COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Sep 29th, 2019)

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Jan 23rd)

Post by Craftyatom » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:07 pm

So, I figured that since I'm (chronologically) right between my last post and my next post, I'd do a small update. Let's see what people said!
Sperance wrote:[Miki]'s gonna end up boinking Hisao in a public place, isn't she
Ha, that's funny. Still, though, as humorous as it is, I don't-
timetravelzero wrote:Heh. I approve of this idea.
Well, it was pretty funny, but logically, I still think-
NotSoClassy wrote:Hisao's heart probably doesn't.
Exactly, I mean, among other things, I guess that that's-
Steinherz wrote:Hisao's penis would probably approve of that however. :lol:
...
So, uh... Yeah. I hadn't ever considered this possibility, ever. Now I have. It's an interesting possibility. Ordinarily, because of who I am and how I work, I'd answer with "Who knows?" or "That would be a spoiler," but because so many people commented on it I figure that I should break it to you that this is 95% not happening. Of course, almost anything can happen between now and whatever ends we arrive at, but the chances are quite low in this case. Not that it definitely won't, but in all probability, our protagonist's boinking and bunking will be fairly private.

On a lighter note, school has been cancelled 2 days in a row now due to the extreme cold, so I've actually gotten quite a bit of work done on the next scene, which will be entitled "The Blur"!
(EDIT: Renaming it to "Impact" because I have been regretting not doing so for too long now)
Last edited by Craftyatom on Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Jan 23rd)

Post by Sperance » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:12 pm

Too bad about the cold, but nice that you could get some work done! Can't wait to read more. Also, I'm holding for that 5%. YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM ME!

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Jan 23rd)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:51 am

It's that time of week again!

Some parts of this scene were the best things I've ever written (you may or may not pick up on a few), and some definitely weren't (though hopefully you won't pick up on those :P). All in all, there was enough chunky, delicious text to hit 4k words, which was a nice feeling after falling short of that mark in Act 2's scenes so far.

If it seems a bit similar to last scene, that's because it is! Our characters have routines, how quaint. If you're not a fan of monotony, however, don't worry; the story will be moving a fair bit faster (and in some cases, in different directions) for most of the rest of act 2, as opposed to there being a scene for each individual day (which is what has happened so far).
Sperance wrote:YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM ME!
That actually may come to depend on how you define "public". Maybe. Maybe.

Anyways, with any luck the next update will be out in 2 weeks, on February 20th. For now, Enjoy!
Last edited by Craftyatom on Thu Feb 06, 2014 1:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Impact (1/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:51 am

>Impact<
So much for a good night’s sleep.

It sucks, really, that the one time I actually feel committed to getting some rest, my phantom pains keep me up. But it’s not like I have control over it, so here I am, out in the middle of the night again.

As I round the nearest corner, snaking my way around the school grounds, I turn onto one of the paths that’s not so well-lit. It’s kind of cool, weaving in and out of the shadows at full speed, like some sort of unseen-

WHAM

Suddenly I collide with something that had been hidden by one of the shadows, and stumble forwards, arms flailing in an attempt to maintain my balance. After finally stabilizing myself, I sprint away, being careful to distance myself from whatever noise I made, as it might have attracted someone’s attention. When I’m sure that I’m far enough away, I turn around to see that whatever I ran into has been knocked into the round beam cast by one of the path lights. Turns out that it was actually a student, a guy by the looks of it, who’s taking his sweet time getting…

Holy shit.

It’s Hisao.

I was feeling guilty anyways for bowling someone over like that, but my plan was to make sure they were okay and then keep running. Hisao certainly does not seem okay. Even from here I can tell that his breathing is heavy, and he’s clutching at his chest with his left hand. I sprint back over to him, faster than I left, and kneel down by his side. Sure enough, his face is red, and I can tell that he’s in a lot of pain. Is he having a heart attack? Is he going to die? Did I kill him? Oh god, there’s no way I could live with that, Hisao, you had better not die.

I’m about to say something before realizing that my voice would probably give me away. Hisao’s my friend, and maybe he’d be able to keep my secret, but I can’t be sure. I’ve never told anyone, not even Suzu, and I certainly don’t want to start now. Searching for an answer, I grab his right hand with mine, and he tenses up, then relaxes, then seems to make a decent effort at squeezing my hand. Over the next few seconds I can hear his breath slowly becoming less and less labored, and he seems to loosen up. His face returns to its normal color, and I realize that I shouldn’t really be looking at him, in case he recognizes me. So I turn away, keeping my hand on his, willing him to recover.

Eventually he manages to work up the breath to speak. “Are… Are you Death?” He inhales sharply. “Am I dead?” Damnit, Hisao.

Unable to say anything, I get up and use my grip on his hand to pull him to his feet, hoping that it’s answer enough. He only manages to stand up for a second or two, though, before stumbling sideways into me. Evidently he hasn’t quite recovered from whatever happened to him and his heart back there. I wrap my right arm around him, which seems to stabilize him a bit.

I briefly consider taking him to the nurse’s office and getting him checked, but there’s no way I could do that without being recognized. Besides, Hisao seems to be… Well, he’s not dead, which I guess is going to have to do. He’ll have to sleep it off. I start heading for the boys’ dorms, Hisao slumped against me.

When we finally make it through the front doors, having avoided any members of the night watch, I take a moment to try and remember where Hisao's room is. I can't remember the specifics from when I followed him there last week, but it was upstairs, at least.

Great.

Through some mixture of staggered steps and hanging onto the railings, I manage to make it up the stairs, Hisao clinging to me for stability. I'm still not sure exactly where his room is, but luckily, it doesn't matter; after walking down the long main hallway for a few seconds, Hisao points towards a particular door, which I assume is his. When we finally reach it, I wonder for a second how I’m going to open it with my right arm holding up Hisao, but luckily he reaches forwards and turns the doorknob for me. He tries to make it into the room on his own, but trips on the threshold, and I’m only just able to catch him before he hits the ground. Slowly pulling him up, I drag him over to his bed and lay him down. He pulls some sheets over himself instinctively, and I’m about to leave before something catches my eye.

On the nightstand next to Hisao’s bed, a faint ray of light, cast by one of the path lamps outside, shines onto a large collection of bottles. I pick one up, and see some long chemical name across the top, along with a dosage label. It’s medication, but… I check another of the bottles, and then the next, until eventually I’ve confirmed that these are all pills. Some to be taken twice a day, some three times a day, but all definitely for Hisao, all presumably for his heart. There are so many different containers here… I can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like. Now probably isn’t the time to be dwelling on it, though.

I head back out into the hallway, locking and closing Hisao’s door. As I do so, however, I hear a collection of clicking noises behind me, like a number of locks being undone. I turn around just in time to see the door across from Hisao’s open, a boy wearing only boxer shorts and a thick pair of rectangular glasses standing behind it. He’s holding what appears to be a plastic spork in his right hand.

“Hey, you!” he yells, far too loudly for this time of night, though I guess I’m not one to judge. “What were you doing in Hisao’s room?”

I stand there for a second, at a loss for what to say. If it were anyone else, I probably would’ve sprinted away by now, but something about this guy is kind of disarming.

“Strong but silent type, eh? Well, I warn you, not only am I a master of hand-to-hand combat, I’m well armed!” He waves his spork for emphasis. Now I see why I didn’t run.

It’s at this moment that my phantom pains flare up again. I guess carrying Hisao to his room wasn’t enough to ward them off. I grab my left arm with my right and try to stifle a cry of-

“Well, what are you waiting for? Come at me, feminist scum!” God, this guy doesn’t stop, does he. My hand is getting worse by the second, I can barely-

“Trying to psych me out, eh? Well I’m not having it! Come on!” I turn to walk back down to the exit, because if I can just get outside, just get out, just run-

“Think you can leave without a fight? Think again, you-“ His sentence is cut blissfully short as my fist drives its way up into his crotch, and I can almost hear a satisfying ‘squish’. He stands there for a moment, mouth agape, then drops his spork and falls to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest. Convinced that he's no longer a threat - whether or not he ever was - I turn and sprint back to the girls' dorms, only realizing halfway there that a grin has snuck its way onto my face.

By the time I make it back to my room, my left arm has stopped hurting, and I get myself back to bed, my tired brain still wondering about Hisao and his mountain of pills.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could’ve stayed home today. I could’ve just flopped down onto my bed. I deserve it, I got a lot of exercise in last night. Hisao’s not a particularly heavy guy, but he’s fairly tall, which meant that half-carrying him all the way to his room ended up being quite the workout.

But instead I’m here, walking to class, eyes half-closed and my body protesting every step. I look down at Suzu, who’s walking beside me, looking no more awake than I am. She probably would’ve made me come in today anyways.

We’re both far too tired to hold a conversation, so we slowly make our way into the building, glaring at anything in front of us. As we get to the classroom and head inside, however, something occurs to me.

There sits Hisao, one hand supporting his chin, staring out the window. I hadn’t considered it, but what if he recognizes me from last night? It didn’t seem like he knew who I was, but then again, he was pretty out of it. It’s entirely possible that he saw my left arm ending in a stump, or caught a glimpse of my face, or-

He’s looking at me. He turned from the window he was staring out of and is now apparently looking at me, the two of us staring each other down.

Luckily for me, he raises one eyebrow, presumably confused as to why I’m staring at him, and then gives an awkward wave. Well, crisis averted, I guess. If he did recognize me last night, he’s not letting it show. I take my seat and wait for class to begin, hoping to at least pick up on some of what Mutou is saying today. I did get a chance to go over Suzu’s notes yesterday, but they weren’t exactly comprehensive, and as someone who doesn’t even know some of the basics that go into the material, I was completely lost. I guess that paying more attention in class now is my only hope, so I’ll give it my best shot.
Last edited by Craftyatom on Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:21 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Impact (2/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:52 am

I fiddle with my pen, trying my best to turn it between my fingers. I’ve only managed to get it through one or two rotations so far, but I’ve only been trying for a little bit. My efforts will have to wait, however, as the bell rings, and everyone gets up to go to lunch. So much for paying attention to the lesson.

Before anyone can make it out of the door, however, Mutou calls out “Miura, Nakai, see me after class, please.” After a brief moment of panic, I realize that he’s probably just going to ask why I was out yesterday, which I have no problem with. I have no idea, though, why he needs to see Hisao. As I get up and begin to walk over to the front of the class, Suzu walks in front of me, giving me a tired look that says “I’ll notify your next of kin.” I shoot her back a smile that boasts “It would take a thousand Mutous to defeat the likes of me!”

Hisao and I reach the teacher’s desk simultaneously, and Mutou leans back in his chair. “Miss Miura, is there any particular reason that you were absent yesterday?”

“I was just feeling a little ill, sir. I’m much better now, though, don’t worry.”

“Ah. Well, if you’re sure that you’re doing better, then I suppose that’s the best we can hope for. Just making sure that nothing drastic had happened.”

“No, sir, but thank you for your concern.” I bow, and begin to head out the door, but Mutou calls after me.

“Oh, and Miura?”

“Hmm?” I reply, stopping and turning around.

“Yesterday, while you were gone, I announced to the class that there will be a quiz this coming Saturday, on the material we've been covering this past week.” Well, that’s not so bad. I’ve got plenty of time until Saturday.

“Okay, thank you!” I bound out of the door, eager to get to lunch, but stop myself after getting a few meters down the hallway. Hisao’s still in there. I suppose that if there’s any time to check if he’s okay after last night, it would be now, in the empty hallways during lunchtime. Besides, Mutou can’t have that much to say, so I’m sure Hisao will be out soon.

It ends up being slightly more than 5 minutes when he gets out, and I jump up from the small patch of floor where I was sitting as I waited, surprising Hisao. “Oh, hey Miki.” He pauses for a moment. “You waited for me?”

“Yeah, I just figured that it would be better than both of us walking alone.” He shrugs, and we start making our way to lunch. My guess is that Hisao won’t start a conversation on his own, so I decide to break the ice. “Why did Mutou want to see you?”

“Eh, he just asked how things were going for me so far at Yamaku, how I was feeling, if I was getting along with other people, stuff like that.”

“And what did you say?”

“Well, I said that I was actually making a few friends, and that the school work hasn’t been too hard so far, so all in all, things have been going fairly well.”

“So you like it here?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing.”

He sighs. “I don’t know. I mean, the school is great, like they said it would be… I just don’t feel like I fit in, really.” I’m about to answer when he adds “Or maybe I fit in too well. I have no idea.”

“Well it can’t be both, so which one?”

“I… I just don’t know. On one hand, I feel like I’m lost at this school, like everyone knows what’s going on except me. On the other hand-” His eyes go wide, and he quickly closes his mouth. Why, what’s-

Oh.

‘The other hand’.

Ha.

“Okay, point taken, you’re not fully accustomed to Yamaku. But that’s natural, I mean, you’ve been here for less than 2 weeks. I didn’t get used to this place for at least a month. And you said that you might fit in too well? How does that work?”

“Well, I got used to the class work just fine, and everything seems to be flowing pretty well…” He sighs again. “I just woke up this morning feeling like I was going native.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, to begin with, this school was so different. Everything seemed so weird when I got here, and I guess it still does a lot of the time. But now that I’m getting into a routine, I can’t help but think that I’m becoming kind of weird too. Like the school is rubbing off on me.”

“Oh boy, you’re becoming like the rest of us. What a tragedy.”

He’s stunned for a bit. “N-no, not like that, I didn’t mean-“

“Hisao.” We both stop walking. “Don’t worry. Being new anywhere tends to be confusing. Give it some time; Yamaku will feel just like home, I promise.”

He shrugs and sighs. “I guess that’s all I can hope for.” We start walking again, and after a while Hisao looks at me again. “Oh, by the way, the strangest thing-” He stops again, this time as we’re about to enter the cafeteria.

“What?”

“Oh, it’s… I’ll tell you later, at cooldown laps, okay?”

“You sure you can’t just tell me now?”

He fidgets with his fingers a bit, and I can already tell that I’m not going to win this one. “It’s… A bit personal, I’d rather not be, you know…” He gestures forwards into the building, emphasizing the dull roar coming from the students in the cafeteria. “People.”

Oh… Is this about last night? Damn, and I thought he’d have time to tell me as we walked over here. “Don’t worry, you can tell me later. For now, let’s just get something to eat.”

With that, we head off to scavenge for our lunches.
Last edited by Craftyatom on Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Impact (3/3)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:53 am

Running so far today has been a lot harder than yesterday, presumably because yesterday I had the benefit of being well-rested, not to mention that carrying Hisao seems to have been more of a workout for my legs than I had expected. As I come around the next bend, however, I see that my running for today is finally finished, as Hisao is making his way down to the bleachers. That’s strange… He’s got the same purple shirt on as he wore yesterday. Come to think of it, his shorts look the same, too.

I hope he washed them.

As I jog over to him, he grins nervously. “Sorry, I’m a bit early again.”

“It’s fine, I was feeling pretty tired anyways. Want to get going?”

“Sure, lead the way.”

Unlike last time, Hisao starts talking as soon as we line up and start walking. “So, I was going to say before lunch, the strangest thing happened to me last night.”

Well, here it comes. “Oh?”

“Alright, so I couldn’t sleep last night. I had tried everything, but I was still awake. So I decided to go for a walk.”

“In the middle of the night?” I'm not really in a position to judge, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Well, yeah, but… It seemed like a good idea back when I was really tired, okay?”

“Fine, fine, carry on.”

“So I’m walking down one of the paths, just thinking about… I don’t know, stuff, when suddenly BAM-“ he punches the air with his right hand- “Something knocks me down.” He sighs. “You remember when I told you about my heart, and how a whole bunch of stuff sets it off?”

“… Yeah?”

“Well, I started having a heart flutter.”

Oh, so it wasn’t an actual heart attack. As relieving as that is, and even though I know that Hisao’s fine now, his story still makes me uneasy. “Woah, so what happened?”

“Well I was trying to work through it, doing breathing exercises and trying to focus on my heartbeat, but… Well, next thing I know, somebody kneels down next to me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, this guy in all black clothing, with a hood on.” Phew, so he really doesn’t know that- “Oh, except for his right arm. He had this weird white design on his right sleeve.”

“Huh, strange.”

“Yeah, so as my heart finished fluttering, he offered me his hand and helped me up.” He left out both the part where I was holding his hand and the part where he thought I was death, but I guess those are both minor details. “I could barely walk, though, because I was so dizzy after all of that, so he actually pretty much carried me back to my room, and I fell asleep.”

I take a second to soak in his retelling of events, even though I was there myself. “That… That’s definitely the strangest thing I have ever heard of happening at Yamaku.” Having a funny idea, I grin. “Are you sure you didn’t just dream it?”

“Well, at first I thought that too, but this morning the guy who lives across from me started rambling to me about how a black-clad figure had been in my room in the middle of the night. He seemed pretty serious about it, but also said that he had fought whoever it was off, so I was probably fine.” I burst into laughter when I realize that that must have been the guy I punched. “What’s so funny?”

Uh oh, think fast… “Well, maybe he was dreaming too. You could’ve had a shared dream or something.” I gasp in mock realization. “Maybe you’re soul mates!”

Hisao cringes. “Soul mates? With Kenji? I think I’d rather die.”

“Kenji… I don’t think I know him.”

“Don’t worry, I doubt you two would get along.”

“Oh?”

“Well, unless you’re ready to swear your allegiance against the ‘feminist agenda’, I doubt he’d let you within a few yards of him.”

I raise one eyebrow. “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. In fact, he actually thought that the guy who carried me home last night was actually a woman bent on advancing some feminist plot by spying on the two of us.”

“How do you know they weren’t?”

Hisao narrows his eyes, and looks at me like I’m crazy. “You mean how do I know that they weren’t a feminist spy?”

I slap my forehead with my hand. “No, how do you know that they weren’t a woman?”

“Oh.” Hisao blushes, embarrassed, but quickly goes back to thinking, trying to remember last night. “I mean, I never saw their face, and they never said anything… I just kind of assumed he was a guy.” He thinks for a second. “So you’re saying that Kenji was right?”

“No, just considering all the options.”

We’re both quiet for a bit, and I’m glad, in the end, that he doesn’t know that it was me. I have trouble enough keeping that secret myself sometimes, and I wouldn’t want to get Hisao involved. Luckily for the both of us, it seems like it’s all in the past. I realize that the silence between us has been dragging on a bit, so I decide to open up conversation again.

“So, just thinking about clothes and strange situations, is that the same shirt you wore yesterday?”

Hisao looks down at his chest, then looks back up sheepishly. “Well… Yes.”

“Tell me that you at least washed it.”

“Oh, yeah, I did. Figured that I’d want it clean if I was going to wear it again.”

“Well, I guess that’s something… But why?”

“It’s, uh… It’s the only shirt I own that I can exercise in.”

My mouth hangs open in surprise. “Really? The only one?”

“Well, I mean, I own lots of other shirts, but they’re all either long sleeved or too nice to get sweaty, or both.”

Huh... I have lot of shirts for running, but then again, I run a lot. Hisao, it seems, was less prepared. “This is wonderful!”

“Yeah, I just-” He stops, confused. “Wait, what? Why is this wonderful?”

“Well, if you actually plan to keep exercising, you’re going to need more than just one shirt.”

“Okay, and…”

“And that means that you’ll need to buy more.”

“I guess so…”

“Which means that we can go shopping this weekend!”

He takes a while to consider this, but doesn’t seem very enthusiastic. “I don’t know, I might just give up exercise altogether instead.”

“Aww, come on, it’ll be fun. Suzu can come, and we can all get lunch someplace, and I could actually do with some-“

“Wait, where exactly would we get lunch and clothes?”

“Oh, from the city. There are a couple of different clothing stores down there.”

“City? I didn’t know there was one nearby.”

“Yeah, it’s just a few minutes from here by bus, lots of students head down there over the weekend. So what do you say?”

He strokes his chin for a bit, deep in thought. “Well, I guess it would be nice to see a big city again.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I grew up in a fairly populated area. That’s one of the reasons Yamaku seems to strange to me, I guess. It’s so quiet out here.”

“I never really thought about it that way, to be honest. To me, it’s more like the city is loud, and Yamaku is normal.”

He shrugs. “Just a matter of opinion, I guess.”

“But you’ll come with us?”

“Sure, I don't see why not.”

“Cool! I’ll talk to Suzu tonight, and make sure she can come, and then we’ll make plans at lunch tomorrow!”

Another shrug, though apparently the idea is growing on him, because I can see the edges of his mouth perking up. Before I can say anything, though, he goes “Ten!”

“Ten what?”

“Ten laps.”

Oh, we’re… “We’re done?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

He seems to have taken it a lot better than last time, but now that I think about it, I was probably walking a bit slower due to being tired. Still, it’s good that Hisao made some progress.

We say our goodbyes, and I head back to my room.

Sunday, then. Sunday we go shopping.

Previous: Tossing and Turning ~ Next: Converse Appropriation
Last edited by Craftyatom on Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Sperance » Thu Feb 06, 2014 4:31 am

A wild Kenji appears! Miki used Mach Punch! It's super effective! Enemy Kenji fainted...
Also the 'Hisao almost died count' for this route can begin: 1

Alas, poor Hisao. He not will go shopping with TWO girls. Poor, poor bastard may his souls rest in peace...

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Thu Feb 06, 2014 7:57 am

Sperance wrote:Also the 'Hisao almost died count' for this route can begin: 1
Yep. For a moment there, I thought Miki was going to do what Hanako did in 'Bad Hanako' and just leave Hisao to die :lol:

Ah, well. Master of Romance lives on... for now. Great chapter, though it was a bit strange. I like strange.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:38 am

So Miki is so afraid of people finding out about her nightly jogs that she risks Hisao dieing to keep it secret?
She didn't strike me as the kind to care much about a reprimand or two so far.
The last two thirds of this chapter were fine, but I think her reasoning in the first part was WAY out of character.
I mean what's the worst that could have happened to her? She was out after curfew. So was Hisao, and if he managed without problems then so are probably quite a lot of others as well.
Her running into Hisao was an accident - there's no rule that forbids running in the schoolyard, and she had no reason to expect to run into anyone there.

If he had died after she neglected to bring him to the nurse's office it would have been her fault.
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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by bnash22 » Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:21 pm

I really like all of your work so far. I just read up to here tonight, and honestly it's great. the only thing that irks me is how much of a pansy you make hisao out to be, but hey you can't please everyone. just keep doing what you're doing and maybe it'll turn my way :wink:

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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:55 pm

bnash22 wrote:The only thing that irks me is how much of a pansy you make Hisao out to be, but hey you can't please everyone.
Isn't it great? That we can have so many Hisaos that we get to pick and choose which ones we like? They can be as passive as a Hanako sequel route character, or as aggressive and sure-footed as a Tomorrow's Doom Swooner. Anyway, I'm just happy that we can take so much liberty with a single character and turn him into something entirely different from what we expect of him.

Sorry, off topic!
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Craftyatom
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Craftyatom » Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:02 am

Sperance wrote:Also the 'Hisao almost died count' for this route can begin: 1
I didn't know this was a thing, but I approve. Defining "almost died" might become important, though.
bnash22 wrote:I really like all of your work so far. I just read up to here tonight, and honestly it's great. the only thing that irks me is how much of a pansy you make hisao out to be, but hey you can't please everyone. just keep doing what you're doing and maybe it'll turn my way :wink:
Thanks for the kind words! Regarding pansy-ness, you're right, at least in terms of how he appears. I personally wouldn't call him a pansy, given how I think of him when I write, but have no problem with that assessment, because his actions so far live up to it.
Mournful3ch0 wrote:Great chapter, though it was a bit strange. I like strange.
Thanks, though I personally prefer stability. As long as you liked it, though, I guess I didn't do too badly!
Mirage_GSM wrote:I think her reasoning in the first part was WAY out of character.
This is a tough one to respond to because I personally had no qualms with it when I wrote it. Not that you're wrong; you bring up some good points. All I have as a response is that I wrote Miki in the way that I imagined she would respond, even if it wasn't the most rational. That, however, relies more on my mental image of her than anything fact or canon, though, and so it's not really an argument that is particularly swaying. In any case, thanks for the feedback, because I will certainly take a look at addressing this further on in Act 2, though it might take a bit.
Also, thank you for including me on your post to the archive; I really didn't want to post there myself and mess something up or sound pretentious. I appreciate it! :D
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Brief Exchanges, Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
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Magnet
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Magnet » Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:48 pm

Love the route so far! Hisao's character might not be what I consider it to actually be, but that's not a flaw at all, just adds some of the artist's invention to the creation. Can't wait for future updates!

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Numb
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by Numb » Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:03 pm

Finally got around to actually reading this (yes, I recommended you blindly, don't hate me D:), and I'm loving how it's playing out so far. The fact that I now have two possible endings for it in my head just shows how well written it is so far, so don't stop. You might feel pressured to update frequently, but trust me, don't give in to it. Write at your own pace, hell, even write a few chapters, don't post and wait a week, then go back. Detaching yourself from your work does amazing things to it, and it'll help you notice the more minor typing errors, and even helps you see if you've written yourself into a corner.

So, don't post immediately after completion of a chapter, finish it first and wait a week. I didn't do this with Blossom, and while it did help to do what I did (I had to escape SO many writing corners), it ultimately makes a better story if you're patient.
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route

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AnathRaema
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Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Feb 6th)

Post by AnathRaema » Sun Feb 16, 2014 3:44 am

I don't think anyone could hate you Numb. You're one of two of my favourite Miki writers. The other being Mr and/or Mrs Craftyatom here.
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I write poetry sometimes. It's pretty bad. I should work on that at one point.

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