Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/10/14)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 12:51 am

Hotkey wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:Dad gives me a noogie and whispers to me.
“You did good, son.”
This bit really cracks me up.

"You dun' gud there, ma boy."
*Noogie* *Noogie* *Noogie*



I'm looking forward to this story, but what's going on? Is this a time loop threadtale? If so... mind = blown!
I just cracked up over that! That accent thing you added in did it. :lol: :lol:

And yeah, basically. Although others aren't so fond of the idea because it "destroys the immersion" or what have you. If i get another vote that it does, I'll take it out, then. Which will basically mean there is only going to be one part of the story, which means I'm gonna have to remap the whole second half of the story.
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3528
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by brythain » Sat May 10, 2014 1:00 am

JohnnyTruant wrote:I just cracked up over that! That accent thing you added in did it. :lol: :lol:

And yeah, basically. Although others aren't so fond of the idea because it "destroys the immersion" or what have you. If i get another vote that it does, I'll take it out, then. Which will basically mean there is only going to be one part of the story, which means I'm gonna have to remap the whole second half of the story.
Only if you want to, of course. My opinion, for what it's worth, is that characters have to sound fairly realistic. A bit more Asian and less middle American.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

Silentcook
Carelessly Cooking You
Posts: 2529
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:22 am
Location: Imola, Italy

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by Silentcook » Sat May 10, 2014 4:10 am

JohnnyTruant wrote:Ok, so here's the thing. How do I double space on here because I double spaced the Word document, then pasted it here and it didn't double space. I need to know because I'm sure as hell not gonna sit here and manually double space after I pasted the thing over.

Also, I believe the immolation thing was an error on my part. I meant to put a different word. I don't recall what it was though lol.
Silentcook wrote:>Using Word
>Why not just use SatanicProcessorWhoEatsKittens.lcf


More seriously, the formatting of Word and Google docs is... not very compatible with the forums' BBcode formatting. You're in for a lot of headaches if you expect to port things straight.
Additionally, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your other troubles were related to Word as well. Hint: auto-completion.

Your solution is: use Notepad or Wordpad instead.
Shattering your dreams since '94.

Image

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 1:28 pm

Silentcook wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:Ok, so here's the thing. How do I double space on here because I double spaced the Word document, then pasted it here and it didn't double space. I need to know because I'm sure as hell not gonna sit here and manually double space after I pasted the thing over.

Also, I believe the immolation thing was an error on my part. I meant to put a different word. I don't recall what it was though lol.
Silentcook wrote:>Using Word
>Why not just use SatanicProcessorWhoEatsKittens.lcf


More seriously, the formatting of Word and Google docs is... not very compatible with the forums' BBcode formatting. You're in for a lot of headaches if you expect to port things straight.
Additionally, I wouldn't be at all surprised if your other troubles were related to Word as well. Hint: auto-completion.

Your solution is: use Notepad or Wordpad instead.
This would work, if it actually, you know, worked.

I just spent the last hour looking for any BB codes that would double space, no such luck. Please, there's gotta be a way around this. :cry: :x
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3528
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: East Asia
Contact:

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by brythain » Sat May 10, 2014 1:34 pm

JohnnyTruant wrote:I just spent the last hour looking for any BB codes that would double space, no such luck. Please, there's gotta be a way around this. :cry: :x
Yes, you could spend an hour inserting lines between your paragraphs. It would be faster...
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 1:38 pm

brythain wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:I just spent the last hour looking for any BB codes that would double space, no such luck. Please, there's gotta be a way around this. :cry: :x
Yes, you could spend an hour inserting lines between your paragraphs. It would be faster...
Wait, you mean "inserting lines between your paragraphs" like:

My father interrupts the laughter.
“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment.”
He begins to make his way towards the restrooms.
An epiphany has arisen in my mind. It’s very precipitous, sure, but I’ve NEVER been so sure about anything before in my life.
[Follow your heart/Bottle up newfound inspiration]
[Follow your heart]

“You’ll have to excuse me too, for a moment.”
My senior and I enter the men’s restroom, and I take a deep breath, commence on my monologue.
“Hey Dad, I need to ask a favor of you…”

or like:

My father interrupts the laughter.

“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment.”

He begins to make his way towards the restrooms.

An epiphany has arisen in my mind. It’s very precipitous, sure, but I’ve NEVER been so sure about anything before in my life.

[Follow your heart/Bottle up newfound inspiration]

[Follow your heart]

“You’ll have to excuse me too, for a moment.”

My senior and I enter the men’s restroom, and I take a deep breath, commence on my monologue.

“Hey Dad, I need to ask a favor of you…”

If the second, to hell with that.
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by dewelar » Sat May 10, 2014 1:53 pm

Actually, more like:
My father interrupts the laughter. "You’ll have to excuse me for a moment," he says, making his way towards the restrooms. As he departs, an epiphany enters my mind. It’s very precipitous, sure, but I’ve NEVER been so sure about anything before in my life.

[Follow your heart/Bottle up newfound inspiration]
[Follow your heart]

“You’ll have to excuse me too, for a moment.”

My senior and I enter the men’s restroom, and I take a deep breath, commence on my monologue. "Hey Dad, I need to ask a favor of you…"
JohnnyTruant wrote:If the second, to hell with that.
You realize that you just said "the hell with making my story more readable", thus losing the interest of a good chunk of your potential readership (including me), right?
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 2:02 pm

dewelar wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:If the second, to hell with that.
You realize that you just said "the hell with making my story more readable", thus losing the interest of a good chunk of your potential readership (including me), right?
But here's the thing, I don't have the time in my life to separate EVERY line in the whole damn story. Writing the Chapters takes long enough plus the proofreading and editing process. I have a life. The Chapters are at least 3,000 words a piece, and there are gonna be at least 18 Chapters to this. Don't blame me for my VERY reasonable laziness, blame the BB code writers and the website admins for not creating a custom code for double spacing to cover up for the original BB code writers' laziness. I understand how tough it is to write custom codes (I know basic to intermediate Java programming and basic HTML programming), but that's like half of the original BB code writers' faults as well.
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by dewelar » Sat May 10, 2014 2:09 pm

JohnnyTruant wrote:
dewelar wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:If the second, to hell with that.
You realize that you just said "the hell with making my story more readable", thus losing the interest of a good chunk of your potential readership (including me), right?
But here's the thing, I don't have the time in my life to separate EVERY line in the damn whole story.
Did you look at the example I provided? It has seven line breaks. Your original, single-spaced one had ten. Longer paragraphs (or, really, paragraphs) help.

In any case, don't worry about how long it takes to do. From my experience, people on this board are more interested in something taking a longer time if it means better quality than something rushed out just for the sake of it being finished.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 2:14 pm

dewelar wrote:
Did you look at the example I provided? It has seven line breaks. Your original, single-spaced one had ten. Longer paragraphs (or, really, paragraphs) help.
No, where is your example??
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by dewelar » Sat May 10, 2014 2:16 pm

JohnnyTruant wrote:
dewelar wrote:
Did you look at the example I provided? It has seven line breaks. Your original, single-spaced one had ten. Longer paragraphs (or, really, paragraphs) help.
No, where is your example??
In my first post. I added it after I posted, so you may have missed it. Sorry.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 2:20 pm

dewelar wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:
dewelar wrote:
Did you look at the example I provided? It has seven line breaks. Your original, single-spaced one had ten. Longer paragraphs (or, really, paragraphs) help.
No, where is your example??
In my first post. I added it after I posted, so you may have missed it. Sorry.
Oh, so just select some random places and put make them into paragraphs? I'm not quite sure what the formula you're going with is.
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1228
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by dewelar » Sat May 10, 2014 2:29 pm

JohnnyTruant wrote:Oh, so just select some random places and put make them into paragraphs? I'm not quite sure what the formula you're going with is.
*does his best to refrain from cracking jokes about the education system in Texas :wink:*

At the most basic level, paragraphs group together related thoughts, dialogue and action. You need a new one every time you change focus (such as when a different character is talking). Otherwise, it's more about the style and the flow of your writing, and what sounds right when you read it in your head. If all else fails, take a look at how whatever other stuff you're reading does it, and it may help you get a handle on it. Writing is more art than science, after all.

ETA: Reading through the tips thread couldn't hurt either.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat May 10, 2014 2:32 pm

No, not random.
You put all the actions and lines of one person in one paragraph and when the speaking/acting person changes you hit enter twice instead of once and begin a new paragraph.
Example:
“What do you want to do today?”

I ponder a few moments on my thoughts with a large grin on my face. “Well… I’ve met your parents now. I think it’s about time you meet mine. My mom would adore you!”

“Can’t wait!”

I stretch from the bed to grab my phone that remains in my trousers.

About three feet away, Emi yanks me by my wrist. “Well, actually I kinda can. We can do this later.” She playfully pushes me to the other end of the bed.

I lie down on my back, and reply with a smirk drawn. “Dammit, Emi! We haven’t even brushed our teeth yet!” I continue by lowering the tone and volume of my voice, attempting to sound erotic. “… Not that I mind.”

We lay next to each other glaring in each other’s eyes for a while. [Here nothing really changes, but the linebreak signifies passage of time]

After that while has passed, I, once again, stand up from the bed and grab my slacks that I wore yesterday. I'm quickly reminded of the past day’s events and how they materialized. I’m now left wondering. Did Emi rush letting me in yesterday? It seemed so post-haste, though. I mean, it was the day after I had apologized to her on the track that morning for our fight at her house. I try to push that contemplation aside. I’m in a good place with Emi right now. I need to focus on the present. I need to just enjoy now and stop worrying so much about the past. And enjoy her embrace.
Edit:
Dewelar's explanation is also correct, mine is a bit more technical. I recommend sticking to the technical version until you're comfortable enough to experiment.
Edit2:
Yes, my explanation is a formula, but it also makes the text flow better ;-)

I never had any problem just copying my chapters - including double line breaks - from google docs where my proofreaders usually review them, but even if it doesn't work for you... For a chapter of this length adding twoscore linebreaks after you've copied it over should be a matter of two minutes (probbaly less) rather than an hour. It's easy: Just click everywhere there is a linebreak and hit enter.
It could take longer to rework what you did so far, because right now the line-breaks are scattered all over, but for later chapters you should do this while writing in the first place, so the additional stuff should be a breeze.
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Sat May 10, 2014 2:38 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
JohnnyTruant
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:18 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/8/14)

Post by JohnnyTruant » Sat May 10, 2014 2:34 pm

dewelar wrote:
JohnnyTruant wrote:Oh, so just select some random places and put make them into paragraphs? I'm not quite sure what the formula you're going with is.
*does his best to refrain from cracking jokes about the education system in Texas :wink:*

At the most basic level, paragraphs group together related thoughts, dialogue and action. You need a new one every time you change focus (such as when a different character is talking). Otherwise, it's more about the style and the flow of your writing, and what sounds right when you read it in your head. If all else fails, take a look at how whatever other stuff you're reading does it, and it may help you get a handle on it. Writing is more art than science, after all.
Alright, got it. Thanks. :)

And btw, I just live in Texas. I wasn't born here. Mississippi, actually, which is even worse. :oops: I'm ashamed. :oops: I can't even express how politically ashamed I am. :oops: And yes, I know how paragraphs are structured, you don't need to tell me. :roll: You just made it sound like a formula rather than "make it flow better".
"I like a cool, good pedal." - Nick Reinhardt (guitarist, main vocalist) of Tera Melos on his pedalboard.

Post Reply