After the Dream—Emi's Arc/Akiko's Story (Complete)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by dewelar » Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:25 am

Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!

...

And just a little bit beautiful, too...

No other comment, for now.

Well, okay, one more. Part 6 actually got to me a lot more than this one, because I knew what was coming. Now, I need to finish up my own next chapter before I read whatever's coming next. Yeah, these things happen.

Edit: Okay, a bigger second one more...not sure I buy Emi giving up in quite that way. The whole thing with just passing the kids off to Shizune like that...gah. So many mixed feelings.
Last edited by dewelar on Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:30 am

dewelar wrote:Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!

...

And just a little bit beautiful, too...

No other comment, for now.

Well, okay, one more. Part 6 actually got to me a lot more than this one, because I knew what was coming. Now, I need to finish up my own next chapter before I read whatever's coming next. Yeah, these things happen.
It was my pleasure, and I hope to read your own next chapter too. There will be a real break now if Rin gets me first. Hanako has decided to be less demanding, and Misha is uncharacteristically patient. :)

Edit: I don't think Emi saw it as giving up. That's the problem. It was unpleasant for me to write. :(
Last edited by brythain on Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by dewelar » Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:34 am

brythain wrote:
dewelar wrote:Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!

...

And just a little bit beautiful, too...

No other comment, for now.

Well, okay, one more. Part 6 actually got to me a lot more than this one, because I knew what was coming. Now, I need to finish up my own next chapter before I read whatever's coming next. Yeah, these things happen.
It was my pleasure, and I hope to read your own next chapter too. There will be a real break now if Rin gets me first. Hanako has decided to be less demanding, and Misha is uncharacteristically patient. :)
This cross-posted with an edit to my previous comment, so...yeah, I'll be sleeping on this one.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

bhtooefr
Posts: 1353
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:20 pm
Location: Newark, OH
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by bhtooefr » Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:41 am

Wait, was it suicide (via medication?) or her body creatively "giving up"? :?

The other thing is, she was leaving her kids without either parent, when she was incredibly scarred by losing just her father. Talk about selfish, even if she did arrange for them to get a "replacement" parent.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:58 am

bhtooefr wrote:Wait, was it suicide (via medication?) or her body creatively "giving up"? :?

The other thing is, she was leaving her kids without either parent, when she was incredibly scarred by losing just her father. Talk about selfish, even if she did arrange for them to get a "replacement" parent.
I think it's self-absorption. If you're broken, you might not be able to see the interests of others, specifically or generally. But one doesn't have to portray the broken as entirely and ruinously so — sometimes they're just broken in one or two key ways. (Edit: sorry, trying to avoid spoilers for other arcs.)

"Was (s)he free? Was (s)he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard." — Auden, 'The Unknown Citizen'
Last edited by brythain on Wed Mar 12, 2014 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by dewelar » Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:30 pm

brythain wrote:
dewelar wrote:Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!

...

And just a little bit beautiful, too...

No other comment, for now.

Well, okay, one more. Part 6 actually got to me a lot more than this one, because I knew what was coming. Now, I need to finish up my own next chapter before I read whatever's coming next. Yeah, these things happen.
It was my pleasure, and I hope to read your own next chapter too. There will be a real break now if Rin gets me first. Hanako has decided to be less demanding, and Misha is uncharacteristically patient. :)
I've made quite the dent in Ch.36 over the last 48 hours or so, so definitely no more than a few more days (how's that for vague?).
Okay, a bigger second one more...not sure I buy Emi giving up in quite that way. The whole thing with just passing the kids off to Shizune like that...gah. So many mixed feelings.
Edit: I don't think Emi saw it as giving up. That's the problem. It was unpleasant for me to write. :(
Yeah, actually, this wasn't where she gave up. She gave up quite some time ago, but waited until here to admit it to herself. That part, at least, is quite believable. And yes, she did dedicate large portions of her life to being able to help Hisao stay alive for as long as possible, so this had to really do a number on her. Still...this is more something I could see her doing once her kids are old enough to take care of themselves rather than in the +6. That kind of quasi-intentional act would take a lot more than "mild depression", I would think (with the caveat that she's good at hiding that kind of thing).

So...gah, still with the mixed feelings :|.

One other thing that does begin to bother me is that it looks like Hisao is going to get his Harem Ending in the afterlife. Boo.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:43 pm

dewelar wrote:One other thing that does begin to bother me is that it looks like Hisao is going to get his Harem Ending in the afterlife. Boo.
No… they're all different Hisaos. :) In their final moments, Shizune thinks of his hand, Emi thinks of their runs together, Lilly thinks of his voice, and so on. I've intentionally avoided theological implications here, and it makes sense to me. They get very different endings, in a way.

I have to add that Lilly's neutral ending, to me, has always seemed like the most 'fairy tale with no happily ever after' version. It provokes the 'if not, then what' response even more than the other non-endings. And I still don't have a good answer to that. Right now, Hanako is messing with my brains even more than Rin is.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by dewelar » Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:56 pm

brythain wrote:
dewelar wrote:One other thing that does begin to bother me is that it looks like Hisao is going to get his Harem Ending in the afterlife. Boo.
No… they're all different Hisaos. :) In their final moments, Shizune thinks of his hand, Emi thinks of their runs together, Lilly thinks of his voice, and so on. I've intentionally avoided theological implications here, and it makes sense to me. They get very different endings, in a way.
*nods* Hence "looks like". I get so many Harem Ending jokes on the Developments thread I thought I'd bring one over here :wink:.
I have to add that Lilly's neutral ending, to me, has always seemed like the most 'fairy tale with no happily ever after' version. It provokes the 'if not, then what' response even more than the other non-endings.
Definitely. Also, Lilly's non-good ending has many more open threads left than any of the others, and it even involves all four of the other heroines at some point, which also isn't true of the others. That's why I was so surprised to see that it had launched so few stories.
And I still don't have a good answer to that.
That's why we write this stuff, though, isn't it? :D
Right now, Hanako is messing with my brains even more than Rin is.
Yeah, she's good at that. Getting into Hanako-space is a bear for me sometimes.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
Frankyo
Posts: 37
Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:49 am

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by Frankyo » Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:23 pm

Wow. That was something. The feeling of unable to help Emi get through all this bullshit in her life...
Now I need to read a story where Hisao lives to be really old.

Anyways, I'll read all your Arcs to the bitter end and I can't wait to see how you write Misha.
Girls: Hanako/Misha > Lilly > Emi > Shizune/Rin
Routes: I realized that every route has its own charms, but felt that Shizune's was lacklustre. It has Misha though!

"No masters or kings, when the ritual begins"

User avatar
Oscar Wildecat
Posts: 477
Joined: Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:28 pm
Location: A short drive west of Kingdom Come.

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Wed Mar 12, 2014 8:02 pm

Ouch. Poor Emi. Literally ran herself to death.

I've actually heard of stress and grief-based heart attacks before -- it's called stress cardiomyopathy or takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Acute stress/grief triggers the attack, and its (usually) not fatal. (Mom dealt with this a while ago.)
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain
“Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.” - Winston Churchill
Checkout SordidEuphemism's Logo Thread.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 12, 2014 8:26 pm

Frankyo wrote:Wow. That was something. The feeling of unable to help Emi get through all this bullshit in her life...
Now I need to read a story where Hisao lives to be really old.

Anyways, I'll read all your Arcs to the bitter end and I can't wait to see how you write Misha.
Thanks! Misha is peering over my shoulder trying to figure out what's happening. She likes that she gets to see everybody else's arc first. :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: After the Dream—Emi's Arc (Complete)

Post by brythain » Wed Mar 12, 2014 8:32 pm

Oscar Wildecat wrote:Ouch. Poor Emi. Literally ran herself to death.

I've actually heard of stress and grief-based heart attacks before -- it's called stress cardiomyopathy or takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Acute stress/grief triggers the attack, and its (usually) not fatal. (Mom dealt with this a while ago.)
Uncanny. Glad your mother had a positive outcome! I was debating with myself the degree of technical detail I should use when presenting Emi's fatal left ventricular dysfunction. I went for poetic, but I suspect that people want to know more, and perhaps I should try to edit that in. I think she knew she was going to go, hence the note. I should go ask Emi. :)

Edit1:

Emi scrunches up her face. "You know, it really was a broken heart. I mean, I'm sure everyone would have liked me to be invincible, and I thought I was too. But I couldn't just keep missing him all the time and yet be Incredible Ibarazaki to everyone else. People think of me as a teenager, but I had a career and two kids and I held it together for a while. What I'm happy about was that I had time to write a note for Nurse. Heh, best joke ever. 'Sides, it freed him to finally hook up with Mom."

She chuckles wistfully, and I try to work up enough courage to ask her about the afterlife.

Her tongue darts out of her mouth. She laughs at my surprise. "So predictable. Come on, you think I'd tell you about that? Go ask Rin!"

And then the room is empty again.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3496
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Interlude (20140509)

Post by brythain » Fri May 09, 2014 2:50 am

"The anniversary was four days ago, you know."

I open my eyes. Her voice is clear and sharp, slightly nasal. This is middle-aged Emi, with the ponytail and Olympian physique.

"Anniversary?"

"5th May, the day my heart gave way," she says in a sing-song voice.

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Emi. I've no meaningful excuses for that."

"It's okay. Would've been nice to get some recognition, though. Even my most hardcore fans are looking elsewhere."

I don't think that's true. Until the end of time (or internet forums), Emi will always have her fans. But she's beginning to use the pout-weapon that no man can resist for long.

"Is there something you'd like me to write?"

"No. Yes. Well, maybe."

"Errm…?"

She looks at me shyly. "Well, could you write something more about how our kids turned out? I kinda missed that part."

Aww, I think to myself. That's really sad.

"Give me some time, Emi. I'll have to ask around so I can get a better grasp of their stories."

"No problem, author! Seeya round!"

And then she's off, like a bolt of lightning.

=====
This one's for SpunkySix. Keep the faith, man. :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
SpunkySix
Posts: 2858
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 11:03 pm
Location: Lost in thought... somewhere.

Re: Interlude (20140509)

Post by SpunkySix » Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:12 pm

brythain wrote:This one's for SpunkySix. Keep the faith, man. :)
Okay... I told myself that I'd wait to read this stuff after I finished all of the canon routes, and that I'd read Developments first, (which I still plan to do after reading said routes) but I just sort of wandered in here and ended up reading it all on a whim and... holy shit, that was beautiful. Tragic, but pretty. Sort of like life. I'm tearing up a little bit as I type this.

Thank you very much. And you tell Emi with your authorial mind link that at least one fan hasn't forgotten.
"Spunky at his Spunkyest/Spunkiest"
"Tissues to the extreme!"

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: Interlude (20140509)

Post by dewelar » Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:32 pm

SpunkySix wrote:
brythain wrote:This one's for SpunkySix. Keep the faith, man. :)
Okay... I told myself that I'd wait to read this stuff after I finished all of the canon routes, and that I'd read Developments first, (which I still plan to do after reading said routes) but I just sort of wandered in here and ended up reading it all on a whim and... holy shit, that was beautiful. Tragic, but pretty. Sort of like life. I'm tearing up a little bit as I type this.

Thank you very much. And you tell Emi with your authorial mind link that at least one fan hasn't forgotten.
I cannot for a moment begrudge you wanting to read this first. It's good stuff (and I am honored to have been part of the...er...development team on this ;-) ).
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

Post Reply