Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (New NSFW Art 2/22)

[HoneyBakedHam]

Could be a matter of insecurity. Saki probably feels more comfortable telling it herself than someone just looking it up.

For instance, back in high school, I'd explain to some classmates I seem awkward because of my Asperger's. They'd look it up and just see it as a form of autism and figure I'm giving them malarkey because I'm smart in class or seemed normal at some times. Could've been easier to explain to them what I see through my view than just having someone read some generalized explanation.

[Eurobeatjester]

I'll give a more in depth reply later, because I'm at work right now.

But can I mention that as a writer, how happy I am that my writing skill has gotten to the point where it starts discussion like this?

[brythain]

He's not exactly the most sensible protagonist ever.

Which is why he actually hasn't internalised and processed all the clues that EBJ has dropped in front of him during the story...

[Alpacalypse]

But can I mention that as a writer, how happy I am that my writing skill has gotten to the point where it starts discussion like this?

Yes. Yes you can.

Which is why he actually hasn't internalised and processed all the clues that EBJ has dropped in front of him during the story...

Fair 'nough.
Internet debates are fun

[FelOnyx]

IT'S HERE!
Excellent as always.

Now that the praise is out of the way, it's productive discussion time!

Misha scowls at him. “You know, I know you just got out of surgery last week and your new implant probably hurts, but that's no reason to act like a jerk to all of us.”

Heh. I remember someone posted this in the headcanon thread.

Could be a matter of insecurity. Saki probably feels more comfortable telling it herself than someone just looking it up.

For instance, back in high school, I'd explain to some classmates I seem awkward because of my Asperger's. They'd look it up and just see it as a form of autism and figure I'm giving them malarkey because I'm smart in class or seemed normal at some times. Could've been easier to explain to them what I see through my view than just having someone read some generalized explanation.

Yeah, that's one angle. It would be better for Saki herself to explain what it's like for herself rather than Hisao looking it up and making assumptions. Like, I wouldn't say it would be bad for him to look it up to gain a bit of information on the condition if he kept a level head and didn't make any assumptions, but Hisao being Hisao, he's not going to do that, especially in his current state of mind. He'll read up on it, panic, and say something really dumb next time he talks to Saki.

[Eurobeatjester]

Yay! Off work so I have time to give a much longer reply. Thank you so much for reading it and the input so far!

Regarding Hisao's feelings of guilt or non guilt...everyone of you is somewhat right.

Saki's told Hisao - on more than one occasion - that if he has a question, all he has to do is ask her (and by extension, the other students at the school). He even had the courage to ask about Noriko's condition, even though she doesn't have one. Hisao's had several opportunities to ask Saki about her ataxia, but he hasn't.

I think the reasoning for this is two-fold.

The first is that up until this point in the plot, there's nothing that's happened that's really shown the negative effects of Saki's condition, whereas at this point in some of the official routes, either Hisao or the girl's disability has become at least a minor issue or a plot point forcing him to address it (Hanako's anxiety, Lilly's blindness, having to talk to Shizune either through Misha or pen-and-paper, etc) so he can push it out of his mind.

The second reason is that I believe at this point, he would still unconsciously be projecting his own insecurities about his condition onto Saki. He hasn't given her all the details about his condition either, and what he did tell her, he told her when she pressured him a bit at the festival. No matter how much you tell yourself you want to change your attitude towards something, it's not something that happens overnight. Maybe Hisao thinks that Saki would be uncomfortable talking in-depth about her condition because he isn't comfortable talking about his.

There's been plenty of things in conversation Hisao could pick up on if he was listening for them. But Saki hasn't actually told him anything about her condition, except it's a degenerative disease that attacks the nervous system. Saki's injury, combined with the comments from Nurse and Maeda, are finally making it so Hisao can't avoid thinking about it anymore. I personally think that the Master Of Romance was a bit overdone in the game, but that doesn't change the fact that I think it's very human and natural for Hisao to be dense at times...but there has to be a point where he wakes up and realizes what could be going on (you know, before making a comment about someone's dad being dead...)

Nurse's conversation about a buddy system makes Hisao realize that he doesn't actually trust Saki and the other girls yet, not enough to open up about the more unpleasant issues that could pop up with his condition, despite Chisato having no problems doing the same. It's not something he even realized he was doing, which makes it worse.

So now that all these things are something he has to face, he feels guilty - not because he's now curious about her condition, but because despite Saki's multiple reassurances that she's okay with the subject, he hasn't asked her about it except the one time. He can't bring himself to ask it of her now either, because of this guilt and because Saki's reaction to her injury could mean she really isn't as solid mentally as she tries to put up. If he doesn't ask her, it means he doesn't trust her when she says he can.

It's a combination of guilt, concern, and wanting to do something but not knowing what to do.

The final twist for him, is that he's battling with the idea that there's no real logical reason that he shouldn't look up her condition. You could justify it as wanting to know what to do in case a situation comes up, but if you were on the receiving end of that, wouldn't you feel just a little bit hurt or that the person went behind your back to learn it instead of just asking you directly?

It's a very complex set of emotions Hisao is feeling right now, and I wanted to try and convey that.

[Mirage_GSM]

Well first of all, you don't have to guess about Hisao's thoughts - you can decide his reasoning.

But I'm glad that you don't intend to go for cheap drama by handing Hisao some idiot ball

[Alpacalypse]

I'm glad that you don't intend to go for cheap drama by handing Hisao some idiot ball

Agreed.


And yeah, it does come across that the mix of emotions Hisao is feeling is complex. That's probably why we spent the best part of a page discussing it

[HoneyBakedHam]

Well first of all, you don't have to guess about Hisao's thoughts - you can decide his reasoning.

But I'm glad that you don't intend to go for cheap drama by handing Hisao some idiot ball

Wait...I thought Hisao WAS the ball.

[Sharp-O]

Really digging this route, it's been a fantastic read.

[Eurobeatjester]

Well first of all, you don't have to guess about Hisao's thoughts - you can decide his reasoning.

But I'm glad that you don't intend to go for cheap drama by handing Hisao some idiot ball

Would it be bad if I mentioned I haven't entirely decided on his reasoning yet? I tried to write it one way, and then I tried to write it the other and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

And yeah, I don't think that a moment of sheer stupidity on the part of Hisao is bad, as long as it's not the driving force behind the story. Some routes are better at that than others.

[swampie2]

loving this fic so far, looking forward to the next part!

[rimvydasm]

i love this fic so far,and i really like Saki,too bad she wasn't in KS,but at least we have this

[Mirage_GSM]

Would it be bad if I mentioned I haven't entirely decided on his reasoning yet? I tried to write it one way, and then I tried to write it the other and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

No. It will only become bad, if you something you write will become illogical due to your changing your mind afterwards. You'll have to keep in mind all possible motivations and make sure that his actions continue to make sense no matter what you decide later.
I think this is much harder to do than just sitting down and deciding beforehand, but it can certainly be done.

[EMMSixteenA4]

Finally got a good chance to sit down and read the latest chapter. Excellent. I'm really looking forward to seeing the nightmare of the internet diagnosis at work for somebody like Hisao.