with a smile.
Hanako looks hesitant, but after hearing Lilly's answer, she gets a determined look.
"M-me neither," she whispers.
"Rin, have you met Hanako?" I ask.
"Yes," she says.
"And Lilly, you know Rin."
"It's nice to meet you again, Tezuka," Lilly says.
"It is?" Rin asks with a surprised look.
"Well... yes." Lilly takes the same expression she had the last time we were with Rin.
Since Rin is the better artist, I figure she should get first pick of subjects.
"Rin, do you want to draw Hanako's portrait, or Lilly's?"
Rin looks at both of them. She seems to be looking at them, rather than through them as she normally does. Hanako fidgets under Rin's gaze.
"You have too much texture, it would take more than an hour with a pencil," Rin says to Hanako.
Oh, God. What have I done?
Hanako makes a tiny noise and her eyes widen before she goes as still as stone. Lilly's expression changes from worry to fear. Hanako shakes trying to hold herself steady, but both of her hands fly to her face again, and she covers as much as her slender hands allow.
"I'll take Hanako, then!" I say, moving over and putting my hand on her shoulder. I think this is the first time I've heard someone verbally mention Hanako's scarring... besides myself.
"Is that okay, Hanako?" I ask. She nods slowly.
Last edited by strange desire on Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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strange desire
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 1:39 am
Re: Drawing Lines
I lead her away from Rin and Lilly towards a pair of stools. While the two of them begin a conversation, I look around for some supplies. Nomiya has left out a couple of easels, a stack of papers, and boxes of colored pencils next to his desk. I grab both easels and set one up next to the stool I've chosen. Hanako lowers her hands to watch me. I set up the second easel next to another pair of stools behind Hanako, then go back for the paper and pencils. The papers are twice the size of a normal sheet, and the boxes have dozens of pencils, but most are just different shades of the same color. Like before, I put one sheet and box at my easel, and the others at Rin's.
Rin and Lilly have finished their conversation, and they approach the little workspace I've set up.
"Thank you," Rin says to me, then walks over to Hanako, who lowers her head to avoid looking at her.
"I'm sorry."
Hanako slowly lifts her head to look at Rin, but doesn't make eye contact.
"I-It's okay..." Hanako whispers, "you d-didn't m-mean anything by it." Her hand rises to the right side of her face as she says this.
"Probably," Rin says. "Lots of people say things they don't mean."
Her strange apology finished, Rin moves to her easel and scoots a stool up to it. Lilly approaches her with a calm expression.
"Where should I sit?" Lilly asks.
Rin looks around a moment, pausing at the window, the tables, the wall behind her, and the door.
"Right there is good," she says.
I can't see Lilly's face with her back to me, so I can only imagine her expression while I consider whether Rin just asked her to sit on the floor.
"The s-stool behind you, Lilly," Hanako says.
"Thank you, Hanako." Lilly puts her hand out behind her and backs up until she finds the stool standing an arm's length from Hanako's. She sits on it facing away from us and towards Rin, whose vantage point faces Lilly and me. I'm sure Lilly's stature and hair hides Hanako entirely from her point of view.
"I suppose we should get started, if we want to finish," I say. Hanako turns on her stool to face me. I pick up a black pencil, sharpen it, and study my subject.
Hanako's eyes dart away when I look at her, but she keeps her head up and her hands in her lap.
How am I going to do this? I suppose I should make an outline, first. I've tried to match Rin's freeform style in the past, but it always comes out a mess. I don't know how she makes one shape turn into another when everything starts out as a splotch here and a blob there. I'm not even sure I can call it a style.
I could try to do it how that blind boy in the club does it, the one Rin had a temporary fascination with. He uses his fingers to make measurements with a ruler, and despite his condition, he's a respectable figure artist.
"Hisao?" Hanako says.
"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm just thinking." I guess I'll stick with a simple outline.
I start with Hanako's hair. It's a simple haircut, and it's long enough to use as a ruler for the rest of her body. When I think I have a good shape, I realize it's too small compared to the size of the paper, and wind up erasing the whole thing.
Starting over, I make sure to size it so the rest of the body will fill most of the space on the paper. It ends up looking better the second time, anyway. It looks okay.
I peek over at Rin and see her eyes darting between Lilly and her paper... and me. Judging by the movements of her leg, she must be sketching up a storm.
Next up are the shoulders, I guess. It takes a few tries to get that little poofiness the girl's uniforms have on the shoulders. Naturally, this leads to the arms. After a dozen tries, I'm still not satisfied with how they look. I keep making them too thin, and it looks weird.
I lean away from the easel and give Hanako another scan. She is still looking at things behind me. I'm shocked at how thin Hanako's arms are. How did I not notice that before? They're so thin. She's so thin! Despite this, her sleeves cling to her arms. Actually, her entire blouse hugs her figure, which is probably why she seems so skinny.
Right, the blouse. That's the next part, after the arms. I give the arms one more try, making them a little larger than life, and it looks good enough to move on. The blouse. The torso. Luckily, I've pretty much made an outline with the hair and arms, so it's easy to add in the shape. Again, it looks too thin, so I add some weight until it looks... right.
It feels weird to think that. It's not that Hanako would look better with more weight on her; She looks fine. She looks good. It's just... I'm trying to draw her as close to life as I can, but it doesn't look the same on paper. Anyway, next is...
I spend a couple minutes awkwardly adding semicircles between her arms. This is weird, and it looks weird every time before I erase them. I want to do this right, and I don't trust my imagination. I take a quick peek over the paper--Hanako is still looking around at things other than me. Okay, this will only take a second.
I lean out from around the easel and study Hanako's chest. Jeez, that shirt is clingy. It doesn't so much cover them as cradle them. Her eyes dart--
I'm back behind the easel in the blink of an eye. My face gets hot as I take a breath, as if I had dived into--steady there, old chap. My eyes' nervous glances spot Rin peeking at me from around her easel with a sly look. How the hell does Rin even have a sly look? Her expressions seem to consist entirely of blank nothingness, minor shock, and that sly grin.
I pull myself back to the paper. They were about like this... Okay, they look good. I mean the drawing looks good.
The next thing to do is her face. Thankfully, her hair covers half of it.
...I regret that thought. I know what I meant, but... I just want to get this over with, now.
"Hisao," Rin says, "could you help me with this?"
"Yeah. Just a minute, Hanako," I say.
"Okay."
She watches me go. I try to hide my red face as I pass by, and I hope Rin hasn't called me over to call me out. She's resumed her blank nothingness face. When I see Rin's portrait, I'm speechless.
It's the very likeness of Lilly, amplified. Atop an unfinished skirt sits Lilly's hands, just as she has them folded. Every finger is shadowed to make them distinct, rather than my usual noodley blobs. Her arms lead up... I guess I never noticed, but Lilly's posture has this regal air to it. Her arms lead up, framing her body, into her well-set shoulders, where the poofs stand like pauldrons. It all reminds me of a European castle. Lilly looks like a Lady in one of those royal family paintings. Her golden hair falls like water behind her face, where Rin has added little shadows to the ends of a serene smile. Unlike real life, however, the drawing's eyes are open... and blank. Rin hasn't added irises yet.
"See here?" Rin asks, pointing with a toe up to the drawing's shoulder. There, sitting on Lilly's right shoulder, is a cute little Hanako.
I look at the real Lilly. Over her shoulder, I see Hanako peeking at us before she drops out of sight. I can't help but think it's adorable. For a second, I imagine that Hanako is actually that small, and hasn't ducked behind the shoulder, but climbed down it, still clinging to the poof with a blush. Wow. Maybe Rin should do more portraits.
"What do you need help with?" I ask.
"Details," Rin says.
I look back at the drawing, but I doubt there's anything I could possibly add to Rin's feast of color and texture. What could I see that Rin can't?
...
My eyes drift back to the drawing's shoulder. There, between the black stockings and matching hair, between her two spindly arms, Mini Hanako's blouse is blank.
Rin and Lilly have finished their conversation, and they approach the little workspace I've set up.
"Thank you," Rin says to me, then walks over to Hanako, who lowers her head to avoid looking at her.
"I'm sorry."
Hanako slowly lifts her head to look at Rin, but doesn't make eye contact.
"I-It's okay..." Hanako whispers, "you d-didn't m-mean anything by it." Her hand rises to the right side of her face as she says this.
"Probably," Rin says. "Lots of people say things they don't mean."
Her strange apology finished, Rin moves to her easel and scoots a stool up to it. Lilly approaches her with a calm expression.
"Where should I sit?" Lilly asks.
Rin looks around a moment, pausing at the window, the tables, the wall behind her, and the door.
"Right there is good," she says.
I can't see Lilly's face with her back to me, so I can only imagine her expression while I consider whether Rin just asked her to sit on the floor.
"The s-stool behind you, Lilly," Hanako says.
"Thank you, Hanako." Lilly puts her hand out behind her and backs up until she finds the stool standing an arm's length from Hanako's. She sits on it facing away from us and towards Rin, whose vantage point faces Lilly and me. I'm sure Lilly's stature and hair hides Hanako entirely from her point of view.
"I suppose we should get started, if we want to finish," I say. Hanako turns on her stool to face me. I pick up a black pencil, sharpen it, and study my subject.
Hanako's eyes dart away when I look at her, but she keeps her head up and her hands in her lap.
How am I going to do this? I suppose I should make an outline, first. I've tried to match Rin's freeform style in the past, but it always comes out a mess. I don't know how she makes one shape turn into another when everything starts out as a splotch here and a blob there. I'm not even sure I can call it a style.
I could try to do it how that blind boy in the club does it, the one Rin had a temporary fascination with. He uses his fingers to make measurements with a ruler, and despite his condition, he's a respectable figure artist.
"Hisao?" Hanako says.
"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm just thinking." I guess I'll stick with a simple outline.
I start with Hanako's hair. It's a simple haircut, and it's long enough to use as a ruler for the rest of her body. When I think I have a good shape, I realize it's too small compared to the size of the paper, and wind up erasing the whole thing.
Starting over, I make sure to size it so the rest of the body will fill most of the space on the paper. It ends up looking better the second time, anyway. It looks okay.
I peek over at Rin and see her eyes darting between Lilly and her paper... and me. Judging by the movements of her leg, she must be sketching up a storm.
Next up are the shoulders, I guess. It takes a few tries to get that little poofiness the girl's uniforms have on the shoulders. Naturally, this leads to the arms. After a dozen tries, I'm still not satisfied with how they look. I keep making them too thin, and it looks weird.
I lean away from the easel and give Hanako another scan. She is still looking at things behind me. I'm shocked at how thin Hanako's arms are. How did I not notice that before? They're so thin. She's so thin! Despite this, her sleeves cling to her arms. Actually, her entire blouse hugs her figure, which is probably why she seems so skinny.
Right, the blouse. That's the next part, after the arms. I give the arms one more try, making them a little larger than life, and it looks good enough to move on. The blouse. The torso. Luckily, I've pretty much made an outline with the hair and arms, so it's easy to add in the shape. Again, it looks too thin, so I add some weight until it looks... right.
It feels weird to think that. It's not that Hanako would look better with more weight on her; She looks fine. She looks good. It's just... I'm trying to draw her as close to life as I can, but it doesn't look the same on paper. Anyway, next is...
I spend a couple minutes awkwardly adding semicircles between her arms. This is weird, and it looks weird every time before I erase them. I want to do this right, and I don't trust my imagination. I take a quick peek over the paper--Hanako is still looking around at things other than me. Okay, this will only take a second.
I lean out from around the easel and study Hanako's chest. Jeez, that shirt is clingy. It doesn't so much cover them as cradle them. Her eyes dart--
I'm back behind the easel in the blink of an eye. My face gets hot as I take a breath, as if I had dived into--steady there, old chap. My eyes' nervous glances spot Rin peeking at me from around her easel with a sly look. How the hell does Rin even have a sly look? Her expressions seem to consist entirely of blank nothingness, minor shock, and that sly grin.
I pull myself back to the paper. They were about like this... Okay, they look good. I mean the drawing looks good.
The next thing to do is her face. Thankfully, her hair covers half of it.
...I regret that thought. I know what I meant, but... I just want to get this over with, now.
"Hisao," Rin says, "could you help me with this?"
"Yeah. Just a minute, Hanako," I say.
"Okay."
She watches me go. I try to hide my red face as I pass by, and I hope Rin hasn't called me over to call me out. She's resumed her blank nothingness face. When I see Rin's portrait, I'm speechless.
It's the very likeness of Lilly, amplified. Atop an unfinished skirt sits Lilly's hands, just as she has them folded. Every finger is shadowed to make them distinct, rather than my usual noodley blobs. Her arms lead up... I guess I never noticed, but Lilly's posture has this regal air to it. Her arms lead up, framing her body, into her well-set shoulders, where the poofs stand like pauldrons. It all reminds me of a European castle. Lilly looks like a Lady in one of those royal family paintings. Her golden hair falls like water behind her face, where Rin has added little shadows to the ends of a serene smile. Unlike real life, however, the drawing's eyes are open... and blank. Rin hasn't added irises yet.
"See here?" Rin asks, pointing with a toe up to the drawing's shoulder. There, sitting on Lilly's right shoulder, is a cute little Hanako.
I look at the real Lilly. Over her shoulder, I see Hanako peeking at us before she drops out of sight. I can't help but think it's adorable. For a second, I imagine that Hanako is actually that small, and hasn't ducked behind the shoulder, but climbed down it, still clinging to the poof with a blush. Wow. Maybe Rin should do more portraits.
"What do you need help with?" I ask.
"Details," Rin says.
I look back at the drawing, but I doubt there's anything I could possibly add to Rin's feast of color and texture. What could I see that Rin can't?
...
My eyes drift back to the drawing's shoulder. There, between the black stockings and matching hair, between her two spindly arms, Mini Hanako's blouse is blank.
Last edited by strange desire on Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:10 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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strange desire
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 1:39 am
Re: Drawing Lines
"Rin..."
"Yes?"
"Are you...?"
"Am I what?"
I point to the blank spot.
"No, that's not me."
Okay, I get it. I think. No, actually, I don't. Sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Lilly asks.
"No, Lilly," I say, "I'm helping Rin."
"You're a good model," Rin says.
"Oh, thank you," Lilly says with a smile.
Rin grabs a pencil and practically jumps to add something to the drawing's smile. As she does, I use my own pencil to fill in Mini-Hana's figure with a light outline.
"How does that look?" I ask. She looks up to the shoulder.
"They fit. Nice boobs."
"I beg your pardon?" Lilly asks.
"Not yours--" I blurt out.
From this moment on, I swear that Rin is at least half a mastermind.
The room seems uncomfortably silent as I glare at Rin, who returns only her best poker face. Eventually, I start back to my own work space. I glance at Hanako on my way back, but both of us catch each other looking and turn away.
While I consider what to do next, Rin speaks to Lilly.
"Could you open your eyes?"
"Yes, of course."
Rin stands and stares at Lilly, then walks to another spot and stares again.
"Look this way, please," Rin says.
"At you?" Lilly asks.
"Yes."
Lilly turns, but not enough to face Rin.
"Could you repeat that?"
"Repeat what?"
Awkwardness aside, Rin's response is enough for Lilly to find her.
"Thank you," Rin says, then continues studying her model before starting back to her stool slowly. She doesn't look away from Lilly as she walks.
"You're a good model," Rin says.
"Thank you, again."
"Most people would follow me with their eyes. I think some people like to watch me." Rin's eyes break from Lilly for just a moment... to glance at me. "I must be a watchable person. That would explain the staring."
Rin goes still. There it is: Minor shock. For a whole minute, no one says anything as Rin stares at Lilly. Eventually, she returns to the easel, but doesn't sit. Another minute goes by as the artist's eyes flick between the girl and the drawing.
"Is something wrong?" Lilly asks.
"No..." Rin mutters, "No, nothing is wrong yet. There's still... twenty minutes left, so nothing is wrong yet."
A peek at the clock tells me Rin is correct, but when I look away, I hear her pull the paper off of the easel. It falls to the floor, and she walks to Nomiya's desk, where she grabs another sheet with her mouth. Before I can even think to help her, she's got it on the easel and has already started sketching again. What is she doing?
"H-Hisao?" Hanako's voice calls me back to my hand over my paper.
"Uh, yeah, I'm almost done."
Twenty minutes until we're done. Maybe less, if Nomiya shows up before then. I still have Hanako's face and hands and skirt to do, the three hardest parts. If I want to get this assignment done, I don't think I have time to worry about Rin at the moment. Lilly is staying quiet while the artist furiously sketches her work all over again.
Back to Hanako. I have to study her face a little more, and she glances at even more things behind me as I do. Her posture seems a little better, too. More straight, maybe. Is she...? No, it must be my imagination. It takes more tries than I want to admit, but there's finally a head on the paper. The first eye takes more tries than that. I start adding the second when I realize something.
Hanako's face rests blank upon the canvas.
I didn't even realize what I was doing. Hanako's trademark fringe is too short on the paper, which is why I'm adding her right eye in the first place. I haven't started the hands yet, either. Hesitantly, carefully, I finish the second eye.
Scarless Hanako looks back at me. I don't know what to do next.
Do I keep going? Should I add scars to her face? I was trying to match her figure just a few minutes ago. This is a portrait, not a caricature. But, I didn't follow reality exactly, did I? And Rin even added a tiny Hanako to hers. Did Rin's drawing have scars? I didn't even look. Or at least, I didn't see them.
My words catch me. Add scars, I thought. As if the defining physical characteristic of the girl in front of me is something extra, something in addition to the person she is. Or would not drawing the scars count as subtracting them? Taking something away?
This is a weird train of thought. All I have to do is add some lines or color this part in... Right, color. My entire portrait is in the same black pencil. I didn't even think about it. Rin's was almost nothing but color, even the lines. My drawing looks okay, nothing like Rin's, but if I hurry, I might be able to add some color to it. Should I use a nice color for her hair, or...?
I'm going to run out of time if I keep doing this. I have to draw something. The face, the hands, the skirt; Maybe Rin's comment about... texture was more apt than I wanted to know.
I suppose I could ask Hanako. It is her portrait, after all. Nomiya has returned our work after grading it in the past, and maybe Hanako will want to keep it. But, if she's going to keep it, I'll want it to look good.
I can't wait any longer. I need to make a decision.
-----
*Thank you for reading! Further scenes will be posted when completed. The choices boxes have been removed until then. I would like to hear what you think. Remember, this is not a CYOA.
"Yes?"
"Are you...?"
"Am I what?"
I point to the blank spot.
"No, that's not me."
Okay, I get it. I think. No, actually, I don't. Sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Lilly asks.
"No, Lilly," I say, "I'm helping Rin."
"You're a good model," Rin says.
"Oh, thank you," Lilly says with a smile.
Rin grabs a pencil and practically jumps to add something to the drawing's smile. As she does, I use my own pencil to fill in Mini-Hana's figure with a light outline.
"How does that look?" I ask. She looks up to the shoulder.
"They fit. Nice boobs."
"I beg your pardon?" Lilly asks.
"Not yours--" I blurt out.
From this moment on, I swear that Rin is at least half a mastermind.
The room seems uncomfortably silent as I glare at Rin, who returns only her best poker face. Eventually, I start back to my own work space. I glance at Hanako on my way back, but both of us catch each other looking and turn away.
While I consider what to do next, Rin speaks to Lilly.
"Could you open your eyes?"
"Yes, of course."
Rin stands and stares at Lilly, then walks to another spot and stares again.
"Look this way, please," Rin says.
"At you?" Lilly asks.
"Yes."
Lilly turns, but not enough to face Rin.
"Could you repeat that?"
"Repeat what?"
Awkwardness aside, Rin's response is enough for Lilly to find her.
"Thank you," Rin says, then continues studying her model before starting back to her stool slowly. She doesn't look away from Lilly as she walks.
"You're a good model," Rin says.
"Thank you, again."
"Most people would follow me with their eyes. I think some people like to watch me." Rin's eyes break from Lilly for just a moment... to glance at me. "I must be a watchable person. That would explain the staring."
Rin goes still. There it is: Minor shock. For a whole minute, no one says anything as Rin stares at Lilly. Eventually, she returns to the easel, but doesn't sit. Another minute goes by as the artist's eyes flick between the girl and the drawing.
"Is something wrong?" Lilly asks.
"No..." Rin mutters, "No, nothing is wrong yet. There's still... twenty minutes left, so nothing is wrong yet."
A peek at the clock tells me Rin is correct, but when I look away, I hear her pull the paper off of the easel. It falls to the floor, and she walks to Nomiya's desk, where she grabs another sheet with her mouth. Before I can even think to help her, she's got it on the easel and has already started sketching again. What is she doing?
"H-Hisao?" Hanako's voice calls me back to my hand over my paper.
"Uh, yeah, I'm almost done."
Twenty minutes until we're done. Maybe less, if Nomiya shows up before then. I still have Hanako's face and hands and skirt to do, the three hardest parts. If I want to get this assignment done, I don't think I have time to worry about Rin at the moment. Lilly is staying quiet while the artist furiously sketches her work all over again.
Back to Hanako. I have to study her face a little more, and she glances at even more things behind me as I do. Her posture seems a little better, too. More straight, maybe. Is she...? No, it must be my imagination. It takes more tries than I want to admit, but there's finally a head on the paper. The first eye takes more tries than that. I start adding the second when I realize something.
Hanako's face rests blank upon the canvas.
I didn't even realize what I was doing. Hanako's trademark fringe is too short on the paper, which is why I'm adding her right eye in the first place. I haven't started the hands yet, either. Hesitantly, carefully, I finish the second eye.
Scarless Hanako looks back at me. I don't know what to do next.
Do I keep going? Should I add scars to her face? I was trying to match her figure just a few minutes ago. This is a portrait, not a caricature. But, I didn't follow reality exactly, did I? And Rin even added a tiny Hanako to hers. Did Rin's drawing have scars? I didn't even look. Or at least, I didn't see them.
My words catch me. Add scars, I thought. As if the defining physical characteristic of the girl in front of me is something extra, something in addition to the person she is. Or would not drawing the scars count as subtracting them? Taking something away?
This is a weird train of thought. All I have to do is add some lines or color this part in... Right, color. My entire portrait is in the same black pencil. I didn't even think about it. Rin's was almost nothing but color, even the lines. My drawing looks okay, nothing like Rin's, but if I hurry, I might be able to add some color to it. Should I use a nice color for her hair, or...?
I'm going to run out of time if I keep doing this. I have to draw something. The face, the hands, the skirt; Maybe Rin's comment about... texture was more apt than I wanted to know.
I suppose I could ask Hanako. It is her portrait, after all. Nomiya has returned our work after grading it in the past, and maybe Hanako will want to keep it. But, if she's going to keep it, I'll want it to look good.
I can't wait any longer. I need to make a decision.
-----
*Thank you for reading! Further scenes will be posted when completed. The choices boxes have been removed until then. I would like to hear what you think. Remember, this is not a CYOA.
Re: Drawing Lines
That's a really beautiful piece, because I can not only imagine what the art room looks like, but its textures and odours and the sounds of the drawing session, even though you haven't really referenced any of those. Full of atmosphere. Thanks!
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6213
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Drawing Lines
Using so many characters in the beginning makes it a bit hard to categorize the story. I think your story is on the Emi route, but he still joined the art club, and maintained good relations with both Lilly and Hanako and Shizune and Misha...
A few parts were a bit hard to swallow or slightly out of character, for example the fear that Hanako and Lilly would be left in "awkward silence" was a bit of a flimsy excuse to take them along to the art room - as well as the statement that they both have never been there before.
None of those issues are major problems, but since three are three of four of them it is still noticeable.
About choice boxes I think you should leave them out entirely. Choice boxes have no place in fanfiction.
A few parts were a bit hard to swallow or slightly out of character, for example the fear that Hanako and Lilly would be left in "awkward silence" was a bit of a flimsy excuse to take them along to the art room - as well as the statement that they both have never been there before.
The Hisao of this route doesn't seem to know Rin very well...Does that mean Rin missed an art club meeting? I know I can't say much about Rin, but that seems like the last thing she would do.
None of those issues are major problems, but since three are three of four of them it is still noticeable.
About choice boxes I think you should leave them out entirely. Choice boxes have no place in fanfiction.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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poopooface
- Posts: 130
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:42 pm
- Location: Deptford, NJ, US
Re: Drawing Lines
I really like the characterization and atmosphere. Great job!
Hanako>Lilly>Emi>Rin>Shizune
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strange desire
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 1:39 am
Re: Drawing Lines
Thank you all for reading! 
I've edited the beginning to make it more clear that Shizune is not present, that this is happening after classes, and to provide a little more justification for what's happening. Thank you for pointing these out.
The purpose of the choice boxes was to highlight the decision Hisao faced and inspire the same debate for the reader. When I first shared the story with a friend, it sparked some interesting discussion, and I wanted to see what others thought. Thus, my first post to the forums. But, including the boxes before their respective finales have been posted toed too close to the CYOA line. When the branches are complete, I intend to reinsert the boxes with links to their posts, so that readers can follow their decision.
Thank you! You're right, I don't spend many words on the setting, so I'm glad the action was enough to let your mind build around it.brythain wrote:That's a really beautiful piece, because I can not only imagine what the art room looks like, but its textures and odours and the sounds of the drawing session, even though you haven't really referenced any of those. Full of atmosphere. Thanks!
Correct. The situation places it outside of canon. Hisao is pursuing Emi, but has managed a friendly relationship with Lilly and Hanako as well. As for how Hisao ended up in the art club, it's up to the imagination; I like to think he joined to avoid the Student Council and maybe Emi suggested it at one point.Mirage_GSM wrote:Using so many characters in the beginning makes it a bit hard to categorize the story. I think your story is on the Emi route, but he still joined the art club, and maintained good relations with both Lilly and Hanako and Shizune and Misha...
I've edited the beginning to make it more clear that Shizune is not present, that this is happening after classes, and to provide a little more justification for what's happening. Thank you for pointing these out.
The purpose of the choice boxes was to highlight the decision Hisao faced and inspire the same debate for the reader. When I first shared the story with a friend, it sparked some interesting discussion, and I wanted to see what others thought. Thus, my first post to the forums.
But, including the boxes before their respective finales have been posted toed too close to the CYOA line. When the branches are complete, I intend to reinsert the boxes with links to their posts, so that readers can follow their decision.Thank you!poopooface wrote:I really like the characterization and atmosphere. Great job!