COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Sep 29th, 2019)

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by hyroglyphixs » Sun Aug 10, 2014 10:41 pm

Awesome installment. While I agree with bhtooefr on the silliness of Hisao not knowing how to buy clothes, everything else was fantastic. The whole Hisao thinking that he was not good enough for Yamaku is a very interesting angle into his emotions.

Can't wait to see what Miki makes out of this in the coming chapters :D
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El. Psy. Congroo~

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by Craftyatom » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:27 pm

brythain wrote:Sneakily updated 10 August!
It wasn't sneaky, I was just slow on updating the title. :P
bhtooefr wrote:The entire first part feels like Hisao picked up the idiot ball, or lost about 5-10 years of life experience, though, with how much Miki had to teach him about basic things like dressing himself.
Funny thing is, I actually toned it down prior to release, but I see what you mean. It's kind of an issue because I need to write them both in, and Hisao has to look to Miki, but if I go too far... this happens. I will consider a rework on that section, however given that it isn't exactly a major plot point, I won't be changing it until I finish act 2, at earliest.
hyroglyphixs wrote:The whole Hisao thinking that he was not good enough for Yamaku is a very interesting angle into his emotions.
Mournful3cho posted a few pages back about how many writers see Hisao differently, and therefore write him differently, and I think this is the one thing that best exemplifies how my perception of him is different from others'. I very much see this as who Hisao was in act 1, so writing him this way makes sense, but I can see how others might view things differently.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by AntonSlavik020 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:26 pm

Something tells me "Detective Miki Muira" won't let Hisao's evasiveness of the confession question go forever. Also, I expected Miki's ice cream flavor of choice to be something more unique than chocolate chip cookie dough, like maybe one of the strange names Ben and Jerrie's gives their ice cream. That's a pretty standard flavor.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by MagneticDucky » Sat Sep 27, 2014 11:53 pm

Please tell me the curse hasnt taken you too :(

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by Craftyatom » Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:52 am

MagneticDucky wrote:Please tell me the curse hasnt taken you too :(
Nope, I've been caught up in college, which hasn't given me as much time to write as I would like, and has left me drained during a lot of the time I would've liked to be writing. The next scene is coming, I'm 2k words into it, but that still leaves 2k more to go, and even with an outline, it doesn't come easy. Such is life. Also, believe me, if the curse got me, I would post a video of myself on youtube personally apologizing to every single person who's ever read this thread, and would either reveal where the story was going to go past the last release, or plead one of the other fantastic writers on this forum to pick up where I've left off.

I feel like this is a good time to apologize to y'all for being so inconsistent. I really wish I could be one of those writers who releases every two days, or even my old self who released every 2 weeks, but for whatever reason it's just not happening, and for that I am sorry.

So as not to make this post extremely hopeless or pointless, I'll put up an important line from the upcoming scene, which is still happening, just not, y'know, tomorrow.
“Miura, Nakai, stay after class for just a few minutes, please.”
inb4 Crafty is a sadistic bastard for posting this with absolutely no context.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by MagneticDucky » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:14 am

Im just happy to know its not over yet. Ive read a lot of finnished stories on this site so im near clueless when it comes to possible update times. All in all this is a story that keeps me excited so congrats with that and thanks for the quick reply :)

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Aug 10th)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:04 am

Well, it's not quite been 2 months since the last update, and I've finally got this one out. If excuses are acceptable, it's because I've just moved into college, and am stil getting used to things. I have a lot of time to write now (including the wonderful writing hours of 3-5 in the morning), which indicates that I should hopefully be able to speed up releases once I get into the swing of things, but that requires actually learning to swing.

Excuses aside, I am so incredibly sorry for making y'all wait so long for this update, especially because it's not very long (3.5k as opposed to the standard 4.5k words), HOWEVER: I'm going double or nothing and saying that the next update should be longer than usual, and hopefully that will make up for things. Why will next update be longer, you ask? Why, I'm glad you asked. Next update introduces the first decision of this route, which I've been planning for since act 2 started, and will hopefully make complete sense.

Until then, though, enjoy "Self-Insufficient"!
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Self-Insufficient (1/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:05 am

>Self-Insufficient<
Back to the grind, I suppose.

Class today has been no different than usual, with the exception that I recognized a few of the things Mutou was saying from the quiz last week. I still didn’t get much of what he meant, but I doubt it matters. Probably.

I don’t have time to mull over whether I should’ve paid more attention today before the bell rings, startling Mutou, who was halfway through something. The class begins to pack up and leave for lunch, Mutou trying to yell a few last-minute things over the mild commotion of moving chairs and conversing students. He seems to give up after a few barely audible sentences, but then remembers something, and looks around the class before adding “Miura, Nakai, stay after class for just a few minutes, please.”

That’s strange, what could he possibly want from-

Oh no.

I was sure that I had gotten away with Hisao helping me during the quiz, but maybe I was wrong. I look over at Hisao, who is paralyzed with fear, despite a quick jab to the shoulder from Misha, which is presumably her way of implying that he’s in trouble. If only she knew.

Well, I said I would take the fall for him, and I guess it’s time to prove that. As I pack up my things, I wonder what kind of punishment this actually warrants. Mutou doesn’t look too mad, but I guess he’s not the one who just got caught cheating, so he has no reason to be worried. Maybe he enjoys punishing students. Ew.

Whatever’s going to happen, there’s no running from it, so I resignedly get up and walk over to the large desk at the front of the class, Hisao finally building up the courage to follow me, albeit slowly, and with an almost catatonic stare. I consider reassuring him, but the noise of the class’ mass exodus has died down by now, and Mutou takes the opportunity to begin talking, facing me.

“Miss Miura, how do you feel about the material this class has been covering?” Well, so far so good. Kind of. How am I supposed to respond? I’m not even sure what the material he’s talking about is. I probably shouldn’t just say that, though.

Deciding to stall, I ask “What do you mean?”

He thinks for a moment. “I simply want to hear your perspective on the class’ pacing. Is the class too fast, too slow…?”

Again I feel the temptation to say that I’d be content if the class wasn’t moving at all, but since I haven’t been expelled yet, I suppose that I owe him the courtesy of at least pretending to have a valid opinion. Of course, I doubt he’d believe that I think the class is too slow, given how little work I’ve been doing. “The class is moving a little fast.” Something occurs to me. “Part of that is because I have to prepare for the track meet this weekend, though. I don’t have as much time as I’d like to spend on studying.”

“I am aware that you must be preparing for the upcoming meet, and that’s why I’ve been lenient with your missing homework. I still expect you to be keeping up with the material we cover in class, though.” Gulp. I suppose I haven’t been doing that either. Wait, so does this mean I’m not- “I’m afraid that, although your score on the assessment last week was passable, it told me that you don’t really have a good understanding of the core concepts that we’re trying to cover.”

I’m not quite sure how to respond to that. I guess so? Sorry? Maybe if you weren’t so boring? Luckily he continues before the silence between us becomes awkward.

“Of course, there’s a lot of time left in the semester, and I wouldn’t be doing my duty as a teacher if I simply left you behind the rest of the class. That’s why I brought Mr. Nakai here as well.” He turns to Hisao, who looks a bit better, though not entirely recovered. “Nakai, although you’re relatively new here, you’ve picked up the material incredibly quickly, and you were one of the top performers on the quiz last week, so you seemed like a natural candidate for peer tutoring.”

Hisao is stunned for a moment. “P-peer tutoring?”

“The idea is to have a student who is proficient with the material teach a student in need of help outside of class, allowing them to catch back up with the curriculum.”

This doesn’t seem to have fixed my prior issue. “But with preparations for the meet, how am I supposed to find time for tutoring after class?”

“That’s actually one of the benefits of this style of teaching – rather than be limited by my hours, the two of you can decide on a time and place that suits you.” Hisao fidgets a little. “Now, I know that you may not know each other very well, especially since Hisao is a relatively new student. However, since you’re both mature individuals, I have confidence that you can work well together. This is, of course, all dependent on whether the two of you are up to it.”

“Sure,” I reply without thinking. Honestly, I would probably eventually have gone to Hisao for help anyways. I think he’s the only person I know who actually understands the material, so it would make sense.

Hisao is a little slower to reply, but after some consideration agrees. “Yeah, I’d be okay with it.”

Mutou leans back in his chair. “Excellent! Now, you don’t need to meet every day, but I will be checking with both of you in the coming weeks to make sure that this whole ‘peer tutoring’ thing is working out, so I expect to see some improvements.” Hisao nods, looking very committed, and I shrug. “Alright, well if there are no questions, then you’re both dismissed for lunch. Thank you for your time.”

I slowly and calmly make my way to the door, Hisao following behind me in a slightly more labored fashion until we’re both out in the hall, the door to 3-3 closed behind us. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to clear my head after the terrifying moments prior, but I’m interrupted by some heavy gasping behind me. I spin around to see Hisao slumped against the wall, breathing heavily. “You okay?”

For a few moments I’m sure I’m going to have to carry him to the nurse’s office, but then he nods and straightens up a little. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine, just a little rattled.” He finally stands back up and begins following me to the cafeteria. A few somber steps later, he sighs. “I was sure we were dead.”

I laugh. “Yeah, me too. But hey, we’re both still here!” He nods, and we continue silently towards lunch.

It’s not until we get to the cafeteria that he turns to me and says “I didn’t know Mutou was excusing your missing work.”

“Honestly? Neither did I.”
Last edited by Craftyatom on Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Self-Insufficient (2/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:06 am

I trot to a stop, my running for the day finished. Hisao is waiting on the side, but starts walking down to the track once he sees that I'm done.

"So what do you think, am I getting faster?"

He becomes uneasy, and responds with an unsure "Um... Yes?"

I laugh at his rather shaky answer. "Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to keep track of my times or anything. You worry about your heart, I'll worry about my running." It comes off as a joke, but today is as hot, if not hotter, than yesterday, and a small part of me is wondering how Hisao is going to handle it.

He shrugs and starts walking, so I match my pace to his. He looks down at my feet, and raises an eyebrow. "I thought you'd be wearing your new running shoes."

I shrug. "Nah. Figured I wouldn’t dirty them just for a little practice like this, it's really not worth it. I'll save them for when I actually need them, like a race.”

“But don’t you need to break them in first?”

“It’s not that important, it might be a bit more uncomfortable, but so what? I can deal.”

“Well... Whatever works for you, I guess.” I did consider wearing my new shoes, but this pair works fine, and I want to keep my new pair nice and shiny. I just know that as soon as I wear them, they’ll be a mud streak, or some sort of drag mark, and they just won’t be as... new.

After another lap or so, Hisao smiles, as if he’s just heard a joke.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about earlier, talking to Mutou... It was actually pretty weird.”

“Why, because you thought he was going to expel you?”

Hisao rolls his eyes. “Well yeah, that too, but the weirdest part was the realization that he wanted me to tutor you.”

I’m confused. “Why was that weird?”

“It just seems like... I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see you running so much, or because you’ve been here longer than I have, but you seem like the kind of person who never needs help, with anything. You’re...” He waves his hands, trying to grasp at the correct term. “You’re self-sufficient.”

I hadn’t thought about it like that. I guess I can hold my own, but that's not a superpower or anything, and I certainly wouldn't say it extends to classes or homework. I'm not really sure how to respond. "I... I guess so?"

Luckily, Hisao seems less interested in my answer and more in explaining himself. “But then you mentioned the track meet, and having to practice, and how that was getting in the way of work, and I suppose it all makes sense. I wouldn’t know, because I didn’t bother to join any of the school’s clubs, but I assume that it’s a big time commitment.”

“Oh, yeah, it takes up a lot of my time.” I wouldn’t say that it’s the only reason my grades have been less than stellar lately, though. I’m about to say so when Hisao speaks up, eyes pointed at the ground.

“I guess I owe you an apology then, huh.”

“What? Why?”

“For bugging you about being prepared for the quiz.”

Wait a minute... “What? No, don’t be sorry for that!” He gives me a strange look. “You were completely right, I wasn’t prepared!”

“Well, yeah, but it wasn’t really your fault. You just didn’t have time to get everything done, whereas I assumed that you just didn’t care.”

Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong in that assumption. I won’t pretend to have a passion for science or anything. More important than that, though, is the biggest reason that he shouldn’t be apologizing: “Hisao, putting everything else aside, you helped me with the quiz. You put your ass on the line just so that I wouldn’t get a zero. You shouldn’t have to apologize to me for anything.”

He considers this for a moment, then shrugs. “Okay, I guess I’m not sorry then.”

I smile. “That’s more like it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I step out of the shower, towel wrapped around myself, and scurry to my room. It may be hot as hell outside, but that has made someone turn on the air conditioning, and now the hallways in the dorms are freezing, especially for people who have just finished taking nice, warm showers. Ordinarily I’d run the water cold to cool down after all this exercise, but it seems that walking with Hisao has done that job for me.

Actually, come to think of it, I haven’t been showering after practice as much, because I haven’t felt nearly as hot. I guess it’s called cooldown walking for a reason.

I duck into my room, which is at least a bit warmer than the hallway outside, and dry myself off properly, the friction of the towel warming me up significantly. I toss on some casual clothing, including the most comfortable shirt I own. It’s a bit worn, but there’s no way I’m getting rid of a shirt as gloriously comfy as this.

I fall backwards onto my bed, causing the mattress beneath me to groan. My body is pretty tired, but I’m awake. I’m awake and I’m bored.

Great.

Well, nothing’s going to happen with me just laying here, and so despite the aches in my legs, I get up and walk across to Suzu’s room and knock on the door.

After a minute with no discernible response from inside, I decide that she’s probably not there, and if she is, she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I go back to my room and check my phone, but my inbox is empty. I send a few messages out to some friends, but a lot of them are probably in their respective clubs, or doing homework, and so I’m not too surprised when I don’t get any quick responses back.

My stomach rumbles a little, and I realize that I should probably eat, even if it is a little early for dinner. I’m not too worried about what to eat so much as just eating something to balance out all that running, so I head to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria turns out to be a pretty good choice, as not many people have shown up yet, so all of the good stuff is still available. I look around to see if anyone I usually sit with is here yet, but the vast array of tables is nearly empty, with only a few straggling students, most of them first years, present at the lunch tables. Oh well, I guess dinner is going to be boring.

I gather a large selection of food, and carry the veritable mountain of calories to one of the less-occupied tables, near the front, so that if somebody else I know comes in they’ll see me, or at the very least, I’ll see them. I doubt anyone will show up; this is a lot of food, but I’m ravenous, so I shouldn’t be here more than a few minutes.

When I finally do finish everything on my plate, and make the tough decision not to go and get more, I head back to my room, checking my phone to see if anyone has replied, but nothing yet.

Back at my room, I slump onto my bed again. Still no messages. The light through my window proves that it’s far too early to consider sleeping, and besides, I’m not really that tired anyways. Well, my head’s not tired, but my legs are, enough so that going and running some more probably isn’t an option.

Can’t run, can’t sleep, can’t find any friends...

My mind jumps to homework, but I stop myself before I can even consider that possibility. If Mutou really is letting me get away with not turning in work, I want to appreciate every single moment of it. Besides, I probably didn’t bother to write down what pages the assignment was on, so chances are that I don’t even know what homework I would do if I wanted to. And this is all assuming that I’d know how to do it, which, let’s be honest, is probably not the case. I guess I could ask someone, probably Hisao...

Hisao! He might be available to tutor me, which would certainly pass any boring time I would’ve had to spend doing nothing anyways. I grab my phone and immediately begin scrolling down to his number, only realizing after a few seconds that I don’t actually have his number.

Well, if anything, that makes two reasons to go see him. I jump off of my bed and out of the door, stuffing my phone into my pocket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remember the way to Hisao’s room pretty well; it was less than a week ago that I had to carry him back there. I had been to his room before, but I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have remembered the way if I hadn’t had to drag him all the way there. Climbing the stairs in the boys’ dorm, I can still remember trying to get him up each step.

Is that a bad memory? I mean, he was kind of heavy, and it was the middle of the night, but we’re both okay now, right? If anything, this counts as a happy memory, because I helped him survive a heart flutter... That I caused. And then never told him it was me.

Luckily Hisao’s room is now in front of me, and I clear my mind of anything to do with late-night running escapades and who's to blame for them as I knock on his door.

In a few seconds the door is open, and Hisao is standing in front of me. “Oh, Miki, hey. What’s up?”

“Well, I don’t really have anything to do, and so I figured now might be a good time to start on that tutoring, if you’re free.”

“Oh, yeah, I was just reading, I don’t really have much to do either. I haven’t really prepared for tutoring you, though.”

I wave my hand dismissively. “You don’t need to prepare, just run through the material or something, I’ll pick it up eventually.”

“Well, okay... Give me a few seconds to get all the stuff I’m going to need, though.” He ducks back into his room, not bothering to close the door behind him, and reemerges a bit later with a textbook, some notebooks, and a pencil. “Okay, all set. Where do you want to go?”

Where do I... I hadn’t really thought about that. I was more concerned with finding his room than figuring out a place to go afterwards, but if memory serves, he’s not going to let me in there, so we had better go somewhere else. “I don’t know, did you have anywhere in mind?”

Without even thinking, he says “The library is still open for a while, I think, so we could go there.”

Excellent. At least he has some idea what to do. “Sounds good, lead the way!”
Last edited by Craftyatom on Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Self-Insufficient (3/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:07 am

“Oh, okay. So you put the concentration of the bits on top, and the concentration of the combination on the bottom, and it always equals this number, which is different depending on which acid it is.”

Hisao nods, but adds “For weak acids, yes.”

“Weak acids, gotcha. How are those different again?”

He furrows his brow, and is about to try and explain when a timid voice speaks behind us.

“E-excuse me?”

I turn around to see Yuuko, the librarian, standing behind us. I’m not sure why she would need to speak to us, unless we were being too loud, which I’m pretty sure we-

“Oh, Yuuko, are you closing up?” Apparently Hisao knows. Closing up? It can’t be that late, can it?

“Yes, in a few minutes. If you really need to stay, I guess I could stick around, but-”

Hisao quickly interjects a “No, no, it’s fine, we were pretty much done anyways,” and gets up, closing the textbook sitting on the table and stuffing a few loose papers into one of his notebooks. Yuuko seems content with taking his word, and scurries off to do something else.

I get up as well, and the two of us leave the building. As we get out into the open air, I see that the sun is fairly low in the sky, so it must have been later than I thought. Strange, I was sure that this was going to be a tedious process, but so far it hasn’t been too bad. Then again, I’m not sure how much we actually accomplished today.

I decide to ask Hisao. “So how much did we actually get through today?”

He ponders this for a second. “We covered a lot, actually. I wasn’t expecting to get as far as we did.”

I put my hand on my chest and act surprised. “You mean you doubted my ability to learn? Why Hisao, I’m offended!”

“N-no, not like that, I mean-” My laughter cuts him off, and eventually he realizes that I was only joking and sighs. “If anything’s holding us back, it’s my ability to teach.”

“Hey now, that’s not fair, you’re really good at this! I actually understand a lot of stuff now, which is more than I can say for Mutou’s lectures.”

Hisao shrugs. “He has to teach an entire class, though; I only had to talk to you, which I suppose is why this tutoring’s a good idea. It’s easier to focus.”

By this point we’ve reached the split in the path between the two dorms, and Hisao and I say goodbye before something occurs to me, and I sprint back to him. “Hisao!”

He turns around, slightly concerned. “Yeah?”

“I need your phone number, so we can actually plan this tutoring stuff instead of me just showing up at your door unannounced.”

“Oh... Okay.” I hand him my phone, and he types in his number, saves himself as ‘Hisao’, and then returns it to me. I send him a quick message, ‘Guess who?’, then look at him expectantly. It takes him a few seconds to realize what I’m waiting for. “Oh, uh, my phone’s up in my room.”

So much for clever text messages. We say our goodbyes again, and I head back to my room, my brain and body both now thoroughly tired.

Previous: Little Angels ~ Next: Cover
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 9th)

Post by brythain » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:31 am

I like this Miki. Nice, warm, and easy to relate to. Hisao, Mutou, good. Tight focus on Miki means no other characters get a look in? Still very glad to read the update, me. :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 9th)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:45 am

Yeah, except for that one time she almost killed him.
Anyway, nice to see a new chapter here, but...
Next update introduces the first decision of this route, which I've been planning for since act 2 started, and will hopefully make complete sense.
I won't hold my breath for this one^^°
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 9th)

Post by Sperance » Fri Oct 10, 2014 5:12 am

Nice chapter. I actually find the evolution of Hisao from the eyes of another eyes very interesting. And is... Is Miki actually thinking about her education? MADNESS

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 9th)

Post by Craftyatom » Mon Oct 13, 2014 2:04 am

Sperance wrote:Is Miki actually thinking about her education? MADNESS
Not so much actively thinking about it as allowing it to happen around her, really.
Also, "Madness..."
brythain wrote:Tight focus on Miki means no other characters get a look in?
I am not the best at 'lots of characters', but I am going to try to expand as time goes on, so don't worry, Miki's not suddenly going to lose all of her friends or whatever. I will say, though, that this is a story about Hisao and Miki, and the focus will (barring plot-based revelations at a later date) always be on the interaction between those two characters.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Anyway, nice to see a new chapter here, but I won't hold my breath for this one^^°
On one hand, ow, my feelings.
On the other hand, I've really only got myself to blame.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Oct 9th)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Oct 13, 2014 7:34 am

That wasn't menat to be a complaint about the update schedule. I just wanted to express my doubt that having a choice point in the story will work any better than in any of the few dozen stories that tried it before...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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