bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread

[Lianam]

I think Lianam was thinking I went down a Hanako x Lilly yuri route in which Lilly x Hisao was cheating on Hanako, or something?

I dunno. (That's definitely not where I was going with that.)

No... I wasn't... I just haven't read Developments...

[bhtooefr]

One last note, as far as the context of this: it's gotta be Emi or Rin's route, I think, because I set Lilly as leaving... but that didn't actually happen in Shizune's route (per the path to the bad ending). Literally the only thing that could change that on Hisao's side, without being on Lilly or Hanako's routes, is if Lilly could think that Hisao could be Hanako's friend, even if he isn't. Rin's route, he has more interaction with Lilly, Emi's route, he's at least not dating Lilly's sworn enemy. But, it could be a simple butterfly effect. In any case, they're not familiar with one another - note that I have Hanako refer to him as Nakai.

[AntonSlavik020]

One question I have is how Hanako knew of Hisao's heart condition, since he didn't follow her or Lilly's path? He tended to be very private about it.

[TheGoatman]

He could have heard it from Lilly, or simply figured it out through gossip/asking around/common sense,

[Mirage_GSM]

I look up, surprised at Mutou's indiscretion, and see him grimacing at the screen. "M-M-Mutou, wh-what's wrong?"

I've complained before about students adressing teachers solely by their last name... But for Hanako to do that as well is just... wrong.

but that didn't actually happen in Shizune's route (per the path to the bad ending)

It did happen on Shizune's route as well. That scene is in there by mistake. Somehow slipped by everyone during development and beta^^°

[bhtooefr]

He could have heard it from Lilly, or simply figured it out through gossip/asking around/common sense,

This. (Except she, not he.)

And that gives more credence to the Rin's route theory.

Edit: Screw it, posting the twist.

I didn't say that there wasn't a self-insert, or that Satoru Mutou wasn't an insert, just that he wasn't a self-insert. I wrote Hanako as a self-insert (well, gender-flipped to fit the character, and I added some of her specific anxieties, and removed my suicidal ideations, and left out some of the wangst).

Lilly was inserted as a pastiche of my friends that were mainly on IRC, back then. And, it was more like Monty Python YouTube clips, not DVDs, but DVDs would be more Lilly's style.

Satoru was a gender-flipped version of a former love interest of mine. (For a mental image... Her personality was like... Akira (complete with resentment of Catholic parents), with a shot of drunk!Hanako, and a small sprinkling of Rin. And she was built like Emi. Green eyes, too.)

I left quite a bit out about her career (by the end, she was actually one of the accountants, and no longer the librarian), though, because it frankly would've been harder to believe. The suspiciously specific car model in the driving scenes... yep, she had a grey Mazda3, and yes, I drove it (and got my license in it) before her boyfriend did. And, her father was the main science/math teacher (and head of IT, which I left out - in other words, Mutou would've been Hanako's boss, too, if I expanded on that). And, her mother was the director of the whole school. Basically, the two people I reported to were her parents. Yes, I was colossally stupid.

Speaking of which, Hanako's career didn't start exactly like mine, but I had to make her getting hired believable, and felt that Mutou would be the best way to do it.

And, the school in question was a private school that specialized in learning disabilities, behavioral handicaps, and mental health. It wasn't as nice as Yamaku. (And, wasn't a boarding school.) But, still was a helpful school for me. I was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and "ADHD-like symptoms" when I was 7, and labeled as Severe Behavior Handicapped, so that's why I was sent there. Closest thing I've got to a physical disability is a lazy right eye, so I'm about 20/120 in that eye. (IIRC, Hanako is sometimes portrayed as having reduced vision in her right eye (due to fire damage, not genetics like in my case), so I have that in common with her. No scarring other than a scar on my palm, though.) 20/15 in the left, though, so it all balances out.

Basically, this was a few experiments. I wanted to see if I could get through writing that without triggering the old suicidal ideations or any other bad feelings, and passed with flying colors. Looks like 5 years has done me good. And, I wanted to see if I could write a good Hanako. I'm assuming from the lack of comments along the lines of "yuo wrote mai waifu OOC", and the speculation about how the story continues, that I at least didn't butcher it too badly. Which is interesting, that I can tweak my own experiences and make a believable Hanako.

And, yes, I hate kids. Not as much as Hanako would, though, as she has specific grievances against them, whereas my grievances are more general.

Also, it seems to be the KS style to not use any honorifics (either English or Japanese) to refer to anyone, other than -chan (and that's just Misha and Hisao's mother), hence my decision to not use honorifics.

[dewelar]

Also, it seems to be the KS style to not use any honorifics (either English or Japanese) to refer to anyone, other than -chan (and that's just Misha and Hisao's mother), hence my decision to not use honorifics.

They get around this mostly by not having the students talk much to the teachers. When it does happen, I've seen the honorifics translated to English. For instance, in Rin's route, both and Hisao both refer to Nomiya on several occasions as "teacher Nomiya", i.e. "Nomiya-sensei".

I hadn't really figured out how to comment on Stacks yet, and given your twist I'm sort of glad I didn't . However, I will say that as OOC portrayals go, I've seen far worse.

[bhtooefr]

Ah, I missed that. (I really need to replay Rin's route a few times, even though I was barely interested enough to play the first time.)

I'll go back through when I'm not on a BlackBerry, and fix that, then.

I won't deny that I got her more than a bit OOC, but I was surprised nobody called me out on it.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, I was in my high school's journalism class, too, albeit not in my senior year (I didn't actually take any HS classes my senior year, but rather took college classes (and had started doing so my freshman year) - let's just say I didn't have Hanako's running from class problem). I didn't do that many columns, mainly did layout and editing.

BTW, that actually is not my headcanon of Hanako, just was an experiment. I think she'd actually hyperfocus on the journalism club and latch onto Natsume once Lilly left.

[Mirage_GSM]

Also, it seems to be the KS style to not use any honorifics (either English or Japanese) to refer to anyone, other than -chan (and that's just Misha and Hisao's mother), hence my decision to not use honorifics.

The English language has a very handy word to conceal whether a conversation is formal or informal. That word is "you". You can use "you" for everyone regardless of whether or not you're on a first-name basis with them.
In KS whenever Hisao talks directly to Mutou he uses "you".
All cases where he - or any other student - just refers to him as "Mutou" it is either inner monologue, or he is talked about without being present.

[sanduba]

excuse me, i'm noobish here and I don't know what IIRC or OOC means...

[AntonSlavik020]

OOC = Out Of Character. Not sure about IIRC.

[dewelar]

OOC = Out Of Character. Not sure about IIRC.

If I Recall Correctly

[sanduba]

ah thanks

[bhtooefr]

Hmm, looking for exact quotes of how addressing Nomiya is handled. Which scenes does it happen in, if anyone remembers off the top of their head? (For whatever reason, don't like the Rin route, and I hate digging around in it.) I did find where in act 1, Rin referred to him as just "teacher", but that seems to be massively out of the norm for students to do.

Got a vague idea of a plotline for a Shizune drabble, so working on that.

[dewelar]

Hmm, looking for exact quotes of how addressing Nomiya is handled. Which scenes does it happen in, if anyone remembers off the top of their head? (For whatever reason, don't like the Rin route, and I hate digging around in it.) I did find where in act 1, Rin referred to him as just "teacher", but that seems to be massively out of the norm for students to do.

Heh...where I'm the opposite -- every time I start looking at Rin's route, I wind up immersed in it all over again. Anyway, I found an instance of Hisao calling him "teacher Nomiya" in "Raison d'Etre". Will look more when I'm prepared to waste an hour or two...