Pseudodrabbles

WORDS WORDS WORDS
Recidivism
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Pseudodrabbles

Post by Recidivism » Tue Nov 05, 2013 10:16 pm

I need to write something that isn't my NaNoWriMo project right now, I have an idea, so let's go. This probably isn't going to be exactly 100 words, thus "Pseudo"drabble.

It's been a few months since we graduated from Yamaku. Hanako and I were fortunate enough to get to go to the same university, but our studies have still kept us busy enough that we could stand some more time together. We still make an effort to do things together, but it isn't like we're going to die if we're separated. Days like this are more than welcome, however. Today is a typical Sunday morning in the Fall, not anything out of the ordinary. I look over at Hanako, who is sleeping beside me. I don't feel like I could fall back asleep if I tried, but I put an arm around Hanako anyway, close my eyes, and enjoy the peace.

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Sea
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Sea » Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:01 am

I'm trying to be offput by it's shortness but I can't. Well done, It has all the feels in one small paragraph that other fics take chapters to get to. Keep up the drabbles, you can have a cage match with bhtoofer.
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Comrade » Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:39 am

Well, i can't really see the point of this.
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by bhtooefr » Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:17 am

Sea wrote:Keep up the drabbles, you can have a cage match with bhtoofer.
Themocaw is well in the lead with the whole drabble thing, between Five Drabbles, Post-Hisao (which may have been the inspiration for my drabbles) and Ten Drabbles in the Life of Akira Satou.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Mahorfeus » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:14 am

It seems a little less like a drabble and more like a summary of a story.
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The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Recidivism » Wed Nov 06, 2013 5:18 pm

Well, i can't really see the point of this.
There is no point. Isn't it lovely?

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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Wed Nov 06, 2013 5:29 pm

Recidivism wrote:
Well, i can't really see the point of this.
There is no point. Isn't it lovely?
Positively! :D

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y pls
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by Recidivism » Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:38 pm

If I really want to write something different again soon, I might write something short about an idea I had recently that heavily involves Misha.

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sanduba
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by sanduba » Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:30 pm

commenting so I'll see if more come out. sounds promising
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by bhtooefr » Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:35 pm

There's a link for that.

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bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
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Re: Hanako Pseudodrabble

Post by sanduba » Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:07 pm

really? lol, never noticed, sorry :P
Best story:
Hanako > Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

best girl:
Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Rin

Eh, that's my opinion.

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Fuck you, Hisao Nakai.

Post by Recidivism » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:17 pm

I stare at the assortment of pills in front of me, like every night before this one. Tonight is different. Tonight is the last time I'll take these. I try to put a finger on when exactly I decided that I should go through with this. It wasn't something that I gave a lot of thought to, until just now. Every day since I've arrived at Yamaku I've found myself pushing away more and more people who only wanted to help me. I had a chance for a new start, and I wasted it already. I pushed away Iwanako and all of my old friends in the hospital, and now I pushed away Shizune and Misha, Lilly probably thinks I hate her by now, Hanako is avoiding me even more than anyone else, I blew off Emi, and I don't think Rin ever cared in the first place. I'm alone. I can't help but smile, partially because it's almost over and partially because I feel like I deserve it. I pull out my phone and send a single text message to the first number I recall, Misha's. It's only one word, "Goodbye." I choose a dosage of one pill that I'm certain will end me quickly and take them. I look at man in the mirror for a second. You did a really nice job. Fuck you, Hisao Nakai.


Yeah, that's not it. I'm doing a second part soon. Just hold on for a short while.

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Leaty
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Re: Fuck you, Hisao Nakai.

Post by Leaty » Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:24 pm

No offense, but I feel like this wasn't quality controlled whatsoever. It looks like you just hammered out two hundred words and posted them immediately without giving it any thought. There's no explanation of what exactly this is, or what you're trying to do here, and there was no indication in the thread title what I'd find inside. It could have been goatse for all I knew.

What is it you're trying to do here? Are you trying to entertain an audience? Are you trying to improve your writing skills? Are you trying to explore the structure of the plot of Katawa Shoujo in an innovative way? I have no idea how you want people to respond to this. To me, it's a paragraph about Hisao wanting to kill himself. Okay then.

This board isn't going anywhere. When I see something like this that essentially amounts to a non sequitur in written form, it makes me think that the poster was lazy and wanted instant gratification without actually putting in very much effort. Believe me, this board is cluttered enough with all the suddenly deleted fanfics that float on the top of the board like so much flotsam.

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Re: Fuck you, Hisao Nakai.

Post by Mournful3ch0 » Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:24 pm

You're not a Doomish alt account, are you? ;)

Ah, kidding. Very short and sw... er, grim.

Edit: Idiocy removed. Continue on.

Cheers!
Last edited by Mournful3ch0 on Thu Nov 07, 2013 7:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Recidivism
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Re: Fuck you, Hisao Nakai.

Post by Recidivism » Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:29 pm

Leaty wrote:No offense, but I feel like this wasn't quality controlled whatsoever. It looks like you just hammered out two hundred words and posted them immediately without giving it any thought. There's no explanation of what exactly this is, or what you're trying to do here, and there was no indication in the thread title what I'd find inside. It could have been goatse for all I knew.

What is it you're trying to do here? Are you trying to entertain an audience? Are you trying to improve your writing skills? Are you trying to explore the structure of the plot of Katawa Shoujo in an innovative way? I have no idea how you want people to respond to this. To me, it's a paragraph about Hisao wanting to kill himself. Okay then.

This board isn't going anywhere. When I see something like this that essentially amounts to a non sequitur in written form, it makes me think that the poster was lazy and wanted instant gratification without actually putting in very much effort. Believe me, this board is cluttered enough with all the suddenly deleted fanfics that float on the top of the board like so much flotsam.
That's actually exactly what I did. I was bored and I wanted to do this, and then I'm going to do more with this. I do a lot of writing without actually planning out what I'm going to do without much more than a vague outline in my head.

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