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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:51 am
by Phillammon
Hi folks! First time poster here, pleased to meet y'all. I came across this place while browsing, and figured this might be a good place to try and put down an... idea that's been vaguely percolating in my head for a while now. Apologies if it's been done before (and if I'm honest, it probably has been), but if not, here, have a flashfic. Call it chapter zero for now- I do intend to write more, and if I do I will be updating this post to be more useful, but it's liable to fall by the wayside. So... yes.

Enjoy! (Or don't. I'm a writer, not a cop)

Chapter 0

"I... I think... I think I have something... I need to give you," Hanako stammers out, after a few false starts.

"What is it? You don't need to be so evasive about it."

"I wanted to give you this for a long, long time, but... now that I need to... it's too embarrassing..." she continues, turning away slightly, allowing her hair to conceal her face from me.

"Don't worry. I'll accept it, whatever it is."

I've got to admit, she's piqued my curiosity, if nothing else. And I mean it. Whatever it is, I will accept it. Turning back towards me, she gives a sweet, bashful smile, before taking my shoulder in her hand.

"Then, please accept my first gift to you, Hisao..." she says, a hint of mischief entering her voice.


She twists her entire body around in front of me, pushing me back a half-step while she brings her other arm around to pull me in, then steps towards me, planting a kiss lightly on my lips.

I close my eyes, and reciprocate, feeling her embrace tighten around me.

I know people are looking. And I don't care.

I could stay in this moment forever.

A chill washes over me. I shiver slightly, involuntarily, and Hanako relinquishes her grip on me, shying away from my touch. The sounds of the city moving around us thin out to silence, save for a slight knocking, vaguely reminiscent of a windchime, somewhere overhead.

Something wet drops onto the back of my head.

What's going on?

My eyes flick open.

Where's Hanako?

...where's the street?

Hell, where's Miyagi gone? I was there just a... moment... ago.

I feel the blood drain from my face as I look around. Something really, really strange is going on. For starters, it's snowing.

In July.

And for that matter, where am I? The city's vanished, the street that we were just walking down gone, replaced by some kind... of... forest.

Comprehension hits me like a brick. No. No. No. This cannot be happening.

The rustling of dry snow underfoot startles me, interrupting the quiet of the forest. Someone is approaching me from behind.

"Hi... Hisao? You came?"

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:05 pm
by Munchenhausen
Not only has Hanako's gift piqued Hisao's curiosity, that chapter has piqued mine.
It'll be interesting to see where you go with this!
Also welcome to the forums! :P

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:44 pm
by Mirage_GSM
There is a story around that did the time loop thingalready, but it could be interesting to see another take on it...

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:25 pm
by NotSoClassy
So basically Hanako is a weeping angel and zapped Hisao back in time.



Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:55 pm
by monkeywitha6pack
Hm this is very interesting concept. I can think of many possibilities of ways this could go. Welcome to the forum!

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:05 pm
by Mournful3ch0
For posterity, this would be the aforementioned story.

It does not start in any way similar, so I do hope you continue. I, for one, like timeloop stories. Cheers.

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:24 pm
by Phillammon
Yep, I took a look at it after searching "Time Loops" in the Yamaku Library- thanks all the same, it's definitely a good read. In any case, thanks for the positive response, folks! Once I've figured out which way I want to go with this, more shall follow.

Re: Start/Load/Extras

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:45 pm
by AntonSlavik020
Count me interested. Yeah, another story did this already, but that one started when Hisao had already had MANY restarts, and only covered the first act.