Yamaku Book Club (20210215 You And I Both)

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Razoredge
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Razoredge » Sun Dec 06, 2020 11:54 am

When I see a Natsume fic, I'm happy. I'm not very fond of the writing, I have to say, but so far, it's not too shabby. It's a bit forced, yeah, a bit akward too, and yes, writing an article about the new student would be really akward.

That being said, that was quite a fun read. Waaaaaaay better than the last 4 ones. In fact, everything is better than the last 4 ones.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

Fourthsubset66
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Fourthsubset66 » Sun Dec 20, 2020 4:51 pm

I feel like this wasn't too bad. Maybe forced in some places so it didn't exactly feel natural but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

I don't think I have seen a completed Natsume or Naomi fic out there though so I can't really compare this to anything :(

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woohootouhou
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by woohootouhou » Sat Jan 02, 2021 11:26 am

The first part was quite a bit better than the second. Felt a lot more natural both with the characters and general pacing.

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Red Fish Blue Fish)

Post by Oddball » Sat Jan 02, 2021 11:42 am

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It's the first book club of the New Year. Hooray! Hope everyone had a nice one.

To start things off with, we're going to look at something special. Me.
(Or rather, I story I wrote.)

What a perfect way to start the new year, right?

:D

Red Fish Blue Fish by Oddball.

This story features Lilly and Akira when they were younger.
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Razoredge
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20201207 The Ooe Way—A Natsume Fic)

Post by Razoredge » Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:49 pm

This was so cute. I love pieces like that, about the characters childhood. Some sisters action is what I needed, I don't even know why, but I needed it. This was wonderfully made, you did a really great job. Thanks for that, really, I mean it. It was great.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by Oddball » Fri Jan 22, 2021 10:27 pm

Image

... Okay, so apparently people DIDN'T want to start the new year by reading some Oddball. That's fine. I'm okay. :cry:



So maybe people will be happier with this classic.
It's listed on the forum here as
This Is Not Canon but is perhaps better known as A Runner’s Afternoon

It's by Cpl Crud, and shows as future take on Hisao and Hanako. While it's not exactly positive, it still feels realistic in ways that only the devs ever really handle the KS cast.

There is also a part two written on Crud's blog posted two years after the first part if you want to track it down.
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BristerXD
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210104 Red Fish Blue Fish)

Post by BristerXD » Fri Jan 22, 2021 11:34 pm

I remember reading this on his blog only a while ago actually. I think he mentioned it on the MattyD manly picnic and so I sought it out. I mean, what else can I say but he proves that the entirety of Hanako's route wasn't just some big fluke or the product of editors.

I think what I like most about the piece is the banality of it all. It's played so straight and grounded, it really lets me feel the conversation the two characters have as it feels like I've had this exact same conversation with people in my own life. I think that's the piece's main strength. I like the breaking of the text, keeps a brisk pace and uses every word perfectly. No wasted space. Overall, not much to say but, the man who wrote the thing that fucked me up when I was younger isn't a hack fraud. Maybe there is a God.

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woohootouhou
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by woohootouhou » Sun Jan 24, 2021 10:28 am

This is about how I would expect an epilogue to a neutral ending would go. Very nice to read, and is open ended enough that it gives a nice satisfying conclusion while also letting your imagination have some space. Also about how I would expect the characters to act after a few years, although that's not surprising given who the author is.

I forgot to check back earlier this month, but for what it's worth the previous story is one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for Akira anyways, but it's still great and the childhood versions of the characters are adorable.

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Chatty Wheeler
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by Chatty Wheeler » Sun Jan 24, 2021 5:48 pm

Quite an interesting take on a possible epilogue to Hanako's route. I read both parts on Crud's blog, and I really enjoyed both. Short, effective, and very well written. Crud definitely has writing chops to spare. Everything else that I could say has already been said by BristerXD and woohootouhou, so I'll just leave it at that!

Take care, everyone.

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NoticeMeOppai
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210125 A Runner's Afternoon)

Post by NoticeMeOppai » Wed Feb 03, 2021 10:46 am

Don't be salty Oddball it doesn't suit you :P - besides I haven't really read much at ALL this year so far!

Red Fish Blue Fish
Very cute little piece, I love the image of Hisao looking at this bizarre child's painting with no context and wondering what's going on. The flashbacks were adorable, Akira is a good big sis.

A Runner's Afternoon
A nice piece with a great gut punch of an ending - slightly wish I hadn't gone off and read the second part now as while it was still really well written and evocative I think I preferred not knowing the full explanation.
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Oddball
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (You and I Both)

Post by Oddball » Fri Feb 12, 2021 12:02 pm

Image

This time we take a look at something by a fan favorite author here on the forum.
You And I Both (Shizune)by Scissorlips.

This isn't Scissorlips most famous story, but it's a nice one to look at. It presents us with a slightly more emotional and open Shizune that we get in the game, but there's still something about her that feels stiff and distant. I'm not the biggest Shizune fan so I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

The prize she requests for winning is also. It could be seen as quite emotional, but there something about the way she presents it that still comes across as all business. It's an interesting read.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210215 You And I Both)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Feb 13, 2021 1:07 pm

Not sure if I would classify the ending of A Runner's Afternoon as "downer" or a gut punch.
Hisao never gives the impression of being particularly unhappy with his life, even if we don't learn much about his social life.
I'd give higher odds of Hanako being dissatisfied with her position in life, or she wouldn't have agreed to spending the night with Hisao.

As for You and I both I find the image of Shizune proposing to climb trees as a competition quite hilarious. Other than that a nice, short story.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Hacksorus
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210215 You And I Both)

Post by Hacksorus » Mon Feb 15, 2021 9:39 pm

Oddball wrote:
Fri Jan 22, 2021 10:27 pm
... Okay, so apparently people DIDN'T want to start the new year by reading some Oddball. That's fine. I'm okay. :cry:
Awww, you deserve better than that. For my part, my online university education has left me quite burned out on reading, analyzing, and responding to text, so I haven't been as active on here as I wanted. I quite liked this work of yours. I've always been fascinated by how the fundamental sensations of being alive might be different to a person who lacks one of the main senses from birth. Like that great scene in Lilly's route where she talks about how she feels about certain colors and why, here we have those unique experiences wrapped up in endearing character moments. Great interactions between Lilly and Akira in this fic.

As for our most recent story, I'll admit that when I saw the formatting on You And I Both I thought "Oh no. This is going to suck, isn't it?" But aside from being a bit tricky to read at times for that reason, it was a neat little take on Shizune. I don't think Shizune is really any more emotional or open here than usual, she definitely doesn't hesitate to show a bit of that side of her to her friends after she gets a bit closer to them. I could feel a bit of the awkwardness and frustration Hisao felt here, trying to describe sounds to a deaf person in a language you're not very good at doesn't sound too fun. Overall, nice quick read.

I'm definitely on the team of finding A Runner's Afternoon to be quite depressing, but that's probably more on me than the story itself. Back when I first read it, I was a reclusive teenager with a crush on Hanako who would basically try to self-insert himself into the role of Hisao, so I understandably would not have been terribly elated by the outcome :lol:. But even putting my own silly angst aside, both Hisao and Hanako in that story give me the impression that they really wish their lives had gone in different directions. Of course, I consider a work successful if it manages to draw out any kind of intense emotion from me, good or bad, so this is certainly a good one.

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woohootouhou
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (20210215 You And I Both)

Post by woohootouhou » Fri Feb 26, 2021 12:44 am

I really like the interactions between Hisao and Shizune in this. I hate the formatting though. It's a bit depressing, but honestly not that much so compared to a lot of other works.

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