Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Morse Update 10/4/16)

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Munchenhausen
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Bugger It, Oneshot Thread (Morse Update 10/4/16)

Post by Munchenhausen » Thu Mar 13, 2014 7:07 am

I have a good number of literary ideas, hardly any completed and even fewer deserving of their own dedicated thread.
Oneshot compilation thread it is!
Mostly, these are done on my phone during my lunch breaks.
Expect silly spelling typos due to my tiny keyboard


Contents:
Hanako's Secret (This Post)
  • Hanako divulges somer personal information with her boyfriend
Lilly's Dad's Visit to Chernobyl
  • Lilly's Father and Hisao get to know eachother
This Will All End In Tears
  • Potato is the master of Romance
Fatso the Fatarsed Cat
  • The short tale of a Fat Cat.
Ringing
  • I attempted something serious once
The Mysterious Stranger
  • Katawa Shoujo/A.S. Cannes crossover fic
Taro Has a Chance
  • Miki shows some interest, and Taro has eaten an entire loaf of sweetbread
My Big Day Out At Yamaku
  • Self Insert fanfics in a nutshell
The Night Before Christmas
  • Behold, the first poem I've written in about ten years!
Student-Teacher Relations
  • Misha attempts to win the heart of a certain scatterbrained professor.
The Secret Route
  • The introductory scene to the secret route you unlock, upon completing the VN 100% fifteen times over.
Memoirs of a Soldier
  • ...
Ionic Bonds
  • Hisao and Mutou have a bloke chat.
The Student Council Initiation
  • Shizune treats the future Student Council to a meal in her room.
No Words
  • Actions speak louder than words.
Morse
  • Lilly seeks Shizune to discuss matters.
---

Hanako's Secret
The summer sunset lights Hanako's room in the most glorious shade of orange. Birds chirping and the occasional chat of people walking by create a calming atmosphere as Hanako and her boyfriend lay on her bed, watching a movie on the small DVD Player They had smuggled in. She rests her head on his chest and listens to the syncopated heartbeat that brought Hisao here to Yamaku, and more importantly, brought Hisao and Hanako together...

The first time she laid like this and listened to his faulty heart, it worried her. It was essentially a normal heart beat, but it would occasionally thump twice in quick successiion, or even miss a beat or two. It happened just enough that it would catch her off guard constantly. A constant reminder of his condition... It almost ruined those sweet evenings.

Over these last few months, though, her view has changed. The irregular beating has become less of an omen, and more of a signature. It's a heartbeat unlike any other's. A beat that could only belong to Hisao, his unique heart beating away dispite everything that has happened.

It was also a reminder that he was alive.
For this, she was glad.

"H-Hisao," Hanako's stutter is a lot smoother in private, but unfortunately still prominent.
Hisao looks down at his love, who looks up to meet his gaze. "Do you love me?"

Hisao chuckles and runs his fingers through her hair. She asks this from time to time, but why is a mystery. If Hisao were to guess, he would guess it was down to her anxieties. Well, either that, or she just likes to hear him say it. "You have no idea how cute you can be," She pouts and snuggles closer. "I love you, Hanako, and nothing will ever change that,"

"N-nothing?" She pulls Hisao's shirt up to cover her blush, peeking over the top to watch his face carefully. Her smile melts his heart and he nods, a truely happy smile gracing his lips. "T-then I... I have a confession to make..."
"Oh?" Hisao's heart picks up pace a bit. Why did she make me say that before telling me?

Hanako sits up and takes Hisao's hands in her own. Her eyes focus on his hands, occasionally flicking up to meet his gaze. She forces her blush down and takes a few breaths.
"I know it's a s-stigmatised g-group... a-and I hope i-it doesn't ch-change how you see me..." Her stuttering picks up dramatically, showing exactly how anxious she is. "...B-but I know I-I can trust you..."

"H-Hisao. I'm a Narutard."
"...What?"
"I... I am a f-fan of th-the anime N-Naruto..."
After a few moments of silence, Hanako gazes up to meet her boyfriend's eyes looking at her. Oh God, please say something. Please.

"Is that it?" He's smirking.

Relief floods the crispy girl and she embraces Hisao in a tight hug. Of course Hisao wouldn't mind me liking an anime! He loves me... He loves me for who I am! He isn't like that.
A sudden wave of excitement takes over, and Hanako jumps to her feet. "W-Wait here!"

She skips over to her wardrobe and shuffles around in the drawers. When she turns around, she's wearing a Ninja Headband and is clutching a few sheets of paper, covered in drawings. She is positively beaming.
"I-I drew these,"

Hisao lets a short laugh and starts scanning the pages, under the very observant eye of Hanako. He meets her gaze and puts an arm around her. "You drew these? Hanako, these are really good!"
She holds him closer and starts pointing out different characters that she's scribbled down, elated now that she has someone who shares her interest.


However, Hisao isn't really listening to her. He isn't focussing on who is an actual character and who she invented. He doesn't really give a rat's arse.
He's subtly sending a text whilst Hanako's distracted.

dude defcon 1
do it


bro i no ur in there! get out!

no time
just do it now
before its 2 late


Kenji drops his phone and scrambles to his desk. Slamming on a kevlar helmet, he pulls out a device with a big red button on the front. A single manly tear drops down his cheek.
"You're a goddamn hero, Hisao. God speed."

The very foundations of Yamaku High School shakes, as fourteen homemade bombs rip through the girl's dormatories. Screams are drowned out as the combined sounds of a kilogram of Potassium Chlorate and three weeks of illegal internet research all come together. They did it. They foiled the Feminist's plans! When the dust settles, all thats left is an amassment of rubble and the occasional limb. There were no survivors in the devestation. The Male:Female ratio of Yamaku was cut to 5 males to every female. The operation was a massive success.

On that day, Hisao Nakai died for our safety.
Never forget.

Image
Last edited by Munchenhausen on Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:08 pm, edited 34 times in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
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brythain
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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by brythain » Thu Mar 13, 2014 7:53 am

A kilogram of potassium chloride might cause a lot of deaths if injected intravenously. But it won't explode…

Suggest you do look for typos, though. :)

Fun piece!
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by bhtooefr » Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:31 am

Yeah, adding a chlorine atom really makes the alkali metals far, far less fun.

Not sure I'd choose an alkali metal for that mission anyway, though. (And now I'm probably on a few lists.)
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
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Munchenhausen
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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Munchenhausen » Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:30 am

Haha I'm afraid my only knowledge of bombs comes from a single quote from TF2's Demoman
"One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chloride, one errand TWITCH..! And KABLEWIE!"

I'm thinking a fictional, one-eyed alcoholic isn't the best source of information

EDIT:
Turns out he said Potassium Chlorate. My bad and Fix'd
Last edited by Munchenhausen on Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by GorisTheKing » Thu Mar 13, 2014 2:36 pm

Munchenhausen wrote:Haha I'm afraid my only knowledge of bombs comes from a single quote from TF2's Demoman
"One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chloride, one errand TWITCH..! And KABLEWIE!"
Never having played the game but I'll take a wild stab in the dark and say he said potassium nitrate instead.

Glad so see Kenji finally convinced somebody to take feminism seriously.

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Frankyo » Thu Mar 13, 2014 3:43 pm

As a casual fan of Naruto...

I lol'd.

I'd be fine if Hanako was a "narutard", though because it's Hanako
Girls: Hanako/Misha > Lilly > Emi > Shizune/Rin
Routes: I realized that every route has its own charms, but felt that Shizune's was lacklustre. It has Misha though!

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by TyronePotato » Thu Mar 13, 2014 4:47 pm

Here I thought this would be a sappy romance fic, and suddenly Hisao kills all the girls in Yamaku.

I lol'd A LOT.
ooooh feels.

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:28 pm

Munchenhausen wrote: dude defcon 1
do it
I lol'd. Hard. I knew it could only get better from there.
Munchenhausen wrote:Screams are drowned out as the combined sounds of a kilogram of Potassium Chloride and three weeks of illegal internet research all come together.
Umm, do you mean Potassium Chlorate? KCl isn't volitile, but boy KClO3 sure is. Compounds are fun, but the chemistry behind it is important.
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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by brythain » Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:46 pm

A kilo of KClO3 (about one moderately-sized beaker full of solid crystals) wouldn't be destructive enough unless mixed with other material (redacted in case the NSA decides we're a security threat). Also, too sensitive pure. :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by PlayNemesis » Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:22 pm

The instant I read "crispy girl" I knew that it was all going to hell in a handbasket. Glad to see you made it.

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:55 am

I thought this was going to be a nice sappy story, then when I read naurutard I had to put my ipad down and just laugh for a minute. Idc about the littles things I found the hilarious bravo
Wahahaha~.
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Munchenhausen
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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Munchenhausen » Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:09 am

Mournful3ch0 wrote: Umm, do you mean Potassium Chlorate? KCl isn't volitile, but boy KClO3 sure is. Compounds are fun, but the chemistry behind it is important.
That's exactly what I meant... Umm... I was just testing you..! Yeah, that's right! It was a test! Hah!
*Nervously hides under desk*

Cheers, and fixed
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
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"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Sea » Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:55 am

I expected nothing less from you. Well done.
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Re: Hanako's Secret (Oneshot)

Post by Craftyatom » Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:01 pm

I have a horrible tendency to look away from the screen and, when I look back, start reading from a point further on than I left off at, leading to inevitable spoilers. I tabbed over to skype about when he ran his fingers through her hair, and when I tabbed back, my eyes were drawn to some large orange text at the bottom.

Fortunately, I looked back up and ignored it, assuming that Hisao was texting Kenji something to get him off his back. Just goes to show how quickly the story changed over only the space of my screen.

All else aside, though, this was well done. It felt a little underwhelming because I was all riled up and ready for a romantic one-shot (especially given the slightly misleading title), but that's more to do with my expectations than your writing.
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Re: Bugger It, I'll Make This A Oneshot Thread

Post by Munchenhausen » Sat Mar 22, 2014 5:02 am

It's firmly lodged in my headcanon that Lilly's Dad is Cpt. MacMillan from CoD4.
Simply because Scottish.
Yeah.


Lilly's Aunt's wake dies down as family and friends depart. Soon, there aren't many people left. Those that stayed include me, my fiancé and her father.

"So, Hisao, Chernobyl? What'd ya do there?"

"Oh, umm, I went with the University research team to study the radioactive levels in and around Reactor 4," I pull my phone from my pocket and pull up a few photos of me and the university team I went with, all clad in Radiation suits. Lilly's father looks less than impressed.

"Is tha' it?"

An awkward silence befalls us three.
"...What do y-"

"When I went to Pripyat, we didn't ha' any o' them fancy-schmancy hazmat suits! None o' this "SAFETY equipment"! All I had were an M21, a feckin' GHILLIE SUIT and a damn good Spotter!"

"Dad, please..." Lilly chimes in, but is overridden by a rant of 'the good old days'

"...an aboot a hundred ruskies a piece!"

Startled by his outburst, I slide my phone cautiously into my pocket.
"...Mr Satou, can I ask what you were doing in Chernobyl?"

"Tha's Mr MacMillan t'you. Oh, and tha's classified, lad. Classified until long after me death,"

"..."
"..."
"..."

"I told him it were a wild dog. He shot it anyway. Crazy bastard, he was."
Last edited by Munchenhausen on Sun Jul 06, 2014 6:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon

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