Yamaku Book Club (20200427 Two Flat Jokes)

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Oddball » Tue Jan 16, 2018 4:30 pm

It strikes me as more odd that Hisao and Lilly seem to be in the same class for PE than anything else.

Personally, I love going back and looking at the really old stuff. You get a sense of what the story could have been and how things have changed. I remember Lilly being really into music in some of the earlier material. Still, I don't think this was too far away from the final versions.

As for why I started out with this one... well, I just wanted to start with a story on the very first page of the fanfic section and the title caught my eye. You won't be getting all old stuff like this.
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Riakai
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Riakai » Tue Jan 16, 2018 5:45 pm

It was fun? Awkward though, I suppose. The dialogue was very cut/proper, especially for Hisao but even for Lilly at times. I audibly snorted at Hisao's "melodious tunes" comment.

Part of why it might've felt so stilted to me was the fact the characters have different personalities now compared to...well, then. Not a bad piece though. Could see it being a scene in the VN if a different direction was taken character wise, definitely.
[Innumerable Fits]
The Naomi Inoue Pseudo-Route.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Jan 16, 2018 5:47 pm

That story was written more than a year before even Act 1 was out, so Hisao and Lilly being in the same class was not an unreasonable thing to assume.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Oddball » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am

Before I continue, let me toss out a few questions and gets some feedback.

On update frequency, i was thinking a week for any one-shot story, 2 weeks for anything 5 chapters or shorter (give or take) and if we ever do one of those mega huge long stories, at least a month for the main story, while we do short one-shots at the same time.

For the time being though, I want to focus on one-shots and short stories just until we get back into the groove. Everybody cool with that?

How do people feel about reading current ongoing stories or stories that were abandoned?
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brythain
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by brythain » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:24 am

I'm happy. I'm even happy to re-read stories if you feel that's warranted. I'll just keep updating the discussion list, unless you want to take over the thread entirely, which is how I ended up inheriting it. But I'll be around to handle the index updates etc if you want that.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Oddball » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:35 am

I'll let you keep up with the records for now.

You can be secretary of the club. :wink:

Now we have two official titles. It's almost like a real club now.

Also, if anybody is curious how I pick stories, i use a random number generator to give me a page, choose three or four titles that catch my attention on that page, and then just skim the beginning and the comments to see if it catches my attention.
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StilesLong
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by StilesLong » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:45 am

Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am
On update frequency, i was thinking a week for any one-shot story, 2 weeks for anything 5 chapters or shorter (give or take) and if we ever do one of those mega huge long stories, at least a month for the main story, while we do short one-shots at the same time.
Seems reasonable to me, though I feel like weekly reminders (Keep up to date with your reading!) might be helpful when we're committing to longer reads.
Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am
For the time being though, I want to focus on one-shots and short stories just until we get back into the groove. Everybody cool with that?
That makes sense to me. We wouldn't want to scare anyone away with commitment this early on.
Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am
How do people feel about reading current ongoing stories or stories that were abandoned?
I feel like a once-a-month focus on a current/recently updated story might be fun. Something that didn't get much attention, y'know? Otherwise, I wouldn't put the spotlight on current productions (at least, not without permission) lest we put pressure on some poor writer...

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Craftyatom
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Craftyatom » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:17 pm

Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am
On update frequency, i was thinking a week for any one-shot story, 2 weeks for anything 5 chapters or shorter (give or take) and if we ever do one of those mega huge long stories, at least a month for the main story, while we do short one-shots at the same time.

For the time being though, I want to focus on one-shots and short stories just until we get back into the groove. Everybody cool with that?
Sounds good to me, those timings seem ample, which should help include more readers. I would like to have some longer stuff on our list eventually, but can understand starting with one-shots.
Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 am
How do people feel about reading current ongoing stories or stories that were abandoned?
I'm fine reading abandoned stories - I quite enjoyed at least one of those earlier on in the book club's history - but would say that we shouldn't read ongoing work. A story should be definitively at its end, one way or another, before the book club gets a shot at it. Keep in mind that, for an ongoing or recent story, readers can comment directly on the story's thread, so in that case the book club's importance is diminished.

Then the question becomes "how dead is dead?", and that's more subjective. Stories that haven't been updated (or spoken about by the author) for a year are generally fair game, although authors have returned from longer hiatuses before. The line is a bit blurred. I'd argue that we should keep well away from it, focusing on the deeper past, but I wouldn't necessarily oppose fics that are more recently dead, so long as an argument can be made that they really are done for.
Oddball wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:35 am
Now we have two official titles. It's almost like a real club now.
I'd argue that I technically have an official title as well. In order to defend said title from potential usurpers, I've gone ahead and made an updated banner, which fits the new theme (colors will match the first post):
Image
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Brief Exchanges, Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Oddball » Sun Jan 21, 2018 8:13 pm

Last week we went old. This week we'll go with something more more recent... if you consider October 2016 more recent.

What happened? - Shizune sad ending by danbuter
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StilesLong
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by StilesLong » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:11 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:09 pm
Whelp...

You managed to make a sad end even sadder - Congratulations, I guess :-)
I think Mirage sums it up best, in terms of its plot and contribution to the EU. It explores the aftermath well and paints a concise picture of how Shizune might have felt, and it does it well.

I noticed there was little to no descriptive flair in this fic and I think it's better off without it; metaphors and analogies don't seem to fit too much into Shizune's world. Nor would they work well with what the author seemed to be trying to achieve: an emotional sucker-punch.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:14 am

And I still stand by that. :-)
Too bad it remained the only comment in that thread. Maybe people were too depressed to comment?

In the discussions of Shizune's route the question of whether or not Shizune knew about "the comforting" has been raised numerous times. Personally I've always been in the "no" camp, but there's really not enough in the VN to definitely say either way - and that was probably intentional.

This story is also going with a strong "no" on that question, but maybe it's a bit much to assume that Shizune does not have a single suspicion about what happened. She is quite intelligent after all.

Regarding Misha I think she'd break down and confess everything if confronted by Shizune that way, rather than running away, but that's also open to interpretation.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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brythain
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by brythain » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:17 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:14 am
Too bad it remained the only comment in that thread. Maybe people were too depressed to comment?
I think it was a good vignette, but needed editing to make it tighter. The point about vignettes is that they're short and have no spare fat. This one was like a scene from a longer piece (which in a sense it was, like an out-take from KS itself). The problem with such out-takes is that to fully appreciate them you have to go back, in this case to the Shizune bad ending again (with the sitting on the step, and the purple cat, all in horrible perspective).

In short: I liked it, but not enough to feel more than a touch of melancholy.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

ProfAllister
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by ProfAllister » Tue Jan 23, 2018 5:37 pm

It's an interesting bit. My biggest objection is that it doesn't really line up with the canon bad end - a key point is that Shizune decides that she needs to be away. In fact, my impression was a further bit that she was taking Jigoro up on his offer for the family trip to get away and clear her head.

With a little tweaking, it could be talking about her mental state in the lead-up to the bad end. Or the ever possible "scenes from an alternate bad ending".
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:14 am
In the discussions of Shizune's route the question of whether or not Shizune knew about "the comforting" has been raised numerous times. Personally I've always been in the "no" camp, but there's really not enough in the VN to definitely say either way - and that was probably intentional.
Since you bring it up, may as well throw in my two cents: whether or not Shizune knew is irrelevant. She sees the breakdown everywhere else, because there is no one thing that breaks down - it's all falling apart. Were Shizune to learn about Hisao and Misha's infidelity, I imagine her reaction would be less "How could you do this?" and more "That explains a lot."

Not to derail the discussion, as this is tangentially related, but it is my opinion that one of the more frustrating or criticised aspects of Shizune's ending is actually among the most brilliant - the progression to Good End and Bad End is nearly identical, but with slight, subtle differences - often only a word or two, or a stray thought. But those minor changes alter the tone in a significant way.

Also, from what I've heard about and from A22, I am 100% certain that the ambiguity was entirely intentional.
Current Project: Misha Pseudo-Route

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Craftyatom
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Craftyatom » Tue Jan 23, 2018 9:35 pm

I won't go into how this contrasts with the canon, because it's not my strong point. This leaves me with not much to talk about, given how short the story was.

It was certainly sad, no doubt about that. The initial part about Shizune trying to get something out of Misha was so-so, not really that bad. The author cranked it up with Hisao. Shizune thinks Hisao is misunderstanding or underestimating her, so she tries to prove herself to him. Hisao ignores her, hoping that what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Repeat. Shizune feels horrible because no matter what she does, Hisao won't open up to her. Hisao feels horrible because Shizune is doing so much, trying so hard, for nothing - even if he gave in and told her, it wouldn't make her feel any better.

I kind of wanted to see this cycle play out a bit longer. Something has to give, and in this case, it was Shizune, who just kind of gave up. However, I think the story could've gone further: Shizune keeps pressing, and Hisao is forced to try and justify his silence on the issue, lest Shizune give him more things he doesn't deserve. They both get more staunch on their own positions and energetic about breaking each other. I think, in such a situation, Hisao would break first, and spectacularly. Could've made for a much more interesting (and heartbreaking) ending.

As is, it was decent. Syntax was fine, but it should be in something so small. The vocalization part was really quite heart-rending, but otherwise, just a regular sad story.
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Brief Exchanges, Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20180114 'Some Lilly Scene' by Lulz)

Post by Oddball » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:37 am

The story was a quick gut punch to me. It was short but it hurt. Not a lot of substance there, but it did it's job.

I really would have liked to see a follow up on it or a second chapter just to see the idea given the room to breathe that it deserved.


...



So, the next story we've got up on our book club is ...

Constant Companion by darrin

... I feel like I should have an image or logo or something to announce new posts. Anybody want to make me one or have any suggestions?
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