Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

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Razoredge
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Location: Bordeaux, France

Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Razoredge » Sun Dec 06, 2020 11:54 am

When I see a Natsume fic, I'm happy. I'm not very fond of the writing, I have to say, but so far, it's not too shabby. It's a bit forced, yeah, a bit akward too, and yes, writing an article about the new student would be really akward.

That being said, that was quite a fun read. Waaaaaaay better than the last 4 ones. In fact, everything is better than the last 4 ones.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

Fourthsubset66
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Fourthsubset66 » Sun Dec 20, 2020 4:51 pm

I feel like this wasn't too bad. Maybe forced in some places so it didn't exactly feel natural but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

I don't think I have seen a completed Natsume or Naomi fic out there though so I can't really compare this to anything :(

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woohootouhou
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by woohootouhou » Sat Jan 02, 2021 11:26 am

The first part was quite a bit better than the second. Felt a lot more natural both with the characters and general pacing.

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Red Fish Blue Fish)

Post by Oddball » Sat Jan 02, 2021 11:42 am

Image


It's the first book club of the New Year. Hooray! Hope everyone had a nice one.

To start things off with, we're going to look at something special. Me.
(Or rather, I story I wrote.)

What a perfect way to start the new year, right?

:D

Red Fish Blue Fish by Oddball.

This story features Lilly and Akira when they were younger.
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Razoredge
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Location: Bordeaux, France

Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Razoredge » Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:49 pm

This was so cute. I love pieces like that, about the characters childhood. Some sisters action is what I needed, I don't even know why, but I needed it. This was wonderfully made, you did a really great job. Thanks for that, really, I mean it. It was great.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by Oddball » Fri Jan 22, 2021 10:27 pm

Image

... Okay, so apparently people DIDN'T want to start the new year by reading some Oddball. That's fine. I'm okay. :cry:



So maybe people will be happier with this classic.
It's listed on the forum here as
This Is Not Canon but is perhaps better known as A Runner’s Afternoon

It's by Cpl Crud, and shows as future take on Hisao and Hanako. While it's not exactly positive, it still feels realistic in ways that only the devs ever really handle the KS cast.

There is also a part two written on Crud's blog posted two years after the first part if you want to track it down.
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BristerXD
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210104 Red Fish Blue Fish)

Post by BristerXD » Fri Jan 22, 2021 11:34 pm

I remember reading this on his blog only a while ago actually. I think he mentioned it on the MattyD manly picnic and so I sought it out. I mean, what else can I say but he proves that the entirety of Hanako's route wasn't just some big fluke or the product of editors.

I think what I like most about the piece is the banality of it all. It's played so straight and grounded, it really lets me feel the conversation the two characters have as it feels like I've had this exact same conversation with people in my own life. I think that's the piece's main strength. I like the breaking of the text, keeps a brisk pace and uses every word perfectly. No wasted space. Overall, not much to say but, the man who wrote the thing that fucked me up when I was younger isn't a hack fraud. Maybe there is a God.

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woohootouhou
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by woohootouhou » Sun Jan 24, 2021 10:28 am

This is about how I would expect an epilogue to a neutral ending would go. Very nice to read, and is open ended enough that it gives a nice satisfying conclusion while also letting your imagination have some space. Also about how I would expect the characters to act after a few years, although that's not surprising given who the author is.

I forgot to check back earlier this month, but for what it's worth the previous story is one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for Akira anyways, but it's still great and the childhood versions of the characters are adorable.

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Chatty Wheeler
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by Chatty Wheeler » Sun Jan 24, 2021 5:48 pm

Quite an interesting take on a possible epilogue to Hanako's route. I read both parts on Crud's blog, and I really enjoyed both. Short, effective, and very well written. Crud definitely has writing chops to spare. Everything else that I could say has already been said by BristerXD and woohootouhou, so I'll just leave it at that!

Take care, everyone.

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