Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Morse Update 10/4/16)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
d2r
Posts: 407
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:38 am

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (MishMutou update 18/2/15)

Post by d2r » Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:00 am

MFW the last story

Image
Comrade wrote:infinite options does not mean all options, just like that between every two numbers there are infinite numbers, but not all.

If I see that sentence anywhere I am going to send your head to your mother with a replacment order
If you like a moodier fanfic, why not try mine?

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Katawako Update 18/5/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Mon May 18, 2015 10:13 am

An urban legend?
A ghost story to scare the first years?
Or just a romantic lovebird who needs love, like everyone else?
You decide.

The Secret Route

"Aaaaaaaand down there's the Library!" Miki turns to me, apparently pleased with her complete tour of Yamaku. As much as I probably didn't need a fully fledged tour, i can't say it hasn't helped.

"Thanks, Miki," She smiles even brighter at me with that boisterous, yet strangely charming grin. "I think I've pretty much got myself set for..."

Something stops me.
Suddenly... Suddenly something just doesn't feel right, I can't quite explain it. The air around me feels alarmingly dense and heavy, almost as if I can feel it on my skin. I look up to Miki and it's obvious she feels it too, but isn't as uneasy as I am. The strange aura grows stronger, making me incredibly nervous.

"Hey, keep calm. There's nothing wrong." I must be blatantly unwell, as she pats my shoulder with her stump.

"Nothing wrong..? You mean you can feel that too?"

"Course I can!" The penny drops, and she remembers something vital. "Oh shit, you don't know about her yet?

"Wh-What?"

"You'll see!" She grins and puts her other hand on my opposite shoulder, pulling me to face her dead on. "Okay, this is probably gonna be weird, but just don't do anything. Don't stare, don't make a noise, don't approach her and for the love of God don't make any sudden movements."

My eyes are drawn towards a corner in the corridor, which seems to be where the increasingly powerful aura is coming from. I brace for the worst as my heart begins to feel the affects... And I'm not the only one. The blonde girl from my class has collapsed and one boy's nose has started to bleed, yet he clenches his nostrils and continues talking to his friend as if this is the norm.
Is this the norm..?

"Just like a puppy, you have to let her approach you."

"What?! Who is she? What is she?!"

"Shhh!"
Without warning, the source rounds the corner.

Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I really mean it.

A young girl, around my age comes into view.
She's wearing the uniform and has shoulder-length deep brown hair. The first think I notice is her facial scars, strikingly similar to those of the girl at the back of my class. Then, I see her eyes are a blue-grey colour... and faded. Is she blind too? I don't know why I didn't see this earlier, but she also appears to be an amputee...
of all four limbs.

She has no arms, no legs, no wheelchair, no handlers... She is moving by herself. She's levitating.
I'm not talking hovercraft style, centimetre-off-the-ground kind of levitating, she is fucking gliding through the air about a metre up.

This has to be a dream. I must be hallucinating. What pills did the Nurse give me?
This is a bad trip.

As she floats down the corridor, she nods towards people in acknowledgement and they greet her in return. Some turn and watch her float away, but not in horror or shock. They seem envious, admiring her, one guy appears to be checking her out. Everyone is acting as though there isn't a psychic torso flying around them!

The torso stops as she floats past me and my heart skips a beat.
Her head turns and she gazes towards me with her faded pupils.

Well well, what do we have a here? A new student?
WHAT. DID SHE JUST THINK INTO MY OWN MIND?!
She nods at me, apparently listening to everything I think.
I'm also a deafmute, Hisao. I'm afraid this is the most efficient way of communicating. At any rate, it's nice to meet you! See you around~

The... the thing floats away down the hall, apparently giving another student an invisible High-5 as she passes. This is waaaay too freaky.
My heart is beating frantically as I turn to Miki, who has an expectant grin on her face. "Well?"

I hesitate. Surely she's not... She can't be asking me how I feel about the psychic, quadruple amputee that just made me question my own sanity?
"I... I... Buhh..."

"I know, she's amazing, isn't she?" She gazes longingly at the mutilated maiden as it floats away. "She's so modest! and aloof! and oh-so gorgous!"

Come to think of it, she was quite pretty.
Well, ignoring the scarring. And everything else, of course.

Miki grins like a Cheshire Cat at me. "I can see you thinking. You agree, don't you~?"

"N-No! Nothing like that, I was just... getting to grips with what I saw! I had no idea you had students like that..."

"Oh, she's not a student," Miki grabs my shoulder and starts leading me back down the corridor. "She just kinda comes here. Noone has any trouble with her, so she can chill here. She lives in the forest, I think."

"I'm gonna need a sit down," I'm not lying, I feel rather weak. "I might head back to my dorm... Thanks for everything, by the way."

"No worries, slugger!" Miki slaps my back with her stump, making me feel even worse. "I'll tell Mutou you hurled, or something."

I give her an appreciative smile and peel off towards the dormatories.
How the fuck am I going to sleep tonight?
Last edited by Munchenhausen on Mon May 18, 2015 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

User avatar
Alpacalypse
Posts: 436
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:00 am
Location: Britbongistan

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Katawako Update 18/5/15)

Post by Alpacalypse » Mon May 18, 2015 11:50 am

Munchenhausen wrote:Katawako
Can't remember where she originated from. Headcanon thread, maybe? H-game thread? I got no clue.

Anyway, this whole fic is basically what my reaction would have been upon seeing, as you so eloquently put it, a "psychic, quadruple amputee that just made me question my own sanity". Let's hope that she doesn't decide to to do this to anyone who ticks her off.

Oh well, nice work (?), Munchy.
Hisao x Katawako new OTP
Last edited by Alpacalypse on Fri May 22, 2015 7:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am the harbinger of your destruction... By herbivorous, mountain dwelling quadrupeds... fear me
---
I also write now, apparently. Since everyone else does it, I'm putting it here
---
I have also discovered that I'm a decent proofreader. Anybody with SPaG problems is free to PM me their work for a thorough analysis and/or evisceration. Depends on how I'm feeling.

User avatar
Gajzla
Posts: 245
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:52 pm
Location: England

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Katawako Update 18/5/15)

Post by Gajzla » Mon May 18, 2015 12:28 pm

Oh I see how it is, I write a story with a ghost in it, so you have to as well. *Mumbles about them up north incoherently* :lol:

I can’t help but feel this is waiting for a part two, though if that part two features Miki and a disabled ghost doing unspeakable things in a empty classroom, it could at once scar and impress me. But until then this is really well written, I think your style would translate well into longer works.

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Katawako Update 18/5/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Mon May 18, 2015 7:31 pm

Alpacalypse wrote:Can't remember where she originated from. Headcanon thread, maybe? H-game thread? I got no clue.
I'm afraid Katawako has been around these parts longer than I have :P One of the age-old KS memes, like "why does she wear glasses if she's deaf?" :)
Gajzla wrote:Oh I see how it is, I write a story with a ghost in it, so you have to as well. *Mumbles about them up north incoherently* :lol:
Hey, I'm only halfway up north ;) But nah, ain't no ghost. Just a psychic limbless QT3.14!
I can’t help but feel this is waiting for a part two, though if that part two features Miki and a disabled ghost doing unspeakable things in a empty classroom, it could at once scar and impress me. But until then this is really well written, I think your style would translate well into longer works.
It was designed to be a false intro to a Katawako Route, but alas I can't be arsed to go through with it. Just a bit of writing for shits and giggles.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Soldier Side Update 22/5/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Thu May 21, 2015 7:26 pm

Memoirs of a Soldier

The smoke is thick in the air. So thick, I can barely see more than a few metres ahead of me... Although I suppose this smashed windscreen doesn't help. Trying to regulate my breathing, I peel my head off of the steering wheel and look around.

Tsukuda lies in the passenger seat, completely still. I call him, but he doesn't respond. I also note his unnatural position, his arm appears to be bent the wrong way. Not much time, I'll have to deal with him later. Pain flies up my neck when I try to turn to the back seat, but I force myself to look. My second squadmate sits against the left-side door with his feet on the seat, ever vigilant and firing his PM-6 out the back window in short bursts. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen him anything less than 'ready'.

Lieutenant Koyabashi Hayate is the FNG, and the recruit I've been tasked with sharpening up. He's been training alongside me for three months, now. He's a good kid, and at only 23 he's already made himself a name around here. He has a long way to go before he's up to my standard, but he's certainly on his way. He knows what he's doing.

"Nice to see you awake, but I could use some help here!"

It's only now that I realise where I am; Currently sat in the driver's seat of a smashed Komatsu LAV, with insurgents hot on our tail. We're somewhere east of Kawasaki, and have been forced to take our daring escape onto public highways. I suppose my skittish attention span got the better of me, as I appear to have ran into the back of another car halfway through a tunnel. Command's going to have my head for this.

Hayate's voice is hinted with slight panic, I imagine they must be getting close. Above my head is a small compartment holding a handgun, and that's all I need.
I kick open the door and start firing my USP, with the Lieutenant joining me after he reloads.

Perhaps this is the part of the job I should hate. I'm not saying I like it, but it's certainly exciting. The crack of gunfire, the shouts of the fallen, the knowledge that any one of these hundreds of bullets could not only stop me, but kill me. One just zipped past my face. It's brilliant.

Although, I wouldn't mind a quieter job. I suppose my wife would prefer me to take one too, with our son on his way. Maybe a gardener, a teacher or even a fisherman. I quite enjoy fishing... but that being said, the adrenaline you get doing this is like nothing I've ever felt. Down goes another terrorist. I'll never say it aloud, but I love this. When you've finally found your niche, it's hard to imagine doing anything else.

I should probably concentrate on the job at hand.

I duck behind an abandoned civilian car and reach into my rigging for a frag grenade. I never get to use these anymore. Pull, 3... 2... Throw!
Bang. Lovely.

When the dust clears, all is still. No more gunfire, no more shouting. Just the groaning of injured men who once stood before my small task-force. All is calm.

That is, until I hear the laboured heaving behind me. I spin on the spot to see Hayate lying on the tarmac, about a metre away.

He's clutching his chest, frantically trying to speak. His eyes are wide as I crouch beside him. Blood visibly soaks his BDUs...

"Hayate, where's your vest?"

"It... B-back seat..."
He always had the bad habit of removing his kevlar because he 'finds it uncomfortable'. I'd told him time and time again not to, that doing it would be the death of him...
I lift him slightly and look underneath him. It's too dark in this tunnel to see clearly.

"Dont worry, it's just gone through and through, you're gonna be fine"
I'm not being 100% straight with him. The been shot right through his chest... His lung is punctured and he's coughing blood. Honestly, I don't know how long he has.

"Man, I'm dying!"

"No you're not!"

"Sergeant, I can't feel my feet..."

"Shut it, Lieutenant, medevac is on its way"

"I'm not gonna make it. I'm really not."
He's working himself up again and with a heartrate like this he wont last ten minutes.
"Damnit, it's Ayame's birthday next month... I was gonna surprise her..."

"And you still will! Just stop moving and-"

"Don't you patronise me, I know I'm a goner!”
He looks around, grimacing in pain,
“Where's the Doc'?"

My reply is a quick look back to the LAV. The medic we'd been assigned from 23rd Regiment still hasn't moved. He's probably dead.

"Fuck, man..."
The realisation kicks in, and he seems to calm down, surprisingly.
"Oh God... Mom, I'm so sorry..."

I can't have him giving up like this. I pull a morphine syringe from my first aid kit and dope him up. The evac helicopter can be heard from the end of the tunnel, to our north.

"Sarge, did I do alright?"
He catches me off guard. He's never asked how he'd done. He'd give it his all and wait for me to tell him to retry, but he's never directly asked me before.

"Lieutenant Hayate, you did great. Spot on."

"Thanks, Mutou..."
As his grip on his chest visibly loses strength, I let my head drop. Funny, I can't remember him ever using my name, even in death.
"Mutou..?"


"Professor?"

"Professor!"

Back to reality.
No smoke, no blood, no helicopters. Just a quiet classroom and an aspiring journalist waiting expectantly, notebook in hand.
"What was your last job?"

"Oh, um... Warehouse work. "
I blurt my answer out at a moment's notice. Damn, I should have said something a little less dull. Naomi visibly deflates and jots my answer down on her notepad, much to my amusement.
“Yeah, I'm afraid I was on a forklift. What, were you expecting something a little more exciting?”

She shakes her head and politely excuses herself. As she skips out of the room, I pick up my newspaper again. Five minutes until their lunch hour is over... Plenty of time to find out how much a rowboat would cost. Yeah, I should buy a boat.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3495
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Soldier Side Update 22/5/15)

Post by brythain » Thu May 21, 2015 8:31 pm

Ah, that's good. It's like a beer with the mates after a long day with the forklift.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
HipsterJoe
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:24 am
Location: Silicon Valley (The Show)

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Soldier Side Update 22/5/15)

Post by HipsterJoe » Thu May 21, 2015 8:37 pm

I don't know what it says that I read a story about a limbless psychic and a high school teacher fighting off terrorists in the past and think, "This is only barely ridiculous." But these are fun, competent shorts and always worth a chuckle.

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 5977
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Soldier Side Update 22/5/15)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri May 22, 2015 6:21 am

Well, it was not bad... though I'm not sure if the last three paragraphs justify it being a KS fic...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Soldier Side Update 22/5/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Fri May 22, 2015 6:45 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, it was not bad... though I'm not sure if the last three paragraphs justify it being a KS fic...
Maybe not, in all fairness. It's just I've enjoyed toying with the idea that Mutou is ex-special forces, ever since I read that one Fanfic of him fighting off a hostage-taking at Yamaku :lol:
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Ionic Update 2/6/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Tue Jun 02, 2015 6:59 am

Ionic Bonds

"Nakai, you don't seem all that invested, today,"
Mutou looks down to Hisao Nakai, the only other member of his newfound Chemistry Club.
"Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry sir, my mind's a little preoccupied..."
Hisao shakes his head, trying to loosen his thoughts to no avail. He looks down, defeated.
"It's just, there's a girl I like... and I'm sure I have a chance, but I just can't get close to her."

"Oh? Why not?"
Mutou puts his book down and looks to his scientific apprentice. He himself used to be quite the Casanova, back in his University days. 'The man with a PhD in Romance and Chemistry.'


"Well, she's not doing very well in lessons. She says maths is for... Well, she doesn't like maths",
He smiles at the thought of her catchphrase, but refrains from repeating the expletive.
"So to force herself to pass, she's spending all her spare time revising and studying. Because I'm good enough at the subject, I don't need to revise and so I have a lot of free time. I'd love to spend the time getting to know her better, but she just can't free herself from studying...
It's like we have opposite problems! And even worse, because of it I... I-I can't even remember how Sodium Chloride bonds!"

Hisao drops his pen and lets his head fall into his hands.
Mutou stands from his desk, sauntering over to him. This is certainly something he can help him with.
"Well, think of it like this.
Kitchen Salt, or Sodium Chloride, is made up of a Sodium atom and a Chlorine atom in an Ionic bond.
An Ionic Bond consists of two atoms both with a similar problem; Both of them have an extraneous charge. One atom is Positive, one is negative. One atom is missing electrons, one has too many..."
Hisao looks up from his scribbles, making the connection to his problem and what Mutou is saying.

"For the atoms to come closer, to bond, the atom that has too many electrons can give the spare to the atom lacking. This act of sharing is what brings the atoms together...
Do you understand what I'm saying?"

The gears turn in the tired student's head, and he jumps to his feet,
"Sir, you're right! It was so damn obvious, I was missing it completely!"
Finally, without a moment's notice Hisao runs out of the room, thanking his teacher profusely, to go make ammends with his heart's true desire.

Mutou stands bewildered, alone in the classroom.
"I was just talking about electrons..?"
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

User avatar
Alpacalypse
Posts: 436
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:00 am
Location: Britbongistan

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Ionic Update 2/6/15)

Post by Alpacalypse » Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:24 am

Okay then. Is this a Miki route, or am I looking too deep into the maths thing?
Either way, it's not bad.

However, I saw this, which is an instant fail in my books:
Munchenhausen wrote:An Ionic Bond consists of two atoms both with a similar problem; Both of them have an extraneous charge. One atom is Positive, one is negative. One atom is missing electrons, one has too many...
*Flexes science muscles*
Okay, I did not spend three years of secondary school learning this shit for me to correct somebody on the internet, but it's what I'm gonna do now!
An ATOM cannot be positive or negative - they will always have the same number of positive protons and negative electrons. However, only elements in group 8 (or group 0, w/e) have full outer shells of electrons (a full outer shell consists of 8 electrons, except in the first shell, which is two). Elements in group 1 have one electron in their outer shells, those in group 2 have two etc.
During ionic bonding, an element with less than four electrons that's the normal standard, but it can be different in its outer shell (in this case, sodium) will give all the electrons in its outer shell to the atom(s) it bonds with, giving those atoms full outer shells (in this case, chlorine). This then means that the first atom will become a positive ION (having more protons than electrons) and the second atom will become a negative ION (having less protons than electrons).
There, your science is fixed. sorry for being pedantic

Anyway, pretty good work, here. Clueless Mutou is always amusing to me.
I am the harbinger of your destruction... By herbivorous, mountain dwelling quadrupeds... fear me
---
I also write now, apparently. Since everyone else does it, I'm putting it here
---
I have also discovered that I'm a decent proofreader. Anybody with SPaG problems is free to PM me their work for a thorough analysis and/or evisceration. Depends on how I'm feeling.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3495
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Ionic Update 2/6/15)

Post by brythain » Tue Jun 02, 2015 10:24 am

Alpacalypse wrote:However, only elements in group 8 (or group 0, w/e) have full outer shells of electrons (a full outer shell consists of 8 electrons, except in the first shell, which is two). Elements in group 1 have one electron in their outer shells, those in group 2 have two etc.
(Or Group 18. See IUPAC LINK. Sorry, professional obsession. :D)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
Alpacalypse
Posts: 436
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:00 am
Location: Britbongistan

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Ionic Update 2/6/15)

Post by Alpacalypse » Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:50 am

brythain wrote:(Or Group 18. See IUPAC LINK. Sorry, professional obsession. :D)
I was always taught that transition metals don't have a group :/

Shows what I know :lol:
I am the harbinger of your destruction... By herbivorous, mountain dwelling quadrupeds... fear me
---
I also write now, apparently. Since everyone else does it, I'm putting it here
---
I have also discovered that I'm a decent proofreader. Anybody with SPaG problems is free to PM me their work for a thorough analysis and/or evisceration. Depends on how I'm feeling.

User avatar
Munchenhausen
Posts: 1874
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
Location: Leicester, UK

Re: Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Ionic Update 2/6/15)

Post by Munchenhausen » Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:01 pm

Well, I hang my head in scientific shame :lol: I knew there was a reason why I failed my A-Level in Chemistry!
and literally every other I studied for
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

Post Reply