Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Oscar Wildecat
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 9 2014-02-06)

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Thu Feb 06, 2014 6:33 pm

Lets make the assumption that this ends up a Hisao/Hanako official couple. If so, they really need to make Akira both best man and maiden of honor at their wedding. She deserves nothing less after the assist she's given this relationship.

EDIT: I'm also happy that Hanako has enough self respect not to settle for being "second choice", as she puts it.
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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Kitsune Spirit
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 9 2014-02-06)

Post by Kitsune Spirit » Thu Feb 06, 2014 8:02 pm

lol at the blind-girl slip-up. That was an interesting touch.

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Bad Apple
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 9 2014-02-06)

Post by Bad Apple » Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:26 pm

So... anyone writing Mystery-sanxHanako WAFF yet?

It is my understanding that fandoms have a neurotic tendency to do this kind of thing.

No? What do you mean, what's wrong with me? ... All right, guess I'll just have to comment OT then.


Lilly's phone call was an unexpected twist. Wonder what that'll lead to...

P.S. I have reconsidered my position on chapter length, as I've discovered that reading these between breaks fills the gaps nicely enough.
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Munchenhausen
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 9 2014-02-06)

Post by Munchenhausen » Fri Feb 07, 2014 6:51 am

As a teenager, I can confirm that 4:30am is the best time for McDonalds.
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Chapter 10 (Here goes nothing...)

Post by bhtooefr » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:27 am

For the second time today, I find myself walking the streets of Sendai.

“How about we meet for karaoke? I’d like to try Thursday over again.”

I’m not entirely sure why I agreed with that idea, but Akira’s suggestion that I talk to Hisao rolls through my mind. Soon, I find myself in front of the entrance, and notice that he’s waiting for me. “Hello, Hanako.”

“H-hi.” Wait, did I hear that right? Did he actually call me Hanako in public?

We enter, and soon head to the room that he had reserved. Once there, we take a seat, and he speaks up. “I’m sorry about everything, Hanako.” Well, that’s a good start, anyway. “Thank you for making me realize how badly I screwed up.” OK, so he and Shizune definitely broke up, but I’m still not convinced that I’m not his backup plan after things blew up with her. I’m not sure that I need him, either, now that I’m rebuilding my friendship with Lilly.

“A… Akira told me y-you went to T-Tokyo yesterday… what happened?”

Hisao looks me in the eye. “You gave me a lot to think about, a couple nights ago, and… I realized who my real girlfriend was. I went to Tokyo to break up with Shizune.” Checkmate. I start to reply, but he asks me to let him sing first. He picks his song, and starts singing, in English no less. He must have been planning this.

“«I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who’s torn it apart
And she's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
But when it come to being lucky she's cursed
When it come to loving me she's worse

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I’ve cried
And I’m sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky she's cursed
When it come to loving me she's worse»”

As the song comes to an end, the tears are flowing for both of us. I watch him closely as he explains, “I… I was confused, and hurt. I’m sorry I took that out on you, and didn’t give you what you deserved. I’d like a second chance with you.”

The hundred million yen question, then, is… would I like that? I certainly didn’t like how he treated me before. And, Lilly pointed out that he’s proven himself capable of cheating. Who’s to say that he won’t cheat on me?

But then, I’m reminded of why he was cheating on Shizune, and of how amazing the times we’ve spent together - not just the sex, either - have been. I meant it when I told him that I loved him, that fateful night. If he’s willing to try for me...

“Hanako… you made me realize what love actually is… and I think I lo-”

I’ve heard and seen enough, and it’s clear that the cake is definitely not a lie. I don’t give him a chance to finish, and cut him off with a kiss. For a moment, I lose myself in him, and the emotion washes over me. Eventually, we break the kiss, and I think Hisao’s actually crying harder than I am. I embrace him tightly, and I let the dam loose.

After what feels like hours, we regain a semblance of composure. I tuck my hair back, and then hold his hands, looking into his eyes. He starts to speak, but mere words aren’t right for this moment, and I shake my head, before picking a song of my own.

“«All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable»”

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Last edited by bhtooefr on Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by bhtooefr » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:35 am

And, with that, that's a wrap for this story. One Shizune route completely turned into a Hanako route... but without all the questions answered. Just like the Shizune route. :twisted:

If anyone wants to write a sequel themselves, I'll extend the same offer that Oddball did with All I Have - feel free to. I will note, however, that I do have some ideas that I'll be working on. They may not come to fruition, though, so don't let that stop you.
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Lost In The Fire
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by Lost In The Fire » Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:06 am

I was curious when the song the fic was named after would come into play, and there it is.
I liked this overall. Well done. In the event you do decide to continue with this with an additional fic I'll be interested in seeing where it goes.

Care to share any of these ideas you speak of?
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by bhtooefr » Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:30 am

They involve scrapping all the draft chapters, at least part of both of the posted chapters, and a significant part of Iron Oxide's outline to make it fit into this continuity.

And sharing any more would be an Iron Oxide spoiler (even if I don't take Iron Oxide in that direction). ;)

Some stats: 9055 words in a little over a month of writing. And both chapters 2 and 8 were 666 words (I didn't notice chapter 2 until just now, but I did notice chapter 8).
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by Mahorfeus » Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:02 pm

Oddball's original premise was pretty screwed up to begin with, but I don't know how I feel about this one, to be completely honest.

I suppose I feel like the resolution came a little too easily. Perhaps that is more because of the time skips and the fact that the story is all from Hanako's perspective, though.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by bhtooefr » Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:39 pm

As much as Hanako says she doesn't need Hisao, and that she doesn't want to be his second choice... realistically, she was going to get back with him, especially when she was just proven wrong about her suspicions of being his second choice, without her asking him that.

That doesn't mean that there aren't problems with that relationship, though, or that Hanako's unaware of them. Basically, this story's done, but that doesn't mean that the continuity is done.
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by dewelar » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:08 pm

I guess I agree with Mahorfeus that the wrap-up was a little too quick and clean, but overall a pretty good story. It'll be interesting to see what future stories in this same continuity would look like, too, whether written by you or someone else. I'd consider it myself, but I don't think I'll be writing anything else until Developments is completed.
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by Oddball » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:19 pm

It ain't bad and it's interesting how you went about it. Me? If I had continued my own story, it would have been bad endings all around for everyone.
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monkeywitha6pack
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:20 pm

To each their own
Wahahaha~.
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by Mahorfeus » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:39 pm

Oddball wrote:It ain't bad and it's interesting how you went about it. Me? If I had continued my own story, it would have been bad endings all around for everyone.
More or less what I was expecting, to be honest.

Ironically, I think I felt the most pity for Shizune.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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monkeywitha6pack
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Re: Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

Post by monkeywitha6pack » Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:45 pm

I was kinda expecting her to come to fight, I mean that's in her personality to do so
Wahahaha~.
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