COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 15th, 2018)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 15th, 2018)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:38 am

since you already know about Miki and I
about Miki and me.

Thanks for the new chapter! Pleasure as always :-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Craftyatom
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 15th, 2018)

Post by Craftyatom » Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:13 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:38 am
since you already know about Miki and I
about Miki and me.

Thanks for the new chapter! Pleasure as always :-)
Fixed! Thanks for the catch, and I'm glad you enjoyed!
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Brief Exchanges, Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection

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Feurox
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 15th, 2018)

Post by Feurox » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:56 am

It's a crime that I haven't commented on this yet. A crime.

Your Miki is potentially my favourite character in any story I've read on the Renai. That's a tough realisation to have had, given the quantity of versions of Miki alone. And yet, here we are, and I can say with confidence that it is the Miki of COM(promise) that earns the title of best girl in my eyes. She's relatable, troubled, passionate and kind - but it's the relatable one that really stands out amongst the other praise I could lay on the character.

Your writing perfectly captures the thoughts of someone at odds with themselves, the confession from Hisao being a stand out scene in that regard. Miki just feels so real, and I think part of what makes that so possible is because her relationship with Hisao, with Suzu even, it feels so attainable. There's not some high-octane story going in the background; Miki is fundamentally a teenager, and with this stories sharp focus on acceptance and self-improvement, I think that works wonderfully. Nothing feels contrived, it all feels natural - especially the progression of Hisao and Miki's relationship. And the romance is top notch so hats off.

I'd also like to commend your Hisao in this story. He feels like a character with substantial weight, not just some vessel of a man. The titbits of backstory we get about his childhood, and the growth he's shown surrounding his condition and his relationship with Miki are beautifully inspiring - again this is probably thanks to just how believable the story is between these two. It feels very well thought out. I'd also praise your depiction of Suzu, though we certainly take her in different directions :lol:! Suzu's story doesn't feel like some tacked on addition, and it's never a distraction delaying the Miki and Hisao scenes - which considering how brilliant those scenes are, speaks for the quality of Suzu's character. You've given yourself a small cast, but it truly works to make each of them feel like you're putting your heart into each of them.

As far as anything constructive, I'd definetly say that whilst all of what i mentioned above is true, some conflict wouldn't hurt this story. There are some intriquing turns I can foresee this story taking, but so far, the only readily apparent problem facing our cast is Suzu's downcast attitude. I have absoulely no doubt that you've already considered this, given who you are, and how talented as a writer i know you are, but it feels like a wortwhile comment to make at this moment in time. As we stand right now, things feel wonderful, but they also feel interstitial, we're definetly in the calm... I just hope that the storm continues to maintain the delicate realism you've infused this story with thus far.

TL;DR, I am in absoulte awe of this story. As i mentioned in Gravity's first post, it is people like you, like Brythain, like Mirage, on this forum, and the brilliant stories I have the privelge of being able to read that you put out, that I am inspried to write myself. I can give no higher praise for a story of this quality, but I hope that my humble piano tinkering does something in the way of thanks. Here's the piece I (composed? I guess?) in tribute to a wonderful story, and a very, very taleneted and interesting writer.

For CraftyAtom, Plyometric Heart

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Craftyatom
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 15th, 2018)

Post by Craftyatom » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:56 pm

Feurox wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:56 am
I'd also praise your depiction of Suzu, though we certainly take her in different directions :lol:!
You're absolutely right there - I can remember the first time I read your take on Suzu, and being surprised at just how different she was from my own depiction.
Feurox wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:56 am
As far as anything constructive, I'd definetly say that whilst all of what i mentioned above is true, some conflict wouldn't hurt this story. There are some intriquing turns I can foresee this story taking, but so far, the only readily apparent problem facing our cast is Suzu's downcast attitude. I have absoulely no doubt that you've already considered this, given who you are, and how talented as a writer i know you are, but it feels like a wortwhile comment to make at this moment in time. As we stand right now, things feel wonderful, but they also feel interstitial, we're definetly in the calm... I just hope that the storm continues to maintain the delicate realism you've infused this story with thus far.
You're absolutely right: recent scenes have ended some conflicts (Hisao and Miki's relationship, their attitude towards physical contact, and the upcoming test) and not started any new ones, leaving Suzu as the only real current point of conflict, and even that has been somewhat addressed. You're also right in that I've planned for this - I hope it will suffice to say that Act 3 is far from over. (To be fair, this whole "planning" thing is relatively new to me: I didn't have much of a plan until a few scenes ago, though I'm quite happy with it now.)
Feurox wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:56 am
For CraftyAtom, Plyometric Heart
Thank you so much! This is the first time, to my knowledge, that my writing has ever inspired a piece of art, and I absolutely love it! The progressions are wonderful, and it captures Miki's character really well, with both quick sprints of confidence and short moments of brief uncertainty, with an overall uplifting tone. Funnily enough, it has some parallels with a piece of music that I used for mood when designing my Miki early on: Early Morning May by Ronald Jenkees. While I don't think it fits exactly any more, there are certainly elements that do, and I think those are the ones which also appear in Plyometric Heart.
Feurox wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:56 am
TL;DR, I am in absoulte awe of this story.
Thank you very much for your kind words - I would hope you know just how joyful and emboldening it is to have someone truly enjoy your work. To hear that you find my story and characters believable and realistic gives me confidence in my writing - to hear that I helped inspire you gives me confidence in my decision to write. I'll do my best to continue to live up to your praise!
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Brief Exchanges, Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection

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